A/N: A lovely anon sent me ConAi + 18 (This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in.) and I don't really write anything shippy for these two apart from unrequited on Ai's part so I took a page from The Winter Soldier ;3

Crossposted from Tumblr and to AO3

They're on a camping trip.

It's always a camping trip.

Honestly, Ai doesn't know why they don't just avoid the woods entirely, or only go places that have been thoroughly blessed by several priests of varying faiths. Part of it is probably that the kids are, well, kids, and even three whole years of solving mysteries together does not deter the nine year olds who are extremely stubborn when they put their minds to it.

The other part is, admittedly, her and Kudo-kun's fault. After all, they've gotten the group out of so many sticky situations time and again, the kids see no reason not to do something if Conan or Ai will be there to fix things should they go pear shaped.

Currently, the two of them are in a dilapidated little shack near a supposedly cursed cave. The reason for people believing it's cursed, as they had come to learn, was because it was being used as a hideout for a gang of drug dealers (no one related to the Organization, thankfully), and they had taken measures to scare people away from it.

Unfortunately, Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko had stumbled upon it while exploring (and honestly, Ai is going to have to invest in a leash system or something to keep them from wandering off again), and the drug dealers had spotted them. The kids fled and had eventually ran into Ai and Conan, who had been looking for them. After explaining the situation, they had begun to make their way back to the campsite but were cut off and had to split up.

If there's one thing to be said about the disturbing regularity with which they get into trouble, the three actual children of the Shounen Tantei have gotten much better at following orders, and had agreed to go back to the campsite, call the police, and hide, not necessarily in that order. Ai and Conan had tried to throw the drug dealers off the other's trail, eventually finding the tiny shack that had probably been someone's hunting cabin once or something but had been abandoned and left to the elements.

"There's too many for me to take down," Kudo-kun whispers so low he can barely be heard, his brow furrowed and teeth gritted. "No cell reception and they've probably got someone by the campsite. We need a distraction," he decides, blue eyes narrow and a calculating expression on his face. "To drive them away or something."

Ai is also thinking, and though she may not be a detective she does know something about tactics, and everything about redirection. "I may have an idea," she tells him. "It's going to be embarrassing though, and we'll need your bowtie."

Kowara spat out a curse. He and Haneda had been trying to find those kids for nearly an hour now and had nothing to show for it! Towaki would kill them if they didn't come back with something to show though…

He stilled as he heard muffled voices. Moving slowly in the direction they came from, he held his gun steady as a run down shack came into view. His lips curled into a sneer as he crept closer.

"P-please, be gentle with me."

Kowara stopped at the wavery voice, his eyes widening. There was a small, distinctly feminine, cry before he heard a boy's voice say, "Don't worry Co-chan, we won't do anything you don't want to."

There was an indistinct murmur of voices and Kowara's ears burned at a muffled thud followed by a moan. He quickly backtracked, giving the shack a wide berth as he went to intercept Haneda. It was only decent to give the lovebirds some privacy, after all.

The footsteps receded away from the shack and the two shrunken teens waited for a moment with bated breath before letting out a sigh of relief.

"That was a close one," Kudo-kun sighs, his cheeks and tips of his ears bright red.

"You put on a good performance," Ai smirks. "Acting lessons with your mother paid off, hmm?"

"Shut up," he mutters. "I don't see why I had to be the girl."

"Because I'm better at being in control than you," Ai drawls. "Besides, you're so much better at playing the blushing virgin."

"Oi!"