Frying Pan

For the first time in her life, Jack thanked goodness that Alex was a spy. Why? Because of the multitude of weapons that Alex's paranoia (no matter what he said, she was convinced he was paranoid) had compelled him to hide around the house, such as the gun in the freezer, the knife on the door mantel, and the reinforced steel baton in the pantry…

However, Jack was also currently cursing Alex to high heaven, as she was currently hiding in the kitchen (behind the large granite island) from one of the teen's many, many enemies. The adversary in question had snuck into the house while Alex was conveniently away on a mission (somewhere obscure like the Falkland Islands, Jack didn't know), leaving Jack to fend for herself against a man twice her size…not to mention Jack's total inability to handle any of the abovementioned weapons.

Jack was shaken from her thoughts by the arrival of her opponent in the kitchen.

"I know you're in here, my dear. I can see the ends of your beautiful red hair…"

Jack, cursing more audibly now, stood up.

"What do you want, tubby?"

The man was not, in fact, tubby at all, but Jack found that throwing insults at the man currently in her kitchen helped her to get ahold of her fear, so…she continued.

"Ah, I have heard about your temper. It matches your hair, darling."

"I'm not your darling," Jack snapped. "Now get the hell out of my house."

The man leered at her. "I'm afraid I can't do that—you see, I'm here to kidnap you."

Jack couldn't help it—she snorted.

"Don't believe me? Well, let me lay it out for you—when I kidnap you, you ward, Alex Rider, will come running…and my bosses will be very pleased to have MI6's number one spy in their grasp. So you see, Jacqueline, I cannot—"

BANG!

Jack, panting, lowered the cast iron skillet in her hand. Who needed spy weapons? A frying pan was a perfectly valid way to disable intruders. She nudged the unconscious man with her foot. She really should thank him, she supposed, for giving her a reason to hit him—not because he had invaded her home, or because he was threatening both her and her charge—

Because Jack really, really hated her full name.