Chapter 1

"Good morning, honey," Maura greeted Lizzie with a sweet smile as the girl walked into the kitchen. She opened her arms and pulled Lizzie into her lap as she sat at one of the stools at the kitchen counter. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," Lizzie answered as she snuggled into Maura's arms.

But Maura saw that she was just as tired as last night when she cried herself to sleep in Jane's arms. She sighed when she thought about it.

"You're not yourself, Lizzie," Jane said to the girl they just tucked into bed, "what's the matter lately?"

Lizzie just shrugged.

"Can you tell me what you're feeling?" Jane asked softly, her hand making soft strokes on Lizzie's belly. "What are you feeling, honey?"

"I don't know," Lizzie answered as she looked up at her mother.

Maura sighed and sat down next to Jane, leaning forward to kiss Lizzie's forehead. "Is your throat still hurting?"

"No."

"Do you feel sad?"

Lizzie shrugged again. "I think so."

"Do you know how to make that better?" Jane whispered with a sweet smile.

"No." Lizzie's bottom lip quivered at her answer and Maura saw tears welling up in her light brown eyes.

Jane swallowed and continued her comforting strokes on Lizzie's stomach. "You think snuggles will help?"

Lizzie nodded and a few tears fell onto her cheeks as she sat up and climbed into Jane's lap, snuggling securely into Jane's strong arms. Jane pulled the girl tightly to her chest and kissed the top of her head. "I wish you could explain," she whispered softly, "then maybe I could help."

"I'm sorry, Mama," Lizzie said softly, her voice weak and laced with tears.

"Oh, it's not your fault." Jane smiled and rubbed Lizzie's back as she softly rocked them back and forth. "I just want you to be happy." She sighed deeply and stared at the wall, resting her chin on top of Lizzie's head that rested on her chest. "All we ever want is for you to be happy."

Lizzie didn't reply. She just nuzzled her face into Jane's chest where she cried softly. Tears of exhaustion, grief, fear… Maura wished she knew.

"You can talk to us, honey," Jane whispered, looking down at her crying daughter in her arms, "Just say whatever's on your mind. You can tell us anything you want."

Maura smiled a sad smile and nodded. "Anything, my love. Nothing is stupid or weird. We're here to listen."

"I just don't know!" Lizzie cried, shifting to hide her face and front into Jane's chest, clutching her little hands on Jane's shirt.

Maura sighed and kissed Jane's cheek. "She's exhausted," Maura whispered, softly squeezing her arm around Jane's waist.

Jane nodded. She was. She had been for a long time. Even since she got strep throat on vacation in Florida, the girl hadn't been herself. "Something's not right," Jane whispered back, not audible for the crying girl in her lap.

"We're taking her for a blood test tomorrow." Maura kept her soft strokes on Lizzie's cheek and rested her head on Jane's shoulder. "We have to rule out physical illness before we conclude anything psychological."

"You think she's sick?" Jane's hand tactically went up to Lizzie's ear, stroking her head in comfort, but really keeping her out of the conversation.

Maura shrugged. "I don't know. But ever since that flu and strep throat, she hasn't been herself. It could be Infectious Mononucleosis, but that's just speculation. It could also be something worse, but we shouldn't think like that."

Jane nodded but shook her head as she realized what Maura said. "Mono? You mean the kissing disease? She's five! How'd she get that?"

Maura chuckled. "It's called 'kissing disease' because the virus is transmitted through exchanging saliva. She could've gotten it in a lot of ways. It's very common among children, although five is a little young."

"But it's harmless, right?"

"Yes. There's no cure, but she just has to sit it out until the Epstein Barr virus leaves her system."

"So, mono's the best case scenario here."

Maura took a deep breath and looked at Jane with concern in her eyes. "Yes."

She hoped it was just a virus and that Lizzie would get over it and back to her old self soon. She missed that little sunshine bouncing around the house, being adorable and making everyone around her smile.

"I love you, my sweet girl," Jane whispered after a kiss on Lizzie's blond curls.

Maura smiled a sweet smile and rubbed Lizzie's back. "You have to go to sleep, honey. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow."

Lizzie nodded and sucked on her thumb, not moving away from Jane's arms. "You gonna stay?" she whispered, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Would you like us to stay?"

Lizzie nodded again and clung tighter to Jane's shirt. Maura smiled and wrapped her arm tighter around Jane's waist to bring them back to relax against the wall. She rested her head in the crook of Jane's neck and looked intently at Lizzie who was slowly closing her eyes. Maura kept soothingly stroking her cheek and hair, lulling the girl to sleep.

"Sleep, honey," Jane whispered softly, "the world's gonna look a whole lot different tomorrow." She rubbed Lizzie's back and Maura saw her daughter slowly drifting off. "The sun will rise again, and everything is different in the daylight. The flowers will bloom again and the birds will sing…" Lizzie sniffled and Jane wiped the last of the girl's tears.

Maura remembered how her own mother used those exact same words to comfort her when she was little, on those rare occasions she was actually home to put her daughter to bed. No matter what, there's always a new day and everything looks different in the morning.

"Tomorrow's a new day,' Jane whispered, her soft voice comforting Lizzie. "Tomorrow's a new day and it'll all be different, I promise."

Lizzie stirred in her arms and Jane realized she had to keep on talking to lull the girl to sleep. "Do you know how much we love you?" she whispered, gently rubbing Lizzie's back. "We love you so much, little girl. You're gonna feel better, I promise. Mommy and me are gonna do everything to make you feel better."

Maura shook her head and pulled herself out of her thoughts. She needed to take a blood test. They could go to the doctor but that could take weeks. She could easily take this test by herself in the lab. She knew she wasn't allowed to do so technically, but Lizzie's health was way more important than the rules of the lab where she was the boss anyway.

"Honey, I'm going to take you with me to work today and we're going to take some tests, okay?"

"Why?"

Maura smiled and brushed Lizzie's hair back. "We're just going to make sure everything's okay and nothing is wrong with your body."

She didn't even protest. Another sign that something was wrong. Maura sighed and kissed the top of Lizzie's head as she pulled the girl close in her arms. She truly hoped it was nothing terrible.

"Morning," Jane walked into the kitchen, her hair still wet from the shower. She leaned in to press her lips against Maura's in a sweet kiss. "Gorgeous." She smiled and moved to kiss the top of Lizzie's head. "How's my little peanut?"

"I'm not a peanut," Lizzie pouted softly.

Jane chuckled. "Glad to hear that." She walked into the kitchen to pour herself some coffee. "Are you feeling better?"

Lizzie shrugged. "I think so."

"I'm taking her for some blood tests today," Maura said while she rubbed Lizzie's back.

"Yeah," Jane whispered as she leaned against the counter and looked at her youngest daughter with a concerned look on her face, "that seems a good idea."

Maura actually had a day off to spend with the girls, but Riley could spend some hours alone while she took Lizzie with her. The girls still had summer vacation and Jane and Maura already went back to work a few days ago, but they switched off as many hours as possible so they could spend more time with their daughters and they wouldn't be home alone or with Angela all the time.

Around lunchtime, Lizzie's blood test was taken and Maura had taken her to grab some take-out for lunch to bring home to Riley, who was of course in the backyard Facetiming with Alex, the boy she met on the beach in Florida.

"Hey, honey," Maura greeted her oldest daughter while she put the food on the garden table. "We brought lunch."

"Oh, good." Riley smiled at her mother and sister before turning her attention back to the screen of her phone. "Alex, I gotta go have lunch with my mom and Liz," she said, leaning back in her chair.

Maura couldn't hear his reply, but it made Riley smile and blush, eliciting a sweet laugh from her mother. The girl was smitten, even though she hadn't admitted it yet. After a dozen goodbyes, Riley finally put her phone away and joined Maura and Lizzie at the table. "How was the blood test, Liz?" she asked her sister. "Did it hurt?"

Lizzie shrugged and swallowed a bite of her sandwich. "Just a little."

Riley smiled but her smile fell when she saw the exhaustion in her little sister. She turned to Maura next to her and whispered, "is she gonna be okay?"

Maura smiled a sad smile and looked at Lizzie on the other side of the table. "I hope so."

"I kinda miss the old Lizzie." Riley sighed and relaxed against the back of her chair.

"We all do, honey." Maura smiled while she tucked a strand of hair into Riley's ponytail. "We'll have the results in a few hours."

Riley nodded and reached over to ruffle Lizzie's blond curls. "You're gonna be fine, sis. Mommy's gonna make you all better."

Lizzie nodded and Maura could only hope Riley was right. She would do anything to make Lizzie better. Anything. "Lizzie, you're going to take a nap after you finish your lunch, okay?"

"But Mommy, you said I could stop the naps," Lizzie whined without much energy.

"Yes sweetheart, but I think you'll feel better after a nap."

"'Cause I'm so tired?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Lizzie shrugged and turned her attention back to her lunch.

It didn't take long for Lizzie to finish her sandwich and Maura didn't even wait to finish her own before taking the girl to bed. She tucked her youngest daughter in, told her quiet words of love and kissed her cheek before going back downstairs to her oldest daughter.

"What if Lizzie has mono, Mom?" Riley asked, taking a sip of her milk.

Maura sighed and sat down next to Riley, stroking her back while she walked past her. "She'll have to take a lot of rest. The younger you are, the less you'll suffer from it, so I think it won't take too long. But she's definitely up for a tough time."

"If it's mono."

"Yes, indeed."

"Could it be something worse?" Riley looked at her mother and Maura saw concern in her bright blue eyes. She found it endearing that Riley cared so much about her little sister. Even though they had only been sisters for less then a year, they were inseparable and loved each other endlessly.

Maura smiled a soothing smile and caressed Riley's cheek. "Let's just stay positive, okay? We'll get the results soon."

Riley nodded. "Anything I can do to make her feel better?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Maura smiled a loving smile and leaned forward to kiss Riley's forehead. "You're already so sweet to her." She chuckled at Riley's blush and leaned back to finish her milk. "Due to the lack of energy, she's craving a lot of physical attention. She's quite emotional and seeking for both physical and emotional comfort."

Riley's expression was blank and she stared at her mother. "Mom. I mean something you don't need a degree in psychology for."

Maura laughed at her daughter's tone that was so similar to Jane's. "Hugs, kisses, watching a movie, playing a game… Stuff like that."

"I can do that."

"I know."

Riley wore a content smile as she grabbed her buzzing phone, smiling brighter when she answered a text.

"Alex?"

Riley nodded and didn't turn her attention away from the screen of her phone.

"How is he?"

"Fine." She looked up at Maura and shifted in her chair to face her. "He's trying to visit Boston but they don't have a lot of money… So he can't pay for the trip."

"I'd be happy to help out with that," Maura offered, knowing how much Riley wanted Alex to visit Boston from Worcester.

She shook her head. "I already told him I wanted to pay half from my allowance but ehm…" she sighed and hesitated for a few moments, "that still isn't enough."

"So they really are rather short on money then?" Maura asked carefully.

"Yeah. You know the beach house they were at in Florida?"

Maura nodded.

"It's from his aunt and uncle. I mean… It's just Alex and his dad and they hadn't been on a vacation in years."

"I'm sorry, honey." Maura patted Riley's arm and saw that it hurt her daughter. "It's unfair, isn't it?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Riley looked up at Maura and she saw in her eyes that she hit the right spot. "We have so much money and he has like… nothing. Alex's dad is a middle school teacher and apparently they don't really make lot of money. His dad can barely pay for his school and even with Alex working as a pizza deliverer, they just…" Riley sighed and fumbled with her phone. "They have to try really hard to even buy clothes and food."

Maura smiled a sad smile and reached over to stroke Riley's cheek with her thumb. "I know," she whispered. "The world is so unfair sometimes."

"Yeah," Riley answered, her voice an even softer whisper, "I just wanna give him all our money but I know we can't do that."

"I'm more than happy to help them out in any way," Maura offered again.

Riley smiled at her mother. "Thanks. I'll tell him."

"You really like him, don't you?" Maura expected Riley to tell her that they were just friends, but instead Riley blushed and averted her gaze.

"Yeah," Riley whispered, smiling a shy smile. "But I don't know if he likes me too."

"Honey," Maura placed her hand on top of Riley's, silently asking her to look at her, "he's been chatting with you for hours these past few days. Guys don't do that if they don't really like someone."

"Really?" Riley's eyes sparkles and her face lit up.

Maura laughed and leaned forward to kiss her daughter's forehead while she got up from her chair. "Yes, really."

This was the first time Riley felt like this for a boy and Maura could tell she was overwhelmed and a little confused. She was usually a little uncomfortable about men. Her father abused her in terrible ways and he exposed her to another man that abused her in other, horrible ways and because of that, Riley was uncomfortable around men in general. It wasn't a big problem and she pulled through, but she would always be more comfortable around females. Which is why the crush on Alex was scaring her a little.

Maura thought about talking to her while she cleared the table, but she decided to leave it for now. Maura had the tendency to smother her a little, with all the good intentions of course, she just wanted to protect her daughter. But she knew Riley needed some time in this. She would probably need some time to figure this out for herself before her mothers pitched in with loving advice.

While Riley helped Maura clear away lunch and put the dishes in the dishwasher, Maura heard a notification on her laptop and rushed towards it, thinking it would probably be the test results from Lizzie's blood test.

Maura held her breath and shook her hands down her sides. She couldn't even open the notification. All the worst-case scenarios were racing through her mind and she desperately tried to stay positive, but she failed. Anemia. Leukemia. Asthma. Depression. Unresolved grief. She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Mom?" Riley said softly, walking up next to Maura. "What's wrong?"

Maura sighed. "The test results just came in."

"Oh…" Riley saw the anxiety on her mother's face and wrapped her skinny arms around Maura's waist. "It's gonna be okay," she said softly while she squeezed Maura's side, resting her head sweetly against Maura's upper arm. "You said it yourself."

Maura smiled and felt tears burning in her eyes as she wrapped her own arms around her oldest daughter. "When did we get to the point where you have to comfort me, huh?" she whispered, looking down at the girl that snuggled into her side.

Riley laughed. "When did we get to the point where you sound like Ma?"

"She taught me well." Maura smirked and kissed the top of Riley's head.

"Open it, Mom," Riley whispered. "It'll be okay."

Maura smiled and moved her shaking hands to the touchpad of her laptop, clicking twice to open the notification. She scanned the results with her eyes and threw her head back in relief.

"What? What?" Riley searched for an explanation herself, but didn't understand the complication terms. "Epst… Epstein Barr? What's that?"

"Mono." Maura smiled and kissed Riley's forehead, feeling like she could finally breathe again. Nothing was truly wrong with her little girl. She caught bad virus and would be out of it for a few more weeks, possibly months, but the virus was rather harmless.

Riley sighed in relief as well and smiled up at her mother. "That's good, isn't it? She'll be better soon?"

"Well, not soon… It's a recent infection. But she'll be better."

Riley nodded and didn't break the embrace, relishing in the physical love for a few more moments. "It really could've been bad, couldn't it?"

Maura sighed and contemplated what she should tell Riley. "She recently got some unexplainable bruises. I was afraid of childhood leukemia."

"Mom, that's cancer."

"Yes," Maura turned her head and brushed Riley's hair back, looking into bright blue eyes. "But that's not the case. The results would be through the roof if it were."

Riley nodded and Maura saw great relief in the girl. She pulled her close and wrapped both her arms tightly around her. "She's going to be okay. Before we know it, she'll be back to the old Lizzie again."

Riley tried to pull away but Maura held on, kissing the side of Riley's head. "I love you, sweetheart," she whispered. "I'm proud of you."

Riley chuckled and rested her head against Maura's shoulder. "For what?"

"For being strong." Maura smiled as she pulled back and looked into light blue eyes, brushing Riley's brown hair back. "You've grown so much."

"No way, I'm ridiculously short. I'm the shortest in my class and the soccer team!"

Maura laughed and kissed Riley's forehead. "You know very well what I mean, young lady."

Riley chuckled and dodged a playful tickle from her mother. "Yeah I know."

"I'm going to take you shopping this week, Riley," Maura said while she closed her laptop and grab her phone to inform Jane on the latest news.

"Shopping? Why?"

"Your shoes are worn out and you need new shorts."

Riley sighed but she nodded. Riley, in sharp contrast to Lizzie, liked to go shopping. Lizzie whined and didn't want to try on anything, but Riley rather enjoyed it as long as they didn't go to fancy boutiques.

Maura smiled and dialed her wife's number. The phone rang a few times and went to voicemail, which probably meant Jane was in interrogation. Maura texted her to give her a call when she was ready, but Jane didn't call her back.

She waited a few hours and called her several times, but she didn't pick up. She woke Lizzie from her nap and settled her in front of the TV after she explained what was wrong with her. The girl was very disappointed to hear she would be very tired for at least the next month and Maura had to comfort her through the entire movie.

Eventually, she got worried and decided to call the homicide department at BPD. Jane would never let this much time pass without calling her back, especially if she knew Lizzie's test results would come in. A receptionist picked up and put her through to sergeant Korsak.

"Hello, sergeant," Maura greeted him, standing up from the couch to talk a bit more private, "I've been trying to reach Jane, but she's not answering."

"You haven't heard?" he asked, sounding surprised.

Maura immediately felt her throat closing up in fear at Korsak's concerned tone. "No, I haven't."

"She's at the hospital."

"What?"

"Nothing big, just a fractured wrist when she tackled a suspect. She should be back soon."

Maura sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Tackling a suspect?"

"Yeah. You know Jane, she doesn't let anyone get away."

"Yes," Maura closed her eyes and felt anger burning in her chest, "I know Jane."