Chapter 30: Hope is Painful

*Seiya*

It was time for the Outer Senshi and the Shitenou to leave. Seiya could care less about Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna. However, she respected the Shitenou who had been willingly serving her people. They sacrificed time with the ones they loved to do so... Love… Love was a touchy subject. Her mind wondered as she walked out to see the Shitenou off with Taiki and Yaten. She could feel the barrier Kiyoko had put between them and so Seiya knew her mind was her own and so she could think whatever she wanted. Not that she wanted to admit it, Seiya still loved Kiyoko deep in her heart. She knew that she always would. She always had. But the pain in her heart… The wounds were too entrenched for Seiya to act on that love. Would that change? Right now, she didn't have answer to that question and wasn't sure if she ever would. Yaten swore and it brought Seiya out of fog of her thoughts. Looking ahead she saw the reason for Yaten's attitude.

Apparently they were early. The only people out there were Haruka and Michiru. Even Setsuna was nowhere to be seen. Seiya in her mind too. This was the last thing she wanted, unfortunately it was clear that she and the others had been seen. She felt Taiki's arm on hers, "We can go back Seiya. They'll understand." Seiya saw a sense of pleading in Taiki's eyes. Seiya was sure that Taiki just wanted them to leave without incident. So she stood there, as if she were frozen while she considered Taiki's words.

As fate would have it, Seiya saw a similar exchange going on between Haruka and her lover by the ship. No matter how much she may regret it later, Seiya felt if Haruka had something to say to her then she couldn't just walk away. Her decision made, Seiya broke free of Taiki's arm and strode forward to the ship and the two Senshi who had the largest hand in ruining her happiness…. Not that she was absolving Kiyoko… Or Setsuna…

When she reached the two of them, Seiya could feel Taiki and Yaten on her flanks. She wasn't sure if they would try and stop her if it came to violence. However, she wasn't sure she cared either way. Haruka stood across from her with her arms crossed and Michiru at her right side. She spoke in that husky voice she used on Seiya, "What do you want Seiya? I know you aren't here for some heart felt goodbye."

"That's for damn sure," Seiya snapped back at her, unconsciously mirroring her posture. She spoke frankly, "We came to say goodbye to Kunzite and the others. They're honorable men who deserve our respect." She allowed the implication of that to hang in the air.

Haruka felt Seiya's words cut her like a blade, though she would never show it. It was an echo of her own thoughts when she had said goodbye to Kiyoko…. The thought of her brought her words back to Haruka's mind...

… If she does not forgive me then I will spend eternity waiting and hoping….

The idea of Kiyoko alone like that frustrated Haruka to no end. She could not and would never be the one to be by Kiyoko's side, not to mention the way she had wronged Seiya. Regardless she hated that Seiya was too prideful to get over herself and tell Kiyoko she still loved her. Haruka was one hundred percent sure she did. So she snapped, "You talk about honor, yet when things got tough you walked away from a beautiful rose with the purest of hearts… from the woman you love and pledged your life to when you married her." She knew it was a low blow, but it was reflex.

"You have NO RIGHT to talk to me about Kiyoko," Seiya snapped back as her hands balled into fists at her sides. Haruka's words made her angry, yet they filled her with guilt at the same time.

Seiya was right, to some extent anyway. Haruka hated that thought. Nonetheless, she may have promised Kiyoko not to come between her and Seiya but she also promised to continue looking out for her. Some people may see her remark as the former, however she saw it as the latter. Haruka wanted Seiya to get past this pain and make Kiyoko happy again. She knew Seiya was the only one who could. Still, she couldn't bring herself to be open with Seiya as she was with Michiru and Kiyoko. It would never happen. So her brutal side tended to take over as she tried to make points to Seiya. She arched an eyebrow at Seiya and asked her, "I have no right? Maybe, maybe not. Nevertheless, I have a responsibility. She is one of the royal line I serve and very precious to me. Likewise, her happiness means something to ME." Her emphasis on the last word may have been a bit much. It was out there now at any rate.

Seiya's blood was at a boil by this point. As a result, she yelled, "Are you trying to say that I don't care about her happiness?" She could feel the reason leaving her, but she wasn't sure she cared at this point.

Haruka could see the potential for violence in Seiya and was ready to summon her space sword if necessary. Her retort was sharp, "Do you? She stands alone, crying over you day after day with no end in sight. Yet you can't swallow your pride."

Seiya was just about to give in to her rage and punch Haruka right across the jaw when she heard Usagi's commanding voice, "ENOUGH! This is pointless and it ends now!" It was not often that Usagi used that voice. Seiya never felt that it suited her.

She saw Haruka and Michiru go rigid and bow to Usagi. Somewhere inside Seiya was amused by the sight. When she turned she saw Usagi, wearing a long pink gown that flowed, followed closely by the four Shitenou carrying their bags. Setsuna walked at the rear of the group, her face a mask for stone. Seiya wondered where Kiyoko was. She was positive that Kiyoko wouldn't let them leave without a goodbye.

Usagi and the others reached them and she hugged each of the Shitenou. Then she turned to the Outer Senshi. Pluto had come to stand with the other two which didn't surprise Seiya at all. She spoke to them with a formality that also what not common for Usagi, "Make sure that you all get back to Earth alright. I cannot say what kind of reception you'll receive, nonetheless it is where you belong. I will see you in about a week." Her eyes zeroed in on Haruka, "Please remember that words can do as much damage as action Uranus." Then she shifted her attention toward Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten, "Let's get back to preparing things for my trip back with Kiyoko and the Life Crystal."

Seiya was flabbergasted at Usagi's coolness towards Haruka and the others. Usagi was kind to a fault. She must be immensely pissed off at them to act this way. Usagi began walking back to the castle, giving the Starlights a look that clearly instructed them to follow her. When Seiya looked at Taiki and Yaten they were obviously in shock too. The three of them exchanged shrugs and started following Usagi. When there was just a bit of distance between the group and the ship, Seiya looked behind her and felt her anger still stabbing her heart like a white-hot poker. Seiya may forgive Kiyoko one day, but she would never forgive Haruka.

*Kiyoko*

…. Two days later…

She found them playing around the great fountain. Kiyoko stood and watched her girls. Ruka manipulating the water and trying to spray Michiko with it. Michiko moving in a blur to get out of the way. Yes, Kiyoko had been blessed with the most amazing children. She had spent most of the last two days in her room. The only ones who had come to see her were Usagi, Taiki, and young Michiko. Michiko had come to see her once and Kiyoko had told her newest daughter to go and spend time with Seiya and the others. Kiyoko felt that was important, more important than her own needs at the moment. Usagi had come to check on Kiyoko, but was mostly respectful of her desire to be alone. Taiki had come by twice and the two talked briefly. Taiki still could not say she understood Kiyoko's choices, but she wanted her to know that she supported her as queen. Kiyoko could not express her depth of gratitude for that support.

Michiko caught sight of Kiyoko first and moved in that same blur of motion to approach her. She stopped and smiled at her mother, "Good afternoon mother. Ruka and I were just playing around, practicing our skills." She must had seen the pain that still lined Kiyoko's features because she followed up her statement by asking, "Is everything okay?"

Kiyoko reached out and ruffed Michiko's hair just a little, trying to banish that pain from her exterior, "Do not worry about me sweetheart. I am glad you and Ruka are getting along."

Just then, Ruka came to stand by Michiko and she bowed curtly, "Good afternoon mother," Ruka not calling Kiyoko mamma cut her and she knew it. She went on with a frank look and tone, "Michiko and I are getting doing just fine. I don't blame the innocent for anyone else's mistakes."

Kiyoko deserved that. She fought against letting that pain out and replied, "That is good Ruka. You are going to be an excellent big sister to Michiko." She saw Michiko shifting uncomfortably. It was obvious that Michiko had taken on a more reserved personality than Ruka would ever possess. Inhaling, Kiyoko told her daughters, "Your grandmother and I are leaving at first light tomorrow and so I wanted to see you before I left. I promise to return as quickly as possible." Her eyes shifted as she said, "Michiko, I want you to spend some time with your Papa, she is the best parent you could ask for."

Michiko nodded, "I will mother. We've started spending time together already, but thank you." She paused, sparing a glance for Ruka before hugging Kiyoko, "Be safe mother. I love you." Just as quickly she pulled away and was gone in that blur she liked to move in.

That left Ruka and Kiyoko standing there, staring at one another. Kiyoko was not certain of what she should say. One of the things Kiyoko was doing to make amends to everyone was to keep her powers to herself as much as she could. As a result, she could see the anger and pain on Ruka but could not sense it. It was Ruka who ended up breaking the silence, "Have a safe journey mother." Tears threatened her eyes as she continued, "I want you to know that I do still love you, but I can't forgive you for everything that happened… Not yet anyway… Goodbye." She ran off as fast as her feet would take her, Kiyoko staring after her as she stood there fighting back her own tears.

*Seiya*

In spite of herself, Seiya went with Taiki and Yaten to see Kiyoko and Usagi off. It was sunrise and when she walked toward the two beings of the Silver Millennium, Seiya couldn't help but be dazzled by Kiyoko's beauty as the light hit her. Damn, she thought to herself. She was still so angry, yet here she was unable to keep herself from being captivated. Finally, they reached the two and she saw Usagi holding a small satchel of purple with golden symbols on it. Seiya recognized it as a protective spell that Kiyoko must has cast for their journey.

Usagi smiled at the Starlights and addressed them gently, all traces of that firm royalty from the day the Outers left gone, "Thank you for coming to see us off. You didn't have to do that." Her eyes locked with Seiya's for the briefest of seconds.

Seiya shook her head, "Of course we did Odango." She grabbed Usagi into a tight hug that made her laugh. As soon as Seiya set her down, Taiki and even the cold Yaten followed suit.

Kiyoko cleared her throat and addressed the three of them, "Thank you. It means a great deal to me that you came." She paused and chewed her lip the way Seiya knew she did when something serious was on her mind or she was worried. Then Kiyoko told them, "You have something to consider…. I have given this much thought…. I will always watch over Estara. It is my home. But I am entrusting the three of you with deciding whether or not you still want me to rule here." She folded her hands at her waist, fiddling with her fingers like she did when she was nervous. Seiya wasn't sure whether to be amused or irritated at how well she knew Kiyoko's mannerisms. Then what Kiyoko said sunk in.

Seiya looked around at Taiki, Yaten, and Usagi. They all looked as stunned as she felt, perhaps Usagi even more so. She spoke before she realized it, "You would step down from the throne?" The sight of Kiyoko nodding in response knocked the wind out of Seiya.

It was Taiki who spoke next, "That is ridiculous my queen. As I told you, I do not understand every choice you made. Regardless, there is no one else I wish to serve." She bent to one knee before Kiyoko.

Yaten looked at Seiya, clearly unsure of what to say or do. Swallowing her shock, Seiya replied to Kiyoko, "You are a good queen. I took an oath to serve you and I stand by that." It felt strange, but Seiya was genuine with her words. She joined Taiki, despite the pain it caused her.

"I will continue to serve you as I have your Majesty," was all that Yaten said as she joined the others.

Seiya saw Usagi's proud expression as her eyes gazed upon the Starlights. She was acknowledging her pride in their continued commitment. It was just like Usagi to say so much with only a smile. When Seiya looked at Kiyoko there were tears on her cheeks. She spoke firmly as her eyes locked with Seiya's, "Do not serve me. Serve our people. Now please stand." She turned her eyes to Usagi, "We should go mother. There is much to be done." Usagi nodded at her.

They all stood, Taiki going over and giving Kiyoko a hug that she returned tightly. Seiya saw Yaten bow, but she made no move to hug their queen. When Taiki stepped back the two of them nodded and turned to leave without Seiya.

Kiyoko looked at Seiya and Seiya could swear there was longing in her sorrowful deep blue eyes. She spoke in a timid voice, looking at Seiya as if no one else existed, "I am sorry… For everything. I always have and always will love you Seiya. I am prepared to spend eternity showing you that. Goodbye my love."

She watched, speechless, as Kiyoko took Usagi's hand and the two of them disappeared in a spiral of silver and golden light. Seiya couldn't stop herself from staring up after them, her heart torn but happy to hear Kiyoko call Seiya her love. She hoped Kiyoko meant what she said. Seiya had a feeling Kiyoko's resolve would be tested sooner rather than later. Turning to head back to the castle, Seiya wiped the tears she had kept away until she was alone.

…. Until we meet again….

The End

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has continued to stick with Kiyoko, Seiya, and everyone else through this difficult leg of their journey. I hope you will continue to hang around as there is more to come! Please feel free to leave a review or drop me a message with your thoughts on this story or any other part of the series!