Originally posted on AO3; updated every few days. Total chapter count is 26.

Neku loves Beat and Rhyme like his own family, which is good, because somebody has to. Shiki's his friend, too, but when it comes to the day-to-day, they're from different worlds and it shows. Beat just needed to make one comment about their parents getting on his case about entrance exams for Neku to suggest they have him over for dinner, and the look on Beat's face made his heart hurt.

And Neku doesn't regret that offer, but one step into the Bitou place and … yeah, it's bad. Neku'd brought a nice cake and dressed up for prissy adults' standards and it's still bad, Rhyme sticking next to Beat as they do introductions so Neku has a chance of making a good impression.

God, at least Neku knows his parents don't give a shit; this thing where nothing Beat does will ever be good enough and Rhyme isn't allowed to fail gives him a headache and it's not even about him. He can't imagine dealing with this shit on a regular basis.

`I can't help but think I made the right decision after all,` his phone reads. Joshua, of course, because even when something has nothing to do with him, he just can't keep his nose out of it.

`Don't spy, asshole,` Neku texts back furiously. Beat's looking at him, a bit worried, but Neku just tosses him a shrug. Nothing to worry about. `I didnt even ask you.`

Dinner is … bearable, Neku changing the subject back to himself whenever it sounds like the Bitou parents are going to start in on one of them, and even if he feels like this is too little, too late, at least it's something. They quiz Neku on his cram school prep, because of course they do, but even with the backhanded jabs at 'Daisukenojo's lack of motivation', Neku gets the feeling this is still less painful than usual. Fucking hell.

By the time they finally escape, it's all Neku can do to keep from bursting out laughing, from stress if nothing else.

"I think they honestly think I'm going to be a businessman," Neku says, and Beat snickers.

"You and me both, dude. You and me both."

Rhyme grins, and it's the first honest one he's seen since he got there. "I don't know," she chirps. "I think you both look rather dashing."

"Yeah," Beat says, nodding along, "and we're gonna dash right on out of here." They cackle and share a high five. Man, Neku could sure use a sibling some days.

Rhyme sobers a little and looks up at Neku, face kind enough that he's tempted to ruffle her hair. "So what are your real plans?" she asks. "I think we all know you're not really trying to get into Toudai."

"And thank god for that," Neku says with feeling. Ugh, that's not even worth thinking about. "I just applied to get my family off my back; I'm headed to art school, baby!" He coughs. That sounded less cool than he thought it would. "Uh, that's the plan, anyway."

"Tokyo?" Beat checks. Neku nods. "Figured; couldn't see you going far from home."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Neku growls, and Beat pulls him into a tackle-hug. Freaking - and the guy's still built like an athlete (wow, what a shock there) and, uh, actually, once Neku gets his breath back, it's kind of nice. Uh.

This would be less awkward if Rhyme wasn't there, Neku realises, flushing, and Beat must've had the same thought because he backs away and stares at the ceiling. It's not like they haven't experimented before, but, uh -

Rhyme clears her throat.

They all spend a good few seconds finding something very interesting on the wall, and pretty much the only thing that could make this worse would be Joshua texting Neku right about now. One, two, and - speak of the devil and he … actually doesn't butt in this time. Okay. Neku will take what he can get.

A buzz, and Neku nearly drops his phone like it's on fire. `That's what he said,` texts Joshua, helpfully.

"Will that asshole butt out," Neku growls, and Beat and Rhyme stare at him. "Uh. Joshua."

"Joshua?" Rhyme echoes, and Neku winces. He'd managed to not end up explaining the whole … Joshua … thing to her, and isn't that excited by the prospect of breaking his record.

"Some reaper Neku knows," Beat mutters to her, just loud enough for Neku to hear. "Not really a bad guy, just … fucking weird."

Well, that's not quite it, but it'll do. "Yeah, something like that," Neku says, making a face.

"He say anything to you?" Beat checks, serious, and Neku shakes his head quickly. Not like Beat could really do anything if he had, but you know.

Neku holds the phone up, and Beat squints at it before raising an eyebrow. "He's just being a jerk," Neku says, a bit defensive, and Beat nods.

Joshua probably is just messing with him, but the knowledge that he could be scanning him at any point sinks in his gut like a stone. It's not new, but it's unpleasant all the same. No use dwelling on it right now, though, and he shoves it out of mind. For now, at least.

Once the adult Bitous leave them alone, hanging out at their place is actually pretty nice, and Neku almost regrets not visiting them earlier. Almost. It's not like them hanging out after school is a new thing or anything, but it's … different, when you can have them at either your place or theirs. It doesn't seem like a real friendship before then, and even if neither of them have the sort of families where home is really home … it's still different.

By the time Neku heads back, he's completely fucking exhausted. Thank fuck for overtime, that's for sure; last thing he wants to hear is incredulity that he'd have any legit reasons to be out at night. Not that they even think to check if he's there, half the time, but still.

Please god may Tokyo University of the Arts accept him. He's not sure what else he would do; it's not like he has that many other options.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Joshua, why always the texting. Neku doesn't even need to give him a custom ringtone: he can just guess based on timing and nearly always be right. `Calm down. You have plenty,` Neku reads, and his opinion was not wanted! `Geidai is outside my dominion, but if you absolutely insist, I can call in a few favors.`

"Stop hiding," Neku says, voice flat as he flops down onto his bed. The last thing he needs after a long day is -

- a knock on his door. Of course. "May I come in?" Joshua says, and Neku'd bet money that no one else'd be able to tell he's there. Right now, Neku wouldn't mind being less special.

"Might as well," Neku says, defeated.

Joshua silently opens it, bowing slightly as he walks in and sits daintily on the edge of his bed. Neku glowers at him, as much on principle as anything else. "You're aware you don't really need a degree, yes?" he says, getting right to the point.

"I don't want people to only care about my work because I'm friends with you," Neku states. "Or with Mr H." He won't judge anyone else who uses their connections - sometimes, that's the only way to get a break - but that's not what he wants.

Joshua snorts. "No need to worry about that," he says primly. Neku rolls his eyes. "You're quite good, if unpolished. All of you are," and despite everything, it doesn't ring as empty flattery. Maybe it should, but it doesn't. "All I offer is a foot in the door."

"More like a foot in the grave," Neku grumbles, and Joshua has the audacity to look innocent. Like he hasn't shot Neku multiple times, and isn't probably thinking of it right now. Joshua keeps staring at him, though, until Neku finally looks away. "Look, just …" Neku says, trailing off. He mostly wanted to break the silence. "Stay out of my head, Josh."

Joshua hums, turning up to the ceiling. "I try, Neku," he murmurs. "It's - difficult."

"Difficult," Neku repeats. Honestly, now.

Joshua twines some of his hair around his fingers, though he'd already not had a strand out of place. "An entire district filled with people I need to rearrange, and you're one of the only ones I'm supposed to not listen to. Yes, it's difficult."

"Try harder," he snaps, without real heat. "Make me a pin, or something."

"How?" he asks, plaintively. Like Neku'd know? Joshua is the composer, here. "The player pins use a trace of my power; blocking off my own awareness is beyond my capabilities." He rolls his eyes and adds, "I could look into it again, if you insist, but don't get your hopes up."

"Joshua, I would never expect you to be any less than self-serving," Neku drawls, and Joshua quirks a smile. He's not sure if he means it, is the thing. He trusts Joshua, more or less, but ….

Joshua said 'again'. Maybe Neku can take that at face value, for once. "What about if someone else made a pin?"

"It's no use," he says, smiling sadly. "No one in Shibuya can keep me from looking if I'm curious, Neku dear. I am the composer, after all; scanning and imprinting is my job."

A job most people wouldn't want him to have, Neku mentally adds, but he is the composer. Neku might not have picked him for it if he'd had a real choice, but Joshua probably knows what he's doing by now, and more than that … Neku remembers being a Player. Remembers hearing the thoughts of all the people as they walk by, how they blend together into the melody of Shibuya, each individual only rarely distinct, and how not all of the things he'd done with that were exactly moral.

Neku definitely doesn't regret scanning Joshua in the second week, but Joshua's not the only one who snoops. That's kind of a weird thought.

"Just," Neku says tiredly, "just make sure I know when you're looking."

Joshua's ever-present smirk gains some sincerity as he nods, and Neku quickly adds: "And back off when I tell you to back off."

"I have been, Neku," he says, voice light. "Both of those, even. I'm sure you're very pleased."

Neku glowers at him. No, he's not giving Joshua cookies for meeting a minimum standard of decency. After a moment, Joshua huffs, but he isn't really annoyed. Neku thinks.

Neku stifles a yawn and immediately scowls. Fuck, it's late, and he has school in the morning.

Joshua nods, decisive. "Are you satisfied?" he says patiently, and Neku has to think about it.

"Yeah," he settles on. "Yeah, I guess so." Not like there's much else he can do, he guesses.

"Sleep well, Neku," he murmurs, and then vanishes.

That guy is a handful and a half.

Shiki and Eri are busy again, and it's a bit of a bummer: ever since Mr H found them some internships, they're either busy with those or with their own clothes, and Neku misses them. And he can always hang out with the Bitous, but it's a little strained, what with Neku having applied to a few good schools and Beat - not. Rhyme's still too young, but Beat ….

Neku likes Beat. Beat's his best friend, maybe a bit more than that, and them taking different life trajectories doesn't change that. And Neku knows that, and Beat knows that, but Neku thinks Beat's parents don't know that. Beat doesn't need to tell him that they think he's dragging Neku down for Neku to know they think that, and that's bullshit.

But when are Beat's parents not talking bullshit.

Rhyme wins the latest round of Super Smash Bros, and Neku sighs and sets his controller down. She's gotten kind of impressive at it, even if Neku's pretty sure Beat loses on purpose. But she's good enough she could probably beat him anyway: it's just that asking Beat to actually try to win against anyone he cares about is a bit pointless. They at least leave him for last; he'll play properly if it's a group match.

There's some conversations he needs to have with Beat, and they'd be easier if Rhyme weren't in the room, so he meets Beat's eyes meaningfully and pushes Rhyme off to her homework. She's doing better. She's still not perfect, not even with the direction Beat's said she had before she lost the Game, but she's doing better and really, they're all muddling their way through anyway: she's just muddling more than most.

"You got any plans for - after school?" he asks, and Beat freezes a little. "Like - jobs and shit," he adds hurriedly.

Beat sighs, scratches his head like the answer will fall out with his dandruff. "Man, I don't know," he admits. "I'm thinking electrician or something, yeah? Something where I don't need to worry about messing myself up, you know."

And Neku does know. Skateboarding's awesome, and Beat's good at it, good enough that if he didn't need to be able to pay his own rent, he could go pro, and maybe he'll still manage. It's worth a shot, and that's a dream not worth risking on a manual labor job.

(Maybe Joshua could help him with that, instead. Pull some strings where they could use pulling, rather than wasting Neku's and his own time trying to get him to skip art school. … nah, Neku doesn't want to risk owing him anything. Neku trusts him to an extent, but no one's ever heard of a charitable death god.)

"Well," Neku says slowly, mulling over his words, "if you ever need someone to split rent with, I'm game. Just … not so much while I'm at school."

Beat lights up. "I'm gonna take you up on that, you know," he warns, raising a hand for a fist bump. Neku returns it, because he's not a jerk.

"Good, because I meant it." And hell, Rhyme's not in the room and senior year's rough all over: Neku blurts out, "Can I kiss you?"

"Hell yes."

They're still not amazing at it - seriously, where are their noses supposed to go, and they probably should've brushed their teeth beforehand - but they're learning, and enthusiastic determination to do well by each other wins over technique in all the ways that matter, at least for this sort of thing.

They'll work it out. They're working it out, by inches and in yards, and they don't have to do it alone.

… They're probably not going to ask anyone for help with the kissing, though.