A Forbidden Taste Chapter 2: II, a saint seiya fanfic

Title: A Forbidden Taste - Chapter 2

Author: Lune Kuruta

Fandom: Saint Seiya - The Lost Canvas

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2705 (this chapter)

Characters/Pairings: Leo Regulus, Sagittarius Sisyphus, Sasha (Athena). Mentions of Capricorn El Cid.

Genres: Drama, yaoi.

Summary: It was wrong. It was dirty. It was forbidden. But Regulus couldn't fight against such a powerful feeling.

Warnings: Mentions of incest (unrequited). Author chooses not to warn for anything else.

Notes: Story written for the Secret Coconut, a fic exchange promoted by the community Saint Seiya Super Fics Journal (chapter originally published on September 20, 2014).

* This fic is set right before the beginning of the "The Lost Canvas" series (before the Holy War on 1743).

* Revised by Vane. Thank you very much! :3

Regulus was a special boy. A prodigy, indeed. But Sisyphus couldn't help being worried about him.

His abilities were still there-in fact, they had been evolving even more, in an astonishing way. Still, something was missing: his spontaneity, that shiny gaze, that energy… All just seemed to be gone, or to be held inside of Regulus.

Lately, he had been looking even more absent-minded, thoughtful, concerned. What was wrong? Sisyphus tried to get closer to him, but he had always been a bit aloof when it came to his own feelings. He was amazing at analyzing moves and techniques, but not at dealing with subjective matters.

And Regulus' behavior toward him was quite unusual.

"Look at this, Sisyphus!"

He seemed to be trying to assert himself, and Sisyphus thought he understood the problem. The Holy War was approaching, and Regulus was probably nervous about that. He was not the youngest Saint involved-there were Yato and the others-but, as a Gold Saint, his responsibility was higher. Too much weight over his shoulders, maybe.

And that strange behavior was Regulus' way of dealing with all that pressure: silently strenghtening his self-confidence and improving his skills more and more.

Maybe I haven't been showing that clearly enough, but I believe in you, Regulus.

000

That day, he offered to fight with him. Sisyphus didn't actually wanting to fight, but he hoped to talk to him a little; maybe break that emotional barrier in which Regulus had involved himself.

But Regulus didn't seem to be even listening to him. "Regulus? Are you listening?"

"Eh… Sorry."

"Not that I'm not used to it." Sisyphus sighed. "You must try to keep concentrated not only when watching fights, you know. You're a Gold Saint and must be focused all the time. There is a Holy War coming up." Sisyphus didn't mean to be insensitive, but Regulus' attitudes were frankly worrisome to him.

"I… I know."

"That's okay." He tried to get things calmer. "What do you say about a fight with me? Your power is amazing, but your physical abilities are also important!"

"Uh… Okay."

Regulus was so laconic! There was something wrong with him, as he had always liked to be challenged. Even worse: Regulus didn't even move.

"Why are you hesitating?" Sisyphus was definitely concerned about his former apprentice.

"Nothing, I just-"

"Good morning."

That voice.

"L-Lady Athena," Sisyphus bowed down to her. She was accompanied by Pope Sage.

"You don't need to be this formal, Sisyphus." Sasha smiled at him.

That smile.

Sisyphus tried to believe, with all his heart, that everything he felt for her was just devotion to a goddess. Athena was his reason to be, after all. However, he couldn't deny that warmth enveloping his heart every time she would give him a single smile.

She was kind and sweet, and her eyes seemed to be filled with light. He wished, with all his heart, that she could be happy for as long as possible. Since he had taken her away from her "brothers" years before, involving her in that sad life of war and death, Sisyphus felt himself rewarded by every little smile she was able to give.

He tried to suffocate those thoughts as hard as he could. It felt like his devotion for Athena was going too far, too wrong, and sometimes he was afraid that somebody else would notice it. It would be inappropriate, for sure.

But every single word, smile or glance from her had the power to illuminate his whole soul, and Sisyphus couldn't fight against such a pure feeling that guided all his steps.

"Good morning, Regulus. Am I interrupting you two?"

Sisyphus had almost forgotten about his nephew's presence.

"Not at all," Regulus answered.

" Oh, I am relieved to hear that. I am just walking by a little, breathing some fresh air, and wanted to come here and see how you were doing. "

"I'm glad that you're safe and happy today, Lady Athena."

And Sisyphus definitely was. Sasha always enjoyed strolling by the Sanctuary, as she used to spend too much time enclosed in her temple. That was for her own safety, indeed, and Sisyphus was usually the first to remind the others of that, but deep inside his heart almost bled when she was unhappy.

And he was often able to tell whether she was happy or not. Sasha always tried to have a gentle smile in her lips, but there was a tinge of sadness behind it that Sisyphus had learned to detect over time.

"Regulus? Are you all right?"

Sasha's sweet voice interrupted his thoughts, and Sisyphus finally turned his attention to the Leo Saint.

"I'm fine."

No, he wasn't, and in his expression Sisyphus could read something like… anger? Why would he be mad at Athena's presence? He wasn't even too interested in fighting, anyway.

"I think you should rest a little." Sasha seemed concerned about him. "Maybe you're pushing too hard..."

"I'm fine," Regulus repeated somewhat irritated, and his tone was definitely unfriendly. Sisyphus narrowed his eyes in reprimand, and Regulus added, "But thank you for your concern."

"Regulus may be a bit absent-minded sometimes, milady," Sisyphus tried to justify that strange behavior.

Sasha seemed to believe him. "Anyway, you've just come back from a mission. Rest a little. I must go now. Have a nice day!" She smiled at them and left, escorted by the Pope.

Sisyphus stared at her for a while before turning his attention to his nephew. He tried to calm down before speaking, as he was hoping to gain his trust. "What's wrong with you today?"

Athena was right: he was probably tired. Maybe he could take the day off and study a little. Exercise his mind and rest his body. "Athena is right. Maybe you've pushed too hard from the beginning... What about studying today?"

"What? No, no, I don't-"

"You're a Gold Saint now, but we must keep always learning. Go, I'll stop by your temple later, right?"

Regulus sighed, but at least obeyed him. Sisyphus watched as he left the arena. His nephew had been hiding something serious from him, for sure, and he needed to find out what and why.

Sisyphus spotted El Cid observing him from the middle of the arena.

El Cid. What a valuable friend! They might have their differences about the best way to train apprentices, but they had always respected and admired each other. Capricorn was quite serious and responsible, but his loyalty was unique.

El Cid was also a good lover. Sisyphus felt guilty for spending so many nights on his bed and not being able to return all the obvious feelings that the Capricorn Saint had for him, but El Cid had never demanded that anyway. He knew Sisyphus' heart better than anyone else and he was fine that way.

In spite of that guilt, El Cid's arms were warm and his kisses were surprisingly tender. If Sisyphus couldn't handle his intense, pure and devoted love for Sasha, El Cid understood and comforted him anyway. There was pleasure, for sure, but also complicity.

He needed El Cid that night, and his friend silently agreed.

000

"Sisyphus."

The Sagittarian fulfilled his promise, going to the Leo Temple in order to check in on Regulus. He was about to leave when Regulus called him back. "Yes?"

"Would you sleep with me tonight?"

Sisyphus stared confused at him. That was an unusual request, for sure. Regulus always tried to show himself as independent and strong. "Is there any problem? Are you feeling ill or something?"

"No, I just… I would like you to stay, is all."

Sisyphus looked at him. Perhaps the matter was somewhat deeper than simply being worried about the Holy War.

A thunder echoed through the temple, announcing a storm.

"Are you afraid of the storm?" Sisyphus was surprised. "You? I mean, that's not very usual..."

"Will you stay?"

Regulus sounded almost like a child afraid of losing his parents. That was not the Regulus he used to know. "I'm sorry, Regulus. I need to go to my temple, and tonight-"

"You're going to spend the night with El Cid, aren't you?"

Sagittarius blinked, bewildered. How did he know about that? They always tried to be discreet, and Regulus himself was not a good observer of such matters. "How do you… I mean, what are you talking about?"

"I can sense your cosmo coming from there sometimes. So, are you going to meet him? That's why you can't stay with me?" Regulus looked almost hurt or betrayed, like a child when his parents needed to leave.

Sisyphus hesitated, but tried to bring him back to his usual maturity level. "Don't get me wrong, Regulus. This is an adult matter."

"Why? I'm a Gold Saint, now. I'm a man! Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do, but-"

"So, why would I be a worse company? Why can't you do with me what you do with El Cid?"

Regulus was so innocent. How could Sisyphus explain that his relationship with El Cid went beyond a commom friendship? He could never do with his own nephew what he used to do in the Capricorn Temple. "I'm sorry, Regulus, but you don't understand-"

"Show me, then! Show me why he is so important to you that you don't mind spending the night with him, but not with me! "

"I can't, Regulus… This is complicated..."

"It shouldn't be!"

Silence.

The probable answer became clear in Sisyphus' head. Regulus was jealous, as his only family had been spending more time with others than him. He had probably been hiding that loneliness for so long that it finally exploded in the past minutes. Poor boy! If only he would trust Sisyphus enough to tell him all that, things might have been different.

After realizing that, Sisyphus simply couldn't leave him alone once again. That night, El Cid would have to forgive his absence. His nephew needed him, and he needed to give him all the support he could.

"Will you really meet him tonight? Well, you should hurry then. It's raining." After their brief argument , Regulus' voice sounded suddenly helpless.

Sisyphus sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. He tried to reassure his nephew, and gently said, "No, I won't. I just can't let you here on your own when it's obvious that you're not okay. I'm staying here with you tonight. He'll understand."

Regulus smiled at him, and Sisyphus knew that he was doing the right thing.

000

When Sisyphus opened his eyes, the situation was so strange that he needed a while to understand it.

He was lying on Regulus' bed, and his nephew lay too close to him. It couldn't be…

As soon as Regulus saw his eyes open, he had a start and jumped away, looking quite ashamed of himself. Sisyphus could almost hear his heartbeats. If the first impression had been unbelievable, that reaction now was evidence that maybe his malicious thought was real.

Disturbingly real.

Sisyphus controlled himself. Maybe he was just wrong. Regulus would never do that sort of thing. He took a deep breath and tried to act like nothing had happened. "What's happening, Regulus?"

"N-nothing…"

" You're obviously nervous. What happened? Are you scared of the storm? Regulus, that was just a thunder. You're the Leo Saint, you don't need to be afraid of thunders."

He saw Regulus blush. Yes, maybe that was the problem! He was ashamed of still being afraid of storms. Sisyphus almost sighed in relief.

"I just got a fright, just that."

He looked at the ashamed boy and smiled in understanding. Maybe if Regulus felt confident enough to talk to him about his fears, Sisyphus might be able to help his nephew overcome them. "I think that you want to tell me something but you're too ashamed to do that. Am I right? Don't be afraid of showing me your feelings. I promised you that I would protect you, take care of you. You're an amazing Gold Saint, but I know that you still need me. You don't need to be ashamed of that."

"Sisyphus…"

"Tell me, Regulus. I want to help you."

Regulus gulped, clenching his hands to stop them from shaking. "I… I think…"

"Go ahead!"

"I think I love you."

No. No!

Regulus closed his eyes and didn't see the shock in Sisyphus' face. So his first impression hadn't been wrong. His own nephew really tried to kiss him while he was asleep. That explained everything: his efforts to get noticed by Sisyphus; his jealousy toward El Cid and even Athena; his cautious behavior, trying to conceal his forbidden feelings toward his uncle.

No. Regulus was mistaken. He was too innocent to understand the different kinds of affection. Besides, he was growing up, and probably got confused about his own feelings, directing his puberty-related desires at the person he admired the most. That was the most probable explanation, and it was not Regulus' fault.

Regulus clearly felt guilty about that, and Sisyphus needed to tranquilize him. After all, he did love him too! All he needed to do was to show him that their love was different.

He smiled at Leo. "I'm flattered, Regulus." And he actually was.

"... Are you?" He looked quite puzzled.

" I thought I would never have the opportunity to say this, because… to be honest, I was afraid of failing as your teacher and spoiling you too much. But I was wrong. I should have said this right from the start. I love you too, Regulus. "

Regulus widened his eyes, shocked. "You… do you?"

"Of course I do." Sisyphus kissed him in the forehead, gently.

"What-"

"You're my beloved nephew. Maybe I tried too hard to be a good teacher and forgot my promise to take care of you, supporting you as your only family. You don't need to be afraid of your feelings for me, Regulus. You can always count on me."

"That's not-"

"You were jealous because I've been spending too much time with El Cid and you were alone. I am so sorry about that! I didn't notice that you needed me. You don't have to hold down your heart, Regulus. Love is a beautiful feeling!"

Regulus quivered, but he needed to understand. Maybe he would feel better if Sisyphus opened his own heart to him. " Sometimes, I wish I could be as good to you as my brother was," he confessed. "I wanted you to be proud of me as well. To be a guide, to be trusted by you. But maybe I've been a bit overprotective. "

"But you're not my father!" Regulus exploded. "You don't have to replace him! You will never replace him, Sisyphus, and I don't want you to! Listen-"

"I know that I'll never be like your father, Regulus," Sisyphus added gently. "I am aware of that. I just want you to like me as Sisyphus. As your teacher, your colleague, your friend, your uncle! And I'm glad that you have feelings for me. I'll do my best to deserve them. "

"But I-" Regulus' voice broke in a sob.

Sisyphus hugged him. This gesture reminded him of that day, a few years earlier, when he had held Regulus in his arms and Sagittarius wings and promised that he would protect him. He would never break that promise. "I'm here for you. Don't you ever forget that, right?"

Regulus tightened the embrace, burying his face into Sisyphus' torso, and the Sagittarian assumed that his nephew had finally understood his good intentions.

"Shhh… Let's sleep..."

A wet sensation in his chest showed him that the boy was crying quietly. Sisyphus understood his suffering. He knew how it was like to nurture an unrequited, impossible feeling. They both shared the guilt of loving someone they couldn't love the way they did.

But Sisyphus hoped that Regulus would have a chance to understand the real nature of his feelings, sublimate them and follow his own path. And he would help his nephew with that.

Life goes on...

The storm continued outside the temple.

THE END

Additional notes:

Oh, gosh x.x I wanted a better ending for this chapter, but couldn't think of anything else x.x

Hi again, Boolafaz! In this chapter I tried to better develop Sisyphus' POV. It may have looked repetitive (x.x)... That was my intention, indeed, but I hope that it wasn't too boring n.n''

Once again, I tried to include some of your headcanons for these characters here. I hope that I got them right ^^'' They're quite interesting, in my opinion! I wanted to develop his feelings for Sasha a little more, but I was not too inspired x.x [sigh]

I was undecided whether Sisyphus should be aware of Regulus' feelings or not, so I went for a middle ground: Regulus couldn't help it and told him, and Sisyphus tried to act like he "misunderstood" Regulus in order not to hurt him, and at the same time he tried to help him deal with his feelings and transform them into something he could express. Sisyphus is a good person, and besides he knows how it feels like (as he loves Sasha and feels guilty about that), so he would naturally have some empathy for Regulus. I'm not sure if I was able to convey this idea in full, though x.x

Once again, I would like to thank Vane and Anita for all their support and patience with me! Thank you very much!

And I really hope that you will like this fic, Boolafaz!

Kissus,

Lune Kuruta

NOTE: I totally forgot to correct an information on the notes of the previous chapter: actually, I did select this prompt among the ones I blindly chose to write for the Secret Coconut. I told Boolafaz when answering to her comment by that time, but of course it wouldn't show up in the chapter itself, so...

Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! (July 11, 2015)