A/N: This oneshot is kind of a sequel to "Bets On" and "Trick or Treat?". Though jumping right into this is totally fine and won't cause any real confusion, I still do hope you would take the time to read them ahead.

"Shall we call it a night, sir?"

"No." Batman replied to the elderly through the communication device, "Gotham has been too quite this passing month."

"Sir?" Alfred replied with an inquisitive tone, "You just handed Two-Face to the GCPD. A couple of days ago, Scarecrow. And not so long before that, the Penguin. You've managed to apprehend almost every threat to Gotham, Master Bruce, and you still call it a quite month?"

"You said it, Alfred. Almost." Batman stressed, "I haven't heard a whisper of the Joker and he has been at large for far too long."

"When you put it that way, it's rather- sigh- ominous. As much as I appreciate the madman's silence I do dread it as well." Alfred agreed, "Very well, sir. I do hope you find him before, eh, he forces you to look his way."

"I will." Batman replied confidently as he closed his end of the line. "I will." He whispered again before jumping into a glide from the edge of the GCPD's roof.

As the Dark Knight glided over Gotham, with its chilly breeze brushing against his cheeks, his mind began to process possible Joker whereabouts. The clown had several hideouts throughout Gotham; some already known to Batman, others will eventually be. Either way, he will find the clown. Although if the madman wasn't planning on being found yet, a long night will be awaiting the vigilante.

Fortunately enough, it just took a few misses to find signs of the Joker. It was around one of the clown's most favorite hideouts, an abandoned theme park just outside the skirts of Gotham. The signs suggested that the place had been inhabited for a few weeks, however, the newest Batman managed to find were a couple of days old, "Hmmm… Joker might not be here anymore." The vigilant muttered and then he mentally noted, 'Choosing a hideout that is well known to me, seems Joker wants to be found.'

But whether the clown was expecting him or wasn't even there anymore, Batman wasn't about to risk it. He silently slipped into the tunnel of love, which was more or less the entrance to the hideout.

Calling it the tunnel of love was misguiding, as years hadn't been so kind to this place. The walls hardly had any of its former romantically themed paintings; whatever was left was nothing but washed-up and distorted. Instead of paintings, cracks ran wildly along the walls; some were so bad that the reinforcing bars began to protrude through the concrete. On top of that, it was barely lit with few bulbs and tubes that still had some life left in them. Nonetheless, the further one went in the darker it got. But worst of all was the rats. Ugly, scarred rats scurrying from one end to the other. Batman noticed that some had random, white pigmentation, and a mouth stretched into what almost resembled a grin. Test specimens of the Joker's poison, he concluded- well, failed test specimens to be more accurate since the mutated rats yet lived.

Finally reaching where the tunnel was darkest, the vigilante stopped and stood in front of what appeared to be a dead end. He traced the wall in front of him. It took him few seconds to locate what he was looking for, a concealed security panel. Using the cryptographic sequencer, he tweaked a couple of times before he was able to find the right code to unlock the panel: Knock Knock.

"He is expecting me after all." Batman mumbled to himself.

With a clicking sound, part of the wall opened inwardly revealing a narrower, hidden tunnel. The vigilante carefully stepped in. After taking a couple of steps he took out his grappling gun and hurled himself into the ventilation duct that was just a few feet above him.

'It's too quite.' Batman thought as he crawled through the duct that led directly above the Joker's hideout.

Once in the right position, he switched to night vision to check for any bodies below. The vigilante let out a deep sigh as the first thing came to his sight was a hideous message: 'FEEL FREE TO DROP IN BATSY – NATURALLY YOURS, JO'AH'KER!'

He looked around and it took him a while to find what looked like a foot of someone lying on the ground, peeking from a corner. "I knew something was odd." Batman spoke softly.

He force opened the vent. Searching for a better vantage point, the vigilante hurled himself to a steel beam that was almost opposite to the foot. Now the body fully in his view, the thermal reading showed that its temperature was sky-high; too high for a normal human being.

"Joker?" Batman whispered. He felt nauseous; the pit of his stomach was churning at the abnormal reading. "No. This has to be a trap." He tried to convince himself. But the longer he looked the more he was convinced otherwise; the Joker was barely breathing.

The vigilant swung from the beam and dropped next to the Joker. He held the unconscious man and shock him slightly, "Joker! JOKER!"

The Joker stirred, and moaned softly as he struggled to open his eyes. With half opened eyes, he lifted one hand and placed it over the Batman's face. "Is that you…Bats?" He asked, voice barely audible, "Took you… long enough."

"You are burning." Batman replied. He took off one glove and placed his bare hand over the Joker's, "You are like a hundred and thirty degrees hot."

The Joker chuckled, "Oh, Bats. Look at you flirting with ol' sick me."

"How did this happen?" Batman asked.

"I knew it. You worry about me." The Joker grinned wearily, "But there's no need to." He said as he wrapped his arms around Batman's neck, "Nothing like a long kiss from my Bats to raise me back to health."

Batman frowned as he grabbed the clown's wrist and placed them back next to their owner's side. "I thought your body wasn't capable of producing such normal symptoms. Putting your abnormal temperature aside that is. You do have a fever."

"All work. No fun." The Joker sighed as he struggled to sit up, "I can see that, Bats. Now would you help me up instead of lecturing me on what a fever is?"

"Wait. Let me first take a blood sample." Batman requested as he reached for the Joker's arm.

"Sure." The Joker sighed before grinning again, "Stick away. Though I would rather have a warmer, more flesh less steel kinda stick."

Batman frowned at the clown's insinuation. He felt like punching him, but settled on ignoring him; punching a sick person wouldn't feel right, even if it was the Joker.

"Alfred." Batman called through his earpiece.

"Yes, Master Bruce." The elderly replied in an instant.

"Run analysis on the blood sample I just uploaded." Batman instructed.

"And what am I to search for in this blood sample?" Alfred inquired.

Batman was hesitant, which the Joker noticed and pulled himself close to Batman's earpiece, "Hello, Alfie! You see, my favorite old man, Uncle J here is kinda sick. And Bats here is in a-"

"What?!" Joker exclaimed as he got shoved away by an angry Batman, "You seemed like you needed some help."

"Don't you ever do that again!" Batman growled before he shifted his attention back to Alfred, "I need to know what can cause such a high fever to a body that defies every known poison."

"Eh… yes, sir. And I see you've found the madman." Alfred stated, "But may I ask what are you planning to do after finding the cause of his sickness?"

"Create an antidote and lock him down in Arkham." Batman answered.

"Very well, sir." Alfred replied before closing his end of the line.

"You know, Bats, sharing is caring. Or so I've heard." The Joker pouted, "And caring is what I need. Not shoving me around. Don't get me wrong, I do love it rough. But seriously, do I need to teach you how to read the atmosphere? I think I have it stashed somewhere."

"For a sick person you talk and move a lot." Batman frowned, "I guess you won't be needing any help to your bed."

"First, I'm not your average patient." The Joker raised one finger, and with the second he added, "Second, can you be anymore heartless? You ignore me for weeks and now you refuse to help me."

With a defying expression, The Joker reached to Batman with one hand, urging him to help.

Batman sighed as he gave in; the clown would just keep nagging him otherwise. He kneeled down, grabbed the hand reaching out for him and threw it over his shoulder.

"I knew my Bats wouldn't ditch me." The Joker chuckled while caressing his cheek against Batman's hand that was resting on his shoulder. "Ouch!" The Joker cried when the vigilante nudged his hand to stop the clown.

"Now that you stopped acting like a cat-"

"Don't insult me, Batman." The Joker stared with anger at Batman.

"What've you been up to?" Batman continued, ignoring the clown.

"Just take me to my bed before my legs give away." The Joker sighed, "You're seriousness is seeping the itsy bitsy energy I've left."

The vigilante obliged while he quietly observed the Joker as they staggered toward the clown's 'bedroom'.

'I guess he really hates Catwoman.' Batman thought looking at how pissed of the Joker seemed; forehead filled with lines, brows creased into a knot, nose crunched in disgust, and lips in a kind of exaggerated pouted. It took the vigilante a great deal of willpower to suppress his laugh; annoying the clown never ceased to amuse him.

Finally reaching the room, Batman carefully helped the Joker onto his bed and under the sheets. As he did, a certain object caught his attention, "Seriously? A teddy bear?"

"Yes. Got any problems?" The Joker replied with one arched eyebrow, "And his name is Bruce. Which by the way I'm considering of changing." The Joker stared daggers at Batman from the corner of his eyes before giving his back to the vigilante and pulling Bruce into his arms. "Now let me get some rest before you drag me back to that hellhole of a facility." He waved dismissingly at Batman.

Once again the vigilante obliged without a word and left the room silently. As soon as he stepped out of the room he called Alfred.

"Anything?" Batman inquired.

"I'm sending you the result of the analysis right away." Alfred replied, "It seems the fever was a result of alcohol poisoning."

"Alcohol?" Batman repeated with a hint of astonishment.

"Yes." Alfred confirmed, "And that is, sir, not the most astonishing part. What baffles me is the amount, which is almost negligible. It seems the Joker can't hold his liquor."

"It seems so." Batman replied, still quite shocked. "What about the antidote?"

"It's almost done." Alfred answered, "I will be sending it shortly to your current location."

"Very well. Eh- Thank you, Alfred."

"Your welcome, Master Bruce. Anything else?"

"Hmm…no."

"Are you sure, sir? You sound rather unconvincing."

"Well… I was wondering how to make a- ehm- vegetable soup?"

"Vegetable soup?"

"You know he can't take the antidote on an empty stomach. And I doubt he has anything edible in here."

"Oh, right, vegetable soup."

"Yes. Vegetable. Soup."

A Couple of Hours Later…

"Hmmm…" The Joker moaned as he stirred in his bed. He shifted uncomfortably, Bruce still clutched close to his chest. Eyes still closed, he crunched his nose as he sniffed, "What the…" The clown steadily yet slowly opened his eyes. "What's this smell? Bats?" He sat up, rubbed his eyes before taking a look around. On his side he found a tray with a covered bowl, a cup of water and what seemed like a vial of medicine. "Ooooh~ Goodie! Batsy cooked for me?" He looked the other side, "Baaaaatsy?"

To the clown's surprise, Batman was sitting close to the other side of the bed, sleeping. Hands wrapped close to his chest, and head slightly tilted down. And what was even more surprising than the vigilante's uncharacteristic vulnerability, he didn't have his cowl on.

"First he insults me. And now he drops his guard for me. Hehehe~" The Joker chuckled, "I'm getting mixed signals here, darling." He threw the sheets and stealthy crawled over his bed in Batman's direction. Once he reached the edge he carefully placed his toe on the floor, and got down on his knees. He stared up at the billionaire's sleeping face. 'He looks so peaceful and cute without that scowl of his' The Joker though as he withheld a chuckle. 'But it would be such a waste to pass on such a rare gift.' He clasped his hands together as if saying a little prayer, 'Thank you Santa for the early gift, and seeing what a good boy I've been.'

The clown smirked from ear to ear as he pushed himself upward toward the sleeping vigilante. As he got closer to his purpose, he closed his eyes. A giggle almost escaped him as he felt his Bats warm breath tickling the tip of his nose. 'Bon Appetite, Monsieur J.' the clown thought to him self before his slightly parted lips were met by something cold and unexpected.

"Wh-umph eenah huum?!" The clown eyes fluttered wide open as he mumbled incoherently.

His eyeballs shifted all the way up and were met by squinting blue eyes. Shifting his eyes back to their original position, he took a deep inhale and blew a rhapsody into the two fingertips that were pressing against his lips.

Knowing that his actions would most probably gain him a punch- one that his body can't bear presently- the clown swiftly jumped backwards. And as he did, for a split of a second he saw an uppercut punch that had the potential of fracturing his nose.

"Tsk. Boooooring." The Joker pouted as soon as he landed on the edge of his bed. "Do you even know what caring means, Bats?"

"Never do that ever again." Batman seethed.

"Aren't you quite the demanding one today?!" The Joker exclaimed, "Aaaah Batsyboo. If I wanted a mother-in-law I would have tied the knot by now- Hehehehe- And speaking of Jeeves, I presume he gave you a full report of my current- hmmm- pickle."

Letting out a deep sigh, the vigilante sat down once again and said, "You have alcohol poisoning."

"Excuuuuuuuse me? Like a reeeeeally bad hangover?" The Joker exclaimed as he got back on his bed and the sheets. "Hmmm… Alcohol…?" He muttered to himself.

Batman watched the clown as he grabbed the tray and placed it in front of him. The man's hands were working themselves around the tray, while his brain seems to be lost somewhere else.

Quite a moment later, the Joker turned his head towards the vigilante, "Bats? Could you be a dear, call those quacks up at Arkham and inquire about the fabled day the Joker caught a fever?"

"And you had the energy to ramble on but not tell me this before?" Batman stated rhetorically with apparent annoyance.

"Well forgive me for being so aware. You should learn how to relax, Bats." The Joker sighed. He took a spoonful of soup, blew at it and slipped it into his mouth. As he repeated the action, he looked at Batman's unmasked face and added, "You know what, I'm kind of digging that ssssscowl of yours without the Sssssss- He hehehee."

"Just eat your soup so you can have the antidote already. Before you collapse once again." Batman retorted. He gave the Joker one final look before leaving the room to make the necessary calls.

Several Minutes Later …

"So?" The Joker asked as he sensed the return of the vigilante.

"The record is quite old and hasn't been electronically archived yet." Batman replied, "I'll be getting a reply as soon as they find it."

"Makes you wonder where all of that rich-boy-donations goes to, eh?" The clown retorted, "Definitely not in redecorations. Speaking of richy-rich, what's with sudden change? Fashion statement?"

"Comfort." Batman replied with a distant look. He seemed preoccupied with something- or rather searching for something.

"The vial is there." The Joker pointed with his thumb, "Already took my medicine, Doc." He continued cheekily, "But enough of that." He patted the bed invitingly and cooed, "Why don't you let Jay here show you some real comfort."

"I'm taking you back to Arkham." Batman dismissed him as he turned to grab his cowl.

However before the vigilant was able to wear his cowl, he found himself flat on the ground, struggling.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Batman shouted as he fought against the clown's clutches.

"I think I've already made my self clear." Joker grinned mischievously as he pinned down the larger man. He leaned closer and whispered, "Comforting my big stubborn Bats."

"Dammit…" Batman cursed under his breath. His brain raced as he tried his best to break free, 'He barely drank the antidote a few minutes ago. He shouldn't be this insanely strong.'

Unfortunately, the Joker's hot breath against his neck wasn't helping his case. His heart began to race, and everything became blurry for a second.

"Relax, love." The Joker murmured while planting a tender kiss over Batman's bare neck, "Clear your mind."

He placed back his lips and nibbled. The Joker continued nibbling his way up, along the vigilante's thick neck and up to the sweet spot where his neck met his jawline. He grinned when he heard his Bats draw a deep inhale. As he got closer to Batman's lips, the vigilante tilted his head backwards and pursed his lips defiantly, yet the clown managed to force them apart. However, before he could manage anything else, the Joker felt a stinging pain emitting from his lower lip and the ever so familiar taste of iron.

"God dammit, Joker!" Batman panted while trying to shove the Joker's shoulder that was now leaning on his, "Stop this joke."

"Really?" The clown chuckled as he slowly ran the tip of his tongue over his bloodied lip, "For someone who's so good at seducing…" He pressed his hard-on against Bruce, "…you definitely have a weird sense of humor, Batsy. Why do you always assume it's a joke?"

"You won't get your way around it this time." Batman growled, grabbing the clown's hand from the wrist.

"Can you be any less convincing, darling?" The Joker chuckled as he caressed the vigilante's chiseled body, "You do realize no one is forcing you? I mean are you even trying?"

The clown was right. He was still on the ground, while stupidly holding onto the clown's wrists instead of restraining them. Are those the actions of someone who hated all of this?

"Tsk-tsk…When will you ever learn to be honest…" The Joker said while one of his hands slithered its way under the distracted vigilante's codpiece, "…like this part of yours?" He continued and let out a snicker when he felt a jerk at the mare contact of their skin.

"Stop it…" Batman hissed.

The Joker promptly took out his hand and raised both above his shoulder in a surrendering motion, "Sure- suuuuuure." He rolled his eyes, "Not that I believe you." He then grinned as he traced a heart shape over Batman's codpiece with his finger.

Batman grimaced. He might be too proud to admit that he wanted this, but he was also a man of facts. And the facts weren't in his favor; he did quite enjoy his previous encounters with the Joker, and not to mention how erected he already was.

"Come ooooon, Bats! Would you just shut down that brain of yours for once? Just. Once." The Joker frowned as he literally saw his Bats' train of thoughts leaving its station, "How many times should I tell you to let looooooose?"

Bruce observed the angry forming in the green eyes of the man that was sitting on top of him, and sighed. 'Let loose, huh?' A second later, and with a swift movement he flipped the Joker over and reversed their position.

"Oooooh~ Now we are talking!" The clown squealed before a moan escaped him abruptly as Bruce's knee brushed roughly against his hardness.

"No." Batman looked at the lustful eyes, "No. More. Talking." He once again pushed his knee but this time he pressed it against the bulging part of the squirming clown, gaining a long groan. The clown wrapped a leg over Bruce's lower back, as the latter's knee kept grinding him teasingly every now and then. They started at each other for a second before Batman decided to crash his lips against the ruby ones.

As their wet tongues swayed and flicked, Batman could sense the hint of iron in their kisses increasing the heat in his southern part. With one hand still holding down the clown, he used the other to remove the codpiece and allow space for his growing bulge.

The moment the metal was out of the way, he pressed against the clown and began to rub in an upward, sliding motion. With the constant motion intensifying the heat between the men's bulges, the clown began to thrust his hip up as well. Pressing as hard as his position could allow.

Batman closed his eyes, blissfully distracted by the clown's contribution when he felt a sharp pain ringing through his jawline, "Argh!"

"Sweet revenge." The Joker smirked and licked his lips, "It does wonders down there, doesn't it?"

He then wrapped his hands around Batman's neck pulling him towards him. Once close enough he licked his Bats bloodied lips and then sucked on the wound.

The Joker had been right quite several times tonight, and right now he couldn't have been anymore correct. Batman had never imagined a single bite could give him such gratification.

He allowed the clown to have his way for a moment, while he busied himself with ripping apart the purple shirt. Now that the Joker was bare enough, Bruce broke away from the clown's hot kisses and began to leave a trail of his own along the bleached, scarred skin. Starting from the Joker's adam's apple, down to the space between his delicate collars, and moving on down his torso.

The Joker breaths were getting heavier with every kiss. It felt so good to have his scars sucked on for once instead of receiving them. He was so engrossed that he didn't realize he was already fully exposed until his manhood slipped into something warm and wet.

"When did you- AaaaaaH!" The Joker gasped, throwing his head backwards when he felt the sharp scrapping of teeth against his skin.

"No talking." Batman demanded before devouring the clown once again.

The Joker whimpered as the larger man's tongue skillfully played along his hardening length. He could barely follow Bruce's graceful movements that alternated between sucking his length, licking its tip, and planting tender kisses across his inner thigh. The clown's slender fingers intertwined with Bruce's tangled locks, gently tugging in pleasure. Eventually, his hips began to nudge impulsively, urging with for more.

With one hand caressing the clown from hip to thigh, Bruce moved his other to prepare for what was coming next. But he was suddenly stopped by a forceful yank that forced his head backwards.

"No." The Joker panted with a raspy voice, "Just seal the deal already."

"Are you crazy? That w-"

"Have you met me?" The Joker lips tugged to one side in a mischievous smirk. His glossy eyes started down at Bruce, challenging.

Bruce scoffed as he bit down his own smirk. The Joker steadily rose onto his knees, giving his back to the vigilante he grabbed the edge of the bed for support and hoisted up his lower part provocatively. He looked back over his shoulder, and Bruce could see nothing but utter and complete desire in the man gazing at him.

With no more words, Bruce moved closer placing one hand over the small of the Joker's back and the other on his hip for support. And with one thrust he entered the Joker wholly, not leaving a single inch in sight. The Joker opened his mouth but nothing came out as he felt the force of the thrust knocking out the air from his lungs. His mind went blank, and eyes blurry with tears. However, Bruce didn't give him the slightest chance of recovery; the thrusts came in hard and fast. And with each thrust Bruce gave him he could feel nothing but a scorching pain searing through his spin. Yet he would never have had it any other way; this sickening ecstasy, the right amount of pain and pleasure that he had always dreamed of.

Batman stopped momentarily only to readjust their position before resuming his thrusts. The Joker was now lying on the bed with one leg over Bruce's shoulder, while the latter stood on one foot and propped the other against the edge of the bed.

As soon as the pleasure began to outweigh the pain, the Joker's voice found its way back. Though his words were incoherent and rarely made sense, a mere mingle of hoarse shouts, groans and curses.

Still thrusting, Bruce leaned down to kiss the Joker. He nibbled on his lips, then moved just below his ears and sucked hard enough for the clown to gasp for more. With one hand still grabbing onto Bruce, the Joker shifted his other toward his neglected hard-on. He wrapped his fingers around his length, and placed his thumb over the pre-cum covered tip. Using his thumb he rubbed his pre-cum along his shaft and began to stroke gruffly until his strokes were steady and matching Bruce's thrusts.

Sensing his limit, Bruce arched his back as he gave one last thrust, before releasing inside the Joker. At that moment, the Joker felt like his insides were set on fire and the air getting stuck in his throat. His fingers dug deep into Bruce's forearm, and his toes curled as he spilled all over his own hand and abdomen.

Bruce briefly stayed inside the Joker as both panted for air. Once he regained some composure, he carefully pulled out and dropped down next to the Joker.

Now that his brain was clearing up, all Bruce could think of was how he had never felt such sensual satisfaction before. He was a man who had the pleasure of bedding several breathtaking ladies, yet none compared to this or even came close enough. None dared him to this level of desire and passion. None really understood him… except the Joker, evidently.

He looked at the said man, who was preoccupied with wiping his hand and abdomen, "Are the records even real?" Bruce asked.

"Of course they are! Have I ever lied to you, Bats?" The Joker questioned with a quirk of an eyebrow, he then grinned and said, "And I bet you've already tied up the facts."

"Harley Quinn." Bruce replied with a deep sigh, "She had access to your files once assigned to you. Treatment history."

"Touché!" The Joker chuckled before a dark look took over his face, "That wench spiked my strawberry milk. I knew it tasted fishy."

"Strawberry milk?"

"The ungrateful floozy tries to kill me and that's what caught your interest? Yes. Strawberry. Milk."

"Like you didn't have it coming."

"You heartless jerk. And right after sealing the deal." The Joker sighed as he wrapped his hands around his bare chest, "I feel used."

Bruce gave the clown a cold look before shifting his head, eyes now staring at the ceiling. He couldn't stop thinking of what they had just done; the forceful entry, the friction caused by skins lubricated by nothing but his own pre-cum. Who was crazy enough to allow that? At that thought he grimaced. From the first thrust he knew he was a goner, and that no one would be able to satisfy him anymore but this madman.

Speaking of the madman, his laughs suddenly- nonetheless classically- began to echo thru the place. Bruce sighed and looked once again to his side to face the laughing maniac.

"And he said, you won't get your way around it this time." The Joker laughed, his palm slamming over and over onto the bed. "Oooooh, my sweet- sweet, Bats. Not just around. Above, below and insssssside."

Bruce's eyebrow twitched for a second. He pulled him self up into a sitting position, "Joker?" He called without looking at the man.

"Hmmmm… perhaps my Bats wants some Jay cuddles?" The Joker grinned as he moved closer to Bruce, "Or maybe you're up to rou- Gyaaaaaaaaaa-AH!"

With a single side punch, Bruce sent the clown flying across the room and without even giving him a second glance. The vigilante stood up while grumbling under his breath, "I would rather take a life-long pledge of abstinence. Idiot clown."

A/N: So how was my first 'fully fledged' M fic? I do apologize if any part sounds weird as I'm not that familiar with the deed and mostly based it from my-manga-and-fanfic-reading experience? xD