"You do. You do just stop. You know what they call that? Divorce."

She couldn't believe what she heard. Divorce. She spent the whole night saying the word over and over again in her head, turning it upside down and inside out, looking for a hole in there somewhere that would leak the life out of it until it disappeared. Maybe it was all in her head. Maybe he never actually said it.

But he did. And it was all she could see, all she could hear and all she could think about.

She was wrong to go back to the war zone, she knew that. But she also knew how wrong it would've felt if she chose to stay. Every single day at that hospital reminded her of what she lost, of what was left of her and how it all wasn't enough to keep her going anymore.

After her first tour, she thought she got what she needed. She and Jackson had some trouble adjusting to her coming home, but she felt hopeful… until the tunnel collapse happened and she found herself looking on as Meredith showed their patient his newborn baby. Even with Jackson's hand on her shoulder, she couldn't stop herself from spiraling back into her own dark little tunnel.

So she left. Again. But now that she's back and more determined than ever to stay and fight her demons, Jackson had demanded her to leave. He was sleeping on the couch and she was in their bed, but she was the one who didn't belong in this house anymore.

"I am a solider," she whispered to herself, willing herself to keep it together.

Divorce. She hated that word. She could feel her heart breaking a little more each time she said it, until she just couldn't convince herself any longer.

"No, I'm not," she thought. "I'm just… broken."

Then she let her tears flow freely. She cried until she couldn't. And when her body slowly began to give in to sleep, she wondered how long a broken heart could keep on breaking before there's nothing left of it.

Footsteps on the hardwood floor woke Jackson up on the couch. It took him awhile to realize April was there, with her duffel bag slung over her shoulder. The first thing he noticed was how small and tired she looked.

"You were right," she said softly. "This is your house and I don't want you to feel like a prisoner in your own home." She gathered the rest of her things and made her way to the door.

He didn't know what to say. He'd been asking her to leave ever since she got back, but the sight of her actually moving out made him forget that he was the one who asked for this. Seeing her leave, he thought desperately of something to say but he couldn't think of any. Instead, he just watched her walk toward their – his – front door and hang her keys on the hook – the hook she insisted on putting there.

She turned around to look at him. "I really am sorry, Jackson," she said, before closing the door behind her.