Disclaimer: I own nothing to due with Gilmore Girls (the most super awesome show on TV!!) except for the plot of this story : ) The title came from the love theme from Romeo and Juliet, if you haven't ever heard the song, I suggest you check it out - it's really pretty!

A Time For Us

"A time when dreams so long denied, can flourish

As we unveil the love we not must hide . . ."

Chapter One: Facing Reality

            ** The wind lifted up her long hair and tossed it playfully.  The bright sun seemed dull compared to the warm radiance in her smile.

            He stared at her.  Content with the world that now made sense.  The rest of the world stopped and time suspended around the two of them . . . for the moment they were together.  And he would live for the moment. . .**

*****

            "Jess, I don't think this is going to work out."

            Jess Mariano stared helplessly at the girl in front of him.  He had expected this really . . . it had only been a matter of time.  It was all his fault their relationship hadn't worked out , and yet he knew if he had the chance to do it over again, nothing would change.

            The girl in front of his was every man's dream woman.  She was beautiful and athletic, funny and smart, sweet and kind.  They had dated for over a year now, and that was long enough for him to realize what a treasure she was.  But he couldn't make himself love her.  As incredible as she may have been, she did have one fault.

            She wasn't Rory Gilmore.

            Jess sighed, "Alyssa . . ."

            "No, Jess. I've tried to make this work, I really have.  I mean I think you're wonderful and I care about you so much.  But the more time that passes, the more obvious it becomes that you don't care about me the way I care about you.  When we first started dating, I knew you were still getting over someone else, but I had no idea that you would never be able to let go.  What we're doing isn't fair to me, Jess.  I'm falling in love with you, and the longer we stay together, the harder it will be for me to leave."

            "I'm sorry, Alyssa, I never meant to hurt you." 

            And he hadn't.  When Jess had first met Alyssa, he had been captivated by her smile and her sense of humor.  For the first time in what seemed like forever, he had felt like maybe he would be able to go on with his life.  He had tried so hard to put the past behind him, and he thought that maybe Alyssa would be the girl to help him finally succeed.  He had been wrong.  He wasn't ready to move on, and he was starting to come to the painful reality that maybe he never would be.

            "Good Bye, Jess," Alyssa kissed him softly on the lips, and walked away from him, forever.

            Jess felt nothing.

            Alone again, Jess looked around his apartment for something to occupy his thoughts.  Standing up, he began mindlessly walking.  He didn't have a destination in mind, but he knew where he would end up.

            Walking into his room, he opened the drawer, and pulled out an old picture, torn and discolored from age and being handled so often.  At the sight of him and Rory, so young and so happy, the tears began to flow freely.  He would never get over losing her . . .never.  Honestly, he didn't really want to. 

            Rory Gilmore had been a the most incredible person he had never known.  She had been a jewel in a world that was so quickly turning to nothing but stones.  It was so unfair that she had been taken out of it . . . so young, when she had had so much too offer.

            His eyes returned back to the two of them.  The picture had been taken just a week before it had happened.  They had spent the whole day together, because that evening Rory had to return to Cambridge for the summer session at Harvard, and he had to return to his apartment in New York.

            She had been flying to New York when the plane had crashed.  He still blamed himself for what had happened.  She hadn't been planning on coming, he had called her up at the last minute and asked her to come.  He had been planning on proposing. . .

            He could still hear Luke's devastated voice on the phone . . .

            ** "Plane crashed . . . no survivors . . ." **

            It had been more than he could handle.  In that moment, everything worth living for had been taken away from him.  He had packed up, and left . . . never to be seen again.

*****

            "Rory, will you marry me?"

            Rory Gilmore stared down at the hopeful look in Hayden Clarke's eyes.  The question had come out of nowhere, and she was shocked beyond belief.  She abruptly sat down in the chair next to Hayden's, and stared at her shoes in disbelief.  Suddenly it was as if everything important in her entire past was passing before her eyes, and it had very little to do with the man sitting next to her.

            "Rory? Rory, are you alright?"

            Rory looked up at Hayden with sadness in her eyes.  The full realization of what she had done to him overwhelmed her, and she was suddenly filled with guilt.  Hayden was such a wonderful guy.  He was so great to her, and she really did care about him.  They had dated for nearly two years now, and she had never once given him the indication that anything was wrong.  Of course he was proposing to her . . . Rory knew he loved her, and she had led him to believe that she loved him as well.  Rory had been trying to convince the herself that she really had moved on . . . and in the process she had convinced everyone around her.  She had hurt so many people in the process of dealing with her grief.

            It had gone far enough.  She wouldn't continue to hurt innocent people.

            "Hayden, I'm sorry . . . I can't marry you."

            Rory felt her heart sink at the crushed look in Hayden's eyes, "But why, Rory?  If we both love each other, why shouldn't we get married?"

            She took a deep breath, "Because I don't love you."

            "What?" Hayden looked devastated.

            "Hayden, I've been awful to you these past few years.  I never meant to hurt you, I swear.  And I really do care about you, but . . . well, you knew that I was dealing with a lot of issues when I first starting seeing you.  I guess, I guess I just never got over all of those issues.  Hayden, you're an amazing person, and someday you'll make some woman very happen.  But that woman isn't me. . .  You deserve better," she whispered quietly, "I'm so sorry I hurt you.  I honestly didn't even realize what I was doing until a few minutes ago."

            "Rory . . . please, don't do this," Hayden looked at her with pleading eyes.

            "I'm sorry, I just can't . . ."

            Hayden stood up, blinking, trying to hide the tears that Rory knew were about to fall.  He kissed her deeply, and then walked quietly out of her apartment.

            Alone, Rory started to cry. "Oh God, what have I become?" she whispered, her voice filled with anguish.  The last few years suddenly seemed so empty.  What had she done? 

            Standing up, she wandered into her bedroom.  She quietly made her way to her overflowing bookshelf.  In the far corner, she pulled out an old, worn copy of Oliver Twist.  Opening it to the middle, she pulled out a small picture.  Seeing her and Jess . . . so young and so happy, her tears began to fall freely.  She made her way over to her bed and collapsed.  She curled up in a ball and let all the pain she had been storing for nearly two years come crumbling out.

            Once her tears had subsided, she sat back up, and looked down at the picture once more.  It had been taken only a week before the crash.  She could still remember the phone call . . .

            ** "Rory, can you come up to New York, I have to talk to you?"

               "Jess, can't you talk to me over the phone?   I have a big paper I need to finish before Monday?"

               "Please, Rory, I really need to see you in person, there's something I need to ask you."

              "Alright, alright, I'll fly up." **

            Rory never would have agreed, but in her heart she knew that Jess was going to ask her to marry him.  It was the question she had been dreaming about for so long . . . She couldn't take the chance of missing her opportunity.  She had been so girlishly excited when she had boarded the airplane . . . Only, she never made it to New York.

             The crash had been horrific.  A nightmare that she would never forget.  The screams, the fire, the panic, the dull pain disappearing as she had slid into unconsciousness.

            The original report had been no survivors . . . but they had been wrong.  There was one survivor. . . Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. 

            After weeks of being in the hospital, Rory became conscious enough to tell the doctors who she was and where she came from.  Less than a few hours later, her room had been filled with family and friends.  Practically the entire Stars Hollow population had shown up to welcome Rory back from the dead.  Rory had been shocked at how awful her mother had looked.  She was so thankful she hadn't died . . . she would have hated for her Mother to have to live like that. . .

            Rory's mind fast forwarded to a few hours later.  To that fateful conversation between she and her Mother, after everyone had left . . .

            ** "Mom, Where's Jess?  Why isn't he here?"

              "Oh, honey . . . When Jess found out about the crash . . . he was so devastated that he . . ."

              "That he what, Mom?"  Rory was slowly beginning to panic.  The tone in her mother's voice was scaring her.

              "He left Rory . . . nobody knows where he is"

              "He what?"  Rory's voice had sounded so small.

              "Hey relax, sweetie, we'll find him.  Right now all that matters is that you're alive and okay." **

            Rory remembered how hopeless Lorelai had sounded when she had promised Rory that they would be able to find Jess.  Rory later found out why.  As it turned out, they had already spent the past month searching for Jess in every way possible, to no avail. 

            Rory still hadn't given up hope.  She had devoted over a year of her life to finding the man she loved.  When it became clear that Jess was gone for good, Rory was devastated beyond belief.  She moved to Cambridge permanently to finish school.  She basically cut off all ties to her Mother, Luke, Stars Hollow, or anything else that had reminded her of Jess. 

            And then she had tried to move on with her life.  Now, so many years later, she came to the painful conclusion that she would never be able to move on with her life . . . not without Jess.

A/N - Well what do you guys think?  Just a little idea I had that I decided to throw out there.  I most likely won't continue If I don't see enough interest.  Oh well, Anyway I just want to wish everyone a HaPpY HoLiDaYs! Bye ya'll!!