Okay, this update is waaaaay overdue and I'm not even going to make excuses, just say sorry that it took so long. I wouldn't be surprised if some people have completely given up on me ever updating this story, so I'm very grateful to everyone who still subscribed and faved in the mean time. :)

Million thanks to paladinquen (postmodern_robot) for the beta!

More notes at the end of the chapter. Now enjoy!

June 1967, Brussels

Over the last few years, Andries made a habit out of visiting his siblings more often. There was much to be resolved between them and just seeing each other face to face more regularly helped a lot. It had really started after Emma returned from the Congo and basically had to deal with the same baggage that Andries did had after his own war in Indonesia.

Determined to not let his sister sink into the same kind of isolation and self-destructive tendencies, he made it his duty to look after and consult her. It still wasn't easy, but he hoped his advice and empathy helped her at least a little. After all, he hasd been working through his own issues for almost two decades now, but for Emma, the experience was still very fresh. So it didn't come as a complete surprise to Andries when he visited Emma on weekends and sometimes found her slighly inebriated long past noon, she was still wearing in her nightgown when it was long past noon, when it was long past noon, with messy hair and, baggy eyes, slightly inebriated and slightly inebriated. This was another also one of those days.

"Hey." She said in a tired voice after she opened the door and saw her brother standing in her doorway. "I forgot you were coming…"

"Have you been drinking again?" Andries asked, looking at her suspiciously. Her only reply was a shrug. "We talked about this…"

"I know, I know…" She waved and stepped back to let him in. "Just come in, I'll make some tea."

They went to her kitchen and Andries took a seat at the kitchen table while Emma went to collect her kecattle from the cupboard. After she filled it with water by the sink aand put it on the stove to boil, she sat down next to her brother and asked.

"How long did it take for you to get better?"

"A few years." He replied. "But to be honest, it probably would've taken less if I had just faced my guilt instead of trying to suppress it in the first place… Yes, the things I did were terrible and I'll have to live with that forever. But that's the thing, people like us can't afford to stop being who we are and these feeling will never go away. All we can do is own them and make sure we learn from our mistakes, not to try to suppress conceal them with substances."

"You're the one to talk." She said as she crossed her arms on the table. "You still smoke weed. Don't deny it, I smelled it on you many times when you came over."

"That's different." Andries shrugged. "I need it to help me sleep and I can't always get the scent out but I'm using it a lot less now than before. After a while I found other things that helped me cope. New interests, work, people…"

"And by "people", you mean Matthew." Emma interrupted him with a smirk, tilting her head a bit tiredly.

"Well, yes." Andries raised an eyebrow at her. Why would she bring up Matthew all of a sudden? "He helped me at one of my lowest points and he didn't leave even when I was at my worst… He's my best friend."

"Really? After all this time, you still see him as a friend? With all the flowers and letters you send him, I was sure there was more going on here." Emma pondered, scratching her head.

Andries almost jolted in panic. Did she know…?

"Of course not!" He repliedretorted. "Can't I just send those to him as a friend? Besides, the thank-you tulips were originally my queen's idea…"

"Alright, calm down…" She gave him a confused look. "I'm just saying'… It's been a while since you dated were interested in anyone this muchanyone and if you were ready to be in a relationship again, I think you and Matthew would be a good togethercouple."

Andries closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No way."

"Why not? Is he not into men?" Emma asked.

"No, that's not the problem."

"Then why?"

"Because… I don't deserve him." Andries sighed. It was hard conclusion for him to come to but it was how he felt, none the less.

"So you do love like him…" Emma said with a quiet kind of awe, her eyes going wide. Andries let out a grunt. It made him slightly uncomfortable to hear it said out loud.

"It doesn't matter…"

"Uh, after your little speech three minutes ago about how we shouldn't suppress our feelings, I think it does matter." Emma pointed out.

"Except I'm not the one who's suppressing hiding his feelings, he is." Andries couldn't stop himself from saying it before he realized what he just let slip. Now Emma was looking at him with even more suspicion.

"What do you mean by that?"

Andries ran a hand through his hair.

"Remember when I visited Matthew about five years ago after the missile crisis?" Emma nodded, so he continued. "I went to his place and then we went out together for a drink. He had a bit too much and I had to help him get home. I took him all the way to his bed room and laid him down but right before he fell asleep, he… kissed me."

"What?!" Emma exclaimed. "And you're only telling me this now?!"

"Look, he didn't remember it the next day and I didn't want to bring it up, because it was already really awkward." He tried to explain but he knew it sounded likewas a weak excuse.

"So you just pretended it never happened? You knew that he might have had feelings for you for five years and you never told him that you reciprocate them?" Emma said, completely flabbergasted.

"It's for his own good…" He continued but she cut him off.

"Oh, spare me that nonsense!". Why do I even listen to you?"

The cattle kettle started to whistle, so Emma got up and turned the stove off. Andries covered his mouth with his hand, trying to find the right words.

"I'm sorry." He eventually said. "I know it'is hypocritical of me… It's not that I don't want to be with him but I do want to be the man who can make Matthew happy… but I 'm not sure if I could keep up a serious relationshipguess I'm just not there yet myself."

"You're wrong." She said with her back still turned on him and she sounded as if she was holding back a cry. "My old brother would've never spoken so openly about his emotions feelings or gone to such lengths to care about mine. You have changed…"

She turned around and crossed her arms, looking at him with watery eyes.

"But there was always this thing about you. You were always scared of letting your guard down. You wanted to stay in control so badly all the time, even when it made others distance themselves from you. If you really want to make be with Matthew as happy as you said, then you will have to allow yourself some vulnerability."

Andries sighed and nodded. She was right.

"So you think I should tell him the truth?"

"Only iIf you feel ready." She shruggednodded. "I know you might not be able to trust me ever again but I want you to have someone that you can."

Andries got up and stepped closer to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I do trust you, zusje. And I'm glad to have you back in my life."

Emma placed her hand on top of his and gave the most sincere smile than she saw from her in a long time.

"I'm glad to have you back too, broer."

xxx

June 30 1967, Ottawa

Since the beginning of the year, Matthew hads been swamped with preparations for the 100th anniversary of his nation becoming its aown dominion. He never thought he'd have to work overtime because of his own birthday, but it wasn't every day one got to celebrate a centennial, so he was equal parts excited and overwhelmed and excited.

Out of all the planned events though, he was definitely looking forward to the state visit from the Netherlands the most. Not only woulddid he getbe to meeting Andries againshortly not much after thisis year's Tulip Festival, but this time Juliana, who had since became queen in the meantime was alsoould cominge along too and he was looking forward to seeing her again.

In the last few years, he had's been trying to move on from his crush on Andries. For the most part, he'd say he succeeded. When they were together, they enjoyed their time together, whether it was joining in on and anti-war rally or smoking pot in one of their living rooms – he had no reason to complain. It wasn't until they eventually had to part and wouldn't not see each other again for months that he felt the pang of guilt for not being brave enough to make a move, for missing another opportunity to confess. But then he would convinced himself again that it was the right thing to do and by the time they met again, he wcould forget already forgot about t enoughabout the about it.

This time was different though. It This was his 100th anniversary and he got was going to celebrate it with Andries. It was bound to be special and memorable and if he didn't tell him hhow he felt now, it would forever be a dark spot on an otherwise bright memory. But Matthew didn't want to think about it that way, so he made sure to shove it as far back in his mind as possible.

They met up at the parliament ion Ottawa on the day before the celebrations to go over the program once more. Matthew was glad to talk to Juliana again, asking her about her daughters and how things were going back home. Andries mostly stayed behind and let them catch up, since he'd be spending the rest of the night at Matthew's house anyway. After some chatting, they finally got the official part of the meeting over and then Matthew and Andries were free to go.

They finally had the opportunity to do some catching up too, as they walked through the Commissioners Park in the sunset, along the flower fields that sported the tulips that Andries hads sent over this year only a few months ago. It didn't take long for Matthew to notice that there was something off about Andries. The Dutchman wasn't known for being very talkative but even so, he was being rather quiet, only replying with one-word sentences and nods, and his mind seemed to be somewhere else.

"Hey, Dries…" Matthew stopped, gently grabbing the older man'shis wrist to make him Andries look at him. "Is there something wrong? You seem like you're not entirely here."

Andries clenched his teeth and swallowed. He didn't think he'd have to have this talk this soon but it was probably better to just get it over with. He carefully pulled his wrist out of Matthew's hand and turned towards him.

"Actually, there is something I need to tell you…" He began. "It's something I should've told you sooner, so I understand if you'll get mad at me for this."

Matthew felt his throat tighten. Suddenly he regretted that he asked.

"When I visited you after the missile crisis and afterthen while I carried you back home while you were drunk…" Andries took a deep breath. "You kissed me before you passed out."

Matthew's jaw dropped and he felt himself , feeling like he was breaking out in a cold sweat. He did have a faint memory from of that day of doing something he probably shouldn't have but he wasn't sure if it was even real. And now it turneds out that it was and it wasn't a small feat either.

"Oh my God…" He face-palmed, wishing that the earth would swallow him. "Dries, I'm sorry, it must've been so awkward for you, oh God… I'm so sorry!"

"Matt…" Andries grabbed his shoulders, which made him look up. "It's no big deal, I wasn't angry with you or anything, honestly. But I need to know…"

Andries' green eyes stared right was looking him straight in the eyes into his violet ones and Matthew felt his stomach sink. He had a solid guess what that question was.

"Are you in love with me?"

In one second, all those feelings that the CanadianMatthew has tried to push aside and forget about in the last five years suddenly overcame him all at once again, more intensely than ever before. His heartbeat picked up pace and his face turned red with embarrassment.

"Yes." He muttered, hanging his head.

Andries slowly let go of him, giving him a look that Matthew couldn't place. Was he angry? Sad? Disappointed?

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked after a few seconds.

Matthew couldn't hold back a pained chuckle.

"Because I didn't want you to feel like you owed me a relationship. That's not what I saved you for, and I know this is very inappropriate. I know it's inappropriate and I tried to move on and ignore it, I really did, but there's something about you that just seems to make everything better in my life and I couldn't help it and…"

His rambling was abruptly cut off by Andries pressing his lips to his. Matthew froze in shock, his eyes widened and he even forgot to breathe for a moment. After Andries pulled away, he just stared at him in confusion. "What…?"

Andries reached out and cupped Matthew's cheek cheek in his palm, which felt unusually warm to the touch.

"It's true, I got to know you because you saved me and for that I'll always be grateful." He said. "But I fell in love with you after I got to know you. I don't want to be with you because I feel like I owe it to you, I just want to. So… if you still think we could… If you could give me a chance…"

Matthew didn't know what to say, all this felt so surrealincredible. The only thing he could think of was doing the same thing Andries just did. He held onto the taller man's shoulders and pulled him down into a kiss. The next thing he knew was that a pair of arms wrapped around him and Andries was kissing him back, every bit as intensely as Matthewhe was. Relief, joy and desperation, he felt them all at once as their lips caressed each other'sone another's, their tongues exploring the other's mouth, relishing in this new-found intimacy. It was great purea bliss to finally give in after all that the time they they had were holding out onspent denying themselves and their feelings each other.

Eventually they had to pull away to catch their breaths and Matthew couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Andries said as he returned the smile. Matthew leaned closer, so he could whisper into his ear.

"Let's continue at my place."

xxx

They only stopped briefly at a store before they wentgoing straight to Matthew's home, and they could barely keep their hands off of each other the whole time. Their desperate kisses continuedy were still making out as they entered the dully lit bedroom, only and they only brokeeaking away for a second while as Matthew threw the small paper bag with their purchases on the bed before turning back to Andries and kissing him again hungrily, while and undoing the buttons of his suit.

"Wait, wait." Andries said as he broke the kiss. "Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"I think we both waited long enough." Matthew sighed, putting his arms around Andries' neck. "But if you don't want to…"

"No, I do." Andries nodded as he put his hands on Matthew's waist. "I was just making sure."

"Okay then." Matthew nodded and proceeded to pull Andries' suitjacket and vestsuit off of him, and undo the buttons on his shirt, then did the same thing with his shirt. Of course he'd seen Andries topless before whenever when they went to the beach or just casually lazing lazed around in either of theireach other's homes but this was a different context. Now he Matthew didn't have to hide how much he actually wanted to touch himAndrieshim, or and how much he craved a skin-to-skin contact. His hands trembled slightly a bit as he smoothed them across Andries' the Dutchman's chest, up to his shoulders as he Matthew pushed the shirt off.

Andries pulled it off the rest of the way and let it fall on the floor before he reached to get Matthew out of his own suit and shirt as welljacket andsuit and shirt as well. He knew that Matthew was insecure about the scar on his shoulder, and noticed he saw the hesitation on the Canadian'sMatthew's face as the shirt came off, revealing the burn mark. Andries didn't say anything, just placed a soft kiss on Matthew's lips, before trailing off along his jawline and neck, down to his shoulder, kissing over the scarred skin as Matthew reached up and tangled his fingers into Andries' hair.

Eventually Andries wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist and gently pushed him towards the bed until Matthew lied laylied down with his back on the mattress. Then Andries moved downwards, placing kisses on Matthew's chest and stomach along the way. Matthew let out a disappointed grunt when Andries stopped right under his belly button. The DutchmanAndries looked up at him and gave him a smirk before undoing undoing Matthew's pants, then he got stooupd and removed the Canadian's the shoes and socks before pulling the pants down as well, leaving Matthew in only his underwear. Matthew pushed himself up on his elbows and watched Andries as he finished taking off the rest of his own clothes, sans leaving on only his boxers. Then The Andries crawled back next to him on the bed, placing some kisses on his shoulder and neck.

"So… how do you want to do it?" he asked between kisses.

"Well… It's actually been a while since I've done any of this." Matthew admitted sheepishly.

"It's okay, I'll guide you." Andries nodded and put his palm on Matthew's chest, gently pushing him back onto the mattress. and kissed him on the lips joined again and Andries Then he smoothed his hand across his Matthew's chest and stomach, slowlytenderly caressing and moving down across his stomach, until he slipped it his hand under Matthew's boxers and slowly stroked himinside his underpants, slowly stroking him. Matthew gasped into the kiss and instinctively bucked his hips up, digging his fingers into Andries' hair again. In the meantime, as Andries has moved on toback to kissing his Matthew's chest again, dragging his teeth against skin andusing his teeth a little more this time and teasing his a nipple with his tongue.

Andries could feel Matthew getting hard in his hand and felt his own arousal rise at the sound of Matthew's moans. the delicious moans the younger man was making in response was turning him on as well. He figured it was time and pulled his hand out of Matthew's underpantsboxers, sat up and grabbed the hem of the pants before looking up at Matthew, waiting for permission to remove them.

Matthew felt his cheeks flush and his heartbeat pick up pace but he gave a nod. As the underwear came off, revealing his erectionAs his erection was revealed, he couldn't help but cover his face. Why did he feel so embarrassed?

He felt his hand being moved away from his face by Andries and turned his gaze back towards him.

"We can stop if you want to." Andries said with a slight concern in his voice. Matthew shook hism head and gave a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, really."

Andries nodded and pecked his face before reaching for the little paper bag that Matthew had tossed on the bed earlier. He and pulled out athe tube of lubricant and a a condom . He shifted a bit to the end of the bed while Matthew pulled his legs up and spread them a little wider, giving him better access. Andries put squeezed some some lube on of the lubricant on his fingers and pushed the first two into Matthew, who. The Canadian gasped at the sensation, realizing how long it had been. much un-used to it he had become. Thankfully, Andries knew what he was doing, slowly working on loosening him up before adding another finger.

"Relax, you're too tense." Andries said with a reassuringand placed a small kiss to his thigh., and that made Matthew realized that he was holding his breath, so. Hhe took a few deep breaths, feeling his his muscles in his whole body loosen up. He and focused instead on Andries instead, on the sensation of his fingers stretching Matthewhim open, the teasing brush of them against his prostate and the involuntary shivers they caused, and the gentle caress of the other man's lips on his skin. After a few more minutes, Andries was done and he pulled out his fingers then and reached for a napkin from in the box on the nightstand. After cleaning his hand, , cleaning his hand with it. As hhe picked up the condom to unwrap it, but Matthew sat up and carefully took it from him.

"Mind if I put on for you?" He asked, not wanting Andries to do all the work, . Hhe wanted to give as much as he was getting. Andries smiled and nodded, lying down against the pillows and quickly slipped his underwear off.

"Wow." Matthew muttered without realizing he said it out loud. "Uh, I mean…"

"It's okay." Andries chuckled. It had 's been a long time since he communicated this much during sex. He was had become used to it as a raw act that was quickly over, it's been a while since it was not as something actually about, well, bonding for him. He only hoped he still knew how to be selfless enough.

Matthew carefully rolled the unwrapped the condom and placed it on Andries, and then, rolling it down to the base. His heart was pounding against his ribcage at this point as he anticipated what was comingheart pounding in anticipation, he crawled forward and straddled Andries. . He crawled forward a bit, straddling Andries. He in return held onto Matthew's hips to give some guidance.

"Ready?" Andries asked, hands resting on Matthew's hips for guidance.

Matthew sighed before nodding.

"Yes, I'm ready."

He lowered himself while Andries pushed inside, taking it slowly and steadily. He remembered to breathe this time, trying to relax as they both adjusted. Andries closed his eyes and hissed at the tightness and warmth around him, holding onto Matthew's hips more firmly. He opened his eyes again when he felt Matthew place his hands on his chest. Seeing him like that, completely naked, aroused, with skin gleaming with sweat, face flushed red and eyes shining bright, was fascinating.

"You're beautiful." He muttered, possibly making Matthew blush even more.

"I've wanted this for so long…" Matthew said quietly but with much much excitement.

"Yeah, me too." Andries replied, letting go of Matthew's hips and resting his hands on his thighs instead. "Now move, liefje."

Matthew already knew enough Dutch to know what that word meant. This was the first time Andries used a romantic endearment for him…

He did as he was asked, starting to at first slowly rocking his hips back and forth. He started slowly, feeling Andries deep within him, and gradually pickeding up the pace as he allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure building in him with every thrust. Andries responded with thrusting his hips upwards, triedying to match Matthew's rhythm, both of them. They both becomingame more vocal and as their movements synced, deriving pleasure from each thrust. At one point Matthew threw his head back and pushed down hard, causing Andries to cry out in pleasure and tighten his grip on Matthew's thighs. Matthew kept going and switched up the tempo sometimes, experimenting to figure out which one worked best. He didn't want this to be over too soon – he wanted them both to enjoy it and cherish every moment of it.

Andries moaned and grunted as Matthew went back and forth between teasingly slow and quickintensely fast. He could feel his own climax getting closer, but de he didn't want to finish before Matthew did. He quickly sat up, wrapping his arms around Matthew, turning them over and kissing him hard as he continued to pound into him. Matthew was taken by surprise at the position change but quickly adjusted, holding onto Andries' shoulders and wrapping his legs around his waist to pull him closer.

"D-Dries…" Matthew moaned against Andries' lips, the friction inside him was sending shivers all over his bodydown his spine. Then WWhen Andries grabbed his staff cock and started stroking him again, which it drove him Matthew over the edge and made heim released with a loud cry, his nails digging his nails into Andries' skin. Andries came seconds later at the sensation of and he felt MMatthew tightening around him. He continued to trust, riding out the orgasm for as long as he could.

As they both came down from their climax, Andries rolled to the side, pulling out of Matthew in the process. Matthew panted as he watched him Andries with exhausted fascination - as he disposed ofinge of the condom before and cleaneding himself with the tissues from the nightstand. Eventually, Andries turned back to him, gently wiping Matthew's abdomen clean from his own cum. grabbing a couple more tissues and whipping his hand with one of them. Once done, Andries took the other one and turned back to Matthew, whipping his abdomen clean as well. Matthew wanted to say he can do it himself, but he felt incredibly tired.

"Are you okay?" Andries asked as he lied lay down back beside him, and brushed Matthew's fallen some hair out from overof out of his face.

"I haven't felt this good in a long time." He smiled and snuggled closer to Andries, resting his head against his chest as Andries put his arms around him. "Did I… do well?"

"You were amazing." Andries assured him as he gently caressed Matthew's back. "I hope I wasn't too rough…"

"Not at all…" Matthew muttered but he could already feel himself dozing off. But he remembered something important that he had to say before sleep took him. "I love you."

Andries felt h a clutch in his chest heart clench whenafter he heard hearing those three words. He looked down at Matthew, realizing he was already asleep. Suddenly, a slight panic aroused hit in him and he quickly sat up, holding his forehead in his hand. What did he just do? Were they a couple now? If so, in what ways will would their relationship change? And more importantly, will would he be able to actually uphold this relationship? Many Thousands of questions like that ran around throughin his mind and he did not know the answer to any of them.

He remembered what Emma said about being vulnerable and he was starting to understand, but it was hard. This uncertainty was gut-wrenching for him but at the same time, he wanted to find out the answers to those questions. More importantly, Hhe wanted to be with Matthew and figure it out with himfigure them out together with Matthew together.

He sighed to calm himself down and glanced over at the sleeping young man who had stolen his heart. He looked so content and peaceful and Andries wanted to do everything he could to keep it what way. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over both of them as he lied lay back down, putting his arm protectively around Matthew again.

xxx

July 1st, 1967

The lack of body-heat next to him was what woke up Matthew. He reached out blindly but when all he could feel where werethe bed sheets, he opened his eyes to actually see that Andries wasn't next to him. He jolted up and looked around but the Dutchman Andries was nowhere to be found.

"DAndries?" He called out but got no response.

He was about to get out of bed to look around the house when Andries appeared in at the bedroom's door, wet and naked sans the towel around his waist. Matthew stopped mid- motion and felt his face turn warm.

"Sorry, I heard your call but I was in the shower." Andries said with a smirk as he walked into the room, amused at Matthew's expression.

"Ah… iIt's okay, just for a second there I thought you might have left…" Matthew admitted, rubbing the back of his head. Andries sat down next to him and gently put an arm around his waist.

"I'm not going anywhere, don't worry." He said, placing a kiss on Matthew's neckcheeck. Then he was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "I don't think I ever apologized yet..."

"For what?" Matthew asked.

"For not telling you that you kissed me earlier and holding out on you for so long." Andries rubbed that back of his neck. "That was a bad move."

"It's okay. You just weren't ready." Matthew shruggedgave a forgiving smile and rested his head on Andries' shoulder. "And I probably wasn't ready either."

"Still… I promised I wouldn't hurt you and ended up doing it anyway." Andries sighed. "But I'll do better from now on, because I want to make this work."

He took Matthew's hand and intertwined their fingers. Matthew let out a small but sincere laugh, leaned closer looked up and kissed him.

"I want the same." He said after they pulled away. "I won't be afraid anymore."

Andries nodded in agreement.

"Now, you better get ready, liefje. You don't want to be late for your own birthday."

End

Again, thanks to everyone who followed this story up until now! To be honest, I never really planned to write further than this point, and considering that it takes me so ridiculously long to update and how tedious research can be for me, I decided to make this the final chapter. Basically, I just wanted to put my own version of how I think Netherlands and Canada got together, and I have accomplished that. In fact, Himaruya actually posted a chapter of Hetalia World Stars where they have a brief interaction pre-WWII, so that did change some of my headcanons but it's way to late to go back and change this story now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I will do one more chapter, which is going to be a short epilogue, just to wrap this up a little more neatly. After that, I don't really think I will be doing multi-chapter stories again. I'm honestly not sure if my writing has gotten any better at all in this chapter. I am much more of an artists who likes to show things through visual means rather than written ones (if you're interested in my art, my art-Tumblr and Deviantart are paarsetulpensart). However, I will still try to write one-shots and post here more often.

Historical notes (there really aren't that many for this one):

- Congo gained independence from Belgium on June 30 1960.
- Princess Juliana became Queen of the Netherlands in 1948. She visited Canada on July 1st of 1967 for the commemoration of Canada's 100th anniversary.

(Btw, if you want to find that manga chapter I mentioned, just google 'Hetalia World Stars 194'.)