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So, this is something that just begged to be written but has nothing to do with the plot of Black Sky, so here it is. It fits into the Black Sky continuity though, so everything that happens here may be referenced in the main story and vice versa.

As always, I own nothing canonical and all non-canon elements are joint-owned with InsaneScriptist.

Parenting is not a Varia Quality

Maínomai of the Varia knew perfectly well that he needed near-constant supervision, what with his ADHD and mild kleptomania, but it was December and he was buying Christmas presents. Well, trying to buy Christmas presents; he did have a list and all but it was hardly his fault that there were so many shops and that the Christmas market being in full swing was so distracting, was it? So much to see! If he'd had Pýř along he'd probably have finished by now, but Pýř was one of the people he was buying for and keeping presents secret from the people he was buying them for was half the fun. Although at the rate he was going, he was going to have to come back tomorrow… which would be bad, because tomorrow was Christmas Eve and he wanted to wrap and hide his presents then. He would have gone shopping earlier in the month, but he'd lost track of time during the latest spate of missions and hadn't realised it was nearly Christmas until he'd noticed Housekeeping putting out holly bouquets in the vases about a week after he got back, which had been yesterday. Hence his rushing out to do it all today…

What he really needed was a minder, somebody –preferably Vongola-connected– who had the spine and the smarts to keep up with him and steer him a bit. There had to be somebody in this crowd somewhere who fit that description; everybody had been overworked this year, what with Massimo getting himself murdered in cinematic style back in March, so there were bound to be more last-minute shoppers than just him. And while he'd thus far today managed to get himself out of the various little misunderstandings that always seemed to crop up when he was less than completely focused, there was no guarantee that would continue indefinitely…

Maínomai was briefly entertaining the thought that maybe he should just buy his presents by postal order this year despite the associated rush fees –there was no need to repeat The Great Patisserie Fiasco Of 1997– when he glimpsed a vaguely familiar face reflected in a shop window. Spinning around, Maínomai darted through the chaotic mass of bustling shoppers, grabbed his target by the upper arm and spun her around, unleashing a delighted smile upon confirming that she really was who he'd thought she was.

"Hi! You're Erica Lanza, right? I'm Maínomai and I need a leetle bit of help staying focused while I do my Christmas shopping, so how about you help me and in return I'll buy you hot drinks and carry all your bags?" The Varia assassin bit his lower lip and widened his eyes winsomely; attempting to win over the CEDEF secretary he'd heard so many good things about so she'd help him out.

"You're one of prince Belphegor's colleagues, aren't you." It wasn't a refusal but it wasn't an agreement either; it wasn't even a question. Maínomai answered anyway.

"Er, yes? We don't usually work together though; we're in different Divisions."

The secretary unbent just far enough to give him a Look that said she knew exactly what he did for a living, thank-you, and Did Not Care Right Now, with undertones of I Know I Am Indispensable, You Don't Scare Me. "He made a highly memorable impression at last year's New Year's party," she explained further. "Almost everybody was wearing dark sunglasses and flinching at loud noises for most of a week."

Maínomai perked up. Bel had pulled a Varia prank on CEDEF HQ? That Prince the Ripper had got away with it was unsurprising; what was unexpected was that this charmingly vivacious lady had noticed yet hadn't spoilt the fun. No wonder Bel had reported her as being 'not bad, for a peasant'! For Bel that was practically singing her praises, except that princes were more likely to grant rewards than actually sing praises.

"So, please?" He begged hopefully, letting go of her to put his hands together in supplication. "Pretty please with marshmallows on top, oh most brilliant of secretaries?" Maínomai meant it too; he'd read the reports on CEDEF's performance and she really was all that was keeping the place from keeling over most days, what with her boss playing hooky to take field missions and being entirely without the kind of vision needed to keep a Vongola House on track. Vision wasn't strictly necessary for the Varia compared to the CEDEF as the Varia was pretty self-contained, but the CEDEF was an intelligence organisation and thus was supposed to be proactive compared to the Varia, which was commissioned for work and therefore reactive. Having vision was necessary for an Intelligence Division because then steps could be taken to prepare for what was to come, so that nobody lost a limb or stubbed their toes fumbling around in the dark.

The twenty-year-old blonde eyeballed him in silence for a long moment, then sighed. "Well, why not?"

That was definitely meant to be a rhetorical question, so Maínomai very deliberately did not blurt out all the many, many reasons his colleagues would give as proof that helping the flighty Mist with anything was a really bad idea. Instead the tall assassin beamed at her, took her bags off her and offered her his arm so he wouldn't lose her in the crowds. "Fantastic!" he said happily. "Where to first then?"

Maínomai found out that the first thing to do was him handing over a copy of his shopping list so they didn't have to backtrack through stores while he was holding her bags as she did her own shopping. No need for him to not get his shopping done while he was helping her, as that would be silly even for him. Plus if they did that he'd have to carry the bags for longer and that would be awkward for the packages and him. She considered his list with scepticism, produced her own list and made a few annotations then took his free arm and set off towards a nearby store, tugging him forwards.

Maínomai blinked curiously at Erica Lanza as she managed the remarkably subtle trick of getting the thick crowds to part before her presence, so she could get to the stores she needed to get to while dragging him along. None of the people were cowering in terror like when Kuchisake pulled this particular manoeuvre; in fact the civvies barely seemed to notice them while making space for them regardless. Neat! He was happy to be steered and look around as she pulled him along, as she likely knew where to shop better than he did. Some things on his list had been incredibly vague, but he hadn't planned most of his gifts out in too much detail as this close to Christmas things were more likely to sell out. Chocolate for Mammon as it would be appreciated and not pawned or sold, something fairy-inspired for Mab or possibly a fantasy novel as she liked those. Something creepy for Kuchisake but if he couldn't find anything he could default to chocolate for her as well; darker chocolate than Mammon's as the Arcobaleno's child-sized body had kiddie tastes too, so anything bitter or spicy was out.

It wasn't like he was bribing his superiors in the Mist Division either, as the attempt to do so was Stupid and achieving the desired effect of bribery was doomed to failure, because Mab had retired to Housekeeping, Mammon didn't give 'credit' and Kuchisake wasn't going to give more than a hug of acknowledgement and maybe some profuse vocal thanks for a gift if she really liked it; Kuchisake was the Mist Division's General Manager in addition to being Squad Leader of Mist Squad and believed like Mammon that there was no such thing as bribes, only payment for services and well, bribery was Stupid because the attempt at doing so just meant an inevitable reversal of fortune by inviting blackmail from the person you were attempting to bribe. The same thing went for Raas who was Mammon's general assistant who was getting another scarf to add to his collection for Christmas; the scarf wasn't on Maínomai's list though because he had knitted that already. He was also getting something shark-themed and possibly a cuddly shark toy for Kӧder as there was no way to resist that and by giving it to Kӧder it wouldn't get him skewered like it would if he gave it to Captain Superbi. Maínomai was thinking of getting tea for him; some of the soothing herbal blends.

The only specific items on his shopping list were the various token and useful gifts to those he worked with, several craft items to be given as gifts to his fellow craft-inclined Varia and a new coat for Pýř. Last year Pýř had given Maínomai the woollen blue coat he was currently wearing and Maínomai wanted to reciprocate; it helped that Pýř's coat was looking a little frayed. Pýř's current coat would probably be fine for another couple of years before it started getting genuinely holey but there was no need to let his friend freeze in a worn-out coat. Shopping for Pýř would only be a bit troublesome as the man dressed sharper than Maínomai did, but it was doable.

Thankfully he had the delightful divinity of the CEDEF to help out, once she unbent a little more as she turned from terse into sociable with a little effort and cheer. Finding out how to talk to her took only two stores, and how to make her laugh took only one more. Maínomai also discovered early on that she had genuinely impeccable taste and lots of class, so the chances of him managing to buy Pýř a coat his Cloud friend would actually wear were very good indeed.

So far she had only had to drag him away from three window displays, one group of passing carollers and discreetly prevented him from walking out of shops with a snow globe, a set of hair ties and a decorative pair of salt and pepper shakers; the latter were shaped and painted like owls that were more cute than completely creepy but he figured that Kuchisake would like them anyway, so rather than putting them back he bought the entire dining set they belonged to, complete with the plates. She might even get some use out of them, as he was pretty sure that Kuchisake could cook even though the Varia had chefs on staff.

The Mist Division having swollen in numbers so dramatically meant a number of seasoned Mists were teaching the newbie illusionists about types of illusions beyond the obvious visual ones and introducing them to various specialties so they could find their own, as there were some things that some people had a knack for more than others; most Mists specialised in just a few areas. He had heard a lot about those 'classes' from Ghul and Fuseau –they each had their own 'classes' to teach too– as non-visual illusions were one of the things the horror-fanatic enjoyed teaching the recruits; Ghul had phrased it as 'a new horror, brewed in the witch's cauldron, approaches in appetizing guises that eats those that consume it from the inside to the sound of mad, cackling laughter' but the metaphor translated to 'Kuchisake was having fun with terrorising the recruits while teaching them awareness'. Food illusions were a tricky balance to get right as how food tasted to individual people differed, plus the depth of cooking and poison knowledge needed was considerable so not many specialized in that but the rookies needed to know about it because there would be tests later. Non-lethal first, but well, the placebo effect could be a very dangerous thing for Mists. To teach that meant she had to know how to cook and cook well. Maínomai was hungry too, but at least he didn't currently have to worry about people poisoning others for fun and practice.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, giving him a Look that said she suspected he was Up To Something. She hadn't caught him the first time with the decorative pens, and he hadn't even realized he had them until he stuck his hands in his coat pockets for warmth after that trip to the stationary store. That had reminded him to tell her about the minor kleptomania and she had almost been as good as Pýř about keeping an eye on him after.

"The fact I owe you a hot drinks and many thanks. I think I spy a café that way."

"Are you certain that you don't need to make a trip to drop everything off?" She asked. That she managed to do so in a way that communicated practical concern rather than implying weakness was incredibly impressive and something Maínomai knew he couldn't personally manage. In fact, most of the Varia lacked that kind of gentle tact. It was a very challenging skill but a highly valuable one.

"Nothing's that heavy; just a bit awkward in the quantity." Maínomai smiled sheepishly as he flickered his Flames in lieu of an explanation. "It's keeping enough weight that I'm not forgetting it's there while keeping it light enough to be carried all day, easy."

"A Territory then?" She asked quietly, a flicker of Rain Flames around them encouraging passers-by to be calmly disinterested in their conversation. That was another neat trick, so Maínomai decided to give a proper explanation so he could study what she was doing more closely.

"An Enchantment; it reduces gravity so what's in the bags weighs as much as it does on the moon. Holding a Territory takes a lot of concentration and energy, though Rules can make it easier or harder and then it still takes practice. Plus the crowds... that's just asking for trouble and I'm not a Territory Master. You can't move a Territory as by nature they have set boundaries, unless it's set up inside a vehicle and then it's possible to do something like make a car go for a thousand kilometres on a litre of petrol."

The only person he knew that had something approaching a specialisation in Territories was Raas, which with the right Rules made him a terribly effective assassin, especially in those 'impossible, surrounded by bodyguards, in broad daylight' types of missions while managing to make it look as completely natural or unnatural as he wanted. The 'Petito Guillotining' that happened to the Petito heir and his guards came to mind, as Raas had just leaned invisibly against the gates to the Petito estate, set up a narrow Territory between the gateposts with the rule of 'any party of four or more people that passes through will be bisected at these set heights' about ten minutes before the target and his friend and bodyguards went through. Maínomai and Pýř had been on surveillance for that mission and through a few Mist-tricks had managed to actually witness the effect; all those inside the vehicle had managed to get cut into pieces at set heights, which resulted in the vehicle quickly leaving the drive to crash into the mafia-owned manor. Raas then dispelled the tiny Territory and walked away, still invisible. The only reason Raas didn't actually specialise in Territories was that he lacked the Flames to create and sustain a larger Territory by himself, so he was more of a jack-of-all trades than a specialist.

"Handy." Erica surmised, nodding thoughtfully. "Well, we are about half-way through both lists and it is coming up on midday, so a break for drinks and planning where to go next wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Let's eat then!" Maínomai said cheerily, leading the way across the street and noting how the Rain-trick had faded away as soon as he stopped speaking about Flames. "What kind of brioche do you like? Plain? Cream? Jam? Chocolate?"

He heard rather than saw the faint huff of amusement and there was a definite smiley feeling to her voice as she answered him. "I like cream brioche and hot chocolate with whipped cream. I also have my car parked about ten minutes away, so if the shopping does get too awkward just say so; better to take a short detour than to drop anything."

She'd driven here? Maínomai had gotten a lift, and would be calling up Housekeeping afterwards so he could get a lift back. He could drive –he even had a driving licence– but he was a very bad driver most of the time so he generally didn't drive unless it was a mission and something happened that meant that there wasn't anybody else to take the wheel, which had only happened twice. Shortly after that second occasion –which had been a milk-run with two of the newbies– Housekeeping had set up a system so that all of the Varia could get driving licences and keep them up to date, which suggested the reports of the rest of his temporary Squad-members had contained major complaints about his driving. It wasn't like he'd actually hit anything… well, not anything big. The car hadn't even been dented!

Erica wondered sometimes if her being secretly undercover Varia rather than just senior CEDEF secretary had anything to do with the way she kept running into members of the Vongola's Assassination Squad. First there had been the Storm Officer last year, then the Mist Squad Leader several months ago and now Maínomai. Was it perhaps something about her attitude that called out to them, some innate confidence that told them she was worth having an actual conversation with?

To be honest, Erica wasn't entirely sure why just about everyone was so terrified of the Varia. They were still part of the Vongola, with the Family's best interests at heart, and while they certainly came across as mad, bad and dangerous to know… a lot of that was just a front. Despite being Storm Officer Belphegor was still a very intelligent eleven-year-old –no, he was twelve now– and no smart and self-aware pre-teen liked to be patronised. Kuchisake had been perfectly personable until she'd been maimed by flying glass, and even then none of the CEDEF involved in the mission were physically harmed. Yes, the illusions had been disturbing but Kuchisake was a Mist; disturbing was what they did.

Maínomai was also a Mist, but he seemed to be the more subtle sort in terms of Flames and he was also disarmingly adorable and friendly. Really, that smile of his was lethal to her knees and his easygoing, cheerful and rather distracted manner rather reminded her of a big, cuddly puppy. Maybe a greyhound puppy; Maínomai was tall, thin and energetic as well as somewhat flighty with the most gorgeously expressive grey eyes Erica had ever seen. Added to that utterly devastating smile… well, he was both very attractive and utterly charming. So much so that Erica was seriously considering the possibility of having a go at dating. She'd never really been interested as a teen and working as Iemitsu's secretary meant she was pretty short on free time so socialising had rather gone out of the window –even more so recently what with the aftermath of Massimo getting killed– but for this guy she was willing to make an effort.

It wasn't like cute men offering to buy her hot chocolate and carry her shopping grew on trees.

The first thing Erica persuaded Maínomai to do after he'd bought her hot chocolate and brioche was take their shopping so far to her car and lock it in the boot; she very successfully argued that, since they were getting a coat next, he'd want to be part of the selection process so having to repeatedly put down and pick up all the bags would just be irritating. The petite blonde Rain also pointed out that it would be easier to find the right coat for Pýř if he used his Flames to create an illusion of the Cloud that could try the coats on, which sounded like so much fun Maínomai had got up and almost left the café right away to go and try it out, only held back by Erica grabbing his sleeve.

His smiling chagrin had made Erica laugh, not in a mean way but with an oddly startled delight that Maínomai promptly resolved to draw out of her more often. She was really very pretty but when she laughed like that she shone, she really did.

She caught him pocketing the long-handled teaspoons on the way out, but didn't make a fuss and discreetly slipped them onto an abandoned tray on a table they passed on the way out, which was kind and thoughtful of her. Maínomai then followed her to her car –which he memorised the plates and make of because that was what he did– entrusted all their shared shopping to its boot and then watched in appreciation as the CEDEF secretary added a pinch of Rain Flames to the car's body so as to make it somehow uninteresting. No parking warden or thief was going to look once at it now, let alone twice!

Maínomai resolved to ask Glace about that trick the next time they sparred; altering it to be a Mist-trick would be easy, but as an original Rain-trick it probably had a few handy nuances he wasn't picking up on right now and the Rain Squad's General Manager would be able to work out how it worked. Mammon would be all for anything that saved them money and the Varia not having to pay for up-to-date car alarms or parking fees would be a major saving over time. It would also make stakeouts easier. Having to leave the nest to update the pay and display or the meter was a terrible tell, so avoiding that was best.

Then Erica dragged him into a series of stupidly expensive shops in search for a properly stylish coat, where in between having fun Conjuring up a model of Pýř only he and she could see to try the coats on, brought to mind something Maínomai realised he really should have asked earlier.

"Er, beautiful? Do you have a name I can call you? A codename?" He really had no excuse for forgetting to ask as he'd known her real name but hadn't given her his, which was very rude of him; he really shouldn't be using her real name since she hadn't introduced herself and telling people you knew their real name when you were Varia didn't make the best impression. He couldn't exactly give her his original name –that went against Varia policy– but he should at least have asked her for her CEDEF codename, since such a longstanding member as she was would certainly have one.

Erica smiled wryly, head tilting to one side eye her eyes lidded briefly. "Officially, all the CEDEF's secretaries are known as 'Annato', both individually and collectively," she said blandly in that distinctive Rain-fashion that indicated irritation at the sheer stupidity of such a system. "Unofficially, as I am senior secretary the rest of the secretarial pool addresses me as 'Wasabi', so as to differentiate me from those serving out the standard eighteen-month post-high-school stint."

Giving every single secretary, male or female, the exact same nickname was a cop-out; Maínomai could see the holes in such a system with ease. They should at least get different names according to what year they joined in!

"How is it you haven't been infiltrated?" He couldn't help asking.

Erica smiled that small, sly Rain-smile that made Maínomai's flight instincts twinge. "I'm very good at my job," she said demurely, flicking through a coat rack and handing him a rather sharp-looking medium grey Chesterfield Coat –according to the label anyway– and taking back the black pea coat. "How does that one look?"

Maínomai decided that discretion was his friend and went along with the change of subject, letting the illusion of his best friend try on the coat and do a little twirl. This coat made Illusion-Pýř smirk slightly, so it was definitely the best Erica had found so far. Maínomai couldn't think of her by either of her codenames; the official one was just trite and the unofficial one sounded more like a friendly nick-name then something to use in public with a near-stranger. Maybe once he'd got to know her better?

He did want to get to know her better, after all.

After buying the coat, visiting three chocolate shops, two bookshops, five toy shops, eight small specialty artisan workshops –half of which Maínomai hadn't even realised existed– a music shop and a second-hand shop, the Mist found himself faced with a truly dreadful revelation.

"What do you mean, no tea shops?"

Erica gave him an odd look. "Maínomai, Italians don't really do tea," she explained gently. "We don't even sell kettles or teapots in the supermarkets; all the ones in Vongola Headquarters are imported. There might be a specialty tea-shop in Rome or Florence or Milan, but really, this close to Christmas you're better off trying to get coffee."

"No! It has to be tea!" Maínomai insisted fiercely, then wilted when she stiffened in the face of his admittedly-blatant rudeness. "Please?" He tacked on miserably. He had to get tea! Proper, good-quality loose-leaf tea, because the Captain liked that stuff and it always improved his mood. Maínomai hadn't realised it was a specialty import…

Erica sighed. "Well, Vongola Housekeeping does import a variety of teas and my mother is in Housekeeping, so I suppose I could ask…"

Maínomai carefully dumped all the bags on the ground and grabbed her hands. "Would you? Please? It's really important and there really isn't anything else I could get that would be even half as good… I could do you a favour for it?" Favours were something Varia members really weren't supposed to hand out to people who weren't Quality, but this was an emergency! Besides, Erica did have a certain Prince's compliments, so even if she wasn't Quality she was pretty close to it!

"Be my date for the CEDEF Christmas party?"

Maínomai relaxed his grip on her hands out of sheer surprise. "You want me to go with you to a party as a favour?" He'd have gone along anyway if she'd asked; he owed her more than hot chocolate and food for her help today as it was!

"It's an awful party," Erica confided, face falling visibly. "It's loud, all the other secretaries giggle too much, the men are just dreadful and Sawada is just so embarrassing I want to die. Never mind that I've been working for him for over three years now and he still can't remember my name."

Maínomai felt torn between wanting to laugh at this very Cloudy rant at the horrors of office parties and wanting to hug the little secretary until she brightened up again. Just talking about the party had somehow leeched all the life and colour out of her. He decided on the hug; laughing would just get him hit. "Mission accepted," he muttered into her hair after sweeping her off her feet. "Is there anyone who needs to die? Or even just have a near-fatal accident? I can do those too."

Erica chuckled, tentatively wrapping her arms around his shoulders to prolong the embrace. "No deaths or messy accidents; we don't have the staff these days," she said into his scarf with a shaky sigh. "But verbal evisceration and humorously non-fatal stuff is fine."

Vindictive Rain-humour was just so much fun! Maínomai carefully set Erica back on her feet and kissed her cheek. "I still feel like I owe you," he admitted candidly, picking up the bags again, "even if it really is that bad a party. I mean, I'd like to date you anyway. You're wonderful." He was babbling, so he really needed to shut up and focus on something else. Like Erica.

Erica blushed adorably; red all along her cheekbones and across her nose! It was so, so cute! "I… I like you too," she admitted shyly, reminding Maínomai that Rains tended to be late developers in the whole romance thing. "You help me forget about work and make me smile."

Maínomai beamed in delight. He'd found a cute, trustworthy lady to date! One who didn't mind his kleptomania problem! "Okay, so it's a date for the party," he said brightly, "and I'll still owe you for the tea. Is that everything on both lists now?"

"I… yes," Erica managed, retrieving both pieces of paper from her pocket to consult. "The party's tomorrow evening from eight, CEDEF Headquarters; I'll meet you in the foyer at eight fifteen with the tea?"

"Sounds fine to me!" Maínomai agreed happily. He had plenty of time before then to wrap and hide the other presents and the tea wouldn't be hard to sort out afterwards, not even if the party dragged on until four in the morning.

"Right, so if that's everything we should go back to the car and sort out your shopping from mine," Erica said more decisively, clearly having recovered her composure as she grabbed his arm.

"Lead on!" Maínomai chirped. This was his best Christmas shopping trip ever!

Maínomai knew that to make a Rain complain -even if that Rain was of a Cloudy nature- the CEDEF's party had to be dire. He just hadn't realised it was this terrible! Maínomai felt horrified and it wasn't even nine yet.

His day had started out well enough. Erica had told him that it was a rather casual affair, unlike the Vongola's formal ball the day before the Solstice, but he still needed to look nice. He didn't want to embarrass his date. So he had gone through his wardrobe and with utmost seriousness selected his party outfit before going to breakfast. He took enough time for Pýř to peek in, blue-black hair brushed back and an extra mug of coffee in hand. Maínomai took the drink, checked it with Flames out of reflex and downed it when both coffee and mug showed up clean. His friend and minder wasn't that fond of poison, but as it was the holidays nothing was sacred and despite Housekeeping's best efforts not everything remained safe. If Pýř hadn't been Pýř then he wouldn't have been let through all the security on the door; it wasn't an established Territory where his room existed in a space out of sync with reality, but Maínomai specialised in Alteration, which meant he had a wicked set of defences against anyone that wasn't Pýř and any intruders would have to pick their way through layers of Enchantments. Maínomai just had to protect his wrapped gifts from his friend, which only took a few more Enchantments, this time altered to keep his friend from noticing and finding them.

"Have you notified Housekeeping of when you need picked up and dropped off for your date?"

Maínomai thought back. "Er, no. I should do that." For when he needed to get dropped off anyway; he didn't know when the party would finish.

So the fact that he was attending the CEDEF's Christmas party was explained to Housekeeping and a ride was arranged to get him there; Maínomai had already explained to Pýř the previous night that he had been invited by the senior secretary of the CEDEF who had helped him with his shopping. His day progressed pretty normally from there, after a visit to Glace to tell him about the Rain-tricks that he had recently witnessed so that Maínomai and the Mists could learn to copy them properly. It would save them money and be so useful for stake-outs! Glace looked like he was interested in that particular usage but it wasn't like Glace used his Rain Flame's conventionally either. A quick visit to Information even allowed him to refresh his mind on who was who in the CEDEF!

He had then gotten changed and been taken to CEDEF's Headquarters so he could met Erica early by a few minutes. The front lounge was nice, if rather boring and impersonal with various Christmas songs being played over a sound system of some kind. Erica had been waiting for him, although spotting her had taken a moment as there had been no shortage of other people loitering and chatting. Most of them looking like recent high-school graduates, oddly enough; Maínomai hadn't realised CEDEF recruited so heavily from the mafia academies.

Erica had caught his wrist at that point, making him realise he'd been about to pick some teenager's pocket; whoops. She didn't seem to mind though, steering him towards the lift and pressing a button for one of the upper floors.

"I've got the tea in my office, since I wasn't sure which kind you wanted and there's quite a variety," she explained. "You can leave you coat there too; it'll be safer."

"Thank-you," Maínomai said sincerely, mentally racking up another minor favour he owed her. "You look stunning," he added, because it was true. The red cocktail dress with its halter neck, asymmetrical hem and silvery spangles looked just stunning on her, especially with the low silvery heels she had on her feet and the sprigs of real holly twined into the chignon on the top of her head; he'd have to watch out for those prickles later.

"Thank-you," Erica said, smiling at the compliment. It wasn't a wide, carefree smile like she'd shown the previous day, which Maínomai vowed to rectify. She needed to smile more! "You look very good as well."

"Thanks." The Mist was about to ask what the matter was when the lift doors opened into a wide, airy foyer with smart sofas on one side and a large desk on the other. Erica led him over towards the desk, making Maínomai realise this was where she worked. It looked lonely, especially since that was clearly her Boss's office over there. It was really just her and Sawada up here most of the time? No wonder she looked so severe normally…

Erica lifted up a suitcase from behind the desk, set it on the top and opened the catches. "I appealed to my mother," she said, "and while I now owe her a favour, you can have one tea caddy of your choice. Housekeeping only buys this stuff because specific people want it, so my letting you take one means there's the potential for whoever-it-is running out before Housekeeping can order more in."

Maínomai's eyes widened. Oh, he owed her big then. Very big, he mentally amended when she opened the case properly and he saw there was a choice of fourteen tins.

"Can I open them?"

"Go for it; they aren't sealed," Erica said. "With tea being able to test it is very important."

After choosing a tea he thought the Captain would like best and secreting it away in his coat pocket Maínomai had left his coat on the hooks behind Erica's desk and been led down a few floors to the area where the party proper was taking place.

This had to be shock.

In all honesty, Maínomai had thought it would be one of those boring office parties. Dreadfully boring, people gossiping about everything, people eating too much, people drinking too much, embarrassing drunk speeches from superiors and maybe some drunken singing along to the carols playing. Basically everything that could be expected by forcing everyone that worked 'together' to socialise outside of work.

The CEDEF's Christmas Party was not a boring office party. All told, he had expected a little weirdness from it because the CEDEF was part of the Vongola so something like a contest or scavenger hunt wouldn't be out of the question. The CEDEF wasn't filled with celebrating assassins either, unlike the Varia who thankfully didn't have one huge event like this; that would be a disaster waiting to happen.

He had not been expecting a frat party that looked to be in full swing already, despite it being barely a quarter to nine.

He hadn't had a good opinion of the CEDEF's people to begin with bar a few exceptions, from having read through a lot of the Varia's information on the CEDEF today. This... this had... he lacked words.

"I'm fluent in a lot of languages and proficient in more than the basics for about twenty more but I lack words." He admitted, quite glad to be hiding behind a screen of Tranquillity provided by his date as they wandered up the buffet table and he tried to process what he was seeing and hearing.

These were the people in charge of the Vongola's Intelligence?

People travelled in packs, some more drunk than others with shouts to other travelling packs, sprinkled with giggles and drunken flirtation when any group of men collided with a band of women. There was plenty of alcohol going around and there were even a few women dressed up in elf costumes bringing nibbles and drinks to the people staying away from the buffet; some of the elves had a seriousness to their eyes and a fake smile that said experienced server while others looked like they were fresh from school and going to drag some guy off to be a frisky elf with later.

"I said it was awful and Sawada hasn't even started to be embarrassing yet." Erica confessed dryly.

"He's in a drinking contest with a guy that looks like he's going to get alcohol poisoning. Or throw up and start drinking again." Maínomai pointed out as he started observing the party in all seriousness. "Is there anything that's not alcoholic to drink?"

"There are the canned drinks, water and coffee from the office machines if you're a teetotaller."

"Tonight, I most certainly am," he said firmly as Sawada's drinking opponent found a trashcan shoved in front of him by his more sober co-workers to heave in.

Four hours later Maínomai was very glad he had abstained from alcohol entirely; his impulse control was bad enough without alcohol and that wasn't even including his kleptomania issues, although Erica was giving him free reign with the latter this evening so his pockets were already pretty full. He really wanted to kill a number of Erica's co-workers for being Stupid, or at least let them kill themselves; the ones that were passed out for instance didn't need to live if they were dumb enough to pass out drunk and potentially vomit in their sleep and choke on it. Erica had explained that the sensible people had long since retreated to the basement for cards and had a rotation set up to appear, get food or fresh drinks and lay out unconscious co-workers in places that they wouldn't get tripped on; they weren't regular rotations either. The last one was at six in the morning.

Maínomai really wanted to get away from this 'party' and flee to the basement for sanity, or maybe even back to the Varia who had sense. He'd promised Erica though and she clearly needed more support than she was getting from her colleagues, so he stayed.

Aside from the passed-out idiots, Maínomai had deflected no less than a dozen drunks away from Erica, one of which had been truly persistent and Maínomai had put down for a nap with a whisper of Flame. He had also been hit on no less than twenty times, felt up three times –from two of the drunk elves and their uncostumed friend– and he had long since lost track of how many had actually checked him out sensibly from a distance. He now had five phone numbers that he had slipped to Erica because he wasn't going to call them and well, she was something like their Boss since their Boss was still partying like mad. She was definitely in charge of most of the younger women, since she made a point of addressing each one by name.

He couldn't even kill or maim the people he was being irritated by, so that left 'verbal evisceration' and 'humorous non-fatal stuff' to work with as a way to channel any violent impulses. The verbal evisceration he had used on the overly friendly elves, which had sent one of them running off crying. He felt bad about that but he had still done the same to the man so drunk that he thought he was talking to Erica, despite Maínomai being nearly a foot taller than his date.

It was a truly awful party.

Eventually, after chatting with some of the more sober fieldwork teams at about two in the morning, he was recognised as Varia and even that was more due to the name he gave than any actual ability to spot him; as a general rule the CEDEF used spices and herbs, few in the Vongola used anything but their actual name while the Varia used whatever they wanted as a codename. No one with sense would name their kid Maínomai or anything that was generally used by the Varia. Somebody in the field team group had actually known Greek too, so had been able to translate the nickname and confirm for the others that it definitely hadn't been something any sane parent would choose.

Due to being Varia and Erica's date, this caused a bit of a stir in the gossip but it did prevent any more buzzed inquiries about their availability and willingness to jump into bed with anybody else later; the actual drunks weren't deterred, being drunk. Because he was paying attention, Maínomai could follow the change in behaviour and attitudes across the room, especially among the more sober ones who were generally those that worked in the field. By this point in the evening they were the only ones still standing, as opposed to swaying or floundering. Maínomai was able to see when the gossip of who his senior secretary was dating reached Sawada Iemitsu.

Sawada lurched to his feet, but then corrected himself enough to prevent a fall as the man's Sky Flames worked to clear out all the alcohol he had consumed. A few minutes later, Sawada reached them and launched into the most patronizing rant towards Erica, tossed a few insults his way –for being a murderer for hire, too controlling and 'entirely unsuited'– and the entire thing was pretty much a hypocritical waste of breath because the guy didn't even remember Erica's name. He just called her 'Anna' and as the entire secretarial pool shared that codename... just...

Erica grabbed his hand tight as her Flames settled into glassy stillness in the face of her Boss's blatant disrespect of her personal choices. Maínomai was about to do something he definitely wouldn't regret when Sawada patted Erica on the shoulder, told her she should be grateful he was looking out for her then turned his back and walked back to the buffet for another drink.

Seriously though, nobody would miss Sawada, would they?

"Don't kill him." Erica reminded him quietly, throwing up another delicate screen of Tranquillity.

"It could look like an accident. Drunk himself to death." Maínomai offered. It would be a public service.

"Killing him would be bad for the Vongola, CEDEF and everyone. There isn't anybody else." That sounded very, very practiced; how long had his poor date been reminding herself of that? Months? Years?

"No killing then," He reminded himself. "Drunken idiot is... oh, there's an idea. He's like this every year right?"

"More or less." Erica looked resigned. "Every Christmas, New Year and end of July, in fact."

"And he drinks this much and encourages everyone to behave like idiots because it's fun or something?"

"And your point?"

"I'm going to change that."

And then he did.

Erica had not had any hopes at all for the annual CEDEF Christmas party, because that just left a person disappointed. The party would be dreadful, Iemitsu would be acutely embarrassing and the entire affair could only be gotten through by taking careful note of which of the new hires were being sensible, which were simply young and foolish and which were plain Stupid. After the party she'd write up lists to share with the field captains, which they would take into consideration when deciding which of the new recruits would be offered positions of greater responsibility once their internships were up, which would be recommended elsewhere and which would just get dropped. 'Party testing' was entirely unofficial –Iemitsu didn't know they did it– and it was going to stay that way, because if her boss knew about it he'd discount it on the basis that people's off-duty behaviour had nothing to do with how they were on the job.

He's actually said that to her once; Erica naturally disagreed with him. A person's off-duty behaviour said more about them than how they acted in the office, and with responsibilities like they had in the CEDEF it was infinitely preferable not to put incompetents in positions of influence. Unfortunately Iemitsu was an incompetent –relatively speaking– in a position of influence, but he'd been made head of the CEDEF because he was a Sky and Don Nono's favourite nephew so he was impossible to get rid of. If any of her uncles had been more interested in the Family's welfare than the position of Decimo then any one of them could have displaced him with relative ease –Iemitsu had subordinates, not Guardians– but they hadn't and now Federico was the only one left so the point was moot.

Having Maínomai as her date was really helping to make this party better than the previous ones she'd suffered through though, as he always had her back, was very good at fending off drunk morons who thought they were being suave and clearly agreed with her that the entire event was a travesty. Having somebody to snark with who didn't abandon her for the basement twenty minutes in was a genuine godsend and once things started to wind down she had every intention of dragging him off somewhere moderately private for a proper make-out session so he'd know he was appreciated. Erica genuinely liked Maínomai –it helped that he was yummy to look at and artlessly charming– so her drunken idiot of a boss deciding to ruin her evening by humiliating her in public with his unwanted opinions on her taste in men was really, painfully insulting. Never mind that as Mafiosi they were all criminals for hire; Iemitsu couldn't even remember her name! Who did he think he was, telling her they were unsuited!

Nonetheless she reminded Maínomai not to kill the idiot. Maínomai somewhat grudgingly complied with her request, but then his face lit up with utter mischief. It looked far too good on him for her peace of mind, sanity or ability to resist.

"I'm going to change that."

Erica felt rather than saw the subtle flicker of Mist Flames spiralling across the room; she saturated the entire area the party was held in and the floors above and below with her own Flames as a matter of course, as the Tranquillity factor made for a very effective motion detection system enabling her to locate people who passed out in out-of-the-way corners and keep track of amorous couples. There weren't any other Flame Users in the secretarial pool though, and while about a third of the people working in the field could access their Flames, barely a handful had anything approaching proper training. As the CEDEF's Sky, training Flame Users was supposedly Iemitsu's responsibility but her boss was more interested in running missions in the field than riding a desk and overseeing training. As a result, while the field teams good enough to deal with normal Mafiosi and civilians they were just cannon-fodder to any capable Flame-User they attempted to oppose.

That was what had probably happened with the whole 'Flood of Blood' incident. All signs pointed to that being the work of a powerful Mist and the lack of proper training available in the CEDEF just meant that no-one had the means to so much as see through illusions, which were really only the beginning of what a creative Mist could do.

Erica blinked, then stared as Iemitsu finished a bottle of vodka and started swaying visibly; it usually took at least four before he started doing that. Gently pulling her date towards the edge of the festivities she called up a subtle Tranquillity screen around them.

"Maínomai, what did you do?"

The Varia assassin grinned like a child on Christmas morning. "I quartered his alcohol tolerance."

"What."

"I quartered his alcohol tolerance," Maínomai repeated obligingly, still grinning from ear to ear as he let her tow him away from the noise and bustle. "I made it a pretty obvious trigger, so any competent Mist should be able to find it and remove it no problem. Provided Sawada actually notices, suspects something and takes himself to a Mist for a check-up that is."

"You quartered his alcohol tolerance." Erica brought them to a stop by the lift, pressing the call button.

"I did," Maínomai agreed, still beaming in a way that was eroding her common sense by the second. "That wasn't all I did though."

"Maínomai…"

"You said humorously non-fatal was fine!" He was still grinning, rocking back and forth like a child who knew they'd been naughty but was sure you'd see things their way.

"What did you do?"

"I made it so that whenever he gets drunk enough to pass out, which will probably be all the time now I've quartered his tolerance, he'll strip down to his boxers," Maínomai admitted impishly, eyes sparkling with glee.

Erica couldn't help it; she laughed out loud for the first time all evening, helpless in the face of the hilarity bubbling up from her gut. She reached out to grab onto her date's arm just to stay on her feet, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes.

Then the lift pinged, so Erica dragged Maínomai into it, still giggling as he sniggered along with her. Then once inside the lift she grabbed onto his collar and went up on tiptoe so she could kiss him. The tall Mist got with the program at once, which was a relief because he was actually just slightly too tall for her to kiss him without him bending down a bit. Erica hit the button for the top floor while pouring just enough Flames into the electrics to make the lift glacially slow rather than bring it to a total halt; she didn't want to be interrupted any time soon.

"You," Erica managed to gasp out between kisses, "are a genius. A saint. Life is suddenly looking so much less dismal. God…" By the time the lift reached the top floor she'd loosened his tie, seriously wrinkled his shirt and smeared lipstick all across his mouth and chin. Not that Maínomai hadn't been giving as good as he got; her dress was hiked up on one side where he was holding her up and he'd completely destroyed her hairdo.

"What kind of date would I be if I just let somebody humiliate you like that?" He rumbled back at her, grinning like the cat that had eaten the canary for a moment before swooping back down to attack her mouth again. Erica moaned happily. Best date ever!

Maínomai finally arrived back at the Varia Mansion at five o'clock in the morning on Christmas day with his tie crooked, his shirt misbuttoned with lipstick on the collar and a sprig of holly tangled in his hair. He also had that distantly pensive look that was an indicator of intense concentration and a sign that all Varia members who aspired to remaining as sane as they currently were should really keep their distance; the flighty Mist so rarely gave anything his full attention that when it happened it was a sign that something was going to melt, explode or mysteriously collapse; potentially all three at once.

Pýř was waiting outside the front doors along with half of Information, the Mists responsible for the Varia's intelligence gathering.

"How did it go then?" The Cloud asked.

"I got another date for after Christmas," Maínomai said absently, fishing in his coat pocket for a few moments before pulling out a mobile phone. "Oh, and this guy was Stupid." He tossed the phone at the other Mists, who all looked thrilled. "Have fun."

Leaving the various Mists to play with the stolen phone, Pýř watched as Maínomai stopped by Information to pick up several specific forms to fill out; he was going to make a thorough report of the party. Knowing how his partner worked, the Cloud stopped by Housekeeping to pick up some hot chocolate for his friend, which proved to be a wise decision since the Mist was utterly focused on writing the report in one of those tiny rooms that Information kept free of distractions purposely so reports could be written promptly. Pýř suspected that there would be copies circulating around before noon; maybe even before breakfast was finished, he amended since his partner was finishing the report quickly instead of having to do it three times due to wandering focus and lack of organization while writing in ink.

Pýř suspected Maínomai had used the ride back to compose the report he was currently writing without pause. Three pages later Pýř was concerned; that was a long report as those were front and back. The recon report ended at barely half a side; the surveillance report on the other hand went on for seven pages. Then it was finished and shoved over as Maínomai worked on an 'after action' report, which had its own form. Those weren't a good sign, since they generally meant that something had happened that needed to be reported.

Since his partner hadn't said otherwise Pýř scanned the report which was written in very formal language, which made the report Interesting. Maínomai didn't usually do formal. It began with a rundown of security, which was rather dismal compared to what the Varia were used to. Cover as an office building or not, there should have been someone watching the party entrance. The internal security was also remarkably lax considering the CEDEF had been occupying that building for a few years now. Maínomai hadn't even noticed anything beyond what the building may have been built with other than a few Mist Wards and those were internal, covering a few desks that had to belong to some of those that went out in the field, since the CEDEF didn't require any skill at using Flame to join unlike the Varia. Then there was the general atmosphere which was described as 'frat party gone wild.'

Maínomai had then spent the next few pages detailing interactions with others in the tabled format typical to surveillance reports, complete with times instead of writing it all out and... had it really taken CEDEF until 2 am to notice that they had someone from the Varia in the building? Pýř knew that the alcohol had been flowing freely considering how many times the words 'drunk' and 'passed out' were checked out in the table, but... his partner had been there since about 8pm. Pýř scanned on, noticed the mention of Sawada, read carefully about the man's comments and figured that his friend had gotten a sneaky bit of revenge in for how Sawada treated Maínomai's date. How the CEDEF boss treated her in general, if he read between the lines correctly. So that's what the action report was for... and well, Maínomai's appearance spoke for itself about why very little was listed towards the end of the night and not just because everyone was snoring or had otherwise left.

Maínomai then finished the after-action report –which was thankfully very short– and waded into the recommendation report with the grim determination of a man possessed. Pýř hadn't seen his partner like this since that mission to Jakarta two summers ago… it was rare that it happened but considering that Maínomai was Varia Quality despite living his life about sixty percent distracted, well, it didn't bode well whenever he was properly focused.

"Hot chocolate?" Pýř asked when his partner finally surfaced properly; gesturing to the mug that Maínomai's intense focus had made him blind to.

"You're the best!" Maínomai said as he did a brief check of the hot chocolate, before another flare of Flame warmed the drink to hot instead of merely warm.

Pýř picked up the reports and handed them to the Mist outside of the room –the Varia would like to see the newest of the CEDEF's bungles so he was probably headed straight for the photocopier– and told his partner, "If you hurry you could wash up, eat an early breakfast and catch a nap before presents get exchanged. You also have something here and here," he added, gesturing to the lipstick stains on Maínomai's face and the holly still in his hair.

"Eh?" The Mist said as he pulled down the holly entangled in his hair. "Pýř!"

Recognising that being easily distracted made dating successfully rather challenging, Maínomai made a deliberate effort to pick a variety of fun things to do with Erica whenever she had the time. She was after all the one with the full-time job, not him; as one of the Varia his time was mostly devoted to training and missions, which left him with far more free time if irregular hours. After Christmas he took her ice skating, then to the Pasqualino International Puppet Museum right before New Year and on New Year's Eve he gleefully escorted her to the CEDEF party and got to admire his handiwork when Iemitsu Sawada keeled over drunk at barely quarter past ten and was still snoring behind a sofa in his underwear when midnight came around. That was a much tamer party and exponentially more enjoyable as a result, as none of Erica's other colleagues seemed to mind him dating her in the slightest. Well, not that they were letting onto anyway, which showed they had some sense. He had ignored the giggling high-school graduates, who were far gigglier than he remembered any girl being when he was in school.

In January Maínomai managed to persuade Pýř to help him arrange a date-friendly silent movie evening, which ended up taking place at Erica's apartment as that was the easiest way to avoid unexpected invasions and tainted food. Erica took a bit more persuading than Pýř did, but the evening ended up going very well indeed despite the addition of Wanhope, Fuseau and Mab. Maínomai hadn't known that Mab and Fuseau were dating and had a feeling that Pýř hadn't either. Did anybody know they were dating? The question was since when and how had they kept it secret?

Introducing Erica to a few of his colleagues had been interesting, especially since Wanhope was probably the least social Mist in the entire Division, but Erica had risen to the occasion admirably. She'd also proved that you didn't need to be Varia to have brilliant ideas, as her suggestion for dealing with Wanhope's aura proved:

"Can't you, I don't know, tune him out?" Erica had asked curiously, eyes flicking between the other three Mists present. "I mean, shouldn't Alteration let you do that?"

Maínomai had looked at Fuseau and Mab, who had looked back with very blank expressions on their faces. That sort of blank said, 'I feel really stupid', so he had tried it; it had worked. Probably just within the apartment, since he didn't really want to keep something up on a larger range and he was useless at Territories, but still; it had worked.

"I feel like an idiot," Maínomai admitted, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek, "and you are completely wonderful."

Wanhope hadn't said a word all evening, but he'd eaten the popcorn, watched the movies and accepted a drink from Erica, which was probably a record of some kind. Maínomai suspected Fuseau would be dragging his mission partner along to more Varia movie nights now he knew it was possible to protect people from the silent Mist's oppressive aura and rather looked forward to getting to know the other man a bit better. Okay, Wanhope didn't talk much –or at all really– but he wasn't mean or difficult so he was worth getting to know. So far all Maínomai knew about him was that he was the person who stress-tested the Varia uniform materials and that he specialised in Puppeteering, which wasn't much considering.

They'd watched Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and The Mark of Zorro, which made for an unusual combination but were very interesting, especially as these were the 'Varia modified' versions that had proper musical soundtracks to them. The first two, being horror movies, had probably been re-scored by Kuchisake considering how chilling the music was, but Maínomai knew that Sekti had done the last one; it said so on the box. Sekti was quite a good musician for all that his preferred hobby was storytelling and he clearly considered scoring silent movies to be a worthwhile form of narrative.

After movie night –which had been unusually successful for a group date plus two, considering– Erica's work really started picking up again, so Maínomai had to make do with buying her fancy breakfasts, bringing her expensive coffee and chocolates at work and taking her out to bars with live music in the evenings. He also provided back, neck and foot massages, encouragement and cuddles. Erica was very cuddly; she fitted on his lap perfectly and had extremely enticing curves.

There was also the sex, which was very good indeed, but Maínomai considered that to be a given; he and Erica were having a fling, therefore there was sex. He was pretty sure this wasn't a serious relationship –Erica would probably have been a bit more forthcoming on various personal and family things if she'd wanted this to be serious– so he was enjoying it while it lasted and making sure Erica enjoyed it too. He did really like Erica as a person, so with a bit of luck they could go on being friends afterwards.

Their last date was one Erica picked out to take him on, which was a fun reversal. She also hadn't told him what it was, but it turned out to be a trip to Palermo's Capuchin Catacombs, which Maínomai had heard about from Kuchisake but never actually seen. They were very interesting and he had a whale of a time wandering around the different corridors examining the various mummified bodies. He could see why Kuchisake liked this place; it was very her.

After that date they decided between them that, while they'd had a lot of fun, their relationship wasn't going anywhere. Maínomai was a bit sad, but while he'd been cheerfully in lust with Erica and cared for her as a friend there'd been no genuine love there. It turned out she'd felt the same about him, which was encouraging really. They kept the friendship going with texts, coffee dates and another silent movie night, which was impromptu. Very impromptu: Wanhope had appeared out of nowhere with a stack of videos as Maínomai was leaving Varia Headquarters and the cheery Mist had agreed that it was a great idea, then dragged the other man along with him. Not that Wanhope had resisted; then again, Wanhope generally didn't.

That movie night had included The Phantom of the Opera, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which gave Maínomai some insight into his silent colleague's tastes and plenty to talk about. The three of them had a great evening eating popcorn, commenting on various plot-holes and admiring the special effects –well Maínomai knew that he had fun and so did Erica; Wanhope was really remarkably opaque, but he did actually engage in a bit of eye-contact and exhibited some body language, so Maínomai took it as a good sign.

Two days after movie night Erica texted, asking him to come over to Vongola Housekeeping that afternoon. Since it was a Sunday and he didn't have a mission Maínomai didn't have a problem with that, although he was curious. Was this maybe about the favour she owed her mother, or possibly the favour he still owed her? He didn't actually know who her mother was; the Lanzas were a rather large family that had belonged to the wider Vongola Family since Quarto's time and had produced several Vongola Guardians, with a number of Vongola marrying into the family as well. Maínomai had a feeling that Erica had Vongola blood in her somewhere as she looked quite a lot like the pictures of Ottava as a young woman; maybe she was the great-granddaughter of one of Ottava's siblings?

Upon arriving at the Vongola Mansion Maínomai was directed to the heavily-defended Housekeeping Wing, which was… unusual. Generally meetings –even informal personal meetings– took place in the main building somewhere. The Housekeeping Wing was where the members of Housekeeping who belonged to the Vongola Family actually lived, along with their children. Hence the considerable levels of fortification.

Erica was waiting for him in a small sitting room, looking rather nervous.

"Are you okay?" Maínomai asked worriedly. His brain had been freewheeling all over the place ever since he'd been shown in the front door, coming up with all kinds of crazy scenarios.

"I'm okay," Erica reassured him with a small smile, "sit down, please?"

Maínomai sat down, reassured but still concerned. "Is there anything wrong?" he asked next.

"Nothing wrong, exactly," Erica hedged, "but something's come up I thought you should know about."

Had Sawada found out about the prank and blamed her? Was there something wrong with Xanxus –who everyone in the Varia knew was on ice in the Iron Fort's basement– and he'd been selected as messenger? Was –

"I'm pregnant."

Maínomai's mind went completely blank.