Chapter one: Stuck

"And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3

To put it in a word, Inuyasha was stuck. He was stuck in a memory, stuck in a place, even stuck in time. How many times over the past 500 years had he made the trip to the Higurashi shrine? The shrine was erected soon after Kikyo - one of the most powerful miko to have ever existed - had died. To inuyasha, the shrine was simply a memory of a time long gone.

The age of youkai and spirits had long since passed. The very beings who had once held sway over Japan and it's people now hid away like cowards; unable to even be seen by the ones they once held so much power over. Even Inuyasha's brother, the great daiyoukai - Sesshomaru, had hidden away. Youkai and demons were now simply nothing but fairy tales told by parents to get their children to behave.

It had happened slowly over the generations. As humans developed and learned more, they simply lost the ability to see them. As Inuyasha had heard it been put before, The world of spirits was only open to those with the innocence of a child. For this reason many lower youkai now occupied their time simply by making babies cry.

This was another thing Inuyasha had found himself stuck in - a war. Being only half demon - a hanyou - humans could still see him. The changes had made hanyous even rarer then they had been and made youkai's hatred of them grow even stronger. Humans had feared hanyou, an anomaly from their mundane world, and youkai hated them them simply because they could be seen, longing to regain the power and worship the humans had once given them. Because of this, many hanyou had been killed by jealous youkai or frightened humans. Inuyasha honestly wasn't even aware of another hanyou anymore.

He had tried to run away from his past many times, but he had always found himself back at the shrine, bound to it by unseen forces. It was the only thing remaining of his one time of happiness in his life.

Kikyo.

Despite her being a miko, they had developed a strong relationship. One Inuyasha still treasured. Kikyo was really the first person (or youkai for that matter) that had not tried to brutally murder him.

At the beginning of their relationship he has been confused by her hesitance to kill him. No miko or monk had ever once not taken a shot at trying to purify him. It was the driving factor that had driven him to follow and watch her every day (well, that and the Shikon no Tama that she held in her possession, but Inuyasha had lost interest in it quickly if he were to be honest with himself).

Soon, they had begun to talk. It was the first real social interaction since his mother had died. Inuyasha had hardened his heart after his mother's death, something that wasn't hard to do in his life. To Inuyasha, love meant death, emotions led to carnage and anything but a stone face meant meant weakness.

But Kikyo had broken through his walls. For once in 150 years of his life, he began to love.

And he regretted it.

Not soon after his relationship with Kikyo had begun, she was violently ripped from his hands. Stolen by the one thing he refused to let have him; death.

Kikyo had always been sought out by demons as she had the Shikon no Tama, a jewel that could amplify a demons strength 100 fold. Inuyasha had always known about the jewel, at first wanting it for himself to become a full youkai instead of what he was, a worthless half demon; but he could never bring himself to take it from her; instead helping her guard it, eventually even planning to us it to turn him into the part of him he hated most - a human.

He had vowed to protect her with his life, yet he still couldn't prevent the inevitable.

Kikyo had left early one morning without telling Inuyasha. With the jewel in hand she made her way towards a village she had heard rumours of a youkai killing it's inhabitants. While traveling alone, she had been ambushed. The jewel was stolen. By an incredible feat of strength, Kikyo had managed to make it back to the village through her injuries, finally collapsing in Inuyashas arms and letting death finally take hold.

Inuyasha had been helpless. She had died in his arms, cold and beautiful. A part of him wanted to yell at her for being so stupid and reckless. What was she thinking leaving alone?! Inuyasha couldn't take it, his sorrow turning into white hot rage. Leaving Kikyo at the base of the Goshinboku tree, he went after the bastard who had killed her. It hadn't taken him long since he reeked of Kikyo's blood.

Although he hadn't been able to kill the man responsible, he did manage to steal the jewel back, taking it back to Kikyo. It was her final wish for the jewel to be burned with her body if she were to ever meet such a fate. And it was. The jewel was burned and never seen since.

Even though Inuyasha knew Kikyo was gone, he could still feel her presence at the shrine. Some times, he swore if he really strained to listen, he could still hear her laughing and playing with the village children. Some times he even swore he could feel her arms wrap around him, feeling her warmth and relaxing in her scent.

But she was dead. And in a way, Inuyasha was too. Time did not move for the dead. Thus, Inuyasha was stuck.

Inuyasha now stood stood at the red torii gates gates of the Higurashi shrine and closed his golden eyes. He could still feel Kikyo despite the 500 year time gap. He smiled to himself, reveling in her spirit. He let himself move freely in the open space of the shrine. The shrine keeper and his daughter were not here so he decided to enjoy his momentary freedom. Soon, he knew he would have to hide again.

Inuyasha approached the large tree standing to the side of the shrine - the Goshinboku tree, the base of which Kikyo had taken her last breaths. The tree was believed to transcribe feelings across all the ages, which made a hell of a lot of sense to him since Kikyo's aura was strongest here. He stood there bathed in harsh moonlight. It emphasized his long silver hair and dog ears with a even brighter silver outline. He just stood there, basking in the very soul of Kikyo until dawn.

As the sun broke over the horizon, he opened his eyes. The tenants had still not returned home. He gave out a big sigh, grateful for the peaceful night alone. He figured he should hide as visiting hours would soon have shrine visitors who would most defiantly cause a riot if he were to be seen.

With one powerful leap, Inuyasha dashed towards the small wooded area to the back of the shrine, the early morning sun making the intense red of his haori and hakama even harsher. It hadn't been to the shrine in years, he might as well stay here a while longer.

He could hear the sounds of the city pick up as the sun rose higher in the sky. All these metal contraptions had been around for over 80 years and he still couldn't get used to it. The sounds assaulted his sensitive ears and made it harder for him to sense any danger.

Finding a tree the inu-hanyou found acceptable for the day, he climbed atop it and perched himself carelessly. He was still close enough to the Goshinboku that he could feel Kikyo's spirit. It was strong as ever.

But then, it vanished.

His heart skipped a beat. What the hell?! In over 500 years the aura of Kikyo's soul had never once faltered, but now it was... gone. There one second, gone the next, like a cruel magic trick. He was about to leap down and investigate when he heard the offending noise of footsteps. Early morning shrine visitors. They couldn't have picked a worse time Inuyasha thought, powerless to do anything about the sudden disappearance of the miko's spirit.

It wasn't until a couple of hours later that a very tired looking Higurashi family returned to the shrine. The wailing cries of a baby girl coming from their direction.

AN: So, I may be about 15 or so years late in this, but I finally got around to watching Inuyasha. Needless to say, I've been obsessed with it since.

*Ahem* anyways; a few things you should know going into this. First of all, this is going to be long. I already have a bout 4 chapters completed, waiting to be transferred and edited. This story will NOT progress quickly. I hate when fanfictions are like "inuyasha saw kagome and loved her instantly". Yes, this story will have "first impressions" but know that I am going to follow the character personalities that Rumiko Takehashi laid out for them. I love the struggle they all face, Inuyasha struggling to love because of his tragic life, Kagome going though what any woman would feel in her situation, Miroku having to respect Sango's inability to move past Kohaku, all of that will be expanded on in this story. The main focus will be Inukag with small parts for mirsan and even Sesshomaru and Rin (don't worry she's older, I don't roll that way) will be making an appearance.

Now that that's out of the way, also know that this story WILL be dealing with some very heavy topics. Rape, miscarriage, death, torture and kidnapping, etc. A lot of this story is going to be loosely based on my own experience with these topics. There will be lemons, but that will be much later. No romantic plot will be brought it quickly as I said, but I promise to keep it interesting until then.

Finally, this takes place in the present. None of the events of the first anime occurred. The only thing that has happened was Miroku and Sango still went after Naraku alone, which lead to their deaths and they have been reincarnated.

Sorry for this long ass AN, I want y'all to go into this with with as much knowledge as possible. Knowledge is power afterall. So enjoy and leave a review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make profit in this at all. Inuyasaha belongs to Rumiko Takehashi