Title: Watching You
Author: Kate Anderson
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. As much as I wish they were, they belong to Edward Allen Bernero, John Wells and some other fine folks. I'm just borrowing them for a while!
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: character death
Spoilers: Up through current season four, but Bosco isn't working anti-crime in this world!
Summary: What happens after we die?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. We wake up one morning, never expecting it to happen. But it does. One false step, one wrong move and bang, it's over.
What happens when you die? I'd asked myself that question countless times, pondered it during long stretches of silence on my watch. As a police officer, I had stared Death in the face numerous times and then walked away from Him, unscathed.
I discovered the answer to my question two long months ago. My name is Faith Yokas, and I was shot and killed in the line of duty.
_____________
At first I was frightened. I watched as the shooter ran down the street, closely followed by my partner. Bosco was yelling, cursing loudly. Then Sully and Davis showed up, alerted by Bosco's frantic shouts over the radio.
I remember hearing Davis calling for a bus, kneeling down beside my body. Feeling desperately for a pulse. Sully stood behind him, trying to mask his instense grief. He knew the pain of losing a partner. I tried to call out to them, let them know that this was all a big mistake. I'm okay, I'm right here. They couldn't hear me.
Bosco caught the guy, gave him a beating that he'll never forget. I stood and watched as Bosco pummelled him with his fists, kicked him in the groin and called him every name in the book.
After a few minutes, Sully pulled Bosco off the guy. Cuffed him and threw him in the back of a squad. Bosco watched this impassively, his chest heaving. He never once looked towards my body, laying on the cold cement. Still bleeding.
An ambulance showed up, it was Kim and Alex. They saw my body and trying to control their emotions, they doggedly worked over it. Pumping my chest, pushing drugs. Shocking me. Nothing worked. I tried to tell them to stop it, I was already dead, but they didn't listen. They loaded me onto a stretcher and brought me to the hospital.
The doctor pronounced me. Said I had died a long time ago, shouldn't have even tried to save me. Kim had yelled, called him a bastard. Didn't he know that I was her friend? Alex blinked back tears, clutched onto Davis' arm. He ran his hands over her hair, tried to comfort her.
Bosco sat down in a chair, with Sully at his side. He hadn't said more than three words since he gave my killer a beating. Sully touched Bosco's arm, told him that I was gone. Bosco nodded, his eyes remained straight forward, staring at the wall.
It was Kim that called Fred. He pulled my children out of bed and rushed to the hospital. I watched as he looked at my pale body, cold and unmoving. His face contorted as he tried to control his emotions. Charlie sat down beside Bosco, looked up at him with a tear stained face. Why didn't you save her? He asked. You could have saved her!
Bosco looked at my son and stood up. He walked quickly to the washroom. I didn't follow him, I had to find my daughter.
Emily was with Kim, talking to her with all her adult experience. Kim explained how they had tried to save me, Emily nodded as though she understood. I tried to reach out, touch my daughter's shoulder. I'm still here Em. I haven't gone anywhere.
That was two months ago. They buried my body, the funeral was nice. I can't even begin to explain how bizarre it is to witness your own funeral.
Bosco received disciplinary action for beating that guy. He almost killed him. Two weeks off work, no pay. When he returned to the job, he was at a desk for another two weeks. They partnered him up with a rookie at first. The new guy didn't last more than two days, Bosco broke him.
Bosco got another partner, this one a seasoned veteran. Help keep him in line Swersky figured. Help him through this difficult period in his life. I watched as Bosco took unnecessary risks, gambled with his life.
Today I watched as Bosco chased a gang member down a fire escape and across a busy road. He caused a traffic pile-up, but somehow managed to escape serious injury himself. His partner, Officer Chandler, chastised him. Told him he was a real son of a bitch for doing that.
Bosco nodded his head. Told Chandler where he could shove it. He did it for me. For me and for all the other innocent victims.
______________
"Uncle B?"
Bosco looked down at Charlie's sombre face. "Yeah kiddo?"
"I need you to come to school with me tomorrow."
Bosco's face was the very picture of confusion. "For what?"
"Show and tell." Charlie replied.
"Show and tell?" Bosco repeated. "Aren't you a little old for show and tell?"
"It's for a project, we need to bring in something that represents what we want to be when we grow up."
"And you want to be what? A burned out, jaded cop?" Bosco said, a note of disgust in his voice.
Charlie shook his head. "No, I want to help people. And kill people, like the person that hurt my Mom."
Charlie refused to ever say that I was dead. I had always been hurt, never killed. "Wouldn't you rather be a lawyer?" Bosco asked. His voiced sounded weary.
Charlie again shook his head. "No, I want to be a cop, like you. And like Mom. So, will you come?"
Bosco sighed, realizing this was a losing argument. "I suppose. What time?"
"At ten." Charlie replied. "And wear your uniform."
"Alright kiddo, but only for you." Bosco ruffled my son's hair and looked at him sadly. "I gotta go now, 'kay?"
"Your dinner break is over?"
Bosco nodded. "Gotta get back out there."
"Is that guy that you arrested gonna go to jail?" Bosco had told Charlie about the banger he'd chased out into the street.
"I hope so." Bosco said and then turned and left the apartment. I knew Bosco felt guilty for letting me die. That's why he constantly visited Charlie. Emily refused to see him, she stayed in her room whenever he came by. Fred didn't care one way or the other. He had withdrawn from everything since my death.
I followed Bosco out onto the street. Watched as he got back into the waiting squad car and rushed off to risk his life again.
Author: Kate Anderson
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. As much as I wish they were, they belong to Edward Allen Bernero, John Wells and some other fine folks. I'm just borrowing them for a while!
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings: character death
Spoilers: Up through current season four, but Bosco isn't working anti-crime in this world!
Summary: What happens after we die?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. We wake up one morning, never expecting it to happen. But it does. One false step, one wrong move and bang, it's over.
What happens when you die? I'd asked myself that question countless times, pondered it during long stretches of silence on my watch. As a police officer, I had stared Death in the face numerous times and then walked away from Him, unscathed.
I discovered the answer to my question two long months ago. My name is Faith Yokas, and I was shot and killed in the line of duty.
_____________
At first I was frightened. I watched as the shooter ran down the street, closely followed by my partner. Bosco was yelling, cursing loudly. Then Sully and Davis showed up, alerted by Bosco's frantic shouts over the radio.
I remember hearing Davis calling for a bus, kneeling down beside my body. Feeling desperately for a pulse. Sully stood behind him, trying to mask his instense grief. He knew the pain of losing a partner. I tried to call out to them, let them know that this was all a big mistake. I'm okay, I'm right here. They couldn't hear me.
Bosco caught the guy, gave him a beating that he'll never forget. I stood and watched as Bosco pummelled him with his fists, kicked him in the groin and called him every name in the book.
After a few minutes, Sully pulled Bosco off the guy. Cuffed him and threw him in the back of a squad. Bosco watched this impassively, his chest heaving. He never once looked towards my body, laying on the cold cement. Still bleeding.
An ambulance showed up, it was Kim and Alex. They saw my body and trying to control their emotions, they doggedly worked over it. Pumping my chest, pushing drugs. Shocking me. Nothing worked. I tried to tell them to stop it, I was already dead, but they didn't listen. They loaded me onto a stretcher and brought me to the hospital.
The doctor pronounced me. Said I had died a long time ago, shouldn't have even tried to save me. Kim had yelled, called him a bastard. Didn't he know that I was her friend? Alex blinked back tears, clutched onto Davis' arm. He ran his hands over her hair, tried to comfort her.
Bosco sat down in a chair, with Sully at his side. He hadn't said more than three words since he gave my killer a beating. Sully touched Bosco's arm, told him that I was gone. Bosco nodded, his eyes remained straight forward, staring at the wall.
It was Kim that called Fred. He pulled my children out of bed and rushed to the hospital. I watched as he looked at my pale body, cold and unmoving. His face contorted as he tried to control his emotions. Charlie sat down beside Bosco, looked up at him with a tear stained face. Why didn't you save her? He asked. You could have saved her!
Bosco looked at my son and stood up. He walked quickly to the washroom. I didn't follow him, I had to find my daughter.
Emily was with Kim, talking to her with all her adult experience. Kim explained how they had tried to save me, Emily nodded as though she understood. I tried to reach out, touch my daughter's shoulder. I'm still here Em. I haven't gone anywhere.
That was two months ago. They buried my body, the funeral was nice. I can't even begin to explain how bizarre it is to witness your own funeral.
Bosco received disciplinary action for beating that guy. He almost killed him. Two weeks off work, no pay. When he returned to the job, he was at a desk for another two weeks. They partnered him up with a rookie at first. The new guy didn't last more than two days, Bosco broke him.
Bosco got another partner, this one a seasoned veteran. Help keep him in line Swersky figured. Help him through this difficult period in his life. I watched as Bosco took unnecessary risks, gambled with his life.
Today I watched as Bosco chased a gang member down a fire escape and across a busy road. He caused a traffic pile-up, but somehow managed to escape serious injury himself. His partner, Officer Chandler, chastised him. Told him he was a real son of a bitch for doing that.
Bosco nodded his head. Told Chandler where he could shove it. He did it for me. For me and for all the other innocent victims.
______________
"Uncle B?"
Bosco looked down at Charlie's sombre face. "Yeah kiddo?"
"I need you to come to school with me tomorrow."
Bosco's face was the very picture of confusion. "For what?"
"Show and tell." Charlie replied.
"Show and tell?" Bosco repeated. "Aren't you a little old for show and tell?"
"It's for a project, we need to bring in something that represents what we want to be when we grow up."
"And you want to be what? A burned out, jaded cop?" Bosco said, a note of disgust in his voice.
Charlie shook his head. "No, I want to help people. And kill people, like the person that hurt my Mom."
Charlie refused to ever say that I was dead. I had always been hurt, never killed. "Wouldn't you rather be a lawyer?" Bosco asked. His voiced sounded weary.
Charlie again shook his head. "No, I want to be a cop, like you. And like Mom. So, will you come?"
Bosco sighed, realizing this was a losing argument. "I suppose. What time?"
"At ten." Charlie replied. "And wear your uniform."
"Alright kiddo, but only for you." Bosco ruffled my son's hair and looked at him sadly. "I gotta go now, 'kay?"
"Your dinner break is over?"
Bosco nodded. "Gotta get back out there."
"Is that guy that you arrested gonna go to jail?" Bosco had told Charlie about the banger he'd chased out into the street.
"I hope so." Bosco said and then turned and left the apartment. I knew Bosco felt guilty for letting me die. That's why he constantly visited Charlie. Emily refused to see him, she stayed in her room whenever he came by. Fred didn't care one way or the other. He had withdrawn from everything since my death.
I followed Bosco out onto the street. Watched as he got back into the waiting squad car and rushed off to risk his life again.