Chapter 16

It was Saturday when they finally got back to the The Lightman Group headquarters.

They each carried in several pieces of equipment and then Loker and Torres went back for their individual suitcases.

Cal had gotten the dolly out of the closet and he and Gillian were loading the equipment onto it when they walked back in from their cars.

Cal cleared his throat loudly. "Right then, thank you all for your help these past few days," he announced. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."

Gillian smiled warmly at him. "I think they deserve a few days off."

Cal raised his brows then made an odd face. "We were gone for three days and are probably really far behind. Do you think it's a good idea to let them lollygag around at home?"

Gillian rolled her eyes and looked at Loker and Torres. "Don't come back before Wednesday and enjoy the rest of your weekend." She shot Cal a look then headed to her office.

"What you're still here?" Cal spat at the stunned workers then turned and walked towards his own office.

Gillian immersed herself in accounting while down the hall, Cal caught up on phone messages.

It was close to 6:00pm before Gillian leaned back in her chair and sighed. She looked at the clock and gasped at the time then frowned when she realized Cal had never said goodbye.

She got up to stretch and looked at her shoes. She stuck her tongue out at the high heels then padded down the hallway in her stocking feet.

Cal's door was ajar and she peeked her head in.

"Cal?"

The outer office was empty so she made her way to the inner office. She could tell by the lights flashing under the door that he was watching movies.

"Cal?" she said as she tapped lightly.

"It's open, Darling."

Gillian walked in the dark room and looked up at the screen to find him watching movies of Emily as a baby. With a smile, she sat down next to him and watched too.

She clamped down on the jealousy of seeing Zoe holding Emily as a baby and Cal looking at both of them adoringly. As time wore on, you saw less emotion in their faces unless they were interacting with Emily.

Gillian was surprised to see Cal had included her in some of the videos, mostly the ones for Emily's later birthdays.

The movie ended and Cal sighed. "That's it then."

Gillian knew he was missing his daughter and patted his leg. "She said she was coming home next weekend."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just used to having her around all the time."

"You were really lucky that you were able to have her live with you all these years."

"I was really lucky Zoe was selfish enough to put herself and law school before motherhood."

Gillian couldn't believe she was saying it but she said it anyway. "You can be pretty overwhelming sometimes; maybe after the divorce, Zoe needed to find herself so she could be a better person and mother to Emily."

He made a look of disgust. "At's a lot of psycho babble, that is."

Gillian slapped at him playfully. "That's the truth and you need to learn to accept it."

Cal reached for her hand and held it in his own as he grew serious. "Fancy getting something to eat?" he asked nervously.

Gillian's eyes rose with surprise at his demeanor and squeezed his hand comfortingly. "Do you think we should talk about it first?"

The Line….

Cal's heart sank when he assumed she wanted to draw the proverbial line back in the sand again.

He pretended he didn't know what she was referring to. "Okay, we could talk about it…I was thinking maybe Italian…get a nice salad, some fettuccini alfredo, wine…tiramisu?"

Gillian knew he had put her off and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully as she decided to take matters into her own hands. "Why don't we eat at my house, we can call Mario's and have it delivered?"

Grateful for delaying the serious discussion, Cal reached for the life line she'd thrown. "Whatever you want, Luv."

"Let me get my purse."

"You might want to put shoes on too."

Gillian rolled her eyes as she left his office.

Cal closed down his office then made his way down the hall. Gillian had quickly closed up her office as well then walked out to meet him.

Cal threw his arm around her as they walked to the car. "I'm starving!"

"Me too."

Cal opened the car door for her then walked around to his side.

As he settled into his seat, she sighed. "I think I might take a quick shower before dinner."

"At's fine, I'll watch the telly for awhile."

"When I'm done with my shower, if you'd like you're welcome to clean up as well."

"Am I stinky?" Cal asked as he sniffed at his armpits.

Gillian looked horrified that she had offended him. "I didn't mean it like that."

Cal grinned devilishly then glanced back at his luggage, grateful he still had a change of clothes. "Yeah, if you don't mind, I think I'll do just that."

They fell into a companionable silence. After he parked, Cal grabbed the suitcases out of the car and followed her inside her apartment.

Gillian automatically hit the button on her answering machine and then frowned when she heard her mother's voice asking her to call.

"I need to call her back; you can use the guest room then go ahead and take your shower first."

Cal nodded and made is way to the back of the apartment while he heard Gillian pick up the phone.

Fifteen minutes later, he came out to find Gillian with the phone cradled between her shoulder and her ear, still talking with her mother. She was standing at the counter cutting up the fixings for a salad.

Cal grabbed the knife from her hand then kissed her temple.

Gillian looked up at him for the first time and caressed his cheek, surprised to find him clean shaven.

Cal pushed her towards the door.

She grabbed a menu from the inside of a desk drawer and handed it to him while she shot him an apologetic look. He could hear her still talking while she walked down the hallway.

He glanced at the menu then quickly called and placed the order. He walked to her wine cabinet and grabbed a bottle then uncorked it to let it breathe before he went back to finish making the salad.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery man came with dinner. Cal paid him then frowned wondering how much longer Gillian would be.

At that moment, she came out of her bedroom freshly showered and dressed casually. "I am so sorry; I should have waited to call her tomorrow."

"Don't be silly, Darling, dinner just came."

Gillian walked around the corner and saw that he had finished the salad and the table was set. She looked at him gratefully. "You've been busy."

Cal handed her a glass of wine then sat down at table and started to open up the carryout containers.

They kept the conversation light through dinner. Neither of them was willing to ruin the moment with the serious discussion mentioned earlier.

After dinner, Gillian grabbed the bottle and led the way into the living room then sat down on the couch. She was relieved when Cal sat down next to her instead of in one of the other chairs.

Cal refilled their glasses then settled back.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them as they each tried to decide how to start.

Gillian was the first to clear her throat. "This seems kind of silly."

"What does?"

"The awkwardness between us. You're the one person in my life who I know will always be there for me."

"Yeah, I feel the same way."

"So…I guess I feel like we should be able to talk about anything."

Cal sighed warily and rubbed his hand over his face. "Just get on with it, Gill."

Gillian took a deep calming breath then jumped in. "Not too long ago, David Burns asked you a question..."

Cal cringed when he realized this was the day he would have to answer for his comment. "Yeah."

"Your answer kind of surprised me."

"Yeah, well it surprised me a little too."

"Did you mean it?" Gillian asked as she turned to read his face while he answered.

Cal chanced a glance at her then looked away, scared to death, wondering where this was leading. He sighed as he looked back at her. "Yeah, I meant it." Gillian was at a loss for words and the silence grew until he grunted remorsefully. "Probably shouldn't have admitted it but given the situation we were in I guess he deserved to hear it."

"I deserved to hear it too…and …" she sighed as she took a deep breath. "I'm glad you said it."

"Yeah, why's that?"

Gillian squeezed his hand. "Because one of us finally had the strength to admit what we're both feeling."

Shocked by her revelation, Cal's eyes snapped up to look at her and his heart skipped a beat as he saw only love reflected in them. He swallowed hard before he nervously chuckled at her. "Yeah? You want me in the worst possible way, do you?"

"You're impossible…" Gillian smiled as she rolled her eyes and shook her head with mock exasperation. She grew serious again as she lovingly caressed his cheek. "But…I…know I want to be with you. I have to admit, I'm petrified of the outcome, but I do want to be with you."

Cal took her hand and held it tightly as he looked at her worriedly. "I don't want to mess this up either, Gill, and with my track record, there's a good chance I will."

"May I remind you that my track record isn't all that great either."

Cal rolled his eyes at her comparison. "Yeah? How many hearts have you broken? How many men have had their dreams crushed by you?"

"None…" She admitted quietly as she looked down sadly.

"I don't believe that."

Tears came to her eyes as she looked back at him. "I've never been able to keep anyone happy long enough to stay with me. They always find someone or something better to go to."

Cal knew she was talking about Alec's drug habit. "Then they didn't know how good they had it." Gillian smiled weakly as he reached up and whisked away the tears that had fallen. He leaned forward and offered her a light kiss then backed away. "You deserve better than me, Gillian."

"I don't think there is any one better than you."

"At's not true and we both know it."

Gillian squeezed his hand reassuringly as he offered him a slight smile then looked at him curiously and decided to keep the confessions going. "Zoe told me that when she got pregnant you did the right thing and married her."

Cal shrugged indifferently. "Not much of a choice, she was having my baby."

"A lot of men would have chosen a different path."

"Yeah, well, my mum taught me better."

"She said you guys tried to make it work…"

"At's true, we did try…I did love her, Gill, I just wasn't…in love with her."

"She said that after you and I met, you changed. She claims you began to hold all other women up to my standards and that's why you've left a trail of skirts in your wake."

Cal scratched at his face and sighed. "At's probably the truth."

Gillian turned to face him. "Cal, if this is going to work between us, you have to take me off that pedestal. I'm not perfect, I don't deserve to be up there and if you climb up there with me, we're both going to fall off."

Cal's eyes softened as he moved closer. "Did you just say…if this is going to work?"

Gillian rolled her eyes as she sighed. "Yeah, I also said a few other things that were more important after that…did you hear any of them?"

"Yeah, yeah, pedestal and all that…so…if I'm hearing correctly you want to erase that blasted line and try and make a go at this…"

Gillian licked her lips then smiled coyly. "I think it was only a matter of time…that line has been trampled on a lot lately."

Cal felt his heart start to hammer in his chest as he cupped her cheek in his hand and looked in her eyes then leaned in and kissed her.

Gillian shyly kissed him back and as Cal deepened the kiss, they both felt the shift in their relationship.

Seconds later, they came up gasping for breath as their emotions swept them away.

Cal leaned back and looked at her. "There's no going back from that one."

"No," Gillian said as she stood up and reached her hand out to his.

Cal knew she meant to lead them to the bedroom. He stood and leaned in for a quick kiss then shook his head regrettably. "I hate to break the mood but I wasn't prepared for this, I should run to the pharmacy."

Knowing he meant he needed condoms, Gillian grabbed for the front of his shirt and kissed him. "Do you always wear one?"

Assuming she was worried about the number of past partners he had, he nodded. "Never been without one, kind of learned my lesson with Emily."

"Well, we don't need to worry about anything like that happening so…" Gillian's eyes showed a trace of sadness again as she looked at him.

Cal realized she was admitting she was unable to have children and he wanted to erase the sadness from her eyes. "…So the only worries we have are the amount of partners you've had in the past," he grinned as he kissed her cheek.

"You're impossible," she said as she swatted playfully at his teasing before she grew serious. "Alec and I didn't…well…it's been a long time and because of his drug use I got myself tested…and David…came prepared," she blushed.

Knowing they were safe on all levels, Cal reached for her hand. "Gill, it's your call. I'll run out right now if you say to but…I want you to know…this is it for me, Luv…there won't ever be anyone but you."

His guard was down and she had the power to crush him with her words but she shrugged her shoulders instead as she leaned into him. "I feel the same way, Cal and I don't want to waste another minute."

He swiftly pulled her against him and kissed her deeply.

Gillian trembled at the intensity and started to walk backwards towards the bedroom.

The back of her legs finally bumped into the side of the mattress and she sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.

"Not yet, Luv," Cal instructed as he pulled her to her feet.

She stood as he kissed her then reached down with his hands to grab the edges of her shirt. The only time his lips left hers was the brief second he pulled her shirt over her head. He drew her close again as his hands caressed her back lovingly. He reached to find the clasp on her bra, not finding it in the middle of her back, he leaned away and looked to the front.

"Bloody hell!" he said as he gasped at the curves of her breasts outlined in red lace.

He kissed her quickly then looked into her eyes as he undid the clasp. Her eyes flickered fear as he slid the bra straps off over her shoulders. He blinked with confusion as he put his arms around her and held her close. When he felt her relax against him, he leaned back to look at her then stopped and lightly squeezed her arms.

"Gill, if you've changed you mind, Luv, we can stop right now…"

She panicked and grabbed at his shirt before he could back away. "No! I don't want that!"

"Why are you afraid?!"

As she looked at him, she blinked back the tears that sprang to her eyes but not before a few escaped and made their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to disappoint you!"

"What?" Cal frowned as he tried to read her expressions.

"Alec told me once that…"

Cal knew she was going to say that Alec told her she was a disappointment in bed and that's why he strayed. He damned Alec for letting Gillian believe it was her fault their relationship failed. "At's nonsense that is…" he said before he kissed her.

Gillian gasped as he slowly brought his hands to her breasts. Her hands grabbed his shoulders and held on as he kissed his way down to suckle on the hardened tips.

Feeling his shirt bunching up under her hands, she began to pull it off. Cal leaned away and whipped it off in one motion. Gillian's hands roamed freely over his back as he returned to loving her.

Gillian began to pant heavily and Cal slowly lowered his hands down to remove her pants.

Gillian stepped out of them and Cal glanced at the red lace thong that had clearly matched the bra that lay discarded on the floor. He groaned as he kissed her and grabbed her hips and pulled her against his hardened flesh.

Gillian reached for his buckle and tried to undo it but couldn't. "Cal?!"

Cal heard the frustration in her voice and leaned back and smiled as he quickly undid it and slipped off his pants and underwear in one smooth motion.

Gillian hands roamed freely and she took his length in her hands.

Cal gasped when she started to gently stroke him and he jumped back quickly. "Better not do that or I'll be the one to disappoint."

Gillian used his own words against him. "And you've never heard a complaint…never left anyone unsatisfied…"

"You're the only one I'm worried about satisfying, Luv."

"That makes two of us…" Gillian muttered as she chewed nervously at her bottom lip.

Cal read her again and caught the nervousness she was trying hard to hide as he drew her into a tight embrace. "Darling, do you trust me?"

"What?" Gillian blinked in confusion as she leaned back and looked into his eyes. "Yes."

"I mean deep down inside, really trust me?"

"Of course I do."

Confident in his abilities, Cal smiled and kissed her. "Then let me take the lead."

Gillian nodded as Cal's hands slid down and removed her thong. He gently pressed against her as he had her lie down on the bed. He rose above her and Gillian spread her legs but her brows furrowed in confusion when he moved off to her side. She could feel his erection pressed into her leg and wondered why he stopped.

As he kissed her, his hand slid down the length of her body and gently probed her moist heat. He deepened his kiss and smiled when he felt the wetness as he slowly inserted a finger. Gillian arched under him and groaned as he entered her with a second finger.

Cal slowly kissed his way down her body but this time when he didn't stop at her breasts, Gillian grew nervous.

"Cal? I…"

Cal's response was to move his fingers around inside of her. His mouth quickly covered her mound and his tongue delved in as she gasped his name.

"Cal!"

He slipped his hands under her then loved her with his mouth.

Within minutes, she crashed over the edge and grabbed for him. "Caaaaaal!"

He slid up to her side to hold her while she trembled as she came down from her high.

She caressed his face as she looked at him lovingly. "I've nev…"

"I know, Luv…" Cal knew she'd never experienced it that way before as he leaned in and kissed her. Gillian responded instantly and deepened the kiss.

Cal rose over her as she shifted to accommodate him and he slowly entered her.

He gasped when he was fully sheathed inside of her and surrounded by her tight warmth. "Bloody hell, Gill!"

He stopped so she could get used to his size and she smiled as she looked at him. "I'm okay…"

"Okay? You feel fantastic, Luv!"

She gasped as he kissed her and slowly began to move.

Cal felt her body respond to his and he hoped he could hold out long enough to have her go with him.

He stopped kissing her and leaned back as he whispered to her. "Look at me, Gillian."

Her eyes slowly opened and he saw total trust within him. Gillian wavered as she saw a look in his eyes filled with an intense need.

She guessed correctly that he was unsure of his worth. "I love you, Cal."

He saw the truth on her face and fell against her as he drove inside of her.

"I love you too, Darling!" he gasped.

Gillian wrapped her legs around him and squeezed her muscles as she synched her movements with his. Her eyes slowly closed as she gave into the sensation and felt herself moving towards the edge again.

"Cal!" she gasped in surprise. "Oh, God, Cal!"

He smiled inwardly as he held her tighter and thanked that same God for helping him out. He felt her muscles contract around him as she cried out her release. Seconds later, he followed her over the edge then collapsed on top of her.

He tried to catch his breath and he made to move off of her but she squeezed her legs and held him inside of her until he finally slipped out.

Her legs released and he slid to her side then pulled her against him as they both gasped for breath.

He felt wetness on his chest. Panicking that she had regretted what they'd done, he leaned back to look at her face.

"Are you all right, Gill?"

Gillian smiled weakly at the concern in his voice and rushed to reassure him. "That was…I mean…I've never…?" she blushed and buried her face against his chest.

Relief flooded through him as he held her tightly and chuckled. "I know, Luv, it was bloody fantastic."

"Was it?" she asked nervously.

He cupped her face and looked at her lovingly. "Yes!"

"You're not lying to me are you?"

"I might bend the truth once in awhile, Darling, but I'll never lie to you."

Relief showed on her face as she kissed him. "I was so afraid I wouldn't measure up to your past…Zoe said…"

"Gillian…" Cal interrupted her with a trace of anger in his voice then forcefully pushed against her and kissed her deeply. "I never loved Zoe the way I love you…what we have is entirely different."

She lowered her face remorsefully. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought it up. My insecurities…"

"…have just been proven to be unfounded. I'm guessing that your problem had less to do with you than the abilities of the men you were shagging."

Gillian looked up and saw his devilish grin and she wanted to wipe the smugness from his face. Her hand slid between them and gently cupped his manhood.

He raised his eyebrows with surprise. "Darling, I don't recover as quickly as I used to…" he admitted as he gently tried to pull her towards him.

Gillian had thoughts of her own and pushed against him so he was on his back.

She leaned over him and kissed him then slowly mimicked his earlier movements and made her way down his body.

"Gill?!" he asked, wanting to give her the chance to stop but then moaned in pleasure when she covered his manhood with her warm mouth.

He could tell she was inexperienced but because it was her loving him, his body responded immediately. "Fuck!" he cried out at the pleasure she was bringing him as he grabbed the sheets in his fists.

Minutes later, he warned her. "Gillian, best stop that, Luv!"

Gillian smiled shyly then climbed on top of him. His eyes showed surprise which quickly turned into delight as she guided him into her. She gasped with pleasure as she slid down his length and took him all in.

Cal let her take the lead but again her fumbling attempts showed through and he helped her along the way. It wasn't long before she figured out the rhythm and guided them over the edge.

She collapsed on top of him and he held her tightly as she cried.

"Darling, are you going to cry every time we make love?" Cal wondered.

Gillian blinked back her tears and looked at him as she smiled shyly. "Will it always be this good?"

Cal looked at her smugly. "No, it should get better once we learn a little more about each other."

"Do you really think that's possible?"

Cal kissed her deeply. "Well, it doesn't hurt to keep trying…"

Gillian giggled as she kissed him back.

"Cal…" she asked as he nibbled on her neck.

"Hmmm…?"

"I never got my tiramisu."

Cal stopped and looked at her lovingly. "At's right, you were in such a hurry to get me in your bed, we skipped dessert."

"I'm going to go and get it…" Gillian said as she flipped back the covers.

"Stay put, Luv, I'll grab it for you."

He slipped out of the bed and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed the whole dessert and a fork then made his way back to the bedroom.

Gillian had propped herself up into a sitting position and covered herself up with the sheets. She opened her eyes wide when she saw that he had brought the whole thing. "I sure hope you plan on helping me with this."

Cal smiled as he dug the fork into the middle of the dessert. The spoon was heaping when he brought it to her lips.

Gillian opened her mouth but as expected some of it fell from the fork and landed on her chest.

Cal looked down and grinned wickedly as he saw that it had fallen in the visible part of her cleavage. He pulled the sheet lower as he leaned forward and licked it off.

"Mmmmm…" Gillian's eyes glazed over.

He leaned up and kissed her. "That stuff is excellent."

"Told you."

"I think I could learn to like desserts if I can eat them off of you."

Gillian blushed as she innocently turned her fork to its side. She had a feigned look of surprise on her face when more landed on her chest. "Oops."

"Clumsy, are we?" Cal grinned as he reached forward and smeared the dessert over her hardened nipple.

Gillian's eyes closed and her head fell back as his mouth replaced his fingers. "Cal?"

Cal licked and suckled the dessert off of her. "I can't seem to get enough."

"Of the dessert?" Gillian frowned.

"Of you, Luv." Cal grinned.

Years of denial and then their final admission of love had forced them into a frantic pace. That lust seemed to be satisfied and this time Cal was able to go slower and draw out their lovemaking.

Once again, they collapsed into a heap on the bed but this time they fell asleep in each others arms.

The End