SOY: this fanfic is published on AO3 as well; it has a 'chapter cover' there which I did, too so if you'd like to see it, you can find the fic under the same name in the XXXHolic section of AO3.

I'm sorry I forgot to publish this like two days ago…

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Rating: T

Warnings: third of a series of connected stories under the name 'Takane no Hana'. Fix-it fic for XXXHolic, takes place at the start of volume 15 of the manga. Will branch out of canon and move on from there.

Disclaimer: I do not own CLAMP manga.

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Reflection that Binds

Chapter 01 – Threat

The dream world, Watanuki was slowly realising, was a weird place.

It looked exactly like the real world, but there was something to it that was inconsistent, like the feeling of sand falling through fingers, though when one was inside a dream it was not noticeable.

At first, Watanuki had found it difficult to distinguish between wake and sleep, if only because both worlds were so blurred and identical to him that being in one or the other made absolutely no difference.

The first time he'd seen Doumeki's grandfather, and even the second time, he'd mistaken him for Doumeki, so used to having Doumeki at his side that the sight of someone who had his same face hadn't registered as 'another person' at all until he'd seen Haruka smile.

After that, Watanuki had tried to find something that would help him realise whenever he was dreaming, from the clothes he wore to the different feeling of the air around him –but all these details were not things he noticed right away, and he would only start picking up on them if he already knew he was sleeping.

Even now that he was growing more apt with recognising whenever he was truly dreaming, the only times he could distinguish between reality and dream right away were those where Haruka was there, since his presence was an unexplainable dissonance.

Due to the fact that he kept falling asleep during the day without noticing, and the frequency was growing at an alarming pace recently, Watanuki was slowly starting to notice earlier and earlier when things did not line up correctly. Most of the time, Haruka appeared afterwards, especially when Watanuki felt in need to talk –just like he had done recently in relation to Doumeki's dietary habits– while other times the sudden knowledge pushed Watanuki right out and he awoke or fell into normal dreams afterwards.

Which proved to be a problem, because Watanuki had plans to learn how to move through dreams, and this inconsistency made it difficult.

Touya had promised to help, but to admit to someone else that he was not sure whether he was sleeping or not was a private, delicate and embarrassing thing, and the thought of having to say that to someone, even if it was Touya –a person who Watanuki had grown to trust and respect in the little time he'd known the man– was too much for him. Besides, it would make Touya ask too much, and there were things Watanuki himself did not know, so how could he offer Touya an explanation when he himself did not have one?

He hadn't even said anything to Doumeki, who apparently had somehow become Watanuki's confident without him noticing, because he knew it would make him worry, or try to help, and… Watanuki was slowly realising that there were things that he had to do without anyone's help.

Watanuki had thought about it for a long while after learning that Touya and Yukito knew how to walk through dreams, and he had come to a conclusion –if he was fighting so hard to cling to the reality where he was with Doumeki, Himawari and Yuuko, he needed to be able to see where the dream ended and that 'reality' started. Learning how to move through dreams would help him with that, too.

Still, Touya had also said that he would not be able to find Yuuko's shop again now, not in reality nor in a dream because his wish had been granted and he had no need to see it ever again, which meant that either Watanuki had to spend the night over at Touya's house, or he had to meet with Touya directly inside a dream.

Sleeping at someone else's house was not something that Watanuki had done often –in fact, he only remembered doing so at Yuuko's house, which was slowly becoming more like his second house than just a 'store'– and while he trusted Touya and Yukito, he did not want to impose his presence there longer than he had to, and that unfortunately meant he only had one other choice –to find some common ground place where Touya could go in a dream that Watanuki could also find on his own.

Unfortunately for Watanuki, he had no idea where to start with finding that place.

This thought accompanied Watanuki to bed and was still nagging him the moment he fell asleep, cuddled up together with Mokona and Mugetsu –as it was becoming a constant as of late, and neither would leave him alone when it was time to sleep.

Because of this, when Watanuki found himself sitting on the patio of Yuuko's store, the grass lazily bending because of an invisible breeze and the air pleasantly cool, he realised instantly he was in a dream.

The familiar sight of the store building around him, the smell of sandalwood in the air, the fact that he could see clearly in the dream, even though he had lost his glasses a long while before… Watanuki felt at peace, and with this knowledge he found himself secure that he would not fall out of the dream world this time.

The garden of Yuuko's dream shop was just the same as the one outside the dream, Watanuki decided as he walked through it, looking over at the familiar shape of the kekkai fence surrounding it from one side to the other.

Even the shop itself was identical, but Watanuki had the feeling that something was different here, even though he had no idea what. The air, maybe. It was fizzing, full of something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Looking up, the sky was dark and he could see no stars there, but there was a full moon, big and glowing, right above his head. He wondered if he would ever see the sun in a dream, or if that was the reflection of his own thoughts that dreams only belonged to the night.

Either way it was more fitting to see Yuuko's shop like this –quiet, silent, surrounded by darkness; there was nobody around except him, too, and Watanuki found himself wondering if Maru and Moro ever dreamed while they slept.

Yuuko didn't want to tell him why, but Watanuki had noticed that they were never around, and he was starting to worry, even though he had no idea why, whether something had happened to them that she did not want him to know.

At first he had thought them to be annoying, but they were a constant presence in his life and he missed them and their bubbly attitude, and he thought he'd seen Mokona glance around sometimes, as if he too was missing them.

He sat down again on the edge of the patio, looking out into the darkness, and was surprised to see two butterflies float lazily within the perimeter of the shop. They were big –bigger than butterflies had the right to be, really– and one was black with dashes of white on its wings while the other was the opposite, white with some black streaks.

As if attracted by him, the two butterflies floated his way, twirling and curling around each other playfully, and Watanuki watched them approach him without moving; whenever he saw butterflies nowadays he was strongly reminded of Yuuko, and those two were no exception, but… there was something really familiar about them though, some sort of feeling that reminded him of something or someone else, but he couldn't focus, the knowledge slipping past him as the butterflies twirled around him, as if happy to see him.

He raised one hand towards the butterflies, palm up and fingers spread open, and one of the butterflies landed on it, so light and delicate that Watanuki's eyes widened at the touch, because he felt as if he could remember why they were so familiar, why…

"Are you waiting for me?"

Startled out of his thoughts, Watanuki turned around, smiling sheepishly as he noticed Haruka standing a little away from where he was sitting.

"Ah… actually, yes, yes I was," he admitted, a bit flustered.

When he turned around again, he realised that the butterflies had disappeared, his hand feeling somewhat cold now. He closed it into a fist, the familiarity vanishing into nothingness now that the butterflies were gone.

"Well, did you perhaps want to admire the moon with me?" Haruka sat down, his voice teasing, and Watanuki smiled at him.

"Not quite, no, but it is a beautiful moon," he said, looking up again. "Is there a full moon all the time in dreams?"

Haruka shook his head. "Even that full moon simply means something. Did you know that during full moons there used to be rituals of purification in ancient times?" Haruka stretched his legs in front of him and brought a cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag. The smoke curled around him and wafted towards Watanuki, who waved one hand through its coils to dispel it. "People thought that the moon, when full, could make magical powers stronger and more precise, including the ability to read portents into dreams".

Watanuki looked at Haruka, then up at the moon again. "I didn't know that".

Haruka smiled indulgently. "And you want to learn, which is why you asked that person to teach you the way of dream walking".

Shuffling a bit where he was sitting, Watanuki nodded. "Yeah. Touya said he wouldn't mind teaching me what he knows".

"And yet, you've known me for longer than that, and you never thought about asking me?"

A little flustered, Watanuki leaned forwards. "I… I thought that–"

"I was just teasing you!" Haruka puffed out another long trail of smoke, and his tone was teasing, so obvious that Watanuki pulled back, cheeks red. Haruka's smile was no less warm than before. "I am not the right person to teach you that sort of thing, because the way I move through dreams is different, as I am only here in spirit, not in body. I could teach you things, but as you are now, they wouldn't be the things you need to know".

"Ah…"

"You shouldn't waste such a beautiful sight by sitting here feeling disappointed, you know," Haruka continued, obviously noticing how Watanuki still was not appeased. "Just because I cannot teach you what you need to know does not make the bond we share any less important. Do you not enjoy our chats, then?"

"Of course I do!" Watanuki clenched his hands into fists, somewhat grateful that Haruka hadn't been offended at all. "You've been nothing but kind to me since the start, and… well, sometimes I feel like it's easier to understand you than…"

"… than Shizuka, is that so?"

With a nod, Watanuki sighed and looked down at his hands.

"Does it bother you, that you can't understand him?"

"Why is it that most of our conversations lately are about that guy," Watanuki grumbled, refusing to look at Haruka as he pondered over the way his life seemed to work. "Yes, of course it bothers me!"

Haruka chuckled, the cigarette burning brightly in the darkness. "As long as it does, I think things between you two will be fine," and when Watanuki looked sharply at him, eyes wide, he smiled and continued, "you have been thinking a lot about your friendships and your bonds with those around you, and it is a good sign. I'm glad you always trust me with this kind of talk too".

"Haruka-san…" Watanuki smiled, unable to hide his relief to hear him talk like that. "But it's true that I've tried to look at things differently. I don't want to regret anything of this life, since lately I've felt like something big is coming and I'm not yet ready for that," he looked up, staring outside of the shop, unable to see anything past the boundary that surrounded it. It was like there was nothing other than the shop, and instead of making him feel afraid, Watanuki found the thought reassuring. The shop felt like home, and it was safe, and it was where he'd met Yuuko. "I don't want to find myself thinking I should have done more, that I should have tried harder. If this is all I get, I'd like to think I've done the best I could with my own strength".

He got no reply to that, so Watanuki looked to the side, and was surprised to see a strange expression on Haruka's face that he had never seen before –it was almost pained, and a little distressed; a far cry from his usual soft, gentle smile, and it was enough to make Watanuki feel like he'd said something wrong.

"I–"

"You are a good kid, you really are," Haruka leaned forwards, and much to Watanuki's surprise, he pressed one hand on his head.

The touch was soft and firm, and for a moment Watanuki's sight was covered by the edge of Haruka's kimono sleeve, and a distinctive smell of tobacco and incense filled his senses.

"It seems a lot of people have said that to me lately," Watanuki said when Haruka removed his hand. "I didn't mean to say something that hurt you, Haruka-san".

"I know," was the quiet reply. "But sometimes the worry we carry for others is what pains us, and it's not their fault for causing that pain. To care for a person means to accept the fact that in our hearts they are important, enough for us to want them to be happy. If you cared for someone, you would not want to see them in pain".

"But I'm not in pain…?"

Haruka shook his head, then pressed the tip of his index against Watanuki's chest, right where his heart was.

"You chose to cling to your life, then the thought of being unable to continue should make you feel like you're losing time too quickly. It should make you feel regret, but most of all anger because it is unfair that the life you ought to have might be cut too short". Haruka closed his eyes, composing his expression to something resembling calm, and Watanuki watched him, eyes wide. "When I died, it was peaceful. I had lived a long life with no regrets, and though parting ways with someone always results in pain, those I left behind knew I'd been happy. There is no way to make that sort of pain any less than it is, but it was my time and I accepted it for what it was. But you…" Haruka met Watanuki's eyes, and he was still not smiling. "You haven't lived enough to think this way".

Watanuki hesitated, before shaking his head slowly. "For a long while, I…" his words faltered, as he could not find it within himself to bring his thoughts to life. How could one explain that he had just started to learn to value his own life, after so long spent with a deeply rooted certainty that he would, one day, disappear? "… I wasn't sure whether I would keep on existing. I've been told that the body can remember things that the mind has forgotten, and I've started to wonder whether I've known all along that my time was running out. Whether I have been preparing for that as an inevitable future, until I decided to defy that and try to keep on existing, regardless of what was waiting ahead".

He looked at Haruka, his expression lost and determined at the same time, the sort of face one would make when fighting with odds he was not sure to beat, and Haruka closed his eyes, pushing his cigarette into his mouth with a forceful gesture that betrayed his emotions, even when his face did not, and inhaled from it as deeply as he could.

"Forgive me," he told Watanuki after a moment, breathing out another long trail of smoke.

"No, I… I think I understand, just a bit," Watanuki shook his head. "I can't say you shouldn't worry, because I know better now, but… thank you for worrying for me, Haruka-san, but I do not plan on disappearing".

Haruka snorted, his cigarette almost falling from his lips, and his body relaxed again. They remained in silence for a long moment, sharing a small, conspiratorial smile, before Haruka straightened his back once more and stood up, looking down at Watanuki.

"You have been waiting for me for a reason, isn't that so?" he said.

He was once again the calm, smiling person Watanuki had grown to know, but that shared moment where he had seen him falter would be forever burned into his mind. Still, Watanuki nodded, grateful the conversation had moved onto easier subjects.

It was easy to explain the situation with Touya, and how he had yet to find a solution for his problem.

"You did miss an easy answer, but I guess this is why you came to me," Haruka replied with an indulgent grin. "If you don't want to impose on Kinomoto-san, why don't you choose the Sensou-ji temple for your lessons?"

Watanuki's eyes widened in surprise at the suggestion, then his lips twitched into a wide smile. He'd gone there more than once, he recognised the place, and he had been there in a dream already, since the pure aura surrounding it, as Haruka had told him once, meant that place attracted him.

Surely, if he tried to return there, he would be able to do it even without any practice.

"That's it!" Watanuki hurried to stand, looking so full of energy that Haruka chuckled.

"I'm glad I was able to help you, Kimihiro-kun" then his expression turned more serious. "Just make sure to be careful. Walking through dreams sometimes can be dangerous".

"Yeah," Watanuki was still smiling, but he looked calmer still. "Thank you, Haruka-san".

"I admit that I'm a bit envious, Watanuki-kun," Himawari munched on a piece of ginger thoughtfully and Watanuki turned to look at her, surprised at her admission. "Walking through dreams seems like something really nice, you get to meet Doumeki-kun's grandfather and even see things like the Sensou-ji temple when there's no people around… I'd like to be able to take a walk around my dreams too! Isn't that right, Tanpopo?"

Watanuki smiled, somewhat besotted by her cute expression and her words, and while he could understand her fascination –she had always been interested by mysterious things and he knew this wouldn't change– he approached this sort of thing with a lot more suspicion, especially considering Haruka's warning about the possible dangers.

He rather trusted the man and if he said to be wary, then Watanuki would try his best. At least he wasn't going to be alone while dreaming, with Touya who would teach him the ropes and make sure he learned what to do…

It was then that Watanuki realised that Haruka, regardless of his frequent disappearances, had always been around whenever Watanuki was in the dream world, ever since their first meeting when he had saved him from Himawari's prophetic nightmare monster.

His presence had become something he expected whenever he dreamed, but not all of his dreams were trips in the dream world either. If he dreamed normal things, Watanuki did not see Haruka at all, and afterwards while awake he could say without trouble which dream had been 'normal' and which one had been a trip into the dream world.

Haruka's interest in his safety and his warnings were more than just casual concern, and Watanuki had known that Doumeki's grandfather had a soft spot for him somehow –Watanuki did start to consider the man as close as a real grandfather could be, but it was an embarrassing thought, especially when Haruka always appeared to be his same age, and it was better if he never found out, or Watanuki would die of embarrassment– but this further proof of the man's investment in his life made warmth blossom inside his chest.

"What do you think, Doumeki-kun?" Himawari turned towards the third party, who was munching loudly on a piece of sushi. "Wouldn't it be fun if we could walk through dreams together? Does that mean we could control what we do in there, like in a videogame?"

"That's lucid dreaming," Doumeki swallowed his bite and by the looks of it, he had also swallowed something distasteful, because the look he sent Watanuki's way was bitter enough to make him fidget. "I think the dream world is something different".

"Ah… I'm not sure, but the mechanics should be similar," Watanuki glared at Doumeki and automatically opened the thermos with the tea even before Doumeki grabbed his empty cup, filling it the moment it was shoved under his nose. "At least ask for it!" he chastised the other, who as usual ignored his outburst. Watanuki rolled his eyes and turned towards Himawari again, his expression softening a bit. "Touya-san said that the process of travelling through the dream world means what happens there reflects on your sleeping self, so even getting hurt in a dream would mean getting hurt outside," he knew he was fuelling Doumeki's anger, but Watanuki continued despite that. "When you have a lucid dream it's still just a dream, but you are aware you're dreaming and you can exert control over what happens around you, while in the dream world you're able to move through dreams of other people too, or even see what happens outside while not being really there with your body. I did that once with Haruka-san".

Himawari nodded, eyes wide and full of interest, and Doumeki slurped down his cup of tea with the same crease on his forehead as before. Watanuki glared at him again, and Himawari giggled at them.

"Still, if you can get hurt here you have to be careful, right?" Himawari's smile melted in a worried expression, and Watanuki's glare softened again in a genuine grin.

"Of course. I won't be alone, and if something happens that can be dangerous, I promise I will wake up right away".

He watched as Doumeki's shoulders seemed to relax just the smallest fraction, and felt a complex mix of relief and annoyance wash through him at the sight.

It seemed that Doumeki had somehow calmed down about his dislike for Touya, but he still did not like the thought of Watanuki going someplace he could not follow. It was degrading to think that Doumeki had bigger chances to protect him than Watanuki himself had, and that Doumeki knew it, but Watanuki didn't want Doumeki to feel like he had to always be present to be some sort of guard or protector.

If they were… Watanuki swallowed… friends, then it meant Doumeki shouldn't feel obliged to go out of his way just because Watanuki happened to attract a lot of trouble.

Watanuki had changed since the start, when all he had wanted was to keep Doumeki away because of some instinctual dislike. He could admit now that he enjoyed him being there, and he even cared for him, and didn't that thought feel good to admit? Watanuki was growing up, he really was –his self from just earlier that year would throw a fit at the thought of calling Doumeki a friend and even thinking he was ok to have around.

But exactly because of that –because he cared, because they were supposed to be friends, the thought of Doumeki being around him mostly because Watanuki needed some sort of constant bodyguard didn't sit well with him.

Watanuki knew better than to even think that Doumeki was around for this reason only –it wouldn't make sense to subject himself to Watanuki's tirades and grumpy fights just because he felt like he was the only one able to keep him safe. Maybe at first that had been the reason, just like Watanuki had disliked him just because of his purifying powers, but you don't sacrifice half of your sight, and later on a massive amount of blood, just to keep someone you dislike alive and healthy.

So no, Watanuki knew that Doumeki, in his own weird way, considered him a friend too, and trusted him and his food –or at least trusted the Watanuki whom Watanuki himself did not know, locked away without his memories of having existed. Or… Watanuki looked up, at the way Doumeki methodically polished his bento box, and thought that maybe it was a bit of both.

He turned to look at Himawari. "But! Since we can't walk together in dreams, maybe we could go together to get an omikuji, right?" Watanuki always made sure to remind her that her wishful thoughts didn't have to remain as such, not with them. "If you get a good one, I'm sure it'll make you smile!"

He got what he'd hoped to see –Himawari did not hesitate and smiled warmly at him, managing to look even prettier than usual. "You did get a good one when you went to the Sanja Matsuri, didn't you?"

"Of course! I carry that with me for good luck too!" Watanuki shuffled through his pockets for a bit before producing the future fortune he'd gotten the previous week, showing it to Himawari, who grabbed it to read it before returning it to Watanuki. "That oaf over there got a bad one instead!"

"Doumeki-kun doesn't need good fortunes as much as Watanuki-kun does, though," Himawari replied with an easy smile, causing Doumeki to nod, much to Watanuki's chagrin, and he slumped over in his seat, clutching his bento box close before putting his fortune away again.

"What about your cooking lessons, Watanuki-kun?"

Watanuki winced.

That was honestly a sore spot. The woman who had visited the shop a while before, wanting to learn how to cook, was probably the weirdest customer Yuuko's store had attracted from the very start, which was somewhat confusing when it was the one with the most underwhelming wish and who looked perfectly normal, even to Watanuki's eyes.

He had gone to her house three times so far, and every time he had felt even more unsettled than before, but at least this time he knew why; during their last lesson together, the woman had candidly admitted to him that she did not, and had never had before, tried to taste her own cooking.

Since Watanuki had become aware of the lack of memories surrounding his past, wrapped in vague things that felt less real and more like fabricated lies every time he thought about them, and the fact that he could not taste his own cooking, only remembering the way supernatural foods tasted like, this admission had shaken him to the core.

At first, her words 'I can't taste anything I've made myself' had made Watanuki's heart jump-start in his chest, and for a moment he had wondered whether this person was like him, somehow. But her next words, her refusal to try things she cooked because she thought it was disgusting… no, he could not understand that at all.

The fact that there was a part of him that was missing, lost where he could not reach it, made him feel like he was not complete –like this was what he needed to be able to feel truly rooted in the present, in this world that Himawari and Doumeki and Yuuko inhabited.

He wanted to taste his own cooking, he wanted to learn about himself so much that thinking about it hurt, and that was why he tried not to do so, waiting –simply waiting, because surely this would not continue forever.

That woman had denied everything Watanuki was trying so hard not to think about –she refused to eat her own cooking.

Watanuki supposed he should feel angry at least, wasn't that a normal feeling to have in such a situation? But all he could feel was a profound sadness.

"Ah… you see…" Watanuki stole a glance towards Doumeki, and found him staring at him.

The intensity of that stare unnerved him and made him feel like Doumeki could see perhaps a little bit too much of him, and for a second he wished to cover himself up somehow, so that those eyes would not look at him like that.

After that lesson, he had been so out of sorts that Mokona's suggestion to stop at Doumeki's place to drink alcohol had gathered absolutely no complaints. In fact, Watanuki had welcomed the idea. He had promised himself to stop denying himself things he wanted to do, and he had wanted to see Doumeki. In the end, he couldn't deny that Doumeki's presence made him feel less upset about his problems somehow, and this time hadn't been an exception. Just talking to him about the woman had helped Watanuki feel a little better, more secure about what he wanted to do.

Maybe it would have been the same if he'd talked it out with Yuuko, but the fact that Doumeki had been there and willing to listen to his problems still mattered. And in the end, Yuuko and Doumeki were definitely different people, even if both were dear to him.

Despite that, that woman's refusal still bothered him, which was what had made him determined to get her to reconsider her stance. The woman's rejection was a rejection towards everything Watanuki strived to know about himself, and perhaps worse, it was a rejection towards her own self.

"The lessons are going well," he finally told Himawari. There was no real reason to keep it to himself, or just between himself and Doumeki, but Watanuki did not want to bother Himawari with dark thoughts that he couldn't really express well, so he decided to skip straight to the end. "I'll continue trying to teach her, until…" 'until she eats the food she makes' he vowed to himself. "Until I'm satisfied," he finished.

"I'm glad you're all fired up about this, Watanuki-kun," Himawari pointed her chopsticks at him, and tried to look serious. "Looking so sad doesn't suit you at all. I prefer it when you are smiling…" Watanuki felt his heart soar despite himself, "or when you do those little sketches with Doumeki-kun, even though it's been a while since you've done one! But this closeness between you two makes me happy too!"

Watanuki coughed and buried his face in his cup of tea, feeling his cheeks burn at her assumptions. Yes, his attitude towards Doumeki had changed but it wasn't that noticeable and surely he hadn't stopped squabbling with him, either…

"E-either way!" he said, perhaps a bit too loudly. "I decided to ask Yuuko-san to let me continue our lessons at the store instead of that woman's house".

Himawari nodded. "When is she coming then?"

"It's going to be next week, just as usual," glad the conversation had returned on steadier grounds, Watanuki cleared his throat and absently grabbed the thermos to fill Doumeki's cup once again, as he'd recognised the particular look in Doumeki's eyes that meant he was going for seconds and would need more to drink to swallow everything.

Really, that guy was a bottomless pit when it came to food.

"Ready to give it a go?"

Watanuki nodded.

He had slipped into a dream without a problem, going to bed as usual with Mokona cuddled up to him, and as he had expected, he had woken up inside Yuuko's dream shop.

It was still dark outside, but not a full moon, the sky strangely covered with some heavy, grey clouds. Watanuki was too busy feeling satisfied that he had recognised quickly that he was in a dream to take notice of them, and when Haruka had walked towards him from behind a corner of the store, his attention had moved to him.

"Good evening, Haruka-san," he greeted the older man, who lifted one hand to salute him, the same gentle smile on his lips. "Yeah, I already called Touya-san earlier this evening to tell him where I thought we could meet up, and he seemed to think it was a good idea," he told him.

"Well, this time I won't help you," Haruka replied, the smile taking an amused edge. "This is something you should be able to learn on your own, otherwise it wouldn't feel as satisfying to you, am I right?"

With a sheepish smile, Watanuki nodded.

He could have asked Haruka to help him reach the Sensou-ji, but he hadn't wanted to do so, determined to do it by himself, and Haruka seemed to have realised this already since he had not offered to help either.

"Be careful," Haruka said once again, voice serious, and he absently covered his mouth with his hand to take his cigarette. Watanuki had the distinct feeling he was not smiling, but when the man removed his hand, he looked still the same as before, so Watanuki shook his head.

"Of course," he replied. "I'll be ok".

He closed his eyes, determined to make sure he would get to the right place and not have Touya wait for him too long, and pictured the Sensou-ji as the last time he had seen it in a dream –empty and quiet, covered by a blanket of darkness.

Seconds ticked by, and when Watanuki dared to check, one eye opening, he saw Haruka staring at him in amusement, but he was still in Yuuko's backyard.

"What am I doing wrong?" he asked out loud, frustration replacing the earlier calm. "I thought I would be able to go there easily…?"

"Kimihiro-kun…"

"No, wait! I can… I will do it," Watanuki hastened to reassure the man, shaking his head and shutting both eyes close again. "Sensou-ji… hmmm…"

He tried to concentrate again, feeling a trickle of disappointment fill him when he realised that if he couldn't get to the Sensou-ji before morning, he would have wasted Touya's time and his precious hours of sleep, not to mention Yukito's energy too, since he was the one who had offered to lend Touya his power so that he could teach Watanuki.

Watanuki hadn't known at first how Touya and Yukito could travel through dreams, and they had told him only after they had already promised him they'd help –he had tried to refuse then, appalled at the thought of Yukito foregoing a night's sleep just for the sake of teaching him the ropes of dream walking, but Yukito had reassured him, more than once, that he knew what he was doing, and he would gladly do it if it meant Watanuki could learn something.

So, with such kind offer, Watanuki could not afford to waste time.

Then he paused, his mind stuck between thinking about Touya and trying to keep a clear image of the temple as he'd seen it in a dream. Maybe that was the problem –the temple in the dream was just a reflection of how the place was in reality, so to go there he shouldn't focus on it as it was within the dream world, but actually…

"Hey".

Watanuki was startled and his eyes fluttering open, and he found himself looking at Touya, who had a tiny smile on his lips.

"Ah! I did it!"

He looked around, just to make sure he was truly at the temple, and realised that he had picked a spot nearby the Kaminarimon, and behind him was one of the two statues protected by the metallic railing, towering over him and looking as ominous as it had been the day he'd seen it for the first time.

"I knew you would do it," Touya said, his tone so full of certainty that Watanuki felt a wave of pride fill him. "Moving through dreams is not as instinctual as it seems, sometimes it needs something to trigger the shift. Do you want to move somewhere else so that we can sit down, or is this place good enough?"

Watanuki turned to look at him. "Anywhere is fine now, right?" he said out loud. "Maybe we could stay closer to the temple? Haruka-san said this place is filled with a purifying aura, so…"

Touya nodded, then walked through the Kaminarimon and Watanuki hurried up to follow him.

"You've mentioned Haruka-san during the phone call earlier," Touya said, trying to make conversation to cover the fact that he was feeling a bit awkward now that it was just him and Watanuki, without Yukito there. "Who is that?"

"Ah! It's Doumeki's grandfather," Watanuki replied with a smile. "He saved me from a creature once because I bought his dream presence from Doumeki, and since then he has visited me often through dreams".

Touya frowned a bit at that. "If you had someone who could travel through dreams already, why did you…?"

Watanuki, a bit flustered, was not sure how to answer that. "It honestly didn't occur me to ask Haruka-san for help, and then I never really knew when he'd appear next, and I was always a bit occupied every time we've spoken," he admitted, looking away from Touya. "I asked you without thinking, really… I'm sorry if that ended up being a bother–"

"Not at all," Touya hastily reassured him, receiving a small smile from Watanuki.

"–and after that Haruka-san said he wouldn't be able to teach me much, since he's only here in spirit," Watanuki finished, rubbing the back of his head.

"Huh?"

"Oh, that's because Doumeki's grandfather died when we were in second grade," Watanuki added helpfully, turning to look at Touya with a small smile, not noticing the shock on his face. "I was only able to meet him because of the Yumekai's dream balloon…"

"It seems like you have quite a few things to tell," Touya muttered, shaking his head. "Dead grandfathers, dream balloons… maybe one of these days you could tell me and Yukito all about it, if you want".

Watanuki looked up at the temple as they walked closer to it, and smiled wistfully, wondering for a fleeting moment whether he would still be there by then, and Touya, watching that expression, felt his heart clench painfully, and once again reached out, about to touch Watanuki's shoulder…

A clattering sound echoed from somewhere at their right, and both Watanuki and Touya were startled and spun around at the same time, trying to locate the source of the noise even as it stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"Who–"

Watanuki squinted, but the only thing he could see close by was the temple's wire stand where visitors tied their negative omikuji before leaving, and nothing seemed amiss there. he remembered it since Doumeki himself had tied his own bad fortune to it when they had visited the temple the week before.

Touya scanned the perimeter of the temple's grounds, frowning and getting ready to push Watanuki away from harm's way if it came down to it, and then the clattering noise started again, and as both he and Watanuki spun around again, they could finally see the cause of the commotion.

The structure with the omikuji tied into neat rows was vibrating, and under their eyes it started rattling and shaking, as if shaken by invisible hands.

Watanuki's eyes widened when he saw dark smoke envelop the whole stand, and he unconsciously took a step back, his attention caught by a specific fortune paper that was dripping slick, black oil onto the ground, and from which the smoke seemed to be coming from.

He hadn't thought that he would be able to find this sort of smoke even in dreams, and the thought chilled him, especially as he could start to smell the disgusting stench coming from the smoke even from this far, and it was worse than what he'd ever found before in reality.

The smell of the smoke seemed to drench the air itself, making it thick and slick, and Watanuki brought one hand to his mouth, trying to stop himself from breathing it.

"Touya-san, what is…"

"I have no idea, kid," Touya was staring at the stand with narrowed eyes; though he couldn't see the dark smoke himself, he could feel something ominous coming from there, and he still could see the structure rattling. "Maybe it's better if we leave this place right now, before–"

It was too late.

The dark, murky cloud of smoke seemed to expand to encompass the entire stand of omikuji, black oil dripping onto every single piece of paper before swallowing them, and the more bad fortune slips it touched, the bigger and fouler it seemed to get.

Like a nightmarish vision, little eyes blinked open from various parts of the black cloud, winking and directing their sight around before zooming in on Watanuki, who felt dread pool inside him at that, realising that once again he was becoming the target of something bad.

"T-Touya-san, get away from me," he said, his voice steely despite how much he wanted to retch at the smell.

"What are you saying? I'm not going to let you face this thing on your own… or face this thing at all, either," Touya stepped closer to him, one hand reaching out to grab Watanuki's wrist, pulling him closer to him and then behind his back, trying to get him out of the sight of the monster in front of them.

As it grew more powerful bit by bit, absorbing the dark feelings of the bad fortunes tied to the post, it also became clearer to Touya's eyes, until he could see more than just a fuzzy, blurry blot.

"No, you don't get it!" Watanuki tried to pull free, but Touya was not allowing it. "It'll follow me, so just get away! I can–"

"You can what? Fight it off yourself? As if I'd let you do that!" Touya was not looking at him, but his voice was steely and angry as he scolded him, and Watanuki couldn't help but feel weirdly chastised.

He had been through a lot of similar situations in the past, and through every single one, he had done what he could on his own, only starting to rely on others after he'd met Yuuko, and just because she had slowly chipped away at his resolve, making him realise he could not do everything by himself.

But this… he knew how to deal with this.

If he could just return to Yuuko's shop, he knew –he just knew– that the kekkai surrounding it would dissolve the creature away, just like it had in the past, the first time Watanuki had touched it.

"I'll go to the store," he told Touya, still trying to free himself. "The kekkai…"

"I don't think you can do that on your own, when we didn't even start on your first lesson," Touya grunted, backing away from the creature and pushing Watanuki with him, still careful to keep him shielded behind him. "And I can't go there, which would imply I should leave you alone, and what if you can't go there and just keep zooming elsewhere while you run?"

Watanuki gritted his teeth. He hadn't thought about that.

"Let's leave the temple for now," Touya decided. "Once we're out of here, I'll force us both awake, this way we should be–"

The creature chose this moment to move towards them, with a speed neither had expected it to have for its size and its sluggish movements until them; it expanded in the air and coils of smoke darted out towards them, extending like tentacles to grab them.

Touya reacted instinctively and threw himself to the right, dragging Watanuki with him. His intention had been to avoid the attack and then jump back on his feet, running in the opposite direction and making sure Watanuki was safe, but he hadn't expected Watanuki to oppose resistance, crouching low and then propelling himself the other way, effectively slipping out of his grip.

Touya rolled and was on his feet just one moment later, but Watanuki was even faster, and was already sprinting towards the temple instead of out of it, reflecting that if he managed to get inside or at least close enough to the shrine, the purifying aura would surely chase away the creature, and at the same time keep it away from Touya, who was not its target.

"Kimihiro!"

Watanuki stumbled a bit, shocked to hear Touya use his name, and gritted his teeth, now even more determined to drag that creature away from him; at the same time he could not stop the flare of embarrassed, flustered warmth at that even though they hadn't known each other long enough to be on a name basis.

The creature followed him right away, floating in chase even as Watanuki ran across the courtyard of the temple, and he realised two things as he dared to glance behind him –without a doubt, Touya would try to follow, and the creature was probably faster than Watanuki himself was.

One of the tendrils reached out to grab him, darting out to wrap around his wrist, and Watanuki choked back a disgusted and pained cry as he was assaulted by a wave of nausea and familiarity at the touch.

It had been a long time since he'd had to run from a creature that was chasing him like this, and he had not missed it, but this was somewhat worse –he could feel his energy sap away like it was drained from where the monster was touching him, and the smell was amplified in the dream world unlike in reality.

He faltered and stumbled a bit, and the creature downed on him instantly, using this moment of hesitation to send out more tendrils to hold him still.

Watanuki fell to the floor in a heap, panic filling him, and he looked around, searching for something that could help him get free, then his surroundings flickered and changed, wavering just like when he had unknowingly shifted from the temple to the riverside.

Slightly dizzy and disoriented, Watanuki pushed and shoved the tentacles away from him, and then he bumped into something. Startled, he looked up, surprised to see a tree behind him.

"Where the– huh?"

The creature stilled in front of him, tentacles raised in the air and all eyes wriggling and looking around rather than just at Watanuki, and he took a shuddery breath and circled around the tree, backing away as much as possible from it while it was distracted.

It was then that he recognised his surroundings –he was at Doumeki's place.

"Why…?"

He could not understand why he was there –he hadn't been thinking about Doumeki at all, and yet he had unconsciously travelled through dreams here, so…?

He had no time to consider the implications of this, because as if suddenly attracted by something, the creature wobbled and retracted its tentacles, its multiple eyes slowly falling shut as it contracted within itself, growing smaller and smaller, until it was the side of a soccer ball and there was only one single eye open.

The eye blinked and looked around, ignoring Watanuki entirely, inky slime dripping down on the ground.

Then it moved –but not towards Watanuki, who was staring at it in shock; it darted towards Doumeki's house, squishing its way through what looked like an open window, and it took Watanuki a second before he realised what was going on.

"No, stop!"

He rushed forwards, reaching the window and peeking inside, and as he had thought, that was Doumeki's window.

The room wasn't big, and he remembered it since he had visited more than once in the past, the most recent with Mokona to drink even if they had been received in the guest room on the other side of the compound, so he knew where to look –and just like he had expected, tucked in the corner there was Doumeki, sleeping.

It was not the first time he had touched on someone's reality while in the dream world, but this was Doumeki, someone he knew, and hovering above him was the monster, blinking its eye down at him.

"Doumeki!" Watanuki pressed his hands against the windowpane, but Doumeki did not wake up, and the monster did not move away from him either, no matter how much noise Watanuki made, slamming both fists on the glass. "Get away from him!"

The eye turned to look at him then blinked slowly, still not breaking eye contact with Watanuki who was frozen there, then it started to lower itself down on Doumeki, until its appendage seemed to melt with Doumeki's chest, right where his heart was, and Doumeki was enveloped within a cloud of thick, black smoke.

"Doumeki!" Watanuki, finally pushing away from the window, hurried around the corner of the house to the first sliding door, pushed it open and without thinking about propriety –though id that work when one was inside a dream, and not the actual house?– he ran inside, quickly making his way to Doumeki's bedroom.

He couldn't even make it pass the entrance, because the smell permeating the air inside the room was too much for him, and he slumped in front of the door, trying to see Doumeki's body hidden away because of the smoke.

"Doumeki! Oi, Doumeki! Wake up! Are you alright? Doumeki!"

He crawled inside, the foul smell making him cough, but like this he couldn't even see where the bed was, and he was hit by a wave of nausea and vertigo that took away what little strength he had left after the creature had sapped it earlier.

He slumped on the floor, feeling the cold tiles against his cheek, still trying to drag himself further inside the room, his eyes sliding close without his will–

–and he was startled awake, ripping his blanket away from him and sitting up in bed, heart racing in his chest as Mokona rolled off the bed without even waking up, hitting the floor with a soft, quiet murmur.

"… eh?"

…–…–…–…–…–…

Glossary:

Kekkai - magical protective barrier. Spiritual users like Yuuko can raise one to protect what's inside from dangers or threats.

Omikuji - fortune paper predictions (see previous fanfic)

Kimihiro (or, on first name basis in Japan) - only members of the same family or very close friends (childhood friends, etc) use each other's given names. School friends mostly use surnames with suffixes or without them, and with girls, first-name basis with a suffix is left to friends of various degrees. No suffix indicates either heavy dislike (Watanuki calling Doumeki without any suffix and using his surname, for example, indicates this earlier in the series and he never changes), or really close friendship/closeness. -chan is used for girls or childhood friends, -kun is mostly for guys. There are various degrees of closeness in this. Kohane asking Watanuki to call him Kimihiro-kun is a request for a particular closeness, Shaoran's desire to call him Kimihiro is an even more obvious admission of closeness (duh), Haruka's request to be called as such is mostly a show of the relationship him and Watanuki have plus the need to not confuse him with Doumeki the grandson. Since we never hear what Haruka calls Watanuki, I've taken the liberty of having Watanuki return the courtesy and asking Haruka to call him by his name too.