"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"

Rated T for mild language and violence

Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for $1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal. With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces, and two rings to match the carnage, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney or Nickelodeon. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Pre-show Interviews

Both current WWE backstage interviewers Renee Young and Jojo were shown on both the interview area and locker room interviewing some of the 50 contestants that were competing in this once in a lifetime event. Some were returning favorites, and some were new to the event. The interviewers decided to get their opinions coming from the returning favorites first.

THE RETURNEES

Steve Urkel's Interview

Renee Young was at the locker room area with Sitcom Royal Rumble returnee and Family Matters nerd, Steve Urkel.

Renee Young: Steve Urkel, you managed to amaze everyone by being the longest-lasting Rumble participant in the first ever Sitcom Royal Rumble. How will you fair this year?

Steve Urkel: Very well, my lovely Renee. I know having to be in the ring the longest feels like an accomplishment, but to me, it wasn't enough. I needed the victory to show Laura that I'm more than just a nerd who annoys her, Eddo (Eddie Winslow) and the Big Guy (Carl Winslow) through and through. I want to prove to everyone that I deserve victory more than anyone. I'm pretty sure everyone's thinking about the same thing. But regardless what happens in this match, I'm gonna give it my all and there ain't a sole to stop me!

And then, Urkel snorted in victory, therefore ending the interview.

Al Bundy's Interview

Jojo stood alongside Married... With Children shoe salesman Al Bundy in the interview area.

Jojo: Al Bundy, you're returning in your second Royal Rumble match. Any thoughts on this event.

Al Bundy: To be fair, Joe, I have. And I would have won it if it wasn't for that meddling suspender-strapped nerd. I hate how that Urkel guy snorts, it's like my big red-headed wife sleeping after sex. Heaven knows I don't wanna go there for sure. Victory isn't gonna matter anymore for Touchdown Bundy though, he just wants a piece of Urkel. And some of that burger down at the catering area, I haven't ate since the last two weeks, damn wife. I'm gonna look at that burger and pretend it's Urkel. I'm gonna chew him up and spit him out. That's what I plan to do to everyone, you know. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta warm up.

To end out the interview, Al brought out his signature newspaper and took it with him to the nearest bathroom.

Austin Moon's Interview

Renee Young was still at the locker room area, this time standing before the rockstar of Austin & Ally, Austin Moon. His songwriting girlfriend, Ally Dawson, wasn't with him this time.

Renee Young: Austin Moon, you made an impressive showing at the last Royal Rumble, eliminating five people from the match. Now you're back to compete in the match, alongside Ally Dawson. However, people are questioning your somewhat short-lived alliance with Liv Rooney in the match. Any explanation why?

Austin Moon: I'll be a man of my words, but sometimes, it's just me. I mean, I know Liv's a great girl and all, but Ally is amazing. She totally understood why Liv did what she did to me. I understand that you think of interesting ways to win. And even though Ally didn't appreciate the kiss that Liv gave me, I see why she's being a sport about it. This Rumble I'm gonna be in, I'm gonna try to get Ally and Liv to form an alliance with me, so competition between the three of us can get a little friendly. I mean, Randy Orton did it at the 2009 Royal Rumble, why not me? Trust me, I know it's gonna work. Anyway, wish me luck. I gotta train!

Liv Rooney's Interview

JoJo stood at the interview area next to the blonde starlet of Liv and Maddie, Liv Rooney.

JoJo: Liv Rooney, you made quite a buzz when you kissed Austin Moon at the last Royal Rumble, forcing him to get eliminated. Why did you do what you did?

Liv Rooney: I had good reasons why I kissed him. In this Royal Rumble, you have to do whatever it takes to eliminate those close to you. I know I felt a little bad what I did, but when you're an actress of a famous musical sitcom called Sing It Looooooooud, you gotta be willing to take risks. I know that kiss was a little sweet and sure it pissed Ally off, but she understood everything I said to her. So I came up with a little gameplan. It's gonna be me, my sister Maddie, Austin and Ally forming an alliance, making sure that we end up as the final four. After all that's said and done, we fight it out to see who's walking away with that million dollars. It's gonna be sweet victory at the Rooney household, let me tell ya that.

Tyler James's Interview

Renee Young was next to the locker room area where Sitcom Royal Rumble winner and Dog With A Blog's own Tyler James was standing.

Renee Young: Ladies and gentleman, with me at this time, the winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble, Tyler James. Tyler, you made one of the most greatest showings in last year's Sitcom Royal Rumble, eliminating 12 people on your way to winning $1,000,000. How will this year be different?

Tyler James: This year's going to be totally different for sure. For instance, my girlfriend Nikki and my dog Stan's gonna be competing this year, which is strange and awesome considering than an actual dog's gonna be fighting! How awesome is that? But all serious here, I'm gonna fight my way through 49 other superstars both old and new for a chance to win that million dollar prize, again. With that money, I can by a thousand bikes, maybe open up a dream bike shop with Nikki! Once again, how awesome is that? Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta fix up my hair for the big event. Don't want to get it ruined on my way to victory.

THE NEWCOMERS

Emma Ross's Interview

Jojo was still at the interview area, standing beside the oldest of the Ross kids from Jessie and camper from the new Disney show BUNK'D, Emma Ross. She was dressed totally different, paying homage to the Straight Edge superstar CM Punk. She even had CM Punk's famous Ice Cream Bar t-shirt for extra luck.

JoJo: Emma Ross, you're feeling pumped for tonight. How is that?

Emma Ross: To tell you the truth, there's a warzone going on tonight. To be prepared for war, you gotta suit up. Which is good because I don't want my precious hands bloodied up really bad. But if it's for that million dollars, then it's gonna be worth it. I've been through the good times, and I've definitely been through the bad, but me and my family always stood tall no matter what came our way. This is gonna be different, considering I've got other 49 contestants to go through. So to those contestants who stand in my way, here's a certain saying I've learned from a straight edge superstar, 'It's Clobbering Time'!

Dwight Schrute's Interview

Renee Young was still at the locker room with Dwight Schrute from NBC's The Office.

Renee Young: Dwight Schrute, any thoughts on your first Sitcom Royal Rumble.

Dwight Schrute: I got a lot on my mind for sure, Renee. Either this may be the most important match of my life, which is weird considering this is the first time I've ever competed, or I'm doomed from the start. Either way, the guys down at Dunder Mifflin's got my back. I'm not sure if one of them's gonna be there to watch my back at the Rumble, but I'm positive I'll survive. The only thing I gotta do next is find out which gravesite I wanna be buried then after this is over.

Charlie Kelly's Interview

JoJo stood beside It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia bar owner Charlie Kelly down at the interview area.

JoJo: Charlie, got any comments leading to this event knowing this is your first time in a match like this.

Charlie Kelly: Of course I do. It's a matchup full of f***ed-up lunatics. They're more crazier than the bar that me and my friends own, except it makes our bar fights look like the f***ing holocaust. I mean, in the last Royal Rumble, you had nerds, police officers, a shoe salesman, pretty boys with girly hair, scientists, psychologists, stoners, hot blonde women, crazy-ass drunks, idiot foreigners, religious nutnobs (take note Mike Seaver and Jake Harper), bald bailiffs, bikers, castaways with LL Cool J hats, high-schoolers, and Costanza! I don't know how f***ed up this year's Rumble's gonna be, but I'm going all the way regardless who's in there. Freaks don't have a chance against me, that's for sure!

Cory Matthews's Interview

Renee Young was standing before Riley Matthews's father from Girl Meets World, Cory Matthews down at the locker room area.

Renee Young: Cory Matthews, this is your first Sitcom Royal Rumble. Any thoughts going into this event.

Cory Matthews: I've got a lot of thoughts that's for sure. One of them is making sure that my daughter's not in this. Of course, I got no idea who'll be in, considering we had a mysterious drawing held early. Seriously, someone made a godawful picture of Hulk Hogan dressed up as a KKK member outside the building, and some angry black people are gonna come barging in like an angry mob. I'm telling ya, it's like we're living in the early 60's. But enough about that, I'm curious to see who'll I'll have to fight. And no matter what comes between me and anyone else, regardless if it's my daughter, her friend, or perhaps... *shudder*... Farkle, I'm gonna make my family and friends in New York proud.

Tim Taylor's Interview

JoJo stood next to Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor from Home Improvement down at the interview area. Around his waist was a belt of tools that he wanted to use on occasion.

JoJo: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, you're known for your creativity with tools. Any tools you plan to use for the Rumble?

Tim Taylor: If you're talking about the tools to win, than that's what I'm gonna do. You may think I start off with a power drill or a wrench, but this Sitcom Royal Rumble, I'm using the one tool I can rely on... my fists. Sure I may use a drill or wrench if necessary, but nothing sounds good than the ol' bloody knucks. It's been used to get rid of nails, just like I'm gonna rid every 49 people out of that ring. I'll tell ya, this is gonna be quite a challenge for the Tool Man, just like having to shave Al Borland's mother from her hairy legs. Believe me, you don't wanna go there. But you'd gotta be a man willing to go to great lengths to get the job done, and I'm gonna do just that! Uuuuagh?

Yeah, I just had to add Tim Taylor's signature grunt from the show itself. So far, here's what we know about the contestants so far.

Returning:
Steve Urkel (Family Matters)
Al Bundy (Married... With Children)
Austin Moon (Austin & Ally)
Liv Rooney (Liv and Maddie)
Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)

Confirmed:
Emma Ross (Jessie/BUNK'D)
Dwight Schrute (The Office)
Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny At Philadelphia)
Cory Matthews (Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World)
Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)

Rumored (although it may not be true):
Ally Dawson (Austin & Ally)
Maddie Rooney (Liv and Maddie)
Stan (Dog With A Blog)
Nikki Ortiz (Dog With A Blog)
Farkle Minkus (Girl Meets World)

Who will also be included in this 2nd annual Sitcom Royal Rumble? You'll just have to find out later on in the story to find out. Anyway, you've endured the pre-show chapter of the story, next chapter is where the action is gonna be! Feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off! Uuuuagh?