The 3 Drunk Bears.
Grizz, Panda and Ice Bear strolled down the city streets on a Saturday night.
It was almost 8 PM and the bear brothers were looking for a way to end the night in the best way possible.
"Hey, you guys wanna see a movie?" Grizz inquired.
"We've already seen all the movies the theatre is playing." Panda said shaking off the idea as they passed the movie theater.
"Aww..." Grizz scoffed. They turned the corner and were caught off guard by the busy traffic and crowds.
Grizz looked to his side at an alley that lead to the woods and their home.
"Hey look! Here's a shortcut bros!" He motioned for his brothers to follow him.
They walked into the alley behind the movie theatre in lieu of the city streets. The alley they walked into was darker and muggy.
There were cats and trash everywhere. Panda looked around in disgust.
"Uhhhhhh...Why are we walking through this disgusting alley again?" He asked as he stepped over the various debris and trash that was scattered all over the place.
"Just a little shortcut, that's all." Grizz reassured him.
Ice Bear looked in disgust at a cat eating a fish carcass on the ground.
"Ice Bear feels unsafe." He muttered.
Just as the bears were about to head out of the alley they heard the sound of trash rustling and a loud thud.
The bears jumped in shock and looked over to see a small, dirty man sitting on the ground next to a dumpster.
He had a long grey beard and wore tattered clothing. He looked at the bears and his eyes widened.
"Ohh no! Bears! They've finally come to get me!" He got up and prepared to run when Grizz stepped in front of him with his paws out.
"Woah, there friend! Take it easy, we're not gonna hurt you!" His soothing, deep voice calmed the man.
"Ice Bear won't make any promises"
The man sat back down and sighed.
"What a relief!" His speech was slurred and sloppy and he reaked of a smell the bears were unfamiliar with.
He pulled out a bottle from his coat pocket and took a huge chug from it.
Grizz looked at the bottle with curiousity.
"Say, friend, what's in that bottle there?" He asked.
"Oh, this bottle?" The Man looked at the label that said "WHISKEY" in big bold letters.
"Uh, I think this is uh, some kind of juice?..." He slurred.
Panda sniffed it and gagged in disgust.
"That's some funky smelling juice..." He said.
Grizz took a few steps closer to the man.
"Mind If i try some?" He politely asked.
"Well, sure!..." The man held the bottle out to Grizz who anxiously grabbed it. He looked at it with excitement.
"Wuuuhh...wer...wooo..." He couldn't make out what the label said. With a shrug Grizz wiped the top of bottle off and took a huge chug.
His eyes widened and his cheeks turned red. He swallowed the 'juice'.
"Woah!" He shook his head and stuck his tongue out. His eyes started to water.
Panda grabbed his arm.
"Woah, Grizz you okay?"
Grizz rubbed his cheeks. Ice Bear then grabbed the bottle out of Grizzs hand and sniffed it.
Without hesitation then took a huge chug of it. His eyes widened but he kept his composure like he always does.
He let out small tiny coughs and then handed the bottle to Panda who looked at it doubtfully.
Grizz stood up and grabbed the wall for support.
"Woah, you guys, this juice is uh... really something!" He said.
"What flavor is-" the man who gave Grizz the bottle was gone.
"Huh..."
Panda looked at the bottle in disgust.
"Guys, I don't think I wanna drink this..it smells weird."
"Ice Bear feels tingly."
Grizz walked over to Panda and nudged him.
"Just try it, Panpan!" He smiled "Trust me, it's great!"
Panda sniffed the liquid then gagged slightly.
"I dunno Grizz...I have a bad feeling about this."
He looked at the bottle nervously.
"Ice Bear wants more" Ice Bear grabbed the bottle and took another gulp of the 'juice'
"Hey! I haven't even had any yet!" Panda angrily grabbed the bottle out of his brothers hand and took a huge drink out of it.
His cheeks turned red and he began coughing violently.
"Aghh! That is the weirdest juice I have ever had!" Panda yelled.
"Wait-wait-wait-wait!" Grizz grabbed the bottle out of Panda's hand. "My turn!"
Grizz took another King sized chug from the bottle.
"Hey! You're gonna drink it all! Save me some!" Panda once again took a gulp from the bottle.
"Ice Bear still feels tingly."
The brothers each took turns passing the bottle around taking gigantic bear approved chugs of the 'juice' that was actually a highly intoxicating alcoholic beverage.
Chug after chug the bears gulped the liquid down until it was no more.
Grizz flipped the empty bottle over and only drips leaked out.
"Awh...its empty!" He said. They all groaned.
"Well...I guess we'll take this party to the cave!" Grizz exclaimed. "Let's go home!"
The bear brothers nodded in agreement and left the alley and continued walking home.
As Panda was walking he began to feel funny. His vision was starting to get blurry and he was having trouble walking.
Ice Bear began stumbling quite a bit.
"Woah...guys..I dont feel so..." Panda zigged and zagged as he walked. "Good.."
Ice Bear's legs started feeling wobbly. He began to feel dizzy and light-headed.
"Hang in there bros..we're.. almost.. there." Grizz said, his voice beginning to slur.
They finally approached the cave. Panda stumbled to the front door and walked right into it face first.
"Woah, Pan-pan..you alright?" Grizz said to his little brother, his voice warped.
Panda looked up at Grizz who looked foggy, and out of focus.
"Did I lose my contacts?" Panda patted his eye only to discover his contacts were indeed in and his vision really was this blurry.
Meanwhile, Grizz attempted to open the door.
"You guys...have a.. weird feeling going on in your body right now?" Grizz said as he struggled to open the door.
"Ice Bear feels like soup. And not the good kind."
Grizz suddenly couldn't keep his composure. After 5 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to open the door he became upset.
"The door..I cant..the door.. won't...it won't open!" He yelled angrily.
"Woah, Grizz, your voice is .. you sound weird.." Panda said.
"Wha..?" Ice Bear walked over to Grizz who was swaying back and forth with a lost look on his face. He shook his head.
"Wa...the door!" Grizz stumbled to the door and observed it. Panda hobbled over to where Grizz was standing and grabbed his shoulders.
"Why..why can't..you,o-open this door, Grizz? Can you..tellmewhy?.."Panda's words began slurring together. Grizz angrily began beating on the door.
"HEEY! LET ME IN!" He yelled.
Ice Bear awkwardly stumbled to them and pushed them both aside..Panda fell on his back.
"Heyyy..you big meanie." He uttered incoherently as he kicked his legs.
"Ice bear..can *HICCUP* open door." Ice Bear marched over to the door.
After a deep breath he kicked the door down then fell face first into the living room of the cave.
Grizz took a step over Ice Bear and entered the cave.
Panda followed as they stumbled into the room and hobbled around like drunkards.
Grizz made his way to the kitchen and looked around in confusion.
"Wha...why did I come in here again?" He said.
Ice Bear then crawled into the kitchen followed by a wobbly Panda bear.
"Pick up...Bear. Ice Bear..." Ice Bear held up his arms and Grizz stomped over to him and looked down.
"Hey, there buddy! Whatca doin' way down there?" He laughed.
"Room spinning..." Ice Bear said. His head moved in circles as he watched the room spin. Panda opened the fridge.
"Guuuyyys. My hands are...wait, what?" He looked at Grizz who was walking around aimlessly.
"What was I saying?" Panda said.
Grizz stumbled over to Panda and put his big bear arms around his neck.
"Panda...you know what... Panda, You...you...are a great bear." He said.
"But-" Panda started before Grizz put his finger over his mouth.
"Shhhh..." He started.
"Hush little panda...don't say a word..." Grizz hugged Panda tightly and rocked him back and forth.
Ice Bear picked himself back up. He felt as if he were walking on a tight-wire.
As his brothers sang to each other in a drunk stupor he stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
He saw 6 different blurry images of himself slowly rotating in a circle. He began to feel a sinking feeling in his gut.
He ran to the toilet as he felt his throat grow warm.
He got on his knees and held his head over the toilet bowl. His mouth started salivating and he felt his chest getting tight.
"Ice Bear..." He started.."Ice Bear's going to-*BUURRP!*"
Suddenly Grizz burst into the room.
"Vomit." Ice Bear began puking into the toilet.
Grizz gasped.
"ICEyyyyy!" He ran to his brother who seemed to be in peril.
"Bear! Ice Bear, can I call you that?" He said as he knelt next to his puking sibling.
Ice Bear looked at him in disgust.
"Get...out." He choked.
"But Ice- I-"
"ICE BEAR SAID GET OUT!" For the first time ever Ice Bear raised his voice at Grizz.
His hair stood on end and his eyes were red. Grizz backed away.
Panda then came rushing into the room.
"HEYYYY! hey, hey...hey...hey. Whatssssss going on in here?"
"He's being mean to me!" Grizz pointed his finger at Ice Bear.
Ice Bear angrily stood up and pushed both the brothers out of the bathroom and slammed the door.
"What's his problem?" Grizz said his body leaning against the wall. Panda held his arm.
"Grizz, you ..don't look too good..Are you okay?" Panda said.
Grizz grabbed Panda's shoulders.
"Panda...Pandy... Pan-man.." He burped as he pat his brother on the head.
"I have..*BURP* never felt better!" He said.
By this point the two brothers were completely intoxicated.
They floundered down the hall , bumping into various objects, crashing into each other and laughing the entire time.
Grizz stumbled into Panda's room. He plopped onto the ground and Panda walked in soon after, only to tumble right into him.
"Heyyy. Watch where you're *BURP* going!" Panda roared and his wobbly body tried to maneuever around the Grizzly Bear.
"Youuuuuu...watch where YOOOOOU'RE going!" Grizz poked Panda in the forehead. He spoke so loudly he was spitting on Panda's face.
"Hey!" Panda shoved Grizz off of him who tumbled over face down into the floor. He groaned loudly. Panda observed him.
"Grizz?..."
"Woah..."Grizz uttered. He lifted his head up. His face began turning green.
"idontfeelgood.."Grizz said.
Panda looked at him. He was looking down at the ground with his eyes closed tightly. His stomache began making loud grumbling noises.
"Ohhh, no Grizzz!" Panda yelled as he leaped over to Grizz's lap and right as he landed Grizz projectile vomited all over Panda.
"Woah, dude!" Panda yelled in horror, vomit dripping off his arms.
"Awh, gross!" He yelled as he wiped the bile off him. He looked back at Grizz who appeared to be in discomfort. He crawled to him.
"Grizz..speak to me!" Panda yelled. He grabbed Grizz's face and rubbed his cheeks.
"Come on buddy...Who's a big, strong bear?" He said soothingly.
"...err...riiiiramm." Grizz muttered half consciously, unable to keep his head up.
"I SAID WHO'S A BIG, STRONG BEAR!" Panda yelled and shook Grizz's cheeks vigorously.
Suddenly Grizz's eyes shot open and he became alert once again.
"..I am!" He yelled. "I am a big strong bear!"
"Then let's go!" Panda stood up. His stomache then began to turn.
"Oh, wait, nevermind.." Before Panda could take one step he violently puked onto the floor. Grizz watched in horror.
"Oh, no, my baby brother!" He ran over to Panda and held his ears back. They stumbled and tumbled all over the room as Panda repeatedly threw up everywhere. There were piles and piles of vomit all over Panda's floor, bed and walls. After about 5 minutes of this they both fell onto the ground again. Panda was panting heavily.
"You...you done?" Grizz said.
Panda let out a loud long burp followed by a few hiccups.
"Ah...I'm...*HICCUP* Am I going to die?..." Panda murmured incoherently.
"I won't let you die on me, Pan-pan." Grizz assured him.
Grizz and Panda both layed on the ground and looked up at the ceiling. They were a mess. They reaked of vomit, their fur was mangled and messy, and they were both muttering nonsense.
"Grizz...whats...happening to us?" Panda said.
"I don't *BURRRRP* know little bro..." He lifted himself up.
"Grizz..I ..I have *BURP* a confession...to make..*HICCUP*" Panda began.
"Whats...that little Panda man?"
"I...*hiccup* I ..I'm jealous of you." He covered his face.
Grizz turned to his brother.
"...*BUUURRRRRPPP* Woah..sorry...Wait..what? You're jealous of me?" Grizz slurred.
"You're so confident and kind, and brave, and loud, and brave...and you talk a lot, and you're a good brother and I'm glad you're here, cause I'm a terrible brother." Panda said, his voice sloppy and indistinct.
Grizz turned to his brother with tears coming out of his eyes.
"Awwwh, Pan-pan..don't say things like that...you're special...and beautiful..and everybody likes Pandas..." He sighed.
"Nobody likes Grizzly bears..." He said putting his head down.
"What?..What..do you mean by that?..." Panda asked.
"Face it, bro. I'm not cute..I'm...I'm grisly...I'm a Grizzly Bear! Grrrrrrrr..." He began to sob.
"Grizz, are you crying?..." He said.
Grizz sniffled and wiped tears from his eyes.
"I try...SO HARD...to be nice to people.." He was sobbing.
"and nobody ever wants to come have juice with me! Why, Panda?..What's wrong with me?" He blubbered.
"NOBODY LIKES MEEEEEE!" He hid his face and cried.
Panda scooted over to him and rested his paw on Grizz's belly.
"Grizz, that's not true. " Panda said. "I like you." He smiled at his big brother as he wiped snot from his nose.
"Actually...I would even say that..I dunno..." Panda blushed "I love you."
Grizz smiled behind the tears and mucus all over his face.
"Aww...baby bro...I love you t-"
They were interuptted by a loud slam. They both looked up and Ice Bear was standing in the doorway staring at them with huge eyes.
"What's up bro?" Grizz said.
Ice Bear fell to his knees and his his face behind his hands.
"ICE BEAR IS FEELING FEELINGS HE DOESN'T WANT TO FEEL." He cried.
"Woah..."Panda looked up at his crying little brother.
Grizz crawled over to him.
"What are these feelings brother? Tell me!" He held Ice Bear's hand.
"Ice Bear feels...Happy...but sad...and love..."
Grizz and Panda both exchanged confused glances.
"Ice Bear...loves you..." Ice Bear grabbed his brothers and hugged them tightly.
"Ice Bear is bad with emotions but Ice Bear wants to show you he loves you as much as you love Ice Bear." His voice was intensely emotional. More emotional than he had sounded in a very long time. He was crying.
"Woah, bro, I've never seen this side of you!" Grizz chuckled.
"Ice Bear loves you Grizz and Panda." Ice Bear cried, his usual monotone voice replaced by an emotional,incoherent drunk one.
He kissed his brothers on the cheeks and held them in one tight, warm embrace.
"You...you know what bros?..." Grizz said.
Panda and Ice turned thier attention to their grizzliest brother.
"I think there *HICCUP* may have been something in that juice."
"You think so?..." A wasted Panda asked.
"Let's just take this one step at a time.." The Bears stood up together, there arms all linked to one another.
"And enjoy this night as...*BURRRRP* brothers.." The bears exited the bedroom cheering and laughing.
"LET'S PARTYYYYYYYYY!" They cheered as they rushed into the living room.
Grizz was awakened by a harsh ray of light beaming right into his face. His eyes were still closed. His body felt stiff and worn out.
"Wa..." He tried to open his eyes but they were stuck shut. His mouth felt like he had cotton balls in it. He rolled over and heard the rustling of trash and papers.
"Whuh?.." He rubbed his eyes for a moment then finally managed to open them.
"Ahhh!" He covered his face as he was blinded by a flash of white. His head began pounding and his stomach was in knots. He rubbed his head in anguish.
"Woah..what happened last night?" His blurry vision finally cleared. Grizz was laying in the middle of the kitchen floor in a bed of garbage. The dining table was tipped over, there were juice bottles and candy wrappers all over the place. A trash can from outside was brought back in at some point and made it's way to the kitchen sink that was overflowing with dirty water. Grizz shakily stood up. His back popped several times as he rose up. He was still a little wobbly and dizzy. He yawned and stretched.
"What in the-" He observed the mess he found himself in. His brothers were no where in sight.
"Panda?" He yelled. Their cave was an absolute mess. He even noticed broken glass on the ground. All he could smell was vomit and alcohol. He cautiously entered the living room where tv was on the floor (still on) and Panda was unconscious in the middle of the floor sprawled out and snoring loudly. Grizz ran over to him and shook him awake.
"Hey..Pan-pan..get up.." He shook his brother who slowly lifted his heavy head up.
"Hey, Pan-pan..good morning sunhine!" Grizz rubbed his on the back. Panda sat up and stretched out arms. He yawned and wiped his eyes with his paws. When he stopped, a large black smudge had smeared all the way down his face.
"Woah! Panda, what happened to your eye?!" Grizz exclaimed.
Panda looked at his paw which was covered in black. He gasped.
Suddenly Grizz realized this wasn't Panda. He began to laugh.
At some point during the night, someone had taken a black Sharpie and drew Panda marks on Ice Bear while he was sleeping.
"Ice Bear doesn't find this funny." He said wiping the black smudges off his eyes.
"Hahahah! Well, you know what they say! Don't pass out when there's markers about!" Grizz laughed as he walked to find the real Panda.
"Panda?..Panda!" He yelled across the cave. Ice Bear got up and headed towards the bathroom. He felt sick to his stomach and had a pounding headache.
He entered the little bears room and opened the shower curtain to prepare an icy bath. He gasped and jumped back.
Panda was laying asleep in the bathtub with confetti, toilet paper and crazy string all over him. His phone was still in his hand and one of the bears had taped his eyelids open. Ice Bear giggled. Grizz poked his head into the room.
"Yo, seen Panda?" He asked. Ice Bear jerked his head towards the tub and Grizz walked in. He took one look at Panda and erupted into laughter. Grizz's booming laughter immediately startled Panda who awoke instantly.
"Ahhh!" He yelled as he frantically tried to get up, but kept slipping in the tub.
"Wait.." He felt the toilet paper on his head.
"Whaaaat is going on..what happened..? My head is pounding...my stomach feels all gooey..and I feel like I got hit by a bus." Panda brushed the debris off his body.
"What? Is this tape?" He peeled the pieces of tape off his eyelids.
"You guys are jerks." He mumbled with embarassment.
Panda stepped out of the bathtub. He, Grizz and Ice Bear all walked up to the mirror and observed themselves. Ice Bear grimaced and covered his nose. Grizz lifted up his arm and smelled himself.
"Whooo!" He yelled in disgust. "Think we partied a little too hard last night boys." He said.
"You're tellin' me.."Panda was still picking silly string out of his fur.
"Ice Bear feels like he should have regrets." He continued wiping the Panda marks from his face.
"Ice Bear also demands to know who soiled his perfect face."
"Ohh, no!" Panda groaned.
"What? What is it?" Grizz turned to his brother who was shuffling through photos on his cellphone.
"What happened last night?" He exclaimed as he browsed through photos of him, Grizz and Ice Bear getting into insane antics. There was a photo of Ice Bear riding Grizz like a pony, a photo of Panda sobbing hysterically, a photo Grizz chugging 3 two liters simultaneously and a photo of Ice Bear in a bikini.
His face turned bright red.
"Ice Bear honestly doesn't know." He quipped.
"Woah! I don't remember any of this do you guys?" Panda asked.
Grizz and Ice shook their heads.
Panda continued swiping through the photos when he stumbled across a video.
"Huh?" He pressed play. His brothers squeezed next to him to watch.
The video began with the frame focusing on Panda, who was passed out on the bathroom floor. At this point he was already covered in silly string and could hear loud music in the background, and the sound of Ice Bear laughing.
"Are you...laughing?" Grizz looked at Ice Bear who had an annoyed look on his face.
"You sound weird when you laugh. I guess thats why..you never do." He said. The video kept playing.
'take-take his arm...grab his arm...!' Grizz's was the one holding the phone and taking the video. He turned it around and waved drunkenly. After putting the focus back to Panda, Ice Bear stepped into the frame. He had a sock around his ear and a black dress on.
"Where did you get a dress?" Panda asked.
"Ice Bear has his ways." he said before grimacing at the sight of himself.
'You owe Ice Bear big time..' Ice Bear picked up his sleeping brother and tossed him into the bathtub not phasing the Panda one bit.
"What? When did this happen?" Panda exclaimed his face turning red. Grizz and Ice Bear giggled at the video.
"Looks like Pan-Pan was the first to go!" Grizz nudged him jokingly. Panda rolled his eyes. The video continued on.
Ice Bear walked really close to the camera. He was wobbling around and appeared to be having trouble keeping his eyes open.
'You okay bro?' Grizz's voice was heard again.
Ice Bear hiccuped loudly and held up his hand.
'Ice Bear...demands to be carried...' before Ice could finish his sentence he fell onto the ground. The camera panned down to the bear who fell at Grizz's feet.
'Ice?' Grizz poked his head with his paw but he was passed out. Grizz turned the camera to his face. He looked disgustingly graphic, his hair was mangled, his eyes were bloodshot, and his voice was extra loud and sloppy.
'You guys...seriously. You guys...are the *HICCUP* best brothers A guy-A bear could ask for...'
Ice Bear and Panda looked at Grizz whose face kept getting redder and redder. They kept watching.
'Alright, Pan-man I'll give you this back so you don't *BURP* kill me tomorrow..'
he headed towards Panda.
'But first...' Suddenly toilet paper was thrown all over Panda. Grizz uttered some laughs.
Panda gave Grizz a dirty look.
Grizz turned the camera back onto himself.
'Thank you brothers..for the *HICCUP* best..night ever. I love you guys.'
The video ended.
"Aw...Grizz...Geez.." Panda bashfully said.
Grizz coughed nervously.
"Ice Bear must ask for that video not to leave this room."
The Bears all sighed in unison as they groomed themselves.
"So..Grizz what the heck was up with your voice..it sounded like we were..."
The 3 bears suddenly looked at each other in horror. Grizzly's jaw dropped.
"OH... MY-"
*DRAMATIC THUD*
The End.