Chapter 1: Pace Yourself

Pacifica Northwest was pacing her room. This was not a particularly unusual action for her to take. At the tender age of 16, the stress of dealing with her social life, school, and parents required some sort of release, and her personal choice was healthy exercise in the form of borderline-frantic pacing. What was highly unusual, however, was the cause of her stress. Glowing brightly on her phone screen, shining as a beacon she could not ignore, was a single message from Dipper Pines: Hey! Guess what? Mom and Dad finally decided to let us stay with Grunkles Stan and Ford again! Mabel and I are coming back to Gravity Falls for the summer! WOO!

She was stressed out over how to respond. She only had 15 minutes left of her allotted "understandable time to not check your phone". What should she go with? What about a smiley face? Not enough effort. Dipper might think she was giving him the cold shoulder. Couldn't be a one-word response either. Had to be something decently long, that conveyed her genuine happiness, but not too much of it. Great! Super excited to see you again! Nope. Absolutely not. She probably shouldn't use an exclamation point. Definitely shouldn't use Ugh, why was this so hard?

She really didn't see why she cared so much. Sure, she had had a tiny crush on him before he left. Sure, based on Facelook pictures he had only gotten more attractive with age. But whatever. They were friends. It totally did not matter that he was incredibly cute, kind, smart, and witty. Not at all. She was not going to get all panicky over some old childhood crush. Besides, even if she did still have a slight crush on him (which she didn't), he was only here for the summer. There was absolutely no point in caring so much.

Dipper Pines paced his room. He had a new invention/present for the gang in Gravity Falls, but the prototypes had a critical flaw, one that he needed to try fixing. His train of thought was interrupted, however, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Soos and Wendy had been messaging him nonstop since he had told them the news. It wasn't like he wasn't going to respond. He was just as excited as they were. While checking his messages, he noted with some dismay that Pacifica still had yet to respond. Towards the end of summer, he and Mabel had actually become good friends with the heiress, and had kept up a somewhat decent communication over text via the years. Or maybe she had just been polite, and thought he was super annoying? And the idea of him returning made her angry? Had the "WOO" been too much? It had probably been too much. Or what if another Northwest-hating ghost had attacked the manor and something terrible happened? But no, that wasn't likely. She was probably just out on the town, hanging with friends and hadn't noticed it, normal teenager stuff. But it was Gravity Falls, weird shit central. Maybe he could ask Soos to-

"You're murmuring to yourself again," a teasing voice called out. He turned to the door of his room to see his sister, Mabel. "So, why do you freak, geek?"

Dipper resumed pacing, hiding his phone with his body. "Nothing," he muttered. "Science stuff, you wouldn't understand."

"I understand that that's an unanswered text from Pacifica," she noted, peeking over his shoulder. "And that you're a total loser! Haha!"

"Mabel!" Dipper cried, leaning away while covering his phone. He had never figured out her ability to move through space so quickly and quietly. "You can't just look at someone else's phone like that!"

"Sure I can! The people from that surveillance thingy do it, and they're the government, so it must be legal!"

"First of all, the NSA is what you mean. The legality is in question, and on that matter, all of my wireless connections are encrypted."

"Well, are they encrypted against… the Skeptacles?" Mabel asked, forming an oh-so familiar gesture around her eyes. "Because it seems to me that you're muttering about the fact that Pacifica hasn't texted you back. Getting awfully concerned, maybe a little too concerned for just a friend."

Oh no, Matchmaker Mabel was making an appearance. "It's not like that, Mabel!" he insisted. "I'm just worried that something bad might have happened to her or something!"

"Skeptaclleeeees," she sang.

"You should get those those lenses checked then," Dipper remarked. "Because there is nothing going on between me and Pacifica. Ever. So don't try anything."

"Okay, okay, I know when I'm not wanted."

"I know you know that. It's the fact that you don't care if people don't want you butting in that bothers me."

"Aw geez, bro. I'm just trying to help. I introduced you to Jenna, didn't I? You guys had a lot of fun."

"Sure, up until I actually asked her out and she rejected me, making me 0 for 2."

"What? You cannot be counting Wendy. You didn't even have a chance with her."

"Yeah, but I thought I did when I was 12, making the pain of rejection just as real as it was with Jenna! Thereby totally counting!"

"See, it's because you sit in your room making weird stats for yourself rather than just going out there that you absolutely need my help!"

"For the last time, Mabel, I'm not you!" he snapped. "I can't just 'go out there'! I don't have that confidence! And if, just this once, that would finally get through to you, that would be greatly appreciated!"

The air, now devoid of noise, was filled with tension. Dipper very rarely lost his temper at Mabel. She knew she had to give him some space for a bit. "Right, sorry, Bro Bro, just wanted to help. I'll stop bothering you now."

Quick as she came, Mabel left the room. Dipper resumed pacing. He knew that he shouldn't have snapped at her like that. It was just, he couldn't keep up with her pace anymore. He was finding her overbearing more and more frequently lately. He had his way of doing things, she had hers. He understood that, but she had yet to fully come to terms with it, and frankly, the faster she realized, the easier life would be for both of them.

His attention immediately turned away from Mabel, however, when his screen glowed with a text from Pacifica: Awesome! When do you guys get up here?

Stan Pines paced the basement lab of the Mystery Shack frantically. "I frankly don't see what you are so worried about," Ford spoke, not taking his eyes from his microscope. "Rather, I would have thought that you would be elated. The kids are coming up in a week."

"You kidding? I'm the happiest I've been since they left! I'm just nervous too. They aren't those adorable little kids anymore. Didn't you see the picture Wendy showed us? Ford, Mabel has boobs now!" he cried exasperatedly. "Just saying that's given me another ulcer!"

"You didn't really expect them to be twelve forever, did you?" Ford asked, amused.

"A man can dream, Ford. A man can dream."

"Well, at least I knew this was going to happen. That's part of growing up. It's natural for them to become adults. Best we accept it as is."

"Oh, ok. Riddle me this then, Mr. Wise and Mighty. What happens if Dipper is too cool to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with you, huh? What then? Gonna 'accept it as is', are ya?"

Ford paused, the microscopic termites that devoured everything momentarily forgotten. "Dipper is as much a nerd as I am, Stanley. I don't think he'll have changed to be 'cool' or anything that unrecognizable," he replied, but there was a waver of doubt in his voice.

"See? We won't know until we see 'em. But that's not what worries me most."

"And what is?" Ford asked reluctantly. He didn't really want to know what was worse than losing his DD&MoreD buddy.

Stan sighed, and sat down on Ford's desk, papers wrinkling under him. "They're a lot like us, Ford," he noted somberly. "Towards the end of summer, no matter how much I tried, all I could see was a ticking time bomb, one college brochure from blowing up. Kerblam. My two favorite people in the world, at each other's throats. I don't want to see that, Ford. I really don't."

Ford could not think of anything to say. He was a scientist, a man of reason and rationale. What Stan suggested was historically-proven and logically the most likely fate that awaited the two. His silence hung in the air, as an acknowledgment of what was to come. Stan continued his pacing.

To: Wendy, Soos

5/29/2016 4:32 PM

Dipper: Hey! Guess what? Mom and Dad finally decided to let us stay with Grunkles Stan and Ford again! Mabel and I are coming back to Gravity Falls for the summer! WOO!

Soos: DUDE! DUDE! DUJOJBIINI

Wendy: Literally just watched Soos have a seizure from pure excitement. It was hilarious. But forget that! This is insanely awesome! How'd you guys convince your folks?

D: Years of constant petitioning, strong reasoning, and convincing our parents that we could handle the danger. Plus, a week ago, Mabel figured out how to hold her breath until she passed out. That was definitely the catalyst needed.

W: Mabel is hardcore! Rock on, Mabel!

D: Tell me about it. Thanks to her, we'll be up at the Mystery Shack in a week!

S: DUDE! WE HAVE TO LASER TAG!

D: Hey, Soos! You recovered!

S: Yeah, scared a few customers away though. But dude! This is seriously the best thing ever! I thought your parents hated Mr. Pines!

W: Scroll up, Soos.

S: Oh. Haha. My bad. Go Hambone.

W: Go Hambone. You guys gonna go on some more crazy adventures? I'm down if you are.

S: Aw, yeah, the Mystery Twins! Plus Soos, their lovable sidekick!

W: What am I then?

D: The chick. Your sole purpose is to stand around and be a girl.

W: Well, somebody just offered to provide snacks for Movie Night the entire summer.

D: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate having you on the team?

W: You muttered it under your breath every now and then.

S: Oh man, he totally did do that!

D: Great. Glad we've brought that up so I can be crippled with embarrassment by it for the rest of summer. Thanks, gang.

W: No probs, buddy.

Author's Note: Checklist for the first chapter: 1) Get all central emotional themes established or at least foreshadowed. 2) Make a sweet pun in the title. 3) Portray teenage texting as complete sentences, which is hilariously incorrect, but far more convenient to read than the autocorrected garble we all actually use. All objectives complete. Huzzah.

So, this is a thing. After binge-watching Gravity Falls last week, the SS Dipifica voyaged around my personal mindscape until it encountered the Fanfiction Continent and here we all are. Thank you for reading the first chapter, and I hope you stay tooned! Haha, TV pun!