Authors note and warning: I had a simple idea; what if Jane promised Maura to do something silly, and couldn't back down because she'd never go back on a promise to Maura no matter how nuts things got. I had a sketchy plan, worth maybe 1000 words as a writing exercise. And then it got away from me.

Background: Mauras' techs call themselves 'the Queen's subjects'. These are movie cops doing movie cop things, and if you trust net fiction for legal (or other) advice you should be in jail. I own nothing, and I have no connection to real bands, trademarks or people mentioned in this story so please don't sue or otherwise threaten me. English is not my native language, and I love Bulwer-Lytton so sometimes I write weird things on or off purpose. I'm afraid of Betas, thus all mistakes are mine. This is Alternate Universe land, and out-of-character is the whole point of the story. My version of Maura may or may not do sarcasm.

Triggers: There is swearing and discussion of sexual things. It heads for rizzles at full steam. No explicit MA stuff but some definite heavy breathing. If you want pure and cute, stay away. Italics may be emphasis or internal monologue.

It kicked off on a Wednesday.

"Hah! You lost the bet, and now you have to wear something that I bought for you all day tomorrow." Maura was gloating. Jane was impressed that she even gloated in a cute way.

"Oh god, you're gonna put me in some frilly blouse or three-inch heels and murder my feet. I know it. I should never have made a bet with you..."

"No, you should know better by now. Don't worry, I wouldn't put you in clothes that make you miserable. In fact, you can cover this up by wearing a turtleneck if you feel too embarrassed by it." Maura smiled.

"It can't be underwear, then. That would be covered up regardless. What kind of clothing is cover-optional when I'm at work?"

"I never said clothing." Maura opened a drawer and pulled out a flat carton with a ribbon on it.

"You had something prepared already? When did you buy that, and how long have you been planning this ambush?"

"I bought this for you almost two years ago, and it's been waiting for the right moment since. The 'ambush' was all your idea, I did not trick you into making a stupid bet. This gift just happens to fit the occasion perfectly. Much better than expected, actually."

"Can I open it? I may need to plan tomorrow's outfit around it..."

"You don't own anything remotely resembling outfits, but you are right. It will require some planning."

Jane opened the box. Inside was a spiked dog collar with a small hanging brass sign dangling beneath it: "Owned by M".

"You bought me a SLAVE COLLAR?" Jane was wide-eyed but somehow did not sound offended, just shocked.

"No! It's not a slave collar. It's more of a pitbull nature, not at all about submission. Quite the opposite." Maura grinned happily with a touch of triumph in her voice and a slight flush on her cheeks.

"Why on earth would you buy me an attack dog collar with your name on it?"

"It was after you saved me from Hoyt. You always protect me. You are always aggressive for me. Always in my corner, fighting for me. My savior. It was funny. Now, it's even funnier. The expression is 'you got owned' am I right?" There was no trace of sarcasm in Maura's voice, only pride over her friend.

"Of all the slang you had to pick up on that one." Jane was turning the collar over in her hands, looking at it while smiling distractedly about the compliment. Maura considered forfeiting it right there and letting her off the hook. It was inappropriate for work, after all, and she had made her point.

"Do you have other things lying around as well? Stuff that you have bought that's waiting for the right moment?"

"Oh yes."

"Huh. Well, I can't make this work with my blazers but I have an idea. Might get some stick from Cavanaugh though, and you know I'm going to get tons of shit from the guys for this. They'll all say we're in a S&M relationship..."

"We're not, and I doubt you'd be into S&M anyway. I think you get enough pain on the job. I'll tell everyone that it's not about that." Maura said it soberly, earning her a blank look from Jane. She recognized that look, the special vacant stare Jane had when she was rearranging facts in her head to test some new model of thought or idea. Maura wondered what she was processing this time. Probably how she was going to explain the collar to the PD.

"I'll wear it from the moment I get out of the shower tomorrow until I go to bed and that's a promise. If Cavanaugh gets on my case about it you'll have to defend me. That's your job as the owner, right?"

Now Maura felt disoriented. Clearly she had not thought all the details of this through, but on the other hand she had not expected Jane to actually agree to wear it at work.

"I'll be there for you." she said, and quietly added "Always." mostly to herself.

"This could be fun." Jane's sudden smile was like a small sun with cute dimples and Maura could feel herself melt a little. "I need to go dig through a wardrobe, but I'll see you tomorrow morning. You'd better be in the bullpen to explain this to everyone when I arrive."

Maura nodded. "Of course. I promise."

Jane left, fiddling with the collar in her hands again, still smiling.