If you've read Dauntless Gray, you may want to skip to where it says Chapter 1. The beginning of this is a summary and a list of characters for anyone who hasn't read that story.

Summary

First, I do recommend that you read Dauntless Gray before you start this story, but if you don't have the time right now to read a 64-chapter book and you want to jump right in to this one, here is what you need to know from Dauntless Gray. Dauntless Gray and The Blackest Shade of Gray are intended to be canon. At times you will even see quotes from the original books to back up what I have done in my story.

Dauntless Gray is the story of Hana, Zeke's and Uriah's mom. She originally came from Abnegation. She transferred to Dauntless the same year Jeanine chose Erudite, Tori left Erudite for Dauntless, and Andrew abandoned Erudite for Abnegation, which also makes it the same year Natalie went to Abnegation instead of Erudite.

Hana works in the control room and discovered Natalie being in the wrong faction multiple times. When she actually catches her in Amity (during a game of Dare), she ends up being recruited by Natalie. Hana learns that Natalie came from the other side of the fence. She also knows a little about the Divergent. She helps Natalie from time to time, both from the control room and in person.

In her personal life, she is best friends with Leeann Pedrad/Pedranov. Leeann has a brother named Nick and a cousin Eli. Hana is attracted to Eli, even though he is dating someone else. Jude, Eli's girlfriend, is… less than stable. She attacks Hana, but Eli and Nick save Hana. Eli breaks up with Jude, and a couple of months later, he asks Hana out. They date without their friends knowing it and end up getting engaged. After Jude finds out, she tries to kill Hana. Jude ends up dying after Eli and Chaz (Leeann's husband) save Hana.

The last chapter of Dauntless Gray is Hana getting ready to leave for the Hub to marry Eli.

Characters

Because the books in the Dauntless Gray series are set pre-Divergent, they rely heavily on both younger versions of canon characters and on characters that I have created. I was asked early on in Dauntless Gray to leave reminders of who the non-canon characters were at the start of any chapter they were in, to help people remember.

Here is, I think, a comprehensive list of ALL the characters, both canon and non-canon, who have appeared so far in Dauntless Gray. Faction of birth and faction of choosing are given at the beginning of each description. I will not be listing any of these characters at the beginning of any of the chapters of The Blackest Shade of Gray. All characters who show up at the beginning of a chapter of The Blackest Shade of Gray are non-canon (or obscure canon) characters that first show up in this book.

Canon Characters-

Hana Wren (soon to be Pedrad)- Abnegation/Dauntless Main character: she "traded places" with Natalie Wight at her Choosing Ceremony. She is aware that Natalie came from the other side of the fence. She helps her out in the control room, and sometimes in other places.

Natalie Wright (Soon to be Prior)- Outside the fence/Dauntless/Abnegation She came from the Bureau (although so far she's only referred to it as the other side of the fence.) Hana saw her in the wrong faction, dressed like she belonged there; when Hana asked her about it, she then recruited Hana to help her. She is engaged to Andrew Prior.

Andrew Prior- Erudite/Abnegation Engaged to Natalie Wright. Natalie put him forward as a possible council member.

Tori Wu- Erudite/ Dauntless She was in Hana's initiation class. She still keeps in touch with her brother, George.

Max- Dauntless/Dauntless Currently he is the youngest leader of Dauntless, probably in his mid- to upper-twenties. He oversaw Hana's training.

Harrison- Dauntless/Dauntless One of the trainers for Hana's initiation class.

Grace- Abnegation/Abnegation Childhood friend of Hana's.

Jeanine Matthews- Erudite/Erudite (same Choosing Ceremony as Hana) She tried out her Fear Serum on Hana's class. It doesn't work right… yet… She is Norton's protégé.

Norton- Erudite/Erudite Erudite's leader. He has heart problems and has started telling Jeanine about the threat the Divergent represent

George Wu- Erudite/? (Yes, we all know what he will choose, but we aren't there yet!) He still sees Tori even though they are in different factions. He will go through his Choosing Ceremony in approximately 2 years.

Bud- ?/Dauntless Tattoo artist and Tori's boss.

Gus- Dauntless/? (although if you recognize the name, you know where he ends up) Currently 4 years old

Amar- Dauntless/? (again, you should know where he ends up) currently 2 years old.

Niles- ?/Candor training to become the main questioner for people under truth serum in Candor.

My characters

Pedrads

Eli - Dauntless/Dauntless Hana's fiancé and then husband for most of the book! :-) He works in Tech Support.

Leeann (Pedrad) Pedranov- Dauntless/Dauntless Eli's cousin and Hana's best friend. She works for Ava, one of the Dauntless leaders. She is married to Chaz.

Nick- Dauntless/Dauntless Leeann's older brother (same age as Eli).

Taylor- Dauntless/Dauntless Eli's mom, older sister of Nick's and Leeann's mom. We know Taylor is Dauntless-born because Leeann says both her family and Eli's took the Pedrad name from their moms and that the Pedrads started the zip line.

Abram- ?/Dauntless (Abram's home faction will, I think, come out in this book) Eli's dad and older brother of Nick's and Leeann's dad

Tonya- Dauntless/Dauntless (deceased-suicide when Nick and Leeann were young) Nick's and Leeann's mom, Taylor's younger sister

Evan- ?/Dauntless/Factionless Nick's and Leeann's dad, Abram's younger brother. He was kicked out of Dauntless for basically abandoning his kids after his wife's death.

Great-Great Grandpa Gregor- Dauntless/Dauntless Eli's Great-Great Grandfather. He had a bias against transfers until he fell in love with one. He created the roof top garden for his wife. He wrote a letter that Nick gave to Eli, about falling in love with a transfer.

Great-Great Grandma Vi- Amity/Dauntless Eli's Great-Great Grandmother. Went by Violet in Amity.

Hana's family

Mom- ?/Abnegation She doesn't have a name.

Dad- ?/Abnegation He doesn't have a name either.

Gayle- Abnegation/Abnegation Hana's older sister, member of Abnegation, recently selected to be a member of the council. She has a daughter named Jillian and is pregnant at the beginning of this book.

Stephen- ?/Abnegation Gayle's husband

Jillian- Abnegation/? Gayle's daughter, she's 3.

Isaac- Abnegation/? Hana's younger brother. He'll be Choosing in 2 years (in the same Choosing Ceremony as George).

Hana's Class

Abilyn- Candor/Dauntless She works in Factionless Patrol. She'll marry Ben the same day Hana marries Eli.

Bekah- Erudite/Dauntless She is a nurse in the Infirmary, and will marry Conner the same day Hana marries Eli.

Angie Tucker- Dauntless/Dauntless She works as cook (cake maker,) married to Rob.

Rob Tucker- Dauntless/Dauntless Married to Angie.

Chaz (Romanov) Pedranov- Dauntless/Dauntless Leeann's husband; he works in maintenance.

Kelly- Dauntless/Dauntless former roommate of Hana's and now Tori's roommate; she's had crush on Nick since she was young. She works somewhere in the Pit.

Tyson- Dauntless/Dauntless Hana's only date besides Eli

Abe- Candor/Dauntless

Control room staff

Sultana- Erudite/Dauntless supervisor; also Rais's mother, Amar's grandmother

Miles- ?/Dauntless supervisor

Jeff- ?/Dauntless supervisor

Carly- Dauntless/Dauntless Good friend of Hana's. She's also she has been pointed out by Natalie is as possibly being Divergent. Gus's mother, married to Micah.

Conner- ?/Dauntless Co-worker of Hana's, also Bekah's fiancé (husband for most of the book)

Sue ?/Dauntless Control room staff

Shawn ?/Dauntless Control room staff

Dan ?/Dauntless Control room staff

Jan ?/Dauntless Control room staff

Bob ?/Dauntless Control room staff

April- ?/Dauntless Control room staff

Phil-?/Dauntless Control room staff

Other

Jazz- Amity/Dauntless One of Hana's trainers, married to Rais, Amar's mother.

Rais- Dauntless/Dauntless childhood friend of Eli's and Nick's, Amar's father, Sultana's son. He works on Factionless Patrol.

Jude- Dauntless/Dauntless (deceased) Eli's ex-girlfriend. She was absolutely possessive about Eli and tried to kill Hana. She worked on Factionless Patrol.

Marley Hudson- Dauntless/Dauntless Eli's ex-girlfriend, known as the rumor mill of Dauntless

Frank- ?/Dauntless (Mentioned) Worked at the Tattoo Parlor with Bud. He died before Dauntless Gray started.

Zane- Dauntless/Dauntless- Jude's fiancé, Paula's ex-boyfriend. He works on Factionless Patrol. He looks a lot like Eli.

Trina- Dauntless/Dauntless (believed deceased) Kelly's older sister. She was a Dauntless fighter and supposedly died during a bout. In reality, she is Divergent and was the first person Natalie rescued from the city.

Kat- ?/Dauntless Fought against Trina in her final bout; everyone believes her punch to the head killed Trina.

Paula-?/Dauntless Zane's ex-girlfriend. She lied for Jude when Jude was accused (correctly) of beating up Kelly, but later she told Kelly the "truth" of what she saw before Trina died. She works on Factionless Patrol.

Micah- ?/Dauntless Carly's husband, Gus's father.

Ben- ?/Dauntless Abilyn's fiancé/husband. He works Factionless Patrol with Abilyn.

Ava- ?/Dauntless One of the Dauntless Leaders

Mr. Wu- ?/ Erudite Tori's and George's dad

Mrs. Wu- ?/Erudite Tori and George's mom. One of Norton's top 10. (meaning she has one of the ten highest IQ's in Erudite.)

Dr. Caroline- Erudite/Erudite doctor who treated Hana when Jude gave her a concussion.

Daphne- ?/Candor one of the questioners at Marley's inquisition into Hana's accidents

Roger Hudson- ?/Dauntless Marley's dad

Alix Hudson- ?/Dauntless Marley's mom

Marisa-?/Erudite respiratory therapist, who treated Hana for smoke inhalation after the fire in the control room

Chapter 1 Dauntless and Abnegation

When I came to the Hub for Gayle's wedding, and then again for Leeann's last year, it didn't strike me how different the wedding styles are for each of the factions as much as it does now.

Abnegation wears new clothing. That's all. It looks the same as what they wear every day, only they haven't worn it before. But they will wear it again: it will become part of their everyday wardrobe, and soon they won't be able to tell it from any other set of clothes in their closet.

Amity wears clothes that are too dressy to work on the farm. They are clothes that they will wear again, but only on special occasions. The girls all have flowers in their hair and some carry a handful of them. Each boy has a matching flower pinned to his shirt.

Candor dresses up. They arrive on the bus just like Abnegation, but their dresses are much fancier than those from any other faction. They are still black and white, of course, but the dresses have flounces and ribbons, bows and beads. I will have to ask Abilyn, sometime, if they honestly ever wear them again.

Erudite, Bekah confided in me when she was showing me her dress for the first time, thinks it is illogical to only wear a dress once. The outfits they wear today won't become part of their everyday wardrobe, but they will be reused for board meetings, other people's Nuptials Day, funerals, and other special occasions. The dresses are longer and the detail work on them is more elaborate.

Dauntless wedding dresses tend to be crazier than all the other factions, of course. After all, we still have to jump on and off a train in them, plus we have to complete our first activity showing our bravery as a married couple.

Abilyn chose a super frilly dress- no surprise there. Her skirt comes to her knees and is layer upon layer of black tulle with sequins worked into it; the top is long-sleeved with more sequins.

Bekah's dress is more tailored, with a full skirt that comes to mid-shin on her. It's full, but without the fluff that Abilyn has. The bodice is fitted and has sleeves that end right at her elbows. I fully expect we'll see it on her again, on special occasions.

Leeann had a lot of say in picking my dress- maybe too much say. I wanted to wear the dress I wore last year for her wedding. I've never heard her groan so loudly as I did the day I made that suggestion. She finally won the argument about the dress when she calmly acquainted me with the fact that she knows what Eli likes better than I do, so she would give me two options to choose from.

Of course that idea didn't exactly work, either. The two dresses she me gave to pick from were so revealing that I had to remind her I was hoping my parents would come to the Nuptials Ceremony at the Hub, and I do not want to embarrass them. When we found the right dress, we both knew it. The base of it is a full body suit of tank top and pants, with a long-sleeved jacket. I'm not sure what drew Leeann to it, but for me, it was definitely the skirt. It's a full skirt similar to Abilyn's, made up of layers and layers of a lacy material that falls to mid-shin on me, and because of the way the lace works on it, it is not just black, but it is also a very, very dark gray. It reminds me of the ring Eli gave me when he told me he didn't want me to completely lose the Abnegation parts of me that he loves.

Once we are on the train, Eli pulls me away from Leeann and Chaz and everyone else we share the car with, just far enough so that he can whisper, with a grin, that my dress is perfect, so I know he sees the gray in it, too.

It is our names posted outside of the Choosing room at the Hub that finally makes everything feel real to me. Leeann fussed and preened over me all morning at Dauntless and then went through half of it again after we jumped off the train, to the point that even I realize I look pretty. But even all of her efforts didn't make the fact that Eli and I are getting married today seem more real than seeing it posted where my parents can see it, too.

I look over at Eli and grin. He smiles back, but I can tell he's still not happy that I won't hold his hand or kiss him today, at least not here at the Hub, until after we are married. At least he understands that this is because I'm hoping my parents will be here. I'm just more comfortable following Abnegation behavior before the ceremony for their sake.

I look around, hoping to see at least one of them, but they are harder to spot here than they are at Visiting Day, because here there are many other people dressed in gray.

The first people that I know in gray are Natalie and Andrew. They stand close to each other, but in typical Abnegation style, they don't touch. Ava stands near them, talking, but there's no one in blue near them. I wonder where Andrew's family is.

The next person I see in gray is Marcus Eaton. He is between Gayle and me in age, but he's the type of person that everyone knows. He seems to draw people to him; he has the type of personality that people trust and follow. I never have been able to figure out why I don't… There is a girl I don't know standing near him. She's not pretty in the conventional sense, and being in Abnegation certainly hasn't helped her, but they stand close enough that I wonder if they are getting married today. Parents in blue stand next to them, so I think they are. If she transferred from Erudite, then they would be her parents.

I keep looking, searching for someone else in gray. I see Mom first. She came! Then I see Dad next to her, and Gayle with Stephen, and Isaac. My eyes fill with tears. They came. They all came.

I get Eli's attention; he smiles at me and follows me over to my family.

I bob my head to each of them. Mom's eyes, like mine, have tears in them. "Mom and Dad, this is Eli."

Eli nods to them like we practiced.

They bob their heads back.

"My sister Gayle, her husband Stephen, and my brother Isaac," I introduce each of them in turn. I smile at Gayle as I notice her expanding waist from my new niece or nephew.

"Eli." Mom smiles at him. Dad eyes him almost suspiciously.

Leeann bounces up and tugs on Eli's arm. "Aunt Taylor says she needs to talk to you."

"Tell Mom I'm with Hana's parents, and I'll be there soon."

"You're Taylor and Abram's son." Mom confirms. The tone of her voice tells me that Gayle must have mentioned something to her.

"Yes," Eli answers.

"Why didn't we ever meet you on Visiting Day?" Dad is wary.

"I'm in tech support. On Leeann's and Hana's Visiting Day, I was called in on an emergency. The next two years, I was scheduled to work since I didn't have any family members who were initiates."

I can tell Dad is wondering why Eli didn't tell them we were dating so he could have the day off to meet them, or if we are getting married after dating less than six months. I'm not sure how to explain Dauntless' dating customs to my dad. I know he'd approve of how Eli and I dated if he compared it to that.

"Do you mind if I come with you and say 'hi' to your mother again?" Mom asks.

"That's fine," Eli smiles at her, a much smaller smile than normal, but I can tell it is sincere. "She mentioned to me that she hoped to see you again."

Eli, Mom, and Dad walk off together, leaving me with Gayle, Stephen, and Isaac.

Mom and Taylor talk together, but Dad and Eli are off to the side, talking separately.

I look at Gayle. "What's Dad doing?"

Stephen laughs a controlled Abnegation laugh. "My guess is that he's trying his hardest to intimidate a Dauntless with the same, 'Don't mess with my daughter' speech he gave me."

I look over at Stephen in disbelief. "What?"

"Your dad is a little protective over his girls." Stephen smiles at Gayle. "He read me the riot act when I asked him if I could marry your sister." He cranes his neck to see Dad and Eli. "I think he's even more concerned about you, since he isn't there with you. He supported your decision to go to Dauntless, but he's still worried about what kind of a man you're going to find there to marry."

I shake my head. "So you think he's seriously trying to threaten Eli?" I can hardly keep the wonder out of my voice.

Stephen, Gayle, and Isaac all nod.

"Not that Eli would ever hurt me, but what would Dad do, if it came to that?"

Stephen looks at me seriously, like he can hardly believe I'm asking the question. "He'd do whatever he could, even if it meant him dying."

My eyes cloud with tears again. That sounds like my selfless Abnegation father.

I look at them both, standing there, my father and my fiancé. I wonder if Eli will tell Dad how he protected me from Jude. As long as Eli leaves out the part that he ever dated Jude, the fact that he saved me from her should convince Dad I'm in good hands.

I train my eyes on Gayle. "Remember a couple of years ago when I told you I found out the person who who attacked the Candor boy was Dauntless and not Factionless?"

Gayle nods, her brow wrinkled in confusion at the change of subjects.

"Remember how I told you that Nick and Eli were keeping an eye on me?"

Gayle's eyes round in remembrance, and there is a faint glimmer of something in her eyes- maybe it's understanding? Maybe the memory serum that Natalie said Gayle was given after she told her about Eli doesn't work as well as Natalie thinks it does. "I'll let Dad know," she tells me.

I take a deep breath. I hadn't planned on telling them this, but I want to make sure Dad understands that Eli will keep me safe, that he would never hurt me, that he would also die for me. "Gayle, she tried to kill me. More than once. Eli saved my life."

"Is that why…?" Stephen doesn't seem to be able to finish his sentence.

I shake my head emphatically. "No. We were already engaged when that happened."

Isaac looks over at Dad and Eli, then back at me. "You don't think Eli will tell Dad he saved your life, do you?"

I press my lips together. "I'm not sure."

"We'll make sure he knows," Isaac assures me. "I'm glad you have him."

Mom, Dad, and Eli come back to where I am waiting fairly quickly. Eli looks amused at something; Stephen must be right: Dad must have threatened him. But Dad looks more relaxed. I'm hoping it means their conversation went well.

The hallway is beginning to clear. "We should go in and sit down," Mom says softly. She touches my face, and then suddenly surprises me by pulling me into a hug. "I love you," she whispers. I hug her back, trying to remember the last time she hugged me.

Gayle hugs me quickly, too. "I have the strangest feeling that I know he's a good guy," she whispers in that brief moment.

"He is," I whisper back, wondering again if she remembers some of what Natalie told her about Eli when they went and to meet the people on the other side of the fence together.

Stephen nods at me and follows Gayle and mom. Isaac awkwardly hugs me next, but says nothing.

Dad… Dad just looks at me for a moment. I think about nodding good-bye to him and walking off, but suddenly I feel myself pulled into my father's arms. "I love you. If you ever need me, I'm still here for you." I blink back tears as he pulls away.

Then Dad surprises me again. He holds out his hand for Eli to shake. "I'm trusting you to take care of her." Then he takes my hand, without letting go of Eli's, and puts them together. He walks off and leaves us holding hands.

This year, it's Max's turn to do the Dauntless ceremony at the Hub. As he starts calling names, I notice again the scar that runs through his eyebrow, the scar he got during my initiation when he and Jude were attacked by the Factionless man while they were on patrol. A shiver runs through me at the thought of Jude.

Eli looks at me from the corner of his eye; then he slowly reaches his hand out to my leg, rubbing my thigh to comfort me.

Fortunately, we are far enough down the list of couples, that I have myself calmed down by the time Max calls our names. "Hana Wren and Eli Pedrad." We stand up in front of him. "Does anyone know of a reason Hana Wren and Eli Pedrad should not be married?" His voice booms.

For a moment I hold my breath, expecting to hear Jude or maybe Marley speak up, but Jude's not here. She's gone forever. And Eli made Marley promise to not show up at the Hub. So there is no response.

"By what name will you be known?"

Eli and I look at each other. He grins and I smile back. "Pedrad."

Max smiles back at us. "Hana Wren and Eli Pedrad have decided to join their lives and their names. They are now Eli and Hana Pedrad."

We turn around to face the cheering Dauntless, but I'm not looking at them. My eyes are fixed on the Abnegation section where my family sits. Isaac gives me a nod of approval. Gayle smiles, really smiles, like she used to when we were kids alone in our room. I see the tears in Mom's eyes as she keeps her Abnegation smile firmly in place. Once again, thought, Dad is the one who surprises me the most. He's smiling, but it's the tear that runs slowly down his cheek that astounds me.

As usual Dauntless takes off running with a whoop and a cheer as soon as the ceremony is finished. I'm starting to wonder if the majority of Dauntless simply can't handle being still that long and they all have to burn off the extra energy as soon as possible.

Before we take off, I look at again at my family, one more time, the family that I left behind. There is an ache in my heart. Getting married changes things with them again. No longer can I expect them to show up and see me on Visiting Day. When we- if we have kids- I'm expected go see them if I'm pregnant on Visiting Day, to let them know they are going to be grandparents, and then I am to take their grandchild one time so the grandparents can see him or her, and then that is it. After that, in order to "protect" the child from even knowing about their parent's original faction, I'm not supposed to have any more contact with them.

I might see Gayle or Isaac after that, if they decide to come on Visiting Day to let me know when our parents are dead.

So I take my brief glance of them smiling at me, and then I turn away. Dauntless- Eli is my family now. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. I am Dauntless now.

We chase after the rest of the faction, hand-in-hand, until we reach the stairs. We never talked about it, but we both know what is going to happen on them. We are almost to the bottom when I see the place. As soon as I start to jump over the railing, I feel Eli's sure hands on my waist, guiding me, making sure I make it over. They leave me for the barest of seconds while he jumps himself, and then they are back, steadying me.

When we reach the bottom he pulls me over to the side. His lips find mine for just an instant, and then he pulls back and whispers in my ear. "Don't ever do that without me."

Back in Dauntless, we have our own Nuptials Day rituals to complete. Eli rubs his thumb over the back of my hand to help keep me calm while we wait for our turn at the echo chamber. It doesn't take long before it is our turn; we yell our names into the chamber and listen to it repeat back, "Eli and Hana Pedrad," over and over. Eli stands behind me with his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight against him.

I close my eyes and listen to the wishes our friends yell after us.

"Long life!"

"Kids!"

"Happiness!"

"Safety!"

"Adventure!"

"Love!"

And then we're off to test our bravery together.

Eli and I separate for a couple of minutes while we get ready to do the ropes course that will be our brave activity for the day. Since we aren't actually trained like the rope walkers, we wear vests with ropes that are hooked onto the rope, just in case we slip.

When they have me ready except for attaching me to the rope, I head back to where I'm supposed to meet Eli. I recognize him from the back, tall with broad shoulders, but he doesn't have his vest on yet. I walk up behind him and put my arms around him. In that instant, I realize something is off, just a little. I'm not hugging Eli. I step back, ready to apologize, but the apology dies on my lips when I realize who I just hugged.

Zane.

His eyes brown eyes are filled with tears. He blinks hard. "Hana." His voice wobbles.

"Zane." I swallow hard. "I'm sorry, I thought…" My voice trails off as I hear Jude's voice taunting me. 'Are you the only person who doesn't realize how much Zane looks like Eli? Zane was always, only just to get Eli jealous. I only made him propose to me because I thought it would make Eli realize what he's about to lose'

Zane gives me a small smile. "It's okay. It's just ...for a second, I thought maybe…" he shakes his head. "I was just letting my imagination run away from me."

I wish I knew what to say. I can't tell him I'm sorry, because that would be a lie. I'm relieved that Jude is dead.

Suddenly he takes a step backward. "I've got to go." He turns around and leaves quickly.

I'm puzzled by his sudden departure until I feel a hand that I recognize on my shoulder. Eli.

"What did Zane want?" Eli asks softly.

"I'm not sure." I don't tell Eli that I mistook Zane for him. It was an accident. It didn't mean anything.

At the end of the day, we walk hand-in-hand to our new apartment in the Pire. Eli's grin hasn't left his face all day, and my smile hasn't left mine. Despite everything that has happened in the last couple of months, we made it. His thumb rubs up and down the back of my hand, like he can't believe I'm really here. I'm not sure I can believe it either.

We get to our new apartment up in the couples housing area of the Pire. The pressure of his hand stops me as I reach for the doorknob. He pushes me against the wall and kisses me. My arms wind around his neck, and I kiss him back. I'd rather he'd have waited until we were inside, but we are Dauntless and we are married, and I'm not about to stop him.

"We did it!" Eli whispers against my mouth.

I pull back just enough to nod, and then bring my mouth back to his.

Eli bends down, and suddenly I feel his arm behind my knees, as he lifts me up into his arms. He opens the door to our new home, the place he hasn't let me back into since I dropped off the majority of my things yesterday.

He sets me down, facing him, and he closes the door. Reluctantly he pulls away from me. "Hana…" His voice is nervous. What is he nervous about? Well, except for the obvious, maybe. "You're going to have to help me with this."

Eli turns me around.

What I see in that first moment is the two kitchen chairs pulled out from the table, sitting side by side, with a large bowl filled with water beside them. Two towels are tucked between them, along with a bar of soap.

I stare at them for a moment, and my love for this man grows even more.

"It was a long time ago when you explained the set up. Leeann and I tried to remember, but we're not sure that we remember exactly how you said it goes," Eli sounds unsure. "Do I need to change anything?"

Wordlessly, I shake my head. My fingers find his and I grip his hand tightly, then tug him to me and reach up on my tip toes to kiss him. When I left Abnegation, I never, ever, expected this. It never crossed my mind that any man would be willing to give me an Abnegation wedding, even if it is just the two of us, behind closed doors. Of course, back then I didn't know Eli.

When we stop kissing, he leads me to the chairs. "Who goes first?" he whispers.

"You," I can hardly say the word around the lump in my throat.

He sits me down on one of the chairs and kneels in front of me. "I don't know what to say."

"I'll tell you."

He slips off my shoes and settles my feet into the water. It is warm. I look at him, genuinely puzzled. Except for those few moments getting ready for the ropes course, he's been by my side all day. There is no way this water can be warm.

"Leeann," he says simply, in answer to my unasked question.

I smile and shake my head, remembering the smile she gave me and the secret twinkle in her warm brown eyes when she left.

Eli's deep brown eyes look up at me expectantly.

I swallow hard and with my eyes fixed on his, I feed him the first line. "I am selfish. I want you to be mine and mine alone."

His hands and the soap are in the water. "I am selfish. I want you to be mine and mine alone." He smiles at me. I smile back, knowing he means what he says. We both mean it.

"If you can accept that, I will give myself to you selflessly."

Then his hands are on my feet. "If you can accept that, I will give myself to you selflessly."

"I will give you my heart and my devotion."

"I will give you my heart and my devotion." Eli's soapy fingers massage my feet as he cleans them. In that moment, it feels so good that I can hardly believe the Abnegation do this.

"I will give you my strength and my resources." My voice catches. He's given me so much of his strength lately.

Eli smiles back at me. I see the strength in his smile. I know no matter what the circumstances are, he will be there with strength for what I need. "I will give you my strength and my resources."

"I will give you my life," my voice catches and turns into a whisper, "and my love."

Suddenly, his hands leave my feet. He dries his hands on one of the towels and presses it against my check. "I will give you my life and my love."

For a moment we just sit like that, thinking about how close we came to him giving his life for me in the last month. Things with Jude could have turned out so differently.

"I will selflessly care for you above all others as long as we live." I turn my head and press my mouth to his palm.

"I will selflessly care for you above all others as long as we live." His hand turns my face back to him and we kiss.

"Hana," he whispers as we finally break the kiss. He sits back on his heels and takes my feet out of the water and dries them. He tugs me to my feet and we trade places.

I dry his feet and we stand together. I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull him towards me until our lips meet. Eli bends down far enough to hook his arms under my knees and lifts me into his arms again. He carries me to our bedroom and sets me down so that I stand with my calves against the bed. "Hana," his voice is soft, a whisper meant only for me, "just like always, you set the pace."

I smile back at him, my eyes blinking with unshed tears. I don't know what I did to deserve this, to deserve him. I know exactly what I want to do. It's what I've longed to do ever since the day we got caught in the rain- the first time, the only time- I've ever seen him without his shirt on. My trembling fingers find the buttons of his good shirt and undo them one at a time. I pull it off of his shoulders and down his arms.

That feeling that I get so often in my stomach when he is near me grows as I look at him. Suddenly, it blooms out and radiates over my whole body, and it's okay, because he's mine. He's my husband. Jude is dead. No one can ever take him away from me.

I look as his bare chest and then lean in and plant a kiss on it. Eli slowly turns me around and undoes the back of my skirt. I hear it hit the floor with a soft swish. His fingers burn on my skin as he hooks them under the straps of the tank top and slowly pulls them down, and the feeling grows, threatening to consume me. Then he turns me around and our lips fit together again. He gently moves me back on the bed. Soon there is nothing, not even air, between us.

We breathe together. My heart beats match his. I lose myself in him, becoming a part of him. My mother once told me that when it was right, and when you waited, the two become one.

We are one.

If you are new to my writing, I have been instructed by Bahrfamily, beta reader and friend extraordinaire, to make sure that you know about the foot-washing ceremony. The first thing I wrote for Fanfiction was "Random Voices Insurgent," where I took an idea I got from Cieyl (Drabbles #48) and applied it to the foot-washing scene in Insurgent. If you want to see how it started, check out Cieyl's work (it's worth reading even if she seems to have stopped forever at #50) and/or the first chapter of Random Voices Insurgent.

Bahrfamily threated to quit as my beta if I didn't use it here. (Okay, she didn't really threaten me with that, she just told me it belonged here, too.) (And of course, she was right… as always… it does.)

Also, you got two chapters today. (The last one of Dauntless Gray and this one.) This weekend is a holiday in the US and Bahrfamily and I are both spending time with our families during it. It may be a little longer than normal before I update, but I will be updating and then I should get back to the regular updates you are used to.