Random ass Yuumeishipping oneshot - that's all the ~yamis~ and the normals smushed together in a big ball of chaos and hair. When did they all meet? How did they get their own bodies? I dunno.

The character tags are missing Y-Malik and Atem/Y-Yugi. Y-Yugi is referred to as Atem because, well, that's his name. Bakura and Atem both have the appearance of their Millennium World/past lives. Takes place modern/post series timeline/whenever. (Relatively) good Bakura and Y-Malik. Slightly Baku-biased, they are my faves after all. Dysfunctional relationship ahoy!

DISCLAIMER: This first chapter has little to nothing to do with the rest of the fic. Think of it like a pilot episode, I guess. There are some elements from it I'll be keeping, but please consider this chapter non-canon to the rest of the story. The story starts for real next chapter!

How they all fit in Ryou's apartment is a miracle in itself. They've long given up on the concept of 'the bed', instead throwing down on the floor as many mattresses and pillows as they can get their hands on and turning the bedroom into a literal bed-room. One day they'll be able to afford somewhere with a little breathing room, but not on Ryou or Yugi's wages.

Bakura doesn't care about touching Atem, but he's shamelessly all over Yugi whenever he gets the chance. Maybe he thinks Yugi's just that cute, maybe it's just to piss Atem off. Either way, the first time Yugi gets to be inside someone, it's Bakura who straddles his thighs and trembles as he slides down, Bakura who arches his back and moans when Yugi can't take the achingly slow thrusts anymore and rolls them over to pick up the pace.

The neighbors don't seem to notice Ryou's sudden influx of new permanent roommates, or the noise. If they do, only Yugi cares about disturbing them. If he doesn't want to disturb anyone, he can stop being the noisiest one.

Yugi bites. He's left his mark on almost everyone at this point and has preferences on who and where he puts them. Atem's shoulder, Malik's hip, the other Malik's neck and Bakura's thighs have all bled because of him. Atem is shocked, scandalized without fail even though it happens to him the most. Malik grumbles about none of his clothes being long enough to cover the marks. The other Malik bares his throat even more. Bakura crosses his legs behind Yugi's head and traps him down there until he kisses it better. He doesn't bite Ryou. Ryou wants him to.

The kitchen is simply too small to handle six people who all have wildly differing diets and cooking styles, so they tend not to eat together unless they go out. Ryou, Atem and Yugi are fiends for instant meals and takeout, Malik's monopolized most of the fridge space with vegetables and the other Malik fills what's left with meat. Bakura goes for the bandit plate technique, sneaking bits and pieces off everyone else when he's hungry.

Malik's got a thing for watching. He sometimes sits back on the bed with a camera in one hand and gropes his cock with the other, shouting suggestions every so often and damn near purring when he is obeyed. He likes to think that it's just some innate desire for control acting up, whatever quality made him suited for the Rod, but the times when Malik sits and watches synch up alarmingly well with certain dates in his life. They love Malik but they're also his boyfriends, not his therapists. When it's just him and Bakura, he stops giving orders and just records himself touching every inch of Bakura's body. Part of him will always fear that whatever brought Bakura back to him will take him away.

The apartment is a booze free zone. Yugi is a terrible lightweight just because of his slight stature. Bakura and Atem are too - the weak ale those two drank instead of water in the past is nothing compared to what modern drinks have to offer, a fact they never remember before their second shot on a night out. Malik and Ryou are miserable and aggressively flirty drunks respectively. The other Malik just doesn't like the taste.

Atem is well aware that some members of their little group aren't exactly fond of him; they don't let him touch them at all or just tolerate it and the latter feels far worse than the former. Sometimes he wishes he weren't Atem, that he was still 'the other Yugi', because he wants things from Bakura and Malik that he can't ask of Yugi or Ryou, or the other Malik for that matter. But then he remembers that means he can put his royal hands on the three of them as much as they want and Bakura and Malik have to just sit there and deal with it until he's satisfied.

Three on three duels are a confusing, inelegant mess, but they find a way to make them work anyway. Yugi still always wins and not for lack of the others trying by any means. Bakura takes great pleasure in knocking out Atem as fast as possible, only to be picked off by Ryou soon after. The other Malik's deck is a bizarre theme-less mishmash of stuff he thinks looks cool and little else, while Malik is constantly switching between the latest tournament builds in a vain attempt to beat Yugi.

The other Malik is the most laissez-faire when it comes to their bizarre arrangement. He doesn't care who Atem or Bakura were and he doesn't really care about Yugi or Malik now. Are any of them on his dick or will be in the near future? Awesome. But Ryou? Ryou's special. He wants Ryou. Ryou's the only one allowed to fuck him, because he's the only one of the four who doesn't really give a damn who he was either. He can see it in the rest of their eyes and he's not going to trust any of them inside him. Ryou is rabid with the need for someone to stop caring about him and start wanting him and the other Malik is more than happy to oblige.

None of them wake up at the same time, but without fail, Ryou is up first and Malik last. Bakura often wakes soon after Ryou, but prefers to lounge on the pillows for a while instead of being alone with him in the early hours. Malik clings at random when he sleeps, so whoever he grabs is stuck until he wakes up. Atem and Yugi sleep curled together and wake up together. The other Malik never starts the night anywhere near them, but always wakes up right in the middle.

Ryou is grateful for the other Malik, because the other Malik is the only one who doesn't treat him like glass. Yugi never bites him, never marks him as his own the way he claims the others. Malik never directly gives him orders and rarely lets the camera linger on him. Atem is an entirely different problem - he damn near worships his body but that's not what Ryou wants either. They love him, he knows they do, but not in the way he craves. He can't decide if Bakura hates him or himself the most, but either way the man is too much of a coward to even kiss Ryou. It's ridiculous. Committing murder and theft and god knows what else with Ryou's hands was perfectly fine, but letting those same hands caress him of their own free will now is out of the question, apparently.

The balcony is the quietest place in the apartment. It's where you'll find Ryou and the other Malik after another fight with Bakura that was sort of a fight with the rest of them too. Yugi skypes with all of his friends. Malik monopolizes it at least once a week to check in on his siblings. Bakura flees there whenever someone chokes the apartment with smoke from burned meat. Atem sits and watches the street below and marvels at how he can even be here.