CHAPTER 11:

WENLEY MOOR, WENLEY LESS

NOTICE TO ALL PERSONNEL

Given that we are now tasked with guarding the Wenley Moor Research Facility, I would ask each and every one of you to maintain the level of professionalism needed for members of UNIT, and NOT the level of professionalism you have demonstrated thus far. This means refraining from antagonising Director Lawrence, no matter how amusing it seems to be. The man already is on edge with the nervous breakdowns amongst staff, the mysterious power fluctuations, and the incompetence of the canteen staff. About the only thing he was grateful for from us was bringing in NAAFI supplies, and you know the standard of catering is abysmal when they prefer NAAFI food to their own food. No wonder most of them go to the pub for dinner. Major Baker, sadly, thinks that the food is too posh now.

We will be continuing this investigation on three fronts. Major Baker and I will be going over the security files, triple-checking them. Dr Shaw will be looking at the medical side of things. And the Doctor will be checking the cyclotron and related technologies. Incidentally, if you see anyone drawing what look like cave drawings on the wall, especially with their own bodily fluids, only restrain them if you have the capability.

SPECIFIC NOTICES TO PERSONNEL:

Captain Hawkins: Welcome to UNIT. And may God have mercy on your soul. Keep in mind that Captain Munro's initial replacement fell victim to a revenge prank (involving fried scampi and a specially-made laxative) Dr Shaw perpetrated on him for calling her an, and I quote, 'nice bit of tail'. Annoy Dr Shaw at your peril. Annoy me at your peril. And annoy the Doctor at your peril.

Dr Shaw: Your revenge prank on Captain Munro's successor was amusing, but kindly refrain from doing it again, and especially not to Doctor Lawrence or Major Baker, no matter how much they irritate you. And you should feel honoured that the Doctor has named his car after you. Elizabeth is a most excellent name, after all, being the name of two monarchs of this country. Finally, you are to be commended for your quick thinking in preventing Spencer from attacking you, though kneeing him in the groin once is perhaps sufficient. Kicking him repeatedly until his ability to breed is perhaps excessive, even if he acts like a priapic caveman, complete with wall-drawing.

The Doctor: Never, EVER mention anything that could be construed as taking apart extremely expensive machinery with a screwdriver, even if it is sonic. Yes, it is amusing to see the indignant look on Dr Lawrence's face. And don't call Dr Quinn a 'medicine woman': he is most certainly a man, and using references to future television shows and movies is not funny if we can't get the joke. Your idea of a nightly movie to keep up morale, however, has merit.

Dr Lawrence: Sir, I understand that you are the chief administrator of this facility. I understand that you do not want us disrupting your research. But I would venture to say that these mysterious power losses are even more disruptive than UNIT's presence, and so too would a disruption causing this facility to explode. As I am sure that even you would want your internal organs remaining internal, please allow us to go about our business.

Major Baker: Please stop going on about the Reds invading, and the lizard men stealing our electricity. I need more proof of either before I can say anything to the others.

A MEDICAL NOTICE FROM DOCTOR ELIZABETH SHAW:

In light of the increasing incidence of people daubing cave-paintings on the walls, I have decided to open a competition for those willing to try their hand. Please keep in mind that normal materials are to be used at all times. No blood, faecal matter, semen, or NAAFI tea is to be used as cave-painting material. The judges will be myself, Doctor John Smith, and Doctor Meredith, the on-site physician of Wenley Moor Research Facility.

Also, would Major Baker please attend to Doctor Meredith's office? You haven't been taking your medication, and in any case, I have something stronger prescribed.

DOCTOR JOHN SMITH'S NIGHTLY MOVIE:

Jurassic Park

CHAPTER 11 ANNOTATIONS:

Another long wait for another chapter. Still, here we have the beginning of the events of Doctor Who and the Silurians.

BTW, I have plenty of Doctor Who fics for you to peruse, as well as other funny fics. On the Doctor Who front, I have Time and Entropy (a crossover with Puella Magi Madoka Magica, takes a while to get good, but worth it, I think), The City That Never Was (a crossover with BioShock Infinite), Quatermass and the Doctor (NOT a self-insert fic, but the first crossover with the Quatermass serials of the 50s) and Tuebor (a crossover with Final Fantasy VI, focusing mostly on Jamie McCrimmon, but featuring the Eighth Doctor as well).

In terms of funny fics, well, there's my Borderlands SI fics, starting with Hooked on a Feeling. Then, there is Your Great-Aunt an AI?!, my Harry Potter/Portal crossover (now with a recommendation on TV Tropes!). There's Nitimur in Vetitum and Newport Mage, two Harry Potter crossovers involving an immortal and unable to die Master of Death Harry in the worlds of Final Fantasy XII and Ghost in the Shell respectively. There's Puella Magi Luna Magica, a two-shot showing what happens when an Incubator from Puella Magi Madoka Magica makes a contract with Luna Lovegood. And there's Resident Evil: Basilisk, with a snarky first person POV for Harry, set during the events of Resident Evil 5.

No numbered annotations this time.