Accelerator: More than a Monster

Where am I?

It's dark. I couldn't see a thing. It's cold. I felt my senses numb. It's suffocating, this darkness. It's as though I was at the bottom of a dark ocean.

I was alone.

But all around me, I heard faint murmurs. Their voices were too indistinct. I could not grasp their true meaning. But I knew they were nothing but words of scorn. They kept chanting curses and threats of death.

Shut up. Shut up. Stop it.

I cried into nothing.

The black haze surrounding me cleared into the blurry image of a familiar woman. Her face was filled with glee. I felt my heart waver at the site. Relief filled my soul.

Mother…

But then she left. And I felt the world collapse around me. My heart crushed along with it.

The scenery shifted into a maddeningly white lab. The faceless scientists injected nameless drugs into my body. Again, only more pain. I cried relentlessly. But that woman's face wouldn't appear this time.

I was cast out of the lab into a city foreign to me. I wandered from building to building looking for some semblance of home. I collapsed at a park bench. I was alone again. Emptiness gnawed away at my fragile existence.

But then a spiky haired boy about my age pulled me by the hand. He was playing soccer with his friends. He wanted me to join. I didn't know why, but I smiled. I grinned like an idiot. The world got all bright for some reason. The sun shining above us, we played soccer until we were drenched in sweat. But in spite of our gasps for breath, we all laughed.

What fun that was.

But it did not last.

One of them kicked the ball too much. The force was enough to break bone for sure. As fate would have it, the ball came at me right at the face.

Not even having the time to fear for my life, I closed my eyes and prayed for the best. But it didn't hurt. Not yet.

I opened my eyes and saw blood. The boy who kicked the ball was now crying. His screams of agony filled the air. I felt the shadows around me darken. The world grew cold. I looked around. All their faces were filled with fear.

Did I do that?

I asked.

I didn't dare hear the answer and ran away to God knows where.

But everywhere I went, no matter how fast my legs could carry me, I could not escape the ensuing darkness.

They came from everywhere. They would try to punch me, but their bones would break. They would fire guns at me, but they're guns broke. Their tanks would fire at me, but their tanks would explode. They're bombs could not hurt me.

I didn't know why it happened. I was scared. I just wanted it all to stop. Eventually, I gave up. I agreed to follow them quietly, but my heart would not stop screaming

No, don't go with the monsters! They're evil!

I was a kid. The world was black and white back then. And the monsters looked pretty black to me. But I still followed them into the dark.

AGH!

The monsters played with my body. They wanted to see how much they could hurt me. They dissected my brain and looked for something they could use. Every day was hell. I kept screaming to no one. The pain would not stop.

Listen, you shitty ass brat, you're not human! You're just a monster we made! Hah!

Huh?

I was the monster? Then what did that make all of them? Nothing made sense anymore. Reason and logic left me.

The pain did not stop. I just stopped feeling it. My unspoken screams were trapped in the prison of my heart.

Fuck you all. I'll fucking kill you all!

I escaped the dark rooms. I hoped the world outside would be brighter, warmer, more welcoming. I was a fool.

Everywhere I turned to, I was labeled a monster. Idiots would come flocking. They would try to prove their strengths to themselves for whatever reason. Then they'd fall on the floor whimpering. They would curse me for being a monster and run home crying.

What the fuck?

They were the ones who started it… so why was I the bad guy? Right, the monster is always the bad guy. Of course, I forgot. That's how things work in this fucked up world.

Ahahaha!

I laughed at myself. I hated myself. I hated this damn monster's power. I just kept smiling like an idiot. I learned that smiling made everything better, even when you're hurting people.

But they wouldn't stop. Pain and suffering followed me everywhere I went. I was sick of seeing their faces in pain. I wanted it to stop.

Then the darkness answered me. It offered me a path to end all this. But for all of it to stop, I would have to sacrifice twenty thousand artificial lives.

I laughed. Only a fucking idiot would choose that path. But I was an idiot. I followed that path all the way down to hell. I realized how desperate I was to rid this curse.

I began killing these middle school girls by the masses. It was crazy. Many times I had to suppress the urge to puke out my insides at the sight of their blood. But something was different. Their faces were blank. They did not have the usual looks of agony I had grown accustomed to. That bothered me. But it helped me kill them not as human beings, but as dolls.

Still, the pain was ridiculous, if my senses had not numbed so long ago, I would have been insane now.

I regretted the path I took. Killing lives was just too much. I looked for an escape route. But there were none that I could see.

I started taunting the dolls. I wanted to make them talk back. I wanted to see them as humans. If they could answer me, then I figured this madness could finally stop.

But they never did answer me.

I kept on killing them. The numbers had passed ten thousand.

I met the original whom the dolls were modeled after. She was furious with rage. If only her dolls could look at me like that.

Then a strange boy challenged me. I figured it would end just like the others. But my powers did not work on him. It was frightening. These powers I bore weren't absolute? There was a way out?

Where the fuck were you all this time?

I was defeated by that strange boy, no, that hero. I see. The hero finally beat the villain and saved nearly ten thousand lives.

Great. This madness could finally end.

Just what I had been doing all this time?

I woke up alive. I had thought I would be killed. Damn, I wanted to at least atone for my sins with death. But that damn hero wouldn't even grant me that.

I walked back into my apartment and downed several cans of black coffee.

The idiots came to me, hording again. It looked like my defeat to the hero had everyone convinced I was now weaker.

Fat chance, you idiots.

I crushed their bones and moved on with my dreary life.

Then that brat came latching onto me.

Was she an idiot? I was the monster, the villain who had killed over ten thousand of her sisters. Why on Earth would she come to me for help?

I tried to shoo her away. She was much safer away from me. But she would not relent. She refused to leave me alone. She reasoned there was more to me than just a monster, more than just a villain.

Those words were stupid, but they felt… stupidly sincere.

Was she right? No, impossible. But still, I could at least help her.

I tried my luck at saving her. But I even managed to fuck that up. Ah, if it were that hero, he could have surely been able to save her.

Fuck that hero! Where the hell was he?

I refused to lose. I took a bullet to the head, sacrificing my brain. Even if I have to die, if I could save just one life, then maybe I could forgive myself.

Surprisingly, I woke up alive for the second time.

I looked to the side of the bed; there lied the brat I managed to save. She was still here? Why? Her business was done with me. Whatever, she would leave, just like her…

But looking at her satisfied sleeping face, I felt a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.

Tears threatened to leak. But I would not allow them to.

She later woke up smiling. She thanked me for my help and ran around the room excited. She told me we were going to be living together in an apartment.

What?

I managed to pull an annoyed face together and hide my anxiety. Would they eventually leave me for the monster I was?

But I couldn't refuse that beam of sunshine running around the room. Completely uncertain of the future, I ventured into it with the brat.

I felt the light welcome me. Two older women and the brat greeted me. They were nice enough. But I had to be careful not to grow too attached. It would be better for everyone's sake that way.

But then the darkness came calling for the brat.

I wouldn't let that happen and tried again at playing hero. I would protect that little brat no matter what. The pain they inflicted on me was nothing to the pain I endured for years. I'll kill them all if have to.

I managed to save her again.

But I realized I could never escape the darkness. That blissful life with the brat under the light was just a pipe dream in the end.

I resolved to face the darkness and protect the small light I had found. I would reach the pinnacle of darkness for that tiny little light.

But I realized just how powerless I really was. The darkness was too great. One of the older women was hurt. I needed more darkness, more power. I let despair take hold of me and crushed everything in my way.

I had become an angel of darkness. But then that angel of light brought me back to the world. Her soft warmth, it was so comforting.

Regardless of her light, I must still face the darkness. It was the only way I could do things. Yes, the only way.

But then her light was endangered because of them. I was powerless to stop them. I fled the country in hopes of curing her illness. There, I met a shadow of my sins. Her anguish was enough for me to despair. Then the hero sprang up from nowhere. But he wouldn't even look our way. The brat I saved was dying and he didn't give a damn?

Fuck you, worthless hero!

I hated him. I hated him for being everything I wish I could be. He could definitely save the brat. There was no way I could.

But then he stopped my rampage once again.

Things like heroes and villains don't matter. If you have someone you want to protect, then fight!

Those carless words stuck with me. I resolved again to face the darkness. But this time, not as denizen of the dark, I was Accelerator. I wanted to protect that brat and would destroy the shitty darkness.

At the near cost of my life, I saved her again.

My final hope was safe.

I could finally walk the path of something that wasn't a monster.

We returned home.

Ah, I now had a place to call home.

Loved ones to call family.

I was not alone anymore.

A/N: Not one of my best works. Everything turned out more "raw" than I would like it to be. But what the hell? Anyways, this is a short take on Accelerator's twisted life. I'm so proud of how far Accelerator has come in the actual stories that I wanted to try and create something that would depict that perilous journey of light, darkness, right, wrong, heroes and villains.

Thanks for reading and do leave a review if you have the time.