Title: Tell Her (One Night)
Chapter: 1/?
Author: jdc15
Rating: M/NC-17
Word Count: About 4.2k
Summary: It's just that she's never felt this desire, this need to touch another person's body like she needs to touch Aubrey, and the thought of that ending is not something she thinks she can handle.
Notes: Might continue if enough people show interest, but may be left on its own. However, I am notoriously bad at continuing things, so you have my apologies in advance.
The first time she notices Aubrey, really notices her, is when they show up for the retreat. She's all but forgotten about the blonde; they weren't ever particularly close and after Aubrey graduated, the only contact they had was via the occasional group email about military-themed cardio regimes.
She knows that there used to be something, there had always been something, ever since the way Aubrey stared at her during her very first audition, but nothing had been said about it and it never became anything other than the occasional fleeting glance or elbow brush. She isn't sure whether she now imagines Aubrey's gaze lingering on her for a second longer than it does on the other Bellas, but either way, she doesn't have time to ponder it before they're forced into a practice session that makes it clear that Aubrey has certainly found her career calling.
She does catch a glimpse of Aubrey in a bikini and some funny sensation happens in her stomach, but she passes it off as adrenaline from the thirty-foot drop into the water.
/
She's flat on her back, feebly attempting to stretch her legs without crying, when a shadow falls over her and a familiar voice sounds: "Stace?"
"Hey Bree. Sorry, I can't turn my head," she answers, and there's that damned feeling again. She bites her lip and catches Aubrey's smile out of the corner of her eye.
"That bad?" Her tone is simultaneously teasing and concerned, and it's incentive enough for Stacie to prop herself up on her elbows and look her in the eye.
"Can't believe I'm still alive, to be honest."
"Sorry." Aubrey sinks down next to her, close enough for their arms to just touch. Stacie bites her lip rather firmly.
"It's all right," she says, bumping Aubrey's arm with her own. "I'll live. I've missed your crazy rehearsals."
Aubrey smiles and fiddles with the cuff of her sleeve. "Really?"
"Of course," Stacie gives her a gentle flick. Her every move feels forced, stilted, though Aubrey doesn't seem to notice anything amiss. "How have you been?"
"Fine," Aubrey says. Stacie waits for her to elaborate, but nothing follows.
"Just 'fine'?"
"I've been good."
"How descriptive."
"I mean, I've been doing well. I like my job, but it's like…I'm in the middle of nowhere, you know? And my boyfriend visits sometimes, but other than that, it's really lonely. You guys coming here is the best thing that's happened to me in months."
She sounds so vulnerable, and it's so unlike Aubrey to affect that tone. Stacie knows she should pat her on the shoulder, offer a hug, give her advice, but all she can hear is 'my boyfriend' echoing obnoxiously in her mind.
"Who's your boyfriend?"
Aubrey blinks. "Oh…um, do you remember Donald? From the Treblemakers?"
"Oh…right," Stacie murmurs. "How are you two doing?"
Aubrey looks suddenly uncomfortable. "Fine."
"That your new favorite word?" She's being rude, now, and Aubrey stares at her.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm great," Stacie says. She doesn't know why she's acting like this, but there's something about the conversation that's suddenly irritating her immensely.
"Okay. Well, yeah. He's nice. He really makes an effort with this long-distance thing, since he's studying at Davidson right now, and I'm here, and—"
"You know what, I'm actually really tired. Think I'm going to grab a nap," Stacie says abruptly. She stands and immediately regrets it, but heads to the tent anyway. She knows she's being an asshole, but she can't seem to control her motions and it isn't until she bundles herself into her sleeping bag that she realizes she will, eventually, have to face this.
/
She doesn't emerge, and no one comes to bother her, until they all wander in for bed. She wakes up to Beca shaking her shoulder gently. "Stace? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good," she mumbles, rubbing her eyes and offering a smile. "Just tired from Aubrey's boot camp."
Aubrey. That's right. Stacie's stomach clenches uncomfortably and she burrows back into her pillow.
/
She isn't sure whether the loud buzzing is in her dream. Either way, she grumbles and smacks her arms around drowsily, but achieves nothing but punching Cynthia Rose. "Sorry," she whispers, as she comes fully into consciousness, locates her phone, and squints at the screen.
It's Aubrey. Meet me outside the tent
Wake up!
I can hear your phone from out here!
She is hit by a wave of nerves, and immediately has the urge to ignore it and claim to be a much sounder sleeper than she actually is. Instead, she finds herself reaching for a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. She climbs gingerly over the girls and slips outside, stifling a groan when her back spasms and she nearly falls over.
"Are you okay?" Aubrey's voice sounds directly behind her and she jumps, and then regrets the sudden movement.
"I'm wonderful," she grits out. "Not sure what I'm doing outside the tent in the freezing cold dead of night, but whatever."
"It's sixty-five degrees," Aubrey says. "Walk with me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"All right then. But how about we keep the walking to a minimum because if you want me to go hiking I think I'll drown myself in the lake."
"Don't worry," Aubrey says. "No hiking."
She smiles and bites her lip, and Stacie can't really do anything but stare at her. Aubrey holds her hand out and when Stacie doesn't take it, she reaches down and entwines their fingers, tugging Stacie towards the woods.
Stacie balks. "Bree—the bear traps—"
Aubrey gives her a look. "I planted them all."
"Right."
They walk—well, Aubrey walks, Stacie stumbles—until they reach the small dock on the lake. Aubrey turns to her and smiles softly. "I just wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"
"Now you ask?" Stacie pauses. "Yeah, it's fine. What do you want to talk about?"
Aubrey's face falls slightly. "Why are you being so cold?" She sounds hurt, and Stacie immediately feels like a dick.
"I'm sorry," she says, sincerely. "I don't know."
"Are you sure?"
Stacie turns to her, and Aubrey tilts her head curiously. Her face is half-lit with moonlight, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks, and Stacie stops breathing for a second. The soft lapping of the water is the only sound in what would otherwise be complete stillness. The moment is perfect for a kiss, but Aubrey has a boyfriend and Stacie has never been someone who interferes in relationships, so she forces herself to look away. She's stopped, however, by a hand on her jaw, turning her face back to meet Aubrey's gaze. "Stace?"
"Bree…"
And then Aubrey's leaning in and pressing their lips together, just once, before pulling back and leaving their foreheads together, noses brushing. Stacie's chest heaves and she can't seem to force her brain into action.
"Aubrey," she mumbles uselessly. "What are you—?"
And then their lips are pressed together again, and Aubrey's mouth opens against hers, and Stacie comes alive.
Her hand comes up reflexively to stroke against Aubrey's jaw as they kiss, slowly and close-mouthed, gently rubbing her thumb against the patch of skin in front of Aubrey's ear. She moves to kiss it a second later, and Aubrey pulls in a gasp that sounds like it drained the air for miles.
Stacie presses wet kisses down her throat, shuddering when Aubrey tangles her hands in her hair, fiddling with the tie that holds it back. Stacie yanks it out, impatiently, and her hair cascades down her back and over Aubrey's hands.
There's a moment, not lasting more than a few seconds, where Stacie remembers what's happening, but then Aubrey's nails scratch at the nape of her neck and she nips at Aubrey's neck and she's back to nothing but feeling the moment.
She returns to Aubrey's lips, coaxing her mouth open and licking slightly into her mouth, letting out a moan when Aubrey's tongue comes to meet her own. It's not sloppy, though; Aubrey is a polite kisser, not shoving her tongue down Stacie's throat, and she is surprisingly skilled with her mouth. Her hand comes to Stacie's waist and then to her lower back, rubbing with just enough pressure to alleviate some of the pain in her muscles, and she gasps into Aubrey's mouth.
"Does that feel good?" Aubrey whispers against her lips.
"Do it again," Stacie says, and she would be embarrassed to beg if she wasn't so damn sore. Aubrey presses firm circles into her back and Stacie's head falls to her shoulder, arms draped around her waist. Aubrey chuckles and nudges her nose against Stacie's temple as she explores, her fingers kneading gently but firmly into her back.
"I'm sorry," she breathes into Stacie's hair. "I didn't mean to do this to you."
"Don't worry about it. You're redeeming yourself n—oh, fuck."
Aubrey pulls away then, a smirk on her lips. Stacie's eyes flutter open and their gazes meet, and they both seem to realize what's happened.
"Stace…I'm sorry, I didn't—"
"No, don't apologize. You haven't done anything," Stacie says quickly. "If anything, it was me—"
Aubrey lets out a sigh and her head drops to Stacie's shoulder. Stacie pulls her into a hug and they sit like that for a moment before Aubrey speaks again.
"I'm sorry that this happened."
Stacie's stomach drops and Aubrey must hear her intake of breath because she quickly backtracks. "No, not like that—I don't regret it. I just…I haven't seen you for three years and a lot has changed since I graduated, and…I don't know. You know?"
"Yeah."
"I mean…I always felt like there was something different between us, but I never really thought anything of it, but when I saw you earlier today…" She trails off and Stacie takes a deep breath.
"I know what you mean. I'm just confused now, I guess. I mean, you have a boyfriend. We haven't talked since graduation. I just don't really know why this happened."
"Me neither."
There's room there for a conversation, but they fall into silence. Finally, they stand and retrace their steps, parting ways at the tent with nothing more than a brush of hands.
/
She isn't sure, the next morning, whether she dreamed it all. When they wander out of the tent, Aubrey offers her nothing more than a glance and a nod before she sets them to work.
/
By the time night falls and a fire is built, she's worked herself into a knot of worry. This is why she doesn't fuck with people who are already taken. The guilt. She hates when people are hurt, and she hates even more when she's the one who hurt them.
/
The sit around the fire for hours. Stacie fidgets through the seemingly endless singing and emotional planning for the future until Aubrey says that her "work here is done," and Stacie makes her decision. She pulls out her phone and types: meet me at the dock?
She tucks her phone away and edges away from the fire as everyone begins heading back to the tent, and they're all too preoccupied with crying and hugging to notice her leave.
She's barely reached the woods when footsteps crunch over the leaves behind her and a small hand curves around her wrist. "Come with me," Aubrey murmurs into her ear, and tugs her back toward the lodge.
/
Stacie allows Aubrey to lead her silently, all the way into the lodge and to Aubrey's room at the back. It's not until Aubrey bolts the door and turns to her that Stacie opens her mouth.
"What are we doing?"
"What do you want to do?"
She's taken aback. Aubrey had led her as if she had a plan, but finding out that there isn't one throws her for a loop.
"I mean…" Aubrey takes a step forward. "We could talk. If you want. Or, we could…not talk."
All reasonable thought seems to have fled Stacie's mind, and all she can think is how unresolved sexual tension left to stew for three years can lead to some regrettable actions.
Aubrey seems to take her silence as encouragement, as she fists her hand in Stacie's sleep shirt and flips them so Stacie is pinned against the wall. Her actions are dominant but her eyes hold nothing but insecurity, so, fuck it, Stacie lurches forward to kiss her. It's desperate—she doesn't know why, but all she can think to do in that moment is be kissing Aubrey, and Aubrey kisses her back, nipping at her lips and slipping her tongue into her mouth. It's hot, and heavy, and Aubrey throws her head back so fast that it hits the door when Stacie runs a hand under her shirt to cup her breast over the bra.
She can't even think straight. This isn't how she normally does things—well, it is, but it's never like this. She can't put her finger on the feeling nagging at the back of her mind, and it would bother her if Aubrey wasn't such a damn good kisser.
She kisses a trail down Aubrey's neck, feeling her erratic pulse jump under her tongue. She notices everything about her, from her heartbeat to the way her lashes flutter when Stacie squeezes her breast over her shirt.
"Take it off," Aubrey gasps, and Stacie pulls it over her head without question. She only has time to briefly appreciate the way Aubrey looks in a black bra before she is pushed backwards to what she hopes is the bed. Her knees his the mattress and she sinks down, Aubrey's hand on the back of her head guiding her into place. It's sweet, the way Aubrey obviously wants to be sure Stacie doesn't hit her head on the wall, and she pulls Aubrey down for another kiss. She's insatiable, suddenly, and Aubrey's body hovering over her own isn't nearly enough. She struggles her way out of her shirt and immediately feels Aubrey's hand at the clasp of her bra.
"Can I—"
"Yeah, do you need help—" the stupidity of asking Aubrey if she needs assistance with a bra clasp is apparent when she slips it off with one hand without breaking the kiss. It's impressive, and it's really hot.
Stacie yanks the bra away and drops it off the side of the bed. Aubrey pulls back, just a bit, but enough for Stacie to pause.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I just—" Aubrey sighs frustratedly and buries her face in Stacie's shoulder. "I don't have much experience with…girls."
"Really?" It's surprising. Aubrey nods against her collarbone. "You had me fooled."
She feels Aubrey smile against her skin and drop a kiss to her neck. "Do you?" she asks without lifting her face.
"Yeah," Stacie admits. "But only twice, and I was drunk both times."
"Well, that still makes you the expert here. I've done it once."
"Expert? I wouldn't go that far."
"More of an expert than me," Aubrey mumbles as she presses her thigh, hard, between Stacie's legs, and Stacie pulls in a lungful of air so quickly she almost chokes on it. "Is that good?" Aubrey asks quietly.
Stacie doesn't bother to answer; she flips them and claims Aubrey's lips again before kissing a path down her neck and over the soft curve of her breast. "Can I take it off?"
"Please."
Stacie is almost embarrassed at the ten seconds she spends struggling with the clasp before it pops open and she can slide the bra down Aubrey's arms and off the bed, but when she lays eyes on Aubrey's chest, all she can feel is turned on. She's forgotten (or maybe never quite discovered?) how much she loves boobs.
/
She's never spent as much time on a part of someone's body as she does with Aubrey's chest. She feels a need to cover every millimeter of porcelain skin with kisses, and from Aubrey's desperate panting, she isn't exactly complaining. Stacie drags her tongue over a nipple and feels almost smug at the way it stiffens immediately. She cups both of Aubrey's breasts and kneads them, gently. She doesn't know if Aubrey likes it rough, or soft, or anywhere in between, so she airs on the side of tentative and hopes she's doing this properly. If Aubrey's wild eyes and unrestrained moans are any indication, she absolutely is.
Finally, she allows her mouth to venture to new, undiscovered territory. Aubrey's abs flex and quiver under her lips as she scrapes her teeth gently over them, and Stacie moves her hands to Aubrey's thighs and strokes up and down over her jeans.
Suddenly Aubrey is pushing her back, and she's terrified for a moment until she realizes Aubrey's struggling with her jeans, popping the button and shoving them down hurriedly. She only manages to get them to her knees before Stacie takes over and peels them away for her. The pale skin that is uncovered is impossible not to explore, so she bends to press her lips to Aubrey's legs. They're soft and fall open so easily at the tentative touch of Stacie's hands.
"Stacie, please." The quiet sound of Aubrey's voice is like a punch to Stacie's chest. Her lungs constrict and before she knows it, she's edging Aubrey's underwear down and discarding it over the side of the mattress. She catches Aubrey's lips in a rougher kiss as she drags two fingers between her legs for the first time. Aubrey's moan is lost in Stacie's mouth and she presses closer until their skin touches everywhere.
Stacie circles her fingers over Aubrey's clit, alternating high pressure with softer touches. Aubrey rocks against her fingers, her breathing coming in short gasps punctuated by groans of Stacie's name and various expletives. Aubrey cursing is never something Stacie though she'd find hot, but hearing her moan fuck me, Stacie turns her on more than she thought possible. Her arousal is so strong that it feels like it's burning with heat and she grinds down on Aubrey's quivering thigh, desperate for relief.
She moves her fingers more quickly, up and down and side to side, switching up the pace and the pattern until she feels something building. She parts from Aubrey's mouth and licks her way down her body, lingering again over her breasts and then at her hipbones, which stick out just enough for Stacie to trace circles around them with her tongue. She repeats the same pattern between her legs, opening her mouth fully and licking deep against her.
"Oh my god," Aubrey whimpers, her hands tangling in Stacie's hair and pulling hard enough to encourage but not enough to hurt, legs trembling and fingers scratching helplessly against Stacie's head. "Don't stop. Right there, baby, please."
She isn't sure what about Aubrey's words affects her so much, but whatever it is makes her double her efforts, wrapping her arms around Aubrey's thighs and dragging her impossibly closer, sucking her clit into her mouth and kissing desire into the heat of her body. She's so wet; Stacie's mouth is slick and Aubrey's inner thighs are sticky from where Stacie has dragged her hands over her skin.
Aubrey settles her legs around her shoulders, and it's not just another body under her, like it has been with so many others. It's Aubrey under her, hair mussed and panting out Stacie's name, and it's the most beautiful thing she's ever experienced.
It isn't much longer before Aubrey's body tenses almost violently, her thighs going rigid on either side of Stacie's head and trapping her where she continues to work her mouth, desperately trying to prolong the experience. She licks over her for long moments until Aubrey pulls feebly at her shoulder and she reluctantly rises from where she's surely left an indentation in the bed and returns to Aubrey's lips. They kiss for minutes before Aubrey pulls away slightly and there's an obvious space for words.
"Can I touch you?" is what comes out of Aubrey's mouth, which is so far from the regret that Stacie was expecting to hear that she doesn't even have time to do more than nod before Aubrey flips them to climb atop Stacie and sink her teeth into her neck.
/
She's been fingered before. Obviously. But when Aubrey slips inside her, all she can think is how the feeling of her, of every crease and dip of her hands, feels so new, so fresh, that it's like she's discovering the experience all over again.
"Do you like that?" Aubrey leans down to breathe into her ear, and Stacie's hips jerk up and off the bed at the sound. Aubrey's voice is rough and so unlike the way she usually speaks.
"Yeah." Her legs fall open at the press of Aubrey's hips into her own and she presses her lips together to stifle a moan as Aubrey grinds against the back of her own hand as she works her fingers, surprisingly adeptly, inside of her.
She's embarrassed when it takes only short minutes for her to reach the unmistakable building. "Bree," she whispers.
"Mm?" Aubrey shakes her hair out of her face and slows her fingers inside Stacie. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just—I don't want this to be over so quickly." She looks away and hates herself for the tears that suddenly spark at the corners of her eyes. She doesn't cry during sex. This is pathetic and she would be angry if she weren't so scared that after this is over they'll just go their separate ways and never speak again. She's never had a problem with that in the past; it's just that she's never felt this desire, this need to touch another person's body like she needs to touch Aubrey, and the thought of that ending is not something she thinks she can handle.
"It's not over," Aubrey says quietly. "Don't worry."
"Okay," Stacie says, but she is worried. She brushes a hand impatiently over her eyes and then shuts them when Aubrey begins an unhurried exploration of her chest, weighing her breasts in her hands and thumbing over her nipples, mouth slightly open as she familiarizes herself with the territory. She makes the executive decision to tweak one and Stacie feels a shock of arousal travel straight down between her legs.
Aubrey glances at her for just a moment before she returns her gaze to Stacie's chest and takes a nipple into her mouth, grazing her teeth lightly over it. She's either done this before or is so naturally good that Stacie doesn't notice her other hand moving until it resumes its circles around her clit. Stacie rolls her hips into the pressure, drawing all possible sensation from the pads of Aubrey's fingers as they speed up to a pace that has her orgasm slamming her body before she even realizes it was building again.
She squeaks out Aubrey's name, hands scrambling for purchase in the sheets. Aubrey's hands drift to her waist, and her lips linger on Stacie's neck for no longer than a second before she dives down to place her mouth between her legs.
Stacie cries out, her body jerking. She can't hold back from being loud this time around and has the fleeting hope that no one is within earshot of the room. Aubrey's tongue moves in precise circles and two fingers return to fill her perfectly and rub intimately against the inside of her. Aubrey makes smooth, deep strokes with her fingers and Stacie's head flies back onto the bed, her hands scratching at Aubrey's neck and shoulders. She glances down again, and the realization hits that probably the most beautiful girl in the world is currently buried between her legs, nose brushing her inner thighs with every stroke of her tongue and eyelashes fluttering as she sighs against her, tilting her head to change the angle and drive Stacie to climax for the second time.
/
Though she understands what it's like to want to continue forever, she drags Aubrey up to kiss her softly, tongue flicking out to trace her lips and soothe the racing pulse in Aubrey's neck.
They lie there for a while, not speaking, until Aubrey reaches across Stacie to turn out the lamp and they are bathed in darkness. The blanket is pulled over them and Aubrey snuggles her way into Stacie's arms.
It's the best feeling she knows, lying in bed with Aubrey after what they've shared. It could be tainted, it almost is tainted, with the knowledge that it's cheating, but she can't find it in herself to think about anything other than the soft, small body curled against her own.
In the morning, they'll talk, maybe fight, but until the sun rises Stacie has every intention of pretending that this is the most normal thing in the world.