Gamer4 in! Welcome, everyone, to my newest (kind of) story! For those that follow my other series, Mario Mario, welcome! You all know what's going on here! For those of you that don't, read on, if you will, but as a warning, you're going to be pretty dang lost. This is a retelling of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, set in the world of Mario Mario! So, once you wrap your head around the concept of video game characters playing Harry Potter characters acting out Pulp Fiction, you'll have a general idea of what to expect from this story! The story should be... somewhat legible to people unfamiliar with the Mario Mario series, but that's a pretty big should. For now, there's nothing new here- this chapter is the same one just posted as the sixteenth chapter to Mario Mario and the Bottle of Lightning, and is just to set things up. The main story steps in next chapter! So, as ever, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Ugh, new story, means I technically have to use a legitimate disclaimer for once, instead of just rattling off another line of Gordon Lightfoot's Don Quixote... Alright, just this once. I don't own Super Smash Bros., any video game franchises associated with the latter, any video game franchises at all, for that matter, Harry Potter, or Pulp Fiction. This fanfic is just meant to be in good fun... I kill part of my soul whenever I write these things out.

Mario Mario and the Unexpected Drama

Prologue

Who am I this Time?

Mario, Link, Kirby, and Meta Knight all sat at the Nintendo table in the Dining Hall. Link was just concluding one conversation with, "Oh, come on, a morning of toxiecaps and ultimate chimaeras, an afternoon with Lucario, and we don't get this guy until freaking Thursday?"

"Well, what can I say, bro? Sometimes, life just ain't fair," Kirby shook his head.

"Yeah, and why is it whenever someone's saying that, they happen to be the ones life's being unfair in favor of?" Link grumbled.

The conversation was interrupted with the arrival of a pair of yellow-furred mouse pokemon. Do pokemon have fur? Any pokemon afficionados out there want to set my facts straight here? Well, whatever. "Hey, guys, how's it going?" Pichu asked, a wide grin on his face, as there was wont to be whenever he was in a conversation involving his red-hatted idol.

"Pretty well, how about you?" Mario asked cautiously.

"Oh, it's awesome! We've actually got some messages for all you guys!"

"All of us?" Link asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yep, you, Mario, Kirby, and Meta!"

"Wow, even us? Always glad to be included!" the twins chanted.

"And one for Zelda too- where is she, by the way? I thought she always hangs out with you two!" Plusle put in, looking around for the blond sorceress. "Big bro said you guys are the strongest group in the whole school! Can't see one without the other two being nearby!"

"Well, usually," Mario shrugged, not noticing Link turning a violent shade of red at these words, "but right now, she's up in the library. Not even we know why."

"Who sent these messages?" Kirby asked. "Kind of strange, isn't it?"

"Yeah, why didn't they send it in the morning, along with the albatrosses?" Meta agreed.

"We can't say!" Pichu said brightly. "He said to give it to you anonymously! Not sure why he didn't send them with the albatrosses, though..."

"Did I hear there's a mystery around?" asked a new voice, as Pit rose from the ground.

"Whoah, Pit, what the heck?" Link cried, jumping back- Pit had just risen right through his seat. "Where even were you?"

"Just hiding in the background in case someone mentioned mysterious letters!" Pit grinned.

"Well, that works out, because we have one for you, too!" Plusle cheered, producing another letter for the ghost.

"I- I do?" Pit asked, caught off guard.

"Yep! Here you go!"

XXXX

Meanwhile, on the other end of the room...

"I just don't see what's so wrong with it!" Robin was saying, currently in female form.

"Nothing necessarily wrong with it," Lucina was in the middle of shrugging, "but it just gets a tad annoying when your best friend is one gender one minute, and the other the next!"

"It's not like I can help it!" Robin objected, her voice dropping several octaves as she abruptly became a he.

"And you just did it again," Lucina muttered, just as a new arrival stepped in.

"Waluigi got a letter for you!" said the new arrival in a very strange voice, drawing Robin and Lucina's attention to the tall boy approaching them, dressed in purple with a crooked moustache.

"A letter?" Lucina asked. "Who from?"

"Waluigi not allowed to say! He said if Waluigi kept quiet, he'd be number lemon!"

"That... that doesn't actually make sense, Wa," Lucina noted, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever- Waluigi is delivering to you, and Robin, and Waluigi's brother and his friends!"

"You mean Bowser, Ganondorf, and Wario?" Lucina asked, her eyes narrowing slightly in distaste. "Any idea what these letters say?"

"Read them for yourself!" Waluigi objected, handing her her letter.

XXXX

Meanwhile, at the Retro table, a large, beefy senior approached a young man in a red coat. "I knew you'd be coming," the red-coated student noted, raising his hand before the red-haired student could say anything.

"Then I guess you know what I was going to say, then, don't ya?" the other boy guessed.

"Of course- I've got a letter from someone trying to stay anonymous, who couldn't be bothered to send it with the albatrosses, and you want to see what it is just as much as I do."

"Yeah, that's about the size of it," the beefy student nodded his agreement.

"Well, let's not delay things- let's see what it says," the red-coated student accepted the letter being offered him.

XXXX

And a similar scene took place at the Hal table, but they're Hals, they don't really do much, so let's just skip over their scene to a rough transcript of the letters themselves, in the glorious language of cut-and-paste magazine letters-

DEAr mR./MS. (InserT NAMe oF StudENT heRe:)

you ARE CoRDIAlly iNVITed To thE DisUsED cLAsSROOm in THE nortHWest COrner OF THe ThirD fLOOR, oN thE lefT-HANd siDE for A UniquE EXTrA CREdit OpporTUNIty. tHIs METhOD OF writING iS Very TIRIng, SO I'll EXPLaiN TheRe. 8:00 shARP.

-a frIENd.

XXXX

"Well, that's odd," Mario noted, turning the note over as though he suspected a prank.

"Certainly is," Link agreed. "Anything else obvious to note before we decide what to do about it?"

"Well, I don't know about you guys," Kirby smirked.

"But as for me and Kirb, we always look for extra credit opportunities!" Meta grinned.

"So we'll be going, but if you two want to wuss out, you can go right ahead!" the two chorused.

Link gulped- backed into a corner, nowhere to go but to the room mentioned at the proper time. Mario simply shrugged and gave a noncommital nod- he was pretty curious to see what this was about himself.

XXXX

So, at about 7:30 that night, Mario, Link, Zelda, and the twins met up in the Nintendo hub and began making their way down to the room mentioned on the note. "Any idea what this is all about?" Zelda asked.

"Heck if I know- this is a random quicky, it could be basically anything," Mario muttered.

"Does anyone else get the feeling that something bad is going to happen here?" Link asked, looking nervously over his shoulder.

"Oh, will you relax, it's not even curfew yet!" Zelda pointed out. "Nothing bad is going to happen!"

And, indeed, they didn't even run into Mido on their way down the steps and into the room described on the note, where they found a young man waiting for them- he was dressed in a red jacket over a red sweater, with red shorts, red shoes, and hair that was... wait for it... blond, matching up with his tan skin and blue eyes. He carried a shining, light blue, slightly transparent sword over his back. He looked up at them and smiled as they entered. "Ah, so you three got here first! I mean, I knew it was going to happen, of course."

"Aren't you... Shulp?" Mario asked, snapping his fingers as he struggled to put a name to the boy's face.

"Shulk," the boy corrected. "Shulk Clairvoya, Retro. Nice to meet you, Mario!" He smiled as he stood and extended a hand, which Mario shook.

"Guess I don't have to ask how you know who I am," Mario muttered.

"Not by your scar," Shulk smiled as he shook his head. "No, it's my special power. You see..." he paused dramatically as similarly-dramatic music rose up in the background... "I can see the future!"

"Oh, sure you can," Link smirked skeptically. "Let me guess, you're-"

"No, I'm not going to tell Mario he's being hunted by a blue-eyed beast," Shulk interrupted. Smiling slightly, he continued. "That... was what you were going to say, right? Lucky guess!" he added quickly as Link opened his mouth. "And now I sense denial coming on..."

"Well, come on, anybody could have guessed I was going to say 'lucky guess!'" Link objected. "That proves-"

"-nothing?" Shulk concluded.

Kirby and Meta burst out laughing. "Oh, I like this guy already!" Kirby chortled.

"Right up our alley!" Meta agreed.

"Kirby? Meta?" came another voice, and they all turned to see Peach entering the room, followed by two Hals, Lucas Ikari and Maya Fey. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We got letters telling us to come here," Mario explained, drawing their attention to him.

"Oh, Mario!" Peach blinked slightly in shock. "You- you too, huh?"

"Yup. Incidentally, are you the one who sent those letters?" he asked of Shulk.

"No, I'm not," Shulk shook his head. "My friend Reyn gave me one, too. I'm just as much in the dark about all this as you are."

"Pretty strange, isn't that, Mr. Clairvoya?" Link interjected, glaring at him.

"Well, my powers don't work like that," Shulk explained. "I don't see on command- I just get brief flashes."

"Fat lot of use that power is, then," Link scoffed.

"It has its uses," Shulk shrugged. "Incidentally, Mario," he added, turning his attention to said pyromancer, "you're going to find yourself in a pretty desperate situation this winter- you'll know it when it happens- and when you do, I want you to open this envelope and follow the instructions, alright?"

Mario blinked as he accepted the envelope. "Um... if you say so..."

"Oh, come on, you're not really buying this, are you?" Link growled agitatedly.

"You know, you're pretty skeptical for someone born into the smasher world," came Pit's voice as he rose from the ground.

"Guess he's just kind of dense like that," came another voice, as another ghost arrived- he looked almost exactly like Pit, except dressed in black, with black wings, and black hair.

"Hey, aren't you the Nintendo ghost?" Maya asked, interest in her voice.

"At your service!" Pit nodded enthusiastically, bowing extravagantly.

"You're pretty good with ghosts, aren't you, Maya?" Lucas asked, rasing his hand in a cowboy-style gesture at the opening of his sentence.

"Spirit medium, remember?" Maya pointed out. "Yeah, you're the Nintendo ghost, and... well, I don't know who you are," she confessed with an apology in her voice, looking at Pit's mysterious twin, "but I think I've seen you flying around Sierra..."

"Oh, this is my twin, Pittoo!" Pit grinned. "He died the same time as me, but he was part of Sierra..."

"First off," 'Pittoo' growled, "stop calling me by that stupid name. Second, I can speak for myself."

"Oh, hey, quite a few people here already!" came a voice from the doorway, prompting everyone to turn and see Lucina entering, followed by Robin (female) and Waluigi. "Don't tell me we're late!"

"Oh, don't worry, Lucy, a smasher is never late," Shulk grinned. "Or early, either- they arrive exactly when they mean to!"

"I thought we were trying to cut back on references," Mario grumbled.

"Well, hey, I've just been introduced, haven't I?" Shulk pointed out. "Guess I didn't get the memo yet."

Link, meanwhile, was focusing on the new arrivals. "Haven't I seen you three at the Sierra table?" he asked with snide condescension in his voice.

"Link," Zelda muttered warningly.

"I suppose that's pretty likely, given that we are from Sierra, after all," Lucina nodded. "Let me guess- going by your cold condescension for anyone not in your group... you must be in Nintendo."

"You badmouthing my group?!" Link shouted, his hot Faron blood getting the better of him.

"You certainly didn't wait to badmouth mine!" Lucina retorted, glaring daggers right back at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, you two!" Peach objected, standing between them with her arms outstretched. "Link, this is Lucina, she's a friend of mine- she plays bass in our band!" she added, glancing over at Mario, who, remembering their conversation of several chapters earlier, nodded, confirming his remembrance. "Lucina, this is Link, he's my brother, he's a bit of a hothead, but he's really a good guy, when you get to know him!"

"Link, huh? Yeah, I've heard of him," Lucina nodded. "Isn't he the one who crashed a flying phone box into the flaaghra a couple years back?"

Link grimaced at the not-exactly-fond memory. "Yeah, that was me."

"That was actually pretty cool," Robin smiled at him. "Even us over in Sierra heard about that one."

"Robin, don't compliment him!" Lucina objected. Turning, she added, "AND PICK A GENDER ALREADY!"

Link's jaw dropped- sure enough, in the interim, Robin had become male once more. "Wha- what -what the... how...?"

"Oh, that's Robin," Peach quickly explained. "She- well, he, right now- he's kind of like a shape-shifter, but with two pre-set forms- a male one and a female one. He keeps switching between them- he doesn't even remember which he was when he was born."

"Sad, but true," Robin shook his head. "Truth is, I don't really identify as one gender or the other- they're both the same to me."

"Waluigi is feeling left out of this conversation," Waluigi muttered sadly in the background.

"Yo, homies, what the heck is all this crud?" came another voice, causing Mario to experience temporary heart failure as he turned and saw Bowser and his crew entering, Ganondorf dragging a whimpering Luigi in his wake. "We get these letters from that purple ditz over there-" Prompting a shock in Mario as he witnessed Wario looking at Bowser with something very nearly like anger as Bowser badmouthed Waluigi- "and then we meet this wimpola on the way to this room, who says he got a letter, too!"

"Come on, please, don't hurt me!" Luigi whimpered as Ganondorf tossed him into the middle of the room.

"And on top of that, now we find all of you here!"

"Well, I guess it's because we all got letters, isn't it?" Lucina asked, turning to glare at the turtle. "Honestly, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't even turn up!"

"Oh, don't pretend you're any better, little Ms. Sierra!" Link put in.

"Will you shut up with that!" Lucina objected. "Yeah, I'm in Sierra, that does not make me automatically inferior to you Nintendrones!"

"Oh, that is it!" Link snapped and pounced on Lucina.

"This was all foretold!" Shulk put in, prompting Link to turn in and drag him into the fight. One by one, for their own reasons, everybody else joined in, with the exception of Kirby and Meta Knight, who were simply roaring with laughter, until finally, a single voice called out, "STOP!"

Everyone froze where they stood, slowly turning to see two gigantic hands in white gloves floating there- both the Master and Crazy Hands, both in the same place. Everyone pulled apart immediately.

"I see you all got my message," the Master Hand spoke as he floated into the room, looking from one scared face to one indifferent face, to two faces that were still struggling to avoid laughing. "Good, good. And you all came, too. Very good. In fact, I'd almost go as far as to say- pretty good." As he said this, he and Crazy joined together in making the Ocelot gesture.

"Now," he continued, clapping together with Crazy, to great effect, "it is time to explain."

"Sorriez 'bout all dis, guys," Crazy put in. "Me thinks dis might be mesies faults."

"No fault," the Master Hand shook himself. "Just because I got the idea while watching the movie together with you, while eating your homemade pizza, and after drinking six-month-old Mountain Dew out of your old glove doesn't make it your fault. And fault? It's a brilliant idea!"

"And... what is that idea... sir?" Lucina asked, her demeanor much changed from before, when she'd been addressing Link.

"You chosen students of the Smash Bros. School of Smashing... are going to put on a play!" the Master Hand exclaimed delightedly.

There was a long, long silence. Very long. Almost as long as some of the hiatuses back in the age of Dungeon of Secrets long. Finally, the Faron twins spoke up. "Oh, good one, Matty!" they exclaimed. "Two great jokes in two days, very good."

"Not a joke," the Master Hand explained. "I was watching a movie the other day, with the Crazy Hand, eating his old pizza, and drinking six-month-old Mountain Dew out of his old glove, when I had a brilliant vision. It was... beautiful! We would adapt the play to contain all of you children, and you would act it out! It's a brilliant idea!"

Mario couldn't help but notice the Master Hand's speech seemed slightly slurred at the time, as though he was still feeling the effects of that old pizza and soda. "And... you chose all of us because...?"

"That's... that's a pretty good question," Luigi agreed, making the customary hand gesture. "Why me?"

"Or me?" Peach nodded.

"Or me, I suppose," Lucina shrugged.

"Well, I can actually see me," Robin conceded. "Two roles for the price of one."

"You see? Robin gets it," the Master Hand agreed in his 'I'd-be-smiling-if-I-had-a-face voice. "You see, Mario, some are born great, and others have greatness thrust upon them! Even though some of you were only introduced in this very chapter, you certainly deserve a spot at the big time!"

"Well, too bad, 'cause I'm not interested," Bowser growled. "You can keep your play, old man!"

"For once in his life, Bowser's right," Link stepped in. "I mean, I'm all for theater, but not if I'm involved, and if I have to work with that turtle and that... that person..." three guesses who he was glaring at here- "then I'd rather not."

"Oho, but did I mention, this is not actually extra credit?" the Master Hand spoke. "This... is now a requirement. You don't do it, you fail this year."

"What?! That's ridiculous! That's not fair!" Link objected.

"Life is not fair, Mr. Faron."

Link grumbled. "Why do I feel like we just had this conversation?"

"Resistance is futile," Shulk put in. "I've seen the future, and we all participate in the play."

"Oh, really?" Link asked sardonically.

"Really," Shulk agreed. "I play a crime boss, and you two-" he glanced between Mario and Link- "play my underlings!"

"Oh, come on!" Link objected.

"Hey, could be pretty interesting," Mario shrugged. "You know- showbiz! No business like it!"

"Could be a big break," Lucina nodded, stroking her chin contemplatively. "How about you, Maya? Peach?"

"A chance to grace the stage with my presence? HECK YEAH!" Maya whooped.

"Well... I guess if you and Mario are okay with it..." Peach shrugged, a slight trace of nervousness on her face nonetheless.

"And what about us, old man?" Dark Pit stepped in. "How are you going to convince Pit and I to cooperate?"

"Actually, I'm in already!" Pit smiled. "I've always wanted to be in a play!"

Dark Pit sighed. "Of course you have," he muttered. "Okay, how are you going to convince me to cooperate?"

"By having Mido standing by your bones, ready to salt and burn them at a moment's notice until the play's over," the Master Hand retorted easily.

Dark Pit blanched- quite a sight on a ghost. "You wouldn't."

"I would," the Master Hand said in his 'I'd-be-smirking-if-I-had-a-face' voice. "Now, as for the rest of you, Mario, you will be playing a character formerly played by..."

Mario crossed all his fingers, muttering rapid-fire to himself, "Please say Samuel L. Jackson, please say Samuel L. Jackson, please say Samuel L. Jackson!"

"Samuel L. Jackson!"

"YES!"

"Oh, goody for you," Link muttered.

"Oh, come on, Link!" Mario smiled. "We're gonna do it anyways, may as well have fun with it!"

Link took a deep breath, then allowed a smile to come to his face. "Okay... I guess you're right."

"Link, you'll be John Travolta!"

"WHAT?!" Link growled. "That guy's a freaking moron!"

"You don't even know who he is, do you?" Zelda asked quietly.

"Not a clue," Link conceded.

"Lucina, you're Bruce Willis!"

"Isn't that a man's name?" Lucina asked. "I mean, can't you get Robin to do that? He- I mean, she-" she sighed upon looking and seeing Robin had turned female in the meantime- "is half male!"

"Don't object!" the Master Hand said dramatically, pointing at her. "I have two different roles picked out for Robin- your aunt, and someone who'll help Mario and Link out later on. Now, Shulk, you already know who you are, of course..."

Proceedings continued, as everyone received the name of the actor whose role they'd be reprising in this play based on a movie.

"Okay, now, we're going to hand out the scripts!" the Master Hand announced happily. "Take them to your hubs and study them! We'll start meeting up in Wednesday nights in our auditorium to practice, and two weeks from now, we'll be ready to perform!" He sounded so giddy about this.

"Any chance this is actually gonna go well?" Link muttered to Zelda, who simply gave a noncommital, not-very-hopeful-sounding grunt.

"Wait, we have an auditorium?" Mario asked. "I mean, seriously, three years here, half a year of which was spent with the Bomber's Guide to the freaking Smash Mansion, and I didn't know about our auditorium?"

"Enough complaining!" the Master Hand interjected. "And enough talk! We meet back here tomorrow night, same time, for me to show you to the auditorium! It'll be like a field trip! So, to your hubs, study your scripts!"

XXXX

"Is it just me, or is he going a little... senile?" Mario asked of Link and Zelda as they met up in the library to do some quiet line-reading, at Zelda's insistence. "Not just the idea, just... the whole way he was acting back there seemed strange, even for him."

"Hey, eating Crazy's cooking will do that to a person," Link shrugged. "Alright, what's this movie we're playing out?"

Finally, they looked at the scripts. "Huh, that's a weird name," Mario noted, running a finger across the title. "Pulp... Fiction..."

XXXX

And thus ends the prologue to this little story! The first real chapter should be up soon- once more, this was just to set things up, and so someone reading this story without reading Bottle of Lightning can still receive the prologue. You know what, just to make it unique, how about a bit of trivia I forgot to include in the version of this chapter in said story? This chapter's title and Luigi's role in this story are both from a fantastic movie entitled Who am I this Time, about a man who's very timid in real life, but, given a role in a play, he virtually becomes the person whose role he was assigned. Incidentally, I also happen to know someone like this- offstage, the most humble, shy person I've ever met, onstage, anybody, from ruthless killer to trolling spirit to a kid desperate to fulfill his lifelong dream. It was truly amazing, knowing him offstage and watching him work magic on it. Alright, bringing things to an end for now, I suppose it's not overly necessary to R&R this time, I mean, this is something of a repeat chapter, though I'd still appreciate it, and if you do, constructive criticism welcome, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out!