Disclaimer: I own nothing.

––

Rain had poured down onto the earth the previous night, leaving a damp blanket over the grass and the street, and the sun spent the majority of the morning hidden behind gray clouds. The sky was a darker hue of blue, shadows were rarely cast, and there was no massive crowd tarrying over the small stone. There were no fresh flowers, no weeping mourners, no condolences to be given. Not for him.

Carol stood by her brother, gazing down at the headstone, not a word, ill or kind, uttered. Caesar wore sunglasses, though they weren't necessary. The sun was playing peek-a-boo, and he had no red eyes to hide. The pair said nothing, simply remained there, and Carol couldn't begin to express what she'd been feeling since the warden called and let her know the sniper had been kill in a fight in the yard.

Relief. The man who had taken her son and his father cruelly, prematurely from the world was dead. He couldn't escape from prison and try to kill her daughters and Daryl. He couldn't haunt her with his shadow. He would never touch her or another person she loved ever again. He had gotten his. He was dead. She could press play again, and she could breathe.

Confusion. She and the guards had yet to apprehend the man who had murdered the sniper. The fight broke out among the entire group outside that day, and they had to call in everyone to seize the prisoners, and it was only when they'd restrained the bulk of the group did they see someone had been injured. By that time, he had bleed to death on the asphalt, and the doer couldn't be found. Many of the men surrounding the sniper had his blood on them, but none of them would confess to the deed. The cameras had also been taken offline prior to the fight. That meant it was either an inside job, or someone had been planning this for a while now and managed to get a hacker to shut the system down before riling up the prisoners. The investigation, to say the least, was still ongoing.

Anger. She wanted him to spent the rest of his days rotting in a cell. She wanted him to know he hadn't won. She wanted him to wake up each morning knowing she and her daughter were fine, and he couldn't touch them. He was to suffer as she had suffered the past twelve years without her daughter, without her son, but someone had put a hit out on him, or he simply was caught up in the middle of someone else's conflict and was gone. He was gone like Sam was gone, and he didn't get to endure the hell she had. He didn't have to wake up every morning in that small cell and be forced to think it all over anymore. He was just dead, and that was it. Twelve years of work, two funerals, endless mourning, two months worth of building the airtight case that put him away, and that was it. That was it!

Empty. A new level of hollow. The man who had caused her so much agony, the man who had taken everything she ever created and loved since the second she first felt them away from her, the man who stalked her and hunted her, was no longer in this world. The man who poked and prodded her when she'd caught him, the man who desperately wanted to get inside of her and shatter her, had had his throat slit open in a prison yard. Her mortal enemy was dead and now buried. The biggest threat to her life, to Sophia's life, to Daryl's life, to Caesar's had gone into that final good night, never to be heard from again. His power, his hold on her, whatever was left of it, had vanished.

Or had it? He was dead and buried, yet there she was looking down on him at his grave, and she felt nothing. All of the emotions that had coursed through her after the news had been delivered had been fleeting, and nothing remained. All of the elation and consolation she thought she'd feel should he be killed was nowhere in sight. Only the hollow ringing of a bittersweet victory lingered. Victory? Was this even a victory? She wasn't sure she knew what that would mean anymore.

Either way, it was over. Ed Peletier was dead. She was liberated from his shadow, as were her daughter, Daryl, Caesar and anyone else who he might have used to get to her. The list of untold potentials were free.

The funeral had been short. There wasn't anyone who'd want to say a gentle word to this man, so it didn't matter. After all there were no words to summarize such a man. Nothing more need be said, the big bad sniper was dead.

Caesar looked at his sister, who hadn't moved for a good half hour, and he decided against speaking to her. Someone who played a massive part in her life was dead, and she needed to find a way to come to terms with that. He would speak to her later. Now was for her thoughts, and he didn't want to intervene.

"I'll take the girls home with me. Just...call when you're ready." He sauntered over to where Andrea and his girls were with Carol's girls and Daryl. "Let's give her some time and space. She needs it."

"I'll stay," Daryl imparted, his eyes glued to the woman who could double as a statue.

"You sure?" Andrea shuffled her feet to restart the flow of blood, trying to shake off the numbness. "I can stay."

"Nah, you got the baby, and the girls should be with you guys."

"Call us if she doesn't move before nightfall, okay?" Caesar drew Keira and Mika toward the car gently by their hands.

Daryl nodded and stayed by the tree he'd been leaning against. "Sophia, go with them, get some food in you."

"But Dad—"

"No buts."

"She's my mom!" Sophia argued. "She needs both of us, Dad."

"No, she needs to be alone for now. When she needs us, I'll come and get you myself, all right?" He locked eyes with his daughter. "Go on."

"You'd better call."

"I will."

She caught up to her aunt and uncle, looking back once at her parents, and Caesar eased her toward the backseat, assuring her it'd be okay, and she'd be home by tonight. She wasn't so sure, but she climbed into the car with her cousin and Mika, watching her parents until they fell out of sight.

––

The day melted into night, Carol had yet to move, and Daryl paced the tree to keep his limbs from falling asleep on him. He was concerned with how she hadn't moved or spoken, and he wanted to approach her, but he didn't know how. He didn't know what to say. They had only just fought about his loving her and her inability to talk about her feelings—which was pretty damn comical considering that was his part to play—and now she was standing over the grave of the son of a bitch who murdered her child and his father. Of all the scenarios he'd played out in his head, this one sure as hell wasn't on the list.

It was nine 'o clock, Daryl slipped his phone back in his pocket and crept over to her, but when he closed the space, he found she wasn't standing there anymore. She was sitting on the ground, legs crossed, hands in her lap, rocking herself. He dropped beside her, the still moist grass seeping through his jeans, and he dropped his hands in his lap, keeping the quiet.

"I used to dream about this day," she confided in a hushed tone. "I would dream I'd get the call, and he'd have died in some horrid way. It always made me feel better. It made me want to...celebrate—the thought of him being dead. But now...here we are, and I don't feel better. I don't feel like celebrating or spitting on his grave."

"Lori probably will spit on his grave. Maybe throw some confetti."

Her lips twitched as if she wanted to smile, but it didn't quite appear. "I think Shane may come out to dance on it."

"Wouldn't put it past him." He met her eyes. "You all right, Carol?"

"I don't know." She drew in a deep breath and released it. "Should I know?"

"I—It's been a long day, and you've gone through...somethin' big, so it's okay if you don't know."

"They don't know who killed him, or why. He didn't interact with the other inmates. I doubt anyone knew why he was there. So who killed him? Why? Was it a hit? Was it...an accident? Did he get caught up in someone else's fight?" Tears began to fill her eyes. "I don't get it. I did—we worked so hard, and it boiled down to this?" She thrust her hand out toward his grave. "This was what it amounted to?"

He frowned. "What were you expecting?"

"Him to endure!" she snapped. "Like I had to! Like Rick before he was killed! Like Lori and Shane and Carl! Like Caesar! He got off easy, but we—we still have to go through it. Every day, and he got out easy. He..." Her voice broke, and she couldn't continue.

He wrapped his arm around her and tenderly tugged her closer to him. He embraced her and buried his face in her soft hair, allowing her to cry her anger out, and he longed to have the right words to say to her. He didn't have a clue how to sooth her. He didn't have an inkling on how he could brighten her spirits and let her see that only good could from this. He wasn't the guy who said things. He was more of an action guy, but that wouldn't do here. And all he could say to her were two words followed by three little words.

"I'm here," he murmured into her hair. "I love you."

Her fingers grasped his shirt tighter, and her sobs only magnified, but they were tears she needed to shed, anger she needed to bleed out of her, and this was the only form it was taking. It was over. The sniper had lost. She had to claim the bittersweet victory the world handed her. It was over.

– – –

"Just keep 'em through the night," Daryl spoke to Caesar, pacing the length of Carol's bedroom while she bathed in her bathroom. "Tell the girls we'll see 'em bright and early tomorrow morning. Carol just needs some time, but we'll be there."

"How does she seem?"

"Shaken. Lost. I don't fully know if she knows what's going on with her."

"I can't blame her. Given all he's taken from her and how...how much she worked to make him pay on her terms... I can't imagine what she's going through right now, so I need you to take care of her. I know you love her, probably as much as I love my wife, so I know you can do it. I trust you to do it. Be there for her, keep her sober, do what you have to do to help her."

"Of course."

"Then I'll see you in the morning."

"Tell the girls we love 'em and good night."

"Yep. Bye."

Daryl set his phone on the dresser, powering it down, and he turned to notice Carol in the doorway, hair damp, wrapped in her robe. He offered her a smile, which she failed to return, and she climbed onto the bed, pulling her legs up and covering herself in the blankets.

"Feel...er, clean?" He knew it wasn't wise to ask if she felt better, but clean? Seriously? Dumbass.

"Yes." She snuffled and pushed silver curls from her forehead. "Was that Caesar?"

"Yeah. He just wanted to check in."

"Is he bringing the girls home?"

"Not tonight."

"Why not?"

"I thought it'd be best if we gave you some space."

"You're still here." She hugged her legs closer, resting her chin on the soft silk of her robe. It was a gift found in a care package from Rosita after she'd been shot. Black cherry, along with everything else in the bag. She had given the bath bomb to Sophia, the lotion to Mika and the massage oil to Andrea on the condition she never tell Carol what she—and her husband—used it for. Or the events following the rub down. She kept the robe and the nightclothes that came with it. Along with lingerie she hadn't even looked at, let alone worn. Some care package, but it was kind of Rosita. Expensive too, but they had to pay her something for her illegal hacking work.

"I—I can go, if you want. I just wanted to make sure you were settled in."

"I wasn't trying to make you leave. I was only pointing out a fact."

"Oh." He sat in front of her on the bed. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not right now. I just want to lie down for a bit."

He nodded. "Michonne said she didn't want to see you back in the office for a while, so you don't have to worry about work."

"I guess that's good news."

"It is good news."

She pulled the covers back from the vacant space beside her. "C'mon, I need some rest."

"You—want me here?"

"I don't want to be alone."

He shifted to be beside her, slipping under the covers, and she coiled up against him. He could smell her shampoo and her soap, and he snaked an arm around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and brought her hand to rest over his breast, feeling his heart underneath. She was able to drift off, his fingers delicately brushing through her hair, and she smiled as the world faded out.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, but when her stomach began to twist and pang, she knew sleeping further wasn't an option. She slipped out of bed and dressed in sweatpants and tank top, shrugging on a knitted cardigan just to have layers and warmth. She staggered out of the room and down the stairs, preparing her first meal of the day.

About five minutes into making grilled cheese and hot chocolate, Daryl appeared behind her. He had woken up when he rolled over and she wasn't there. He ran down the stairs to check on her when she didn't call back to him from the bathroom. He was sure he might have twisted his ankle, but it was worth it at the sight of her standing there all bundled up in cardigan with those silver curls messy, her head cocked curiously to the side at him.

"Evening and/or morning," she said.

"Same to you." He looked over the stove. "Grilled cheese? And milk?"

"For hot chocolate. It's too early or late for coffee, and we don't have any tea, but we have a lot of hot chocolate. And grilled cheese is fast. I'm starving, so...I just went with it."

"Here, let me." He claimed the spatula. "I made plenty of these for the girls."

"I can cook for myself."

"I know. I just wanna do it. Sit down and drink your coco."

She chuckled. "Do you want a cup?"

"Yeah, sure."

She prepared the cups of hot chocolate, sitting at the island with her feet propped up on the bar of the stool beside her, and she cupped the mug in both hands, blowing on the milky brown liquid to cool it. She observed Daryl as he cooked for her, adding things to his. She didn't catch exactly what, but there was no way it could be so stuffed with only cheese. She caught a whiff of it too, and it was a bacon-y, onion scent. She wasn't at all stunned to know Daryl Dixon couldn't eat a simple grilled cheese. Although he'd been with her at the cemetery all day, and they both hadn't eaten. He likely needed more than bread and cheese.

She sipped her hot chocolate, he set two plates down on the island and sat beside her, drinking his cooled chocolate drink, and he bit into his sandwich, and she smiled at the massive whole missing, seeing bits of what he'd put inside. She leaned over and wiped away cheese that caught on his cheek.

"Sorry." He rubbed a hand over his mouth.

"It's okay. I had a son, remember? He was messier than you."

"Was he?"

She nodded. "He loves to play with his food. Until he was six, I had to prepare an outfit for him to change into after meals. I don't know who he got it from, but he loved to play with his food and make such a mess." She blamed Caesar and the little boy from The Christmas Story.

"Kids are messy," he stated. "Gotta teach 'em not to be."

"Sam grew out of it somewhat. He had his days." She turned slightly toward her plate, but she didn't eat.

Daryl noticed and touched her knee to get her attention. "You okay?"

She rubbed her thumb over the design on her cup, avoiding his eyes for a moment then she raised her head. "I love you."

His brows shot up, not predicting that to come out of her mouth.

She smiled to herself. It felt good to say. It felt right. She set her hand over his on her knee and squeezed it. "I love you."

"I'm a criminal," he mused.

She laughed. "Daryl."

"Sorry." He hoped off the stool and caught her hips, holding her place. "I love you too." He kissed her, and she pushed him back. "What?"

"You taste like food, and it reminded me that I'm starving." He chuckled, and she stroked his cheek. "I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. I've felt it for a long time now, but... I don't know. I couldn't say it until now."

"It's okay." He returned to his seat. "Why don't we finish this then go back upstairs? We can watch a movie."

"Yeah, that'd be great."

––

A movie played on the TV, Carol laced her fingers through Daryl's, the bowl of popcorn untouched on the nightstand, and she checked the time. It was four in the morning, and she wondered how on earth she was going to sleep tonight. After the other night with Daryl and now this, she needed to regulate her sleeping habits.

"You said it was the heat of the moment, but we know that was a lie," Carol murmured. "So how long had you wanted to tell me you love me?"

He flushed. "A while now."

"Daryl."

"I didn't keep track," he lied, "but it's been a couple months now."

"Months?" She gazed at him. "Why did you wait so long?"

"It just didn't seem like the right time. I wanted to wait, see if I could get a read on how you feel, then the other night I uh, couldn't keep it in anymore."

She smiled. "I have another question."

"Yeah?" He helped himself to the popcorn, shuffling in a handful.

"Seeing how it's just us tonight—er, this morning, why don't we break in my bed? We've talked about it for a while now." She smirked at him. "What do you say? Wanna fool around?"

He looked over her bed. "It's a little odd."

She giggled. "What?"

"Used to it bein' my bed is all, and the condoms are downstairs too."

"Because it's always in your room." She pursed her lips.

"Either way one of us would have to down there."

"That's true."

"So, just wanna go down there together?"

"I guess my bed will always be for sleeping."

"You don't sound too sad about that." He pulled her closer as they headed downstairs.

"No, I guess I don't." She wrapped her arms around his neck once inside his bedroom. "I love you, Daryl."

"I love you."

– – –

"Hey." Daryl grinned at his brother, sitting down across from him. "Sorry I'm a little late."

"I'm sure you had your reasons. Like sleepin' with a damn hanger in your mouth." He smirked at his baby brother. "Got another kid on the way, or what?"

He fought to keep from smiling even wider. "No, nah, it ain't that."

"Then what is it?"

"Uh, it's just good between me and Carol." He laughed again. "She uh, told me she loved me."

"I'm impressed. You two finally got that far? I thought I'd be dead before that happened."

Daryl's smile quickly faded into a frowning line. "Don't say that."

"What? I ain't gettin' any younger, and it took y'all this long just to say it to each other! We all already knew you loved each other, but only now have you said the damn words. My grays are more reliable than y'all two."

He shook his head. "It's a big step, all right? After love comes engagement and all that. We... Just be happy for me, all right? It's a big step, and we took it. Both of us."

"I'm happy for you. Let's just hope this engagement comes before the kids graduate college."

"Ha ha."

"I'm serious." Daryl chewed on his bottom lip, and Merle narrowed his eyes. "Wait a minute. You ain't...?"

He stammered. "I—I don't know. I—I mean there isn't anybody else, you know? And Rosita and I passed this jewlery store. We just stepped in for a minute. We—It wasn't serious."

"You went ring shoppin'?"

"Browsing," he corrected. "Deanna's birthday's coming up, and I don't know what to get her, and Rosita suggested earrings. That's why we were there. I glanced at some of the rings, and...Rosita jumped to conclusions. We looked over a few, and I—welll, there was one ring Carol would like. It'd look nice on her too."

"Did you buy it?"

He picked at his thumbnail under the table. "No, just the earrings."

"Why didn't you?"

"It wasn't an easy I love you to get out of her, and I don't think proposing is the next logical step for us. Eventually, maybe I'll go back and buy the ring, but not now. It's too soon, and we haven't talked about it."

"True, it's only been a year."

"Exactly."

"But you just said there wasn't anybody else."

Daryl slouched and swallowed. "It's too soon."

"Uh-huh."

"I didn't come here to talk to you about this." He scratched the back of his head and leaned forward. "I wanna know why you took the fall, and none of that bullshit about—about blood. Or you takin' those guys out. Take all of that away, and tell me why."

"What?"

"Why did you take the fall for this?" he muttered. "I want to know. It's been eating me for a while now. I can't leave until you tell me exactly why."

"You're an idiot. Go buy the ring and propose to her. She'll say yes."

"Damn it, Merle, just tell me."

"Why? It's sorted. Let it go."

"No!" He saw the glare one of the officers gave him and lowered his voice. "No, I need you to tell me. You owe me that much, so just tell me."

"Owe you? Oh-hoo, I owe you, do I? What the hell do you think this place is? A spa? A bed and breakfast? Huh?" Merle gruffed. "But I owe you?"

He sighed. "Not like that. I need to know. I can't marry anybody and move on with my life if I don't know. Please, Merle, it's the last favor I'll ask from you."

He dropped his head and shook it. "Can't let this go, huh?"

"No, I can't."

"I did this, because not only do I deserve to be here, but because I owed you. After all the shit I put you through, I had to do this."

"What?" Daryl gaped. "Merle, you didn't—"

"Listen to me. I didn't lay a hand on you, but I did leave you with that fucker! I didn't protect you, and when I finally came to get you, we only ended up in the street. We weren't livin', just barely survivin'. I was trying to look after you, but all I did was screw up time and again until that guy saw somethin' in you." He shook his head. "He did more for you than I did."

"Merle, that ain't true."

"It is. And after all my fucks up, you had a little girl, found her mom and had somethin'...real. I couldn't let you destroy that, so I let it fall on me. You didn't do nothing anyway. You didn't deserve to be in here, missin' Sophia's entire life. She don't need me as much as she needs you and Carol."

He shifted in his seat. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anythin'. It happened. Move on. Let it go. You got so much to look forward to. Proposin' and shit."

"I never said—"

"Haven't you wasted enough time?" Merle rudely cut in. "Sniper stole time from her, time from you, nearly killed you and your relationship, so stop wastin' time, all right? She's gonna say yes."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"It's my job. Now forget I said any of this and tell me when the hell I'm gonna see my niece next."

"Soon. I think next week. We got the birthday party for Carol's other mom, but—" Daryl cut off. "Wait, how di—how did you know the sniper almost killed our relationship?"

After they'd gone downstairs and "fooled around" for a time, Carol had told him her issues with the sniper's murder. He already worked it out for himself, but he listened to what she had to say anyway. Clearly she needed to verbalize it. She spoke for a good thirty minutes on why it bothered her. To be honest, he would have listened to her for days if it would have made her feel better. It was personal, and no one could guess it. You'd have to know Carol, or have overheard it, which Merle couldn't do seeing that he was in prison and unable to have popped up in the hallway. How did Merle know Carol felt she couldn't say I love you partly because it'd been years since she'd last said it in this way and mostly because she feared the sniper would take him away somehow? She'd said it to Rick, not in the same way, but the sniper still kill him. She knew now it was silly to fear, but he understood. The sniper had taken so much from her, and bars and guards didn't seem enough to keep him from taking the rest.

He held a hand up. "Don't tell Carol."

"Why not?" Daryl commanded.

"She came to see me. It was months ago, without the girls, and she told me."

– – –

"So this is how the great Detective Williams abuses her power?" Merle mused as he approached the small woman. "Bring me any coffee? A donut perhaps?"

"Coffee only." She slid it over to him. "It's a birthday gift."

"I thank you." He savored the delicious dark substance. "You just come here to for this?"

"No. I came to have a word with you." She sat across from him. "I—I had a scare last week."

"A scare? What kind are you talkin'? Pregnancy? Death?"

"I don't know why I'm talking to you of all people about this." She shook her head, almost laughing at herself. "You won't take me seriously. It's a waste of breath."

"You came to me for a reason, what's the reason?"

"You're the best person I know who can keep a secret."

"That I am." He tipped his cup at her. "So, you're expectin'? Dyin'? Leavin' the force?"

She rolled her eyes and silently admonished herself for selecting Merle of all people. She couldn't confide in her mother. She'd have a stroke and call their priest. She couldn't tell her brother for the same reason, only he'd try to punch the lights out of the problem. And Andrea was too pregnant to hear her problems. She could barely roll over, let alone give Carol advise on her life. She couldn't breathe a word of this to Daryl. He was part of the problem. Well, not problem. Problem wasn't the correct word here, but... at the same time it was.

"Carol?"

"I love your brother," she blurted. "I'm in love with him, and I have been for a couple days now." It dawned on her when they were making dinner for the girls. She couldn't stop thinking about it. She wanted to, as it crept up on her at all hours, despite what she was doing. It was intrusive. Yet she couldn't lie and say it wasn't...amazing. Amazing and intrusive and haunting her every waking moment. She didn't understand how people did this. Loved like more than once in their lives... It would be maddening, but perhaps it wasn't something that happened more than once. Perhaps this kind of love...their love...was rare.

His brows met his hairline, it seemed, and he grinned. "Well, congratulations."

"I wouldn't be congratulating me."

"You haven't told him?"

"I—I can't tell him." She averted her eyes and gripped her cup of tea.

"And why can't you?"

"Aside from only ever telling one other guy I'm in love with him, I have this irrational fear that if I tell him I love him...somehow the sniper will," tears reflected in her eyes, "take him from me."

Merle didn't taste the coffee he'd swallowed. "The sniper..."

"I know he's locked away, but he's always managed to take the things I love away. I don't know if I can ever tell Daryl how I feel without having a horrendous panic attack. I don't know if I can even explain it to him." She covered her face with her hand. "I don't know what I expect you to do. You're just the only person I trust to not tell Daryl or...do something embarrassing and force me to rip the band-aid off."

"He ain't gonna hurt you no more."

"I know, but at the same time I don't." She blinked hard to keep the tears from falling. "The first time I went out with Sophia, a car backfired, and my mind jumped to the sniper killing her. She was bent over, tying her shoes, and I thought the worst. I couldn't breath, and—and I couldn't begin to understand the emotions that overwhelmed me, before I realized she was all right."

"You can't let him have this much power over you."

"I wish "letting" him was the problem. It's like a fact. When I'm happy and have someone I love dearly around, he has to...obliterate them. Every second I am happy, he...demands I feel twice as much anguish and guilt. I always expect it, and it comes. It always comes. I just don't know the form it'll take." She ran a hand through her hair. "He'd kill random people in the street to keep me from enjoying a weekend or holiday. It was in the brief window before the Governor recruited him but before Sophia. He'd leave me bread crumbs, and I'd try to follow them, but I was wasted all the time, and he left no traces behind."

"He can't touch you from in here. If he could, he would've had y'all killed already."

"How do I know he hasn't already made plans to have us killed in the future? That he won't at some point call up some random hit man and say the word? I can't imagine he'd let me go without a fight."

Merle puckered his lips and nodded. "All right."

"What?"

"Go home, Carol. Get some sleep and try not to think about him. It'll sort itself out."

"That's your advise? Sleep?" She supposed it was better than therapy and meds. "I do need to sleep. It's been a few days."

"Days?" he exclaimed. "And you drove down here?"

"A friend brought me."

"What friend?"

"Lerner. She had to meet with a prisoner here, and I was hoping you could help me."

"And I will, just give me some time. Now get out of here."

She smiled weakly. "Okay, Merle. It was nice to talk about this. I can't tell Daryl or Sophia or my brother. They'd...freak out on me, but thank you for listening to me."

"I doubt you'll remember this once you've slept."

She flashed a dazing, genuine smile and rose out of her seat. "Goodbye, Merle. I'll bring the girls next time." She set a hand over his. "Happy birthday. Daryl should stop by with Sophia later."

He nodded. "Take care of 'em, okay?"

"Always." She strolled out of the room then turned on her heel and grabbed her tea. "Now I'm leaving."

"Wait." He noticed the string hanging out of her cup. "That ain't coffee."

"It's tea." She sipped it.

"You never answered me on the scare."

She smiled shyly. "It was a bit of both, but only one is a problem." She tapped her finger on the cup. "You know which."

He nodded. "Get some sleep, Carol."

"Goodbye." She waved once and sauntered out of the room, nodding to the guard. She glanced back at Merle and grasped her locket, exhaling and smiling to herself. She could handle this. It wasn't as though she had to tell him tomorrow. They weren't there yet, and there was time to work through this. There was, and Merle was right. The sniper himself couldn't harm her, and unless it was him, he didn't get off on it. It was all right. It was all right! It had to be...

Merle finished his coffee and sucked air in through his teeth. He had a few favors to call in and a woman to manipulate. Anything for blood, or future blood, he added. She was still able, and clearly it was a possibility. He couldn't keep his brother safe, but he would always keep his niece and her possible future siblings safe, so he had calls to make.

––

"You?" Daryl's jaw hit the floor. "No, no. There's no way."

He held a finger to his lips.

"You—you put the hit out for him?" Daryl hissed through his teeth. "You?"

"I know a lot of people, little brother."

Daryl buried his face in his palms. "Shit."

"We do what we gotta do for family, and Carol needed this. He got what was comin' to him."

"She wanted him to rot in prison, not be shanked in the yard," he growled. "She brought him to justice on her terms and then you just turn around and—and call in a hit? What the hell, Merle?"

"Did her a favor. One day, she'll see that."

Daryl snorted. "Sure, I bet."

"The point is she only told you she loved you once he was dead, right?" Merle ignored the tone in his brother's voice. "Saved your relationship, didn't it? I did my part, now it's your turn. Propose."

"I ain't ready for that, and neither is she. Stop with the proposal shit."

"You brought it up, not me."

"You're annoyin' as all hell."

"It's my job." He grinned. "Just do us a favor and marry this woman. I like her. She's...a bit of a mess, but who the hell ain't? At least she can relate to our shit. You know you have cute kids, and y'all already live together. What's a piece of paper and metal gonna change?"

"It could change everything!"

"Okay, she had a pregnancy scared. If it had been real, would you have married her?"

"What?"

"Would you have married her if she was havin' your second kid?"

"I—I don't know. I mean, I love her enough to, but it'd be up to her. She—We've never talked about marriage, and I don't know if she'd even want that. She hates weddings."

"Give her a reason to love 'em."

Daryl glared. "You don't understand. Drop it."

"Daryl, the woman came to me for help. She wanted to tell you she loved you, and she came to me—me of all her family and friends—to help her. She was sleep deprived and stressed out, but still. If she won't say yes to you then the sky is whiskey and the ocean is marshmallows."

That was true. He could only recall one time Carol hadn't been able to sleep, and it'd been bad. She was about one step away from hallucinating, but he made her dinner and some warm milk. He wrapped her in about a million blankets, and the girls and he stayed with her all night. She slept for nearly an entire day. She was so adorable the next morning, albeit disoriented and starving, but adorable.

"Enough with the lovey-dovey smile. Get out of here." Merle lightly kicked his leg as any other form of physical contact would catch the guard's attention. "Bring my damn nieces next time, all right?"

"Okay." He rose out of his seat. "Thanks, Merle."

He slapped him on the back hard enough to leave a mark. "You're welcome, Daryl."

– – –

"What are you talking about?" Carol unloaded groceries, leaving the bag filled with party supplies at the end of the island. "I'm picking up the cake at noon, and Mom's cooking. My mom, Gloria. You guys are flying in at six in the morning, so there'll be plenty of time to have brunch."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just stressed. It's been a crazy week."

"I know. It has been for me too. Just relax, Spence. Leave it to me and Aiden. All you have to do is catch a flight, and don't you dare forget my niece, okay?"

"I'd have to be blind."

"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"All right. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up and greeted Daryl with a smile. "You're home early."

"I ducked out early. It wasn't an eventful day." He helped her with the groceries. "I wanted to be here when you got home anyway."

"Is today a special occasion?" She tensed, holding a box of oatmeal. "Because if it is, I have no idea what is it."

He laughed. "No, it's just Tuesday."

"Oh, thank God." She exhaled and set the oatmeal in the cabinet. "I normally know anniversaries and birthdays, but Spencer keeps calling to make sure everything is in place. My head only has space for Mom's birthday."

"I can lend you a hand with that." He abandoned the popcorn to encircle her in his arms, and she kissed him eagerly, her arms at his waist. "We got time before we have to pick up the girls."

"Tempting, but I really do only have room for the party. I still have to wrap our gifts and make sure Mom has room for all of us. We have to pick up a couple chairs already, so I need to do that tonight." She kissed him once more. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right. You want this to be special."

"It's the first birthday I get to spend with her, and I know there'll be plenty more, but it's our first together, you know? I want make up for all the birthdays I missed, like she did with me. I want it to be special." He nodded. "I'll make it up to you."

"Just have dinner with me on Friday. Deanna leaves then, and it'll be just the two of us. I got Andrea to babysit for us. All you have to do is say yes."

"Yes."

He kissed her and returned to the box of popcorn. "Are you takin' the girls to see Merle on Thursday?"

"Yeah. Mom wants to meet him, and I tried to talk her out of it, but she wants to meet everyone in my life, even my child's uncle. I hope he behaves."

"Yeah, me too." He lost his grip on the pack of noodles and dropped down to pick them up.

"You okay?" She bent down. "Is it your arm?"

"It's fine. Just slipped out of my hand."

"Okay." She lowered her head and groaned at the sight. "When was the last time anyone cleaned under the fridge?"

"2001?"

"I think something's moving under there." Her nose crinkled. "Great. Now I have more to clean tonight."

"More to clean? Carol, this place is immaculate." He straightened. "It looks like we're tryin' to sell it."

"You're right, but that needed to be cleaned...about oh, fourteen years ago."

He chuckled. "I'll get the mop."

"I'll get the bucket."

"After we put the groceries away, right?"

She chuckled, frazzled by her packed to-do list. "Yes." She moved behind him to put the bread away.

He set his hand over the bulge in his pocket, glancing over his shoulder at her, and he was relieved he'd managed to tuck it back in his pocket before she noticed when he "dropped" the noodles. The last thing she needed to know was why he hadn't gone in to work today. These type of things involved a certain degree of surprise.

––

Carol and her brothers—all three of them—arrived at Gloria's to help set up. It wasn't going to be a big party, just dinner and cake and ice cream and gifts. Reg was showing Deanna the city with Leslie, Sophia and Mika right now, and Daryl was going to pick them up at four to bring them over. Carol had to prematurely cut out to pick up the cake, but that wasn't for a while now. She set the alarm on her phone and asked her mom to remind her. After barely escaping brunch with them, she didn't want to risk anything going wrong.

"The last time we hung a birthday banner?" Caesar came off the stool.

"We were barely teenagers." Carol tied a ribbon around the handle to the gift bag. It was from Sophia and Mika both. A lovely set of perfumes and candles with a book of poetry. Reg had given them the idea. "I think it was your fourteenth birthday, right? Mom decked this place out with banners and confetti and those annoy little plastic whistles."

"You nearly shoved it down my throat."

"You kept blowing it." She signed the card and set it inside, rising. "Right in my ear, if you'll recall."

"Yeah, yeah."

Carol placed her gift beside the others and moistened her lip. She remembered that birthday very well. Mom had wanted to make it special. It was the first birthday without Karen. It never felt right to celebrate that year, but they had to. It was Caesar's fourteenth birthday, and it wouldn't go by unnoticed. Mom refused to let that happen, and Carol helped her out. So did a couple of her relatives. They wanted to make it a good birthday, and in some ways it was the best, but in some ways it was the worst too. It wasn't the cake or gifts or company; it was the glaring reminder that yet another year had passed without Karen here. He put on a show for Mom's sake, but at the end of the day the cake had no taste and the gifts weren't the one he truly wanted. It's difficult to move on and celebrate after something like that happens. They tried, and it was enough for that year.

"For Carol's eighth birthday," Spencer recounted to Caesar, "Dad rented a bounce house. It was huge, and we all wanted to jump in it, but Mom wanted to wait until everyone arrived. Well, Carol couldn't wait, so she crept inside."

"Sounds like her," he muttered.

"Shut up." Carol nudged him on her way to the kitchen. "Hey, Mom, how are you in here?"

"I'm fine." She offered Carol a taste of dinner. "What do you think?"

"It's delicious." She smiled. "Thanks for cooking all this. It means a lot."

"Were it not for the Monroes, I never would have gotten you," Gloria stated, "so I'm happy to help. Besides it's not every day my entire family willingly comes over for dinner. It's like pulling teeth to get you all here, so of course I jumped on the opportunity to get you all here."

Carol laughed. "Thanks, Mom." She hugged her from behind and checked her watch. "I have a cake to pick up. Good luck with the boys."

"Please, I'll whip them into shape."

"Don't I know it?" She gathered her keys and purse, heading to the front door, and she heard Aiden call to her. "What?"

"I'll ride with you."

"You sure? Mom might need a hand here."

"I checked with Caesar and Gloria and Spence. They'll be fine. Plus, Andrea and the girls will be here soon. Keira picked out a lot of balloons, and Caesar called dibs on blowing them up." He leaned toward her. "You know what he's gonna be doing, right?"

"Him and Spence, you mean?" She nodded. "We might have to pick up a second helium tank."

"Then I shall carry it." He smirked. "You know that cake's gonna weight more anyway, and I'd rather man the tank."

She rolled her eyes but wore a smile. "Okay."

"Hey." Caesar caught them on their way out. "Be careful out there, all right?"

They departed the house once he was satisfied they'd return in one piece, Caesar prepared his old bed as a napping area for Emelita, and Spencer assisted Gloria in the kitchen. He was fond of cooking, and he loved to help his mom out when he was a kid, so he leaped on the opportunity to lend Gloria a hand. She was making a few of his mom's favorite things, and she was making Andrea an entirely different meal. She wasn't a big fan of pork to begin with. It wasn't a bother to Gloria as Keira didn't like it all that much either, and she didn't have to waste Spencer's aid. Two in the kitchen made easier work of a meal for thirteen, fourteen people. She was grateful her family was large and this was child's play, otherwise she'd make Carol and Caesar do all the cooking.

Gloria heard a knock on the door and greeted her daughter-in-law and granddaughters with a hug, and Spencer took the bags gently out of Andrea's hands.

"She's asleep." Andrea pointed to the baby strapped to her chest. "I'll be back down after Caesar and I get her situated."

Gloria nodded and closed the door, smiling to Keira. "C'mon, bella, let's ice some cookies."

Andrea carefully climbed the stairs and walked to Caesar's room, tenderly freeing Em from the carrier, and Caesar hopped up from his desk to lend her a hand. Andrea set the sling on the bed and bent down as Caesar made Em comfortable on the bed, and she brushed her fingers over the hairs on her head. She smiled at the small yawn her daughter gave, and she remembered why she loved babies so much. They were a nightmare, but the little clothes and little yawns and little giggles were worth it. They were so precious.

"C'mere." He returned to his desk and caught her wrist when she was close, and he pulled her down onto his lap. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise? A good surprise? Or one of your surprises that leave me annoyed and with a mess to clean up?"

"It's a good one. Carol helped me put it together. Aiden too. He found the place for us." He pointed to the laptop screen, and she sighed, leaning over to read it. "It's a cabin in Georgia. It's affordable, and it's ours for the week of Beth and Noah's wedding."

"An entire week?" She shook her head. "It sounds great, but we have an eight-year-old, and a three month old. We can't stay away for an entire week."

"Yes, we can. Carol gets back after the wedding, and she agreed to watch Keira and Emelita. She doesn't mind, and she found a babysitter for when she has to work." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "It'll be just us and the woods for an entire week, and if you feel anxious about leaving Em, Carol's a phone call away. Or you can video chat with her and the girls."

"I'm not that bad," she groused. "I can handle leaving her alone."

"She'll be six or seven months by that time," he continued, as if not hearing her. "I'm sure your fears will vanish by then."

She grumbled. "All right, but you owe me a massage."

"Tonight, or when we get down there?"

"When we get down there. I'll need someone to undo all of the tension of abandoning my babies." She smirked and kissed him. "Besides it was kinda of fun last time."

"Says the one who received the massage."

She chuckled. "You know you enjoyed it."

"I didn't say I didn't," he murmured against her lips. "Just that you were the only one to get a massage."

"Because you're incredibly impatient and easily aroused."

"Only by you."

"Good." She kissed him slowly, savoring the moment before they had to join the others and finish the preparations for the birthday party. She would happily sing and give a present to Deanna when it was time, but right now she just wanted to be here, with her husband, without a screaming infant or young child demanding help with homework or art and crafts.

Caesar pulled back and bumped his nose against her, commenting, "By the way, you lied."

"Huh?" She brushed an eyelash from his upper cheek. "About what? When?"

"When you were pregnant, you said you could function on a twenty minute nap," he answered, "but you can't barely move on twenty minutes."

"And you're just now saying something? A year later?"

"I haven't had a lot of time on my hands, all right?" She was laughing at him. "And I'm slow to come backs. It's called, like, staircase wit or something. I dunno, look it up."

"You're stupid." She cupped his cheek. "But you're also adorable."

"I can live with that." He smashed his lips against hers.

––

"Get down!" Caesar softly hissed at Carol. "I called the chair, and you know it, so just move it."

"Make me."

He heard the voices outside grow louder, and he dropped down beside her, wishing he'd hid with Andrea, and he shoved Carol with his elbow. She nearly fell over, and he snorted, apologizing. She poked him in the side, and he narrowed his eyes, not trusting her finger against his rib, and he was right to when she tickled him. He hit the lamp trying to squirm away, but before he could retaliate, in came the Monroes and Daryl.

"Surprise!"

"Oh, God!" Deanna grasped her heart and chuckled at the sight of them. "That's a great way to greet an old woman!"

They laughed with her, Carol smirked at her brother and moved out from behind the chair to greet their guests and birthday girl, and Caesar collected coats. Once the hugs and laughter died down, they began to just catch up. The living room became a mess of human bodies, laughter and iced drinks. They had broken up into little groups, talking about the anything and everything that amused or filled in blanks of the past couple weeks, and the air was pleasant. It was filled with family and warmth—possibly too much, as they had to kick on the AC—and teasing.

Carol was caught up in a conversation with her brothers, picking on Caesar as he'd tried to steal her spot, and he gave it right back, divulging some embarrassing details of her younger years. She wanted to kill him, but she just as many secrets and dirt on him. It was all in good fun, and the real shit they kept locked away, never to share with anybody ever. The real shit wasn't even capable of being funny, no matter how it was worded or verbalized.

They lost Aiden to Keira and Mika, who came begging for him to play a game with them. They were begging all four of them, but only Aiden caved. Carol had to fish out the board games for them since Caesar didn't trust the ladder with his weight, and Carol volunteered, not wanting Andrea on the rickety thing, or any of the girls. She'd been on it many times in the past, so she trusted herself to be able to know if it was going to give. She and Caesar decided then what they were buying Mom for her birthday.

Sophia and Leslie were on their phone, wandering the house and yard, playing some app. The others weren't sure if Reg either interested in the game or playing it himself, but when they all came to Deanna to ask if they could take a walk around the block, they had their answer. She laughed at how eager they were, and she decided to tag along with them for some fresh air.

"Stay with Grandma, all right?" Spencer said to Leslie. "And keep an eye on your surroundings and your cousin."

"Yes, Dad, okay. I know." She huffed. "We'll be fine."

"I'll be with them the whole time." Deanna patted his arm. "I won't let anything happen to them."

"Yeah, but it's three kids," Carol commented, pointing to Reg, Leslie and Sophia. "Are you sure you can keep up with them?"

"I kept up with you three pretty well."

"True." Carol pushed off the wall and reminded Sophia to stay close and of their alert word should she get lost. "Be good, okay?"

"Come with us." Sophia grinned. "Please, Mom, please. You're always around when the good ones show up anyway."

"You want me to tag along with you guys so you can get better at your game?"

"Pretty much."

Carol released a short, scoff of a chuckle. "It's a decent day, and I could use the air, but you'll have to show me how to play this game. I've already lost three of you to it, and I'd like to know why."

"Sure!"

"I'll come too." Daryl opened the door for Reg and the girls. "It can't hurt to take a walk."

"We'll be back soon." Carol waved to Mika and her mom, pulling the door closed.

Gloria took the opportunity to rest her feet, and Caesar brought her a plate of snacks and a drink, plopping down beside her. She reprimanded him on that, and he apologized, vowing he wouldn't do it again, although he'd done it since he was tall enough to sit on the couch. She chuckled at her lying son, and he returned it, seeing Andrea on the stairs with Em.

Andrea had checked in on her, and when she did, it was the moment Em woke up. She changed her diaper and calmed her cries, not wanting to dampen the mood, but the large of the group had gone. She didn't want to ask where they went, or at what time they'd be back. She was grateful it was quiet. Quiet kept Emelita calm. Well, for the most part.

Gloria observed her son and daughter-in-law with their child. "She seems to be doing better."

"She still has fits," Andrea agreed, "but she is."

"She just needs to spend more time with her daddy," Caesar joked, wiggling her little hand that was curled around his index finger. "Don't you, mi corazón? Hmm?"

"Because we need you rubbing off on her," Gloria shot back.

Andrea giggled. "I know, right?" She adjusted the bow on Emelita's head. "I don't know how in the world I'll manage having his son."

"You'll do fine," Gloria assured her. "Do what I did: leave him with family."

"You want him?"

"Madre de Dios, no. I barely survived him."

"Thanks, guys. Dissing my unborn son." He lifted Em from Andrea's lap. "My daughter doesn't need this kind of negativity in her life. Keira, let's go. I think I saw some cookies we can munch on."

"No, not yet. I've almost won." Aiden rolled the dice. "Give her two minutes."

"Is that Monopoly?" Andrea stretched to see the game. "I hate that game."

"Because you suck at it," Caesar muttered.

"No. No. I hate it, because it's a mess of people taking your money and going to jail. It's a horrible game."

"I suckered her into playing when I was house-sitting for Mom while she went to visit family," he supplied and snickered. "She lost every time. She threw the board and stormed out of the dining room."

"I had too much wine." She scrunched her nose at him. "I would have won had I been sober."

"Uh-huh."

"Fine, you want to uh-huh. The next game, we're playing, and we'll see who wins."

"As long as I get the same celebratory kiss as the first time." His smirk suggested to the adults in the room it wasn't just a kiss they'd shared.

"Don't you have cookies to eat?" Gloria didn't want to know that much about her child and daughter-in-law.

"I do. Come join me when you're done, Keira. I'll give you some tips on how to kick butt." He strolled into the kitchen to find the cookies they hadn't iced. He didn't like icing much, and he didn't want that icing to be the first kind Em tasted. Mom's was great, but not first time tasting icing great, not the like the delicious icing one the cinnamon rolls at the Jones' Cafe. Man, he was drooling just thinking about it He would never tell his mother this, or he wouldn't live to make a son.

"How are you two?" Gloria wagged her finger from the kitchen where Caesar and Em had gone to and back to Andrea. "You seem happy. Well, happier."

"We are." Andrea couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips and shined in her eyes. "Some of the space that used to be there between us...is gone. His therapist has helped him immensely, and I can't than her enough. I think he's finally come to terms with all that he's lost."

"Good. That's good."

"How are you?" Andrea scooted closer.

"It's been a long week with Carol and these boys calling me, but I love having the house full. It makes me less lonely."

Andrea frowned and grasped her hand. "You're not alone."

"Once you all leave," she amended with a quiet tone, "I am."

"If you ever feel lonely, come by our home." Andrea squeezed her hand. "We don't have much room, but we love having you over. The girls adore you, especially Em. She loves a cushy lap." She was no fan of Amy's bone-y lap, or so Andrea teased her.

"I just might." She pinched her chin affectionately, and Andrea returned it with a one-armed hug.

––

"I don't get why they love it so much." Carol traipsed behind the girls with Deanna. "It's a little silly."

"To each his own," Deanna remarked. "I didn't understand half the games Spencer and Aiden used to play."

"I guess." She kept an eye on Sophia and Reg. "So, were you really surprised? By the party."

"No, Reg let it slip two days ago."

"Of course." She pursed her lips. "Great job at fooling everyone."

"I couldn't let a good surprise go to waste." She winked.

Carol beamed. "Did you have a good day looking at the city?"

She nodded. "We hardly got to see it last time we came, and it was nice." She looped her arm through Carol's. "Your daughters are lovely company, too. Mika's such a gentle soul."

"She is. She gets it from her father."

"Sophia will make a fine detective one day." She smirked at Carol's grimace. "She hasn't stopped talking about it all day."

"I was hope she'd drop it by now, but evidently not." She slid her free hand into her back pocket. "I guess we'll have another cop in the family one day."

"I could try and persuade her to follow a different career path."

"No, it's all right. It's her life, her dream, and I won't stop her from trying to do it. I'll just hope she changes her mind." It was the simpler solution, considering Carol couldn't arrest every criminal and potential criminal in New York by the time Sophia graduated college. She could—and likely would—try, but it was fruitless. Sophia's dreams were her own, and Carol would proudly support her no matter what they were. She'd just have to pray more in church.

"She'll do great, like her mother and uncle."

"I have no doubt." She inhaled. "She'll thrive in any field she applies herself to."

Deanna peered at her. "How are you lately? You seem distracted."

"It's been a crazy couple of weeks." She tried to laugh it off, but Deanna wasn't having it. She swallowed and cursed softly. Gloria had already dragged it out of her, now it was Deanna's turn. Next time she should simply sit them down and spill her guts, at least to avoid having to do it twice. "Recently a criminal I knew was killed. He was a terrible man, and he nearly ruined my life."

"I'm not sorry he's gone."

"Nor am I, but..." She lowered her voice so Daryl wouldn't hear. "But now that he's gone, certain alternatives I thought weren't an feasible are, and it's...stressful, to say the least."

"What sort of alternatives?"

She moistened her lips. "Marriage, for one. Having another child. Going on trips. Living...without fear that he'll take someone away from me."

Deanna drew Carol closer at the tears glossing in her eyes. "Honey, it's all right."

"It's overwhelming," she corrected. "I don't know what to do, or what I even want."

"Marriage and having children isn't something you decide to do alone," Deanna reminded her. "I suspect this trip isn't something you've planned alone either."

"It wasn't planned by me at all."

"Do you want to go?"

"Of course I do."

"Then go." She stopped Carol from walking and locked eyes with her. "I don't know every detail of your life, but I know how difficult it's been for me. I can't imagine the struggles you've endured, but I think that was enough, don't you? All of your struggles and worry and doubts about your life showed up early on, so now is the time to just relax and have some damn fun. Take a trip. Get married. Adopt a puppy! Do whatever makes you happy, because at this point you damn well deserve it."

She pitifully laughed through her nose. "I see your point, but—"

"No buts. You need...to see the infinite possibilities laid out before you. There are hitches, of course, there always are in life, but don't let it stop you. You've been bogged down for so long. You can't live like that. Trust me on this. You'll miss out on the best times of your life—of your children's lives—if you don't say to hell with it now and then." She exhaled deeply, wistfully. "Carpe diem."

She smiled. "I can't promise you anything."

She smooshed Carol's cheeks with her hands. "Just try. Say you'll try."

"I'll try." She giggled and hugged her. "I'll try."

"Okay." She rubbed her back. "If that boy tries to propose to you, tell him he needs my blessing first. Only the best for my kids."

She chuckled. "He already knows. Mom made it known he has to ask all of my parents. And brothers." Thankfully not cousins or uncles or aunts, because Daryl would have to run all over the city, and they'd probably be...a thousand by the time he got back. A hyperbole, sure, but the Martinezes were a large family.

She nodded. "Good, because I'll kick his ass if he doesn't."

"I wouldn't bet against you."

"And you shouldn't. I may be small, but I have a great right hook."

"Hey, slow pokes, come on!" Reg called to them through cupped hands. "We wanna make it back before next year!"

The girls laughed, Carol shook her head, Daryl tried to hide his chuckles, and Deanna nudged them both in the ribs when they closed the gap separating them. Sophia and Leslie were on the hunt for some nearby creature, Reg and Deanna were their designated watchers to keep them safe, so Carol felt plenty at ease to claim Daryl's hand and slowly amble behind them.

"You grew up here?" Daryl laced his fingers through hers.

"Yes. We used to play stick ball back there in that lot. I tended to watch with Karen, but Caesar loved it." She scanned the street. "Oh, a couple of us went caroling through here. Mom forced us to go, but it was worth it. We got home and had hot coco to warm us up and for our throats. She said it was optional the next year."

"How old were you guys?"

"Eleven. I suspect she only forced us to go so I'd have the experience. She never said, but I had my suspicions." A glow overtook her face, and her eyes glistened fondly. "She let me bake cookies for the stores I stole from. I—I never told them I stole what may have been hundreds of dollars worth of produce, but I did what I could to make up for it."

"You had to what you had to do to survive."

"I know."

He didn't want to dwell on the poor part of her childhood. "What else?"

"What else? Hmm." She raised a hand to the shop down the street. "That's where I met Gloria. It's how I survived really."

"Can we got here?"

"Not today. We have plenty of food at home, and if we go there, Caesar will smell it on us somehow. He's like a bloodhound when it comes to Eastman's place. He'll want his usual, and he won't shut up until gets it. We already have one crying baby at home, let's not make it two."

He snorted. "All right. We'll go there for our next date."

"How romantic." She curled her hand around his forearm. "I can't wait, but lunch date, right?"

"Yeah, lunch date. Once Deanna's gone, we'll go there for lunch. Or we could go while she's still here."

"Both sound great. She'd like the chicken and avocado..." She glanced over and halted.

"What?" He followed her gaze to an alley where a couple of kids were playing. They were drawing with chalk, an older woman who was either the babysitter or the mother was with them, doodling and complimenting them. She laughed at some of their silly sketches, but it wasn't out of the ordinary. Unless...

"Was this the place?"

She nodded.

"C'mon." He tried to pull her away, but she wouldn't move. "Carol, you don't need—"

"It's all right, Daryl." She waved at the little boy who spotted them watching, and she walked forward. "That part of my past is in the past. It can't touch me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She faced him. "You can't protect me from every dark corner, Daryl. You know that, right? As a cop, I'll meet many of them with many varying creeps hovering there, and it's not okay, but I can handle it."

"I know, but me knowing doesn't mean I can't try and prevent you from...reliving it. I know it's in your past, and nothin' I do now can change it, but I don't want you goin' back to that place. I've been there, and I've gone back to that place in my head, and I fuckin' hate it. I hate it, and I don't want...you to go there again."

She smiled and stepped toward him. "You can't protect me from my thoughts, my memories, but don't worry. I don't go there often, and the times I do...aren't anything." She grasped his hands. "It's just an alley. It doesn't scare me."

He nodded.

"And speaking of scaring me," she continued, "I want to take that trip with you. I know I agreed before, but...well, you know what happened. I wanted to reiterate that I fully intend to go. I'm looking forward to it." Don't oversell it, Williams!

"You do?"

"Yeah. It's...something I need to do, and I'd love to go with you. It'd be nice to get away for a long weekend." She set a hand on his chest. "I'm also mentioning drugging me again. I'm not joking, just be prepared."

He grinned at her. "Yeah...yeah, I'll be prepared." He cleared his throat. "We can talk about it more later, once the party is over and we're not...in the middle of the street." She chuckled. "We'll get it all figured out. Probably not tonight, but maybe over our lunch date. Er, I mean, it won't be for a while, right?"

"Not this month, but why not next month like you said?"

"Yeah, I still got some of it worked out. We can go from there." He wrapped his arm around her waist. "We'll take it slow, so I don't have to sedate you. How does that sound?"

"Slow would be great." She exhaled, still feeling apprehensive over this plan, but screw it. "I'm sorry about my issues."

"Don't be. I get it. I got 'em too."

"I know." They'd gone into depth about their scars a couple nights after their second time together. Carol could barely calm the flames rising in her stomach at his story, but it appeared to be an old wound. The damage done by his father had been cured by Sophia, and she was thankful even more for their little girl. She wished she could do more for him, but just like her old wounds there was nothing he could do. It was in the past where it belonged, and while it reared its ugly in now and then it wasn't enough to ruin her life entirely. She had people to turn to if it did, and he had her if he needed her. He'd always have her. She hoped he knew that.

She noticed Deanna and Reg and the kids were nowhere in sight. "Well, we've lost our group."

"Can't leave your mom with those kids on her birthday," he noted. "Let's go catch up to 'em."

– – –

They returned to the house in two groups only minutes apart, Gloria and Aiden were setting the table, and the food smelled yummy. It looked even more delectable. It was a pleasant mix of the meats and sweets, and they were practically drooling while stripping off their coats. They washed up and gave Gloria and Aiden a hand with the table and extra chairs, making Deanna sit because it was her birthday.

It was a train wrecking trying to get plates made, but they managed and survived with no shattered plates or cups, and no food was dropped. Deanna said a few words of thanks, lingering on her children and the hostess, and they dug in. Within minutes conversation about sports and work filled the room, despite Gloria trying to keep the shop talk to a minimum. It couldn't be avoided. Luckily it wasn't gory or tedious talk.

The girls were lost their own conversation, trying to explain something about their game. They weren't allowed to have their phones at the table, so they were trying to describe it by memory. It was hilarious, and Carol found herself laughing at them more than once. She wasn't the only one, but she was the only one they pointed out for teasing them. She couldn't even get through an apology, and Daryl had to say it for her, playfully shaking his head at her with feign disappointment.

Spencer and Caesar were arguing about their ideal houses and finding them in the city. It wasn't an actual fight, and nobody was serious, but they were very passionate. Caesar kept insisting Spencer didn't know what he was talking about having grown up in Ohio. He didn't get what it was like here, and Spencer laughed and said he knew it well enough. They went back and forth for most of the dinner, stopping only when Emelita grew fussy in her pin, and she wouldn't take her bottle. Caesar tried every way he knew, but she wouldn't take it from him, and Andrea was about to take her, but Spencer offered. He was able to get her to take it. Sadly, she wouldn't let him go after that. She latched on to people, and today it was Spencer. Daryl was relieved.

Gloria and Deanna chatted about recipes and life. Gloria and she had become friends rather quickly, both women fiercely protective of Carol. They found a way to bond over that, and they were forming plans for Gloria to come and visit them at their home, let Deanna knock her socks off with her cooking. Reg was pleased by the idea, ecstatic Deanna had found a friend who didn't want to hook their child up with Aiden. He avoided the people Deanna invited over, because of their many questions on Aiden's love life. Somehow the "bad boy" angle made him popular. He didn't want to know why.

"Are you feeling okay?" Andrea set a hand on Keira's forehead.

"Yeah."

"You look a little pale." She touched her cheek. "You're a little warm."

"Mom, I'm okay." She shrugged a shoulder. "I haven't gone much sun."

"Uh-huh."

"I have some medicine," Deanna whispered to Andrea. "It prevents colds. I use it from time to time. It's safe for her to take."

"That'd be great. If she gets sick, so will her sister and Caesar, and I can't handle three sick Martinezs." Two of them became babies when under the weather, and no, the actual infant wasn't a part of that two.

"I'll give her a tablet after dinner."

"You'll have to trick her. She hates medicine."

"I have my ways."

"Do I want to know what you two are talking about?" Carol drank from her glass.

"Probably not." Andrea reached for her glass of water.

"I thought so."

––

After everyone finished eating and the girls collected the plates, Daryl put on a pot of coffee while Carol and Gloria and Andrea readied the birthday cake. Leslie and Sophia were itching to get back to their phones, but Spencer wouldn't hand them over until after the last slice of cake was cut.

The hum of Happy Birthday filled the dining room, Deanna blew out the candles and cut herself a slice. She left the rest of the cake for the others to cut and serve for themselves. She always hated trying to divide up a cake for multiple people, and she was content with her slice, and they would be contented too, by cutting it themselves. Nobody would complain or get cheated that way, or if they did get cheated, they could blame it on the previous cutter, not the birthday girl.

She settled on the couch with Reg, sharing the slice, and she smiled lovingly at her husband. "Thank you for this."

"It wasn't just me."

"No, I mean for all of it." She held his hand. "For adopting Carol and buying the house, for our boys and the business, the good times and the bad ones, for everything—thank you."

"You're welcome." He kissed her temple. "Dolor hic tibi proderit olim."

She cocked her head to the side, knowing what the translation to that was. "Hmm?"

"I heard you talking to Carol. Dolor hic tibi proderit olim. I don't know how much of it will take root in her, but your advise might keep her from making our mistakes. Living in the past isn't living, and I hope she takes what you said to heart."

"So do I." She cut off a bite of cake. "I already told Gloria if he proposes by the end of next year, we're walking her down the aisle. If he proposes the next year, she and you will."

He chortled. "Of course."

She grinned back around a forkful of cake.

Andrea and Carol decided to divvy up the cake, the boys grumbled that they could get their own, but they accepted their fate and thanked them for the plates they handed to them. Casaer manned the ice cream, giving out two massive scoops, and Andrea couldn't tell him to give less, because he looked so pleased with himself. She would regret it later when the sugar kicked in, but he would be there too, thus the hyper mess Keira would become would be his own fault. She wickedly grinned to herself and sliced her own piece of cake.

Carol handed Mika and Sophia a slice of cake with two scoops of ice cream Caesar scooped out for them, and she turned to ask Daryl if he wanted any, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. She wiped her hands on a cloth and checked with everyone. Aiden had seen him step outside.

"Thanks." She slipped out and found him on the steps. "Daryl?"

The sun had set hours ago between passing dinner rolls and making child-appropriate jokes, the cool of the fading winter air hung around them, and headlights of passing cars lit the road. Carol walked down the steps and sat beside him, setting a hand on his knee to try and get his attention. He instantly slid his hand over hers and held it.

He didn't utter a word, lost in his thoughts, and she didn't want to disturb him. She rested her head on his shoulder, leaning into him for warmth, and she looked up at the sky. She remembered The Lion King—Caesar's favorite animated movie of all time—and how Mufasa said he'd been in the stars with the other kings. It comforted her when she was a child. She was scared she'd lose her home, her new family, and she told herself that if it happened, if the worst were to come and they'd all lose Gloria, she'd be there. She'd be up in the sky watching out for them, and Carol wouldn't be alone this time. It was morbid, but she always planned for the worst. Bad things seemed to follow her, so her caution wasn't entirely unjustified.

She gazed up at the stars now and knew Sam was up there. He didn't have to protect her or keep an eye on her, simply stand by her when she couldn't stand at all. She didn't prepare for the worst anymore, but she couldn't evade it forever. So on her worst days when she couldn't get out of bed, or didn't feel like she could keep going, she hoped he was there beside her with Karen to give her a nudge, to remind her that no matter what she couldn't give up. She had to be firm and keep her head up, because there were people in her life who needed her to do so. They would look to her, and she couldn't let them down as she had in the past. She would be what they needed and what she needed herself to be.

On the other hand, Sam could give her a gentle shove now and then for the lighter things. Like the trip Daryl and she were to take. It wouldn't be a walk in the park, but she was going. She had no clue where or when, but she was going with him. They were going to Beth and Noah's wedding as well. She'd yet to mention it with the birthday plans, but she would tell him tonight at home. She'd already told the couple they were attending, so he couldn't argue. Besides it was the country, and he liked the woods. It'd be fall and beautifully orange and brown and yellow. Who could say no to that?

She rubbed his arm with her thumb and lifted her head from his shoulder, scrutinizing him. Would he say no?

Daryl rolled his head to the side to peer at her. "What?"

"I'll tell you later." She combed unruly hairs from his eyes. "Do you wanna head back in?"

"Nah, not yet."

"Do you want me to leave you to your thoughts?"

"No." He tightened his grip on her hand. "I want you here. I need to talk to you."

"You can tell me anything—unless it's a crime. I can get on board with the Archer lie, but anything more is out of my hands." She was only half-teasing.

"Gonna slap some cuffs on me, detective?"

"Only if you make me," the rejoinder rolled off her lips, "crook."

A feeble smile crossed his lips. "Well, last time I recall...I enjoyed the cuffs."

"A little too much, I might add. First and last time I bring them home."

"Don't be so hasty."

She laughed. "If you're that upset about it, I'll reconsider, but I'm not promising you anything. I'm leaning toward leaving them at the office."

"Bet I can change your mind."

"We'll just have to see. I might need to use them again to be sure."

"I think you're right. A second go might help make up your mind." She laughed again, and he loved the sound of it. "I need to talk to you, and not about handcuffs."

"You sound serious." Her smile vanished. "What is it?"

"I went to see Merle last week, told him about how we were doin', and he told me..." He swallowed. "He said I should propose, but we never talked about marriage, or any of that."

"Do you want to get married?"

"Someday, maybe." He met her eyes. "Do you?"

"I never thought about it before. Rick and I... Well, there was no chance in hell of us getting married. And anyone else I was with, I was too young to consider marriage." She scratched her neck. "With us, though, I have thought about it. A lot these past couple days, and I would like to."

"Me too."

"You said that already."

He flushed. "Oh."

"I don't want to get married any time soon," she asserted. "I want to wait, to see if we'll last another year or not. I have a strong feeling we will, but just to be sure. We've only just gotten over one roadblock. Let's wait and see what else arises. Uh, is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay." He kissed her forehead. "Let's see where this goes."

She snuggled closer to him. "I love you, and I'm pleased with where we are now. Maybe in a year or even a couple months, I'll want more, but for now, I'm good. Well, I'm better than good, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah." He fondled her cheek and drew her near. "I love you too."

"I'm sure one day I'll love to be Mrs. Daryl Dixon, but for now I'm pretty damn content with this." She knew she was repeating herself, but it was oddly a challenge to scrape together words with him so close. She pressed her lips to his, their knees knocking together as they shifted to be face each other, and she chuckled against his lips at nothing in particular. She was definitely in love with him, no changing that, and she wouldn't want to.

"Hey, stop making out on the steps and get in here." Casaer stood in the doorway. "It's cold as balls out here. C'mon. We got the stereo on, and Deanna's gonna show us some of her moves."

"You're an asshole," Carol shot back. "But I can't miss that."

"I know, so hurry up, Williams." He shimmed back into the house to the beat of the song playing.

Carol laughed at her idiotic brother. "I'll be in soon. I just need a second."

"Be quick. It's gettin' colder." He kissed her once more and ducked into the house.

She tugged her sleeves over her knuckles, pulling her legs closer on the steps, and she listened to the sounds of her family laughing and cheering. She smiled and inhaled deeply, the warmth of the love in the house behind her filling her, and she grasped her locket. She brushed her thumb over the back of it, remembering every single time she'd done it in the past and how much it ached in the beginning. She had come a long way since. In spite of her cruel past, she had survived. Hell, she'd thrived, and now she had an endless road ahead of her, didn't she?

Raising from the steps, her smile widened. She did. Whatever came next, whatever the world threw at her, whatever she threw at herself, it was just another day. Tomorrow left endless opportunities for better. That was a lesson she'd taken quiet some time to learn; however, when everything felt stacked against you, better wasn't a word you consider or often use.

Although without those odds, I wouldn't be here, so it worked out, she thought to herself as she climbed the stairs. She tugged the door open and entered the house, gazing in on the dancing people in the living room and grinning broadly. She didn't waste any time joining the group of losers she called family.

There would be a lot of changes in their lives in the coming months and years, but they had come to understand that nothing would change, except what had to.

A/N: I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed We Didn't Start The Fire. This story has been with me and you readers for over a year, and I am proud of where it's taken me. I cannot express my gratitude and appreciation for all of you, those who reviewed and those who simply read. It was great to tell this story to you, and I hope I didn't disappoint or bore you with this. I'm happy with it, and I hope you are too. Thank you for letting me share my Caryl with you guys. You're truly amazing and beautiful, and just thank you.