Naruto beamed with pride as he looked around his new apartment building. He had finally convinced the Old Man to let him move out of the orphanage and live on his own. The orphanage hadn't been that bad, but it had been weird. All of the staff always had a strange expression frozen on their faces when they looked at him and seemed to shake a lot. Naruto knew it was just him because when he asked the other kids about it, they told him, "Yeah, they only do that when you're around." Since the staff was afraid of him, he decided to ask the Old Man to move out. He felt bad for the adults; nobody should live in constant fear like that.

Naruto opened his fridge and noticed that the Old Man forgot to stock it. He could ask him to get the food, but he was six years old and wasn't a kid anymore. Naruto grabbed Gama-chan and headed out to the nearest grocery store. He bounced into the store and said, "Hi. Do you have any ram-"

The shopkeeper screamed and prostrated himself on the floor before Naruto. "Please don't eat me, Uzumaki-sama! I am boney and gamey. My wife and children are much more tender and succulent; eat them instead!"

"I... uh... what? I just wanted some ramen?" Naruto said, confused.

"Take it! Take all of it for free! Just spare me your wrath!" the shopkeeper begged.

Naruto shrugged and grabbed a crate of instant ramen before heading out. 'That sure was nice of him,' he thought. 'Also weird, but nice.'

…

Ever since Naruto moved out of the orphanage, he had begun to notice that all of the adults seemed to be terrified of him. For instance, one time, he accidentally bumped into an adult, and the man turned to apologize. However, when he saw it was

Naruto, he immediately turned back around and ran away, screaming, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

When he asked the Old Man about what had happened, the Old Man just facepalmed and said, "Don't worry about it, Naruto. People are idiots sometimes."

But it still bugged Naruto. He had never eaten anybody before, so why did everyone think he was going to do it now?! It was so unfair. At least the other children were friendly enough, and they thought it was pretty cool that he could make adults do whatever he said. Still, Naruto needed to do something about his reputation as a cannibal. One day, as he was walking through the market, he spotted an orange jumpsuit, and he thought of the perfect plan. If he dressed in warm, friendly colors, that would put people at ease, right?

…

"Did you see that the Nine-Tails changed his wardrobe? What do you think he is trying to tell us?"

"Well, you know how the brightest colored creatures in nature are the deadliest? He must be trying to warn us that he is not to be trifled with."

"Also, now that I think about it isn't he dressing in the same color as his fur?"

"Oh, God. He must still have his full power and is letting us know that he could crush us all at any moment!"

…

When the Old Man asked if he wanted to join the Ninja Academy, Naruto jumped at the chance. The ninja forces of the Leaf were meant to defend and protect the Leaf villagers, so maybe if he joined, that would convince the others of his good intentions. However, when roll call came on the first day of class, Naruto got overexcited and yelled out his name, causing the Chunin instructor to let out a scream of fright and poop his pants. Later that same day, he overheard two teachers whispering to each other about him.

"-learning to kill us all!"

"Quiet! He might hear you."

Aw man... People thought he was learning to be a ninja so he could eat people. Maybe if he did really badly in classes, people would stop worrying?

…

"Okay, no one can possibly be this bad at being a ninja. I think the Nine-Tails is messing with us."

"But why would he choose to do badly? Shouldn't he be showing us that we mortals do not hold a candle to his might, or something along those lines?"

"Maybe he's saying that he doesn't need our pathetic ninja techniques to destroy us. He has all the skill and power he needs to do that already."

"Oh, God."

…

Naruto fumed. His plan to do some practical jokes backfired spectacularly. He saw some kids do it earlier during the academic year, and it had made everybody laugh. Even though the teacher had scolded and punished the culprit, you could tell that they had been amused as well. So he thought, 'Hey, it worked for them, it should work for me,' like an idiot. If anything, people were more terrified of him than ever. One of the teachers had started to openly cry whenever he saw Naruto, and the villagers now made sure to leave ten feet of space between him and them.

He just didn't understand what he was doing wrong.

…

"Somebody must have offended the Nine-Tails! Who was foolish enough to provoke it!?

Everybody knows that kitsune play tricks on people who wrong them!"

"I say we find the asshole that did it and beat that fucker to death!"

"Yeah!"

…

After failing to get the Old Man to tell him why everybody thought he was a murderous cannibal again, Naruto decided it was time to hatch a new scheme. Everybody liked and respected the Old Man, so if he modeled himself after him, they should like him too. Step one was to let everyone know that he was planning on becoming the Hokage. This had to work! It had to!

…

"Did you hear?! The Nine-Tails wishes to rule us all with an iron fist."

"Well, I for one welcome our new fox overlord."

…

My name is Naruto Uzumaki. My hobbies include proving that I am not a murderous cannibal, I dislike people who think I am murderous cannibal, I like people who don't think I am a murderous cannibal, and my dream is to one day prove that I am not a murderous cannibal.

AN: I always thought it was weird that the villagers would go out of their way to provoke a demon that could maybe one day kill them all. I think this is a far more likely scenario.