Saying I love you

She told herself it was all about fear, she told herself it was all because she still couldn't let Reginald go. Because there must have been a reason why she couldn't say I love you to the man she was about to marry, the man she had fought for. Lord Merton was everything a woman could have desired: caring, kind, a true gentleman and, most of all, he did love her and kept telling that every time he saw her. So, why couldn't she say those three words back? Maybe that was just it: she was too old for loving again and her heart was shut.

Nobody else seemed to agree with her, though, and a tea at the Abbey made it clear. Once the problem was casually brought out, Mary didn't hesitate much to bluntly tell her that it wasn't her fault. "Maybe he's not the right one" she said and she knew that herself because she had been there before. It's better to remain alone than being with the wrong man: that was the advice the younger woman gave to herself and immediately offered it to Isobel as well.

Edith instead had been more cautious, hinting that maybe it was a question of time. However, that discretion didn't prevent her from suggesting to reconsider the idea of the marriage, or at least thinking more about it. After all, considering the end of the relationship with Sir Anthony Strallan, she knew well the importance of not rushing things.

The only one who didn't share any personal experience, and actually didn't suggest anything at all, was Cousin Violet. Oddly as it seemed, the dowager countess didn't express an actual opinion, even if by the look on her face she seemed to know better than Isobel herself. "I'm quite confident our dear Cousin Isobel will soon understand what it is best to do" she just enigmatically said, when Mary solicited her on the matter.

But yet here Isobel still was: with no willing to spend her life alone, running out of time and surely still unaware of what, according to Violet, she should have understood.

"I love you" Dickie said looking straightly into her eyes, just like every other time.

And just like every other time, she instictively looked away and just made a small shy smile.

It should have been just a casual visit to check on the hospital before moving a bit far from the village, or so she told herself, but entering the structure was enough to see that there was more than that. A cup of tea, a small talk in the doctor's office, and finally Isobel understood. Slowly, she realized that it wasn't about the hospital after all; it wasn't the hospital that she had wanted to check on in the first place.

"…Of course we have to look for more nurses, since Joan and Sarah are leaving and we will have to better use the funds and then- Is everything alright?"

She blinked and slightly shook her head, looking quite puzzled. But the puzzled one was actually Richard, staring now at her with a bit of concern. Somewhere in the detailed speech of the doctor, she totally lost the conversation and that was funny, since she had been the one to ask the question. On the other hand, it was true that her attention had never been really focused on the hospital that day at all.

"Mrs Crawley?"

The question had shaken her from her thoughts, but yet, looking back at him in the eyes, she had suddenly got lost in another reveriè. That's why, in spite of his new recall, she did have no reaction. On the outside at least, because inside her there was indeed a big ferment of thoughts, feelings and realizations going on.

"…Isobel?" he dared, only because worry was urging him to.

Hearing her first name, she finally looked up and then suddenly, with a totally unexpected candor, she spoke up.

"I love you"

It was just a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to hear it and the determined look in her eyes immediately confirmed it. Richard widened his eyes and for a moment remained out of breath. In that moment, he didn't think about the importance of that admission, he didn't think about his own bursting feelings, he didn't think about the happiness at his fingertips… He didn't think at all. Because hearing those words from her was something that could only happen in his dreams and, actually, not even in his imagination it ever happened in that curious way.

"A-Are you serious?" he asked stupidly.

But it took her slight nod to make him stand up from behind his desk and rush at her on the other side; then, he bent on his knees to be at her eye level. It was only then, at that new promixity, watching the new unusual sweetness in his eyes, that probably she really became aware of her own words and so, unexpectedly, she started to laugh openly. And not because she hadn't been serious, but because actually she had been all too serious.

"I do. I love you, Richard, I love you, I-… Oh, Goodness, it's so easy to say these words now…"

It was like once that difficult sentence was out of her mouth, she just wanted to say it again and again. Not just to anybody though, but to him, because if the "you" was Richard, then somehow the sentence suddenly gained a meaning and everything became certain, real, natural.

"Oh Isobel, if that's true, don't marry him…" he started with a loving smile creeping on his lips, as he instincitvely took her hands in his ones. "Don't marry him and marry me instead!"

At that, she couldn't help but laugh again. Was it a proposal out of loneliness or as a way to defeat his rival? One thing was for sure, at least: considering this moment and the day at the fair, Richard was not good at making proposals nor at expressing his feelings. But the strangest part was that, in spite of that, she already had a precise answer in mind.

"Why should I do that, doctor?" she teased anyway, letting the laugh fade into an enigmatic smile.

Richard instictively rolled his eyes, unable to believe how the woman in front of him could be so adorably annoying even in moments like that. "Because you said you love me…" he whispered and then paused for a short while, as if he was collecting his courage. When he finally spoke again, his tone was more certain and showed more urgency. "And because I love you, I love you so much Isobel Crawley and I have loved you for so long. Nothing would make me more happy than having you at my side, as my wife. So, will you marry me?"

Surely, the proposal had suddenly taken a lot of points: with those last words the doctor had made up for all the badly chosen ones before, and besides, he was even already on his knees after all. This time, any trace of amusement was gone from Isobel's face and instead some tears started to form in her eyes – tears of happiness, of hope, of love. Remaining silent, she just cupped his face with her hands and let their lips meet for their first sweet and yet passionate kiss.

"Yes" – And it was another word not so difficult to say.

Feel free to imagine this oneshot set whenever you want, I imagined it to be before S5 CS though. It seemed I was in a fluffy mood and, for once, I even tried to put an actual ending lol

I have to say I'm a bit sorry to bother you with my fics, but I have many ideas about them and, by the way, I'm also writing a long-fiction;) So, see you soon, dear richobels:)