A/N: I'm not really sure what this is.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

I loved her.

She was perfection.

She was what everyone should aspire to be.

Everything she did was perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

I should have known.

The ocean is perfect.

Until you drown.

All the voices pounded against my ears.

My mother's.

My former best friend.

Her voice stood alone and it seemed perfect.

She never begged me to stay with her.

Not like everyone else in my life.

So I loved her.

I loved her till my hands were so dirty that I could never see my skin again.

Till I rinsed my hands with blood.

She stayed.

She didn't question or press.

My questions she left to hang in the air till the answer seemed unimportant

She didn't ask if I was still the man I wanted to be

She reassured.

Reassured that my DNA didn't control my life.

But hers did.

I never asked about her history or her life.

I should have.

The ocean always has a story to tell.

She was a match, waiting to throw herself on the gasoline she was slowly spreading over the Grayson's life.

Till she was ready to burn herself with them

So in the meantime we danced in the flames with each other.

But she was weaved out of lies.

The questions began pounding against my skull but I silenced them and assured myself she would tell.

But everything perfect around her seemed to be weakning and I saw what I thought she was.

The betrayal cut into my mind, my stomach, my heart till I knew things would explode.

They did.

I laughed as her blood ran over my hands

Laughed at how I had brought her down.

The very man that had loved her had in turn destroyed her.

So I shook out the game that my life is.

Ready to begin this new part

Planning to remove her from the game permantly.

But she was glued to the board.

So the secret war of blood and sins wore on each destroying the other

Till there was little left to destroy and she walked out the door and the smile I painted on seemed to fade

Because she had won the game.

I hated her with a passion.

I waited for the day her little empire would crumple and fall so she could fell my pain.

Hers already had.

Long before.

And soon it was like the sun started to peek out of the clouds.

Secrets opened up like Christmas cards

And then I saw her for who she was.

And I couldn't help but love her again.

Because it had been my DNA's fault

And all that she hid was slowly revealing itself to me.

I smiled because I had finally swallowed up her secrets.

Yet there was still more.

The lies that held her together- the seams ripped

I reveled in my success at finally understanding her.

She walked away again so soon after I had discovered her.

I needed more

Because I knew I didn't love her and I didn't hate her

So I found her time after time.

Just a line of conversation was all I needed.

I guess I shouldn't have.

I guess it was selfish.

I guess that I should have thought of the little thing that was growing with my DNA

I heard the glass break and I knew she was in trouble.

The game led to two different paths.

The one that my life was on, the one that could be filled with happiness,

The one where I could be the man I always wanted to be.

Then there was the shorter path the one that led to her,

The path that had a grave at the end.

My DNA would not define me.

My father would not tell me how to live.

They would not tell me to hide so I could survive.

To live my life in the shadows because of my sins.

They couldn't

Because I would just be surviving

I wanted fireworks and cake that tasted so sweet that it felt like a piece of heaven

And words that ushered from all corners of the earth to my eyes

I wanted to live.

So I used what little time I had left to live.

And I felt lucky to be able to die for her

To know that many of the people she loved had died.

I now got to join that pile.

The pile of blood and tears and lies that had bonded us all together.

And it turned out I didn't need the other path

I got to be the man I always wanted to be by dying.

It's sick the way life turns out to be.

Now as I feel my life being dragged away from me, I am so happy.

So happy, that I could die in her arms.

Each tear drop she sheds breaks away at my sins washing it away.

I want to say everything

I want to tell her how she is my everything

To say I was sorry for what I have done

But sorry isn't enough

I love you isn't enough.

No words can tell her everything she means to me

They cant tell her that for the past couple of weeks every time I ran into her my heart speed up a little faster.

My smile grew a little wider

My brain paused for a moment just to look at her

I reach up to touch her hair, her face.

The things that have always stayed the same.

I want to smile with great pleasure because I could die for her.

The man who once gave her two bullets is gladly accepting two destined for her.

I realize now that every single I love you meant nothing unless I was saying it to her.

She is my great love, my one love, the love of my now ending life.

I smile at her so she can keep that image in her head.

It's really ironic, my death.

I like it.

I wanted to be a poet.

I wanted to be free, to be everything my name, my money, my blood couldn't give me.

I wanted her.

I hope she knows how much she means to me.

I want her to know that a world without her… I can't fathom it.

I want her to know I'll wait for her

But I can't

It's not me she'll be looking for

She was my one true love

My great love

The only love that mattered

I was her love. A chapter

I hope I go to hell.

So that I never see anything beautiful again.

Because none of it will ever compare to her.

The game is ending and we both know it.

My piece is slowly reaching the finishing line.

I have hope.

Hope that she can finish this war of family's sins and be happy.

For once in her life.

I loved her.

I loved her when she gave me Emily Thorne, the person she wasn't.

When she did everything to make me love her.

When she played her role.

I loved her.

When she showed me Amanda Clarke, the little girl she could never be again.

When she tried to shove me away

I loved her

When she gave me herself, the unnamed girl.

The one I barely knew, but couldn't wait to have her in my arms

I loved her.

I loved her

I loved her

I love her