Lucy had expected many things as she walked into Fairy Tail that day. Truly, she expected the most unexpected things to happen every day that she stepped through the doors to the guild. It was part of the reason that she chose the life that she did. Every second of life in the guild was an adventure. Even so, the news that she had heard from the guild's resident gossip that morning was something that she wouldn't have expected in a million years.

The day had started simply enough. Lucy had sauntered into the bar area, feeling refreshed for once that a certain pink haired fire breather hadn't broke into her house in the middle of the night and hogged her bed space. And a good start to the day called for a special treat to really kick the morning into gear.

"Good morning Mira. Can I have a strawberry milkshake?" Lucy looked at the woman behind the bar, slightly scared because she noticed the glint in her eyes.

A glint in Mira's eyes, Lucy quickly figured out, meant three things. One, trouble. Two, potential matchmaking opportunities. Or three, gossip material. The last two usually led back to the first anyways, so Lucy's optimism for this day was quickly washed down the drain.

"Oh Lucy, it's so good to see you" Mira beamed. "And I just have the greatest bit of news for you!" 'Well, gossip is probably the least troublesome thing she could have this early in the morning' Lucy thought to herself. Oh how wrong that thought would prove to be. "Guess what news I just heard about your favourite dragon slayer?"

"Oh crap, what did Erik do now" Lucy sighed out. Yes, hope for this day was alrealy being washed down river and right into the ocean, never to be found again.

"What?" Mira asked with a wide eyed expression.

"Crap, did I just say that out loud? Um, I mean, what were you saying?" 'Scratch that, hope for the century had just been blasted into outer space toward the fucking sun' Lucy thought as she nervously scratched her cheek, hoping Mira didn't catch what she had said.

Mira gave her a suspicious glance before shrugged off the blonde's comments for the moment. "Anyway, a reliable source told me that our little Natsu asked a girl out on a date."

"No way! Really?!" Lucy had forgotten all about her little mishap mere moments before and was now completely engrossed in the subject at hand. "Who is it?"

Mirajane had an evil smile playing on her lips. "Well, I will say that it's a certain Celestial mage that we all know and love."

"But, isn't that me?" Lucy asked, stunned by the barmaid's description.

"Now, you're not the only Celestial mage we know. I obviously talking about Yukino, silly" Mira teased. She had been doing that a lot more lately to her, Lucy realized. In fact, she had been seeing a lot more of the she devil side of her lately that she had only heard rumours of when the group was younger.

"Yukino, huh? Well now that I think about it, they actually make a really cute couple. Still, I'm surprised that Natsu actually worked up the nerve to ask anyone out."

Mira shrugged at the blonde's reasoning and rested her elbows on the counter, head in her hands. "I guess he isn't quite as dense as we all thought. Personally though, I was betting on the fact that he was gay. So that means I owe Cana five thousand jewels when she finally gets wind of this."

"Why would you think he's gay?" Lucy asked, her mind now spinning down the road of a new topic. Mira shrugged again.

"The constant fights with all the guys and the obliviousness to the girls in the guild. It just seemed to add up. I just figured that he was scared that the guild would think differently of him."

"But that doesn't make any sense either" Lucy argued back. "No one treats Freed any differently and isn't he gay?"

At this statement, Mira broke into a fit of laughter (which was definitely starting to draw attention toward the two from the rest of the guild members who were actually able to crawl out of bed this early in the morning). Mira, once she had finally calmed down, spoke through a fit of wheezes. "Judging by what we did last weekend, I seriously doubt it."

"Eww, gross" Lucy spat in disgust. "That is definitely a mental image I didn't need." Mira laughed at Lucy's embarrassment and waved the subject off.

"Anyway, that's enough about me. So how are you and Cobra then?"

"What!?" Lucy shrieked.

"Don't think I didn't notice your little slip up earlier missy. So when am I gonna see little blonde haired, one eyed babies running around the guild?"

"There's one more mental image I didn't need" Lucy groaned as she slammed her head on the table.

"But you didn't deny it either."

"You know you still haven't got me that strawberry milkshake yet."

"Don't try to change the subject on me. You're not getting out of this one that easily" Mira reprimanded her.

"Damnit. Lisanna!" Lucy shouted, frantically waving the other white haired girl over.

...

Needless to say Lucy's day really didn't go that well. Lisanna was absolutely no help to her cause whatsoever. In fact, she had really only made the whole situation worse. Their squealing had gotten Gray and Elfman worked up, which had in turn led to a shoving match that resulted in Gray falling on top of Levy. This got Gajeel, Jet, and Droy going after Gray, spilling blood and a few beers across the hall, so Cana jumped in to 'defend the honour of her booze.'

By the time Natsu had finally crawled out of (probably Yukino's, Lucy would assume, given his messy state and the information she had learned that morning) bed and made his way to the guild hall, it was completely trashed and everyone was knocked out besides Lucy, Wendy, Pantherlily, and Juvia. So the hungry dragon slayer had marched over to her house and ate all of her food.

"What a messed up day. Ugh, at least I have someone to vent to about all of this" Lucy said into the speaker of her phone.

"Sounds like fun" the voice responded.

"Yeah, fun for you to watch probably" Lucy responded in an irritated voice.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm always down for cheap entertainment!"

"That sounded like a backhanded insult Erik. Do I need to come find you?" Lucy threatened.

Cobra scoffed on the other end of the line. "You know that's not what I meant by that. But seriously, that sounds like an entertaining brawl. And it's good to hear that Salamander has a girlfriend now so I don't have to worry about him hitting on you."

Now it was Lucy's turn to scoff. "Come on, you know the two of us are just friends. No need to get all jealous over there Cobra" she cutely teased the man.

"Yeah yeah, I know. Did you happen to hear who he was dating by any chance?"

"So now you're into the gossip scene, huh?"

"Not really. Just curious who would be dumb enough to put up with his stupid ass."

"Hey, be nice! And to answer your question, I heard he's with Yukino Aguria, the Celestial Wizard from Sabertooth" Lucy informed him.

"Oh, so he decided to go for a different Celestial Wizard since he couldn't get you?" Cobra asked in a harsh tone.

"Stop being mean about it!" Lucy cried. There was a silence over the line for a second before Cobra spoke again.

"Wait, did you say Aguria?"

Lucy, in turn, took a moment to respond. "Yeah, why?"

"Because Angel's last name is Aguria and she had a little sister named Yukino. Given the fact they're both Celestial Wizards, I can't see that being just a mere coincidence."

"You think?" Lucy asked, shocked.

"Definitely" Cobra responded. "Luce, I'm gonna let you go. I think I'm gonna stir the pot on this situation we have here."

"Alright" Lucy sighed, as she really didn't want to hang up. "Good night Cobra."

"Good night my love" he responded before he hung up the phone. 'Alright' he thought as he made his way down the hallway of their makeshift base toward the dining hall. 'Time to stir the pot.'

In all fairness, he did still owe Natsu a beating after his embarassment eight years ago.

...

A/N: I feel bad that this is the shit I'm writing when I haven't updated anything in six months. Especially when half of my updates and most of my new story ideas have been sitting in doc form 3/4 of the way done.. Either way, if you enjoyed it drop a review, follow, or fave.