No Words

Reid is shot. Morgan POV

WARNING: deathfic!

It's Halloween and we were out on an open and shut case. The streets were crowded with children and adults in costumes. Reid and I were completely unnoticeable by most as we went up to the house of our perpetrator in our FBI vests. We weren't the only ones in FBI vests this night.

'You better not go to that house yet.' An older teenager told us in good nature as we went into the driveway of the place. 'Guy that lives there never opens and has traps all over his yard to avoid our tricks. We'll come by at the end of the night to rile him up.'

'You'll want to stay away from this house yourself.' I said, and pulled out my identification.

The kid simply sneered.

'You want me to believe you're a real FBI agent? Go in to the house then, don't come crying to me when one of his traps set off.'

I sighed as the kid left, and shared a small smile with Reid. He loved Halloween and I still couldn't see why. I thought it to be a waste of time. Whenever we are out on a case on Halloween, we are met with an even higher level of distrust than normally, and the public won't listen to us.

'Let's go in.' Reid said and walked along the driveway, with small glances towards the grass, presumably to find whatever traps the kid had been talking about.

He knocked on the door and, true to the teenager's words, nothing happened.

'FBI! We need to ask you a few questions, sir.' Reid called, announcing our presence according to protocol.

When no answer came, we both pulled our guns and Reid stepped to the side, giving me room to kick the door in.

It flew open with one kick and I immediately turned my flashlight on; the house was completely dark. I let my light travel to the sides and I knew Reid was doing the same next to me.

A shot was fired, and I turned in the direction of the noise as I was ducking out of the door in reaction. All I saw was the outline of a figure, and the fire from a muzzle as another shot went off. I fired only moments after and heard the loud thud of a body hitting the floor.

I turned to Reid.

'Reid, you…' I stopped cold when I saw the paleness of his face, and he stumbled backwards, back onto the driveway. I saw him fall and stepped in to catch him before he hit the ground, and lowered him down gently. He hadn't made a sound.

'Shots fired! Agent down!' I said into the radio, but didn't hear their reply as I had seen the pulses of blood coming out of the wound in his thigh. It was so red, so bright.

I pressed my hands hard against the wound to stanch the flow as I looked at his face. There was no pain to be seen in his eyes, only surprise and confusion, and they seemed to get duller by the second. It scared me.

The blood was still flowing between my fingers and I undid my belt with one hand to make it into a tourniquet for his leg.

'Hold on, kid.' I pressed out through my constricted throat as I put more pressure onto his leg.

I could feel his pulse under my hand, but it was quickly fading. Not until then did the meaning of the much too red blood hit me and I felt myself exhale in dismay. An artery had been hit.

I looked at him again, and he opened his mouth to speak. There were no words coming out. He frowned tiredly, and tried again before he locked his eyes with mine, and I saw his distress.

'It's all right, Reid. You don't have to talk. Just stay with me.' I said quickly even as his eyelids looked to get heavier and heavier.

I turned away from him for just a moment to talk into the radio. 'Hurry!'

'Reid!' I said in horror as I turned back again to see his eyes fully shut. I took a deep breath in relief when I saw him him open his eyes, even though he did not open them fully. I'm not sure he himself was aware of how little he actually opened them.

But he looked at me steadily. He wasn't confused anymore. He wasn't even scared. He simply looked calm, and resigned.

'Don't give up on me!' I didn't know how to go on without him.

His gaze held firm, and he looked at me as though he knew. We both knew. I couldn't tell him that everything would be fine, because it wouldn't be.

The pulse in his leg was almost gone when he gave me a small smile, and his eyes fell closed for the final time.

'Don't leave!' I shouted, but I knew he didn't hear me. He had already left. He was gone, and I couldn't breathe.

'Reid…' I whispered, and removed my hand from his thigh. I scooted myself closer to his head and lifted it up, holding him close to my chest.

I wasn't ready! I wasn't ready for him to leave me. I needed more time. I wanted to roll back time. Why didn't I insist we wait for backup? Why didn't I tell him to stay behind cover?

I started to rock us softly.

…

That is how the team found me. With the body of my best friend in my bloody hands. With the entire neighborhood watching what they believed to be a Halloween act.

They try to speak with me, their mouths are moving but I can't hear them. I hug Reid's cold body closer to myself, wishing I can bring him just a little bit of warmth.

Then my hands are being forcibly removed from my best friend, and Hotch is grabbing me beneath my armpits, pulling me backwards, barely giving me time to get to my feet. He leans me against a car.

I see JJ and Emily close in around Reid, with tears flowing down their faces but then Hotch places himself in front of me, and I can no longer see my friend.

'Morgan!' Hotch's voice sounds distant, and I blink, trying to get him into focus. I can recognize that I am falling, or have already fallen, into shock, but I don't care. My best friend is lying on a driveway, and the public thinks it is some kind of spectator sport. My best friend is lying dead on a driveway.

He had left me without as much as a word.

'Morgan!' Hotch says it louder and I increase my efforts to bring him into focus.

His eyes are watery, but he isn't crying. Neither am I.

I haven't accepted it. I want to live in denial forever. I want to keep him close. But I know that he's gone.

There are no words

There are no final goodbyes.

There is no peace.

All there is is pain.

I can't believe I wrote this, I usually stay as far away from deathfics as possible, and considered hiding this one away in the darkest reaches of my file system.

I'm consoling myself with the fact that it's just a story...

Happy Halloween…?

- yaruna