I do not own Kantai Collection

When the text is in () then it is from another characters point of view.

I can not sleep. I said to myself and sat up on the bed.
"what's wrong Nagato? Can't sleep?" Moaned Mutsu that layed next to me.
"No. I am going to do some more work and see if I can sleep then." I replied and looked back at her.
"Okay. But at least give me a kiss before you go." She said and sat up.
I did not say anything and just kissed her her and left and got dressed.
She fell fast asleep again.
It was a lie. I was not going to work.

I knocked on the door. And a tired Yamato opened.
"You can not sleep tonight either?" She asked when she opened.
"No. I can not." I replied.
"You have to tell her the truth. You can not go on like this." She said and pulled me in to her quarters.
She kissed me and looked at me. She could see that I was hurting.
"She is going to find out one way or another." She said and turned on the light in the rest of the room.
She was already in her pajamas.
"Did I wake you up?" I asked.
"No I was just on my way to go to bed." She said as she pulled out another pajamas and gave it to me.
As I started to put it on I thought to myself. How can I tell Mutsu? How can I tell her that I can not live in a one sided relationship?
When I had changed I felt Yamato hugging me from behind.
"It is killing me to see you hurting like this." She said.
"But how can I tell her? How can I tell her that I never really felt the same for her?" I asked.
"You will find a way I am sure." She replied and turned me around so I was facing her.
"And how am I going to explain to her about us?" I said.
"You can do it I am sure of it." She said.
"I am tired Yamato." I said.
"Then let's go to bed then." She said and sat down on the bed.
I just nodded in reply and went to the bed.
As we laid down Yamato said. "No matter what happens I will always be here with you."
I smiled and kissed her goodnight.
Yamato had no problem falling asleep but I could not say the same for me.
My thoughts was just too much.
From the beginning I really thought that I had something for Mutsu. But there was always something that was a bit of. It always felt a little one sided but I thought that it was okay as long as I at least felt something for her.
But it all change when I met Yamato. When I started to get to know her I realized what was wrong. That thing that always felt wrong when I was together with Mutsu. I never really loved her well not in the same way as she loved me. I loved her more like a sister. Well in a way we are sisters we are sister ships. Not sisters by blood.
It was almost a night like this but I actually went to work it all happened.
Yamato came in to the room where I was working.
She had actually noticed the problem with me and Mutsu.
She asked why I was still in a relationship that was obvious hurting me.
I got a bit angry at first but then just broke down in tears.
I told her about it all that night.
She just listened and supported me.
It was also then we shared our first kiss.
And after that I started to learn what true love meant.
But that also meant that it got harder to be with Mutsu.
I did not know how to tell her back then and I still do not know how.
And Yamato is right I can not go on like this anymore.
I need to tell her!
I need to tell her that we can not go on together!
I need to say it!

At some point I must have fallen asleep. Because suddenly the light from the sun started to find it way into the room.
And I just sat up in a flash. And that caused Yamato to wake up as well.
"What is wrong Nagato?" She asked.
"I think we overslept." I replied.
Yamato looked over at the clock on her side of the bed and said "Yes it would seem so."
"I need to get back to my quarters before Mutsu wake up!" I said and went to get dressed.
"Calm down dear. just take it easy. It will just make it worse if you come back all worked up." She said and also went up out of bed.
She went and opened the door and poked her head out to see if someone else was awake.
To her surprise she saw Mutsu coming down the hallway.
"Oh Good morning Yamato!" She said when she noticed her.
"Good morning" Yamato replied.
Luckily Yamato had the door in a way so Mutsu could not see in to the room.
"Have you seen Nagato anywhere?" Mutsu asked.
"No sorry I just woke up." Yamato replied.
"Okay." Mutsu said.
"Did she wake up before you or did she work thru the night?" Yamato asked.
"Maybe. She was not our room when I woke up." She replied.
"Hm Maybe she is in the planning room or maybe you will meet her back at your room." Yamato said.
"Yeah you are right I will take a look in the planning room first." Mutsu said and started walking.
Yamato closed the door and looked back at me and said. "There I just bought you some time."
"Thank you" I replied with and took a deep breath.
"No problem." She said and smiled.
If Mutsu had seen me changing clothes in Yamato's room.
I can only imagine the worst.

I finished getting changed and said goodbye to Yamato before I left for my room.
I arrived in good time to start pulling out new clothes when Mutsu came in.
"There you are dear." She said with a smile.
"Oh good morning. Sorry I fell asleep in the planning room." I lied.
"Yeah I was just there. we must have passed each other." She replied and hugged me.
"Oh so there is where you were. Here I thought I could come back in time to wake you up my dear." I said and tried to smile back.
It worked.
"Aw" she said and kissed me.
"So what is happening today?" Mutsu asked when I had finished changing.
"Well I have to give my report to the Admiral." I replied.
"Oh so you finished it?" She said.
"Yes I did. And are you not going to supervise the Destroyers test today?" I replied.
"Oh yeah thats right I must go and prepare for it. Thanks for reminding me love" she said left in a hurry.

Finally I could relax for a bit. That test is going to take the most of her day.
I went to go and get my report. That was actually not a lie I had completed it. But it was right before we went to bed.

When I had gotten it and just entered the Admiral's office.
"Ah Nagato I need to talk to you for a bit." He said before I had saluted.
"About what sir?" I asked and saluted.
"About you and Mutsu" He said.
I did not say anything.
"I have noticed and some other ship-girls have noticed it as well. That your relationship with Mutsu is affecting you in a bad way. I have also noticed that you seem to have a relationship with Yamato as well." He continued.
I did not really know what to say.
"It's a little of a complicated story" Yamato said as she entered the room.
"So I have noticed." The Admiral said.
I was still speech less but Yamato took my hand and said.
"Nagato is having a hard time. She knows that all of this is a big mess and so do I. But we do not really know how to tell Mutsu yet."
"If you want I could talk to Mutsu. Because this is something that need t be fixed soon before it starts affecting you on the battlefield." The Admiral said.
"No I need to be the one to tell her." I finally said.
"Are you sure you can do it?" The Admiral asked.
"I am sure I will find a way sir." I replied.
"Well then I will leave it to you then." He said
"But I do not know how she will take it." I said.
"If she take it to hard we may have to just put her off duty for awhile." The Admiral said.
"Yes that may be for the best." I responded.
"Well then that will be your orders for today to find a way to tell Mutsu that you two can not go on." He said.
"Understood and thank you sir!" I said and saluted.
"Good. You can leave your report on my desk I will take a look at it later. You can leave now" He said and replied the salute.
"Yes sir!" I replied as I put the report on his desk and left the office.

Yamato came out not short after me.
"So I just got ordered to help you." She said with a smile when she went up to me.
"That must be the strangest orders we have ever gotten" I said.
"Yeah but it is still good to have some support from the Admiral." Yamato said.
"Yes you are right. But where should we be?" I said.
"Why not in the planning room there we will arouse the least suspicion from Mutsu." She replied.
"Yeah that is a good idea. By the way why did you come in to the Admiral's office?" I said.
"Well I am the flagship and besides I was ordered to come and talk about us." She replied.
"Ah I understand." I said as we entered the planning room.
"So do you have any idea on how you are going to tell her?" Yamato asked and looked seriously at me.
"well no. I want to find a way that will hurt her as little as possible. Because there is no way I can tell her without her getting hurt." I replied. and looked down on the floor.
"No that is true. But it is good that you have realised that you can not avoid it." She said and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah. But she is my ship sister. I do not really want to hurt her." I said and walked to the window. There I could see Mutsu ordering the Destroyers around on there test.
"That is understandable. No one wants to hurt their ship sisters." She said and hugged me from behind.
"Oh Am I interrupting something?" We heard someone say behind us.
"Musashi do not scare us like that!" Yamato said when we had turned around.
"Sorry. I did not really want to disturb when you two looked so cute together." Musashi replied with a grin.
Both of us blushed. Luckily Musashi had no problem with me and Yamato her ship sister being together.
"Well I am here to deliver some orders for a mission to you two." She said.
"A mission?" I said.
"Yes. And depending on she will take the news Mutsu will take part in it as well. If not the Admiral will have to take in Fusou." Musashi said with a serious voice.
"Fusou? Is she really in condition to sortie?" I asked.
"Well not really. But she is not going to have anything that is clouding her mind. And we must have four Battleships for this mission. We need heavy fire power. And as you know there is only five of us Battleships on this base." Musashi replied.
"Well lets hope that Mutsu can take it well enough then." I said. But I felt more pressure than before.
Suddenly I felt Yamato's arms around me and she said.
"It is going to be alright"
I kissed her and said "Thank you."
"Well do you want to leave you two alone for a bit." Musashi said with a big grin.
We just gave her a angry look in response.
She continued to grin as she left the mission papers on the table and left the room.
Yamato continued to hold me in her arms.
"I can not take this any more. It is just too much" I said.
"Just take one step at the time. You are one of the Big Seven. You can do this." But just as Yamato had said that. We heard something fall to the floor.
"Mutsu!" I almost yelled and jumped out of Yamato's arms.
Mustu stood in door and she had dropped the lunch that she seemed to have made for me and her.
"Nagato! What a hell are you doing!" Mustu yelled.
Did this count as one step at the time or did I just take a hell of amount of steps.
"Mutsu. I should have explained to you much more earlier" I finally manage to say.
"Explain what? For how long has this been going on behind my back?" She said.
I could feel the pain in my chest growing. This is what I was trying to avoid.
"What I have wanted to say for a while now is that you and I can not go on being together." I said.
"And Instead of saying it to me from the start you went of and cheated on me with Yamato!" She yelled.
"please listen to me Mustu. I never planed for it to go this way." I tried to tell her. But it was too late. She was far too angry now.
"No I do not want to hear another word from you. You are a monster and I hate you!" She cried.
"please Mutsu. Nagato never meant for it to go this way. And it is my fault." Yamato tried to say but Mutsu just yelled back.
"Shut up! both of you!"
She then ran away with tears in her eyes.
I fell down on the floor. I had lost all my strength.
"Nagato!" Yamato said and went down to help me.
"What have I done? This is all my fault." I said.
"Please Nagato do not say that. It is equal my fault." she said and hugged me.
And we just sat on the floor for a while.

(I left the two love birds and was going to eat some lunch.
On the way there I found Mutsu asking around were Nagato were.
And she headed in the way of the planning room.
"Hello Musashi!" She said when she saw me.
"Hello! Where are you heading?" I said.
"I heard that Nagato was in the planning room. So I going there to see if she want some lunch" She replied.
"You might want to wait for a while. She is pretty busy with planning for a mission tomorrow." I said.
"Well it never hurts to ask." She replied and continued towards the planning room.
Well this can not end well.
And I was correct. I followed behind Mutsu in a way she did not notice me.
And when she entered the room all I heard was the food falling to the floor and screaming from Mutsu. Nagato and Yamato tried to explain.
After a while Mutsu ran out of the planning room with tears in her eyes.
I took a quick look inside the room and saw Nagato completely devastated on the floor.
I decided to go after Mutsu.
When I found her in their quarters And caught an object was flew towards the door. A book.
"Is this Nagato's?" I asked as I entered.
"What a hell are you doing here?" She said with a angry look at me.
"I wanted to talk to you for a bit." I replied and put the book down.
"And maybe help to get some of Nagato's stuff out of here before you smash it all." I continued.
She just frowned and said "What do you talk about? You knew about them didn't you?"
"yes I did. But still if I have told you back when I found it out the end result would most likely been the same. But before we continue let's find a box to put her stuff in." I said.
I could see that she was not so happy for me being here. But she still went and got a box and we started to go through some stuff.
"So one thing that I really want you to take to mind is." I started to say after a while.
"I am not going to forgive them." She interrupted.
"I do not expect you to. All I want for you to try to move on as quickly as possible. We are at war and in your state of mind. You may end up doing something or something will happen that you will regret". I said an looked at her.
She did not say anything in return. She just continued to put down stuff in the box.
We filled up two boxes when the Admiral knocked on the door.
"So I guess that the news have been broken. " The Admiral said when he entered .
"You knew about them as well?!" Mutsu said.
"Well yes I am the commander of this naval area after all. And besides it was not that hard for me to notice the two of them." The Admiral replied.
Mutsu just started to look very angry again.
"Well all I wanted to see if you are fit for the mission tomorrow?" He continued.
"Yes! Of course I am!" She replied.
"Well then make sure you are ready to sortie in time." He said and left.

"Well I should get going as well." I said after the Admiral had left.
Mutsu just nodded at me as I lifted up the two boxes.
"Just call for me if you find some more stuff" I said as I left the room. I did not get any response.
I started to go towards Yamato's quarters. )

"Come on we have to go and get something to eat" Yamato said after a while.
"I am not really hungry." I replied.
"Come on! Let's go to my quarters and see if we can find something to eat." She said and pulled me up.
I just nodded and followed her.
Yamato have always been good with making food.
After the lunch I just laid down in the bed. I had no strength left.
"I do not know if I can go on the mission tomorrow." I said.
"Of course you can. I need you there tomorrow." Yamato said and sat down next to me.
"Why did all this shit happen today? Or was it all doomed from the start?" I said.
"Please Nagato stop!" She said with tears in her eyes and hugged me.
"Please Nagato. I can not stand it when you say stuff like that!" She continued.
I just could not say anything more the tears just came pouring out. And Yamato just kept holding me in her arms.
We just laid there until there was a knock on the door.
It was Musashi with two boxes.
"I got some of your stuff here Nagato" She said when she entered.
"you have talked with Mutsu?" I asked when she had put the boxes down on the floor.
"Yes I have" She answered.
"How is she?" I said.
"Well angry. Sad. All that you expect really from what happen" She said.
I just looked down on the boxes.
"But I'm sure she will come through. She is your ship sister after all" Musashi said and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Thanks." I said
"Now I will leave you in the very capable hands of my sister Yamato." She said and went for the door.
"Thanks and see you tomorrow Musashi." Yamato said.
She waved and left the room.
"So what do you want to do now?" Yamato asked and looked at me.
"I just want to go to sleep" I answered and went towards the bed.
I could almost feel Yamato's sad look as I went to bed.
I fell asleep almost instantly. I was so exhausted from what had happened today.

When I woke up. Yamato was laying next to me holding her arms around me. Still fast asleep.
"I must really try to move on. for Yamato's sake. If I keep going on like this I will end up hurting her as well" I said to myself.
Suddenly I heard a moan from Yamato.
"Good morning." I said and smiled at her.
"Good morning Nagato." She said and smiled back.
"Are you feeling better today?" She asked.
"Yeah a little bit." I answered and kissed her.
"Good that makes me happy." She said and smiled.
I sat up and said.
"Well it is time to get ready for the mission."
Yamato nodded.

And we went and got ready and were on our way to get some breakfast.
We met up with Musashi. But Mutsu were no where to be seen.
She did not show up until it was time for the mission.
She just ignored us and went to her launch platform

This was not a small mission four Battleships and two carriers with five Destroyers as escorts.
And when we arrived to our target we could see why. A heavily fortified Abyssal stronghold.
But before we could take care of the enemy base we will have to deal with an enemy fleet.

When the battle was almost over. I noticed torpedos heading towards Mutsu.
"MUTSU TORPEDOES!" I screamed but she ignored me and did not move.
(I heard Nagato try to warn Mustu of torpedoes. But the torpedoes went of. And we heard Mutsu scream. When we looked over to see what happened she had been knocked back of her feets but she had a bloodied Nagato in her arms unconscious. She seemed had moved between her and the torpedoes. "Nagato!" Yamato screamed and started to sail over there. but I stopped her. "We have finish this first sister."
She nodded.
It took a bit longer with two ships less. but in the end we won.
the fleet pulled up to Mutsu and Nagato.
Me and Yamato took care of Nagato. She was alive but badly wounded.
The two carriers Souryuu and Hiryuu helped Mutsu up.
When we arrived back to the naval area. We took Nagato directly to the medbay.
I left Yamato there and went to look after Mutsu.
I found her sitting on her launch platform. She had not moved since coming back.
"Are you here to yell at me? That this is all my fault" She said and looked back up at me.
"A part of me would like to. But that won't change anything. What I am going to say instead is that she is going to survive" I replied.
And when I said that she seemed to look a bit more a relived.
"Well I am going ask one thing however. What a hell were you thinking?! Ignoring Nagato's warning like that!" I said.
She looked back down on the ground and said with tears coming down her cheeks. "i'm Sorry"
"Well try to be there when she wakes up at least." I said and patted her head and left.)

When I woke up. Yamato was sleeping in a chair next to my bed holding my hand.
I looked around the room and found Mutsu standing in the corner.
"I'm sorry." She said. I could hear that she was crying.
"It is I that should be the one to say sorry here." I replied and tried to wave her to come closer.
"But I was the one that got you hurt!" She almost screamed.
I could hear Yamato wake up next to me.
"But it was me who hurt you first. I should have told much earlier. And this would not have had happened." I said and smiled.
"But" She said.
"Come here." I said and lifted my arm.
She finally came closer.
I put my hand on her chin and said "We can never go back to be together. But you are still my Ship sister and no matter what happens I will always care for you."
She broke down in tears.
"Come here." I said and I hugged her.
I looked over at Yamato who was just smiling she also had tears coming down her cheeks.

I was in the medbay for a few days. And during those days I got frequent visits from both Yamato and Mutsu.
And when I was finally able to leave. Everything was back to normal. Well as normal as it could be.

Hope you all liked it. Reviews are always welcome.