Two Teams

Wally really liked girls.

Whenever a lady was present in the room, the red-head would go up to flirt with her almost without fail, his main goal being to make the woman smile. Unless your name was Artemis. Yeah, as far as first impressions went, that did not go over very well—Wally had not been pleased with the whole substituting Roy dilemma. So, really, Artemis was an exception to the rule . . . except when they all lost their memory during that simulation exercise, Wally had not wasted any time and flirted with Artemis. So maybe Artemis wasn't an exception to the flirting rule after all.

Still, Wally will insist to the furthest recesses of the Universe and back that the episode with Artemis did not count. So Artemis WAS an exception to the flirting rule, or so he told himself.

Yeah. OK. Moving on.

The thing is, Wally was a ladies man through and through. Or so people thought.

He liked guys, too. Wally really liked guys.

The only problem with that is his Number One Rule of Flirting: always assume everyone to be straight unless otherwise specified.

Yeah. That rule really got in the way sometimes. It was annoying. Sometimes he really wished for gays to label themselves or something so that he could just go right up to them and make them smile. But that wasn't the case, so Wally had to content himself with solely hitting on the ladies in the room—no matter how hot the guy next to said lady was.

A-NNO-ying.

At least Wally thought that being bisexual was the best thing ever. How could he not? This only meant that he had a greater chance of finding his soul mate, duh. And while some people liked Rocky Road and other people liked chocolate mint, Wally liked both! MORE ICE CREAM FOR HIM HELL YEAH! He was also constantly blessed with the presence of the beautiful and the handsome—no matter where he went, there were plenty of people to gawk at and make them smile! Everyone looked so much better with a radiant smile, which is why Wally liked to compliment everyone.

Wally complimented everyone regardless, no exception. He didn't need to flirt to compliment—he wasn't a dick like a certain someone he knew.

Ah, puns. Gotta love 'em.

Still, Wally was well aware that his peers had no idea that he swung for the other team, too. It wasn't as if he was keeping it a secret, it just . . . never came up. The only one who knew was Uncle Barry, and Wally regretted ever directly confiding in his uncle that little tidbit of information.

Talk about having an overprotective uncle, sheesh. The guy basically glared holes at every guy that Wally decided to befriend and no Uncle Barry that's not how it works.

He wouldn't be surprised if Uncle Barry got Batman to do background checks on every single guy within breathing space of his nephew.

"You don't do this to girls!"

"Girls are girls, Walls. Guys, well, I know how guys think."

"Uncle Barry! I'm a guy too you know!"

And that's how it usually went.