This is my Jeremiah/fem!Lelouch fanfiction, lol starting two new ones at once wow, be afraid people, be afraid…

P.S. I have done some editing and found some errors that I needed to fix, also if anyone sees this that would care to be a beta for this story or know of any that would be a good fit, please send me a PM! I would love to hear from you. :)

A Reason to Live

There was many things that ran through Jeremiah Gottwald's mind as he he stared down the Zero alter-ego Lelouch Lamperouge, he never imagined that the one who rose up against the empire was a mere high school student, or that he was actually a she. Jeremiah never would have guessed that under the helmet of Zero there would be long dark hair that reminded him of someone else, from long ago, back when he was a guard at the Aries Villa.

When Lelouch finally stopped her chase and turned to face Jeremiah with such confidence and cockiness that he knew right then and there, that he had walked right into a trap laid by the ever so cunning Black Knight. It didn't matter though, not at that moment. Jeremiah was so confident that he had been improved and no matter what was thrown at him, he could take it, he could endure it. Because that was the strength of his loyalty, and that gave him the power to achieve anything.

"I see, a mechanical body… and you have a Geass canceler as well. Your vengefulness is truly admirable, Orange Boy." Lelouch said, her voice was lilt and mocking. It had shocked him almost, he knew that when he saw that Zero was a woman that the voice that everyone heard was obviously through a voice distorter, but for some reason it still threw him off-guard.

"There is nothing vengeful about it, just sheer loyalty." The faithful Britannian countered, Something that you would know nothing about, Zero.

"Such a shame, though… what has the Emperor ever done that could possibly deserve such loyalty I wonder!" Lelouch spat, while finally triggering her secret weapon; testing it on the now cyborg ex-officer. The effects was far greater than what she had hoped, it would be most excellent for the next attack upon Britannia. It had stopped Jeremiah dead in his tracks and she was more than pleased. "By the looks of it, I was correct in assuming that you had sakuradite present in your body, you were an excellent guinea pig for the Gefjun Disturbers. It's good to know that they will be quite efficient for my next plans…. now then, you're going to tell me what I want to know. Where the Order is located and where V.V is!" She demanded, her patience was wearing thin.

Jeremiah's face turned ugly with the disgrace of being both looked down upon and beaten again by a lowly civilian, Britannian or no. How dare she demand answers from him, when there was far more important things that he ought to be asking her!

"You're the one… who will talk here!" He retorted, as he began to push his lead like body beyond its capacity with absolute drive to kill zero; to reclaim his honor. He could see the shocked look on her face, and it only made him want to push further. "Because I have… my reasons, I'm resolved to see my loyalty through!" One step after another, he was closing the gap between them. He didn't feel the blood that was oozing out of his Geass canceler, nor did he care. All he could see was Lelouch and he knew that soon it would be all over and he would finally win their battle.

But he needed to know, before her death he need to know what drove her? What was her motive of doing all of this!? "I must know the truth for certain, once and for all!" Why Zero, What was the purpose for all of this death? "Why did you take on the role of Zero, and why have you betrayed your homeland?! Turning upon the Emperor as a result, why Lelouch?"

"Why? I did it because I am Lelouch Vi Britannia! The daughter of the Empress that was slaughtered, my father did nothing to protect her, and I will take my revenge upon those responsible!" Her anger became unleashed and she fought to retreat into her mind of insanity of remembering seeing the horrid death spread upon the carpeted stairs, of seeing her mother's corpse. "And because of that, that man stole Nunnally's legs and her sight along with our futures, I will never forgive him!"

Jeremiah stopped, he couldn't believe it... it was her! Princess Lelouch Vi Britannia, the one he had watched over along with her sister and her mother. She was alive! "Yes, I remember, I was there!"

"What?!"

"I remember it all, it was my first assignment to guard her. And I remember along with the shame of my failure to protect Lady Marianne, whom I loved and respected... but I wasn't able to follow through with that loyalty, I just wasn't able to protect her!" The pain of it all brought Jeremiah to his knees, as agony both physical and mental swept over him.

"So you founded the Purebloods then." She said, more of statement than a question. If he was there during the time she stayed at the Aries Villa, why couldn't she remember him?

"My Lady Lelouch, everything is becoming clear now. You became Zero for the sake of Lady Marianne, didn't you!" His Princess truly was fighting for justice, not a day went by that he didn't regret what happened that day how he wished he could change it. Seeing the woman he had cared for covered in blood, and his two young charges shaking with shock and fear. His Princesses were alive though, and so he could die happy knowing that she was avenging her majesty's death.

"But if you didn't come here to kill me, then what is it you came here to do?" Lelouch asked, seeing the man so devoted to his mother and her made her tremble with grief and true admiration, but never pity. She won't pity the man who chose his path in earnest, he had regrets yes, but she knew that the choices he made were always absolute. And that is what she needed right now. His absolution.

"I don't follow V.V., I only follow one, and that's Lady Marianne... and now, I'll die without regrets." Jeremiah's face now dripped with both tears and blood as he reached out for his Princess, she was alive and beautiful and she would avenge Marianne for both of them, he could not have asked for a more perfect sight to be his last.

"Lord Jeremiah!" She called out his name while shutting off her attack to rush to his side. Once the effects were no longer interfering with his Geass canceler the bleeding stopped and the bionic part of his body became operational again.

"My Princess!" She had spared him, spite his offenses against her and even after he had come here to kill her originally, she forgave him.

"There is still need for steadfast loyalty like yours isn't there, Lord Jeremiah?" She said, giving him such honor that she would have need of him. She would be his new purpose, his new reason to live.

"Yes, your Highness!"

-10 years ago-

Lelouch sat with a book on her lap and her heart on her wrist, the gardens was her favorite place and more often than not that's where she was, even when her brother Schneizel would be looking for her, this was the first place he would check. Her brother had been fond of her and always treated her specially it seemed like, ever since she could remember, and she used to revel in it. Always feeling like she was the closest to him, and perhaps she was... but as the years came and gone it felt that something in her was changing, she was yearning for something more, or maybe something different altogether, perhaps her big brother simply wasn't enough.

A man in regal attire interrupted her thoughts, his cerulean hair was tied back neatly, giving him almost a boyish appearance, spite his high cheekbones and handsome angles.

"Princess Lelouch, Lady Marianne requests your presence, you've been absent since this morning," said the young guard.

"Jeremy!" Lelouch said excitedly as she dropped her book and ran to him as he bent down to receive his much loved embrace. Although no one really called him 'Jeremy' and it wasn't especially clever, it was only a nickname given to him by her simply because at the time of their first meeting his full name had become too cumbersome for her young age. And so he had been dubbed 'Sir Jeremy', in her own mind of course. She had no real power to really make Knights at such a young age, regardless of being a Princess in her own right.

"Good afternoon, Princess Lelouch. I see you are attempting to escape the tutors again," Jeremiah accused with laughter in his voice. "You know, they will only be more persistent the more you hide away, although this could hardly be called 'hiding away' when you're here in the gardens, in plain view." He said, his hand gesturing to the scenery.

"That's because they wouldn't risk upsetting royalty... so no matter where I am, if I choose to 'hide' I could go anywhere." Lelouch said looking away from Jeremiah's disapproving look, "they would just look the other way if I told them to..."

"But that is not how a Princess should be, Lady Lelouch, it is not honorable to neglect the duties and responsibilities given to you." Jeremiah scolded gently, he knew the Princess didn't really feel like she belonged with her other siblings besides her cherished Nunnally, but she was more than just bright; Lelouch showed traits of a true leader and master strategist.

Jeremiah secretly wanted to see that it would be the Princess to inherit the throne, she would be a fine Empress one day.

"Jeremiah... I don't know what I want, I don't desire power, but I don't want some mundane life... no matter what I want though, the choice will be made for me and that will be that." She looked down at her ballet slippers, "how can it be that we royalty have so much but have so little?" Lelouch's eyes became like glass, and her fits bunched up her delicate, blue dress.

"What are you talking about my Princess?" Jeremiah asked, the sudden subject change was almost abrupt, was that why she was out here, alone with her thoughts with no one to understand? Jeremiah gingerly places his hands on her shoulders, trying to sooth her fighting tears and her skin trembled under his gloved fingers.

"B-big brother told me today... that... that when I come of age, I am to be married and that I will become his wife." At last the tears fell. "H-he said it had already been approved by father." Her words became thick with emotion, "I love big brother, b-but to be married? I don't want that!" Lelouch cried more, trying to wipe them away with her wrists as she desperately tried to stay strong but it was already useless.

"Princess..." Jeremiah didn't know what to say to comfort her, he knew that it was not uncommon for royalty to marry within the family, to maintain the purity of the family bloodline... but to force this reality to her at such a young age was truly perverse and he felt disgust boil inside him.

"I... I want to become stronger. If I am stronger I can choose my own life, I can be like mother, I can be strong like her, can't I?" Lelouch look up to him and he felt his heartstrings pull for his Princess, and they were both on common ground when it came to the royal Consort, Lady Marianne. Had it been anyone else asking him that question he would think it impossible to have the power to change their fate, with the Emperor as their foe, but with Lelouch he knew that she would if that is what she desired.

"Yes. Lelouch you would lead armies and wage wars if you wished. That is the power that you have inside you, you only to realize it and bring it out." Jeremiah said, as he grasped her two small gloved hands with his own, his hands were warm against hers. "And if you permit me, Your Highness, when that day comes I will go before you in any and every battle that comes your way and I will lead your armies into the fray with pride and honor. That is my promise to you, my Princess." He vowed with a fierce conviction that it made Lelouch flinch.

Right now he knew she felt weak and powerless, at this point she would be ready, but with age Jeremiah knew she would be a brilliant leader and if she came into power she would lead any battle into victory. That was what it meant to be the daughter of Marianne, The Flash, it was in her blood. "You will never be alone, I swear it," He once more promised.

He could see his young Princess sitting upon the throne one day, changing the world for the better. She had that power, deep inside her.

To be Empress.

-present time-

"Yes Your Highness!" He said, with renewed purpose and faith.

"We have work to do now, and little time to do it. We can't be seen together in public as I am now, if they saw a military officer walking with a common civilian they will suspect my memories have returned. Right now I need them to believe I am still under the power of my father's Geass." Lelouch explained, bringing Jeremiah up to speed.

"Wait, your father as well, he has Geass too?!" He asked.

"Yes, he took everything away from me, again! He made me forget my revenge, my whole purpose, he even made me forget I ever had a sister and replaced her with a cheap imitation." She would dispose of him soon enough though.

"I understand, Princess... I will follow you henceforth, and follow your every order." He said with gladness, "I promised you that you would never be alone in your endeavors, yet once more I failed... even fought against you in order to foil your plans, please, ask for your forgiveness Princess Lelouch." He took one of Lelouch's hands that rested on his shoulder and cradled it in his hands just he did all those years ago, "I swore to you that I would lead your armies and I would fight in your name with pride and honor, do you remember Princess?" He asked, new tears fell once more, replacing the old sticky ones.

"Jeremy...?" Lelouch was stunned, this whole time Jeremiah was her Jeremiah. Her Jeremy that would be there when all others had left her alone, when she didn't seek the comfort of her little sister or her mother, Jeremiah would find her.

His eyes sparkled from the tears and happiness that she remembered him, how he guarded her and how she confided in him. It was one of his greatest honors among serving her royal family. "Yes your Highness it's me, your guard and servant: Jeremiah Gottwald." He spoke with his tongue being thick with emotion, so much so that his voice cracked under the weight of the moment.

"Jeremiah Gottwald," She confirmed. "Yes, my commanding officer in the Black Knights, and my most trusted ally. It is good to see you again, and there is nothing to forgive for your loyalty and devotion to me will be a more than adequate offering." Lelouch spoke with authority and although she had no sword or title to speak of to empower him, in the name of Zero and the Black Knights she did so. "And you will serve me, Zero, and wield the flag of justice!" She commanded.

"Yes your Highness!" His body surged with something new, his body both human and machine was humming with anticipation, excited to serve her under her alias: Zero. He will now begin to redeem himself through this one action, claiming the title of Zero's Commander.

They both stood up and reigned in their overflowing emotions, Jeremiah's face being a complete mess, Lelouch saw a handkerchief in his breast pocket and pulled it out. She took it to his tears first, softly wiping away the stains from his cheek and down his chin. Next she took it to the other side of his face that was drenched in blood from her doing, she wiped the blood that was now staining his skin and it had been since Euphie's massacre and her death that she felt guilt for what she had done.

"I'm sorry, had we had this conversation sooner, this would have never happened... does it still hurt?" She asked softly.

Jeremiah was touched by her kindness, and leaned into her hand. "No, the pain subsided shortly after my systems booted back up. Thank you, Princess." His voice was so tender that it made Lelouch want to do more things that would bring out that that side of the ex-officer.

"And one more thing, the 'Princess' title is restricted when it is inside the Black Knights headquarters or when we are in the presence of others please only address me by my name, only a few selected people know that I am part of the Britannian family. If the Black Knights knew that I was part of the very thing they sought to destroy, there would be a mutiny. When we are at the base you will address me as all the others do, as Zero." Lelouch warned.

"Of course," Jeremiah complied.

"And no one can know I am a woman either, only you and C.C. know this." She added, while she stepped away from cleaning his face. The well tailored handkerchief was now soiled with blood and tears and she felt awkward giving it back to him but yet didn't really want to keep it herself. And so she stared at it for few moments trying to decide its fate, when Jeremiah took it from her hand and placed it in his pant pocket.

"I understand, please leave everything to me." Jeremiah said and placed his hand over his heart.

It was strange that Lelouch would feel that she was finally able to breathe knowing that there was someone out there that believed in her completely and understood everything, everything she was trying to accomplish and why. It felt strange and yet she understood it completely that it would be a devoted Britannian soldier who would come to her side to aid her in bringing down her father. It felt so relieving having him by her side knowing that no matter what she did or how she did it, that he would support her.

She could never hope for such understanding from Suzaku, the friend who sold her out.

"What do we do now then, Lady Lelouch?" Jeremiah's question broke her of her inner musings, and brought her back to the moment.

"Right now. We will have to break up, I have to check on something but I want you to meet me at the Ashford academy in an hour." Lelouch ordered while taking out her phone, "So we'll need to exchange numbers." She said.

They both exchanged numbers and Jeremiah was more than happy to comply, and placed her under 'Lulu' and he felt that it was a safe listing to put her under, as it would neither risk either of her aliases. Lelouch saw him smile as he saved her in his mobile and she wondered if that perhaps he just didn't have very many people in his contact list, while Lelouch appropriate listed him as 'Orange'. She just couldn't resist, and besides, it sort of grew on her, but now in fondness.

"Alright I will contact you soon, there are a few things that we need to do before the next attack on the Britannian forces." She said as she put her mobile away.

"Very well, I will see you then." Jeremiah bowed and turn on his heel and began to walk hurriedly away.

It was then that as they parted ways, for the first time since Lelouch started all of this, she didn't feel alone. That save for C.C., (and perhaps deep down the witch just wasn't enough) there was finally someone who was truly her ally in everything and that she could depend on him. And that maybe she could forget a little that she was bound for hell.

Hello, well this is my revised (although really I just switched some words around and fixed some broken sentences) chapter one. Lol I was rereading it and I saw some errors I needed to fix, but I'm still looking for a beta to help me with this. I'm really putting a lot of thought into this story because of how much I love these two but I find some times I have issues with my punctuation and run-on sentences. So please if you would like to be apart of this story I would welcome you with open arms. :)

Please R&R and any constructive criticism is more than welcome! ^_^