That night, Bellamy found me sitting on a log by the bonfire.

Ever since the leaves started turning and the wind grew colder, there had been two or three bonfires inside camp every night and people gathered around them for a while before hitting the tents.

Bellamy emerged from the crowd on the other side of the bonfire. The flames casted shadows of his messy, overgrown hair onto his face and I watched him conversed with a couple people on the way before reaching me.

"Hey," Bellamy greeted.

"Hey." I made room for him on the log and he sat down.

"Someone's had too much moonshine," he said looking at Jasper, who was dancing around the fire like a marionette on drugs, probably still high on endorphins from seeing Maya earlier that day. I grinned. "Sorry you got ambushed by Octavia. She went nuts on me when I told her, I had to give her something."

"It's okay. There was a moment there where I almost hit her with a rock but in the end it was good." The lines on his face eased out when he realized I was joking. "Did she really give you a hard time?" I asked.

He turned serious again and looked ahead at the fire. "She may have called me a few things. Apparently she was also under the impression that I was going to ask 'the wrong questions'," he said, calling back to our earlier conversation. I merely smirked at that and after a beat of silence, Bellamy's deep voice sounded again. . "Mostly she just couldn't- I think it wasn't so much 'the baby'" He mouthed the two words more than said them. "that she couldn't wrap her head around, but the fact that it's was you and me who made it."

I laughed and the sound felt foreign to me. How long had it been since I'd had a reason to laugh? Since I'd been allowed to?

"It's not that hard to imagine, is it?" Bellamy's eyes centered on me. "Well, stranger things have happened," I said finally.

"I thought I was going to my grave without ever mentioning that night again." Bellamy looked at me through the shadows of his hair and I reached for it, threading my fingers through the longer tresses over his forehead.

"You should take care of that. I can't even see your face any more."

Our relationship had stayed casually physical, even after that night. Nothing too intimate or too weird, just a brush of the shoulders, a pat on the back, a hug of relief when one of us thought the other one was dead (that had only happened twice, which was a lot considering how long we'd known each other). It wasn't strange for me to suddenly run my fingers through his hair, right? He didn't seem to mind. Bellamy was simply looking up at his unintended bangs with a smirk curling up the corner of his mouth.

"Next time you see a barber around camp, let me know."

He didn't try it often, but Bellamy made me smile. I dropped my hand and we watched the fire, maybe scooted a little closer when a gush of wind picked up from the forest and swept across the camp floating a few leaves and making the flames dance high.

After a while Raven showed up with a makeshift tray of cups lip , most likely filled to the rim with Monty's moonshine.

"Herb tea, anybody? Monty's latest batch." She gave us a complicit smile. The euphemism was meant for the few guards around seeking the warmth of the fire.

I was about to grab a cup from the tray when I remembered I shouldn't be drinking Monty's "herb tea" for a while. I missed it already.

"Not for me, thanks," I said pulling my hand back onto my lap.

Raven rolled her eyes impatiently. "Come on, Clarke. This is chill time, you always have one. You said it yourself, it helps with the cold."

"And I think I've had too much already." She didn't buy it.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen you take one all night. This batch doesn't even taste half bad."

Raven's inquisitive stare was getting a little too strong to handle. Thankfully Bellamy jumped in just in time.

"Give them to me," he said, taking two cups from Raven. "I'll make sure she has one." He turned to me like nothing was amiss. "You need to relax, princess, let the world rest on its axis for a while."

I rolled my eyes and sighed to play the part and Raven seemed satisfied, leaving Bellamy on 'Clarke duty'.

Once she was out of earshot and her back was turned to us, Bellamy downed the two shots back to back.

"What are you doing?" I whispered in shock.

"Taking one for the team," he said still trying to make the hard liquor go down. "She was right, not that bad."

I shook my head. "If you keep drinking for both of us, you'll be drunk the entire pregnancy."

The mood was light between us, aided in a way by the two shots in Bellamy's system, but it grew heavier when he brought up the subject of my mom.

"You need to tell the Chancellor. Not just because she's your mom. What if something happens? What if something goes wrong? She's a doctor, she should know."

"I know. I will. I just need some time to get used to the idea."

"I don't think we're ever getting used to it."

"Well, we still have a few months before the baby gets here."

There was not a sound coming out from Bellamy.

"You can say it, you know. The baby."

"Don't push it, Clarke. I'm not that drunk yet."

I didn't have that shot, but for as long as the fire crackled in front of us I did let the world rest on its axis, sitting on a log next to Bellamy Blake, watching Jasper make a fool of himself dancing to the nonexistent beat, forgetting I had a few months left before my whole life changed.

— - —

Well, I didn't have a few months after all. A week after that night by the bonfire, my life was already changing.

Raven found me one morning inside the medical tent bent over a tin can, throwing up everything I had ever consumed in my life and then some.

"Clarke! What the hell? You're still doing that? I know you said bad rations but it's been two days."

"I'm fine," I said, searching for some water to wash my face.

I knew I didn't sound convincing at all. The truth was that I'd been experiencing the joys of morning sickness for three days, except it wasn't limited to morning. It was more of an ever-present thing.

I was so concentrated on keeping it from my mom that Raven had already caught me on two of my least bright moments.

"Don't give me that. You look like crap, Clarke. Puking all over the place, you remind me of our next door neighbor back in Meca when she was..." Oh no... No no no no no! "Clarke, you're not-"

One look, she took one look at me and I knew she knew.

"Oh my God, you're pregnant?!"

"Shhht! Raven, don't broadcast it."

A thought crossed her mind, covering all traces of shock with a guarded look.

"Is it Finn's?"

I could hear the emotion trembling beneath her tone of indifference.

"No." It didn't matter that my answer was quick, with no hesitation. I knew she didn't believe me. I had to tell her the whole truth. "It's Bellamy's."

Shock colored her features again.

"What?! When?"

"What does it matter when?"

"It matters because I need some context for this. You and Bellamy?"

I sighed in resignation.

"That night after the grounders sent Murphy with the virus, when we blew the bomb on the bridge."

A wicked smile played on her lips.

"Oh, so I risk my life to save all our asses and you two were rocking the tent? I feel so loved."

"Raven."

"Relax, Clarke. I get it. Blake is a good rebound. Because it was a rebound, right? Or are you two...? Because if you are, I'm going to need a lot more context for that."

"We're not together. I'm not saying that sleeping with him was a mistake, but this wasn't supposed to happen."

Raven nodded considering the situation.

"Wow, you're going to be a mom."

"Don't tell me that. I don't think I can hear it yet."

Raven waved me off. "You'll do fine."

"You don't know that. I'm not supposed to be a mom."

"What are you talking about? You and Bellamy have been babysitting a bunch of juvenile delinquents for the past few months. What more of a trial run do you need? You'll be fine."

I scoffed but it was nice to have the vote of confidence.

"Don't say anything, okay?"

Raven's brow shot up. "Abby doesn't know?"

"No, and I'm still not ready to tell her so please."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me twice."

"Thank you."

"You should tell her, though."

Not this again. "I know."

"What if something happens?"

"I know! I'll tell her, okay? Just not yet."

"Alright, alright," she said, her hands high. "Man, you're cranky when you're pregnant. Must be the Blake blood taking over."

Seriously?

"Shut up."

— - —

I knew I had to tell my mom, and not just because Bellamy, Octavia and now Raven were nagging me about it, but because it was getting harder and harder to keep the symptoms from her.

First it was the throwing up part. I had to get up at the crack of dawn to sneak out of our quarters before she woke up. I'd been using the early shift in medical as an excuse but it was time for a rotation and she'd find it odd if I kept 'asking' to wake up before the sun. She knows I've never been a morning person.

Then there was the whole swelling-up part. I was closing in on ten weeks and I knew I wasn't properly 'showing' yet, but she was my mom, she'd know something was up. I knew something was up. Even Bellamy made a comment about how I seemed to be getting 'bigger'.

So he wasn't looking at my belly to be exact, still... If he could tell, so could Abby.

It was the end of week 10 —or week 11, Lincoln still couldn't tell which — when I finally told her. We were getting ready for bed and I took advantage of the fact that for once I wasn't feeling nauseous. The whole thing went badly, worse than I thought it would.

"Pregnant? How can you be pregnant?"

She can't expect me to answer that, can she? In any case I didn't, so she kept on pacing the small living quarters, gesturing with her hands up and down and taking an occasional glance at me. I just sat there and sighed.

"Since when are you and Bellamy Blake..."

I waited for her to finish the sentence but it became clear that she wasn't going to.

"What?" I said finally. "We're not together if that's what you're asking. It was one night, that's it."

I wasn't justifying not being with Bellamy, I just felt she should know how things were.

"You're not ready to become a mother, Clarke. You're still a child."

I had to get up.

"Mom, what am I supposed to do?"

She gave me a pointed look and I knew where she was going. I took a step back to distance myself from her line of thought.

"Don't," I warned her. "I'm not asking you for options, mom, I'm asking you for help. If you can't give me that then I guess this conversation is over."

I could hear my mother sighing behind me as I headed for the door.

"Clarke, you need to think about this."

I didn't turn to watch the words come out of her. "I'll find someplace else to sleep in tonight, mom. We can do this later," I said halfway out the door. If she replied, I didn't stay long enough to catch it.

That's how I ended up barging into Bellamy's tent in the middle of the night for the second time in my life.

— - —

I put this together on borrowed time and a borrowed smartphone cause I'm still on vacation away from my laptop but I just wanted to keep in touch with the story. Let me know what you think and thank you for reading! Lots of luv, WordaholiC.