Stars in My Eyes:
A/N: This was supposed to be a sarcastic fic about Facebook in the post-apocalypse, but instead this happened. Lots of fluff and general cuteness abounds.
Lexa stepped inside the doorway to the Ark, feeling her chest tighten in apprehension despite the many months of peace between the Trikru and the Skaikru. She would never get used to the stale cold greys of the walls, the heavy metallic taste that hung in the air every time she inhaled. The corridors were sharp corners and disjointed curves, and trying to keep track of where she was always gave her a headache. So she was relieved when she saw Miller approach and give her a casual wave.
"Hello, Commander, looking for Clarke?"
"Sha, Miller, is she near?"
"Sha, Commander, she is in the database room," Miller smirked a bit when he saw the formidable commander raise one eyebrow and narrow her eyes at him. She would never admit to getting lost in the Ark, but they were all well aware of how many times she "wandered."
"Follow this corridor, and after three doors, hang a right and then go through the second door on the left, then take the right split, and then take the…" His voice trailed off as he saw the confusion in her eyes quickly replaced by a growing anger. Right. Perhaps he should just escort her, but how to do so without her knowing?
Lexa barely managed to hold back her snarl, knowing he didn't meant to purposely confuse her. She and Miller had had their moments in the past, when he had found out about her leaving Clarke at the mountain, but they had come a long way since then. But she couldn't ask him for better directions. She couldn't be seen as weak. She was the Heda of the twelve clans, and if she were deep in the woods many days away from her home, she would have easily found her way back; so to be stumped by this…this hunk of twisted metal; was more than she was prepared to admit.
"Actually, Commander, I was wondering if I could speak to you about going on patrol with some of your warriors. Would you mind if I walked with you to the database room, so we could talk about it? If you have the time of course?" He bowed his head slightly, relieved at his quick thinking.
Lexa eyes his bowed head for a moment, wondering if he really wanted to go out on patrol. He went out on the hunts many times, and he was becoming a capable warrior. Perhaps she shouldn't question it, and just accept what he said.
She nodded regally at him, quietly relieved that she wouldn't have to "wander" the corridors again. She always claimed she was simply seeing the sights, but she wasn't sure she really fooled any of them once they came and "collected" her.
That had been most humiliating, the last time she had been collected. It had been Harper, who was quiet and unassuming with a quick smile for everyone. She had attempted to make Lexa feel better by blathering on about how everyone gets lost the first few times, or 15 times in Lexa's case, they visit the Ark. And while the girl had been utterly earnest in her attempt at making Lexa feel better, Lexa had simply wanted to tear her tongue from her mouth as she continued to blather on, entirely unawares at the seething commander by her side.
She was jolted from her thoughts she when realized Miller had both stopped walking and talking. She realized quite suddenly that she hadn't heard anything he had said. He was looking at her quizzically, and he gestured to the door.
"She is in there. So what do you think, Commander?"
Think? Think about what? What had she missed? She tried to hide her growing alarm and then remembered he had asked about patrolling, "Sha, of course, Miller. I think you would benefit greatly from patrolling with my warriors," and she nodded quickly before ducking through the doorway, leaving a slightly confused Miller behind her.
Lexa took a deep breath and tried not to wince at the stale air, but she smiled when she saw the blonde head peeking out from behind one of those things referred to as computers. She made her way over, carefully skirting around tables and counters that glowed and beeped with a myriad of buttons. She knew better than to touch anything. Not after the incident with the blue button.
Although as far as she was concerned, if the blue button had been that important (and judging from the blaring alarms and the people who had immediately panicked, it was important), there should have been at least one guard posted next to the button at all times.
Her people wouldn't have been so lax as to not protect such a dangerous object. It had glowed such a beautiful blue, and it had reminded her of the butterflies that would come out at night when she was a little girl, that she had found herself drawn to it and had touched it. When the alarms had finally been turned off, and Sinclair's face had returned to a more normal shade of acceptable color; Clarke had informed her as gently as possible, even though her eyes had looked a tad wild at the time; that perhaps she should keep her hands to herself. She had felt like an untrained goufa being disciplined, and it was a feeling she did not one to repeat. So she carefully avoided all buttons. Although she still sometimes wondered what "countdown" meant.
"Hai, Klark."
Clarke jumped in her seat and tried to whirl around at the same time, but somehow only managed to fall out of her chair. She grumped in displeasure when her butt hit the floor, and she tossed her head to get the hair out of her eyes, sighing as she did so. She really needed to put a bell around that girl's neck.
She stared up at a clearly concerned Lexa, and while she wanted to be irritated that the girl had shaved at least a year's worth of life of her…well life, she couldn't. She couldn't be irritated when soft mossy green eyes stared just a few inches from her own blue. The girl's brow was knit, and Clarke smiled when she felt strong hands under her elbows and heard the worried voice in her ear.
"Are you ok, Klark? Are you hurt? I am sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you sure you are ok? Perhaps I should call for your mother?" And Lexa immediately started to stand from her squatted position in front of Clarke, intent upon finding Abby as it was obvious that Clarke might need medical attention. The girl had yet to speak, and Lexa had learned from personal experience, that Clarke was never silent. She seemed truly incapable of keeping her mouth shut. So for her to still be silent….she was obviously hurt, and Lexa had been the one to hurt her.
Clarke chuckled at the anxiety radiating off of Lexa and reached out and grabbed the babbling girl by the collar of her coat and whispered, "shof op, Leska" before pressing her lips to Lexa's.
Lexa immediately froze and then sank back down into a crouch, her hands sliding around Clarke's waist. She tried to pull her closer to her, but she lost what precarious balance she had, and she tumbled over Clarke in a tangle of limbs. She felt the warm body underneath her jerk a few times, and Lexa lifted her face from Clarke's chest and smiled up into laughing blue eyes.
"Well hello there, Commander," giggled the blonde as she slung both arms around Lexa's shoulders and wiggled underneath her a little in order to get more comfortable. She was gratified by the blush that swept across the brunette's face. And she leaned up slightly and rubbed her cheek against the darker one next to her. She dropped little kisses across the high cheekbone, and licked the corner of the ripe mouth. She chuckled again when Lexa snorted at her.
"Klaaaark," whined the brunette as she turned her head trying to capture the blonde's lips with her own, only to be foiled as the girl giggled and kept moving her face away. Lexa huffed at her and dropped her hands down to the girl's side and immediately dug strong fingers into warm ribs. She watched amused as the blonde's mouth dropped open and she squealed as she tried to buck Lexa off.
Clarke choked as she tried to breathlessly inhale and jerk away from Lexa's strong fingers. The older girl was stronger and leaner and she had effectively pinned Clarke to the floor, and she showed no signs of stopping her attack on the blonde's ribs. Although she had winced rather hard, when Clarke had squealed in her ear. Served her right!
She took shuddering breath as she tried to squirm away and buck Lexa off at the same time. "Oh-ok! Give! Beja! St-stop! Please! Stop!" she laughed between each stuttering word.
"Kiss me, and I will stop, Skai Prisa." Lexa momentarily stopped her assault and waited with an arched eyebrow for the blonde to concede and give her what she wanted.
Clarke gazed up into amused jade eyes and felt that old familiar warmth spark inside her chest and seep through her veins and muscles. She felt the heat deep in her bones, and she ached with how much she wanted her. This girl of wind and dirt and trees, of blood and cracking bones, of broken jade and happy sighs. She leaned up slightly and pressed her lips against the brunette's soft mouth. She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, running her tongue across it. She happily swallowed the brunette's light moan, and suckled her bottom lip until it plumped pleasurably in her mouth.
She pulled back and smiled at the older girl who looked slightly dazed even with her eyes closed. Her breathing was slightly erratic, and Clarke could feel the pounding of her heart racing with her own. She slid both hands up strong cheekbones and into her hair, feeling the tight braids scrape across her fingertips. She lightly kissed her nose, and green eyes fluttered open.
"I…" she swallowed hard and tried again, "I…hodnes yu in." Clarke slammed her mouth shut after uttering the words, and couldn't quite meet the brunette's eyes. She could feel her pulse pounding against her temples in anxiety. She knew Lexa wasn't very good at revealing her feelings either in action or word. The only times when the girl ever really showed how she felt was in the safety of her tent late at night. And then she didn't say it so much in words.
If time could truly stop, then Lexa would swear that it did in that moment. If these machines that surrounded them were alive, then she knew they would have held their breath. Lexa could only remember one other person who had ever uttered those words to her. Had murmured them against her skin in the dark of night when no one else was around to hear them. And Lexa had basked in them then, but that girl was gone, though her shadowed lingered still.
She saw the hope in the blue eyes dim a little as she hesitated a little too long in replying. She felt the hands start to slip from her hair, and she felt a sliver of panic bloom inside her chest. She sat up, straddling curvy hips, and she grabbed the falling hands that immediately curled into fists and pulled them to her chest. She clasped them firmly to her chest and licked her lips as she tried to find the words that she wanted to speak, that were on the tip of her tongue, but they seemed locked behind the cage of her mouth.
"I…Klark…I am not good with words," she whispered fearfully as she gazed the blonde who was chewing at her bottom lip. She noted the sheen in the blue eyes, and she inwardly cursed herself for causing the blonde anxiety.
"It's ok, Leska, you don't have to say anything." Clarke pulled against the hands holding her own, "Could you please let me up. This floor is kind of hard." Clarke tugged against the hands holding her own, trying to fight against the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She had been so stupid! She had seen the ghost of Costia lurking in Lexa's eyes the moment she had confessed her feelings.
Lexa dropped the blonde's hands, and slowly stood up backing away, while her stomach roiled. She had hurt her Klark, and she felt the bitter taste of regret on her tongue. But she didn't know what to say, how to say it.
Clarke scrambled gracelessly to her feet, and tried to give the worried brunette a cheery smile, but the smile fooled neither of them, and she turned away back to her computer, while surreptitiously wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"So…did you need something?"
Lexa stared at the blonde's back, noting the slightly hunched shoulders. She had heard the quaver in her breath when she had inhaled. Her heart ached, and she wished she could take back her silence, her hesitation, her fear.
"You."
Clarke's shoulders jerked slightly at the soft words, and she waited wondering if the normally stoic brunette would continue.
Lexa took a deep breath. She could do this. She had faced entire armies on the battlefield. She could tell this one girl how she felt. Easy. Then why did she want to vomit? Why was she so afraid?
"You, Klark. Just you. I need nothing else. I want nothing else." Lexa stepped forward until she was directly behind Clarke. She could feel her warmth, they stood so closely together. She gently eased her arms around the blonde's shoulders and let her fingers sooth down her arms, until she found the blonde's fingers. She tangled her fingers with hers and pressed gently against her back, cradling Clarke in her arms.
"You fell from the sky, Klark. You were a shooting star, and if I had still believed in love, I would have wished upon you. And when you finally came to the ground, you still burned brighter than any star," she leaned in and brushed her lips against the golden halo in front of her.
"You are my star, Klark. You always guide me home. Back to you. The only place I want to be." She waited for a moment, hoping the blonde understood what she was trying to say. Hoping she realized how much she did love her. But when Clarke didn't make a sound, she hesitantly loosed her clasp around the blonde and started to pull away, only for Clarke to abruptly jerk her fingers from Lexa's and turn in her arms.
Lexa's relief immediately turned to worry when she saw the tears dripping down the blonde's face. Oh gaia! She hadn't meant to make the blonde cry! She was so bad at this! Why had she ever opened her stupid mouth?! She should have just run away or something. Right. Because that would have made things so much better. She snarled inwardly at her own spastic ramblings.
"I…I'm sorry, Klark, I didn't mean to make you cry," she whispered brokenly, all the while continuing to inwardly berate herself, "I know I'm not very good at telling you how I feel, and…"
Her words were immediately cut off by a warm mouth, and Lexa sighed into the kiss and tightened her arms around Clarke's waist. She whined when Clarke pulled back, and she seriously considered pouting, but figured the blonde would be more likely to simply laugh at her as opposed to feeling sorry for her.
"Shush, Leska, they are happy tears. You are perfect," and Lexa beamed at the blonde causing Clarke to roll her eyes, "ok, maybe not perfect," and she chuckled at Lexa's immediately deflated look of wounded pride, "but your words were perfect. And I will always guide you home. To me. Where you belong." And she laid her head on Lexa's chest, tucking herself into the strong arms that were her shelter, her home.
Lexa held the warm solid body and let her eyes flutter closed for a brief moment. She rested her chin on top of the golden tresses and marveled that they were even standing here. If anyone had told her those long months ago, when she watched that falling star, that this moment would be a reality, she probably would have simply gutted them out of anger. Love and peace weren't for Hedas soaked in blood with creaking bones and screaming mouths. Love and peace were for the innocent, the worthy, those who didn't have the blood of thousands stained down to their very bones. But here she was, the longest living Heda, standing in wreckage with a burning star in her arms.
This Skai Prisa, her Klark, was all she wanted, all she needed. All she could see.
"You are the stars in my eyes," she whispered.
The End.
A/N: So yeah, I guess I am incapable of writing something without at least a little angst. Thoughts?
