He should be bursting in wrath by now. The boy shook his head as he changed his clothes, contemplating on the notions of having that man for a stepfather. Him? As a stepfather? On England, a continent away –only a continent away. But if only it was not that man, any man would d, any man but him. He tucked his shirt back and sighed; his lack of a repulsive reaction, a worrisome matter. What does spending a long summer away from him gave?

"Gakushuu." his voice, a faint call behind his back.

A lack of caution.

His pupils dilated and his body froze, he knew with every breath whose voice it belongs to, how unable he was to explain this chilling fear. And he turned his head to find the man right at his doorstep. Spending this summer alone gave him the habit of keeping the door open. A terrible habit with him around.

"Ho- How long have you stayed there...?" he could feel his piercing stare.

The boy felt powerless; his body froze in the most uniform manner every time the man showed up -no different from a Pavlov's dog. And he could not turn his back to face him.

"I just came here." the man entered the room and sat on the bed.

"Maybe for a little talk."

LIAR. the boy thought. To suspect every word, every action, everything about the man with extra discretion, and remain with extra caution. And the man had probably stared at him, fondly –for god knows how long.

"I missed you Gakushuu." his voice made him shudder.

"-maybe I should bring you around to Glasgow, you might like it there."

He turned his back as he quickly slipped into his garment, avoiding overreaction at his own end. The boy let out an uneasy laugh and came to the realization that spending too many days at the house alone have had his senses dulled.

"I don't want to.." he replied, his back still facing the man.

"Is that so..? I'm still giving you a lot of time to think about it."

The boy thought the man was different, the way he acted and how the kitchen was more quiet than usual. And it hit him. "Reuben… " he asked very slowly and carefully.

"Where is mom..?"

He could hear the man chuckle lightly.

"She went to off to buy something."

Blank violet orbs and the boy felt his energy drain swiftly. No matter how hard he tried to conceal it, he could already felt that the man sensed his apparition.

"Gakushuu—" he could hear the man's sole, a single step behind his back.

"Reuben, dont get closer." his words were a near whisper.

"Reuben.." the footsteps stopped right behind him.

"Reube—"

"DON'T—" the boy shouted and the palm that nearly touched him withdrawed.

If only he could see the man's expression, but he was too much in fear to see the look on his face. Is he crossed? Is he excited? He does not know.

"What's the matter, Gakushuu?"

He was pretty much backed up against the wall, his every breath inching closer. How could he stop himself from trembling? And little did the boy know of the man's sinister expression.

"Why are you shaking…?" he asked in a tone so sympathetic, real.

Gakushuu swallowed hard. His palm on his shoulders.

"I DON-!" he slapped his wrists.

"I DON'T WANT THIS..!" and pulled his shoulders away brusquely.

The man stopped and withdrew his hands once again, but the boy still felt terribly suffocated.

"I'm not going to do anything to you, Gakushuu."

A few paces and Gakushuu heard the door close behind him. As quick as lightning he turned his head to find that the man really had left him alone. The boy trembled slightly before curling into a ball in the corner of the bed, knees folded.

So the man knew just how little he needed to do to press his buttons.


It was Reuben, the man inside his dreams and his sleep.

Tying him up to the bedpost, beating his back with his cane. Those tiny nips up his jugular, a muffled orifice. Where he had no power to shout or scream.

"Are you asleep?"

His eyes snapped open, unadjusted to the dark, and panic drowned him. He could feel a hand on his forehead and he slapped it aside, never feeling more scared or awake.

"DON'T TOUCH ME–."

"Shuu?" and he was startled instead by the voice of a woman.

Those violet eyes stared with such apparition at the figure, when he had looked more closely was his mother, who was just as equally startled.

"What's wrong..? You look like you've seen a ghost?"

"Oh…" the boy was in some sort of daze before he smiled at his mother.

"I'm sorry, it's probably because I surprised you." his mother said apologetically.

"No, it's alright… I just don't feel so good." he reasoned, looking away.

"Fever…?" his mother touched his forehead again. "You've been twisting and turning in your sheets after I heard you scream in the middle of the night."

"I did…?" he asked back in confusion.

"Did you have a bad dream..? Your forehead is unusually warm." she looked in concern. Gakushuu looked at his bedroom door.

"Mom, where's Reuben..?"

The woman gave him a quizzical look.

"Oh, he's still sleeping. What's the matter?"she asked.

"Nothing, I just thought I could've woke him up." his speech started to slur.

His mother smiled and caressed him gently.

"Just go to sleep, I will compress your fever…"

Me..? Am I taking her place..?

The sacrifice for her happiness.. I..

Can I live like this..?

Father... I wish you're here-

...

..

.

"Gakushuu, are you mumbling something..?"

What did she actually do…

Why did you leave, Ren..?

Is she the same as he is…

That monster…

And his mind started to drift.

Because I too..

I want to run away too..

"Mom…"

"Yes dear..?"

"Please company me, tonight."