I (still) don't own Ruby. And to the regret of some, I don't write for it either.

This is my new project for awhile, a self-development project to improve myself as a writer. Unlike my usuau fare, this isn't actually already written out, nor will it be post-a-day. All chapters won't be as long as this one- but the goal is to practice writing on command, with regular updates of each Friday. If I can get that, maybe I'll make actual progress towards other bigger projects. Considering RL changes coming over the next several months, this is a far more feasible goal.

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Dead Man Walking (Or Something)

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"The Hanged Man"

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Jaune Arc was a man with dreams, some might say he was a man with more dreams than sense. These people were probably right, he was forced to concede, as he plummeted towards the ground at a speed that was sure to result in him popping like a gory red water balloon.

A whistling in the air caught his attention, even as a streak of light seemed to fly towards him. A morbid fascination had him twisting in mid-air, to better watch what seemed to be a javelin that was surely about to-

Oh dear, that smart.

There was a brief flash of pain as he crashed through the verdant canopy. The tattered scream that tried to tear from his throat was stopped by mecha-shifted metal protruding through his lower trachea, a spear that only hastened his imminent re-acquaintance with Remnant.

His life flashed before his eyes as certain doom approached. There wasn't too much a remember, so it only lasted a moment, just a flash of memory of a promise to overcome any obstacle to becoming a Hunter. Funny, right?

His fourth to last thought, before oblivion, was that he still didn't know what a landing strategy was supposed to be.

His third to last thought, before he was pinned to the tree like a butterfly to a collector board, was an idle wish that he had a better last thought.

But at least he didn't hit the ground like an over-ripe watermelon. That had to count for something, right?

Hey, that last thought wasn't so ba-

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"I'm sorry!" a not-so-apologetic Pyrrha called into the distance.

The sound of a meaty impact and the thud of metal on wood was her only reply, causing a brief, momentary frown to cross her face. Sure, a thank-you might have been a bit much to hope for, but what if she'd missed her target?

She was sure she'd never hear the end of it- a nagging guilt trip that would haunt her every week for months on end until resolved or ultimately abandoned and forgotten. And that would be bad.

Well, at least he wasn't screaming in pain, or fear, so that was a good sign, right? Probably just a bit overwhelmed by his landing- maybe she should let him hang a bit, cool off. Didn't want him to be all stiff when she came to collect him.

Giggling at the thought of how she finally managed to nail herself a man, Pyrrha made her way to her future partner.

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"Hell is Other People"

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Weiss was not having a good day at all. Why not?

To start, she did not wake up on the right side of the bed. Might have had something to do with having no bed to wake up in. How uncivilized.

Then she was not successful with her attempt to befriend Pyrrha Nikos. She had tried very hard to keep the cackling to a minimum, than you very much, and a blond dunce had still ruined it.

Then said blond haired dunce had not taken the hint that she wouldn't be interested were he the last man alive on Remnant

And now she was desperately hoping to not be paired off with the crater-face who blew up the plaza before school even started.

Weiss, it was fair to say, was not amused. And not paying much attention either, given how she stumbled into Ruby after the small sniper (seriously, who sniped with a scythe?) came to a sudden stop.

"Do you hear that?" the girl asked.

Weiss had not. "Hear what?"

"That!" Ruby (that was her name, wasn't it?) repeated, pointing in a certain direction.

Weiss raised an eyebrow, and tried to listen, but didn't hear anything. "Probably just the wind," she ruled. "Let's get out of here."

Ruby scowled. "That's not nice," she scolded, and pushed past Weiss to lead in a direction that certainly wasn't north.

Weiss was only slightly more irritated than confused. "What's not nice?" she demanded. "I am perfectly nice!"

"Then why would you leave someone hanging?" Ruby asked, not looking back as she broke brush.

"Someone? Who?" Weiss asked, now slightly more lost than she was before.

Ruby threw her own confused look back at Weiss. "Uh… Jaune, I think," she, straining to listen. "You know, the guy?"

"Ugh. Mr. Snow Angel? I can't believe he called me that," Weiss complained.

"Neither can I," Ruby muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said, the voice crying for help- that's got to be Jaune."

"Ruby," Weiss said slowly, deigning to use the girl's name, "there's no one talking."

She couldn't hear anything. Really.

"Yes there is!" Ruby protested, leading faster. "I can't understand it, but there is!"

"No one besides us, I mean," Weiss corrected herself- though honestly she wished they weren't talking either. What she wouldn't give for someone quiet right now- someone who might hang around but not say anything.

"I think he's up ahead! We're coming, Jaune!" Ruby called, and cupped her ear as if hearing a response. "I think- he's stuck to a tree? He must be in the next clearing!"

"Ruby, there's no one saying anything," Weiss tried to reason with the crazy girl, stepping ahead to take the lead from the crazy girl. "And that wouldn't make any sense anyways," she continued, taking control of the conversation. "People get stuck in trees, not to them. We're going to walk past this tree, into the clearing and see-"

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"Some girl's in trouble!" Yang exclaimed. "Blake, did you hear that?"

"How could I not?" her new partner asked in return. "Sounded like Schnee," she said.

Or at least, what Blake imagined a screaming Schnee would sound like. And Blake had so many memories of imagining that sound…

Yang stepped away from the smile on her partner's face.

"Thank we should go help out?" she ultimately asked.

"…nah. She can handle herself."

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"-oh Oum oh Oum he's really stuck to the tree!" Weiss was exclaiming, voice marginally below 'deafening.'

"Geeze, Weiss, could you try any harder to kill my hearing?" Ruby groused, twisting a finger in her ear.

"Well excuse me for not caring about your ears considering that there's a body nailed to a tree!" Weiss screamed.

"It's more of a spear, really," Ruby pointed out. "I wonder whose it is?"

"No one we want be with! Come on, we've got to get out of here before they come back and realize we're here!"

"Isn't it a bit late to worry after that scream?" Ruby asked.

"That was-" Weiss stuttered, but had to conceded the point. "That's why we have to get out of here before they arrive," she justified instead. "Forget about the Grimm- just think about what sort of cruel, twisted person would do this to a fellow student!"

That seemed to get through to Ruby. "We've got to get out of here!" she said. "Come on- help me get Jaune down!"

"We can't, Ruby," Weiss said with a tinge of honest regret. "That spear looks like it was driven deep, and- I don't think we're strong enough to carry him ourselves," she admitted.

"Well, we can't just leave him here like this!" Ruby protested.

That was… alright, that was fair enough. Like him or loath him, and she definitely didn't like him, it was only proper to give the dead their due.

Weiss stepped towards the tree, and held up a hand as if for a benediction. Ignoring the chill of walking over (under?) an open grave, she closed her eyes and began to recite.

"For it is in passing that we achieve immortality," she began. "Through this-"

A wind rose and the chill returned, a feeling of weakness came over her as the words seemed to fade from her mind and energy left her. Suddenly weak in the knees, she stumbled back. "You do it," she asked Ruby, and though the girl shot her a concerned look she stepped forward and lifted her hand as well.

"For it is in passing that we achieve immortality," Ruby intoned, cape fluttering in a windless breeze. She continued without noticing. "Through this we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee," she solemnly swore with her eyes closed, before crossing herself and gripping her cloak.

She- Ruby- glowed for a brief moment as the breeze swept through the clearing. It died soon after, and when the younger girl opened her eyes she gave Weiss a confused look.

"Why-?" Ruby began to ask.

"It's a funeral rite," Weiss said quietly. "Or at least, it was. The ancients believed the spirits of the dead helped protect them from the Grimm. Eventually someone did it to someone who wasn't quite dead, and-" she shrugged, somber. "That's how the legend of the First Hunter goes, at least."

"I know that- I meant, why did you want say it?" Ruby asked.

Weiss blinked, not comprehending. "Because it's a funeral rite," she repeated.

Ruby blinked, not comprehending. "Right. And Jaune needs one… why?"

"Because he has a spear through his neck?" Weiss said slowly, as if unsure. She looked up at the tree, where Jaune- no, where Jaune's cadaver- remained. Yup, still there.

"So?" Ruby asked. "What, you never stabbed yourself when training?" she asked, skeptical. "I mean, even I've got this wicked scar where-"

"No, I don't think I've ever been impaled through the throat to a tree," Weiss interrupted, voice dry as dry ice. "Most people wouldn't survive that."

"Most people wouldn't survive being launched off a cliff," Ruby pointed out.

"And he didn't," Weiss said. "Someone might as well have dropped a safe on his head."

"Silly Weiss, people survive that sort of thing all the time!" Ruby laughed. "Saturday morning TV wouldn't lie."

"Those are cartoons, you childish… child! You can't just kill someone and expect them to live through it!"

This is true- people die when they are killed. But Ruby wasn't so sure.

"Why not? I exploded on you yesterday, and we're here now aren't we?"

"Ruby, that's the stupidest thing I've ever- Dust, you're right," Weiss realized, paling.

"I'm dead, aren't I? We died in the explosion and I'm stuck with you forever, doomed to be your partner. I never even- wait, why are you here then?" Weiss asked, rising panic stalling. "What'd you do, besides be a clutz? Isn't this Hell?" Weiss asked, looking around, wondering where the flames were. Then again, they did say Hell was other people...

Ruby gasped. "Weiss! You can't can't just say h-e-double hock sticks like that! Besides, you're not that bad! I mean, it's not that bad!"

"Why not?" Weiss demanded. "I'm here, with you, after being exploded before school even began, and I wouldn't be surprised if a certain blonde doofus suddenly starts trying to flirt, again-"

Jaune's legs swung in the breeze, but not a word came out. Cause, you know.

"Huh. Maybe I'm not there after all," Weiss conceded. "I guess it could be worse… but still. Stop trying to make nonsense make sense. We're here, he's not, simple as that."

Ruby put her hands on her hips. "It's rude to ignore Jaune when he's right there, you know" she chided.

Weiss didn't look back up. "I don't think he minds," she said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

There was a precious moment of quiet sanity, before Ruby pipped back up.

"I- no, I guess he doesn't mind," Ruby conceded. "Though I think he should get back down on the ground. He gets air- ew, ew, no, not here!" the girl began to rant, waving her arms in front of her.

Right. Crazy girl. How could Weiss forget?

"We need to get out of here before whoever threw the spear gets here," she reminded.

"Not without Jaune," Ruby protested.

"He's dead, Ruby," Weiss tried to reason. Hoping bluntness would get through.

"No he's not!" even-crazier-than-she-thought girl protested.

"Yes, he is," Weiss repeated. "Why do you think he hasn't said anything aloud this entire time?" she asked. "He's not- he wasn't exactly shy," Weiss reminded.

"He's just got something in his throat," Ruby defended.

"Yes," Weiss agreed. "A spear. Which would be blocking his airway. And why do think he hasn't gotten down from there already?"

"The spear's in deep," Ruby answered, at least admitting that much.

"And you don't think he would have taken out himself if he could, because?" Weiss led on.

"He can't," Ruby admitted, and Weiss felt victorious.

"But he's trying! Look" Ruby protested in defense of her friend, pointing upwards.

Weiss decided to humor the crazy girl before she dragged her away for her own good.

Jaune's body stopped grasping at the spear, and waved to her.

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"Some girl's in trouble!" Yang exclaimed. "Again!"

"Definitely Weiss," Blake concurred. She paused. "…think we should go help out?" she asked this time, perhaps feeling a tad guilty about earlier.

"…nah," Yang considered. "I'm sure she's got this."

Served her right for haunting Ruby like that last night.

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"My Partner is My Murderer"

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"Guess I've got this," Jaune muttered voicelessly as Weiss hightailed it out of there, dragging Ruby way at inhuman speeds.

Wait, you may ask. How does one do that? Well, even if neither girl was faunus, Weiss's symbols offer a way to- oh, did you mean how does one mutter voicelessly?

I don't know. Jaune didn't know. Jaune is I. This is… really confusing, which summed up Jaune's state of mind right now. He remembered falling. He remember thinking a kinda cool last thought. And then he remembered…

Jaune wasn't sure what he remembered. But when the fog over his thoughts had cleared, it had been to Ruby standing below him. Suddenly glad that he wasn't the sort to wear a combat skirt- being a pin-up boy was already enough to make him want to die from embarrassment- he'd tried to get himself down. Which he couldn't, because the spear really was deep and at an awkward angle to boot.

And then Weiss freaked out and dragged Ruby away. Way to leave a guy hanging, girls.

Jaune grasped at the spear shaft- tried pushing it out, tried pulling himself through it- but nothing seemed to work. With frustration he pushed and with the sensation of a pop he-

-left his body behind? Turning- though the spear was still in him- Jaune saw his own body. It wasn't the prettiest sight- wasn't the ugliest either- but there it was, his body over the spear that held it. Whereas Jaune was in… his own body, but kinda not. It looked like him- at least the parts he could see looked like him, looked like what he had seen all his life- but it wasn't real, you know? A bit see-through, a bit unsubstantial, as if being held together more by memory than anything else.

Jaune's out of body experience took him even outer, out of the spear, and for a moment he drifted- before he realized he was actually drifting through air.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Jaune cried, trying to keep his balance. A familiar sense of vertigo began to rise (Really? Now?), and Jaune began to flap his arms up, like a swimmer trying to descend in a pool. He didn't know if that actually helped- but his not-body descended and made contact with the ground. Sweet, sweet ground.

"I love you, solid ground," Jaune declared- before his unsolid body dipping a few inches into the dirt. Freaked, Jaune tried to get up- and there he floated.

"Ugh," he moaned, even as he started to get a sense for this new form. Float too high, and he'd get airsick. Float too low, and if he wasn't careful he'd be six feet under. Walking was going to be an acquired skill, wasn't it?

Deciding to try and at least get his body back, Jaune floated back up to the spear. Trying to take it in both hands- was that even possible?- he tried to pull it out from his better angle. It wobbled a little- just a bit of give- but before he could work it more, he heard someone else approaching.

"Ruby?" he asked, brightening a little in hope. (No, seriously- his spritely glow actually increased.) Had she come back to help?

But it wasn't her. It was that girl from the lockerroom- that supposedly famous one… Pyrrha! That was her name.

"Jaune?" Pyrrha was calling. "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright, Pyrrha!" Juane called back. "Just a little stuck, but-"

"Aieee!" Pyrrha screamed- though nowhere nearly as loud as Weiss had. "You are not alright!"

"Well, okay, I can see how it looks that way," Jaune conceeded, "but really, I feel fine."

"I am so sorry! Sorry!" This time, she even sounded like she meant it.

Jaune paused. "Wait, you did this?" he asked.

Pyrrha was still wide-eyed and looking at the body. "I just- I saw you were tumbling through the air, thought you didn't have landing strategy, and I thought if I helped you then found you we could be partners and-"

That was kind of sweet, actually. Especially considering how he'd blown her off earlier.

"Eh, it's okay I guess," he forgave.

"Oh Dust Oh Spirits Oh Oum," Pyrrha rambled. "What do I do, what do I do? They'll never understand."

"It's alright, Pyrrha," Jaune reassured. "We can still be partners. If you could help get my body down, though, I'd really appreciate it."

"First, I need to get the body down," Pyrrha said, slowly gaining composure.

"Yes," Jaune said, glad she was taking this like a normal, reasonable person would. "First you need to get the body down."

"Then I need to hide it."

"Right. Then you- huh?" Jaune tripped over himself- which kind of left him hovering parallel to the ground in his surprise. Though he supposed it made sense- best not to let any Grimm find it until she could find some help to carry it. Man, Pyrrha really was smart. He sure lucked out-

"At least until I figure how to dispose of it," Pyrrha continued.

"Huh?" Jaune repeated. "Dispose? No, wait, Pyrhha!" he exclaimed, waving his arms. But Pyrrha paid him no mind, still looking at the body.

"Fire? To obvious- and someone might come investigate. Chemicals would be too hard to carry out here. Dust would leave bone fragments… maybe I should just bury?" Pyrrha considered rationally. "I knew a grave keeper back at Sanctum who's shovel could transform into an ax… cutting up the body would make it easier to bury…" she murmered, giving her weapon a considering look.

Jaune was actually curious for a moment about the axe idea- everyone had heard of the Mistali swords that turned to plowshares, but an axe that turned into a grave-keeper's shovel sounded creepy-cool. Briefly Jaune wondered what Pyrrha's spear could turn into- maybe a winnowing fan?

But that was a thought for another time. He had to stop his crazy partner from having her way with his body. He needed that later! …he thought. Hoped.

"Pyrrha! No! Bad idea, stop!" Jaune shouted, floating infront of her face, but to no avail. The Champion paid his words no mind, and walked-

"Nuts," Jaune realized as she walked straight through him. "She can't hear me, can she?"

He'd have given himself a face palm- except at this point he wasn't sure he wouldn't be sticking his army through his head in the attempt.

Pyrrha froze- shivered as she passed through him- but only for a moment. Shaking herself and gathering resolve, she leaped up to the tree- holding herself by the spear, bracing her feet against the tree, and ready to pull.

Jaune had already beat her up there, though- floating to his body, trying to think of some way to make Pyrrha stop.

"C'mon, stupid body," he muttered, pushing it from different angles. "I need in! I-"

It worked- a sustained sense of pressure, the sensation of slipping, and he was back in. Kinda. More like looking over his own shoulder, but he could feel his body as the extension of his… spirit body? Something like that.

Pyrrha braced her body and prepared to pull. Jaune's hands gripped the spear along side hers. Her head rocketed up, eyes met his (kinda), and widened.

"Jaune?" she asked, pulling back in shock.

The spear slid out with a helpful push from him, and the Champion maintained a perfect picture of grace as she fell on her ass on the ground below. Following the laws of mortal physics, Jaune's body followed. Jaune did not- and his third-person point of view had a birds-eye view as his body tumbled and ate dirt with an audible crack.

He didn't think necks were supposed to bend that way, but eh- who's counting non-fatal fatal injuries?

Pyrrha was still shocked. "Jaune?" she repeated, crawling closer, afraid of what she might see.

Floating down before she got any more crazy ideas, Jaune reasserted control. His body pushed itself up, his neck rolled in a way that definitely wasn't normal, but a helpful spirit hand pushed it back where it should.

"I'm okay, Pyrrha," he said, giving a winning smile.

Or at least he tried to. What his body actually said was "Guaouauhgh!" while looking like a brain-dead retard.

"Agh! Zombie!" Pyrrha screamed-

Alright. That comparison worked too.

-as she jumped into a combat position, readying her weapons.

"No no no! Not zombie!" Jaune tried to say, waving his arms in defense.

"Ugh ugh ugh, uwahabhww!" his body actually said... though the arms did actually come up in a- Jaune quickly fixed his arms from a menacing reach to a defensive cross in front of him.

Pyrrha paused at the change- surprised at the non-hostile menace- before putting on her game face. "I'm not going to lose heart, or my brain, or any other organs to you, monster!" she claimed, preparing to attack herself.

Not good, not good! Jaune knew he had no chance in a fight- right now controlling his own body was like being a puppeteer through molasses- but why couldn't he say anything? Spirit voice might not work, but his body should-

He looked down, and remembered. Ah. Right. Air hole, right where the spear had been.

Carefully- or at least non-threateningly- Jaune had his body point at the spear, and then at the hole, and back at Pyrrha again. He sighed, hoping she'd get the point.

"Pweeeeha," his lungs leaked.

Now they decided to be intelligible? But he- aw, never mind. Jaune took his breaks like he took his broken neck, and just rolled with it. He sighed again, to a similar effect.

"Jaune?" Pyrrha asked, lowering her weapon if not her guard.

Jaune nodded- and immediately regretted it, as his neck went in a way it should have. Fixing it- and pretending not to see Pyrrha's grimace- he gave a thumbs up instead. His body shakily followed.

And he remembered to shut his mouth. Leaving his jaw hanging probably hadn't helped.

"Are you really Jaune? Or a zombie?" Pyrrha asked.

Jaune tried to say 'Jaune,' but what came out was an unintelligible moan of "Uaaaawwn."

"One moan for yes, two for zombie."

Unsure if he was supposed to count the first one, Jaune stayed silent.

Pyrrha looked at him- just looked at him- and shook her head. "Either this is a crazy semblance, or I'm already crazy," she muttered, and turned and walked into the forest in a daze.

Jaune had thoughts on that, considering what her first response to seeing his body had been, but not wanting to be left behind he lumbered after her.

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End Week One

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Author Note:

Forgive the overly long Author Note of context.

Some of you may have noticed how similar the start was with Coeur Al'Aran's recent story, "From Beyond." It's not an accident- but it's not a rip-off either.

This fic was inspired by a conversation I had with Coeur Al'Aran – as well as a challenging little game we've been playing. Essentially one of us would come up with a vague premise for a story, and the other would have to try and slap a plot together within 15 minutes – and it had to work. It's a fun little exercise, and next week you'll start seeing some of them.

Anyway… eventually see, Coeur gave me the challenge of:

Jaune dies in initiation.

This led to a BRUTALLY SAD fic, because that's what I do, am I right? But a conversation after led to the idea of ghosts… and almost at the same time we both submitted a Ghost Jaune idea to one another. Both were very comedic and sounded hilarious, and shared various elements.

There was however, one minor difference between them…

Coeur's idea had Ghost Jaune being COVERT. Wherein Jaune haunts Blake.

My idea had Ghost Jaune being OVERT. Wherein everyone will know about his ghostly undeath.

Each of us writing a fic seemed the most obvious choice. We are not in "competition" nor is this an "argument" or us "stealing" ideas from one another- we came up with a lot of the same things at the same time, some of which will be obvious later on. This is all Coeur's fault, really- Coeur has been pushing/encouraging me to be a better writer, and challenged me to just try and write a story on the go rather than pre-writing the whole thing. He's set a pace of weekly updates, and I'll be trying to keep up- and this way, maybe we can both produce something that will be amusing, in different ways.

Read them both if you will – considering our different styles, and our different schedules, and different chapter lengths, it'll be two different experiences... but I'm sure both will be enjoyable reads. Coeur is a master at mixing the humorous with the dramatic, and has a great plot in mind- the heavy, rich chocolate of a Halloween night's haul. Me? I've got a twisted sense of humor- and a bunch of cheap jokes. The low-calorie candy corn of morbid humor, if you will.

Either way, enough talk. Make sure to check out Coeur Al'Aran's story From Beyond – you can find it on my favourites if nowhere else. I hope we can both entertain!