A/N This was a story I had come to me while stuck in hospital so it kept me company for a bit

Warning, for very mature content, if you don't like Johnlock do not read this.

Disclaimer: All right to ACD and BBC

John Watson was never one to take much stock in fate or destiny or whatever people called it. To him life was what you made it. Life was something you worked at and you either love it or hated it.

Right now John hates his life, invalided out from the army, unable to work as a surgeon and walking around London with a cane and a limp was not how he had planned on his life going.

He had planned everything, he was to spend most of his life in the army; to retire an old man and spend the rest of his life in peace in some cottage in the country or by the sea.

He never saw a partner though, he never pictured falling in love and spending the rest of his days with another, because he had fallen in love a very long time ago, but he never got the chance to tell that person, let alone find out their name.

Four times he had met this person, four days he had been able to be with him, to talk to him, touch him, but always he ended up being taken away.

The first time was when John was only five.

He had just moved to the outskirts of London. His mother had only been able to get John and his sister into a rather posh school, funded by his grandparents, as all other places had been taken up.

His first day John had been nervous and excited all at once, the school looked like fun to a five year old, it had a rather brilliant play area that John just itched to explore, so when the bell rang for first break, John had practically flown out the doors, running as fast as his legs would carry him to that playground.

He had gone down the large slide several times before he noted a boy sitting under the structure. He had a mop of curly, black hair, pale skin, and when the boy looked up when John said 'Hi', John couldn't determine the colour of the boy's eyes. They were blue and grey and green and silver and right now a bruise was forming under the left eye.

"What happened?" John asked the smile on his face disappearing as he knelt next to the smaller, skinnier boy. "What did that?"

The boy blinked at John as he pointed at his eye.

"Nothing." The boy replied wrapping his long arms around his legs.

"That doesn't look like nothing."

"Go away." The boy snapped, but John didn't even flinch.

"Nope." John shook his head. "You should tell the teacher."

"The teacher won't do anything, they never do."

"Oh…well come on." John stood and held out his hand.

The boy looked up at him and frowned at the hand then slowly lifted his, allowing John pull him to his feet. John smiled and still holding the boy's hand, led him back into the school to where John had hung his bag in the morning.

"Why are we here?" The black haired boy asked.

"I have something that will help your eye." John said simply as he let go of the pale hand and reached into his bag. "My mum is a nurse, she makes me carry this." He pulled out a small white box that had a red cross on the lid. Opening it up he moved things about until he found what he was after.

Holding the blue gel pack in his left hand he put the box back in his bag then bent the pack in half before shaking it.

"Here, put it on your eye." John held the gel pack out and pale fingers took it.

"It's cold!"

"Yeah. It's good for bumps and bruises." John smiled and for the first time the boy smiled back slightly as he placed the pack on his growing black eye.

"You should be a doctor."

John startled at that. "Why?"

"You are good to people you don't even know." The boy shrugged. "All the doctors I've seen are nice, just like you."

"Oh, I want to be a soldier."

"Then be an army doctor."

"Okay then." John said with a smile.

John and the boy spent the rest of the day together, or rather the boy seemed to hover around where ever John was. No one but him talked to him, and no one seemed to really want him around, even the teacher who had only asked in passing about what had happened to the dark haired child's eye to which the boy just shrugged and the teacher didn't push it any further.

John never asked for the boy's name, but then he never gave his either, so when the next day came around and the boy never showed he wasn't able to ask after him. So John made a note to himself to ask the boy his name when he was back in school, however the boy never returned and even though John had only known him for that day, he started to miss him.

~.~.~.~

That was the beginning, the beginning of John missing someone he didn't even know, little did he know that it would only get worse.

When John turned fifteen his mum and sister treated him to a day out at Thorpe Park. He had always loved rides. He loved the speed and the thrill of them, but most of all he loved the danger, loved that little part of his mind that saw the potential threat of each and every ride and loved how he got a kick out of pushing past the fear and going for it. Basically it was his way of getting high.

While John's mum and sister went to get some food John opted to queue again for Stealth. It was the fastest ride on the park and he had already been on it twice. As he queued a group of boys around his age came up behind him and were shouting and taking the piss out of each other.

"I can't believe you invited the freak!"

"Hey, it's been a laugh hasn't it? I mean did you see his face!"

They all started to laugh holding their stomachs as though whatever they were on about was the funniest thing ever.

"Yeah…oh my god…I've never seen anything so funny in my life…oh, oh look there!" John followed the boy's arm as he pointed out to the milling crowed and his eyes instantly fell on a tall boy with dark, wet hair, his hand pushed inside his dark jeans and his white shirt covered in blue slime that caused the shirt to cling to his body.

"Hey freak!" One of the lads shouted and the tall boy flinched but didn't turn. "Leaving so soon? You should try another slushy shower!" The group of boys started to laugh again as the tall boy continued to walk away.

Looking at the group of boys a moment John's mind split; part of him want to just ignore the whole thing and go on the ride again, another wanted to tell the boys that they were all stupid and another wanted to chase after the tall, dark haired boy and see if he was okay.

The last part won.

Ducking under the barriers John made his way through the crowd looking for the white shirt stained blue and he was lucky when he spotted the boy make his way around to the back of a stand. Following, John wondered how he was going to explain himself to the boy, after all he was running after a total stranger simply to make sure if he was okay.

As he made his way round the back of the hook a duck stand, John slowed his pace and kept his hands in his jeans pocket.

"Why are you following me?" A deep voice sounded behind him causing him to jump and spin around.

The sight that confronted him was on a boy around his age, with about half a foot of height on him and a gaze that was both angry and inquisitive.

"Jesus!" John panted putting his hand to his heart. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"

"Well you shouldn't follow total strangers."

"True." John said with a smile and took in the boy before him, when he got to his eyes he frowned. "Do I know you?"

"Doubt it, you don't go to my school and I don't know anyone our age outside of it."

"Oh, just…I don't, know you look really familiar." John muttered trying to work out where he had seen him before.

The boy looked down at John and John couldn't help but suddenly feel very exposed. The boy's eyes were penetrating to the point that John was sure he could see right down into his soul.

"Why did you follow me?" The boy asked again not taking his eyes from John.

"I…I don't know, to make sure if you were okay I guess." John shrugs and offers a small smile. "Those boys sounded like dicks, and well, I don't know, I just had to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

"That they hadn't hurt you." The boy's face relaxed slightly but he still didn't let go of John's eyes.

"Why did you think they had hurt me?" He sounded more intrigued than anything else.

"The way you flinched when they shouted at you." John answered. "You hadn't realised they were in the queue, so when you heard them you had a physical reaction, meaning that you either expected to be hit or for something physical to happen at the sound of their voices."

"Very well observed." The boy said smiling slightly. "Not many people would notice that."

"Yeah well, they don't live a sister who shouts your name before either throwing something, or punching you." John said with a laugh.

The boy smiled a bit brighter at John's words and for some reason John wanted nothing more than to keep that smile on those cupid bow lips, or maybe kiss it away.

John had known for a long time that he found boys just as attractive as girls, and the boy before him was, without a doubt, one of the best looking people he had ever seen, even movie starts couldn't stand up against the tall figure before him.

They stood staring at each other for a moment then a shiver ran down the boy's tall frame as the sun disappeared behind some clouds.

Without thinking John pulled his grey jumper over his head, pulled his black shirt off and passed it to the boy, leaving him for a moment without a top.

"Here."

"What?" The boy asked his eyes wide.

"Take this. Your shirt is wet, and stained, and you will freeze. Sure it's warm when the sun is out but…" John looked up at the quickly forming overcast sky. "I don't think the sun will be back out for a while."

The boy hesitated, then took his own shirt off and quickly pulled on the black shirt that was offered, while John pulled back on his jumper. Once they were both dressed again John smiled once again brushing his fingers through his blond hair a few times.

"So…did you want to come get something eat? My mum and sister just went to get a table, or something." He shrugged. "I can't remember what." He continued as he pulled his phone free to see if his mum had texted him.

"No thanks, but thanks for the shirt." John looked up from his phone and nodded.

"Well it looks good on you." And it did, sure it was a bit bigger than the white shirt had been in, but it did fit him well, hanging off his lean frame in a way that made him look like a model. Also the fact that his skin was so pale the black just contrasted perfectly, just like his hair did.

"Er…thanks."

"You are welcome." Just then his phone did go off and he read the text informing him that his mum had bought a pizza from Inferno's, his favourite place in the park.

"That your mum?"

"Yeah…I best go."

"Yeah."

"But you are okay, right?" John asked, pocketing his phone.

"I am fine, go and enjoy the rest of your birthday."

John frowned. "I didn't tell you it was my birthday."

The boy smiled. "No, you didn't."

He then turned, walking away, leaving John standing there totally at a loss for a moment before his phone buzzed again and his stomach rumbled to remind him that he hadn't eaten since just before they left that morning.

It wasn't until that night that John dreamed of being five, talking to a raven haired boy with amazing eyes and a small voice telling him to be an army doctor, that John realised who it was he had bumped into that day at the park.

Sitting up in bed John stared into the darkness picturing those verdigris eyes and cursing himself, for once again, not getting a name.

~.~.~.~

The third time was one he almost wished he didn't remember.

John was in his first year of residency, he was twenty-three and worked on the A&E department at Bart's, when a call came through informing them of an overdose coming through to them.

John had specialized in drugs and narcotics while training and so he was put down as second on this case while the lead doctor gave out instructions to his staff in preparation for dealing with the patient.

"ETA?" John asked as he stood next to Dr Marks.

"Any minute. They think it's a cocaine overdose taken by hypodermic.

"Right, too much over a long time or too much in a short."

"Not sure."

John nodded just as the doors open and a trolley was rolled in with a paramedic knelt on the bed performing CPR on the patient.

"Crashed as we pulled up." The other paramedic said as they pushed the trolley into place. As the team got to work John listened as the paramedic listed everything he knew while his colleague continued to pump at the patient's chest until John's team took over.

"Heartbeat!" One of the nurse shouted and everything stilled a moment as the paramedic stopped what he was doing and then climbed off as they intubated the man on the bed and started to strip him to place monitoring pads on his body.

"Weak pulse…." John listened as all the information was shouted towards him and Dr. Marks. Marks, for his part continued to give orders and John added or stopped things if he felt a different course of action was needed.

An hour later John finally got close enough to his patient to see him for the first time. John paused as he took in the mess of dark curls and ghostly skin, his hand trembling slightly as he gently lifted back an eyelid and shone a torch into the verdigris eyes he dreamt of weekly.

"What the hell have you done to yourself?" He muttered, watching for any reaction of the pupils.

"John?" A nurse asked as he let go of the eye lid and just stared down at that the person he didn't know and yet had somehow taken over his heart.

"John, are you okay?" The nurse asked.

Looking up John nodded. "Yeah. Do we have a name?"

"No, he had no ID and no one was about when he was found."

"I see."

"Do you know him?" The nurse asked with a frown.

"I…no, he just looked like someone I met when I was younger."

"What was their name?"

"I don't know." John laughed slightly. "I never found out."

"So didn't know them that well."

"No, I only met them twice."

Suddenly the pale man on the bed came awake and instantly started to fight against the tube down his throat. John grabbed the man's wrists and placed them on either side of the bed holding him down gently but firmly.

"Okay, it's okay. You're in Bart's hospital being treated for an overdose. Do you remember what happened?" The man stared up at John with those strange eyes and John saw the flash of recognition before the man slowly nodded.

"Okay that's good. Now, if I let go of your arms you need to promise me that you won't try to take the tube out." The man rolled his eyes at this then nodded again.

"Good." John slowly let go of the man and was glad to see he was going to keep his promise. "Right. This is what is going to happen. We are going to keep you intubated for a bit longer, we need your sat levels to increase a bit more and for your blood pressure to come down. We have given you a list of drugs to help combat the side effects of the come down you are sure to be experiencing at some point soon, then once you are fully stable you will be heading off to a ward."

The man listened intently his eyes never leaving John's just like they never did whenever the two met.

John looked about noticing that the nurse had left and they were alone. Looking back down at the man John thought about the day he had turned fifteen and wondered if the black shirt he had given him still existed.

"Do you remember Thorpe Park?" John suddenly blurted out then bit his lip. "Sorry, you probably have no idea what…" Long fingers wrapped around his wrist causing John to stop talking and look down at where a pale hand contrasted with his own golden skin. When he looked back to those strange eyes, the man nodded again then winced as it seemed he was about to say something.

"Yeah, try not to do that." John said with a smile.

The fingers around his wrist tightened slightly as then man shuddered, his eyes closing. The monitors around them started to beep, but John quickly shut them off. They knew this would happen once the come down started, but they had already given what they could to help combat it and make it as painless and as easy as possible.

"It's alright." John tried to reassure him as his free hand reached up for the first time brushing back the curls that fell over the man's forehead. Those eyes opened again and the fingers tightened even more as the man pointed to his throat.

"Soon, I promise. But not just yet." John's fingers still ran through the dark hair and soon the fingers on his wrist relaxed slightly but they didn't let go.

John didn't leave him after that. His shift had ended and the man refused to let go of him, he practically kept a death grip on him the whole time and when they did pull the tube from his throat John could only stand by and watch, but he kept a hold of the thin hand until it was over and then the man turned to John.

"You…" he started to cough and a nurse got him to take a few sips of water before leaving John with the man alone.

When he had calmed down the man looked up at John with something close to wonder in his eyes.

"You…you became a doctor."

John couldn't help the smile that found itself onto his lips. "You remember that?"

"Yes. The Doctor five year old, with the first aid kit in his bag."

John laughed. "Doctor five year old?"

"Yeah, that is how I came to think of you."

"I see." John smiled. "You became the curly haired boy."

They both smiled then.

"I er…I also signed up for the army." The man's eyes hardened slightly at that but John ignored it. It was a look he had become used to seeing in people when he told them that he had signed up for the army, but those people were people that knew him, people he had grown up with, that he was friends with, not people he hardly knew.

"When?"

"Two years. Once all my training is finished."

"I see."

Silence fell on the two for a while but neither went to let go of the other's hand and as another shudder ran through the man John once again ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why?" John asked.

"Why what?" The voice was soft but still deep even as he continued to shake.

"This…why this? Why use drugs?"

"It helps."

"With what? Killing yourself?" He could hear the anger in his own voice and part of him thought it odd at how much he wanted to protect this man, to just make sure nothing bad ever happened to him and he would never end up in a hospital bed like this again.

"What concern is it of yours?" The thin hand suddenly pulled out of John's and John instantly missed it.

"I…it's not."

"Then kindly leave."

"What?"

Eyes harder than steel alighted on John and John shivered at the coldness within them. But it wasn't from fear that he had shivered. It was because this man was obviously so used to hiding himself that it was second nature to him.

"You have no right to concern yourself over my wellbeing just as I have none over yours."

"I…what have you to be concerned about me for?" John asked defensively.

"Really? You are joining the army."

"That's nothing like this!" John said waving his hand over the man. "This, this is stupid."

"Yes, as is getting yourself shot or blown up while on active duty."

John shut his mouth then stood and left the cubicle. Angry at the other man he stormed out of A&E but before he hailed a cab he decided to go get a cup of tea first so headed up to the cafeteria.

Once he had his tea in hand John chose a chair in the far corner and collapsed, blowing gently on the hot liquid before taking a tentative sip. Letting the tea run through him, his eyes closed and slowly he started to feel himself calm down.

He started to ask himself why he had gotten so angry in the first place, why had he allowed that man, that stunningly beautiful, amazing man, to get to him so much. He had known him less than a day if he added up all the hours they had spent together, from the day in school to the encounter at the theme park to today, yet no one had gotten under his skin like he had.

Drinking the last of the tea John stood and headed back down to A&E. He was going to get his name, he had enough of calling him the man, or the curly haired boy, or the wet t-shirt boy or anything like that. He wanted to know what the man, that had haunted his dreams his whole life, was called and he was determined to get that today.

When he got down to the cubicle, however, it was empty. Frowning, John looked about knowing that the man wasn't scheduled for any scans or tests and there was no way he would have been moved to a ward.

Turning he spotted the staff nurse and went over to her. "Hey, where did the overdose go?"

"Brother came and got him, said he had him booked into a private facility. Guess the NHS is not good enough for a posh snob."

"Do you have his notes?"

"Yeah…umm" The nurse frowned and started to look through her folders searching for the patient. "That's odd."

"Not there?"

"No, but I swear I had them a moment ago!"

"It's alright. Do you remember his name?" John turned to the computer ready to put the name in.

"No…"

John sighed letting his eyes close.

"You knew him didn't you?"

"Not really." John turned from the computer and started to do his coat up. "I'm off home."

"K, night John."

"Night, Sarah."

~.~.~.~

Last time John had seen Him (yes by this point He had earned a capital H) John was on leave. He had just finished his first tour of Iraq, was thirty years old and had recently been promoted to captain.

John had been forced into a night out with a group of friends from Uni, a bit of a reunion as most of his old group of friends had been so busy with their lives that none of them had seen each other for a few years.

As the night progressed and John felt the alcohol running sweetly through his veins he made the others agree to go to a gay club. John had decided he wasn't much in the mood for a woman, not tonight. Tonight he wanted something different, something he had not had since his Uni days, and maybe it was because he was with his old friends, he wasn't sure, but all he really wanted was the feel of solid muscle and hard flesh under him.

So pretty soon John found himself dancing in the middle of one of the most popular gay clubs in the city while his friends happily sat and chatted.

As John danced he let the music wash over him, his eyes closing as he moved his body, moved it in time with the music and with the crowd around him.

He had only been on the dance floor for ten minutes when he felt hands on his hips and then a body press up against his back. Normally, John would have turned, would have looked to see who it was dancing with him, but instead his mind filled in the gaps. His mind showed him, Him. It showed a tall, lean body with pale skin, a mop of dark curls and those eyes, eyes that had caught John's and kept his heart all those years ago.

Sighing, John leaned back into the lean, firm body behind him, the hands on his hips tightening as John continued to sway with the music.

As his head rested against a bony shoulder, soft lips brushed against his neck and then moved up to breathe softly against his ear and then a voice, a voice that carried over the music, a voice he thought he had forgotten spoke.

"Hello, my doctor."

John's eyes flew open and he turned in the circle of His arms and looked up into those eyes.

"You!"

The man smiled and John did the one thing he had wanted to do all those years ago at Thorpe Park. He kissed that smile from that gorgeous face. Lifting his hands John delved his hands into those soft curls, curls he had been itching to feel once again since the time he ran his fingers through them in an attempt to soothe Him. As John kissed Him he felt those hands move around to his arse, pulling him closer still till they were touching from lips to thighs.

The kiss had started off hard and sloppy, but John soon regained control and before long he had the taller man almost melting against him.

When they pulled apart John kept hold of His head and placed their foreheads together. Breathing hard, John opened his eyes and was once again caught by those eyes. Growling, he took hold of His hand and started to drag Him to the bathrooms.

Once inside John ignored the others in the room and pushed Him into a stall, locking the door behind him.

The other attacked first, pushing John against the door and catching his lips with His own causing a moan to escape John. Kissing Him was exactly how John had dreamed it to be and yet it was so much more, it was hot and cold, hard and soft, tender and harsh all at the same time. It was like the two of them had both been wanting this just as much as the other and for just as long. John could practically taste the want, the desperation coming off the other and he knew that he probably tasted the same.

They kissed again until they both had to pull apart to breathe and then John just stared.

"Name." John demanded.

"What?"

"What is your name?" He growled.

"When do you leave?"

John paused, trying to understand what He meant, and once he did he bit his lower lip.

"I'm being stationed in Germany next week."

"Then no names." He said and once again attacked John's mouth.

John grabbed the other by the hips and pulled Him closer as he thrust forward, a moan escaping Him as he obviously felt how hard John had become in his jeans.

Breaking the kiss He started to kiss down John's neck as John pulled at His black shirt, pulling it from His tailored trousers until he was able to get his hand inside and finally touch skin. Sighing, John ran his hands from His stomach to His sides and then to His back, running his fingers down what he knew would be pale skin, using his nails so that he would leave red marks.

As he did this he felt those soft lips part against his neck and then teeth grazed the sensitive skin there causing John to tilt his head back give the man more access.

"Dear God." John gasped as He moved his hand down and cupped John's cock through his jeans.

"I want this in my mouth." The other whispered against his neck.

"Yes…please, God yes!"

The man kissed John once again till John was left breathless and begging as He had undone John's jeans and was pulling free John's cock and ever slowly started pulling on it.

"Please…damn it! I wish I knew your name."

"One day, one day I promise I will give it to you." He was then on His knees and swallowed John down till John felt the head of his cock touch the back of His throat.

The man was a tease, He used everything in his arsenal, from his hands to his lips, his tongue and even his teeth. He had John on the edge more times than John cared to admit and then somehow pulled him back only to push him to the brink yet again. By the time John came, his legs hardly held him up. If He hadn't been pushing him hard against the door John was sure he would have collapsed as he spilled into that amazing mouth.

As John caught his breath he looked down at the man on the floor as He tucked John back into his jeans and did them up. When He looked up John grabbed Him by the hair and pressed his lips against His, his tongue darting out licking the seam between the other's lips and tasting himself as he was given access to the other's mouth.

"Your turn." John breathed pulling the taller man to his feet and turning to push Him against the door.

John didn't give Him a chance to say or do anything as he instantly went to his knees, undid His trousers and soon had the long, flushed cock in his mouth. John moaned at the weight of His cock on his tongue, at the taste of Him, all male and spice; sweet and salty.

Sucking hard, he pulled his head back till only the tip remained in his mouth swirling his tongue around the sensitive skin there before running the tip of his tongue over the thin slit. The other had delved His hands into John's hair but He continued to let John have full control.

Swallowing him back down John brought his hand up to wrap around the base of His cock applying pressure just as He had done to John, holding Him off for as long as possible.

"I…God…John…" John paused but only briefly as the other tightened His hands in his hair, and then He was coming.

John continued to suck, slowing as the man came to the end of his orgasm, milking Him for all He was worth until He begged John to stop.

Licking his lips, John looked up at the other and glared. "You know my name."

"Of course I do."

"But…how?" John stood as He tucked Himself back in His trousers and then looked up at John.

"I've always known it.

John Watson, who lived with his mum and sister, his grandparents paying for him to go to the only school that had any places left when they moved to the outskirts of London.

John Watson, who played doctor to a young boy who had received a black eye after proving that one of his classmates had stolen from one of the other students. The boy was then transferred the next day as his parents had had enough with the continued bullying he had received.

John Watson, who spent his fifteenth birthday at Thorpe Park, who queued to go on Stealth for the third time but instead ran after a stranger to make sure he was okay, and then gave him his t-shirt because he didn't want the other to get cold.

John Watson, who cared so much for someone he had only met twice, that he stayed after his thirteen hour shift had finished and cared for him until the other pushed him away.

I apologise for that by the way, I never was very nice on a come down."

"John Watson." He lifted his hands up then taking Johns face with them. "I have been in love with you for a very long time, but now is still not the right time."

"Why?" John asked in a whisper leaning into His touch.

"Because when I have you I will have you fully, and you cannot give me that right now." He leaned forward then brushed his lips against John's. "I should go."

"No…" John's heart was in his throat and tears came unbidden to his eyes. "Please no."

"John, I promise, I truly promise you will have it, all of it, but not today." He kissed him again, this time for longer, and this kiss trumped all the kisses that had come before. This kiss spoke of love, it spoke of promises still not made, of a time that still waited for them, and it spoke of what was going to be.

John understood then, he knew that He was right, that John could not give himself fully, not while he was still in the army, not when he was to be deployed to war zones at a moment's notice. John wanted, he needed to give this man everything but now was not the time.

When the kiss ended John looked up into those impossible eyes.

"One Day." John smiled sadly.

"Yes." The other replied returning the smile.

There was another brush of lips and then He was gone, leaving John alone once again.

~.~.~.~

"John….John Watson!" John turned at the sound of his name frowning slightly at the slightly cubby man. "Mike, Mike Stamford."

"Yes, of course, Mike, good to see you."

John sipped at his tea as Mike ate his lunch next to him.

"Who would want me as a flat mate?" John said, only half joking.

"You know, you are the second person to say that to me today." Mike said with a smirk.

"Who was the first?" John asked only receiving a slightly sly grin in return.

~.~.~.~

Walking into the lab John raised his eyebrow. "Bit different from my day."

"Mike, can I borrow your phone?" John started at that voice. In fact his whole body tensed and then he looked to the far desk where He was sitting looking through a microscope.

"Sorry, it's in my other jacket."

"Here." John heard himself saying, his hand moving without his command to retrieve his phone. "Use mine."

The man looked up then and those amazing, impossible eyes widened.

"I…" Everything in the room had stilled until Mike cleared his throat.

"That night five years ago, was a hell of night wasn't it, John?" John turned to look at Mike stunned.

"You…" He started but Mike shrugged then walked out of the lab, John had no choice but to watch him go.

Gripping his cane John turned back to Him, part of him wanting to run. This was never meant to happen like this. John had meant to meet him again fit and stronger, not injured and weak.

"John…"

God that voice, that voice saying his name had been the source of many late night wank sessions. The memory of those lips around him, sucking him off had seen John through a lot, and now they were saying his name again.

"John?"

"Name?" John managed to say his eyes looking up as He closed the gap between them.

"John…" The taller man finally reached John His fingers hesitant as they reached out stopping just before they touched his face.

"Name." John said again, this time in the voice of a captain.

"Sherlock."

"Sherlock?"

"Yes, Sherlock Holmes."

"Well Sherlock Holmes, I'm John Watson and I am pretty sure that I have been in love with you since I was five years old."

Sherlock smiled and John once again did what he had done five years ago, he took that smile from him by kissing it away.