Jude quietly stepped in the house, Connor following close behind him, carefully carrying a small bundle of blankets. Inside that bundle of blankets was a small boy, not even fully a week old yet with bright blue eyes, fast asleep. He was Jude and Connor's newly adopted son, Logan Alexander Adams-Foster.
About three months ago, Jude and Connor had just finished certification to receive their fostering license and had been put in contact with a social worker from their area, Jack, and that Wednesday afternoon they were meeting him in his office.
"Jude, Connor," Jack said hurriedly. Jack was a tall, skinny man with dark brown hair that stuck up wildly in every direction. On his face were glasses, perched crookedly on his nose and obscuring his beady eyes. His white dress shirt was haphazardly tucked into his waistline, and the collar was slightly ruffled, one corner turned up and resting against his neck. His whole appearance gave the impression of a harried man with more to do than he could possibly handle, and his office reflected that, with files scattered everywhere on the top of his desk and seemingly random papers lying on the floor.
"Nice to meet you Jack," Jude said gently. From his far too many years of experience in the system, Jude knew that social workers were often asked to do too much. And they almost always fell into two categories; there were the lazy ones who simply didn't care and handled all their cases rapidly and carelessly, and then there were social workers like Jack, who worked themselves to death trying to do the right thing for every child under their responsibility. His dedication to his job meant overlooking some other aspects of his life, such as his appearance or the cleanliness of his office. Those were things he just didn't have time for.
"Nice to meet you too. Now I was told that you two are looking to start fostering?" Jack asked, digging through the files on his desk until he found the one he was looking for, placing it on the top of the pile and opening it up.
"Yes," Jude replied.
"Okay, uh-huh I see," Jack muttered to himself, flipping through a thick notebook on his desk that Jude hadn't noticed before. "Well guys, I only have one case right now that might be suitable for you," Jack frowned, taking off his glasses.
"What's that?" Connor questioned, speaking up for the first time since they arrived.
"I've been assigned to find a couple willing to adopt a newborn," Jack stated. "The biological mother is due in three months and is in jail, with no known relatives to take the baby. Since she's a ward of the state, the child falls under our—well my responsibility."
Jude looked over at his husband thoughtfully; they'd been wanting to become parents for quite some time now, but they were expecting to start with children who were significantly older, possibly around the same age Jude was when he was taken in by the Adams-Fosters. A newborn posed an entirely different challenge and situation.
"What are you thinking?" Jude inquired, observing Connor's face, eyes scrunched up, lips parted with his tongue slightly sticking out, head tilted slightly to the side.
"A newborn, that's uh," Connor paused, "that's really different from what we had talked about."
"I know it is," Jack admitted. "But, if I'm being honest with you two, I'm really desperate here. I've been trying to find someone to adopt this baby for three months, but nobody in this area wants to adopt or even foster a child that young. You guys are my last option. Otherwise we might be looking at putting the baby in an orphanage."
Jude and Connor shared a knowing look for a moment, communicating to each other with their eyes before turning back to Jack.
"No, you won't have to do that," Jude said. "We'll adopt the baby."
So here they were, home with their newborn son. The last three months leading up to this moment had been frantic. Connor read every parenting book he could get his hands on, and Jude was calling his moms (okay, mostly Stef) often, asking about everything they might need to take care of a newborn child. But that hectic period was all over, and a new one was about to begin.
Logan had been with them for a week and Connor felt like he was starting to sleepwalk through every day. The problem was that Logan didn't sleep, at least not really. They'd put him down for bed when he was already sound asleep and an hour later, he'd be screaming at the top of his little lungs. Rarely was it because he needed something other than to be held. As much as Connor loved holding his son in his arms, he hadn't had a good night's sleep since he came home and Connor was exhausted.
Jude wasn't doing much better. As a writer, Jude worked from home, so he was with Logan all day. Whenever he managed to get Logan to fall asleep, Jude would immediately collapse on the armchair in Logan's room and go out cold. But other than a few naps during the day, Jude was doing just the same as Connor.
Right now Jude and Connor were currently enjoying one of the rare moments of silence in their house. They were lying in bed, legs tangled together. Jude was curled up into Connor's side, arms firmly wrapped around his torso and head on his chest. There hadn't been much time for moments like these since they had brought Logan home.
"I'm so tired," Jude mumbled sleepily. Connor didn't respond, so Jude looked up, finding that Connor's eyes had fluttered shut and was snoring softly. Jude chuckled quietly, closing his eyes and endeavoring to join Connor in sleep. But it wasn't to be; Jude heard sniffling start to crackle over the baby monitor on their nightstand. Reluctantly, Jude opened his eyes, untangled himself from Connor and padded down the hall to Logan's room. Hopefully he could get Logan before he started screeching so Connor could keep sleeping. As tired as Jude was, Jude ventured to guess that Connor was at least four times as tired.
"Hey buddy," Jude whispered softly, reaching into the crib and gently picking Logan up, cradling him in his arms and placing a soft kiss to his forehead. "You can't sleep? Yeah, me either, not with your daddy snoring like that," he joked. Jude would never pass up a chance to rib Connor, even if Connor couldn't hear him. Jude shuffled over to the rocking chair and sat down. Jude would've preferred to sit on the armchair, but Logan liked the gentle motion of the rocking chair better.
Connor lumbered in the room as Jude sat down, taking a seat on the armchair.
"What are you doing in here? Go back to bed, you need to get some sleep," Jude instructed.
"I can't sleep when you're not there," Connor shrugged, the motion barely visible in the moonlight room.
"You want to know something Logan?" Jude cooed. "Your daddy is really needy. I think you take after him in that department."
"Ha," Connor snorted. "I don't think he takes after me, I know he does."
"How am I going to handle two needy boys in my house?" Jude mused. "I can hardly handle your daddy already."
"Well I'm a different kind of needy," Connor said slyly.
"Yeah, and with a kid, you're only going to get needier," Jude sighed. They were silent for a while after that. When Jude looked back down at Logan, he found his eyes had closed and he had gone back to sleep. "Oh, I think he's finally back asleep," Jude murmured.
Jude stood up and carefully walked over, laying Logan down in his crib. Connor came over, draping an arm over Jude's shoulder as Jude put his arm around Connor's waist and laid his head on Connor's shoulder. They both gazed down in the crib.
"I love you," they whispered into the crib together.
"Now come on, let's get some sleep while we have the chance," Jude urged.
Five and a half months and Jude and Connor's sleeping patterns were finally starting to return to normal. Logan had started to sleep for at least three or four consecutive hours before he would stir and start crying.
This morning, the whole family was in the kitchen. Jude was currently standing over the stove, making some eggs for him and Connor while Connor was crouched in front of Logan's high chair, attempting to spoon-feed him some mushy-looking food that Connor wasn't entirely sure what it even was.
"Come on buddy, open up," Connor appealed, holding the spoon close to Logan's mouth, which was clamped shut. "Juuuuuuuude, help me," he whined.
"One second," Jude replied, piling the eggs on a plate, setting it on the table and then kneeling next to Connor. "Now are you being stubborn for daddy?" Jude giggled, affectionately rubbing Logan's head.
"Yes he is, that's why I need your help," Connor groaned.
"Okay, the secret is you have to make funny faces while you're trying to feed him," Jude explained. "It makes him laugh so while he is, you can put the spoon in his mouth. Like this."
Jude took the spoon from Connor and then proceeded to make the silliest face Connor could ever recall seeing Jude make. His eyes were wide, eyebrows highly arched, and one corner of his mouth was turned up as his tongue stuck out from between his lips. Connor couldn't keep from giggling and neither could Logan. When he did, Jude deftly guided the spoon into his mouth.
"And there you have it," Jude quipped, "the blueprint on how to get Logan to eat."
"Thanks Jude," Connor replied, quickly pecking him on the cheek as he took the spoon back from his hand. "What would I do without you?"
"Panic, probably," Jude teased.
"No I would not!" Connor protested. "I could raise him all by myself if I had to."
"Okay first of all, yes you would panic," Jude countered. "We haven't been apart for longer than a week since we were fifteen. And second, you'd never have to raise him alone. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you're not," Connor mumbled, avoiding making eye contact with Jude. "But sometimes I get afraid you will. Like maybe the stress of trying to raise a kid and deal with me at the same time gets to be too much for you and then you just take off just like my mom did."
"Connor, look at me," Jude pleaded, squatting down in front of Connor. He put his hand under Connor's chin, gingerly lifting his head up and staring into his eyes. "I'm never going to leave you or Logan, I promise. How could I ever abandon the two men I love more than anything else in the world?"
"My mom promised she wouldn't leave me either but she still did," Connor answered, tears starting to roll down his cheeks.
"Connor," Jude said softly, "we've been together for fourteen years and married for seven. To put it bluntly, if I was going to leave you, I would've done it by now. But I've never thought about it, not even for a fraction of a second. I love you so much and I know I joke about how you wouldn't know what to do without me, but truthfully, I wouldn't know what to do without you either."
"I know I'm just being stupid, I'm sorry," Connor muttered.
"No you're not," Jude argued, wrapping his arms around Connor. "Those feelings that come from being abandoned is not something that just goes away and I understand. I really do and I'll reassure you that I'll be here as many times as you need me to."
"I love you so fucking much," Connor said, burying his head into Jude's neck.
"I love you so much too," Jude laughed. "But uh, can we not swear in front of Logan. I don't want him picking anything up."
"Sorry," Connor replied sheepishly.
"And speaking of Logan, we should probably finish feeding him. He gets really cranky when he's hungry," Jude commented.
"Yeah okay."
Now Logan was eleven months old and was starting to eat on his own. This night, Jude's moms were over at Jude and Connor's house, having dinner with them. Jude and Connor sat on either side of Logan, who was seated in his high chair at the head of the table, and Jude's moms sat next to them. They were all making small talk while Logan babbled all sorts of nonsense in the background.
"So has he said his first word yet?" Lena asked as she munched on the hamburger that Jude had made for dinner, taking note of the constant noise spewing from Logan's mouth.
"No, not yet," Jude answered.
"Though you'd have to think he's close, since he never shuts up," Connor joked.
"Brandon was a lot like that too," Stef remarked.
"Oh really, he was?" Jude questioned.
"Yeah, but his first word was still something really boring. Something like 'mama', I don't remember exactly," Stef shrugged. "We don't know what all our other kids first words were. Unfortunately we didn't have the pleasure of being there for them at that point."
"Though we wish we could've been," Lena added.
"My dad has told me my first word was 'ball', go figure," Connor chuckled. "He was real proud of that."
"Oh I bet he was," Stef groaned.
"Da…da…DADA!" Logan squealed, and everyone turned to look at him.
"What did you just say buddy?" Jude asked.
"Dada," Logan garbled, pointing to Jude as he spoke.
"It's like we summoned his first word by talking about it," Connor noted.
"He's already growing up so fast," Jude sniffled. Next to them, Stef grabbed Lena's hand, laughing quietly to herself.
"It only gets worse from here bubba," Lena assured Jude. "Before you know it he'll be going off to—"
"No don't say it, I'm not ready for that yet," Jude interrupted quickly.
"I just want him to stay little like this forever," Connor sighed.
"Welcome to what being a parent is like," Stef reflected, patting Connor on the back. "It's a constant battle with yourself to let go. But you two have a while yet before you have to worry about that. Just don't blink."
Well, they must have blinked because all of the sudden, Logan was turning four, with all the destructive capabilities of a hurricane packed into his little three foot frame. This particular afternoon, they were chasing him around the house, trying to get him dressed to head over to Jude's moms' house for his fourth birthday party.
"He hasn't even taken his nap yet, how does he still have this much energy?" Jude panted, slowing to a halt. They'd been going in circles around the house for twenty minutes with no progress to show for it and Jude was severely out of breath. Connor however, hadn't broken a sweat yet and raced past him, scooping Logan up in his arms and carrying him back to his room.
"Daddy!" Logan squealed, wriggling in Connor's arms.
"I think you're just out of shape," Connor teased over Logan's protests, which elicited a playful shove from Jude.
"Sorry that my job doesn't involve me working out all the time," Jude sassed, following Connor into the room.
"You say that like you think it's a bad thing," Connor smirked.
"Oh it's not," Jude shot back. "It's absolutely nothing to complain about, especially when we're in bed. I enjoy the view immensely."
"Umm Jude," Connor said nervously. "Do you really think we should be talking about this in front of Logan? He's starting to get to the age where he might understand what we're saying."
"Mmm, you're right," Jude conceded. "So somebody is going to have to start watching what they say."
"Hey, don't be looking at me!" Connor protested, trying to pull Logan's shirt down over his head. "You're the one that was just talking about 'enjoying the view'!"
"Maybe I did, but you're the one that started it," Jude needled.
"There, finally!" Connor exclaimed in relief. "He's all dressed, now let's hit the road!" Logan went tearing out of the room and Jude scowled.
"Great, now we have to go catch him again," Jude sighed.
"No we don't," Connor grinned, leading Jude to the house's front door. "Logan! We're going to grandmas'!"
"Gammas' yay!" Logan shrieked, sprinting up to Connor and Jude.
"Well, good to know that he likes his grandmas better than his daddies," Jude giggled.
"No I don't!" Logan asserted, squirming as Jude tried to buckle him into his car seat.
"Shh, it's okay buddy," Jude shushed (Logan generally shouted whenever he spoke). "That's what grandmas are for."
After that, it was a silent ride from their house to the Adams-Foster house. They were the first ones to arrive. The instant they were in the door, Logan was tearing off into the kitchen.
"Gams! Gamma!" he screamed, disappearing around the corner.
"We're hardly going to see him the rest of day, aren't we?" Connor chortled.
"I think so," Jude laughed. "Between moms, Mariana, and Callie he'll be busy with them all day. But you can bet he'll love every second of the attention."
"Maybe while he's occupied, you and I should sneak off for a while," Connor said, grinning crookedly.
"Connor, it's his birthday!" Jude quipped.
"It's not like he's going to notice," Connor whined. "Besides, it's been two weeks!"
"Get used to it," Stef commented as she walked past and Connor whimpered while Jude blushed.
"Mom!" Jude hissed. He loved his moms dearly and felt comfortable talking about a lot of things with them, but his sex life with his husband was not one of those things.
"Hey, I'm just giving you the cold hard facts," Stef shrugged. "But you know if you ever get too desperate, your mama and I would be happy to take him off your hands for a few hours."
"Come on, we should let him stay for the night tonight," Connor said, pressuring Jude.
"Might I repeat Connor, it's his birthday," Jude growled.
"Can I stay can I stay pwease dad, pwease pwease pwease!" Logan begged, tugging on the hem of Jude's shirt.
"Yeah, 'pwease dad?'" Connor joined in, giving Jude his puppy dog eyes.
"Sure buddy," Jude caved.
"Yay!" Logan shouted, excitedly jumping up and down.
"You still have some of his clothes here?" Jude added, turning to Stef.
"Yes love, we have it all taken care of," Stef said dismissively, taking Logan's hand and leading him back into the kitchen as he chattered away excitedly. Connor turned and pressed a kiss to Jude's jaw.
"Mmph, we haven't even left yet Connor," Jude moaned. "We still have the party, remember?"
"Ugh," Connor whimpered again as Mariana and Callie walked in the front door behind them.
A/N: The rest of the party will be in the next part :)