"We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black." - Amy Winehouse, "Back to Black"

Everyone was surrounding the coffin. Some were crying their eyes out, and others were standing there with expressions of loss. Gwen cried while walking through the crowd, her black makeup smearing down her face. She had not wanted to come, but the thought of not saying goodbye to her best friend would have killed her. She had gathered up the courage to say goodbye to Duncan, the person who had taught her to enjoy life. He had died at twenty-nine years old.

Gwen felt that he had gone too soon, especially since he had been doing great. He had even joined a band. Duncan had made so much progress from his past self and finally had been beginning to enjoy life until he had gone down the road that had killed him.

She pushed to the front of the crowd and stopped near the foot of the grave. Someone patted her back from behind. She turned around to see Duncan's mother. They embraced each other, letting out the sobs they had barely been holding back. At that moment, they were united by one cause. Although they had never liked each other, they often set aside their differences for Duncan's sake, and the most important time to do so was then.

After turning away from Duncan's mother, Gwen remembered when she had first met Duncan. It felt like only yesterday.

Gwen was walking in the rain and holding her umbrella tightly. To her displeasure, a gust of wind blew the latter away, forcing her to run after it while the storm waltzed around her. She managed to catch hold of the umbrella, but not before falling on her face into a puddle. She started to get up when she heard a snicker behind her. Turning around, she noticed a guy who was holding in his laughter.

"Why, I wonder what can possibly be funny right now?" Gwen snapped.

The guy could not hold it in any longer. He bent over into prolonged cackling in a way that set Gwen's teeth on edge. "You- you falling into that- puddle of water!" he said with a high, breathy voice. Laughing for a while longer, he receded into chuckles before finally catching his breath. "It was priceless."

She stood up rod-straight. "Don't you think that's a bit immature for your age?" She grabbed her umbrella and started to walk away.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" He ran up to Gwen and stepped in front of her. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you like that. I was just getting a good laugh."

"Sure you were," she snapped. "People like you are obnoxious. Why am I even talking to you?"

She tried to sidestep him, but he copied her. "I don't know, but I could ask the same about you, Pasty."

"My name is not Pasty, thank you very much."

"What is it, then?"

She considered holding back- until she got a vision of him calling her Pasty in public. "Gwen."

"Ah, Gwen." He smacked his lips. "That name ain't half-bad, sweetheart. I'm Duncan."

"Don't call me sweetheart. I don't even know you."

"Please, all of the ladies know me." He chuckled, making Gwen want to leave- but she could not. There was something about Duncan that drew her to him, the bad boy type. She had always wanted to be a rebel, and now, the perfect opportunity stood right in front of her.

"So, tell me, Duncan," Gwen said, "are you part of a gang of sorts?"

He scoffed. "As if I'm a part of a gang." He jabbed a thumb at his chest. "I'm a lone wolf."

"Hm, who would have known that?" She formed a pout with a bit of smirk. "What a pity, as I love bad boys, and sadly, you're not one of them."

Duncan's unibrow gave a twitch. "What do you mean, I'm not one of them?"

"You're doing a terrible job of lying, Duncan. All bad boys are a part of a gang, and I like a rebel in my life every once in a while."

He pushed his hands outward. "Alright, alright, fine. I admit it. I'm in a gang, but it's more of an underground operation. Promise not to tell anyone? My parents would kill me if they ever found out- especially my mom. It would break her heart to pieces."

"I can't make any promises," she teased, "but I'll try."

He moved closer to her; she made no move to go back. "You know, you're actually pretty cunning. That's the type of girl I like."

She arched one eyebrow while keeping a straight face. "Are you saying that you have a crush on me or what?"

He jerked backward as if just realizing how close he was to her. "No, I don't like you. How can I have a crush on someone I just met? That's stupid. Even an idiot would know that."

Gwen raised her eyebrow even higher. "Are you calling yourself an idiot?"

A muscle jumped in Duncan's cheek. "No."

Gwen could not help but reveal a small smile. She was using Duncan to get revenge on him for laughing at her, but he was not noticing what she was doing. In fact, he was growing more and more frustrated. "Okay, what do you want, Gwen?" he snapped. "Money? Sex? What?"

"I don't want anything from you, Duncan."

"If you don't want anything," he yelled, throwing his arms into the air, "then what the heck are you-"

Gwen started laughing, and Duncan looked at her as if she had lost her marbles. There, in the middle of a rainstorm, she was howling like a hyena.

Eventually, she started to settle down. "Are you alright?" Duncan said, looking at her blankly.

She let out her last few chuckles. "I'm fine. Sorry, I just wanted to get even with you for calling me Pasty."

"I will admit, you are the first chick I've met that's able to do that," Duncan said. "So, nice job."

"Thanks." She raised herself higher. "Well, as much as I hate to leave you here, I have to get home. I'll probably get sick because of how drenched I am. Goodbye, Duncan. It was nice meeting you."

She turned and started to walk away, but then, Duncan shouted, "Wait! Do you think we'll see each other again? Soon?"

She turned back toward him. "Perhaps. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other." Duncan did not speak again as she headed back home.

Gwen remembered that day well, for it was the first time she and Duncan met. Right from the beginning, they had hit off and soon had gotten to know each other. They had found that they shared many of the same interests in food, music, and movies. They had soon grown on each other, with Duncan embracing Gwen's goth style and Gwen loving Duncan's punk style. When she had been with Duncan, she had adopted the rebel heart that she had always wanted. Soon, she had turned her back on her old life and had focused only on Duncan. And soon after that, they had fallen in love.

In another one of Gwen's memories, she and Duncan were laughing over having just egged some couple's car. They ran into the night and bought some cheese spray to use for their next prank down the road, then headed back toward Gwen's house.

"You know, I've had more fun with you than I've ever had my whole entire life," Gwen said, leaning her head on Duncan's shoulder.

He shrugged, bouncing her head up for a second. "Well, Pasty, you had to break out of that shell at some point, so I figured why not."

"Are you ever going to give me a break from calling me Pasty?"

"Probably not."

"Whatever." She nudged him with her elbow. "I don't mind the name, but it does get old after a while, if you know what I mean."

He grinned in a way that almost looked like a grimace. "I do know what you mean. You used to call me Mohawk Boy for the longest time."

"Want me to start calling you that again?"

"No!" He cleared his throat. "I mean, I'm good."

They walked for a while on a sidewalk, switching at random from one conversation to another. After a while, Duncan decided to break the silence. "Gwen, have you ever thought about dating someone down the road? You know, like finding the right guy to spend your life with?" He scratched the back of his head. "If you don't want to answer, that's fine, but I've just been curious, since I remember you telling me you went from one guy to the next when you were younger."

"Oh, no," Gwen chuckled. "I feel comfortable talking to you about it. To answer your question, I have been thinking of finding another guy."

"Oh? And what's he like?"

"Well, it's kinda hard to say. He can be so many different things. He's cunning, but at the same time, has a wild side. He shows people not to mess with him. At the same time, he has a soft and caring side that only a few people get to see."

"Huh, sounds intriguing. You know, I have a crush on this one girl I've been seeing for a while."

"How's she like?" She scrunched her nose. "Probably one of those blonde beauties with the body and the money."

"Please, those aren't even close to my type. I like people who have some actual brains. The girl I like is mysterious and filled with curiosity. She's very talented and knows how to have a good time. She has eyes that make people stop and look at her- they're her best feature. She might not attract many guys, but that doesn't stop her from being who she is." His expression suddenly became bashful. "And- and I admire her for that."

After Duncan finished, they walked in silence but occasionally stopped and looked at each other. The longer they looked at each other, the more they felt a pull at their heartstrings. Finally, they flew into each other in a deep and passionate kiss.

Gwen parted with a gasp, cupping the sides of Duncan's face. "How did you know I liked you?"

"Oh, I have my ways," he said with a wink. "But, Gwen, I can't stop thinking about you. You just drive me crazy, and I..."

Gwen put a finger on his lips, and they sunk once more into deep kisses under the moonlight. Duncan's hands spread all over her waist, drawing out cautious whispers from her.

"You are beautiful, you know that?" Duncan murmured.

She spread out one hand on his chest, her eyes filled with desire. "And you're... something special." With that, she returned all of his advances.

Days like those seemed to be so far away for Gwen. It seemed as if they shared that first profession of their love centuries ago. She tried to dry her tears, but they were falling faster by the minute. She realized that Duncan had made her feel happy, made her feel wanted. And she had blown that away in a heartbeat.

Several months had passed since they had started dating, and things had gone downhill for Gwen and Duncan. At first, they had had a stable relationship, but things between them had soon become rough. It had been as if they had been walking on broken glass. Duncan had gotten into smoking pot and had been spending less time with Gwen, which had clearly been upsetting her, but Duncan had not noticed anything.

"What's wrong with you, Pasty?" Duncan mumbled, walking toward their bedroom. "You've been acting all bitchy lately. You need to calm down."

"I will not calm down!" Gwen screamed. "You have NO IDEA how angry I am right now!" She marched up to him and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to face her. "I am so sick, sick, sick of your shit around here! You leave me for days to go smoking with your joint buddies, and one of my friends said she saw you slow-dancing with some hussy at a bar! If you want out, Duncan, man up and tell me already!"

"Well, excuse me if I'm not that perfect guy you always wanted!" he yelled, turning on her. "It's my life! I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Well, guess what?" she hissed. "I am done playing this game. If you think I'm just gonna stand here wasting my life away, you've got another thing coming, because I will not stand this bull-"

Duncan slapped her across the face, sending her reeling. It took a moment for her to regain her balance; she brought a hand to the spot where he had hit her. Her eyes became stone-cold. Turning on her heel, she stalked quickly toward the front door.

"Gwen!" Duncan cried like a child. "I didn't mean to hit you! I just lost my temper, and- and it got the best of me!"

"I told you before, Duncan," she said, her voice barely audible. "I will not take abuse of any kind. I- I can't take this anymore." She opened the door and looked back at him. "I'm leaving."

"Leaving? But- but where are you going?"

"I don't fucking know!" she yelled. "Somewhere far away, where I can finally find happiness." She jabbed her pointer finger at the floor. "I'm so sick of living this, this ungodly life. I wiped my mouth when we kissed. I WIPED MY OWN MOUTH WHEN WE KISSED!" Her face began to crumble. "I'm just sick of all the drugs and the prostitution! I wanted a free life, but not on the wrong side of things. This is just-" She sobbed and shuddered- "not for me."

"Gwen, wai-"

She left and slammed the door behind her. Duncan stared at it, blinking slowly every few seconds. What he had done had not only costed him Gwen, but their whole life that they had built together. The joy in the apartment had left with her, and it was in the absence of everything Duncan once knew that he realized it was time to change.

What felt like ages to Gwen passed before she heard from Duncan again. She had become an artist and was selling her art on the street. In fact, it had only been the week before Duncan's death when the two of them had run into each other.

Gwen was positioning one of her paintings on the ground when a shadow came over her. She craned her head around, and her eyes widened. "Well, this is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you here. What brings you to this festival?"

"I've been doing great in rehab, so I decided to reward myself by taking the day off from work," Duncan said. Neither of them even attempted to disguise the discomfort in their looks and their voices, resulting in an awkward pause.

Gwen echoed the main word that had caught her attention. "Rehab?"

"Yep. Took me two years, shortly after you left, but I convinced myself that I had to turn my life around." He shifted his weight around on his feet, looking down. "Your leaving actually saved me."

For a moment, her eyes went down, too. Duncan soon brought his head up and looked at her calmly. "Now, I'm in a band, and we just got signed to a major record deal. When I'm not busy beating on my drums, I'm working at this local restaurant. The pay sucks, but at least I can show I'm a human being and admit that what I did before was wrong."

Gwen nodded. After a while of silence, she sighed. "Duncan, listen... I want to apologize for walking out on you. I should've stayed behind and at least tried to help. I was so selfish and thinking only about myself. I haven't dated anyone since. If we're gonna be absolutely honest here, I have been aching to see you again."

He smiled a beautiful smile- one without drugs or alcohol or hatred. "It's gonna take a long time for me to forgive you, Pasty. I'm not mad at you or anything, though. Just a little hurt, but old wounds do heal eventually, as my mom once told me."

Duncan bought one of Gwen's paintings, and he and Gwen proceeded to hang out like old times. However, time for them flew too quickly, and before long, afternoon was turning into evening.

"Is it almost dark already?" Gwen mumbled, stopping on a sidewalk. "Oh, man, I have to close down my stall soon."

"Gwen, before I leave," Duncan said, putting a hand behind his head, "I was wondering if you would wanna come to one of our recording sessions, since I know you have a passion for music."

She smiled. "I would love that. Just call me when you're gonna do it, and I'll be there."

"Don't worry, Pasty. I'll call you."

The call never came. Four days later, Duncan was found dead from an overdose on alcohol. As soon as his life had changed, Duncan had left it, and with him, all of Gwen's happiness. She had had thoughts of joining Duncan, but she had known that he would not have wanted that. He would have wanted her to go on without him, and to eventually let him go.

Gwen sobbed her heart out as the gravediggers buried him. She stayed as everyone else left until she became the only one there. She stared silently at the grave before letting go of the fist-full of dirt that she had held. She shook her head before trudging out, accepting that Duncan had went back to black.

I actually wrote this when I was upset and this somewhat connects back to what's been currently going on in my life. This was my original Summer Secret Santa for Ali6132, but I ended up recycling this for a sad and depressed Gwuncan. This is my first offical oneshot over them and the idea came from Amy Winehouse's Back to Black This is a tribute for her, since she's been gone for four years and the world lost a great musician. This for you Amy. This is for your music.

A special thanks to JojiMC for correcting all of the mistakes in the document and improving the quality. Thank you so much Joanne! I'm glad that you decided to help me and this oneshot owes you a huge favor.

Until next time! Please read, review, favor, alert and spread the word.