The Way We Planned Them

The thing that people don't mention about satin sheets is that they make a highly obnoxious noise when they rustle about. After listening to it for more than a few minutes, it tends to grate on the ears. So when your roommate is tossing and turning at night in her cavern of unnecessary satin sheets, it can be a highly irritating experience.

She didn't bother turning on the light this time, although she did check the time before speaking up. It was well past midnight. Elphaba heaved a deep sigh and turned on her side, facing Galinda's side of the room. She adjusted her own plain comforter around her body and beat on her dark grey pillow.

"Galinda?" she called with a forced tone of patience. "Do you want to talk about something?"

Galinda often couldn't sleep. Too much anxiety over whatever she worried about, or too much caffeine late at night. By nature, Elphaba just didn't sleep often. Insomnia was a natural part of her life that she had become very accustomed to. Galinda was flighty in her fits of sleep, however. In and out, in and out, sometimes only for a few minutes at a time. She couldn't even hold still in her sleep, Elphaba mused privately.

Galinda turned on her side to face Elphaba's side of the room with a huff.

"Why are you up so late?" she complained.

"Why are you up so late?" Elphaba countered snarkily.

"I asked you first."

"I talked to you first."

"You're impossible," Galinda complained with a scoff. "I just can't sleep is all. I had a horrendible dream."

"Oh."

There was an uncomfortable silence that stretched between them. By now, their eyes had both adjusted to the dark and they could see the outline of each other from across the room. Elphaba clicked her tongue once, exasperated at the awkward silence.

"Did you…want to talk about it?" she asked plainly although she didn't hold much interest in what Galinda was dreaming about.

Galinda sat up in bed and rested her back against her headboard, placing her hands delicately in her lap. Elphaba thanked Oz that she didn't bother turning on the lamp, she wasn't keen on the idea of being blinded by a sudden light shift.

"Well…" Galinda started dramatically. "I had a vivid dream about my mother and father and I and we were all on vacation at Lake Chorge together. Have you ever been?"

"No."

"Well it's marvelous, we go there every summer if we can. Except for one summer when we visited extended family in Pertha Hills instead—but none of that matters. In my dream, we were vacationing in the sunny Lake Chorge and I could see the shimmering, glittering waters lapping against the pebbled shore line-"

"How have you been liking that creative writing course of yours, Galinda?" Elphaba asked dryly, with a hidden smirk evident in her voice.

"It's perfectly fine, why do you ask?"

"No reason, Galinda. Go on. The glittering, dazzling, sunshine stained shore?" Elphaba teased, turning on her back and staring at the ceiling as she half listened. Galinda was very overzealous with her adjectives sometimes. Galinda was just overzealous in general.

"Okay. But suddenly there was a sailboat out on the water, and people hardly ever boat on the water, it was very peculiar. I was waving to them, but there was a horrendible lightning bolt that struck the sail! There wasn't a cloud in the sky except for this lightning bolt, not a cloud! And it set the sail ablaze and there was smoke and the sky turned red, Elphie, red. Blood red. I had never seen anything like it! I heard a loud noise, something akin to a siren, and I woke up feeling very ill at ease. Oh Elphie, you're smart, what do you think this could possibly mean?"

"Galinda, people who assume that all dreams mean something are the same people who believe in tarot cards."

"You don't believe in tarot cards?"

"Oz, no. They're all completely fake."

"But Elphie—you are a sorceress."

Elphaba rolled her eyes and sighed heavily at the word. Sorceress. It sounded too fancy for what she called herself. She was no sorceress.

"That's different. Tarot cards are fake, take my word for it. Regardless, your dream probably doesn't mean anything. You shouldn't fret about it. But if the sky suddenly turns blood red, I might watch your back."

Elphaba took Galinda's silence as a sign that she had taken her dry comment seriously.

"Kidding, of course, Galinda. I'm kidding."

"What are your dreams like?" Galinda asked suddenly, turning on her side and looking over at her roommate expectantly.

"What?" Elphaba scoffed, staring at the ceiling.

"What are your dreams like?" Galinda asked again, this time emphasizing each word as if Elphaba hadn't understood the first time. "Are they scary like mine? Are they vivid? Confusing? Romantic...or romantic?" Galinda said suggestively.

Elphaba scoffed loudly at the implication. Never in a million years.

"I don't dream much," she answered flatly. Galinda listened, waiting for her to go on, but she didn't.

"And?" she prodded.

"And nothing. I don't dream that often. If anything it's vague and hazy…very hazy. And I'll wake up and forget it in an instant. My dreams are about as dull as my personality," Elphaba said plainly.

Galinda groaned dramatically and flopped back on her bed. "You never let me have any fun. Every time I try to have slumber party talk with you…"

"It's not a slumber party if we live together."

"Anything after midnight is slumber party talk, Elphie! I don't make the rules!"

"I don't make the rules," Elphaba mimicked mockingly under her breath.

"Okay, well since you don't have dreams, tell me about your dreams. And don't say that you don't have them, Elphaba Thropp. We both know that's not true."

"My dreams?" Elphaba scoffed. Ridiculous. What a ridiculous notion.

"You know, dreams! Aspirations, hopes, what you're working for! What keeps you going! Your desires!"

"I don't think I like slumber party talk-"

"Elphie!"

"It's not like…Oz I don't know. What am I supposed to say? I can't just spout out my hopes and dreams to someone because then…"

"Because then what?" Galinda prodded, simply satisfied she had gotten more than a grunt from her roommate. She may have her slumber party talk after all.

Elphaba sighed in defeat and turned on her side, looking at Galinda through the darkness patiently.

"So many people say their aspirations and they don't mean it. Things like…I want to rule Oz someday, I want to become the wealthiest woman in the land, I want to find buried treasure and use it to open my own hair salon—any outlandish thing that you can day dream for yourself. So many people say these things so lightly and they don't care, but that's only because they aren't serious. They think, sure it would be nice to become famous or wealthy or have forty lovers at one time, but never do they think it might happen. Deep down, people who so easily discuss their aspirations know they'll end up living a mediocre life or settle down and get married or do anything else. And that they'll ultimately be okay with that. Because dreams are pretty if you aren't hell bent on them. They're fun to discuss if you're not serious. If you are serious, and you discuss your aspirations with someone, everyone now knows that about you. It raises your stakes. If you keep such serious aspirations private and you don't attain them, only you know of your failure. If you share it with the world…you're setting yourself up for pity. Now, that many more people knew that you wanted something. Knew that you wanted something so much that it hurt. Knew that you were serious about something for once and that you're not okay now that it didn't come true. That's the thing, I am serious about my goals. Everything I've ever wanted. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything, and I can't picture how my life will turn out if it doesn't work out. If you picture something in your head enough times, and you fantasize and you shape your life around it too much, you start convincing yourself you'll never be happy if it doesn't happen for you. So…so…" she shook her head, turning on her back again and staring at the ceiling.

"My dreams stay private. At least…the depth of my conviction stays private. It has to."

Galinda was silent for a long time, soaking in every word. She had gotten something out of her roommate, not the gossip she had been hoping for, but for a moment she had caught a glimpse of Elphaba's heart. She wondered if Elphaba was aware she had accidentally left her heart on her sleeve during that soliloquy. Usually she kept it concealed so thoroughly.

"Well…"Galinda finally spoke, cutting the awkwardness of the air with the casualness of her tone. "I see what you mean, dear Elphie, and I won't push you any further on the subject. But…"

"There's always a but," Elphaba muttered, somewhat embarrassed now about how much she had spoken.

"But don't discount frivolous aspirations! The kind you were looking down on! Elphie, you're a darling, but sometimes you need to get down off of your high horse and let yourself relax. Talk about stuff you want, even if it never comes true! Talk about getting famous and rich or being a princess, things that you're sure might never come true!"

"What's the point if you don't intend on it ever happening?" Elphaba reasoned.

"Because. It's fun. It's like…make believe. And since you won't tell me your secret locked away private dream and the depth of it, we're going to make up new ones. We're going to make some plans, some outlandish and impossible and fun plans. I'll go first."

"I'm not good at make believe…"

"Hush I'm talking here! Okay, I have a dream that I will live in a gorgeous high rise apartment in the Emerald City with a giant sky light in the ceiling with a diamond chandelier. It would have a perfect view of the Emerald Palace and a gigantic white grand piano."

"I didn't know you played piano."

"I don't. And I would lounge in a gorgeous velvet chaise while a lover of mine fed me seedless grapes all day. And I would be wearing a gorgeous silk gown with real emeralds and diamonds on it."

"That would be very uncomfortable to wear."

"Your turn."

Elphaba was quiet for a long moment, trying to think of something. Something silly that she would find enjoyment out of. "I don't know what to say…" Elphaba sighed in defeat.

"Elphie! Try. Anything in the world."

"Okay…" Elphaba thought for a long moment, even closing her eyes. She felt stupid. "A library," she finally said. "A…three story…personal library. With a big…spiral staircase."

"Yes!" Galinda rejoiced, thrilled at the idea. "What else? Go on. What else?"

Elphaba, to her surprise, let out a small laugh. "Alright…there would be tall windows that let in a lot of natural light during the day, but you can also see the stars out of at night. And then…" she laughed at the ridiculousness of her daydreams, shrugging to herself. "A secret room? Yes, you pull a secret book out of one of the cases and the bookcase…spins around. And it reveals a secret room where you can read in private…yes."

Galinda clapped her hands together and nodded. "I dream that I'll have tickets to the greatest shows in the Emerald City each night and my own carriage to take me to and from places."

"I dream to live in the Emerald City. Period."

"No, bigger Elphie! You have to think big. Stop being so Ozdamn rational all of the time. Learn to be silly."

"Okay! I want to live in an apartment too…a huge one with the library I described…" she decided, trying to hide the smile in her voice.

"Ooh! Right next to mine! We'll be neighbors!" Galinda chimed in.

"Yes! Yes…we'll be next door neighbors. And we'll visit each other all the time. And I'll have a great job, one that I love, one that's really important and glamorous."

"I'll be married by then, I'll have a really really hot husband," Galinda promised. Elphaba laughed and the absurdity of what she had just said. "And you can bet I'll have a fairytale wedding. You can be my maid of honor, Elphie! Don't worry, I won't make you wear a horrendible color. But only if I can be your maid of honor at your wedding!"

"Oh I'll never get married," Elphaba said immediately, shaking her head.

"This is fantasy land, Elphie. Even in your wildest, wildest dreams, can you not see yourself with anyone?"

Elphaba hesitated for a long moment. For a brief moment, she could catch a glimpse. It was more like a breath, a whisper, more than it was a fully formed idea. It was the delicate brush of familiar fingertips along her green palm. It was the warmth of a secure embrace, the whisper of a sincere promise. But in an instant, the fragments were gone. She was left with nothing but a warm feeling in her stomach that she couldn't describe, and the feeling that she had just woken up from one of her fleeting, hazy dreams. No, not even in her wildest dreamings could she picture it. Not even then.

"It's not in the cards," Elphaba brushed it off, shrugging casually.

"Hey! You said those were fake."

Elphaba smiled over at Galinda and rolled her eyes affectionately. "You need to get your beauty rest, Miss Upland. Or else it's all I'm going to hear about tomorrow."

"I suppose you're right," Galinda sighed dramatically, slipping back under her slippery satin sheets. "Goodnight, Elphie."

"Goodnight, Galinda."

There was another silence, and Elphaba found herself slowly drifting off. She was half asleep when Galinda whispered through the darkness.

"Elphie…tell me one more dream you have."

Elphaba, already under the heavy effects of sleep, mumbled out something she wouldn't remember in the morning or years to come.

"I want to fly…"

Galinda closed her eyes and felt herself falling asleep close behind her roommate.

"Crazier things have happened."