Why Me?

Naoto had been tracking the killer for months. He was as clever as he was deadly, leaving almost no evidence behind, just a series of dismembered corpses. What little evidence there was led to a run-down house on the outskirts of the city. Now Naoto was ready to end his spree. She arrived at the house just after dark and silently made her way through the rain to the back door. She intended to pick the lock, but at a light touch the mechanism disintegrated, rusted bits of metal falling away as the door slowly swung open.

It was dark inside. Naoto located a light switch but it was useless, there was either no power of the bulb was dead. She was prepared for the eventuality and slid a small flashlight out of her pocket. With a reassuring click it produced a bright beam of light. The house was dusty and filled with cobwebs as if no one had been inside for years. Perhaps this was not the place after all. Naoto was not ready to give up just yet. She made her way toward the front. Just inside the door the floor was wet. Could the killer be here now?

The door to an adjacent room slid open, revealing a familiar figure. "Yu, what are you doing here?" Naoto asked. He stared back at her in silence. He was holding his sword. Now Naoto understood. Naoto reached for her gun as Yu lunged at her. He was too fast, stabbing his sword straight through her abdomen. He calmly grabbed the gun, now held limply at her side, and tossed it away. "I…I…thought you loved me." Naoto stammered in shock.

Yu withdrew his blade and Naoto collapsed to her knees, clutching impotently at the wound. "Me, love you?" Yu laughed. "How could anyone ever love you?" He circled around her. "I just needed to get close to you, to learn your weaknesses, to lead you here. Manipulating you was much easier than I anticipated." He stopped at her side and raised his sword over his head. "Well, goodbye detective." Yu brought the blade crashing down on the back of Naoto's neck.

Naoto awoke to a bloodcurdling scream. It took her a moment to realize she was the one screaming. Drenched in sweat and hyperventilating, she anxiously looked around. She was in her own bed in her own room in her grandfather's estate. She was startled by a sudden knock at the door, accompanied by frantic shouting. The door burst open and her grandfather charged into the room, gun at the ready. His eyes darted around, searching every corner. "Naoto, what is wrong?" He asked, his voice strained. "Is there an intruder?"

"Oh no, it's nothing." Naoto replied, embarrassed.

"I heard you scream." Her grandfather said.

"It was just a nightmare." Naoto explained. "I'm sorry I have worried you."

Her grandfather breathed a sigh of relief and put away his weapon. "Please come see me before you leave for the city." He said. "I would like to speak with you." With that he left, closing the door behind him.

Naoto took a few minutes to compose herself. She then showered, dressed, and packed for her trip. She had been called to testify about a case she had helped to investigate a few months previous. The trip would also give her the opportunity to spend some time with friends. Once she was ready, she went to see her grandfather. He was in his study looking through some files, no doubt working on a case. "You wanted to speak to me." She said to get his attention.

"Yes." He said, looking up from the papers. "You said you had a nightmare. Might I ask what it was about?"

"It was just a dream." Naoto said. "It's fantasy. I don't see how the content is relevant." In truth she did not want to reveal she had dreamt of her boyfriend killing her in cold blood.

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine." Her grandfather said, easily identifying her discomfort. "And it may be fantasy but that does not mean it's meaningless. Sometimes dreams can be a window into ourselves. They can represent our wishes, but also our fears and insecurities." He paused. "I don't want to see you sad. I don't want to see you in pain. If there's something bothering you please allow me to help. I understand if you're not ready to talk about it now, but when the time comes, I'll be here for you."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine, really." Naoto said. She was unsure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

The train ride to the city was a short one, but still left Naoto alone with her thoughts for an uncomfortably long time. Something was bothering her and it did relate to her dream. She had been dating Yu for months. She loved him and presumed that he loved her, but she could not understand why. Why, when he could get any girl he wanted, did Yu choose her? She was not the best looking, her sense of humor was basically non-existent and she could not imagine she was fun to be around. They struggled to even find time to spend together. Between investigations and school she was hard-pressed to find a free moment and Yu's schedule was almost as busy. An hour's journey separated their homes. Everything seemed to be against the pairing. It just did not make sense.

Naoto awoke the next day to a surprise phone call. The trial she had come to attend would no longer take place. The defendant had plead out and she was no longer needed. She was booked for a week-long stay in the city and with no trial to worry about, she could spend more time seeing friends, Yu in particular. She would not have the chance to see Yu for another day however. It would not be a wasted day as she had made plans with Rise who had a rare day off. Naoto immediately called Rise to move up their plans by a few hours and the pair met for lunch.

"So, what should we do now?" Rise asked after the pair had finished with their lunch.

"Actually I'd like to go shopping for clothes if you don't mind." Naoto replied. "I'd like your advice."

"I wasn't expecting that." Rise said. "This should be fun." The pair made their way to a store Rise suggested.

"I have no idea where to start." Naoto said as she looked at the expansive of clothing racks.

"Well, what's the occasion?" Rise asked.

"I'm going on a date with…never mind who it's with." Naoto said. "I want something that isn't as masculine as what I normally wear."

"So you're going on a date with Senpai and you want something girly, no problem." Rise said.

"I didn't…how did you know who?" Naoto asked.

"He told me you two were seeing each other." Rise said. "Besides, you've been dating for months. Did you really think we wouldn't notice?"

"Sorry, I know how you feel about him and I was just worried you might be…" Naoto started.

"Jealous?" Rise finished for her. "No, it's fine. I told him he shouldn't date me. Not yet at least. With my crazy schedule we'd almost never see each other. Add to that the paparazzi and the tabloids, I just wouldn't want to put him through it."

"So I wasn't his first choice…" Naoto frowned.

"No, no, no, it's not like that!" Rise reassured her. "My advice was unsolicited. It's not like he asked me out, I said no, and then he went to you. If you ask me, I think you were always his favorite."

"You have no idea how comforting it is to hear you say that." Naoto said with a sigh of relief. "I still can't for the life of me figure out why."

"I can't really speak for Senpai on that." Rise said. "Does it really matter though? There doesn't have to be a reason. Love doesn't have to be rational. He loves you. That's what matters, right?"

"I guess so." Naoto said. She was not convinced. She lived a life of reason and science, concrete evidence and concrete truth. It was hard to just throw all that away, even for a moment.

"Alright, now that that's settled, let's get back to shopping." Rise said. "How fancy should this be?"

"Well, we're going to a nice restaurant." Naoto said. "I suppose something more formal would be appropriate."

"Then we'll look at some dresses." Rise said. She grabbed Naoto by the arm and pulled her across the store.

"Dresses, does that mean a skirt?" Naoto asked with trepidation.

"You said you wanted something girly." Rise said as she continued leading Naoto along. "I know you like skirts, but there aren't too many other options. It doesn't have to be a short skirt though."

"I guess that would be alright." Naoto sighed. It did not really matter to her how long the skirt was, assuming it was not too short. Even a floor-length skirt just did not feel right to her.

"Did you have a color in mind?" Rise asked.

"I've always been partial to blue." Naoto replied. Almost all of her clothing was blue or white. It was as if she had a subconscious attachment to the color.

"How about this one?" Rise grabbed a dress and held it up. There was a cutout to show off cleavage, the back was mostly non-existent and there was a slit that ran the length of the legs.

"I think that's a little too risqué for me." Naoto said as her face turned red. "Maybe something simpler would be better."

"Aw, I thought it would be good for showing off your…assets." Rise said. She poked Naoto's chest for emphasis.

Naoto recoiled and pushed Rise away. "What's gotten into you?!" She shouted.

"Calm down, I'm just teasing." Rise laughed. Naoto was not amused. "Well what about this one?" Rise asked as she held up another dress. It was much more modest, dark blue and sleeveless with a rather narrow floor-length skirt.

"That might actually work." Naoto said as she looked it over.

"Try it on." Rise said as she handed it over. "I bet it'll look great on you."

"Oh, alright." Naoto said. She looked at the price tag. It was mildly terrifying but well within her budget and expectations.

"I'll meet you by the fitting rooms." Rise said, heading off to another part of the store. "I just need to grab a few things."

Naoto headed for the fitting rooms and stood outside waiting for Rise. She did not have long to wait. Rise walked up carrying some undergarments. "What are those for?" Naoto asked, already uncomfortable just seeing what Rise had picked out.

"Well if you want to look good in that dress you can't just wear that magic bra of yours." Rise laughed.

"I know but…" Naoto started. She looked at the bra Rise was holding. "Why is it so lacey?" She looked in mild horror at the panties Rise had. "Why are they so…nonexistent?"

"You and Senpai have had sex right?" Rise asked.

"I'm not comfortable discussing that." Naoto gasped, her composure totally gone and her voice abnormally high.

"So you have." Rise concluded. "He's pretty great right?" She said with a wink that Naoto could not quite figure out. "So there's a chance there'll be a repeat performance. You said you wanted to wear something special for him, why not some special underwear too?"

"If it gets to the point where he can see my underwear, I doubt it would matter." Naoto said, still unnerved by the conversation.

"Just put it all on." Rise ordered, shoving the clothes into Naoto's hands.

Naoto turned to enter the fitting room but quickly turned back. "What if it's not my size?" She asked.

"I've seen you naked, remember?" Rise said with another wink. "I know your size."

Naoto wanted to scream from embarrassment but just spun around and rushed into the fitting room. Just looking at the underwear made Naoto uncomfortable and putting it on only made the feeling worse. Rise was right though, it did fit. The dress might have been a bit tight but wearing it was not as embarrassing as she had anticipated. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the fitting room. "How does it look?" She asked nervously.

Rise walked up to Naoto, getting too close for Naoto's comfort, and closely examined the fit. Rise then stepped back and circled around, taking in the view from all angles. Naoto was already regretting her decision to go shopping with Rise and now she just wanted to be somewhere else. Being the center of attention, even with one other person, was awkward enough for her but being examined so thoroughly was beyond unnerving.

"It looks great on you!" Rise squealed. "It's a little tight around the chest – I thought it would be – but otherwise it's perfect. Now we just have to get it tailored and you'll be ready for your date."

"I don't think there's time." Naoto said. "It's tomorrow night."

Rise rubbed her chin in thought. "It'll do then." She said. "You should get it adjusted before you wear it again though."

Naoto went back into the fitting room and changed into her normal clothes. It felt much better. She came back out holding the dress and undergarments. "Alright, I'll just pay for these and we're done, right?"

"You really should get some shoes to go with it." Rise said. "Jewelry too. Maybe some accessories."

"Alright." Naoto agreed with a heavy sigh. "As long as it isn't too expensive."

Naoto spent all day walking around her hotel room in the heels Rise had encouraged her to buy. She was used to wearing platforms but these were an entirely different animal. She was determined to get all the awkward, embarrassing tripping out of the way before her date. Yu was supposed to be arriving at 6PM. Naoto was ready at 5, just in case. In addition to the dress and the shoes, Rise had helped Naoto pick out a purse, earrings and a necklace. At Rise's urging Naoto put on lipstick that was a shade of red she never would have chosen herself. Naoto had been concerned about the need for makeup, but Rise assured her that her skin was perfect so it would be unnecessary. Rise seemed to be trying awfully hard to help Naoto, maybe living vicariously through her. At least the hair was easy. In recent months Naoto had alternated between very long and very short hair, and now her hair barely reached the level of her chin so there was not much she could do with it if she wanted to.

At ten minutes to 6 there was a knock at the door. Naoto jumped up and almost fell flat on her face, immediately forgetting about the heels. She regained her balance and her composure and walked to the door. She opened it to reveal Yu who was holding a bouquet of flowers. He was wearing what looked like a suit with no tie, just his style. "You look…wow." He stammered. "You're beautiful." He handed her the flowers.

"Thank you." Naoto said. She placed the flowers on a table just inside the door. "I have to give Rise credit for the dress; she helped me pick it out."

"That's funny." Yu chuckled. "She picked this out too."

"I guess we're on the same page when it comes to fashion advice." Naoto said, struggling desperately to hide her nervousness.

"Yeah." Yu agreed. He held out his arm. "Shall we go?"

Naoto nodded and wrapped her arm around his. Arm in arm they walked outside and Yu lead Naoto to a waiting car. She had been expecting a normal taxi, but it was a fancy car service. "I hope this wasn't too expensive." Naoto said as she got in the car. "I'd hate for you to bankrupt yourself on my account."

Yu sat beside Naoto and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "For you, no price is too high." Yu said with a reassuring smile. Naoto tried to hide her face as she blushed but there was nowhere to go. "How did the trial go?" Yu asked, noticing her embarrassment and changing the subject for her.

"It never even got started." Naoto said. "The defendant took a plea deal at the last moment."

"It's a shame you came all this way just to find out you didn't have to." Yu said.

"It's not all bad." Naoto said. "I got to spend time with you after all."

The car soon arrived at the restaurant. Yu jumped out and rushed around to help Naoto out. By the time he got there Naoto was already halfway out, not anticipating the act of chivalry. He quickly paid the driver and the pair headed into the restaurant, a high-end western-style establishment. Naoto knew about it for two reasons. First, it was well-known as the best restaurant in this part of the city, and second a famous organized crime figure had been assassinated there a few years previous.

Just inside a man in a neat suit stood behind a wooden podium. Yu walked up to him. "Narukami, reservation for two." He said. They were early, but not exceptionally so.

The man took a quick glance at a list on the podium. "Right this way." He said. He led the pair to a small table near the front.

The table was lit by candles, real candles. It was all incredibly romantic. Yu added to it by helping Naoto with her chair before seating himself across from her. "I'm a little afraid to look at the prices." Naoto said. "This place is even fancier than I imagined."

"Like I said in the car, don't worry about the money." Yu said. "Just worry about enjoying yourself."

Naoto could not help but worry about the prices, particularly when she saw them. It would be terrifyingly expensive even if she got one of the less expensive entrees. She eventually settled on something on the lower end of the price range while Yu's meal was closer to the middle. They made what could only be described as awkward small talk as they ate.

"So, dessert?" Yu asked after their meals were finished.

"I couldn't." Naoto said, implying she was full. In truth she could not stand to spend more than the exorbitant sum the pair already owed.

"Alright." Yu shrugged. Yu got the bill and paid with a credit card. Naoto insisted she help out but Yu categorically refused. It was his treat.

"Where should we go next?" Naoto asked.

"Before we go anywhere, there's one more thing." Yu said. He was sweating and displayed a barely-hidden nervousness. He began to fumble around for something, his nerves more evident with every passing moment. Naoto had never seen him lose his composure like this. It made her anxious. Finally he produced a small black box. A lump grew in Naoto's throat and it felt as if her stomach dropped out. Yu dropped to a knee beside the table and opened the box to reveal a diamond ring. "Naoto, will you marry me?"

Naoto was stunned. The proposal completely blindsided her. She had felt something about the date was off, the flowers, the fancy car, the exclusive restaurant, but she put it up to the natural progression of their relationship. "I…I…" Naoto stammered, unable to find the words.

"Oh, this is so romantic!" Rise squealed from behind Naoto.

Naoto turned around and was horrified to see a crowd had gathered. The rest of the Investigation Team, the Dojimas, even her grandfather was there. They looked on expectantly, all smiles and barely contained enthusiasm. "I…I…" Naoto stammered. Yu smiled at her, holding up the ring from his position on one knee. "I can't. I can't do that to you." Naoto finally said. Tears streaming down her face, she jumped up, knocking over her chair, and fled the restaurant as fast as she could, taking into account her footwear.

Yu remained kneeling there as the smiling faces turned to shock and horror. Nanako started crying. The other girls followed. The guys seemed unable to find the words. Even Dojima was speechless. After a moment Yu sighed heavily and put the ring back in his pocket. He sat back down in his chair and buried his head in his hands. "This is all my fault." Yu said. "I pushed too hard, too fast. She must feel so humiliated."

After a painful silence, Naoto's grandfather sat at the table with Yu. "It's not your fault." He said. Yu shook his head, refusing to believe that. "That wasn't a rejection of you."

"What are you talking about?" Yu asked. He appeared to be on the edge of tears but somehow held them back.

"I raised her." Naoto's grandfather said. "Even if I didn't do the best job of it, I know her better than anyone. That wasn't a rejection of you, she was rejecting herself."

"What do you mean?" Yu asked.

"I believe I have a pretty good idea of what she's thinking." Naoto's grandfather continued. "She's thinking 'why would he choose me? There are prettier girls, girls that aren't as weird. He's making a terrible mistake. He's going to throw his life away for me.'" He stood and put a hand on Yu's shoulder. "You should go after her."

"I think I'm the last person she wants to see right now." Yu sighed.

"That may be the case, but you're the person she needs to see." Naoto's grandfather countered. "She'll probably head back to her hotel room to pack up and go home as soon as possible."

"She probably won't even let me in." Yu said.

"That won't be an issue." Dojima cut in. "I bet there's a key in here." He handed Yu Naoto's purse. In her haste she had left it on the table. "Now go."

Naoto walked back to her hotel. She was about to hail a cab when she realized she had left her purse behind. There was no way she could go back. She would just have to walk. It was not unreasonably far but in heels it was excruciating. She felt the pain was deserved. Somehow she had fooled Yu into loving her, in spite of all the reasons he should choose someone else, and now he was willing to throw away his happiness to be with her. Then she broke his heart. She loved him and she broke his heart. It may have been for his own good, but that did not make it feel any better.

Naoto arrived at her hotel after a long, painful trek. She sheepishly approached the desk and asked to be let into her room. Aside from the embarrassment of having forgotten her key, she knew she must look like a wreck. She was forced to draw attention to herself at the very moment she wished no one could see her. The woman at the desk gave Naoto a keycard and she rushed to the elevator, hoping to end her humiliation as soon as possible. Her footwear betrayed her again and she tripped, slamming into the wall beside the elevator. By now crying again, she boarded the elevator and headed up.

Naoto slipped the keycard into her door and was relieved to hear it click open. It was finally over. She could be alone. No one had to see her now. She swung the door open, slid inside and closed it behind her. She turned and saw that Yu's flowers were no longer on the table. In a near panic she looked up to see Yu sitting on the bed, holding the flowers.

"Sorry if I scared you." Yu said. He held up her purse. "You forgot this." Naoto did not want to face him now. She turned to leave. "Please, wait." Yu called after her.

Naoto sighed, spun around and pressed her back against the door. "What do you want?" She asked. "I'm sure you know I'd like to be alone now." She had managed to stop crying between the elevator and her room and was struggling to keep it that way.

"I know you want to be alone, but right now you shouldn't be alone." Yu said. "Besides, I wanted to apologize." He hung his head and dropped the flowers onto the floor. "I'm sorry I put you in that situation. You must be so embarrassed. I just wanted our friends to share the moment. I really screwed up."

"I should be the one apologizing." Naoto said. "I hurt you. All I do is hurt you."

"That's not true." Yu countered. "There's no one who makes me happier."

"You're just saying that." Naoto sighed. "All I do is hold you back. You should be out there dating someone better looking and more fun. I just can't fathom why you'd settle for me."

"But being with you is fun." Yu assured her. "And as far as I'm concerned there isn't a more beautiful girl in the world."

"Oh come on!" Naoto protested. "Beauty is subjective but even I can tell you that's objectively false."

"Naoto, what's this about?" Yu asked. "Why are you being so down on yourself?"

It was clear to Naoto that Yu was not going to drop the issue. Either she could keep avoiding him for the rest of her life, or she could talk it over. She walked over and sat on the bed beside him. "You know how I feel about mysteries." Naoto said. "I can't rest until I have all the answers. The one mystery I can't solve is why you would ever love me. I look alright but there are better looking girls, even right in our immediate circle of friends, and I know they're just as interested in you as I am."

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" Yu asked. He sounded offended.

"No, that's not what I mean." Naoto replied. "I'm not done. Spending time with me isn't fun. I'd rather solve a crossword puzzle than go out. I'm only comfortable conversing about scientific or specialized topics. I'm painfully awkward. It gets worse. With my chosen profession, we can hardly spend any time together. You know all this. Why would you want to spend your life with me?"

"If you're going to be scientific about this, I will be too." Yu said. "First, I've already said I think you're beautiful, but looks hardly matter. Second, I know being with you isn't going to be all wild parties and craziness, but I'm not about that. You talk about being a bit of a nerd like it's a bad thing. You've seen my grades, so surely you know where I stand. I don't mind the awkwardness and believe me when I tell you; the others aren't nearly as smooth as you seem to think either. Finally, you talk about your job like you'll be doing it alone."

"What does that mean?" Naoto asked.

"I guess I didn't tell you." Yu said as he rubbed the back of his head, looking a little embarrassed. "I'm studying criminal justice. I want to be a detective…with you. It must be hard to do that kind of work alone. It must be lonely. We've already solved some mysteries together, and I thought we could make a career out of it."

"I'm touched, but I still don't understand." Naoto said. "It still seems like you're bending over backwards to accommodate our relationship. There are still so many reasons you should choose someone else."

"I think I see the problem." Yu said. He put his arm around Naoto's shoulders and pulled her close. "You're thinking about this rationally. You're thinking about it like another case. Well, love isn't rational. I love you, awkwardness, quirks and all. You wouldn't be you; you wouldn't be the girl I love, without them. Nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you at my side, whether it makes sense or not."

Naoto had no answer. Now she felt like an idiot. She had been overthinking it the whole time. Naoto was so focused on the negatives she the most important part, their feelings. She loved Yu and Yu loved her. That was all that really mattered. She could not help but cry at the realization that all her worries were unjustified. "I'm so sorry." She sobbed.

"There's no need to be sorry." Yu said, wiping the tears from her cheek. "You were just being you. I wouldn't have it any other way." She turned and managed to smile at him. "Well, let's try this again." He reached into his pocket and retrieved the ring.

"We're so young." Naoto said. "We're just 18 and 19. Isn't it a little…"

"We're young, yes, but I know that if I spent the rest of my life searching, I wouldn't find anyone I love as much as you." Yu said. "Besides, it's not like the wedding's tomorrow. I can wait as long as you want. When you're ready, I will be too." He dropped down and took a knee on the floor. "So, will you marry me?"

Naoto took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. "Nothing would make me happier."

THE END