Notes: References to sex in this chapter

Skye is missing. Well, Melinda isn't too worried about Skye being missing, she has made the additional effort of keeping an unobtrusive eye on the girl and she heard Sitwell tell Captain Rogers that Natasha had dragged the girl into the closet next to his office so technically Skye isn't missing. Melinda decides to give Natasha a moment to get whatever information she can from the girl, perhaps Skye can be a bit more honest under the intimidating eye of the red haired assassin. After all, Captain Rogers has joined her and Captain Rogers wouldn't let the assassin go too far.

Yes, but that was an hour ago and there was suspicious sounds from the closet. Surely the Black Widow wasn't torturing Skye for information in the closet, there is limited to space to torture for information. Melinda decides she would have to step in to ensure the girl's safety. Coulson hasn't mentioned it, but he gives Skye that look like he's unofficially adopted her.

Melinda swings the closet door open and - oh my. She struggles to keep the blandest face she has on, but the tangling of limbs. How does Captain Rogers even- that's a really big dangling bit- Focus.

She doesn't even blink and presses her lips so hard together that her lips look like a line, turning to the red haired assassin, Melinda says, "Explain."

Natasha makes a sound that sounds like a mix of a scoff and a snort and unwinds her bare leg from Captain Rogers waist, clearly not bothered by Captain Rogers' reddening face and his attempts to hide his dangling bits that weren't quite dangling but more of standing at attention. And to be quite frank, Melinda doesn't quite mind the view, it is a nice ass and impressive dangling… Dongs. "Skye is our soulmate," is all she tells Melinda and Melinda freezes.

There are that many things that stun Melinda and that includes finding Captain Chastity belt in the closet in a threesome with two other women, but the realization that Skye is the soul mate of Captain America and the Black Widow is fearsome and deadly combination. She's going to get..

"I'm going to get a drink." She says to no one in particular and before she slams the door shut so the three can go back doing...whatever they were doing, she tells Skye, "wheels up in.." eyes her and then sighs, "forty-five minutes."

Forty-five minutes should be sufficient for closet acrobatics. She slams the door shut and staggers into the Hub's mini mart and buys the largest whiskey bottle to drink. Coulson would probably need some as well when he's done talking to Vic.

The whole thought of Skye being soul mates with the Black Widow and Captain Chastity belt almost gives her an aneurysm. "I saw some amazing balls today," she tells Coulson as he settles down by the bar and uncaps the bottle of whiskey and pours himself a cup.

"Tennis balls?"

"No," she hides the smile behind her cup. "Just balls."

Coulson splutters at her a look. "What balls?"

"Captain Rogers' tennis balls."

It is another whole forty minutes when Skye walks back to the bus, somewhat bow-legged as she walks up the ramp with Natasha and Steve behind her. "Well- this is in," she motions at the plane. "My… unit."

"Cosy," Natasha says, spotting the FitzSimmons in the lab staring at them with mouths wide-open.

"Good day, I'm Steve Rogers," Steve nods at them and holds a hand out.

The two scientists splutters with Simmons passing out into a dead faint and Fitz flailing, hollering, "Warddddd! Ward!" he shrieks almost hysterically. "We got a- we got a-" He takes a deep breath and shouts louder than Skye thought it was possible. "We got Avengers on board!"

Ward bursts through the doors, pistol in his hand, eyes roving across the ramp to take the scene in before holstering his gun. He walks over to Fitz who is still pointing wildly at her bemused soulmates. "They're just people, Fitz," he says. Despite the fact that he too takes a breath, as though to gird his loins and firms his shoulders before taking Steve's hands and does a manly shake. "Grant Ward, Sir. Very excited to meet you, Sir." The words barely left his mouth when Ward quite literally flusters and stammers to correct his words, "I- I mean. Nice to meet you. Did I say excited? I meant nice."

"Get a hold of yourself! He's just a person!" Fitz tells him and pats Simmons' face. "Wake up Simmons. Simmons!"

"Fitz?" she mumbles. "I had the most amazing dream. I met Captain-" she stops and stares when she's helped up by none other than Captain America. Her hand accidentally slides down his biceps and she swallows audibly. "-America," she finished her sentence and struggles to come up with something.

"What's this?" May asks sharply and Simmons draws her hand away from Steve's biceps as though she's been burnt. "Skye?"

"I- I- They wanted to follow and then the bitchy woman would let -"

"We requested and Hand has allowed us to be assigned close to our soulmate," Natasha interrupts. Skye casts a grateful look at her where Natasha slings an arm over Skye's shoulder with a wry smile. "Where's Coulson?" she adds innocently.

"You mean you knew I was alive the whole time?" Coulson asks, stepping from the shadow.

"Well…" she smiles and replies in a recalcitrant tone, "I am the Black Widow after all."

Coulson doesn't say anything, only pinches his nose bridge and heads to the bar.

Many days later, Coulson unwisely decides to investigate the suspicious noises in the broom closet. He sees Steve holding the two women up as they… oh god. He slaps his palm over his eyes with a squeak. "Why are you all doing this in the closet?"

His childhood hero. In a closet with two women. His childhood hero with his pants down and that tight ass and... and… dear God. The size of that!

Despite his interruption, neither of the three reply him, with Steve going, "Oh god. Natasha. I can't hold-"

Coulson slams the door shut and shouts loudly. "Stop having sex in the closet!"