This chapter took a good amount of time to write and finish. It is an alternate version of the "WHAT IF" chapter that I wrote earlier. I had two versions of this chapter, sand I needed to finish this second one. I do hope you enjoy it. Please note that I was in sort of a bad mood when I wrote some of the scenes between Dimitri and Bellamy, as well as Tasha and Bellamy. I am still pretty happy with it. Sorry if the timeline is a little off in places. My bad. As always, Happy Reading and enjoy. Next chapter will come soon…ish.

BELLAMY:

I'd been at this wretched lodge without Bridgette or any outside contact for nearly an entire day and a half now, and I was in a mood to dislike most everything and everyone around me. I was put back with the St. Vladimir's Guardians for a reason. I was not only to get more training, but I was instructed to watch. Already I had managed to find trouble, or it had found me. I had seen Mason shortly after my arrival and first failed attempt to unpack my things. I froze as he started walking over to me, interrupting the already awkward and judgmental conversation I was having with our mutual friend, Eddie Castille. I was aware of which direction Eddie would turn in a crisis if necessary. I knew where his loyalties resided, and they were not with me. I respected Eddie for that, but I still had to watch what I said to him. Apparently, I would have to watch not only the things I said, but also the things I did. The previous night was still a bit of a blur. It was telling of the things to come I think.

Dimitri and I were going to be teaching a class together. Well, sort of. Actually, he would be teaching, and I would be there to assist him, and to learn from his instructor greatness. While they did their parts to keep in shape, a few Dhampir jokingly complained of restlessness and not getting the chance to properly train their muscles and skills. Eventually a few of the Guardians, Dimitri included, tired of hearing the complaints. They would provide a short list of students with a well devised workout. Dimitri was heading the course, so with me as his shadow, I was tagging along. We were on our way to a large outdoor field area, currently blanketed in snow that would be a good area during daylight hours.

"I've never had to instruct anyone else." I expressed a wariness that seemed to amuse the Guardian at my side.

He gave a short hum and I knew that he was thinking something horrible.

"What?" I dared to ask.

Dimitri gave a chuckle. "I can honestly say that of all people, I never thought I would ever see you " his dark entertained eyes tilted down to me, "back down from a challenge."

"I'm not backing down." I defiantly returned. "I never said anything about backing down. I am simply stating a fact."

Dimitri laughed at me and I quickly realized that he was teasing me. I smiled back at him. We continued to joke with one another for a few more minutes before something I said triggered an unrecognizable look in his eyes now. This was a look I had never seen on him to this point. I was not sure how to react. His eyes held curiosity mixed with something less identifiable.

"Bellamy, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." I permitted.

"There is something I would like to know, while we have this time to talk privately."

"What's up Thor?"

The look changed only marginally. "When I scanned you files, and your most recent training logs and records, I noticed that there is a two-week span of time during your training with Bridgette that appears to be omitted. I was not able to locate anything on you or your training during those two weeks. It is as if you fell off the face of the planet."

"That's because I did fall off the planet, philosophically speaking. I wasn't training."

"What were you doing?" He began his interrogation.

"Running." I told him. "Hiding." I corrected. "I was trying to disappear."

"From what?" His tone of voice suddenly smoothed, making him sound so troubled that it was impossible for me to resist telling him my short story.

I was pretty sure that this particular conversation would come up no matter what, so I now found myself searching for the best way to explain and justify the still unaccounted for two weeks of training time.

"I am going to be as honest with you as I can be, Dimitri. Please do not judge me for what I did."

I noticed that he slowed his pace in order to fully devote his attention to me.

"I did something that I should not have, but it was the best thing I could've done." I had a gut feeling that if I did not explain myself well enough, I was going to hear a long lecture about duty and expectation. Dimitri often said that I used words well, and that they could be used in ways that most people never anticipated. I had to choose my words carefully in this moment.

"While I understand that it was juvenile, it was also the only thing that could've helped me at the time."

"What did you do Bellamy?" He firmly inquired, his tone already reprimanding.

"I ran away from home. I ran away from everything." I stared out in front of us as we walked side by side, unwilling to see disappointment or incredulity in his eyes. "I just ran."

"Why?"

We reached the lodge again, and Dimitri was interested in hearing my reasons for running away from my training. Part of him sounded intrigued, but my reasons were not what he would be expecting.

"A breakup." It sounded so ridiculous being said out loud this time. I did not need to see or hear his disappointment. I could feel it.

"Bellamy." Yes, he was already rebuking my excuse, and because I refused to face him, I was physically shifted to stand face to face, his hands gently touching my shoulders.

"My reason for running started out because of Mason, but there was more I did not yet understand."

He let me go on.

"I'm seventeen, my heart was broken, and I was having a mini crisis of faith."

"Faith?"

"Life." I corrected myself a second time. "I was having a crisis of life."

Dimitri dusted the snow from a stone bench and sat, making room for me to sit beside him.

"When Mason wrote and broke up with me, I was already questioning my life choices. I temporarily lost my entire sense of purpose. I didn't see the point of being a Guardian, and that scared me because becoming a Guardian is the only thing we are brought up to do. I started to feel suffocated, being trained to kill things when I felt like I was dying inside. I needed to get out. I needed to get away." I took a deep breath. "I left Bridgette a note and I started to run." I couldn't stand the disappointment that I now saw in his eyes. It was crushing to have someone as respected and admired as Dimitri Belikov disappointed in you.

"Bridgette found me."

Dimitri gave me a sort of knowing laugh. "Of course she did."

"Two days after I had decided I'd had enough of what was expected of me, I entered into a random coffee house in Berlin to see her waiting." My head lowered and I recalled the look of relief on Bridgette's face back then. "She didn't even yell at me for leaving. She didn't lecture either."

"You're kidding." Dimitri was more shocked than I had expected him to be.

"No. She didn't even admonish me for dying my hair neon pink. She accepted it, and she just sat with me. We drank our weight in cappuccino, and she let me talk as much or as little as I needed."

"What did you talk about?" He surprised me with his question, only because he was never one to pry.

""Everything." I said. "First, we talked about Brooklyn and the toll killing her had taken on my conscience. You were right about that by the way." I gave him credit for knowing what would happen.

"I did not want to be."

"I know." I returned. "We then moved on to Christian, and the blissful storm that fuels our sometimes damaging but always needed connection."

He didn't say anything about that, and I was grateful for his silence.

"We discussed the Council and their unanimous decision to make me a Guardian early. As it turns out, I am one of the few people who was not comfortable with their decision. They did not ask my opinion. They simply ruled on the matter and sent me into the field. I was not given any kind of grace period between the arduous transition. I struggled with the adjustment that most graduated Dhampir go through easily."

I saw Dimitri react to my revelation, but I had to keep talking. It was not a point I wanted to hear him debate.

"And finally, Bridgette made me talk about Mason." I felt his hand touch to mine, resting on the bench between us.

"I imagine that was not an easy conversation for you."

"You know," I disclosed, "at the time, I thought I had been running because of Mason and the heartbreak he caused me, but it was so much more. I needed to find that spark."

"What spark?"

I thought about the times I had seen Dimitri fight, that wild and unrestrained intensity, the brutal aggression we all kept a tenuous hold on, escaping. I thought of those times I had seen purpose in his eyes as he fought, and trained so hard for what might lay ahead.

"The spark that makes you and Bridgette, and every other Guardian I know want to do what we do; The spark that drives us to want to become Guardians, not because we have to but because we want to. I had to choose my life instead of being expected to just live in it."

"So, Bridgette let you go after all of that?" Dimitri questioned Bridgette's decision to let me walk away again. "She just let you continue to run away?"

"She told me to take the time I needed, to find whatever it was that I was searching for, and if I chose to return, she would be waiting to train me. I was back in Hungary two weeks later."

"You only lasted two weeks?" Dimitri sounded surprised again.

"I only needed two weeks." I might've been more insulted by his assumption that I could only last two weeks on my own, if not for the fact that he knew me better than that. "I stumbled onto the thing I needed most, the thing I'd been searching for, late one night."

I saw his eyes turn to question what I had found.

"I found the answer to my crisis." I said. "I was out walking late at night, trying not to think about Christian, trying to forget about Mason, and a scream tore me from all of those thoughts. My entire body and my mind reacted instinctively. I will never forget those blood curdling screams. I won't bore you with details," I continued, "but there was a Strigoi terrorizing a few human club-goers." I stood up, walking a few steps away, reflecting back on that time. "That was the first Strigoi I faced on my own, and it was the first time I realized how much I want to be a Guardian, and how much I want to defend others, while eliminating this evil and hateful threat."

The disappointment I'd seen in Dimitri earlier disappeared. He looked pleased now.

"Bridgette was waiting for me in the training center when I returned. I was not surprised to see her there. She knew I would return. She made sure I was okay after I told her what happened, and despite any concern, she was proud of me."

"I am proud of you too, Bellamy." Dimitri came to stand with me, taking another not so subtle look at my marks.

After our talk, I was more relieved than anything. I had run in order to bring a halt to what I felt was an unreasonable pattern, being born, training to protect Moroi, having multiple mantras drilled into our heads, all in order to become Guardians. After realizing that it was not such a ridiculous concept, I was worried still that the Guardians I knew, the Guardians who had spent their hard spare time training me would be disappointed in me. Dimitri was not. He was proud that I had found myself, and the purpose needed to do our jobs. We stood together, still talking for the short time we had left in our training time, interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything."

"Just our training." I found myself facetiously remarking loud enough.

"Tasha." Dimitri acknowledged her appearance. "Of course not." Because he was not the type of person to be rude or intentionally cruel, he stayed away from repeating my sentiment.

But there was something odd in the way he spoke to her this time. I studied him, examining his body language and his expression. The tenor of his voice was both peculiar and so unlike him. I was stumped by what I was witnessing.

"Good." Tasha said, walking closer.

Dimitri took a quick step back and it really threw me off. 'What the hell is going on with you?' I tried to ask him non-verbally.

"I was hoping you might like to take a walk or grab a cup of coffee with me." She suggested to Dimitri.

Did I not just mention the fact that he and I were training still?

"No, thank you." Dimitri refused politely, his hand gripping the back hem of my jacket gently.

"Son of a…" I said under my breath, turning my head to look at him again.

I had just placed the look and his abnormal behavior.

"Bellamy and I are preparing for a workout class we will provide novices."

"Oh." The Moroi woman took another step towards us and I thought for sure that this big, strong, usually unbothered man was going to use me as his human shield, taking position behind me.

"Bells, we should go." He insisted.

I agreed with him, and as soon as we were a good distance away from the lodge entrance again, I cracked, falling apart with laughter. I couldn't help myself. After seeing someone who in my eyes was one of the most feared and fearless people I knew turn into a terrified mess at the approach of Tasha Ozera, there was nothing I could do but laugh.

"Withdraw the troops and retreat." I made myself laugh even more. My eyes darted up to Dimitri as he had me walking at a fairly rapid pace. "You have got some explaining to do." I said, but as per usual, Dimitri had gone into that guarded stoic Guardian mode of his again. His behavior now only made me want to ask more questions. "Oh no." I refused. "When you decided you would use me to share in your deceitful plan to escape Tasha, you took on the responsibility to tell me what the hell that was all about. I won't be used as a human shield without knowing why."

I caught the fleeting look of remorse in his eyes, but he was not going to say anything about it, which was expected. I would find a way of pulling this information from him, but it would take me some time and better ways of approach. Once my time with him was up, Dimitri let me go. I had a scheduled physical training session in the makeshift gym now. Alberta was all too keen to evaluate my level of hand to hand combat as I had now become a Guardian trainee. I was nowhere near being able to bring down the best of the best, many of which were here at this ski lodge, but Alberta wanted me to try. I got a few good shots in, even managing to pin her once or twice. I did however need more time in as a Guardian before I would ever be able to win this battle. All in all, she and I had a good session, and after the extra-long shower I took, and a change of clothes, I felt better with a positive outlook on things. I was on my way through the Guardian sectors of the lodge when I heard my name called from one of the rooms I had walked by. I circled back, recognizing that it was Stefan Chase who'd spotted me. I stood in the frame of the door, leaning to my left.

"Hey Bellamy," He said, "you up for a few Guardian games?"

My face must have said so much to him in this moment, because he looked ready to start trying to convince me.

"Absolutely not." I refused. "The last time you all convinced me that Guardian games would be "fun", I got tricked into racing through the course of doom against Belikov. I won't be doing that again any time soon." I had gotten into the habit of referring to Dimitri by his surname when I connected him to his scarier competitive side.

"You don't have to run any courses." Yuri startled me, his hands grasping my waist for a few seconds as he walked up behind me, entering into the room with other Guardians. "There is no Guardian course involved in this friendly competition." He winked flirtatiously as usual, falling onto the couch between Stefan and Stan.

"Yeah," I replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster, trying not to show any interest I had in Yuri as he blatantly flirted, "when you say friendly, I kind of think you mean the opposite." My response evoked humorous pleas from the others.

"Please Bellamy." Yuri whined, unable to change my mind.

It wasn't until Stefan stood, looking as if he knew exactly how to convince me, that I worried.

"Bellamy, you are so good at sports." He catered to my ego. He was not above playing dirty, which was precisely why he and I got along. "I need one more expert athletically inclined person on my team. With everything I have seen you do, I could never doubt your ability to play better than anyone else. Please come and play." He gave me his cheesiest grin and had me hooked. Damn him.

I knew what he was doing, but I had a feeling that if I did not agree, I would not hear the end of it.

"Alright. Fine." I gave in. "I'll play."

""Bellamy's in." Stefan announced. "And she is on my team."

"Not fair." Alberta cried out from a few feet away, convincing others to play. "You didn't let her choose her team. You cannot just claim her."

"I did."

The two went on arguing, but eventually Stefan won. He put a hand to my shoulder.

"The teams are still uneven."

"Well," Alberta suggested, "there is one more possibility, but you know he always refuses."

"Who does?" I asked.

"Dimitri." She answered, looking down at her duty roster again. "We don't have another choice. Alright, who is going to do it?" She called out, and the all other players and non-players refused, mumbling things I could not hear.

"What is the big deal?" I asked them. "Why doesn't anyone want to ask Dimitri? He'd probably be great at playing any outdoor sport you choose. If there is anyone more athletic than me, it's him." I was not being insulting to the others' sporting skills.

"No argument there." Stan agreed. "But he always refuses. One time, he even yelled at me for asking."

"I find that rather difficult to believe." I could not believe that Dimitri would ever yell at someone for simply asking a question. His level disposition would never allow for it. I looked at the small group of Guardians willing to play, but all afraid of Dimitri Belikov. Cowards. "Oh for the love of... I will go and ask him. Is he off rotation yet?" I asked Alberta.

"Yes, but Bellamy," she paused, "are you sure you want to do that?"

"If no one else is willing, I will be the bravest one in the room. Leave Thor to me."

It was amazing to see Guardians who were all willing to fight Strigoi, and go up against unimaginable dangers, in fear of Dimitri. What was the big damn deal? It was Dimitri Belikov for crying out loud. He was no scarier to confront that Bridge… okay, I thought. Now I got it. I walked away to go and find the man.

"Nerves of steel, that one." Stan commented as I walked out of the room.

I found myself walking down the hall, trying to determine where my Russian god might be. I hoped that he was not out with Tasha again, allowing her to influence him into leaving St. Vladimir's, but after his last reaction to her, I had to doubt that was the case. The man already had a prestigious position as Guardian to Vasilisa Dragomir, along with Rose Hathaway. I could not imagine him giving that one up. As I approached the door to his room, I walked right by it, walking a few more feet down the hall. Picking up my phone, I dialed his number. He picked up on the second ring.

"Belikov." He answered. He sounded tired, and I worried that I woke him up.

"Hey Thor, it's Bells. Did I wake you? I'm sorry if I did. I didn't knock on your door in case you were asleep, and clearly you were."

"No." I heard him groan. "I'm still up."

"Liar." I replied to him. "I've woken you."

"Bellamy, I am awake. Come back and knock." Dimitri insisted, so I made my way back to his door, hanging up my phone to knock.

When he opened his door, now dressed in jeans and a fitted blue t-shirt, I swiftly slipped right past him, turning to stand and face him as I reached the center of the room. He looked at me suspiciously as he closed his door.

"Can I ask why you decided to knock on my door?"

I maintained my persuasive demeanor. "I am here to ask you to come out and play."

"Play?" He cocked an eyebrow. "With you?"

"Me, and a few other Guardians."

Suddenly he looked exhausted and perturbed, exhaling in frustration. "Did the others send you up here?

"Cowards. The whole lot of them."

"Bellamy, I…"

"Thor, come out and play." I sounded as though I were giving him a command of my own.

"Play what?"

"I'm not entirely sure of that yet." I honestly said. "But it sounds like good fun." I gave him my most charming smile, still being refused.

"No thank you, Bells." Dimitri politely declined.

It seemed I was going to have to come up with a different approach. Dimitri Belikov was not as easily swayed by me as others were. I always did like a challenge.

"Why are you being anti-social?

"I am not being anti-social."

"Fine, then you won't mind putting on something a bit warmer, and coming outside to have a little fun."

"Fun?"

"Yes Dimitri, fun. You have heard of it. I know you have."

He gave a small smirk.

"And if you seriously consider refusing me again," I grinned wickedly, "I will sit right here," I took a seat in one of the chairs, "and harass you until you agree."

The man looked unfazed by my threat.

"You know that I can be a right pain in the ass when I want to be. You will get nothing done, and I am not so easy to be rid of."

"Especially when you don't get your way." Dimitri mumbled.

"Now you're catching on."

Walking back towards the Guardians lounge room, I felt smug. I felt entertained and indulged by my accomplishment too. I was stared at by everyone as I returned. Had they really expected me to fail?

"You should refer to me as High commander from now on." I said to Alberta and Stefan, confidently standing a few feet away.

"You didn't." Alberta recognized my request as an impossible achievement.

"He is meeting us in the lobby in ten minutes."

"How the hell did you get him to agree?" Stefan wanted to know.

I told him. "I more or less…more than less effectively threatened to take up residence in his sanctuary of a room until he agreed to come out and be social."

"Damn," Yuri was beside me, "why didn't I think of that?"

I felt his fingers touch mine for only a few seconds. I had to assume it was unintentional, but it did not lessen the tingling sensation that rippled through me. I glanced over at him.

"Because, if you even joked about an idea like that, he would probably pick you up by your eyelashes and toss you out."

Stefan and Alberta laughed out loud at the thought.

"You may be right." Yuri leaned over and quickly kissed my cheek. "Amazing, Bellamy."

"That's High commander." Alberta made sure to correct him.

"Thank you, Yuri." I looked at my watch. "Three minutes to spare." I noticed. "Let's go."

Once out of the elevators, we were all laughing at a few joking comments made on our way to the lobby. As we moved into the expansive mostly empty room, Dimitri stood from a couch.

"Fun, remember?" I said, and I half expected him to tell me to sod off.

"Okay," Stefan and Alberta stood in view of our somewhat small group. There were only eight of us in total, "game one is an easy one. We pretty much have the slopes to ourselves for the next few hours, so our first game will be a race. We'll race in groups of two, one person from each team. The winner of each race will progress on to the next race, and so on. The winning team at the end of these games, will not only have bragging rights," Alberta offered as Head Guardian, "but also, the losing team will take over one shift for the winning team members."

"We are racing ?" Dimitri still showed little excitement.

"Grab your gear and meet out at the snow mobiles." Stefan instructed.

We all scattered, going to grab our gloves, goggles, and ski equipment.

"I don't know how I let you talk me into this." Dimitri said, entering into the elevator I was already in after retrieving my own gear.

"You're acting like a child. What is so wrong with having a little fun with the other Guardians? They are your friends." Yes, they were indeed his friends, and mine, but the expression he gave showed a continued lack of interest. "Tell you what Thor." I was trying to make him feel more interested, "The last Guardian games we played, I was lucky enough to tie with you." I bit down on my lower lip in thought. "If you stop your bitching and play nice, you and I can secretly compete for the title we share from the Guardian course."

This proposal got his attention, piquing his competitive interest. "You would be willing to potentially forfeit the tie?"

This was going to be the St. Vladimir's course all over again. I'd told Stefan and Yuri that I was not interested in competing against Dimitri again, but really, if it got him outside, I was willing.

"Sure. But you must promise to have fun."

His mood lightened significantly by the time we made it down to the lobby, walking towards the doors.

"You aren't using your skis?" Yuri questioned me, joining our walk out to the group of vehicles.

I carried a pink and white striped snowboard rather than a set of skis.

"I prefer a board to skis any day."

The ride up the mountain side was an interesting one. While others already started to race, I held back. I had never driven a snow mobile, and Yuri being one to often say yes to me, allowed me to drive. I was not oblivious to his motives for letting me drive, as his arms stayed securely around my mid-section. Truthfully though, I didn't mind his arms around me much. It was his low accent in my ear that was causing me to lose focus more than anything else. If I was not careful, I was going to run us right off of the nearest cliff. I focused just enough to drive, keeping the vehicle moving forward. Once we arrived at the top of the mountain, joining the other six Guardians at a black diamond hill, off limits to the novices and younger Moroi, the rules and guidelines were given again. The winner of the first race would challenge the winner of the second, determining the semi-final champion. That winner would race against the Guardian who won the in the fourth and final race.

Dimitri and Stefan were the first two to race downhill. Like me, Dimitri preferred a challenge, using a snowboard. Naturally, Dimitri won the race, returning up the hill with Stefan. Knowing that he and I had a personal competition going made this far more interesting. I was given the privilege of racing Alberta in the second race. I had once seen that the other female Guardian was a good downhill skier. She had quite the talent for the sport, and I had not used a snowboard in ages. Still, I was not going to give in. The hill was steep as I peered down. It was steeper and faster than I had initially realized. The curves and bends were far more challenging. It was by sheer luck that I pulled ahead a few times. Alberta swerved the last time, going into a slight spin, giving me a small edge. She was okay, no injuries seen, but as it gave me a small lead, I had to keep my advantage. I really had to stay concentrated on the ski path, trying my best not to lose control of which way I went, and keeping myself up right and balanced. Before I knew it, Alberta was coming up at my back at a swift speed. I had not expected to see her yet, but that just proved her talent.

"Shit." I swore, leaning into the curves, moving a little faster. The two of us were neck and neck for the lead, coming to the bottom of the hill. Again, the gods and saints must have been on my side as the front of my board edged an inch past her skis. We arrived back at the top to see all four men waiting to hear the news of our results.

"That was a crazy hard race Petrov."

"A great race though."

"Who won?" Stan and Yuri questioned.

"Who do you think won?" Alberta and I looked over at them.

Yuri and Stefan both congratulated me while I saw Dimitri stand back, looking impressed, but not deterred by our own competition.

"Never cease to amaze me, Bells." He said quietly as I stood beside him, preparing for the next race. It was me against Dimitri, and this was where our competition would play itself out. He had just won his race against Stefan, and after a short break to catch his breath, we were at the starting line together again.

By the time we both reached the bottom of our hill a final time, both out of breath and riding the fantastic high of practically flying down a hill covered in both snow and challenging obstacles, we were exhausted from so many races.

"Our course title is yours once again, Thor." I submitted.

Dimitri won the race between us, beating me by mere seconds and inches. I was a good enough sport to admit defeat. He had taken the race fairly, and although he had won our race, it was my Guardian team that took up the proverbial trophy. As we reached the rest of our game playing group of friends, they were loading up the snow mobiles with their gear, preparing to return to the lodge. Congratulations were offered to Dimitri, who humbly accepted, and we were all ready to get back to work. It was going on dusk, colder weather and darker skies rolling in as Yuri and I took the same car down the hill together. While he had taken the opportunity to put his arms around me on the way up, Yuri was in the driver's seat on the way down the hill, my arms securely hugging him this time.

"You should set up a rematch with Belikov." He said as we reached the steps leading into the lodge lobby. Moroi and Dhampir were now beginning to wake and rise, going about their normal nightly activities. Many students were just starting to gather their ski gear as we had just finished.

I felt Yuri's hand brush against mine as he walked closer, climbing the steps, and walking into the now brightly lit lobby. I wondered if anyone else noticed the action, or the way we walked so close together, part of me not caring as the same rush of exhilaration I'd felt on the ski slopes returned, swirling all around me. Yuri and I were laughing quietly and even flirting as Dimitri showed up on my left, pulling me to the side of the room.

"What happened on that hill?" He interrogated me, but I genuinely felt unaware of what he might be referring to.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…"

"Dimitri, we raced, you won. It was a fun and challenging game. Congrats on the win."

"I saw you Bellamy." His voice lowered to a whisper. "You slowed down into that final curve. Before that, you shifted your position halfway down the hill." He backed away slightly, likely not wanting me to think that he would accuse me of cheating or throwing the race in his favor.

Dimitri and I were both far too competitive. He had to know that throwing a downhill race between us, was not ever a consideration. And, our discussion of it was brought to an abrupt halt.

"Dimitri. Bellamy." I heard our names called out from across the lobby. I knew that voice, and it sounded extraordinarily slighted. Tasha Ozera made her way swiftly through the small crowd of Guardians and students, all congregating in the spacious room.

"Hello Bellamy." She greeted me with what I could clearly tell was a fake smile and gritted teeth before her attention was back on Dimitri. "I thought you said you were working." Her sweet façade returned as she spoke to him, her hand touching to his arm.

"I was."

There was no way either of us could hide our snowboards, keeping them at our sides.

"You said that you were too busy to do anything because you were on duty."

Dimitri tensed, his eyes darting from Tasha to me. "Bellamy and a few other Guardians caught me after I got off duty. They…"

"I made Dimitri an offer he could not refuse." I managed to throw myself under the bus for Dimitri, trying to help him out.

It only made things worse apparently. Tasha's demeanor was unchanged.

"So, Bellamy can convince you to stop working long enough to have a little fun, but…"

Yeah, my attempt at helping and even my presence was not helping out one bit.

"To be fair, the only reason he caved was because my offer consisted of staging a sit-in, in the middle of his hotel room until he agreed."

Tasha's eyes went wide, looking a tad outraged, that I, the seventeen-year old had been granted access to his sanctuary, while others had been refused. Yes, I was absolutely making things worse.

Hey Thor, I am going to get out of the line of fire here." I decided that leaving was a better option. "I am clearly making things worse." I said in my much quieter voice

I was not one to go looking for confrontation, so my choice to escape should not have come as a surprise to him.

"Thanks." He facetiously returned, grimacing.

I did not think the idea of him using me as a human shield against Tasha Ozera was too far-fetched anymore.

"Thanks for coming out to play with us." I intentionally mentioned. "And, congrats on your win."

"We are going to finish that conversation later."

"I don't see the point." I began to walk away. "You won. Accept it."

"Bells, we have class at six am sharp. I do not need to remind you to be punctual."

I didn't answer, continuing to walk away. After his tense talk with Tasha, I was sure Dimitri was going to go back to sleep. I however, had a limited amount of time to shower, change, and meet up with Janine Hathaway again. I was going on a twenty-four hour round of guarding and training. Immediately after my time ended with Janine, I was scheduled to meet Dimitri, providing a short course for Dhampir. I made it to the third floor war room with minutes to spare, checking in with Janine and Alberta, but both were engrossed in mapping out any sort of patterns related to the most current Strigoi attacks.

"There has got to be more rhyme or reason." I heard Janine say as she studied, looking for any type of connection.

Many Guardians had already placed colored pins onto a few boards, identifying known Strigoi attacks or sightings. There were quite a few, and they were all scattered in the most chaotic ways, making our lives that much more difficult. Tonight was turning out to be the most boring night of my life so far. I was put on desk duty and given paperwork to file and record. Most nights I was grateful to not be on edge or have to worry about anything happening, but this was a little ridiculous. I was so over sitting in this chair, and filling out reports that when Alberta walked over to check on my progress, my only response was to roll my eyes at her.

"This is part of the job too, Bellamy."

"This has got to be the most pointless and tedious part of any job."

The Head Guardian shrugged.

"I understand the point of keeping records," I clarified, "but, there have got to be limits."

"I agree it sucks, but at some point we all get put behind a desk for a few short hours."

"And what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." I nearly jumped out of my chair as Yuri came up behind me, his hands settling just beneath my ribcage. He quickly moved to the side of the desk, occupying the chair next to me. "How long have you been at this?"

"Nine hours?" I looked at the clock on the wall. It had actually been ten hours. "Are you just coming on duty?"

Yuri shook his head, his hypnotic and deeply colored eyes never leaving me. "Been at this for the past eight hours. I was on patrol outside near the perimeters and then I had to do a few student room checks."

"Lucky you."

He winked, and I swear my heart literally skipped a beat as he moved in closer.

"Do you think I could convince you to have dinner with me downstairs if I can manage to get you off of desk duty and maybe off the clock a few hours early?"

I tilted my head only slightly towards him. He was asking me to dinner? Was this a date? Yuri and I both knew where things stood between us. We flirted with the boundaries that had been drawn, but we both understood that I was still a few weeks under the age laws, so anything more than friendship was not a possibility. Still, stranger things had happened.

"If you can get me out of here early, I'll throw in extra time between us." I smiled back at him as he stood, his fingertips twirling around the last edges of my hair before he made his way over to where Janine sat focused on her own work.

"What?" I heard the woman ask. I was careful not to direct my full attention to their conversation. "Oh," Janine actually sounded only half-present, "Sure. Go ahead." She permitted.

Before I knew it, Yuri had my hand linked with his, and was pulling me up from the desk and out of the room before Janine had time to change her mind. I waited until we were alone in the elevator before questioning.

"What did you say to her?"

"I asked if I could take you away for the next few hours." Yuri said. "There is nothing going on right now, so I did not think Janine would have any issue with you cutting out early. Maybe we can hit the gym and do some sparring later." He suggested, with that slight hint of suggestion he often used.

I thought about stopping to change my clothes, but since I was still going to be on instructor duty with Dimitri in a few hours, I saw no point. There were plenty of people, Guardians, Dhampir, and Moroi, already downstairs at the lodge restaurant, all deep within their own conversations, and having a good time. I spotted Shane and Eddie together, and received smiles from both. Eddie tipped his head to the side curiously, watching Yuri take my hand and lead me to a table. Mason was nowhere to be seen, neither was Christian, and perhaps under the current circumstances, that was a good thing. Yuri and I sat down together, and immediately conversation was started between us. We talked about so much. Yuri filled me in on all that had happened at St. Vladimir's after I left, and I detailed as much as I was allowed, to him. I kept the fact that I had run away for a short span of time quiet, but I soon learned that it was not a secret.

"So, you have gone from seriously lethal novice, to runaway Guardian, to seriously lethal Guardian."

I winced as we ate together. "Who told you I ran away?"

His eyes said it all. "Dimitri." We spoke in unison.

"He only told me and Alberta." Yuri said in defense of Dimitri, and I guess I could understand Alberta and Yuri knowing. After all, they had been two of my trainers as well. "And he didn't mention your spontaneous escape to be cruel, or to set you up for a reprimand. I think he is actually proud of you for running off."

I made a face as Yuri made that statement. Dimitri Belikov was certainly not proud to hear that I had run away from everything, including him and Bridgette.

"He mentioned that you were feeling lost. He said that you were struggling even before you left the Academy." I heard Yuri sigh, tapping his fork to his plate a few times. "You could've come to me. You could've talked to me Bellamy." He said the things that I already knew. "All of those days we trained together, nights when we ran together; All of those times we sat talking together in the gyms or in the weight rooms. I would have listened to it all." His hand reached across the table, touching to mine, oblivious and indifferent to anyone watching the gesture. But he was telling the truth. He would have listened without judgment or advice if I had chosen to talk about my concerns, regrets, or fears.

"It's like I told Dimitri." I was happy to let his hand remain with mine. "I did not want you all to be disappointed in me. Part of my struggle was being afraid of what you, Alberta, Dimitri, Mason, Christian, and even Bridgette might think of me if I looked like I could not face anything that was thrown at me.

Yuri let go of my hand, sitting back in his chair, his arms crossing over his broad chest, shoulders staying perfectly level as he silently stared at me for far too long to feel comfortable after some time. Finally he leaned forward.

"Come with me." He half-ordered, taking my hand again, keeping me in tow as we left the restaurant, and made our way across the expansive lobby.

"Where are we going?"

"To talk." He informed me evasively. "There are some things that you should be made aware of sweetheart."

I might have been more concerned about what he was going to clarify or make me aware of, but for the fact that he had just used the term 'sweetheart'. I wasn't sure if he'd done it subconsciously or if he was aware of it. I had to let it go for now. There was a room off to the right of the front desk, mostly used by Guardians, and it appeared that was where we were headed. Yuri stopped at the door, turning to me, his eyes now more concentrated on me and determined to make a point.

"I want you to know," his weight shifted from one side to the other, and his mouth did that super sexy thin line thing," I could never be remotely disappointed in you. Ever." He tuned the door knob and stayed in place. "Not one of these Guardians," he pointed into the small room, "or any others could ever be disappointed in you."

"You aren't going to walk in and ask them, are you?" I hoped he was going to say no.

He half smiled. "If ever you think that you were not ready to become a Guardian, I want you to remember that there is not one St. Vladimir's Guardian who can say they thought anything less of you even while you were technically a novice."

I was feeling so much more secure and even more confident after talking to Yuri, but we were not done. As we walked into what I referred to as the Guardian sanctuary, I was not expecting what I saw going on. After the talk we'd had about the subject, I was clearly stunned and even dismayed to see Dimitri clearly on what appeared to be a date with Natasha Ozera. He was well aware of how I felt about Tasha, and he knew exactly why my feelings were the way that they were. The two were sitting on a couch, a fireplace roaring to their left, and a blanket draped over their laps. Dimitri's arm was rested at the back of the couch, while Tasha was cuddled in close to him, quietly whispering away from the other Guardians in the room. A wave of rage swept over me as she touched his face so intimately. There was right and there was wrong. This was most definitely wrong.

"Let's sit." Yuri suggested, his palm touching briefly to my lower back, pushing back the betrayal I felt.

We sat closer to the fireplace, which now felt more romantic than it should have.

"Talk to me, Bellamy." Yuri gained my undivided attention. It was better given to him than it was to give attention to Dimitri and Tasha. I moved in closer to Yuri, our hands resting so close to each other.

"The grass is always greener." I used the clichéd statement, knowing I would have to explain my former and current point of views when it came to being a Guardian. "Looking back, I think that I was more afraid of facing my own current troubles, rather than my future as a Guardian."

Again he smiled sweetly, less flirtatiously this time. "We all face that Bellamy." He admitted. "Our problems follow us. They don't disappear when we become Guardians. The fear of dealing with them always remains. I wish I could say there is a quick fix."

"Name one thing that you have been afraid to face." I challenged, bemused by his response.

"My past." Said Yuri. His eyes were cast downward, and he looked more distraught as he talked about his past and some of the troubles he faced before and after becoming a Guardian.

It was nice to sit and talk to Yuri. It was nice to talk to someone who genuinely listened. At one point, as I gave more details about to my short escape, Yuri and I were laughing so much that we were near tears a few times, occasionally being spied on from other conversations in the room. Yuri took my wrist into his hands, flipping it over, and running his thumb over the midnight blue raven tattooed into my skin. Even when I mentioned my former pink hair color, he leaned back in consideration, trying to picture my dyed hair.

"Neon pink." He mused. "I can see it." His voice lowered even more. "I would've liked to see that."

I could feel the color and the heat rush and rise in my cheeks. He was flirting again. Not that he'd ever really stopped. Much like talking to him, I liked reciprocating our flirtatious banter. I'd kept a few strands of the pink hair color, hidden at the back of my neck, so as I showed him, Yuri's fingers again moved though the strands, accidentally brushing my skin again. I was so absorbed in our conversation and our flirting, that I hadn't noticed the Moroi woman on her way towards us.

"Am I interrupting?" Her voice cut through me like a hundred sharpened knives.

My eyes shifted behind her to see Dimitri still on the couch, his arm now moved.

"As a matter of fact…"

"Of course not lady Ozera." Yuri cut in, hearing my harsh tone before I could finish.

"Hmm. Bridgette always speaks so highly of you." Tasha was unmistakably starting a fight with me as she brought up Bridgette. "The last time I saw you, Bridgette made a point to say that you are kind and loyal."

If she was looking for my kindness and any tolerance of her wrongdoing, she was looking in the wrong place with the wrong person, but then the tenor of her voice shifted.

"She seems to intentionally leave out the fact that you are a bitch when you don't get your way."

Really? This woman just stood here and called me a bitch, and Dimitri did not move? She was definitely starting a fight. Yuri was at my side, ready to step in and defend my honor if and when needed. I was not going to address the reason for the 'getting my way' comment, but I was also not going to let it slide without an appropriate response.

"Yeah, Bridge does like that to be a fun little surprise for others. And what exactly does Bridgette have to do with this clear animosity you seem to feel for me?" Yuri scoffed, hiding his enjoyment of my attempt at playing the innocent with no insight into the acrimony between Tasha and Bridgette.

"I know that you have already taken Bridgette's side in our argument, despite the fact that you of all people should know there are two sides to every argument. I am fighting a losing a battle with you." Tasha was fully aware and correct. "So, perhaps I shouldn't start with Bridgette, but with Christian. I assume that since you are no longer together, and have both moved on, that he is not off limits."

Oh, this bitch was going to play dirty.

"You leave Christian out of this." I insisted, my heart still broken over him too. "He has nothing to do with any argument you have with me."

Tasha actually laughed, sounding shrill and annoying. "On the contrary. He has so much to do with our conversation. You broke his heart." She informed me of another thing that I already knew. "You broke his heart , but you still care so deeply for him. He is one of your biggest weaknesses. And for the strangest reason, you are one of Dimitri's weaknesses. Do you not find that strange?"

"Stop right there." I ordered, but Tasha continued to bait and fight.

"You are able to influence him in ways that I cannot."

"If you think I am going to help you, you are dreaming."

"You are not nearly as mysterious as you would like others to believe."

"You don't think so?" I hummed. "Well, I might have to try harder."

"I still find it so hard to know what Christian could've seen in you, aside from the fact that he got you into bed so easily now and then."

"Stop." She was pushing my buttons, finding the things that could hurt me most. "Stop it."

"He is so much better off now."

I felt my breath catch in my throat along with my words. A hand touched to my shoulder, protecting me from Tasha and her hurtful words. Yuri was with me, his eyes focused only on me and my retreat.

"Come on sweetheart." He said. "Let's leave her to her bitterness and go get you a little breathing room."

Yuri's hand was pressed to my back, leading me out of the room, but I found myself stopping just before my exit. I did not look back, but I spoke to Dimitri, feeling betrayed all over again.

"We protect Moroi. I understand the job and I know its uses. But, we do not do this in non-combat, against the emotional connection we have with others."

Yuri and I walked out of the room. We spent time sitting and taking the time for me to regain my composure.

"Thank you." I said to Yuri. "You did not need to come to my rescue, but you did, and I appreciate it."

His hand brushed softly over my cheek, causing me to look back at him.

"Belllamy, there are so many reasons for any and every man within a ten mile radius to fall in love with you." He said the words without any hesitation, and less nervousness than before. "If Tasha Ozera or anyone else cannot see why Christian Ozera or Mason Ashford fell in love with you, then they are blind or in denial."

We sat together, Yuri's arm around my shoulders for a full ten minutes before Dimitri managed to come and seek me out.

"Yuri, can I have a few minutes alone with Bellamy?"

Yuri agreed, unaware of my anger for Dimitri as well.

"I'll be close by." He whispered to me, hugging me close before letting go, and walking a distance away.

I did not move my head to see Dimitri, but lifted my eyes. He stood a few feet away from me, looking remorseful.

"Bellamy, I am sorry about what Tasha said to you back there." Dimitri referred to the span of time he had allowed Tasha Ozera to berate, condemn, and insult me without interruption, while he did and said nothing.

I was in no mood to hear his apologies, especially since as my friend, he should have had my back. Yuri did. And how dare he apologize for Tasha.

"With all due respect Guardian Belikov," I purposely used his title rather than his name, showing my level of discomfort and antipathy, "I have nothing nice to say right now, so if you don't mind I will keep quiet and see you shortly before our instructing begins. Right now I'd like to be alone."

I considered Dimitri Belikov to be an intelligent man. I would never accuse him of being anything less. He was even-tempered, level-headed, and most days very perceptive. So, the fact that he chose to keep me kept me in place, sitting down with me only meant one thing. He was purposely going to push me until I spoke to him. I steeled my nerves and my words, unwilling to let him publically bait me like Tasha had.

"Bellamy." He said my name, using that super soothing voice of his, able to hit my heart, weakening my resolve to stay mad and feel misled by someone I implicitly trusted.

I tossed off his words, and stood as calmly as I could manage. "I'm going to find some other place to be." I was three steps away, ready to find a new hiding spot when the air between us changed in an instant.

"Bellamy, stop!" That soothing tone had within seconds become harsh and unyielding, stopping me in place.

I spun around to face him as he stood toe to toe with me.

"Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do." It was a juvenile remark, but I needed to be angry at him right now. I thought, more than betrayed, I felt abandoned by my friend. It was a hard thing to see, and it made me hurt even more. "Go back to your date Dimitri." I insinuated too much, and honestly I could not tell if I was angering or hurting him more.

DIMITRI:

"This is a surprise." The woman on the other end of the phone sounded genuinely shocked by my call.

"I need to talk to you, Bridgette. I need some advice." My statement shocked her even more.

"From me?"

I felt my whole body sigh in exhaustion. "It is about Bellamy. She…"

"I just spoke to her." Bridgette did not hesitate to inform me. "She is very upset. She was crying."

I could not have felt any worse. I wondered if Bridgette let that bit of information slip purposely to make me feel so much worse. After all, Bridgette protected Bellamy the same way that Bellamy protected her aunt. It would only be expected for Bridgette to do something so cruel. But then again, Bridgette was not a cruel person. I considered the idea that I had brought someone as strong and loved to tears. Honestly at this point, I was close to falling apart myself.

"What the hell were you thinking, Dimitri?" Great, I thought. Now I was dealing with two Pearce women, angry and yelling at me. "You know, I sent Bellamy back there with the hope that it was still your objective to help guide her, not engage her in Mortal Combat. She has not had an easy go of it lately with…"

"I know." I quietly stopped Bridgette from readdressing all of the things Bellamy had since divulged to me.

I had called Bridgette, not necessarily because I wanted to, but because I was hoping that she above anyone else might hold some greater shred of insight into why her niece was suddenly declaring all-out war against me.

"This is unlike her." Bridgette spoke in her hushed introspective tone over her phone. "But even more so, this is very unlike you. This sort of reactive behavior goes against much of what you believe." This woman still knew me so well. "Bellamy trusts you, she relies on you. Why would you strike back?"

Bridgette was of course referring to the physical altercation that had occurred not ten minutes before, between me and Bellamy. "I didn't." I quickly admitted to the woman that I once loved, still loved in many ways; the woman that would not give a second thought to wiping me off of the face of this planet if I even fleetingly thought about harming her niece. "I did not strike back. She attacked me."

Bridgette went disconcertingly silent now, listening as I explained my side of this horrible and out-of-control fight.

"The way I see it, when Bellamy is angry, she usually has good reason to be." I sighed, leaning against the head board as I hid out in my hotel room from all of the women who were currently angry with me. "The problem is, I don't know the reason. And without that, I cannot even begin to fix things with her."

Bridgette laughed. She had found humor in this situation? I should've felt more insulted by her reaction, and I might have, but for the fact that Bridgette did in fact know more about Bellamy than me.

"This is about Tasha." Bridgette confessed to knowing.

I knew that Bridgette and Natasha recently had a falling out, and that it was because Tasha intended on asking me to become her personal Guardian. This did not sit well with Bridgette, but Tasha had asked anyway. I was stuck in between these two women as well, and it was worse being between them than it was being between Tasha and Bellamy, or Rose and Tasha. Bellamy had apparently overheard much of the conversation that occurred between Bridgette and Tasha, choosing to be loyal to Bridgette.

"She is protecting you." I argued with Bridgette, hoping to get an accurate response. "You can tell her…"

"Whoa." She stopped me. "When has either of us been able to tell Bellamy anything? And she is not protecting me." She sighed. "She is protecting you." This time it was her statement that shocked me instead. "Did you really sit by and allow Natasha Ozera to say those horrible things to my niece?"

"I…" I paused, trying to find anything to stay out of trouble with Bridgette Pearce. "I reprimanded Tasha for the things she said. I made it clear that she was wrong to say those things."

"Choices are a better test of character than actions are." Bridgette said retrospectively. "Bellamy likes that quote. It is one that she found some time ago. It was written or spoken by…"

"Aristotle." I quieted Bridgette with my own philosophical knowledge. "But, Bellamy does not like Aristotle."

"No." She agreed. "But, she does like that quote. Bellamy does not see things the way that you and I do. She prefers to watch things as they occur in real time. The choices or actions that you take immediately in a situation, count more to her. This situation with Natasha…"

"This situation with Natasha started because you are fighting with her. Bellamy only feels so angry because of you." I still had to argue this point.

"This is not about me." Bridgette repeated. "Hell, it's not even about Tasha in many ways. This is about you and Bellamy."

"Me and Bellamy?" I quietly questioned. "Is Bellamy jealous?"

Bridgette laughed out loud. "Oh, how I wish I could be around if you ever say that out loud to her. Be careful, Dimitri. She might lay you out again." She continued to laugh, but then she went eerily silent, before speaking. "The real problem," she was sounding slightly amused and arrogant, preparing to correct my faulty analysis, "is that Bellamy has you charmed and wrapped around her finger, in ways that you are completely blind to. You believe the hype that she herself sets up for others to believe. That hype is her mask. She is not always right, Dimitri." Bridgette decided to inform me. "If you would bother to argue with her every once in a while, instead of cowering or giving her what she wants, you would learn that she is not right one-hundred percent of the time."

"Only ninety percent of the time then?"

Again, she laughed. I smiled. It had been some time since I had heard Bridgette's laugh.

"She really does have you charmed."

"I wish she believed that too."

"She does." I was reassured by my friend. "But Bellamy is hurt. She is not angry." I was then informed. "There is a great difference when it comes to Bellamy. The things you said really struck a nerve in her. When she is angry, she is willing to see both sides of any conflict or confrontation. But hurting her, wounding her heart or her mind, changes the game. Bellamy is smart." I was not about to argue that point. "She is too smart sometimes. Not only does she have a remarkable grasp on using multiple languages to her advantage, she also has an unbelievably researched and studied perception on both human behavior and the love that others feel for her. She really should go into politics one day." Bridgette mused. "Use that against her." She then suggested. "Make her talk by throwing what you feel back at her."

"I cannot do that Bridgette. She won't…"

"I have seventeen years of experience in dealing with the many faces of Bellamy Pearce. Indignant, wounded, self-righteous, petulant, charming, self-sacrificing, narcissistic, morally superior…"

"Alright." I stopped her.

"Challenge her. Do not accuse her of being jealous again." Bridgette then warned.

"That is not a mistake I will soon make again." I put a hand to the side of my face where I had been punched for aiming such an accusation.

There was a long pause, making things increasingly awkward between us again.

"I should go." She finally spoke.

"Wait." I had one more question for her. "Bridgette, you know that I don't…"

"It is not important, Dimitri." She was trying her best to sound understanding of my position, but I knew better than to believe Bridgette's hype.

"Bridgette, it is important. You must know…"

"Dimitri, stop."

"Did Tasha really ask for your permission? Did she ask you if she could request me as her Guardian?"

"She did." Bridgette answered after another pause, and I could hear it in her voice. I could hear the same wounding emotion that I had heard in Bellamy.

"And you refused?"

"Of course I did."

"Why?" I questioned, and I heard her chuckle softly.

"Do you really have to ask Dimka? And for that matter, do I really need a reason?"

"No." I returned just as softly.

"Bye Dimitri." She hung up her phone, leaving me to make another attempt at salvaging the tattered pieces of my friendship with Bellamy after the explosion we had both caused.

Just hours before this, Bellamy and I were laughing and playing together. It wasn't until last night when she and Tasha "talked" that everything crumbled.

As I finished getting ready to return to work, Tasha found me as I exited the elevator doors, headed through the main lobby. It was morning, so most of the crowd had died down, and it was quieter. I was going to be late if I stopped to talk, so I kept walking.

"Dimitri."

"Hi Tash." I was still trying to hurry out the doors, carrying some of the equipment I had already picked up from the gym.

"Where are you off to now? Don't tell me you are on another shift already."

"Bellamy and I are giving a short combat course to a few novices." I slowed down before exiting the lobby doors. "What did you say to her last night?" I questioned Tasha.

I had missed much of the conversation Tasha insisted on having with Bellamy the previous night when Bellamy walked into our lounge with Yuri Tverskaya. Whispers had already started about Bellamy and Yuri, so seeing them holding hands as they entered did not help to alleviate suspicions. Tasha and I had been talking about the possibility of me guarding her, and mostly it was her doing the talking, but when I mentioned that Bridgette was not at all receptive to the idea of me and Tasha, she shut down, then asking me questions specifically about me and Bridgette. I was reluctant to answer or reveal anything about me and Bridgette, so I was almost relieved when Tasha excused herself to say hello to Bellamy. I had not given it a second thought. I never once thought I might have to worry about Bellamy being on the receiving end of any unkind words or battles. But, as I heard her pleading for the other woman to stop talking, to stop tormenting her, I was prepared to step in and shield Bellamy from anything at all. I was however, beat to the podium so to speak. Yuri was at her side, and as he led her away from Tasha, Bellamy had a few parting words clearly meant for me. Asking Tasha what had occurred was a bit useless.

"Girl talk." She answered before I ended our run of questions and answers.

Now I wanted to know more about what was said between the two women. After talking to Bridgette, I was clearly missing too much when it came to Bellamy.

"I want to know exactly what you said to Bellamy."

"I told her that I feel Christian is better off with Vasilisa than he was with Bellamy." Tasha said this without any sort of sympathy.

"Tasha." I scolded her harshly. To go after Bellamy because she could not go after Bridgette was one thing. Bellamy would protect Bridgette to the end, and use every tool in her arsenal to do so. But to attack Bellamy like she did, was cruel. Had I known… my thoughts then wandered, reviewing the things Bellamy said to me, and considering her emotions towards me now. To attack Bellamy about Christian or Mason still stung her deep. She was not over that pain yet. She was likely still in love with one or both of them.

"You cannot do that." I chided. "You cannot use Christian against Bellamy like that. She is still hurting over him." I was not sure if I should've given Tasha that information to use against Bellamy.

I left to run out to the field we were using for novice training. Bellamy was already waiting at the edge of the field area. She was standing a few feet away from the novices; novices that included Eddie Castille and Shane Reyes. She was clearly continuing to keep a small distance between herself and friends of Mason Ashford, holding her arms across her chest. As I walked up to her, I could see how hard she was fighting to keep control.

"Bellamy."

"Yuri brought the rest of the equipment out." She stopped me from greeting her, her animosity or emotional pain still present. I wondered how long it would be before she let me make up for anything I had said or not said.

She then set about getting the ten students we had, into lines for the training exercises while I sorted through the equipment Yuri had helped Bellamy cart outside. I had not realized before this, how much not being on good terms with Bellamy would affect me. She was not quite ignoring me, but she was not willing to set aside her frustration and hostility. It probably did not help matters when Tasha walked over just before the sun was totally up, to "watch" us work. What could I say? She was a member of the royal Court still, despite her desire to stay away from it most days and nights. And technically, she was a pseudo parental figure of an Academy student. Did it matter that the student was Moroi? It mattered to Bellamy, who caught sight of Tasha's arrival and not so subtle wave to me.

"This course is for Dhampir novices." Bellamy finally chose to say something to me, even if she was not being nice about it. "It is for Academy students. Tasha Ozera is neither Dhampir nor student." Bellamy's voice dripped with aggression.

And as soon as Bellamy pointed in the general direction of the Moroi woman, Tasha was on her way over. The sparring students slowly started to pay more attention to the quarrelling women.

"Bridgette really should teach you better manners."

I cleared my throat in order to stop Tasha from continuing to belittle my friend, but it didn't do any good, and Bellamy only saw it as an agreement.

"Just because you have lost Bridgette, your biggest Guardian ally, doesn't mean you get to…."

"You think that I lost Bridgette? I didn't lose her."

"Is that what you are telling yourself and others?" Bellamy could definitely hold her own when it came to standing up for others and herself. "Because I heard the argument she had with you. I was in the next room. It was loud and clear. I know exactly what she said to you."

"And so you ran to tell Dimitri as soon as you could." Tasha was playing rough again. She took a deep breath in as I stood behind her waiting to see what might happen next, wishing I had more Guardians present. "She is jealous." Tasha accused, and I could feel it in the air. Something had shifted. "The only reason that Bridgette Pearce would try to prevent Dimitri from moving forward, is jealousy."

Bellamy's fire ability was a concern to me at this moment. The shift I'd felt in the air was magical, and I was well aware that her uncontrolled ability was tied to her emotions. This had the potential to get much bumpier. I could stand between Tasha and Bellamy. I could not stand between Tasha and Bellamy's magic; the magic she was supposed to keep under wraps.

"Jealous?" Bellamy scoffed, her eyes shooting to me. "You think that Bridgette Pearce, one of the most fall your knees beautiful, most respected, sought after, and literally one of the deadliest Guardians is jealous of you?" She rolled her eyes, turning to walk away, but Tasha was equally as unwilling to give in as Bellamy.

"And she is as vulnerable as the rest of you." Tasha sounded as though she were threatening. "She too could be killed. And there is nothing you can do about it."

I saw Bellamy spin around quicker than I had ever seen her do before this point. She was going to go after Natasha Ozera for possibly threatening Bridgette. I could not allow it though. I stopped her, able to get between the two women in just the right amount of time as Tasha actually prepared to take on Bellamy. As if that would've been possible. Bellamy's skin was hotter than I had ever felt it too. The fire she could use was building into more of an inferno within her, and she was struggling to hold it back.

"Let me go." She commanded loudly as I held her back by her shoulders.

"Tasha, go!" I ordered, noticing now that all of our students were no longer practicing, but definitely watching the drama unfold.

"You sure do get quite worked up when Dimitri is not on your side."

"Tasha, I said go." I repeated.

"I guess I do." I heard Bellamy say. It was the way she said it more than the actual words, and the way she looked back at me. It made me feel so out of place, and made me feel the distance between us now. "I said let me go." Bellamy slowly ordered me, the same acrimony dripping from each word.

Tasha was backing away and out of sight in no time, disappeared back into the lodge.

"Bells, calm down."

With a whole hell of a lot of force, she shrugged her way out of my hold, turning to look at me. "Stop telling me what to do. You are not my father. You are my trainer."

"That's funny," I shot back, resenting the fact that she would say something so hurtful, "I thought I was your friend too."

"Friends." She laughed. "Friends don't turn their backs on the people who care more about their health and well-being, in support of a piece of ass." She was hitting below the belt now.

"Hey!" I made her stop, along with frightening a few of the present novices. I walked straight up to where she defiantly stood. "You have made it clear that I don't get to talk to you like that, so the same goes the other way around Guardian Pearce."

Yes, I had instantly infuriated her even more. And now, we were fighting. She was hurt and angered by me, and I was hurt and angered by her.

"I think I'd be better off working with Janine for the next few hours." Bellamy offered, turning away.

"Janine is not on duty. You have a job here to do."

"Honestly," She did not turn around to reply, "I'd rather be doing paperwork behind a bloody desk right now."

As she started to walk off again, I was not going to let her just walk off and choose what she did or did not want to face. I put my arms back around her, preparing to turn her back towards the novices who were expecting her help during this course, but I had not anticipated her extra training with Bridgette and Janine. Bellamy had her leg wrapped around mine at the calf, and her ankle locked around mine. Without tremendous effort, she brought me down with one sweep of her leg, and thrust of her body as the side of her elbow sent me onto my back as it slammed hard into my ribs. Bellamy stood over me, looking down at me, and I could see the immense hurt that she had felt earlier had grown by too much. How was I supposed to break through to her now? Her eyes sparked with what looked like white fire before a pair of arms was pulling her back. I moved to stand, seeing three more Guardians on their way over. One of them was Alberta Petrov.

BELLAMY:

Hell yes I was going to go after that Moroi skank. Well, I probably would've stuck to just scaring her, but royal or not, I was not about to let her get away with the things she had said. It was more than Tasha though. I was upset with Dimitri right now. I was right to be upset with him. First Tasha called Bridgette jealous, moving on then to threatening her. Dimitri did nothing. He stood back and let her say these things about the woman he claimed to once love. Before I could move any closer to Tasha, he had his arms around me, stopping me from moving. So, she was allowed to belittle me and Bridgette, but the minute I take a step closer to her, Dimitri is her big protector? This was not the first time he had done nothing, but I was going to make sure it was the last.

"Let me go!" I demanded he release me.

Everything after my demand became a blur, until I felt a pair of arms wrapped all the way around me, pulling me away from Dimitri, who was lying flat on his back. Had I done that to him? Had I just laid out Dimitri Belikov? Part of me was thrilled to know that I could do it. The other part was horrified. It was Eddie I realized, as he spoke low in my ear. It was Eddie Castille who was holding me so tight that I thought I might stop breathing.

"Bellamy, baby," He soothed, holding me with both arms, "stop. Please. You cannot physically attack another Guardian like this. Come and sit down. Come here baby." The calm of his voice was what I remembered it to be. It was soft, full of emotion, and so calm. He pulled me farther away from Dimitri, and the tense conflict, separating us into two different corners as he held my hands, saying something about me not lighting Dimitri or anyone else on fire.

My eyes shot up to him as the words he said came together in my head, making sense. I opened my mouth to speak to him, but had no chance to ask questions.

"Belikov! Pearce!" I heard Alberta shouting loudly as she moved from the opposite end of the field, at the speed of a full blown tempest. "Get to the war room! Now!" Two more Guardians stood with the novices, calming them, and deciphering how to continue their combat training as Dimitri and I both made our way to the makeshift war room being used on the third floor. On my way to getting chewed out by the St. Vladimir's Head Guardian, I pulled out the cell phone I carried, dialing one number that could help to cool me off a bit more, so that I didn't take another swing at Dimitri, or say anything I shouldn't to Alberta. Bridgette's ultimate advice after calming me down, and thanking me for standing up for her against Tasha, was to 'apologize'. Seriously?

"You are seeing what you want to see, Bells." She spoke quietly. "Please apologize to Dimitri. He is your friend, whether you see it or not. Make up with him."

I hung up just as Alberta opened the door to me, waiting still on Dimitri, who was still hopefully on his way. When he did show up a few minutes later, he looked weary, and contrite. The fact that Bridgette told me to apologize to him was only making things worse. This was not all my fault, so I would not be blamed.

Still….

DIMITRI:

After calling Bridgette, I had to face Alberta. Stan Alto and Giselle Perry had taken over the course that Bellamy and I had spent so much time putting together. We had designed the course together, which made it even harder to give up, but I could not think about that right now.

"What is going on with you two?" Alberta was yelling before the doors were closed, and all other Guardians were out of earshot. The rumors of the fight between me and Bellamy would already be forming. "You never fight with each other."

Bellamy and I said nothing to each other, or in defense of our behavior, so Alberta went on yelling.

"You both know better than to ever fight in front of students. I want an answer. What were you thinking?" She grew more and more incensed as we both continued to stay silent about the reasons behind our fighting. "Neither of you has anything to say? Fine. If you are going to act like…"

"Bellamy." I turned, attempting to appeal to her.

"Don't." She held up her hand. "Do not try to mollify me, and do not go on defending that …"

"As I was saying," Alberta cut us both off, "if you are get into childish fights, like novices, then I am going to treat you like novices." She moved straight over to the chairs we sat in. "Hand over your weapons." She gave the order once, holding her hands out to us.

"Alberta, you don't actually think we would…"

"I don't know what to think of you two right now." Her head lowered. "All I know is that this is not like either of you." I heard Bridgette saying the same thing in my head again. "And, until whatever this dispute you two are having is resolved, you will each hand over your weapons."

I did as she ordered, watching Bellamy disarm shortly after.

"You will stay in this room until I am sure you have come to an appropriate solution." Alberta locked all of our weaponry in the drawer of the desk she used, promptly exiting the room, and locking the door behind her. So now we were locked in this room together, not speaking to each other, and seeing her in pain caused or aided in any way by me, was killing me. I moved across to the opposite side of the room where the coffee was kept full and strong. I poured two cups full, and added the right amounts of cream and sugar to one before slowly making my way back to the unreasonable fight I was having with my friend.

"Here. One cream two sugars?" I knew how she liked her coffee these days, setting one of the cups on the table in front of her. Expecting her to take it, I guess I should've expected less under the current hostility between us. "You're going to need your strength if we are going to go another ten rounds."

Another ten rounds was a likely possibility, but if I could prevent a few of those rounds, we might both be better off. I first contemplated sitting on the couch across from the one Bellamy occupied. At least I would be comfortable while we sank deeper into this struggle. Instead, I found myself crossing the battle lines, literally stepping across the invisible lines we had drawn in the room. I would do as Bridgette instructed. I had to challenge Bellamy, using what I felt against her. I knelt to the side of her legs, careful to keep a shred of distance between us.

"Bellamy," I suddenly felt the need to prostrate myself before her, "we are supposed to be talking about the trouble between us."

I saw her furrow her brow as I spoke, indicating that she was at least listening.

"I have nothing to say to you. Accept that."

We were going to be locked in this room for hours at this rate.

"No." I refused her, getting her to open up. "I accept that you are not angry. You are hurt. And, I have to think that you may in fact want to set me on fire for all of the things that I have done. But I do not accept that you have nothing to say. The one thing I know for sure, is that you are a bad liar." I informed her. "You have plenty to say to me."

"You really do not want to hear any of it."

"Is there anything you can say to me that is worse than calling me a hypocrite, a liar, unreliable, or untrustworthy in your eyes? Can you really do worse than telling me that you doubt my friendship and loyalties to you?"

She stood from the couch, walking a few feet away from me. I was getting through to her. Arguing back with her was starting to work.

"Bells," I got her attention even more by using her nickname, "please. Whatever you have to say, I want to hear it. Please."

Still she said nothing, but her arms, once crossed over her chest had now moved to wrap around her core. She stayed in place, turned away from me. Just like Bridgette, Bellamy could throw off the strongest of my emotions, causing me to stay in flux.

"Bellamy, say something. Say anything. I can't fight with you anymore." I moved to sit on the couch that she had occupied moments before, still watching her, to catch any sign from her. "My heart cannot take this, Bells." I whispered. "Fighting with you feels so wrong."

And then I saw it. I caught the slightest lift in her shoulders. I had not meant to make her feel worse. It had been so long since I'd seen Bellamy Pearce cry. Actually, I had not seen her cry since she visited my room back at St. Vladimir's, while she and Mason Ashford were going through their first breakup. That was also right after Bridgette and I had also dissolved our relationship status.

"You said nothing." Bellamy spoke to me after all this time. "You did nothing." After all of the silence and animosity from her, I got her to talk. She was accusing me of…saying and doing nothing. I needed more information. I stood from the couch, not yet brave enough to go to her yet, but I was destroyed by her tears.

"Tasha." I should've known. Natasha Ozera had become a volatile subject between us lately. Bellamy was protecting Bridgette, and even me, and Tasha, being just as stubborn as Bellamy, was also unwilling to give up what she wanted. This put me in the middle of too many women.

Bellamy spun around to me, her eyes starting to show the red lines from her tears, and her cheeks becoming blotchy.

"You allowed her to say those vile things about me, and to me." She accused. "And for what purpose? So that you don't look bad in her eyes? Is it to get into her… good graces?" She rephrased any language that might do more damage between us.

I lowered my eyes, feeling both contrite and a bit besieged and exasperated by her last assumption.

"Don't give me that look." She pressed on. "We both know that there is only one thing that woman wants from you, and it has very little to do with your awesome Guardian skills."

I kept my control, not letting her see that while I had gotten to her, she was also getting to me. She was pushing me back on purpose, and it was working. "If I told you that you and Bridgette are not the only people who do not want me to take the job with Tasha, would it surprise you?"

"No." She replied. "Who…"

I figured she might question who else might be against the decision, but I had absolutely no intention of discussing the fighting I had also been doing with Rose.

"It's not important." I said. "What is important to me, is through everything lately, you were my sanctuary. You are the person I go to for refuge. The place I find the most non-judgmental and unbiased-opinions, is with you. But I don't have that right now, and I can't think straight." I laughed shortly. "I miss you, Bells." I made my way in closer to her.

""I miss you too." She kept me at arm's length. "You have become one of my closest friends Dimitri, but when it comes to this issue of who you will stand by in non-combat, and allowing that woman to persecute or demean the people you claim you need in your life, I will stand my ground." Bellamy was firm in her decision. "I will not let you go down such a capricious, unsettling, and harmful path. It's wrong, and you are better than that." I had to admit, Bellamy was making some decent points. "And Tasha is… She is…"

"She is my friend too Bellamy. I have known her for a long time. She is my friend, just as Christian is yours."

She pursed her lips. "That truly says more than you may think." Bellamy stood back again, thinking about the relationship she and Christian shared only made her press harder. "The difference between them is, Christian has never tried to manipulate me into getting him pregnant, so that we are tied together forever, whether he actually loves me or not. Christian has also never tried to keep me under his control by emotionally influencing me, just to make some convoluted point to someone he is so obviously jealous of."

Okay, that was all true to more than one degree, and I could see more about the point Bellamy made. I could not argue much with her, and she knew it. Bellamy was not the only one who wanted me to see these things. Rose had also made some mention, albeit less bluntly, about Tasha's true intentions, but I was not willing to hear it. I was fighting with more than just Bellamy. Bellamy simply had the advantage of yelling louder. Clearly I needed to apologize to more people than just Bellamy. Bellamy's perception of others, and more importantly and currently her psychoanalysis of Tasha, was getting through now that we were talking again. I had to admit that there were things I was not seeing as clearly before this. I wanted to chuckle, thinking that Rose as well might be happy to hear that. Bridgette was right. Challenging Bellamy made her talk. It made her keep talking. But it did not lessen the harm done or the war of words.

"We can survive this argument." I searched for a sign that she might agree, but got very little from her. "Can't we?" I let my hand touch to her face, running my fingers down her cheek, but she took a step back away from me.

She was considering my optimism. "When I was back at St. Vladimir's, I was put into a troubling position. When I thought Mason had kissed another girl, I was told that the situation was not as it seemed." Bellamy said to me. "It was the girl who kissed my Mason, but what difference does it make that she kissed him? My belief was that he allowed it to happen." I sometimes enjoyed listening to her way of reasoning, and the way she held to an either black or white point of view. "Mason asked for my forgiveness too." Now I worried about what she might say next. "I told him that I needed time to think, to determine if and when I could forgive what I saw; what I thought I saw.'

"Bellamy," I beseeched, needing her to hear the other side of things still. Because up until this point she had not been willing to hear another side to our recent conflict, "you have to know that I did protect you from Tasha. When I found out what she said about you and Christian, I…Yuri got there first." I defended my own actions. "I made sure that Tasha knew her comments were inappropriate and far out of line."

"And during our Dhampir class earlier? You missed the mark. You protected her after she threatened Bridgette." I could feel the frustration in her pause. "I know that Bridgette is your ex-girlfriend , or just someone you are no longer shagging, but…"

"Bridgette is more than that, and you know it." I said, cutting her off. "I called her. I needed to talk to her after I had seen her niece fight the best I have ever seen her fight." I added in a truthful compliment. "Despite the fact that she was attacking me."

"I called her too." Bellamy admitted.

"I figured as much. She sounded too cavalier about some of the things I said. She advised me to apologize to you." I told Bellamy.

"She told me the same thing. She said that I should apologize because you are my friend, whether I can see it right now or not. Is she right?"

"Yes." I exhaled hard. "Yes, of course she is right. Bellamy, I am sorry for letting you down, for allowing you to think that I would not support you, protect you, or defend you.

"Okay." She said very simply. "But, I still need time. If we want things the way that they were, and if you want an honest apology, I want time on my own to consider all of this."

"Easier said than done." I made the comment. "We are stuck in this room together until we make up."

She only shrugged. "So we tell whoever we have to that we have kissed and made up." She made her way to the door, her hand lifted, preparing to knock.

"Wait."

"Do you have a better idea?" She asked, but I had nothing. I had only the hope that she might listen still. "Smile and look pretty Dimitri."

"Bellamy, I do not want some contrived friendship with you. You and I are no good at pretention." I had temporarily paused her actions. "You are my friend, and I am yours."

I was almost startled by her reaction as she turned and made her way back over to where I stood, waiting to see what would come next. She smiled, and it was the first smile I had seen from her in so long.

"You are important to me." I told her. "And, I will not let go without a fight."

And then, just as I had done to her, Bellamy ran her hand gently over my cheek.

"I would expect nothing less from you, Thor."

BELLAMY:

I was not sure what to think. I was not sure how I was supposed to feel now. Dimitri had been crystal clear about the way he felt about our friendship. He was in, and he had always been. But, I could not escape this stage of turmoil that I was feeling. I wanted to believe in the better side of things, especially between me and Dimitri, but it was difficult to see as clear as he did. Maybe Bridgette had been right. Maybe I was seeing things that were not there. Maybe I was too close to the situation to make an informed opinion. I did my best to consider both sides of the argument as I made my way down towards another room, this time to have possibly another fight with another friend. Eddie was sharing a room with Dean , and because of the hour, I was hoping to catch him before he went to sleep. I knocked on the hotel room door, not at all expecting Mason Ashford to open it, standing in front of me as speechless as me. Damn it, he was still so good looking. I swallowed hard, rocking back on my heels.

"I…" I struggled to speak. "I was looking for Eddie. I wanted to apologize to him for my behavior tonight." I sighed out of nervousness. "I wanted to thank him for…"

"Are you okay, Bellamy?" Mason caused me to stop talking, his voice as soft and compassionate as I had once known it to be. "Eddie said that you almost attacked Guardian Belikov. He also mentioned that you got into it pretty good with Natasha Ozera. Although, after she threatened Bridgette, I probably would've let you get at least one good swing in." He winked and I laughed. I could not help it. Mason was always so good at making me feel better, no matter the situation. It was nice to feel like he was still on my side.

"It is a long story." I told him. "But, I'm fine. Thank you for checking."

He smiled with that sweet shy smile that I had not seen in such a long time. "I think that I always will."

I smiled back at him just before we were separated from each other.

"Bellamy." Eddie stepped in between us, looking as though he expected us to get into another one of our loud fights.

I reacted, taking a step back, looking from one man to the other. Recalling the things that Eddie had quietly said earlier, while attempting to restrain me, I returned to my original path and purpose.

"We need to go for a short walk." I insisted, my smile fading as I yanked Eddie forward by the lower hem of his shirt.

"Always good when you are given a choice."

I heard Mason chuckle before he shut the door again.

Eddie walked fast, struggling a few times to keep up with me as I moved at my own swift focused pace down the same brightly lit corridor of rooms and lounges. Finally, I settled on an empty sitting room, making sure that my friend entered first before I walked in, closing the door, beginning my interrogation.

"What the hell do you know?" I demanded, coming off a little bit too defensive and hostile. But after the tense and emotional, unavoidable talk I'd also had with Dimitri, a little defensiveness should've been expected. I changed my approach as much as I could. "During the combat class, when you kept me from pummeling Dimitri, you mentioned that I… Well, you knew about…"

"About you being able to burn the village down?" He half-joked, but I was not up for jokes just yet.

"How do you know about that?"

"How is it even possible?"

"I asked you first."

Eddie relented. "How do you think?"

"Mason." I guessed correctly, turning back to the door. "I will kill him. How could he do this to me?"

"He did it to protect you." Eddie defended his friend. "I am protecting you too, Bells."

"No." I returned. "He never should have told you that. It's dangerous."

"Why shouldn't he have told me?"

"He should not tell anyone at all."

I saw Eddie tilt his head down a few degrees, his eyes taking on a more curious disposition.

"Don't you trust me?" He made his first attempt to move in closer to me, but I moved back another step.

"Should I?" I questioned. "Can I?"

"Of course you can." His hand reached out to me. "I would never use this kind of information to hurt you, or see you hurt Bellamy."

"And Mason?" I turned my back to him, but he approached anyway, his hands resting on my shoulders.

"Mason will protect you and your secrets Bellamy." He was certain. "Whether you are together or apart, he won't see you harmed because of what he knows."

Hearing that from Eddie also made me feel better. It was nice to think that I had him on my side still. That though, further set off the emotional bomb inside of me. I spun back around, throwing my arms around his back and shoulders, burying my face in his chest as I had an uncommon meltdown into tears. I hated to cry over my own stupidity or irrationality, and I especially hated to cry in the presence of those I wanted to be strong around. Today it had not only been Eddie, but Dimitri as well.

"Can we talk about you and your intense need to attack Guardian Belikov earlier?" The question was finally asked. "What was that all about? What could he possibly have done to evoke such a violent reaction out of you?" Eddie was way more understanding than I expected or deserved as we sat down together, my arms still wrapped around him.

As I started to complain, listing all of the crap that had been going on between me and Dimitri, all of the things that had caused my own distrust in others, and I even mentioned the loud and very aggressive argument between Bridgette and Tasha, all of my words became a flood of information, detailing everything I had done right and wrong.

"You are a Guardian Bellamy, not superhuman. Abnormal and phenomenal, but not superhuman." Eddie advised, attempting to soothe my nerves and emotional disturbance. "It is not your responsibility to fix everything, and you cannot have such extreme expectations to fix everyone." His head lowered as he continued to hold his arms around me. "But perhaps, you are looking at all of these situations as a defeat, and that is why you are reacting this way. I am so used to seeing you think through situations thoroughly before acting, but earlier, you acted without thinking at all."

As I found a sense of peace in my own head, much of what Eddie said, was making sense. As an outside party to my bad behavior, he sounded far more reasonable than I had in the last few days. And after clearer heads prevailed, his opinion on my conflict with Dimitri and Tasha, was to simply not allow anyone else to dictate who I could and could not trust in my life. After all, Dimitri had done nothing to truly warrant my distrust in him, other than help a friend.

"Do not take the problems of others onto yourself." Eddie advised as we made our way back down the hall. "Let Belikov and your aunt Bridgette work this out on their own."

I dropped off Eddie at his door again, but stopped as he took hold of my wrist before I could escape. The way he held tight, made me want to pull away immediately, but I resisted.

"Can I ask you a favor, Bells?" He was using that sweet tone of his.

"Anything."

His tone was sweet, but I had also never heard it so apprehensive.

"Mase is feeling a little used and neglected lately. Would you be willing to talk to him?"

I was not aware that one could feel both used and neglected, but I was sure that Eddie had to be joking.

"That is a lot to ask." I was set to refuse. "Mason broke my heart so that he could move on to Rose Hathaway when she returned."

"That isn't exactly what happened." He defended Mason.

"I can't. I don't think that I can make him feel better about whatever he is going through after our breakup. I'm not ready for that kind of thing."

Eddie was not happy with my refusal, but he understood. I was on my way back down to the lobby, looking for the other friend who had stuck by me. I spotted him across the room, and he smiled at me as though I were his favorite person in the world. As I entered further into the room, there were still many Moroi and Dhampir roaming around, preparing to either sleep for the coming day, or get in a few laps on the ski slopes. I spotted Dimitri to my left, meeting his eyes, and making a point to stop and talk to him. I would not let Tasha Ozera influence my friendship with him. Unfortunately, she made it to him before me. I stayed a few feet back, unseen but able to eavesdrop just enough.

DIMITRI:

I was hoping for a few quiet dull moments before the second shift I had picked up started. That would clearly not be in the plan that life currently had for me. After finishing a somewhat tense conversation with Rose, who had also been acting out of sorts since discovering that I had been offered a job by Tasha, I also spotted Bellamy and Tasha enter the lobby from opposite ends of the room. I prayed for peace. I looked over to Bellamy, hoping to see some sort of clue as to where she and I stood. She smiled. She smiled and it did give me hope. I did not get the chance to respond before she disappeared into the sea of people still awake. I waited in place, half-expecting to see Bellamy appear, but as I turned the other way, I practically jumped back, started by Tasha now standing in front of me. The look on her face was sympathetic, but her arms were crossed and her voice was harsh.

"I heard that the two of you got into a physical fight." Tasha referred to the fight that had occurred between me and Bellamy.

I nodded. "Bellamy and I were in a small altercation." I confirmed.

"Is she being punished? You are a Guardian."

"So is she."

"Isn't that sort of behavior against the rules?"

"The fight was not all Bellamy's fault." I defended my friend.

"She should at the very least be put on some sort of probation. She isn't a full Guardian yet. Her age…"

"She has been through enough." I took a small step back, making an attempt to figure out why Tasha was so against Bellamy after all this time. What had happened? They had been friendly and on good terms when Bellamy was still a novice. What changed?

"Oh Dimka, after all that she has put you through," Tasha sounded more sympathetic now, "it would be understandable and only fair of you to let her go. Distance yourself from her."

I could feel my brow furrowing, and the sides of my mouth lower. "Tasha, I will always defend Bellamy. I will always be on her side. We have had our share of tense moments, but she has stuck by me during hard times too. She was by me even after Bridgette left. Bellamy is my friend, and that will not change."

Tasha sighed, obviously vexed by my choice. To her, I was putting my Guardian friend before a Moroi, and that went against our doctrines. She went on talking for another several minutes, but I was no longer listening, drowning out the sounds around me as I searched for Bellamy. She was sitting up high on a ledge, used mostly for decoration in the room. She was sitting right beside Yuri Tverskaya, and they were both sitting very close. In fact, the two were close and high enough that they were not hiding the attraction they had for each other. Yuri's arm was blatantly wrapped around Bellamy's waist, and the two were leaning in close as they talked.

Her eyes moved around the room again, and her neck twisted from one end to the other, settling again on me.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed from all the way across the room. "I'm so sorry."

I felt everything within me lift. I managed to see exactly how she had climbed onto her ledge, and I made my way over and up the scaffolding that needed to be scaled in order to reach the ledge Bellamy and Yuri occupied.

"I will leave you two to talk." Yuri said as I took his place, his arm removing itself from Bellamy slowly.

Her arms circled my ribcage as soon as I sat, and her head lay against me. I carefully held her against me, feeling better that we would be alright.

"Want to explain what you are doing up here?" I peered down towards the floor.

"Surveillance." She half-joked.

"I was under the strict impression that you hated heights."

"I do." I felt her laugh against me. "But, there is far more to see from this angle than from down there." She paused for only a few more seconds. "I heard what you said to Tasha down there. Thank you."

"I am sorry we fought too Bellamy." I glanced down again. "Do you think we can climb down from here and find a quiet place to talk before we are both back on duty?"

She agreed without any hesitation, both of us carefully standing and moving back down the scaffolding. Bellamy was behind me a foot or so when Tasha joined me again, her arm linking with mine.

"You do not need to defend Bellamy or Bridgette Pearce." She spoke, and I think it was loud enough for Bellamy to hear as she kept her slight distance. "After what Bridgette did… After she broke your heart…"

"Bellamy is not Bridgette." I did still defend both women. I stopped, standing face to face with Tasha now as Bellamy moved subtly behind me, going still to find a more quiet space for her and I to sit.

BELLAMY:

"You are looking much calmer and less irritable." I heard Yuri say softly as he discovered my hiding spot while Dimitri stood talking, or rather reprimanding Tasha. I could tell that Yuri was still wary of where my demeanor might reside after I'd spent more time talking with Dimitri, but I tried to reassure him as best as I could.

"Reading does make me far less irritable most days." I lifted the book that I had been carrying with me slightly.

"What are you…" Yuri took a look at the book title in my hands as he sat beside me. "The Art of War?" He questioned my reading choice with a slight smirk.

"Don't sound so surprised." I lowered the book for a few moments while we sat together. "There are some calming tips within the insightful Philosophy."

"I do not disagree with you there." He surprised me, turning over the pages to the section I had been reading. He made a humming sound and his lips pursed together.

I took a deep breath as I watched him out of the corner of my eye, hiding as much of my own attraction as I could.

"Recklessness and a swift temper." He mentioned one of the lines that I had been reading. "That sounds about right lately."

"My temper was provoked."

My book was then completely taken from me as Yuri scrolled through more pages.

"And here." He scanned another page, pointing to more lines that reflected my impulsive and violent behavior the last few days and nights.

"You have read this book before." I assumed correctly, and he nodded.

"Once or twice." He replaced the book back to my hands. "As I said, I agree with its calming tips and nature. But, I wonder if many of the tips might not be of better use to you, outside of a personal battle?"

I rolled my eyes, then setting the book to the side.

"Okay." The man at my side breathed heavily. "I can certainly take a hint." And clearly, he could. "Let's change the subject gracefully." He offered, his index finger slowly tucking a few loose strands of hair behind my ear, causing a beautiful chill to ripple up my arms. "How late do you work tonight?"

"I am off at ten-thirty." I revealed my schedule. "Janine and Dimitri are torturing me together at this point, and have decided to test my awesome skills with other Academy Guardians now." I groaned and Yuri chuckled. "I think that Stefan is planning on putting me through as much hell for as long as he can while I'm on duty."

"Do you have plans after you are off duty?" His voice suddenly sounded seductive, and it made me feel more vulnerable under his eyes.

"Tonight?"

"Yes. Tonight." He confirmed. "I was seriously thinking about settling in to watch a movie in one of the lounges, but I find myself without a friendly face to cuddle in with me."

"I find that hard to believe." I returned. "I'm sure there are plenty of people who would like to spend time with you." And of course, I knew that there were at least three female Guardians I could name off the top of my head, who would have enjoyed Yuri's company.

"Then there are not a lot of people that I want to spend time with." He corrected. "There is one."

I turned my head to him, his eyes still staring back at me with attraction and fascination.

"Me? Why?"

I swear I heard his eyes roll. "We have been through this argument before Bellamy. I like you." Yuri admitted to me again. "It is a simple fact. True," He stopped me from any further argument before I started, "you are still barely under the age laws, but I do also know how to use the self-control I have."

I scoffed, and Yuri lifted an eyebrow playfully.

"I do." He repeated. "We can hang out and still keep enough distance over the next few days or weeks." He stood up. "Though, if you are worried about what other Guardians say about me and my reputation…"

I stood up with him, my hand touching to his shoulder. "If I were afraid of a bad boy with a reputation, do you really think I would have spent any time at all with Jesse Zeklos or Christian Ozera?" I questioned Yuri, receiving a genuine smile now.

"How about I pick you up at your hotel room around eleven-thirty, and we find a movie to watch in one of the lounges?"

"That sounds like a good plan." I said as Yuri walked me towards the elevators. Dimitri met me as the doors opened, separating me and Yuri again as we were both now on duty.

I was right. Stefan Chase made a point to test me and put my body, and mind through hell for as long as he could while I ran drills and did rounds with him for too many hours. Once able to check out both mentally and physically for the next few hours, I seriously reconsidered a second shift as I rounded a sharp corner, watching as Mason Ashford came to a stop, allowing his group of friends to run ahead as I tried to make my way past him.

"Hey Bells." He was clearly in a good mood after his run. "I was hoping I might run into you. I was wondering if we could sit and talk for a few minutes."

"Talk about what?" I ignored the puppy dog eyes he gave, the eyes that once made my heart flutter. "What could you have to say now, that you were unable to say when you wrote me a letter to break up with me?" I was being very defensive, but I was not about to let my guard down and get hurt by him all over again. "That was a coward move by the way. Unless you have finally decided that you want to be honest with me." I kept walking until we hit the front doors to the lodge as they automatically opened.

"What have I been dishonest about?" As my defensiveness grew, so did his. The good mood he had been in was rapidly being replaced with our own animosity.

"You are not as innocent as you come off Mason Ashford."

"I could say the exact same about you Bellamy." Mason noted in returned.

I faced him, my eyes feeling red hot as my emotions fueled the fire within me. I had to fight to keep it under control. I had to show that I was above all of this. "I have never claimed to be innocent. I've also never claimed to be naïve, so do not treat me like I am." Every part of me was crying out for an escape, pushing me harder to find one. "When you are ready to discuss the truth about our breakup, maybe you and I can sit down and have a civil conversation. Until then…" I quieted, my eyes darting inside to see Eddie and Dean waiting on their partner in crime, "Until then, I am running late. I have plans with someone else tonight, and I need to go change."

"Plans?" Mason caught up as I attempted to walk away, entering into the lobby. "With Guardians?"

"With one Guardian." I wanted him to know that I was not sitting idly by, watching as he fawned over Rose Hathaway. I was going to be a spectator to their unfolding love story anymore. "Yuri and I are going to hang out and watch a movie together while we have some free time."

"Yuri?" Mason was desperately trying to place the name of the Guardian I was spending time with. "Guardian Tverskaya? He asked you out? On a date?"

"I came to an abrupt halt. "Because it would be so impossible for you to believe that any other guy might be interested in me after you broke up with me?"

"He's a Guardian Bellamy." Mason made his first flawed argument.

"What a coincidence." I shot back. We were arguing again. "So am I."

Mason faltered for the right words. "You know what I mean. He's older. You are still seventeen. Guardian or not, you're…"

"Don't be so pedantic. Yuri and I are friends." I held my hand up to him. "And I am unaware of why my friendship with Yuri should be any of your concern. You decided you didn't want to be with me anymore, and I decided that I am going to be okay with that." I refused to let Mason say anything more. His hand reached out just as I was able to slip far enough out of the way. I was mad at him all over again. I was exhausted and I was mad. But, I had forty-five minutes before Yuri and I would spend time watching a movie together for a few hours. That had excited me before, but now I was clouding anticipation and excitement with my frustration and anger for Mason.

"Trouble with the boyfriend?"

So close. I was so close then, to reaching and escaping into the quiet peace of my room after my run in with Mason. I was close to not having any interference from Tasha Ozera. But, after Dimitri had defended me and Bridgette, I should've known that she was bound to make another appearance and snide comment. She sounded so smug and hateful. The look in her eyes said that she meant to cause more emotional scarring.

"He's not my boyfriend." I had to say the words out loud again.

"That's right." I hated smugness in other people, and Tasha was right there to make me feel as small as possible. "Mason Ashford gave you up to run off with Rose Hathaway." She smirked. "And why is that again? What do you think that she has that you don't? What could he possibly see in her that he cannot see in you?"

I scoffed and then smiled. "Probably the same thing that Dimitri sees in Bridgette. The same thing he will never see in you." I had shut her up for a brief few seconds before she continued to follow me. "What do you want from me Tasha? I just got off duty."

"For Dimitri's sake," she said, and I had to stop, "I am here to apologize to you, for the things that I have said."

"Oh, I get it." I stared back at her, my arms coming to rest across my chest. "The translation of your sentence is that threatening Bridgette, and calling me the whore in Christian's bed has catapulted you out of Dimitri Belikov's good graces, and now you are trying to show him that you are a better person." I turned away from her and kept walking. "I do not for a second believe your apology, or that you are any kind of better person."

Tasha was at my back still, following, trying to make good on the apology Dimitri told her to deliver.

"I think that you are vile, duplicitous, deceitful, and nowhere near good enough for Dimitri. That man is so far out of your league." I had her stumped and silenced as I reached the door to my room. Or at least I thought I'd had her silenced.

She was shifting timidly and her eyes were darting from one side to the other. She was intimidated by me. She knew I was right, but still she fought on. "It is a good thing that Dimitri feels differently than you."

"Does he really? Or is that what you need to tell yourself to get through those lonely nights?"

Tasha looked like she might scream or hit me. I readied myself for both reactions.

"It is pointless trying to reason with you." She spoke through her gritted teeth.

I held back a laugh. "On the contrary, I'm actually a very reasonable person Natasha. I am probably one of the most reasonable people you will meet."

""Dimitri believes the same lie." Her words were more facetious than acerbic at this point. "I don't think I agree with him. You may be reasonable most of the time, but not when it comes to Bridgette."

Tasha had a valid point. Going after Bridgette in any way, made me a less reasonable person, and I was likely to rain down hell on those who went after my family.

"You are so adamant about seeing Dimitri and Bridgette back together, that…"

"No." I halted her new accusation. "I certainly do not want that."

"Right."

"I don't." I repeated. "I don't want to see those two back together if it doesn't make them both happy. I want to see Dimitri with someone who makes him a better stronger person."

"I do that for him."

"No." I refuted her claim. "You don't. And, I will not let him settle. You can't love him the way he should be unconditionally loved, and he will never be able to satisfy whatever twisted path you take."

I was running on a limited amount of time, and I was thankful that Yuri called, rather than meeting me at my room. Instead, we were going to meet in the lobby. And after a forty minute session of deciding what I should wear, and actually getting dressed, I was finally exiting the elevator, returned to a slightly less crowded room, to see Yuri waiting. He was in conversation with Belen and Stan, so after making eye contact, I made my way over to the coffee bar to wait.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to make it." His voice was upbeat as he soon occupied the seat next to me,

I spun around to face him, and brightened as he smiled. "I got held up. Mason and Tasha decided to stop me before I could escape their remarkably unnecessary comments." I mentioned, and instantly spotted curiosity clawing its way into Yuri's stare.

Hoping I might say more, he tilted his head, waiting. When I said nothing, he asked, "Ashford giving you more trouble?"

"It's nothing I can't handle." I shrugged. "He decided to voice his opinion about you and me hanging out together."

"It's none of his business." Yuri was as defensive about the subject as me.

"Which is exactly what I said when I responded to his unwanted and unwarranted words."

Yuri smiled shyly again, standing as he waited for me to join him.

I currently had a crush on a Guardian, and that Guardian currently reciprocated the same crush on me. My attraction to Yuri Tverskaya was much more intense than I had initially recognized. As we sat together, laughing, joking, and challenging one another, we also flirted and hinted less subtly wheile alone. Every time our hands brushed against each other, every time he made my temperature rise when he turned to look at me, and every time that I purposefully leaned onto him or intentionally reached across him, made all of these fires of attraction burn hotter. Yuri made a promise to keep his distance while I was still under eighteen, but part of me wondered if it was really possible for him… for me to do that. After watching a movie together, Yuri was taunting me, teasing over our current video game challenge.

"You killed me." He said. "I can't believe you just shot my character in the head."

"I thought you were one of the zombies." I tried to tell him. "I'm sorry. We can start over. You have an extra life."

"I don't want to start the game over. I want to sit here and think about the fact that you sacrificed me for your own character."

"You're being a bit dramatic, don't you think?" I played his game, soon realizing that his bad sportsmanship and petulant behavior was not really the way he felt at all. I ran my fingers down his bicep. "What can I do to make it up to you, Yuri?" I flirted my way back, and sure enough had his attention returned. He was about to give some flirtatious response before the two of us separated, listening as all hell started breaking loose outside of the lounge we sat in.

"What is going on?" We turned, watching as Guardians filed quickly down the hall, all rushing in one direction.

"I don't know." Yuri stood, taking my hands with his, and bringing me along with him as we made our way into the rushing crowd.

"Chase!" Yuri ran, catching up to Stefan, his hand still linked tight with mine.

I listened as the two talked and Yuri questioned the loud reaction occurring.

Recently, after the Badica massacre, the Drozdov family and members of their staff chose to conduct a night of bereavement and mourning for the sudden loss of their family friends. Many knew that the Badica's and the Drozdov's were tight as far as friendships and alliances went in our world. The holiday gathering was both a respectful gesture and a dumb idea, considering the state of Strigoi attacks. The attack that occurred the night of the Drozdov get together, was brutal and violent. It was also coordinated. And now Moroi were even more scared and on edge. In fact, they were not just scared. They were threatening a revolt. They were threatening to fight. And, as many of us Guardians filed into the ballroom where Moroi were debating magic and fighting, it was Tasha Ozera I heard speaking at the podium again, calling for a proactive strike, a call to arms for Moroi. The atmosphere of the room was on edge and hostile, mostly due to Tasha Ozera and her vey precarious words. Her opinion was met with the resistance it needed, and the resistance many of us hoped for. But, as my eyes scanned the room, I saw some who were in agreement with Tasha. This was a particularly sensitive yet political matter in the room, and I hoped it kept the resistance it needed to keep Moroi out of the field.

"Is she insane?" I tried keeping my voice and tone low.

As I scanned the room again, my eyes met with Mason's again. I should not have been surprised by the fascination he had for the things Tasha was saying, but his fascination quickly twisted into outrage and contempt as he noticed where I stood with Yuri across the room. He sat with his arm around Rose Hathaway and Eddie on his other side. His brow lifted in question to me, and I only now noticed that somewhere along the timeline of walking into this conference room, and standing alongside fellow Guardians, Yuri's hand had since let go of mine, allowing his arm to wrap my waist while his hand rested now at my hip, keeping me close and protected by him. This was what Mason glared at with such disdain. The nerve of him, I thought to myself. He was allowed to drape himself over his new girlfriend, but I could barely stand near Yuri or any other man without being made to feel guilty? I shook my head in disbelief, seriously considering staying put, but I also grew tired of the loud debates. I took a step to the side.

"I can't be here right now." I said to Yuri. "I cannot listen to this rubbish."

Yuri let his hand drop as I walked away, out of the room, and into the empty lobby, hoping things would soon settle down.

"So, I have to assume your date went well." Mason used as much animosity as he could muster in his statement, joining me outside of the conference room.

"It wasn't a date." I informed him. "And again, you do not get to be concerned with that part of my life anymore."

"I get to be concerned about you Bellamy." His tone softened and he stood closer behind me. "We are still friends."

"Are we?" I spun around.

He looked hurt and slighted that I might not consider him a friend.

"Fine." I gave in, hoping it might end the conversation. "We are friends."

I had no luck in ending this somewhat pithy conversation. I tensed as Mason sat down beside me. We sat silently, listening to the disputes going on still.

"She certainly has a way with words." Mason started talking about Tasha, and honestly it eased my hostility. Talking about Tasha with him was easier than talking about Yuri.

"Stupid words that spark dangerous beliefs." I came back. "She is going to get people killed. She is going to incite anarchy. We have enough bad shit to deal with right now." My eyes lifted, and my attention moved to the door as others started to file out. I saw Mia Rinaldi walk out and she looked closer to a zombie than Moroi. She looked broken as she sat on her own.

"Poor Mia." I referred to the tragedy of loss she was experiencing.

"Mia wants to fight." Mason informed me.

Surprised? Nope. Outraged? One-hundred percent.

"Guardian ranks suffer enough because of Strigoi." I stood back up, hovering over Mason as I tried to lecture him again on the dangers of our society. "We don't need Moroi going out and getting themselves killed on top of all of this. And you," I turned off the lecture and implored his better judgement, "if you are taking any of what Tasha Ozera had to say seriously,… please be smarter than that Mase."

"Christ Bellamy, what makes you think …"

"I know you." I cut off his denial. "I know that look in your eyes, honey. You see victory where there needs to be strategy and a solid plan first. You see freedom before chaos. Rein it in."

"Someone has to do something."

"We are."

"No." He shook his head. "Not enough." Mason pointed out Mia. "People are still dying needlessly. We have to do more. I overheard a few Guardians say that you may have located a few dens not far from here where Strigoi might be hiding out."

"Mason, you know that I cannot confirm that to you." I maintained, knowing that I also could not deny the information.

"So it's true?" He gathered. "Bells, we have to do more. We have to…"

"We don't need to do anything." I made his status and even my own pretty clear. "Leave it to the Courts and Councils to decide on a plan before action is taken."

Mason gave me a look that I hated seeing from him the last few days. It was a look that said he knew me better, and maybe he did but I was not about to show my hand and let him carry that edge over me.

"When did you become so cautious?" He scoffed crossly. "A few months ago, you would've been the first in line to go into battle."

He was right. A few months ago, I was headstrong enough to think the answers were so much easier.

"I stopped being reckless and willful about life when I actually faced the enemy eye to eye." I was not sure if it was the right choice, but I told Mason about the Strigoi I had faced in Berlin.

"It is so much harder and more complicated than we are taught and trained for at the Academy. I honestly wish sometimes that there was more training involved or offered after graduation."

Sure enough, telling Mason about killing Strigoi was a bad move, as it only fueled the bloodlust and natural desire to do what we were trained to do. This was bad. After talking to Tasha, Mason and Mia had started to discuss fighting, Christian was apparently talking about it to others now too, and as if all of that was not bad enough, I had to listen to Mason go on about me and my training, and how if I could do the things I had done, then so could he.

"You are not ready Mase." Each word only stimulated the antipathy between the two of us. "And as far as Mia Rinaldi is concerned," I went on despite our growing resentment, "If I have to, I'll be the first one to give her a wake-up call and let her know why she is never going to be allowed to go out and fight."

We were fighting back and forth again, and this time it took our mutual hostage negotiator a longer amount of time to separate us, settling the two of us down. Even after we were pulled to our separate corners, and as others began filing out of the room, still debating the issues at hand, I felt as if the majority of tension was solely directed onto me and Mason.

"When I suggested that you two should talk, I did not mean so angrily and in public." Eddie reprimanded both of us, practically holding us apart.

"I don't want to lose you Mase. Have I not lost enough of you as it is?" If Mason knew me better than I could currently admit, then I knew him more than he was willing to admit to. He was so concentrated on this issue of novices and Moroi fighting, that it never occurred to him that I might use his feelings to my own advantage. We may have been at odds, and we might no longer be a couple anymore, but I could still play the heartstrings of Mason Ashford in any direction I needed to. I did not like doing it if I could avoid it, but it was the only way that I was going to keep him safe and from joining Natasha Ozera's merry band of marching idiots.

"You are not going to lose me Bells." Mason spoke back to me, that softer more emotional tone returning as he closed the distance between us, pushing Eddie back out of the way. He took my hands and sat back down.

"Promise me, Mason." I implored the man. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Promise me that you are not going to follow Tasha on some foolish path to battle before you are finished training." He kept quiet, so I pushed him to answer. "Mase honey, promise me." I pulled my hand up to his face, "Please."

"Sure Bells." He said, and I figured it was the best I was going to get under the circumstances.

As I separated myself from Mason, I looked around the lobby that had now become more crowded than the ballroom. I saw more people mingling, all discussing the big issues at hand, Moroi wondering how they would stay safe, and Guardians all trying to reassure and appease everyone. One face I did not see was Yuri's. He was nowhere to be found. After leaving him to listen to everything Tasha said, I had not seen him exit with other Guardians.

"I think I saw him making his way to the elevators." I spun around to see Stefan Chase looking at me with suspicion, and I knew why.

"Who?" I tried my best to sound a shred more innocent, but Stef only smirked.

""Tverskaya.

"Thanks, but I was actually looking for Belikov." I lied, but since I had not seen Dimitri exit either, I could fake my way through this all too revealing conversation with another inquisitive Guardian.

"That way." Stefan pointed down one of the halls. "He was dealing with some of the novices and their questions."

I smiled, turning then to walk away. There was no way I could make it to the bank of elevators without piquing more interest in Stefan and possibly other Guardians, so I was going the long way around, taking the stairs to the last floor I had seen Yuri on, and the lounge we had been in. He wasn't in the lounge, and he wasn't in any of the strategy rooms that were also busy with planning. After making it halfway back to my own room, I decided to make a quick run to Yuri's room. I was disappointed that he had left without any sign or word. I knocked, and was only partly surprised when he answered. Partly surprised, but more disappointed.

"I was kind of hoping you weren't here." I was trying not to stare at the fact that he'd had time to change from the jeans and t-shirt he wore, to just a simple pair of long cotton pants. His bare chest was a big distraction.

I received a more nonplussed look in return to my statement.

"You left without saying anything." I clarified. "I thought I might see you again after that ridiculous meeting let out."

"I saw you sitting down there holding hands with Mason Ashford."

"So?"

Again, he seemed bemused as I cavalierly blew off my interaction with Mason.

"So I found it difficult to sit and watch you holding hands with him again. If you have decided to start your relationship with him up again…"

Son of a bitch, I thought silently. Was he under the impression that I had left the meeting to find or be with Mason? Was he jealous? I put my palms to his chest, pushing him backwards, back into his room. Yuri did not have the room to himself, but his roommate, whoever it happened to be, was currently involved in the crisis down stairs. I figured we were safe enough talking inside.

"Stop." I demanded, halting his overactive imagination.

"Bellamy." Yuri tried again to voice his assumptions.

"No." I refused to let him believe imagination over the truth. "I am not back with or planning on being back in any sort of romantic situation with Mason, and I sure as hell am not…" I stopped myself from arguing with Yuri. I had done enough arguing with Mason. "Mason still cares for me." I decided honesty was the better policy in this situation, and Yuri sat, disappointment read on his face. "I was using the fact that he does still care. I was using the shred of leverage I still have with him to try and convince him to see reason. Tasha has him and others under her enthrall, convinced that they can walk out of here and kill Strigoi without any sort of plan or proper training." I explained to him. "I may not be his girlfriend anymore, but I would never want Mason to put himself in danger. All this talk of fighting and going into the face of danger has me on edge, and him chomping at the bit. Part of our job is to prevent Dhampir and Moroi from getting hurt. I was trying to do my job." I moved a few steps closer, sitting next to him as he listened to what I was saying.

"You cannot get jealous when you see me talking to my friend."

"He is not just your friend Bellamy." Yuri made his own opinion clear. "He is the guy that you were very much in love with not too long ago."

I gave a nod, lowering my eyes in thought. "He is also the same guy who broke my heart because he did not like that I was not willing to put being a Guardian on hold for him. He left me because I made it to where I am before he could."

Yuri looked more like he understood the delicate situation now.

"Yuri, our situation is complicated enough." I told him, also recalling the look on Stefan's face when he thought he knew more about me and Yuri. "I might remind you that you are not supposed to be jealous, but I want to believe that you already know that. You were the one who said you have the willpower enough to keep this distance between us."

"Our situation." Yuri stood, lowering his eyes at me, and it was even hotter than the lip pursing thing he did every now and then. "So, you admit that there is something between us."

"Of course there is." I returned. "I'm not so daft that I don't recognize that, but …"

"But, I shouldn't be jealous of Mason."

"Right." I agreed

"Because I have no reason to be jealous?"

"Because you being jealous only adds suspicion in other people's heads." I stated, holding back what I had seen in Stefan's eyes.

"Of course." Yuri agreed, taking steps forward, moving closer to me. He was so much closer now, his hand moving around my waist, slowly pulling me closer to him.

I could feel the heat radiating off of his bare chest. I had to be smarter than I wanted to be. We both did.

"I should go before we get into trouble." I suggested. "And I really need to sleep before meeting Dimitri tomorrow. He and whichever Guardian hates me, have decided that I should work a double shift with him."

Yuri smirked, and I could see him holding back a laugh. I knew that he understood more of the fragility that stayed between me and Mason. He kissed my cheek.

"I will see you again soon Bellamy." We both separated as he walked me back to his door.

I knew something was wrong; terribly wrong. I could feel it in the deepest pit of my stomach as my phone woke me up an hour and a half before I even needed to consider getting up or hitting the snooze button on my alarm. Before answering I did not think to glance at the called ID. It was Dimitri on the opposite end, very politely asking me to get down to the lobby. I could hear the fear in his voice, as much as he tried to disguise it. He was in the lobby with other Guardians, sitting across from Tasha, who looked unstable ans weak for the first time since we'd met. She was shaking, unable to pull herself together. The other Guardians all looked perplexed and dangerously worried, all gathered around a handful of clipboards.

"Do you know where they are?" Tasha turned her head up to me as I began my approach towards Dimitri. "Do you know where my Christian is?"

"Christian is gone?"

Dimitri looked back at me with so much despair and uncertainty. "Can you give us any clue Bells? Do you know where he might've gone?"

I was going to need a lot more information. "I don't know." I felt bad, unable to give any information on the whereabouts of my friend.

I did however have more questions of my own; questions that were temporarily put on hold as Janine Hathaway joined the state of emergency, bringing with her another somewhat familiar face. Christian's girlfriend, Vasilisa Dragomir was equally as worried as me and Tasha.

"Did Christian Ozera say anything to you Bellamy?" Janine interrogated me now. "Anything at all?"

"Nothing." I told her. "I haven't spoken to Chris since the night that I arrived."

"Bellamy?" Vasilisa said my name, making her way to me. "You're Bellamy Pearce?" She confirmed as I nodded. "You are Mason's…"

"I am." I did not want to hear the end of her description of what I now was to Mason.

"If not Christian, maybe Mason said something to you? Did he say anything?" She was hopeful that Mason and I might have spoken.

"Mase?" I quietly questioned Dimitri and Alberta as she too hoped I might know more. "Is Mason missing?"

Dimitri gave a level nod, and I exhaled heavily. My chest was starting to hurt.

"I should not have said anything." I voiced too loud, lowering my head, and gaining the interest of everyone around me.

"Bells." I heard, but ignored the entreaty.

I sat down on the couch to my left, feeling as though I might start to shake as much as Tasha seemed to be doing. Both Christian and Mason had run off and there was a good chance that it was my fault.

"Why didn't you tell me about Mason?" I asked as Dimitri sat down beside me, his hands covering mine as I could not keep them still. "Why didn't you tell me that he was gone?"

I did not want to worry you if I could avoid it."

"Job well done." I used my most sardonic tone, but Dimitri shrugged it off with no effort at all.

"Bells, what did you mean when you said that…"

"Mase and I were fighting again," Dimitri gave me one of his 'what else is new' looks, knowing that Mason and I were dealing with our breakup like the seventeen year olds we were, and also aware that we were fighting about this absurd issue of novices and Moroi fighting Strigoi with magic (the real underlying issue). "He said Guardians aren't doing enough, so I tried to make him see that the issue is more complex, and that it cannot be solved in a few short hours with a few untested commands. I told him that we cannot simply run out into battle because we think we know the whole problem and the exact solution. There is no exact solution." I went on talking because he was not stopping me, and because talking was helping me to concentrate on something other than the fact that Mason and Christian had run off God knows where. "Before that, Mason was telling me about how Mia Rinaldi and other Moroi including Christian want to fight." I desperately wanted to turn and scowl at Tasha. "Where is Mia? Does she know anything about this?"

"Mia Rinaldi is missing too." I was told. "She compelled Guardians at the perimeter entrance for Mason and Eddie Castille."

I buried my face into my hands and couldn't move, feeling my entire system vibrate with fear, and anger, and most of all worry. It hit me then. "I know what they are up to." I said, coming to the most logical conclusion. "They have gone to find Strigoi." I surmised. "They have gone to prove they can fight. Dimitri, we need to find them." Panic was suddenly replacing guilt and fear. "They're going to get hurt."

To the side, I saw Vasilisa now talking to another Moroi in a more hushed tone. It was a man, and he looked just as worried as the Princess. The young man was blond, relatively cute with that dangerous sort of appeal, he was older than the Princess, but not my much. If I had to wager a guess, I would put him around Yuri's age. His eyes moved from Vasilisa and her worry, to me, and I immediately turned back to Dimitri.

"Find them." I commanded.

"We'll find them." He said to me, his palm coming to gently rest on my arm.

I peeked back at Tasha and Vasilisa, the young blond man had disappeared and both women were again huddled together with their worry and uncertainty. But I could not stay sitting any longer. After hearing the more colorful details of this runaway band of Dhampirs and Moroi, hearing what other Guardians already knew, my nerves were as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof. It took every part of my self-control to keep the fires inside of me from escaping in every direction. I was sure that if even one person touched me, I might literally explode. I needed to walk, or run, or pace. I settled on pacing, starting with the small space around where I had been sitting, slowly moving further out to the middle section of the lobby, dodging Guardians and furniture as best as I could. Fortunately, the rest of the Dhampir and Moroi were on lockdown in their rooms. My path continued to grow, only until it was blocked by a body. I ran into another body, and as I lifted my eyes, I felt a shred of serenity brush my emotions.

"Bellamy." It was Yuri, and his voice sounded so apologetic in my ears.

I shook my head, not wishing to hear it, but as he led me back to where I had been sitting before, I stopped.

"I don't want to sit down anymore." I stated. "I can't sit."

He surrendered, and we stood face to face in silence.

"Here!" Another Guardian shouted out over the room. "We may have something." We all gathered to help ascertain what possible knowledge we had, and it was clear that we now had our first good solid lead on the escape students. A group of humans had been questioned by Guardians out searching the nearby cities, and after knowing the signs to look for, these Guardians were sure that these humans had also been under Moroi compulsion. A much larger group of Guardians now started assembling, this time the group included both Dimitri Belikov and Janine Hathaway, ready to take what new information they had, to go after the students.

"Are you staying behind too?" Yuri asked me after I finished a short conversation with Dimitri.

I sighed. "Yes. Bridgette would have Dimitri at gunpoint if anything happened to me before I turn eighteen," I paused shortly, "and I do not think that Mason or Christian want me coming to their rescue."

Yuri and I sat down together. He had decided it might be best to stay behind on this mission, and right now I was alright with that. In fact, as he sat beside me, holding my hands as we talked quietly, I was just starting to calm down, and believe that that things would soon return to normal as Tasha walked by me, looking down at our hands.

"THIS, IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I shouted at her, standing up, letting go of Yuri's hands. Other Guardians all turned, ready to step in between me and the other woman. She was royal after all.

"Bellamy." Yuri's hands were on my shoulders before I could take a single step towards Tasha.

"No." I said to his attempt to pacify me. "She needs to take responsibility for what she has done. Christian and Mason never would have considered running off on a fool's errand as risky as this if she had not put such futile and ludicrous ideas into the heads of impressionable unexperienced novices."

"Hey!" Tasha shot back, stepping back towards me, still as panic-stricken over Christian's disappearance with Rose Hathaway and others. She was also ready to take me on.

"Not to mention the Moroi she involved in her outrageous beliefs." Yuri added.

He was on my side? I did not question where he stood on this argument. I'd take support where I could get it. He kept his hands to my shoulders though.

"Now wait a minute. Look little girl," Tasha pointed her index finger at me, "You have no right or reason to accuse me of anything."

"Oh," I gave a laugh, "you are so wrong. I have so much more to accuse you of." I tried to move closer to her, daring the woman to make the first move, but Yuri was ready. He caught me, tightening his grip on me. "Dimitri does not yet know half of what I should tell him." I may still." I threatened, and Tasha definitely wanted to take a swing at me.

"Is there something we should know about you two?" Vasilisa was beside Tasha, trying to ease the increasing tensions. We were all on edge enough. Verbally fighting with Tasha or anyone else only made things worse.

"No Princess." I addressed her by her title, "Natasha Ozera and I currently have a have a very tenuous affiliation. Any friendship we had, disintegrated after she shamelessly defied orders from a much higher ranking Guardian."

Tasha grew even more defensive. "Bridgette never had any right to…"

"She had every right as a friend." I put an end to her defensive position. "Bridgette knows exactly what kind of person you are, and she is looking out for her friend. If she were here she would say these things herself."

"Then you have no right." Tasha changed her tune. "You may have a Guardian title, but you are still only seventeen." My whole body started to heat up in seconds. I wanted to scream out loud.

Yuri obviously felt the fire rising, removing his hands as though I had burned him.

"That is enough." Yuri's command stopped us from further fighting back and forth. "Bellamy," He tentatively put his hands out to me, "come here."

I took a single step to him, closing the small gap between us, wrapping my arms around his broad chest, burying my face in his shirt. I did not want to start crying. Yuri held me tight against him, his hands touching my back in a more soothing manner.

"You are going to be sorry."

"Back off." Yuri growled then, keeping Tasha silent. I had never heard him speak like that to anyone, let alone a royal. He was protecting me, and I was grateful. "Let's just walk away, Bellamy."

I nodded several times before Yuri too turned his back to the livid woman. He kept his arm around me, whispering something to Belen, another Academy Guardian, before moving me far away from Natasha Ozera.

Nearly twenty-four hours had passed when Yuri, who had stubbornly stayed by my side nearly the entire time, and I heard anything about the AWOL students, and the Guardians who'd gone to find them. The students had been located and were on their way back to the lodge under armed angry Guardian watch. I sat back into the spot I had occupied on a couch for a now lost number of hours. I breathed a sigh of relief, watching Yuri on his phone with one of the other Guardians. He was getting more details, but honestly I was just happy that they were all on their way back.

"Bellamy." Yuri sat down beside me, his hands taking mine slowly again. All of a sudden, his voice took on that same sad apologetic objectivity. There was something more mixed into his voice, but I could not place it, "there is something more that I need to tell you about this rescue mission, but I really do not want to be the one who has to tell you."

Was it apprehension I heard? And then it hit me. No, it was not apprehension. It was terror. Genuine fear to the core of a person. For the first time I'd met him, I heard absolute fear in Yuri Tverskaya.

"Yuri, whatever it is, you can tell me." I clasped his hands tighter, but he let go, standing and walking a distance away.

"Damn Belikov for asking me to do this." He swore. "I cannot be the one who causes you so much hurt." Even more than the terror in his voice, when I heard his very distinct accent returning , I worried. That much more. Yuri still refused to talk, so I changed the tactics. I spoke more firmly, demanding him to answer.

"Yuri, tell me." I insisted. "Tell me what you know."

He sat back down, trying now to hide his fear. "Bellamy, sweetheart," he used a sweet term of endearment, and I knew without a doubt that what he had to say was going to be worse than bad, "there was one student who did not survive." Yuri slowly said. The same terror swept through my system, instantly taking over my nervous system as the Guardian with me kept talking. "He went back to save another student, and he was killed by one of the Strigoi." Tears formed and fell from Yuri's eyes .

My mind and thoughts struggled to understand that the person Yuri referred to had to be either Mason, Christian, or Eddie. I'd heard that Eddie Castille was badly injured, but that thankfully he would survive, so I could rule him out. That only left…

"Bellamy, it was Mason."

The words hung in the air as my entire world felt as though it had crashed inward and exploded me into tiny pieces. My entire body felt like it was dying. NO amount of rage, sadness, or denial was enough. I stood up, but only made it hallway before my legs gave out. I had no feeling in any part of me. Mason was dead. Yuri caught me before my knees hit the floor, concealing the oncoming what was sure to be the first of many emotional breakdowns.

"We fought." I said through my sobbing. "The last conversation he and I had was a fight. I will never get to apologize to him. There is so much that I will never get to say to him." Again, I began crying and shaking from the unbearable grief consuming me.

Yuri fully wrapped his arms around me, letting me cry as much as I needed. We both sat on the floor holding each other as I cried. After pulling myself together as much as I could, I insisted on calling Bridgette, but could not bring myself to dial her number. Yuri did a good thing by calling Bridgette for me, He relayed most of the details, and gave Bridgette as much information as he could until my aunt demanded to speak to me. We had a short conversation as I did everything I could not to start crying all over again as Bridgette asked me questions, but after a short ten minute talk, Bridgette was making calls of her own, and I was informed that the Guardian Council was sending on of its jets to retrieve me. I would meet Bridgette at Court in just a few short hours.

An hour later, a soft knock on my hotel room door surprised me.

"Bells?" Dimitri called to me from the opposite side of the door. "Bellamy?"

I opened the door, and saw him standing far less rigidly than normal. He looked wrecked. I did not think that anyone could feel worse than me, but then Dimitri told me about Rose Hathaway, and I felt awful.

"Please tell her that this is not her fault." I showed more empathy knowing that Rose and Mason had been close for a long time. "Also tell her that I am sorry that she too has lost a good person in Mason."

"I will tell her." Dimitri promised, and I opened my door to him further. And he entered. As he did, he almost immediately looked back at me in disbelief.

I had pulled my bags out, and was in the chaotic process of repacking them.

"I did not believe Alberta when she said that you are leaving. Where are you going?" Dimitri asked, and I was nothing less than straightforward with him.

"I am going back to Court." I told him. "But, I do not think I will be there for long. When I am done there, who knows where I might run to."

Dimitri immediately caught on to my reasoning and what I meant.

"No." He refused to believe me. "Bellamy, no." His voice was soft and full of regret, or sympathy. "You can't give up."

"I turned quickly, facing him again. "Mason is dead Dimitri!" I wanted to shout at him, but I did not have the strength or the energy. "I cannot do this anymore. It's too hard."

"Since when do you give up? Since when does Bellamy Pearce back down from things just because they are hard?" He challenged me, but I was in no space to challenge him back

"Since everything in me was shattered." I snapped, holding back another large swell of emotion. "I will not do this anymore. I can't."

"Bellamy, please. You are the one who told me in no uncertain terms that death is part of our job. It is that bad that we must take on with the good. You are the one who understands that better than most others."

"That was before."

"Before…"

"Before this life, this job, and before death stole my Mason."

"Don't do this, Bells. Don't go."

I stopped packing as I listened to his plea. "Was it quick?" I questioned him.

"What?"

"Mason's death. Was it quick?"

"I do not see how that matters."

I stared into his eyes, looking for more. "No." I gave a short indication of understanding. "You wouldn't see how it matters, and that is why I cannot do this. The difference between us in this moment, is that something like that, it matters to me." I was sure my comment stung him, but he did not let it show outwardly. "I'm sorry." I said, throwing the last of my things into a bag, placing it by the door.

"Bells," He now sounded defeated, unable to change my mind, "is there anything that I can do before you go?"

I considered his very kind offer, and decided this time there was something very important he could do for me.

"There are a few people that I would like to speak to before I go, and I'm going to need your help."

It would've been an impossible task for me to personally ask for a favor like this, as Tasha Ozera and I were no longer seeing eye to eye, but Dimitri had a better shot, or so I thought. Clearly the Moroi woman was displeased with him too.

"I could only get you ten minutes with him." Dimitri said as we made our way down a back stairwell at a fast pace. "And Tasha made it clear that I am to stay in the room with the two of you."

"What does she think we're going to do?" I was not able to keep my discontented comment to myself, but Dimitri only hummed as we reached the door to one of the smaller conference rooms.

Dimitri opened the door, and every part of me wanted to run to the Moroi, wrap my arms around him, and appreciate the fact that he was still alive. Instead, I walked into the room, and stayed on the opposite side of the long conference table that separated us. Christian looked up at me and I took a deep breath, bottling any feelings that I still had for him.

"You're alright?" I questioned him and he too gave a shrug.

"Physically I am fine. Emotionally I am a little more battered." He said the word 'battered', and I figured he was feeling the effects of death coming so close to him again.

I sighed heavily, sitting down. "Okay, talk to me. Tell me exactly what the hell you were thinking. What could have possibly possessed you to run off with such wild naiveté, thinking you could take on Strigoi with novices?"

"Rose was going after Mason. She needed a Moroi to help her compel the Guardians at the entry gates. Then she agreed to let me tag along with her."

"Do not shift blame to Rose Hathaway for decisions you made." I said a little too loud and hostile.

"Bellamy." Dimitri warned me to watch my tone, but I only half listened.

"Seriously? Christian, you are responsible for the choices you make. There is no argument to that. Just because it was not your idea, does not give you an excuse to blame others for a choice you made. You, like everyone else in the world, have free will my darling." I sweetened my tone a bit, but still wanted to make my points with him. "You make your own decisions, and then you take responsibility for them. You decided to go with Rose. That was your choice. End of story.

Christian gave a glum nod in agreement, rather than his customary eye roll or sardonic remark.

"Now, again, I will ask, what were you thinking?"

"I guess I was thinking that magic could do some good out there in a fight." Christian answered my question, and the white noise in my ears threatened to return.

"Oh. My. God." I stopped myself from raising my voice again. "I swear by all of the collective Saints and Deities, if I hear you spouting off any of Tasha's inane ideologies while we are talking, I might start violently throwing shit around this room."

"But magic did help. I used my fire, and it helped us escape. Mia used her water element, and it helped us to get away."

"Chris," I put a hand to my forehead exhaustively. It was no use reminding him that they would not have had to escape if they had not left the lodge in the first place. I also had no intention of listening to him attempt to justify what he had done. "It obviously did not help enough. Mason is dead!" I exclaimed louder, "He is dead." I repeated, feeling my chest hurt again as I said the words. "You do not get to come back from death. There is no second chance. Strigoi are fast, they are violent beings, and they don't think twice about killing. We can't anticipate what they do, or what they think. You all could've died. Do you understand that? The Strigoi in that house had you all bound with no way of fighting back, and no one knew where you were. It would've been nothing for them to kill you, or Mia, or Rose. They nearly killed Eddie." I pointed out every bit of information that I had since learned. I also started to pace my side of the room. "The only thing I learned after hearing that you and Mia used magic, is that it is nothing but a minor distraction to Strigoi out there. You all were lucky. That's it. But," I sat back down, "luck is not all you need to win the fight. Skill, experience, and years of the proper training helps us as Guardians, and even then our lives are still not guaranteed. You obviously don't see it that way, so the next time that you make the choice to run off and pick a fight with Strigoi, don't expect me afterwards." I warned, hoping it would help. "I won't be there."

"Bells, I'm sorry.' Christian finally sounded contrite. "You're right. I should not have gone. I risked my life, and it was unnecessary." He admitted out loud, and I smiled at him.

"I'm glad you are okay." I walked around to his side of the table. As I reached him, I looked up into his eyes to see tears threatening to fall. I finally saw contrition in his eyes.

"We couldn't stop him Bells." Christian said, contrition turning to panic as he recalled the events of what had occurred. "We tried, but he went back. We could not save him. I'm sorry."

"I know sweetie." I put my arms around him, pulling him closer. "I know." Christian's arms wrapped around me tight, holding me as though he might lose me too.

"Bells, I'm so sorry." He repeated, and I realized that he was shaking under my arms as I still held onto him.

"Alright." Christian and I let our arms drop, still holding hands as his aunt Tasha burst into the room, walking right by Dimitri. "That's enough. Christian, come with me. You need to rest."

Christian let go of my hand and agreed to get more sleep after his harrowing ordeal.

"Wait." He turned back to me. "Bells, will you be back at St. Vladimir's after this? I mean you are here with us now. Are you…"

I looked over to Dimitri, watching the disappointment and anticipation fight within him. I was still unsure of what I would do. I knew what I desperately wanted to do, but seeing Dimitri fight so hard to keep me in this role as a Guardian made me think.

"I don't know Chris. I am only training with Janine and Dimitri until my birthday. I haven't really decided on what I'll do after."

I was already drained from having to face Christian again, and of course keep my feelings to myself, but I still had another Moroi I insisted on having a short discussion with. Most of the Moroi students were laying low until it was time to go back to the Academy, which in my opinion was a good thing. It made everyone easier to control and locate. Dimitri managed to track down Mia Rinaldi for me, leaving a message with the three Guardians constantly roaming her floor. The message simply requested her presence in the Guardian gym building, connected to the lodge. The only other thing made clear in the note, was that she should not be tardy. I did not need Dimitri's help in talking to Mia, but after he ran off to do his own check in on a few Dhampir, he insisted on joining me for this talk too. After changing into our work out clothes, he and I met at the gym shortly before Mia was supposed to arrive.

"Would you care to do some hand to hand training with me? I could use the review." I casually spoke as we entered into the gym.

Dimitri looked down at me, his eyes full of suspicion.

"What's your plan mini Pearce?"

I actually did not mind that he thought of me as as a mini version of Bridgette, or that he assumed that I might already have a formed plan when it came to approaching Mia. Honestly, I took both as compliments to his faith in me, and after the trouble he and I had recently had, I found it nice.

"What makes you think I have a plan, Thor?"

"Why did you ask Mia Rinaldi to meet you here in the Guardian gym? You have something sinister up your sleeve?"

"Definitely not sinister." I enigmatically replied, figuring I should give him some sort of explanation. "I want Mia to understand how much and how often we train. I want her to see for herself what those of us who have been at the eye of the storm are capable of. I want her to know that what we go through, and what we sacrifice for, is not as easily attained as many think. And I want her to better comprehend that even after everything we put our minds, bodies, and souls through, it's not always enough. I am going to talk to her."

Dimitri clearly still had his doubts about my methods, but he agreed to help in any way he could. The two of us were in the center of the room, sparring in one of the combat circles, as we did during any of our past hand to hand trainings. We were moving swift and throwing even harder punches when Mia Rinaldi walked into the Guardian gym. I took seconds to point out a chair for her to sit in, not missing a beat with Dimitri, ducking as his elbow came hurling by my head.

Mia had a look of absolute captivation on her face, And, as I made my way over to where she was still sitting, once Dimitri and I finished, her hands were gripping to the seat. A few times I'd heard the Moroi girl gasp as she had been completely focused on the training Guardians. Mia only snapped out of her trance as I pulled another chair up beside her.

"I have never seen you fight." She sounded in awe, and I could only shake my head back and forth.

"You mean you have never seen me train. That was not a fight. There is a difference in the two." I softened my voice. "That is part of what I would like to talk to you about."

"You sent the note to my room." Mia surmised.

"I did."

Dimitri kept a fair amount of distance as he too rested, looking as though he were busying himself, but I knew that he was still listening to what I might say to Mia.

"What do you want to talk to me about?"

I tilted my head a fraction, a much more stern look coming to appear on my face. Mia was not so oblivious to think that I did not know that she had gone along with the others to Seattle. In seconds, I saw a familiar look cross her face. It was the look of tragedy, written all over her. She had not only lost her mother and Mason, but like me, she had lost a part of her soul.

"Tell me what happened."

"I don't know." She started, her voice lowering, almost unheard. "When they told me about the attack, and then about my mom," Again I could see the loss of soul in her eyes, "I think that I lost control. I was not thinking straight. All I wanted to do was…"

"Fight." I tried to finish her sentence. Mia didn't say anything in response, so I continued. "I should've spoken up at that meeting when Tasha Ozera began her ridiculous speech. I should have said this before you were all so beguiled and persuaded by the idea of fighting with or without magic. I should've told you that I know how you feel."

Mia sat silent, still facing me, curious to know where I might be going with this speech of my own.

"I know what it feels like to want to do something about these horrible tragedies that plague us too often. I know what it feels like to want to run out there and help solve the problem by any means possible. I also know what it is like to be held back from the fight."

"But you are not held back." Mia challenged. "You're a Guardian. No one holds you back from the fight, from doing the right thing, and from wanting to do something about the problem."

"But I am." I informed her. "I am held back by the rules govern both Guardian and Moroi Courts. Like all other guardians, I do not jump into a dangerous situation, unless it is approved with an appropriate plan,"

"But even if a fight is needed and approved, we still can't be there. You get to fight Bellamy. You get that privilege."

"Privilege?" I questioned her use of the word. "So, what you want is credit and praise for killing? That's not how this works Mia. What I do is not a privilege. It is a duty. I take on the responsibility of protecting you and all other Moroi. In order to keep balance in this world, there need to be Dhampir willing to train as hard as we do to guard Moroi. "

"Can I ask you a question?" She timidly asked, and I agreed. "Is your personal argument with Moroi fighting, or is it the use of magic being used in a fight?" Her inquiry was smart. She too knew the real issue at hand.

"Both." I replied to her dismay. "I am personally fine with the concept of Moroi wanting to learn more about their magic, and about ways of increasing your magic skills. If someone like Christian Ozera wants to learn more methods of using his fire, that's great. But, I am not ever going to let it be in expectation of fighting Strigoi. The same goes for you and your water magic." I said, and Mia gave an expectedly morose look in my direction.

"It's just as well." She shrugged her shoulders. "Christian says it is useless for me to try to increase my magic. Even after I told him how I helped save Rose, he says that water can only do so much damage and that it cannot compare to the things that fire does."

I wanted to laugh at the illogical nature of everything Mia just said.

"Christian is an idiot." I said instead, and Mia smiled at me.

"I never thought I would hear you say anything bad about Christian Ozera."

I smiled back at her. "Our little secret." I joked with her, and I could see that it made her feel a little bit better. "As much as I care for him, Chris can say some pretty obnoxious and moronic things. Mia, we all have our strengths. I will be the first to admit that I am amazed by the ways that you can use water.

"You're just saying that." Mia came back.

"Christian only understands his magic. The thing that he does not see, is that in a fight against other element magic, water always wins. It is the most contradictory but resolute magic. It is patient and it is brutal. It can be calm and turbulent within the same span of time. Water can wait out time itself. Every living being needs water to survive. Without it were are lost, which makes you a bringer of both life and death."

"How do you know all of that?"

"I'm observant." I smiled again. "And water magic has always fascinated me." I let on to one of my secrets.

Mia looked shocked by my revelation. She and I had never talked long enough for her to know these things about me.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

I let her ask.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

I sat back, studying her, watching her shift and look from one direction to another. Her behavior was telling, and it told me the things I needed to know. It also told me things that I did not recognize before this.

"I understand more than you think I do." I told her. "I am sure that other Guardians who have talked to you, have all done so with lectures and stern voices. I'm sure that they are all super angry with what you all chose to do."

"And you are not angry?" Mia asked another question.

"Of course I'm angry. More than that, I am disappointed. Mia, it turns out that you and I are more alike than we would like to admit." As expected, Mia was skeptical of my comment. "I dare say that you and I might even be friends one day." We were both silent, staring back at each other.

"Nah." We both jokingly denied the possibility.

We were quietly talking still as two more Guardians entered the gym, preparing to train and work out.

"Bells," Stefan walked up to where Mia and I sat, wary to interrupt the conversation I was having with one of the students who was currently in heaps of trouble with ninety-five percent of the St. Vladimir's Guardians, "the Court jet just landed on the runway." Stefan said, kneeling down. An emotional bubble swelled up in me again.

"Are you really leaving us again?"

I gave a nod of my head. "I have to. I need some time to process and reevaluate away from the Academy." I kept any actual plan or half plan I had to myself.

Stefan put his hand on my knee, showing sympathy. "Take the time you are given to grieve." He then stared back into my eyes, trying hard to read me. He got very little from me. "You will do well in any position that you choose to be placed into." He said, leaning up to kiss my cheek before I could stand.

Stefan stepped to his left, showing me now that the other Guardian who had entered alongside him had been Yuri. Yuri stood back, waiting for me to say something. Instead, I took a few steps forward, walking over to where he stood.

"Why is a Moroi in the gym?" He was purposely avoiding the real subject.

"I asked her to meet me here. I wanted her to see how hard we train. I wanted to sit and explain to her why we do what we do."

"That is a dangerous thing to do."

"Perhaps not." I explained. "And go a little bit easier on Mia. She understands more now about why we fight instead of them, and sacrifice for them."

"I'm so sorry Bellamy." He expressed over Mason, but I had no way of responding with words.

Yuri stayed quiet then. He stared back at me, knowing that Stefan and Dimitri were watching us. I did not care if they were watching us. I took Yuri's hand with mine, holding it low. The disappointment and sympathy that had been written all over his face was erased. A warm stirring raced up my other arm and through the rest of my body as Yuri put his hand to my lower back, bringing me closer to him. I kept myself close, pressed against him, memorizing the scent and feel of him before I forced myself to back away from the sexy Guardian, who along with me, cleared any confusion in Dimitri and Stefan's minds. Stefan chose to clear his throat with a knowing laugh, surprising me by not breaking out into an 'I knew it' song and dance. But as I looked back at Dimitri, I could see that he was not all that happy about any sort of affection between me and Yuri Tverskaya. He gave a slight shrug of indifference. After all, what could he say at this point?

"Do you really have to say goodbye again?" Yuri's tone was so soft and there was still a shred of fear, or maybe it was the same grief we were all burdened under.

"No." I returned. "I will not say goodbye. Until next time." I said instead, leaning up to kiss his cheek sweetly, inhaling sharply as his hand touched to my back again.

"Until next time." He whispered, and I moved away.

Dimitri and I left the Guardian gym, making sure Mia made it back to her room, under Guardian watch again, and then we were on our way back outside.

"I wish you would reconsider, Bellamy."

I did not respond, keeping my eyes forward as we walked to the nearing landing space used for Court and Academy jet. But, my silence seemed to worry Dimitri more.

"Bellamy, you are too good to give up. You have worked too hard to give up."

"Eddie Castille is still in the infirmary." I almost didn't recognize my own voice as I spoke about my friend. "The doctors and nurses won't let anyone in to see him. They said it would be another few days before he wakes." I explained what Dimitri likely already knew, but he seemed curious as to where I might be going with this conversation. From the inner lining of my jacket, I produced an envelope with Eddie's name written on it. "When you return to the Academy, and he is feeling up to it, would you make sure Eddie gets this?"

Dimitri agreed, his reluctance still visible and heard. "Sure Bellamy."

Once the Court jet was in sight, I felt my own reluctance growing inside. I stopped abruptly, nearly falling forward. But, my mind was made up. I was going to do this. I was going to get on this plane, make my way to the Guardian Court, and inform the Council of my new plan. I took more steps forward, , running into Dimitri as he too had come to a full halt. His eyes stared up in disbelief, and I did not need to question why as I looked up to the open jet door.

Bridgette.

Bridgette stood in the doorway, looking down at us before descending. I walked to her slowly while she waited in place at the base of the steps.

"This too shall pass." Bridgette spoke.

Within seconds I felt emotion overwhelm me again, my arms wrapping around my Aunt as I fell to pieces. My knees nearly hit the ground, but Bridgette was here to pick me up piece by piece. Dimitri took a step forward to help, but he was stopped by Bridgette.

"Wait here." She commanded him. "I want a condensed report on what you all allowed to happen here." Bridgette's voice was full of authority and cynicism. I had never heard her so distrusting of Dimitri. Her doubt was misplaced.

"Bridge, this was not Dimitri's fault." I tried to tell her as she held me tight, leading me up the steps and inside of the private Court jet. "This tragedy was not the fault of all of the Guardians here. I am just as much to blame. I am more to blame than anyone."

"Shh." Bridgette soothed. "Sit sweetheart." She made sure that I was in a seat, strapping myself in before she disappeared back out to where Dimitri waited half-patiently. Bridgette then had herself a very terse infuriated talk with Dimitri Belikov. No doubt she would also be talking with Janine soon enough as well.

At one point, it was Dimitri's turn to return his own harsh words, and clearly whatever he had to say struck a few nerves in Bridgette. I had to assume his words had much to do with me too, as I watched Bridgette's head turn swiftly towards the plane, her eyes meeting mine through the window I watched them out of. A short time later, the conversation between the two was finished. Bridgette made her way back onto the jet as I continued to watch Dimitri. He gave one last look to me, his hand raised slightly, before walking away. It should not have surprised me or made me anymore uncomfortable than usual when Bridgette began to analyze my behavior. She sat across from me, keeping her words and thoughts to herself

"He's gone." I chose to dive back into the cascading waters of death and loss. "Mason is really gone."

Bridgette moved her hand up to her chin. "What is your plan Bells?"

Yup. Dimitri had either cryptically or outright mentioned something to Bridgette about my "plan" to no longer be a Guardian.

"I don't really have much of a plan yet Bridge." I spoke. "I don't know where I stand right now." I could see the fear in Bridgette's eyes as I said that.

"You have been here before Bells." She mentioned.

I shook my head. "This is not like Berlin." I said. "This is not a crisis of faith. This is me, not knowing which path to take anymore. The loss of a life is more enduring than the loss of a relationship."

"This is your first." Bridgette sounded as though she was still trying to dissect me and my emotions. "You have never lost anyone that you truly love before this."

I did not reply. I couldn't find anything to say in return, without tears returning too.

"You still have a couple of weeks to make any permanent decisions." She continued.

"The Council will want to know something more before that. Maybe," I considered with hope, "maybe I can hide in my apartment for at least a few days before they start to question me."

"You are not going back to Court yet." Bridgette told me as the plane was now taking off, lifting into the air.

"Where are we going?"

"I am dropping you off in Switzerland for a few days and nights." I was given more information, not enjoying the fact that Bridgette had waited until now to tell me about her plan for me. "There is a hidden chalet in the Alpine mountains, used by Moroi and Dhampir. It is surrounded by private cabins, and it is a good place to be alone. It is a good place to begin to mourn and think." I did not argue with her, knowing that if the decision had already been made, I was not able to change plans. I would not be given a choice in being dropped in the middle of nowhere. That did not mean that I did not have questions of my own.

"Will there be others in the cabins?"

She nodded. "It is likely, but the cabins are spaced far enough apart to provide privacy. And they are all heavily guarded."

"Will you be there?" I asked her, and her eyes shifted to the window, looking out into the clouds.

"I have a quick assignment. It will not take me long, but I do not want you alone at Court while I am away. You need some time on your own before you are faced by the Council and any choices you may be offered."

So, this was it. I was off to the mountains to hide away, or be hidden away, until others felt that I would make a clear headed decision. I never should've assumed that Bridgette Pearce and Dimitri Belikov would let me get away with making a decision like this without proper thought. I closed my eyes, knowing that we had a long flight ahead of us.

Hope you enjoyed this alternate version of "WHAT IF". As I mentioned at the start, I was in a bit of a mood when I wrote much of this, so that is why it reads more tense and argumentative. But, I also finished writing it so that I could lead into my next side chapter, which deals with a few interesting moments between Bellamy and Aaron. Until then. Thanks for reading.