THE BEGINNING OR THE END:: REVENGE OF THE ANGRY AUTHORESS

(THE LOST ENDING)

(but first, a message to my loyal fans, the true ones who I really do appreciate and love, who respected my absence and never aimed me to death)

You don't have to read this. You don't want to. That's a promise. Just look at the title. It doesn't have to end this way, it doesn't have to end. This is a fan fiction, not real, end it however you want to. Sure, it was begun by one fan, but it can end by another. You aren't going to like this ending, that's a promise. If you do read it, read it good naturedly, because there is a present at the end for you loyal people, you who still have your imaginary casts members and the like, you who have never aimed me a bazillion times griping at me for not continuing. People have harassed me, and I'm tired of it. This is my revenge. I hope you like it.

And, without farther ado, here dearies, here it is, and don't even tell me you didn't ask for it.

-_~

Sesshoumaru followed the scent of his lousy, retarded, unworthy, useless, half-breed half-brother. Why was he searching for such a useless person as him? Because the great Sesshy-maru needed him right now.

'No, I need his bitch, there is a difference' Sesshy reminded himself, trying to maintain the little bit of pride he had left. Well actually, the remainder of his pride was so small now one couldn't really accurately call it even so much as a bit. Of course, for the sake of Sesshy-maru's sanity, and the value of our lives, we will.

Why did Sesshy-maru need Kagome?

The girl on top of his shoulders stirred and repeated the question she had been asking for the past hour once again. "Sesshy~maru-sama, what is… sex?"

That was why.

Sesshy~maru cringed visibly. Kami knew where she'd heard it from, probably Jaken, that ugly little green pervert. He hadn't the slightest as to why she was just deciding to ask about it now, other than as being part of her never-ending quest to rid him of all the pride he had. Well, he wouldn't lose this time! No, you wouldn't see this Sesshoumaru giving a sex talk to the little mortal girl currently braiding his hair atop his shoulders. No, instead he would go up to his lousy, retarded, unworthy, useless, half-breed half-brother, admit that he needed his bitches help, and have her do it…

"Is it… candy?" Oh god.

Assuming she was wrong by her Sesshy-maru's cringe, Rin continued guessing.

"Is it something you can eat? A game? Something Rin can play? Hmm…" She thought hard, knowing that none of those were correct because of all the cringes she had received, especially for that last one. "Hmm… I was thinking it was some kind of game, because Jaken-sama said he was really good at it, and I couldn't think of anything but a game that someone could be really good at… Sesshy-maru? Why did you stop walking?"

Sesshy-maru had indeed stopped walking. He had in fact, frozen in place after Rin related the news of Jaken being a self-proclaimed sex god. That sick little bastard.

"Rin…" He choked out her name, actually surprised that he still had the ability to speak. "Rin…" The great lord of the western lands was at a complete loss. "Just… just… wait… stop talking, Inuyasha's bitch will explain… but, what it is…" He stopped, trying to get the will to continue. "Whatever it is, I assure you, there is no way in all of the many hells that Jaken has ever done it, at least not with anything that isn't bumpy, old, short, and green. ...or maybe with that cologne wench."

The fates must have been feeling sorry for Sesshy-maru at that moment, for, before Rin could farther comment, Sesshoumaru walked through a clump of tress and found himself at a clearing with an old well. Now, this normally wouldn't be a great accomplishment if not for the fact that currently his lousy, worthless, ect. Half brother, along with his groupies, were within two feet of said well.

Sesshoumaru, for the first time, realized the problem involved with his plan. How would he go about doing this? Well, first, to get his attention, because, as expected, his worthless half brother was too stupid to notice his presence himself.

"Idiot." Sesshoumaru called to his brother with dignity, in form of greeting. Apparently, the idiot didn't here him. Well, he was still a good forty feet away, but still, his youkai blood couldn't be that weak. It seemed that his brother was in some sort of argument with his bitch. Inwardly, Sesshoumaru scoffed, it was just like Inuyasha, not to be able to control his own bitch.

"Idiot!" he called again regally. And, again, nothing. He repeated the process a few times before coming to terms with the fact that he might actually have to put some effort into it and walk up and get his attention. This coming to terms business took a good ten minutes, during which Rin had came up with a nice little ditty that when something like:

"Sex Sex! What is Seee~exx?

Is it a gaaammeee ex ex ex?

Can Rin plaaaayy ex ex ex?

Can Jaken teach Rin ex ex ex?

What… is… Sex!?"

Perhaps this little ditty played a large part in the coming to terms process. Regardless, by the time that he finally did come to terms with it, he was just barely in time to see Inuyasha jump down the well with a monk and a kitsune on his back.

Now his worthless half brother was rather strange, but…this was odd, even for him. And now! Now it appeared that Inuyasha's bitch was about to do the same as Inuyasha, only with the exterminator and the cat on her back. Well, he wasn't about to let that happen.

From the folds of his beautiful, girly haori, he withdrew a small pink object.

"Seshy-sama? What's that?" Rin asked innocently.

"Shut up Rin." Seshoumaru said in his usual, obey me blindly voice, completely expecting her to do so.

But instead..something very unexpected happened.

Rin leapt from his shoulders and stood in front of him, her hands on her hips. She was snarling. Foam was actually draining from her mouth.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU THINK I'LL JUST DO WHATEVER YOU SAY? FUCK THAT! I'M TIRED OF YOU AND YOU 'SHUT UP RIN!". JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 'Ooh! Look at me! I'm the great Seshoufuckingmaru-sama! Bow to my beauty! Fuck that and fuck you! That's right, I'm tired of your shit!"

"..NAN..NANI!?" Seshoumaru had never been so shocked in his life.

Rin broke off as she started coughing uncontrollably. The foam was gushing out of her mouth now. She fell to the ground, the fit was so powerful. In her fall, her hair fell off of her shoulders, exposing her neck. On her neck was a large, bloody bite mark, that, by all the powers of logic, Sesshoumaru should have noticed a long time ago, or smelt at least, but who ever said I was a fan of logic?

Suddenly, with the exposure of the mark, Sesshoumaru understood. Rin had gotten rabies. How? Doesn't matter. She has them and that's that. And, everyone knows what you do when a pup has rabies. Everyone's watched old yeller.

From no where, girly magical background music began to play. Seshoumaru somersaulted in the air, and, after a moment of implied nudity, he was back on the ground, wearing a ridiculously provocative pink dress.

He pulled out what looked like a mini-computer.

"Magick Computer-san!" eshoumaru whispered in his girliest voice.

"Yes?" Said the computer, sounding ridiculously like Barney.

"I need a rifle."

"What's the magic words?"

Seshoumaru put a finger up to his chin, pondering a moment. "Ah! Bippity bop pity boo!"

And a rifle was magically in his hand.

He began crying hysterically.

Mysteriously only noticing just now, Sango and Kagome turned around.

"What…what the heck is he doing?" Sango said.

Kagome, now crying, shooshed her friend and went to stand beside Seshoumaru, laying a hand on his shoulder. "It's what has to be done…she has rabies…haven't you saw old yeller?"

Sango looked confused.

Promptly, Seshoumaru shot Rin, and, still possessing a bit of taste, I shall leave out the details.

Suddenly, Kagome realized how hansom Seshoumaru was. So did Sango. Right, at this exact instant, right after killing a small child. Yes, just now, so did Kirara. Killing turned them on. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Completely in sync, Kagome and Sango, along with Kirara, did a bizarre cheer about how much they loved Seshoumaru.

"Marry us both!" Sango and Kagome both cried at the same time. Kirara meowed.

"What ? You know I only have eyes for my brother!"

"But… we love you!" they sobbed briefly. "well then..please release us from our pain by killing us using that pink bouncy ball you have.

Seshoumaru obliged. The bouncy ball broke open, exposing an incredibly ugly yellow thing.

"Pikachu!" said it.

Seshoumaru began to kiss it passionately. We shall tactfully leave this scene of the lovemaking between pikachu and seshoumaru amongst the dead bodies, and go instead into the future, to find out what's up with Inuyasha and Miroku.

500 years in the future, Miroku and Inuyasha had been confronted by a very odd foe. Said foe appeared to be a deranged teenage human girl. She was currently blocking the exit of the well house. Now, normally, such a teenage girl would be hardly a problem, but, since this teenage girl is friends with the almighty author of doom (aka: me) she has all the power in the world.

"What. Do you want?" Miroku fumbled, scared of that crazy look in her eye.

"To sniff you!" The girl cried.

"Stand back Miroku, love! I'll get her with Tetsugai!" Inuyasha, after giving Miroku a brief kiss, carried him bridal style a few feet away. Only to find that tetsugai had been replaced by a banana and the deranged teenage girl was dancing ecstatically.

"I KNEW YOU WERE GAY! I KNEW! I KNEW IT! NOW WHO'S CRAZY? NOW WHO HAS TO MUCH FREE TIME? HMMM? All those hours of screen capping finally paid off." Without a moments hesitation, the deranged girl, known by some as Kaylana, used her top of cool powers to capture Miroku and Inuyasha and force them to live in her closet.

500 years in the past, Kaede died of a heart attack.

Not knowing the truth, the Higurashi family assumed that Kagome had abandoned them, so they grew to hate her. Ten years later, after getting into web design, Souta was the proud owner of several Kagome hate shrines.

OWARI

I'm..really sorry it had to come to that. Really. But don't blame me. Blame the thousands (or at least tens) or idiots who Imed me, begging me to continue despite my lack of interest. Griping at me, trying to guilt me. I have a life, believe it or not. Really. I tried to be nice, really, I even tried to scare people away..I mean, how's this for aim info?

'

Listen dearies , I'm not a very social person. Once upon a great time, I wrote fanfiction, under the alias THEDIETYOFFUNDINNER, however, I'm afraid those days are over. I don't mind people talking to me...if they have something interesting to say other than "I LUVED YOUR FIC!". If you can provide good conversation, punctuation, and grammer, than I don't mind you IMing me.... otherwise, please leave me alone, chances are, I don't want to talk to you.'

And yet…I still got people like…Spencer… Spencer was, what they call, the straw that broke the camels back…or, in this case, the annoying fan who finally drove me over the edge. Here's what the lovely had to say:

Mdtspencer: hi
DeityofFunDinner: ?
DeityofFunDinner: Hello?
Mdtspencer: did u make the fanfic tb or te
DeityofFunDinner: ..yes.
Mdtspencer: plz keep the fic going it is great
Mdtspencer: the best ive ever read
DeityofFunDinner: It's really not that great...
Mdtspencer: yes it is
Mdtspencer: i have read alot of fics
Mdtspencer: it is great
Mdtspencer: but a guess u dont want to talk about it
Mdtspencer: thats what ur profile said
Mdtspencer: but i have one question why did u stop writing ur fic
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: I lost interest.
Mdtspencer: ohhhh
DeityofFunDinner: i got into webdesgin.
Mdtspencer: is that why u changed kittie-kitte.net
DeityofFunDinner: design*
DeityofFunDinner: ?
DeityofFunDinner: What do you mean?
Mdtspencer: well the backround looks diffrent
Mdtspencer: it used to be inu
DeityofFunDinner: No, I'm still into Inuyasha. Just not that fanfiction. The reason it's a new layout is because it's good web etiquet to change your layout often, otherwise people grow bored of it.
Mdtspencer: oooooohhhhhh
Mdtspencer: do u think what u wrote might happen
Mdtspencer: ???
Mdtspencer: ?
DeityofFunDinner: Nope.
DeityofFunDinner: Not at all.
Mdtspencer: darn
Mdtspencer: :-(
DeityofFunDinner: of course, I'm not rumiko takahashi, so I guess what I think doesn't matter much.
Mdtspencer: did u look at the reviews before u quit
Mdtspencer: ???
Mdtspencer: ?
DeityofFunDinner: I still read the reviews I get.
Mdtspencer: ohh
Mdtspencer: people are going to be sad now
DeityofFunDinner: yeah.
DeityofFunDinner: well.
Mdtspencer: because u never finshed it completly
DeityofFunDinner: Yeah.
Mdtspencer: so are u going to tell peeps that ur going to stop writing
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: ...I don't intend to.
Mdtspencer: so that means other peeps like me who have been waiting for u to cont
Mdtspencer: are going to keep wating
Mdtspencer: ?
DeityofFunDinner: I suppose.
Mdtspencer: brb
Mdtspencer: back
Mdtspencer: plz just write one chapter to finsh it up so the peeps will stop wating if ur sure u will not cont to right this fanfic
DeityofFunDinner: ...if I write a new chapter, you guys aren't going to like it.
Mdtspencer: why?
DeityofFunDinner: Because, you just wont.
Mdtspencer: well try it out u never know do u
DeityofFunDinner: Oh, you wont.
Mdtspencer: why does everyone die beause of tthe apclapse
Mdtspencer: i cant spell
DeityofFunDinner: I noticedl.
DeityofFunDinner: I'll write your ending.
DeityofFunDinner: check the story tommorrow and you'll have your ending.
DeityofFunDinner: promise.
Mdtspencer: thanks
DeityofFunDinner: but i'm warning you, you want like it.
DeityofFunDinner: but at least it will be over.
DeityofFunDinner: and people will stop bothering me.
Mdtspencer: thats
Mdtspencer: true
Mdtspencer: but if u change the ending and keep making the story peeps who love the fic will see and read
Mdtspencer: and give more reviews
Mdtspencer: but that is a big if right
Mdtspencer: ??
DeityofFunDinner: big is an understatement.
Mdtspencer: wow
Mdtspencer: what made u lose intrest
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: I don't know. things change.
DeityofFunDinner: people change.
Mdtspencer: but not everything changes
Mdtspencer: who knows next year u could be writeing the fic again
Mdtspencer: koosei 2004-01-26 47 Signed
oh, too bad. Good luck with it. Hope it returns to you soon.
keep writing!
ja ne!
Icy_Hot INU-LUVA 2004-01-20 47 Anonymous
UPDATE PLEASE UPDATE!! i ABSOLUTLY LUV your story
specially dat part wit the furniture dat can fit down a well. *wipes tear away* yeah... DUN EVA EVA DROP THIS STORY!

Mdtspencer: Hello Deity, first time reviewer long time reader, I understand where people think you go overboard on the humor, but I like that (hehe beds just big enough to fit down a well) heheh excellent story, sorry people donot understand that a story doesnt have to be all serious to be good, I dont even know if youll look at my review, but if you do , just remember you do still have faithful readers who dont care what you put down...as long as Inuyasha,Miroku,Sango,Shippo,Kagome,Kirara,Sesshoumaru,Rin,Kaede,Souta,Kags mom,even Ji-chan arent killed. Otherwise ill eat you soul lol. Keep up da good work :-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-))
DeityofFunDinner: ...you're giving me ideas.
Mdtspencer: what do u mean
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: ..nothing.
DeityofFunDinner: writing.
Mdtspencer: bad or good
DeityofFunDinner: I guess that's for you to judge.
Mdtspencer: so does that mean u are going to cont the fic or am i asking for miracles
DeityofFunDinner: I'm writing an ending.
DeityofFunDinner: that's enough.
DeityofFunDinner: or will have to be.
DeityofFunDinner: I'm writing an ending..just for the people like you.
Mdtspencer: Hello. This is the guy that e-mailed you a
few months ago, you know, the one that wanted you to update your story The Beggining or the End?.
You said you would have it updated before Christmas. Well guess what? You only have 4
weeks left before I go insane from waiting.
PLEASE, I am BEGGING you to UPDATE, the SUSPENSE
is boiling me ALIVE! This is probably the BEST
fanfic I have EVER read!I have been checking almost every day for the past 5 months for you to update.If you want to e-mail me back check my e-mail address(did I spell that right?).
Mdtspencer: these are all reviews about peeps who love this fic
Mdtspencer: but i have to keep what i said and that is plz keep writing this fic it is the best fic i have read and i have read over a 100
Mdtspencer: I am dropping all active fics except TBorTE. Sorry, but I don't have the time or passion to finish them, it's going to take all I have just to finish TBorTE. But, with all the negative feedback I got once I mentioned quiting TBorTE, I've decided to complete it to the best of my advantage. An update will come about, eventually, within two months... hopefully.

and that is what u said
Mdtspencer: just to tell u peeps would be happy if u just wrote one chapter every 3-6 months or somtin
Mdtspencer: u here
DeityofFunDinner: yes,
Mdtspencer: so what do u think of every thing i said
Mdtspencer: ???????????????
DeityofFunDinner: I'm writing my ending, ne?
Mdtspencer: what do u think of what i said
DeityofFunDinner: I think you all deserve the ending you want, so I'm giving you one.
Mdtspencer: okay
Mdtspencer: how long is it going to be]
DeityofFunDinner: at least 2000 words.
Mdtspencer: okay
Mdtspencer: the miroku and songo on was goo
Mdtspencer: d
Mdtspencer: im going to miss tb or te
DeityofFunDinner: yeah.
Mdtspencer: are u ?
DeityofFunDinner: nope.
Mdtspencer: why
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: I dunno.
DeityofFunDinner: you're now interupting my writing.
Mdtspencer: sorry
Mdtspencer: how far have u gotten
Mdtspencer: ?
Mdtspencer: ?
DeityofFunDinner: almost done.
Mdtspencer: wow
Mdtspencer: ur fast
Mdtspencer: how many words
Mdtspencer: ???
DeityofFunDinner: not sure.
DeityofFunDinner: i have to.
DeityofFunDinner: check the story tommorow and it will be updated.
DeityofFunDinner: i have to go.
DeityofFunDinner: ja ne.

Was I mean? Probably. Did I overeact…maybe. But frankly I don't care. Just…people like him/her/it need to leave me alone. I'm not into fan fiction anymore, I'm into writing real fiction, I'm in to web design. But I am sorry.

So here it is, my formal apology.

Dear normal sane viewers who left me alone,

If you are still reading this, I commend you for it. I told you if you stuck read it through, there would be a present, here it is, later, in this apology. I'm sorry I had to end it that way, I hope you guys understand. Life changes, and I'm into different things now. I love you all for your support and encouragement during these months. It's been over a year since I started this story, and it needs to end now, even if it ends unfinished.

And no, unlike a lot of authors, I wont give this story to anyone to finish. I love it dearly, even if I also think it needs to die. =_= I'll leave it up here, on ff.net (a place I rarely visit anymore). Fanfiction has gone to hell, all you ever see on here anymore is a bunch of dubbies running around writing lame fiction when they've saw all of 4 episodes, dubbed by people like funimation. I don't want to be a part of this anymore.

Not to say I regret doing this. I mean, I got a lot out of it. My writing got better, I made some friends, hell, it was through this terrible story that I met Kaylana who remains a great online friend still yet. One that doesn't just talk to me to beg me to update -___- like some people. Anyway, I appreciate your support, and because of it, I'll tell you how it was..supposed to end.

So, in reality, this is the lost ending.

Kagome Inuyasha get married, Seshoumaru attends wedding (the first half of the above story was actually what I had started on the wedding part 1, up until the whole rin cussing thing..) it's hilarious, as usual. Oh, and Kagome takes off Inuyasha's 'collar' releasing him of the evil osuwari of doom. However, one of the twins Sango has actually turns out to be the reincarnation of midoriko, which is why Tsuyu was trying to kill the child, fearing it would try to kill all demons….Tsuyu wasn't to be killed because frankly, a demon like her can't really be killed, instead, Sango and her would have had a talk, and, reaching some kind of agreement that if the child ever started doing that…it would be dealt with properly, they all went on their marry way and lived happily ever after. At some point in time, kagome would get pregnant, ect. The end.

Nothing great, nothing stupendous, nothing worth harassing anyone over. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me. If you really love me, you can follow me into the web designing world and visit my websites, the link to which kittie-kittie.net can be found in my profile. Thanks…god, how weird, I feel like crying now..I really did love this fic… such an end, such an end.

Sayonara,

-Heather-