Whirlpool

Some warnings: Rated M because of reasons. This is a FemNaru story because hey, why not? Also, Kakashi is a bae.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway" –Eleanor Roosevelt.

Kakashi woke up with the urge to pour bleach into his head in order to fry his brain. Once again, he had dreamt about her. Each dream started differently, but ended the same –with him fucking his sensei's daughter senseless and her screaming his name in pleasure.

'I am disgusting.' Kakashi thought grimly as he got up from his bed and walked silently to his bathroom, removed his mask, and splashed water on his face. He tried to ease his erratic breathing and calm his racing heart. He looked down and gave his hard-on a poisonous glare. Without turning the lights on, he stripped and stepped into the shower under the cold water spray.

It was still the middle of the night.

This had been his routine for the past three years –ever since she had come back from training with the Toad Sannin. He didn't really know when he had started developing feelings towards Uzumaki Naruto, but by the time he had realized, it was already way too late. To say he was constantly angry at himself was an understatement, because he was supposed to think of her as his little sister and not, not… Not like that!

But he couldn't help it. He had tried, though. Had slept with a couple women because at first he thought he was just sex-deprived and since Naruto was the prettiest female he knew (at his standards at least) he couldn't help but think of her that way. It had taken him a little more than eight months to realize that that wasn't the case. It was her, he wanted her.

Which was one of the reasons he was scum and deserved to have his cock cut off and fed to Inuzuka ninken. Also, his sensei was probably cursing him from his grave. Kushina-san too, probably.

He was fourteen years her senior.

'I am truly, truly disgusting.' He thought again as stepped out of the shower and dried himself before walking back to his room and sliding under the covers, still butt-naked.

But now he couldn't sleep, because the events of his previous dream were still fresh in his mind.

In his dream, they had been dating. They were on a movie night of sorts, in his apartment, and she was wearing his shirt and looking adorable and sexy in a way only she could pull off, and then he had kissed her (because hey, they were dating) and one thing led to another and eventually he had found himself buried deep within her, her walls clenching and unclenching as he moved faster and faster…

He slapped himself out of his own thoughts. Nothing good would come out of them. With a heavy sigh, he glared once again at his new hard-on.

This was going to be a painfully long night.

Uzumaki Naruto awoke at seven in the morning of a sunny Tuesday feeling like she wanted to die. With a groan she got up from her comfy bed and glared at her bloodstained sheets before removing them and throwing them into the washer with tons of bleach and soap. Feeling like she was going to throw up all over the place, she got into her shower without even removing her clothes and sat under the hot spray whilst clenching her stomach and feeling the urge to cry like a hormonal idiot.

Which right now, she was.

'You could have warned me, you know.' She thought reproachfully.

'Be grateful, brat. This could have been worse. It's not like it is my fault you are a female, and a human one at that' replied Kurama's deep voice from deep within her mind.

'Well, it is your fault that my period is a little bitch.'

'Shut up. I am tired, and I can't be paying attention to your body all the time, you ungrateful kid.'

She groaned as a particularly painful cramp made her feel like she was about to faint.

To be honest, whenever she was on her period, it was always this bad. Good thing was, because of the giant chakra fox sealed inside of her, her menstrual cycle was doomed, and she only got her period about twice a year, with a heavy flow that would last about three days, no more.

Just three really bad, awfully crappy days, in which she would throw up, cry, and eat lots of ice-cream and lots of ramen while watching really bad soap operas on T.V.

Normally, the fur-ball would tell her when her days of doom were nearing and she would ask for a few days off so nobody would come see her in such a state, but this time, her period had bitch-slapped her with ultra-force and the element of surprise. She assumed Kurama was still tired from the war (which had ended about six months ago) and that that was why he hadn't warned her this time.

She groaned once again as she slipped out of her wet clothes and bathed, making sure she was clean and squeaky before stepping out of the shower and dressing in a comfy shirt and loose black shorts (and wore an extra-large pad). Then she went back to bed and took a couple pills before turning the T.V. on.

This was going to be a painfully long day.

If Hatake Kakashi was to be asked to give an honest excuse as to why he was late for his meeting with the Hokage, which had been programed for seven in the morning and to which he had turned up to at ten thirty, he would have never said he had overslept because he had spent a good part of the late night and early morning jacking off to unhealthy thoughts about his younger student, until his hand and arm hurt like a bitch and he was simply too tired to keep up and had just drifted off to a gratefully dreamless sleep.

So when Tsunade demanded an explanation, his only answer was:

"I got lost in the road of life."

If Kakashi hadn't been an elite ninja, the flower pot that had been aimed for his head after that answer wouldn't have been avoided, and he would be either dead, or with a bitch of a concussion. Thankfully, he was a super-cool ninja, and was now eyeing the lilies on the floor while Sakura and Shizune tried to calm the Hokage, and Sasuke remained silent on the opposite end of the room, brooding quietly, as usual.

He scanned the room with a lazy gaze, and found something was amiss.

"Where the fuck is the Uzumaki brat?" Tsunade asked angrily, voicing Kakashi's thoughts (though in a certainly ruder manner).

"I haven't seen her today at all. It's weird, since she's usually early." said Sakura, gazing at Sasuke and Kakashi as though they knew something.

They did not.

"I haven't seen the idiot either"

"I have not seen Naruto today either, Hokage-sama." said Kakashi calmly "Perhaps she is ill?" because really, what other explanation was there? She was never late, and she usually enjoyed visiting Tsunade (even when it was just mission reports).

"Fuck this. Hatake, report. And after you are done with that, go look for the brat and bring her to me."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

For the fifth time in the day (and it wasn't even past lunch) Naruto made a trip to the bathroom to change pads. Her insides were twisting and turning in a most unpleasant manner, and she had already thrown up once.

She was kind of expecting the knock on her door, really. It was only natural, since she hadn't told Tsunade about her upcoming doom (only because she hadn't know about it herself) and her team had a mission report due in the early morning (which, if the world was still round, had just ended recently, since it was barely half past eleven and Kakashi had probably showed up to the Hokage tower like, half an hour ago).

Dude, the granny was going to be pissed.

She might forgive her though, once she learned about Satan's Waterfall taking control of her life.

She'd better bring her some sake, just in case.

The knock came again, this time more forcefully.

"Come in!" she yelled as she came into her living room and took her place in the sofa, under a thick layer of blankets.

The door opened and she grabbed the tube of chocolate ice-cream as she made place for (assumingly) Sakura to sit.

"Sakura-chan" she groaned, paying attention to her soap opera "I'm having the worst day ever. Please tell granny that my insides are being ripped and that I need like, I don't know, two days off or something."

"What?" the reply came from a definitely masculine and deep voice –so obviously, not Sakura-chan.

Naruto gave a squeak that many pairs of ears would consider offensive, and jumped in a certainly unladylike manner to face her intruder.

"I feel almost offended, that one of my own students can't recognize my chakra signature" Kakashi said, feeling a bit offended, because really, this was basic stuff.

Naruto looked like shit, though, and she had mentioned something about her insides being ripped or something of the like.

"You look like shit."

"Well thank you, Mister Gentleman. I wouldn't know if you hadn't just told me." Came the bitter answer, as she readjusted herself in her sofa. "It isn't my fault the Devil's River decided to drip off of my vagina, you know? These things happen. Basic anatomy, sensei." She said before stuffing her face with a spoonful of ice-cream.

"…The Devil's River?" what the fuck

"My period, sensei." She moaned as she scooped more ice-cream.

"Oh" came Kakashi's answer. She looked at him and saw he looked visibly uncomfortable.

He stayed silent.

"Did granny ask you to look for me?"

"Yes. She wants you to report to her, actually."

"Kakashi-sensei" she said "Can't you just tell her I'm on my period? I'm really not feeling well, and I'm with a heavy flow here, so could you just tell her it caught me unprepared and that I'll be fine in a few days? Please?" she said , staring at him with big, blue, puppy eyes.

Damn it.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes and considered the possibilities. He could do as she asked (which seemed surprisingly reasonable, even if she didn't look as bad as she said she felt), he could take her to Tsunade himself, or he could just avoid it all and have Sakura deal with this.

Yeah, the Sakura option sounded great. Female friends, who understood heavy menstrual flows and cramps, and the shitty soap opera that was playing on Naruto's TV sounded just grea–

The sound of painful vomiting came from Naruto's bathroom.

Kakashi blinked and wondered, as he stared at the empty sofa before him, how could he not have sensed his student moving from her visibly comfortable spot?

He made his way to the bathroom and found Naruto hunched over her toilet.

Even as his nose twitched at the smell, he knelt beside her and pushed her hair back until she was done, awkwardly rubbing her back.

Maybe she did feel as bad as she said she did.

"Right. Naruto, I'll go report to Hokage-sama." He said as he got up, itching to leave this uncomfortable situation.

"Kakashi-sensei" she asked with a raspy voice.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Could you bring me some pads when you are done talking to granny? Pretty please? The big one, for heavy flow. Could you?"

Even as he nodded his head, Kakashi felt dread deep in his core.

This was not was he had expected from the day.