Missy Mist, here! Love you all! Look at all those new followers. To the new followers of this shit storm, welcome to the clusterfuck. Enjoy the next chapter. Sorry for the late update, I guess I shouldn't try to predict my update dates...

Disclaim: I don't own Hyrule Warriors. If I did then I'd be buying a more expensive brand of waffles.

Thanks to:

whitworth5274: Your reviews get funnier the more I read them. You are absolutely wonderful, and I worship you.

Guest: Hehe...lonk. You said lonk...hehe. Lonk from Pennsylvania...EHeheEh

Generala: Oh alright then.

SkittyPuffPuff: You are just a ball of sunshine. Doing strange things to your body? Whoops...I'll include that in the warning next time...

Dragondude85: I know, right? Everyone has the mutual curiosity for how Impa will utterly destroy the chosen hero. That's probably going to be whitworth's favorite part too.

Guest: Ah, my lovely, thanks for the encouragement. I tried. I jope I didn't disappoint.

Warning: Disclaim? This is an M-rated story, there will be M-rated scenes. Side effects include: doing strange things to your body, Impa, lemony-limey content, Impa, case of the snuggles, fear of muggles, absurd case of the hiccups, Impa.

Reviews are always welcome ^o^. I crave them like you crave hardcore yaoi...just kidding...sort of. (I feel like these are always conversations with myself)

Comment: FALCON...PUUUNCH!


Last time:

'Hylian brat? He couldn't possibly mean...'

"Shocked, are we? If you three haven't pieced it together yet, your princess happens to be with child!" Impa's gaze snapped to the Princess, switching between the two of them. More laughter erupted from Ganondorf. He seemed to be the only one enjoying the news.

Zelda and Link made eye contact once more, thinking the same thought:

'Oh shit.'


Ganondorf's laughter ripped through the moment of silence, triggering Impa to glare savagely at Ganondorf. Luckily for the trio, Ganondorf's bravado was about to be momentarily stomped out.

The Hylian army had begun to creep from the edged of the battlefield and managed to surround Ganondorf within moments. "What's this? Where are Zant and Ghirahim? Slacking off again?"

Link was suddenly glad he had decided to take out the underlings of Ganondorf's army before challenging the Demon King. "I took care of them."

Ganondorf clicked his tongue in disapproval. "I see. I could annihalate you all here and send your precious princess to an early grave, but a good leader looks after his underlings." Ganondorf released Zelda from his death grip, laughing as he departed from whence he came. Impa and the soldiers watched in stunned silence as he began to stroll away as if nothing had happened. The army could do little to shake off the astonishment of his early departure. Link didn't care for Ganondorf and was quick to catch Zelda before she fell.

Cradling her in his arms, he moved her hair from her face and shoulders to inspect her neck. He glared at the angry red mark that wrapped around her throat. Fury burned in the pit of his stomach, angry that Ganondorf had touched her. That Ganondof dared to leave a mark on her. That the bastard dared to walk away unscathed after he hurt her.

Zelda weakly opened her eyes and graced him with a small smile. "Thanks for catching me." Immediatley he could feel his heart melt at the look she gave him. Pure, genuine relief.

He returned her smile uneasily. "I wouldn't have ever let you fall." Link hooked his arms under her knees and gently lifted her up. Zelda turned her head to survey her soldiers. "Squad's one and two will search the battlefield for any wounded soldiers. Squad three will transport the wounded to the castle and Squad four and five will collect stray weapons. Everyone else head toward the castle."

Zelda watched as her soldiers scurried to fullfill her orders, and she watched until not one remained in her presence. Sighing she nodded at Link who took the cue to set her down gently. After watching Zelda step away from him he only had a second to think 'Fuck' and attempt to dodge before seeing Impa's fist fly toward his face.

To the Hero's misfortune, Impa's fist caught him in the cheek, the force still strong enough to send him back into the ground. Needless to say, Impa's rage was not any less appeased.

Link lie on his side the ground, unmoving. Hell, I deserve it. I should have protected her. Not just from Ganondorf, from myself. It was Zelda who had to stumble to his rescue.

"Impa, stop it!" The Princess's attempts to pry Impa away from the young warrior were mostly in vain.

He could faintly hear Impa's growl of frustration before he felt her shoe burrying itself in his stomach. Zelda couldn't stand to hear the wind kicked out of him. She briefly tried to drag Impa away from the Hero, but Impa's rage was only increasing. Impa's face took on a dark expression as she inflicted on him a much stronger impact. Watching Link sit up to cough up blood was Zelda's undoing. Before Impa could dare land another kick, the Princess shielded his body with hers; clinging desperately to the front of his tunic.

"Princess, move aside." Impa's words came out in short growls.

"No, I refuse to stand by and watch as you hurt him."

Impa's gaze narrowed coldly and dangerously, though it wasn't her own life that Zelda feared for. "Then don't watch. In fact, I can guarantee that it would only be a matter of minutes. He will pay for what he's done!"

Link seemed to finally retain the breath that he had lost (as well as the train of thought that had 'crashed' earlier) as he looked up to the two female warriors. "Don't defend me, Zelda. Impa's right...I deserve this- No, I deserve worse."

Impa nodded her grim assent, starting to unsheathe her Giant's Knife. "Good, let's get started then." Had the situation not been so dire, Zelda would have laughed.

Zelda tensed and clung ever tighter to the green-clad Hero. "No, Impa. Despite what it sounds to be, the fact still stands; it's my fault." Shockingly, these words were just enough to still Impa in her tracks. Zelda could see the emotions warring across her guardian's face. After what seemed like an eternity, Impa sheathed her blade and folded her arms, prompting Zelda to continue.

"If I hadn't brought those damned drinks with me, then this whole ordeal would have never happened."

Impa didn't look too convinced. She arched a brow, asking an unspoken question: Explain? Zelda bit her bottom lip guiltily. "About a month ago, after the celebration, I accidentally intoxicated him." As an afterthought, she added in a small voice: "and...might have took advantage of him..." The embarrassment of the situation made itself evident by staining Zelda's cheeks a vibrant red.

Impa blanched before she continued to stare back and forth between them. She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose, as if warding off an incoming migrane. Zelda subconciously pulled Link into a tighter embrace.

It was bad enough that it was her fault, but now Link was attempting to absorb all of the blame? Nothing could have made Zelda feel guiltier. After a deafening silence, Impa finally looked up and asked the question Zelda dreaded most- "So, what are you planning to do now, your Highness?"


Zelda had been stumped by Impa's question but had ultimately decided to postpone that decision. That would require a lot of thought.

Instead, the Princess opted for sending her troops to the castle to tend the wounded and make haste on those repairs. Goddesses only knew how much time they had left until Ganondorf made his next move. With many internal groans, Zelda finally sorted out the casualties. It had taken a couple of hours, but by sundown dinner had been served, wounds had been tended, and temporary repairs were arranged. The Goddesses are not on my side today...

While she had tried to send them off to get their wounds tended, Zelda found it hard to shrug off both Link and Impa, as both wished to remain by her side. Glad for the support or annoyed by their worry, Zelda wasn't sure. Afterall, they seemed to be content following her like second shadows.

In any case, the Princess could no longer evade the main concern of the day. It seemed that word of Zelda's situation hadn't gotten out yet, but it wouldn't be long before that happened.

Impa was the first to break the silence. "Well?" Zelda sighed at Impa's impatient tone. It couldn't be helped. Hell, even Zelda was wondering what she would do. How had Impa managed to corner her like this? And how had she managed to not kill Link by now?

Zelda sat on the steps before her throne, delved deep in thought. For a while, all she could do was sit with her legs folded and her hands tucked under her chin. What to do about this sticky situation? This is all my fault...

"There's nothing I can do but wait for it to be over, until then I can stay with my kingdom until the date of the birth draws nearer and go into hiding until it's completely over. Our only hope is to fend off Ganondorf's armies until after the ordeal or defeat him without me there."

Impa looked shocked at my proposal. "Princess...are you sure that you would want to go into hiding?" That's right...

Impa knew better than anyone how Zelda hated staying out of the action. It wasn't like her to sit on the sidelines of the battlefield. It had been hard enough to disguise herself as Sheik in order to operate undercover. "It's not that I necessarily want to, it's what needs to be done." Zelda let out a fervent sigh, her shoulders slumping with the relief of having found a solution.

To Zelda's surprise and chagrin, Impa smiled gently at the Princess, her eyes softening. "My, have you grown from the little girl I knew." Oh yes, the Princess could recall having been quite the handful during her childhood.

The Princess couldn't help but chuckle at the fond memories. "I would like to think so." After a moment's Hesitation, Zelda finally worked up the courage to address her Green-clad Hero. "Link, if you don't mind, I'd...like to spend the rest of my evening with you."

The surprise couldn't be more evident on his face. Nevertheless, he nodded with a warm "Of course, Princess" and an apologetic smile.

Returning his smile, Zelda meekly offered him her hand. "Shall we, then?"


I know that you were all ever-so-anxious to watch our favorite hero get beat down by Impa. I hope it was fullfilling enough to read. I can never tell with my own writing.

Sorry for the late update, though. I'm happy for all of the new followers and people that favorited this story. Hopefully you guys tell me if Impa beating down the hero was entertaining enough.

So hope you enjoyed that next chapter. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. I'm quoting this as an excuse as to why I won't bother trying to predict the dates of my...updates... I figured in terms of updating, I could just wing it. Afterall, planning my update dates never seems to work out...

Please Review! It inspires me to update faster, surprisingly enough...

If you're feeling sad/bored have this: /post/129449633416/stop-crying-partner