Disclaimer: The Total Drama series which does include the Ridonculous Race is not mine and never will be. It instead belongs to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch who are gracious enough to allow it to air on Cartoon Network here in the United States in addition to several other countries besides on Teletoon in its native home of Canada.

Well folks this is Explorer of the Unknown (formerly 80jj) here in over my head yet again in an attempt at something many have tried to do before; writing their own season of Total Drama. Having been inspired by the recently aired spin-off mentioned above, which I highly recommend to all those who have not seen it, I made the decision to finally write something I've been thinking about for a long time. I sincerely hope that all who read this enjoy it.

But that's enough formalities for now. Let's get this show on the road!

Episode 1: Reunited And It Doesn't Feel So Good, Part 1

The camera panned to show Chris McLean standing at the end of a dock while reading a magazine with a rather unpleasant look.

"Unbelievable!" he exclaimed in disgust. "Those morons at Star Stalker actually have the nerve to call the Ridonculous Race the hottest show to ever hit reality TV? It's nothing but a ripoff of Total Drama World Tour! Seriously, who even came up with such a lame name?"

"Uh sir?" a voice nervously spoke up. Chris lowered his magazine to see that not only was camera facing him, the red light indicated that it was on and indeed rolling.

"Aw, crap!" the host's eyes went wide as he swiftly tossed what he had been holding aside and straightened out his hair before flashing the world his signature sadistic smile.

"Welcome fans!" he shouted with much enthusiasm. "I, Chris McLean, am back with a brand-spanking new season of Total Drama! Last season, we saw fourteen rookies battle it out in the ferocious wilds of Pahkitew Island, all while enduring starvation, brutal attacks from robotic animals, and some of the harshest challenges this show has ever seen!"

Chris took a brief moment to chuckle as he reminisced over the many mishaps that had occurred during the previous season. "That game of Truth or Scare was definitely one of my better ideas," he gloated before focusing back on the camera. "If you folks at home liked all of that, then you're gonna love what we've got this time around! During my vacation I took a little time to read some of my many fan letters to see what everyone wanted to see when Total Drama made its comeback. For starters, to all those who love nostalgia, this season takes place at a familiar setting."

The camera then panned away to give the audience a full view of the island Chris was on, its most glaring feature being a cliff shaped like a skull. "That's right!" Chris cheered. "Since Camp Wawanawkwa is no more, we're back at our old home away from home, Boney Island!"

"Home to prehistoric wildlife," the shot then switched to a monstrous looking beaver growling menacingly at an equally vicious goose, "As well as the vicious mutants from our fourth season!" an almost jungle-like area was then shown where several roars and screeches could be heard."

Chris was once again in the center of the camera's frame before he continued. "Not only that, but I've got some special surprises in store for the contestants that are better kept secret until the time is just right." His face then grew into a dark smirk. "Or until I get bored, whichever comes first! Ha ha ha!"

He lazily shrugged. "You'll just have to wait and see, right here, right now on, Total! Drama! Once...Again!"

*theme song plays*

Following the intro, the camera switched back to show Chris still standing on Boney Island's newly built dock.

"Time to get things underway," he said walking toward the dock's end. "What would Total Drama be without its competitors?" He stopped momentarily to stroke his chin in thought. "Probably much more of me which in my opinion, would make for a much better show. But unfortunately, it just wouldn't be the same without teens to torment, ha ha!"

He then gazed towards the lake to see that a boat was approaching. "Speaking of which," he grinned. "It looks like the first of our cast is about to arrive! From Total Drama: Pahkitew Island, the zombie-obsessed nut job and ultimate survivor, winner Shawn!"

The scruffy boy stepped off his boat cautiously before peering at his new surroundings. "Looks okay," he muttered. "Having this season on another island's a smart move, Chris. I've been doing some research and it seems the theory that zombies can't swim is solid."

The host proceeded to roll his eyes. "Really wise choice investing your winnings into something like that zombie boy," he said sarcastically before jerking his thumb towards the opposite end of the dock. "Just go stand over there." Shawn merely shrugged at the jab and did as he was told before the next boat arrived.

"And here is contestant number two," Chris announced with a smile. "Athletic heartbreaker and Shawn's fellow finalist, it's Sky!"

"Hey there Chris, is uh Dave here yet?" the gymnast nervously asked as she made her way down the dock. At hearing such a question, Chris's grin grew wider.

"Dave? Germophobe Dave?" he began to ask in a mocking voice. "The same Dave who you rejected multiple times on international TV in favor of one million dollars? That Dave? Nope! Not here yet!"

Sky's shoulders slumped in sadness as she stood next to Shawn, her eyes cast downward the whole time. Shawn gave her a sympathetic pat on the back before glaring at Chris. "Man that was just not cool," he said.

"As if I worry about what you kids think," Chris replied. He then gestured to the latest boat to arrive. "Meanwhile, our next player just pulled up! Queen of the Outback, it's Jasmine!" Shawn quickly smiled at this as he saw his Australian girlfriend step onto the dock.

"Huh, gotta say that I'm impressed Chris," Jasmine said looking at Boney Island's mountains. "Might be smaller but this place looks like more of a challenge than Pahkitew."

"Oh I bet you won't be disappointed Jasmine," Chris said gleefully. "The fun hasn't even started yet!" The tone his voice was in slightly unnerved Jasmine, but such feelings were soon forgotten the second she saw her boyfriend running up to her. "Shawnie!"

The pair were quick to embrace each other which helped turn Sky's glum frown into a smile. "It's great to see that you two are still together. Even in spite of the distance."

"It ain't easy, I'll give you that," Jasmine said as she lifted Shawn up in the hug. "But it's more than worth it. All the guys back home are about as charming as crocs compared to Shawn." She put him down and then thought for a second. "Actually scratch that. That'd be insulting to the crocs."

"Aw thanks Jasmine," Shawn said warmly. "I can't tell you how much I missed you."

"Right back at ya mate," Jasmine replied. "But, are you sure you're gonna be alright here?" When she saw his confused expression, she gestured toward the skull-shaped cliff which caused his eyes to swiftly dilate.

"Zombie!" he shrieked right before passing out from the shock. As Jasmine and Sky both attempted to wake him up, Chris didn't even try to hide his laughter.

"Man I was waiting for that!" he exclaimed before wiping a tear from his eye. "I was honestly hoping for a little more of him spazzing out before fainting but hey, the day is still young!"

"What is this? Laughter at another's anguish? The poor fool must've seen me coming." Someone from behind Chris spoke up. Turning around to see who was talking, the host quickly frowned. "Oh great," he deadpanned. "Welcome back Max. How've you been?"

"Why I've been evil of course!" the self-proclaimed super villain shouted in a hammy fashion. "Chris McLean I must thank you, for all the suffering I was forced to endure has made me harder, crueler, even more-"

"Yawn!" Chris interjected, effectively cutting Max off. "Don't really care. But look! Here's someone who might; Scarlett!"

Hearing that name was more than enough for Max to crouch into a fetal position. "No! Not her!"

Jasmine and Sky look startled as well but when Scarlett did not appear, they turned to Chris who proceeded to snicker. "Kidding!" he joked. "Yeah, no way is that psychopath ever coming back! Instead, here comes one of the very few normal people to be on Total Drama, or at least he used to be; Dave!"

Dave stepped onto the dock, looking anything but happy as he did so. Sky initially froze at the sight of him but as he made his way toward the end of the dock, she managed to work up the nerve to open her mouth. "Dave, I..."

Before she could say anymore, Dave held up his hand which caused her to go quiet. "Whatever it is you have to say, I don't wanna hear it," he told her coolly. "Why don't you go tell it to Keith or whatever his name is?" He then walked right past her, not even casting a glance to anyone else.

"Wow. Even I am not that sinister," Max, who was now back up on his feet, said breathlessly. Jasmine, still holding onto the unconscious Shawn, silently nodded while glowering in Dave's direction.

"So much drama with only five people here, I am loving this!" Chris noted before turning to see the next boat arrive. "And with a lot more still to come, let's welcome Amy and Samey!" The twins walked off their boat, the second one to disembark struggling to carry an incredibly large amount of luggage

"Ugh! Like, what the heck McLean?" Amy snapped with a sour look on her face. "It's bad enough having to come back to this uber-sucky show. Why does she have to come back with me?!"

"Meh, what can I say?" Chris shrugged in response. "Without one there really isn't as much tension for the other." Amy childishly stomped her foot after hearing this.

"Samey! Take my stuff to the end of the dock, now!" she demanded to which her younger twin responded with a sad sigh.

Just as Sammy was about to comply with Amy's order, Jasmine stepped in front of her looking confused.

"Uh mate? Just what is all this?" she asked in a gentle voice. "I thought you were gonna stand up for yourself and quit letting Amy push you around."

Sammy opened her mouth to reply but before she could speak, Amy rudely shoved her from where she stood.

"I believe I said 'now' Samey!" she snapped. As her sister quickly walked away from her, she turned to face the Australian who was giving her a dirty look.

"I can see that you haven't changed Amy," Jasmine said ruefully to which the cheerleader merely smirked.

"Yeah, like no and neither has Samey," Amy sneered. "She might have thought she was growing a backbone, but back home without you around, she's remembered her place." And with that she smugly strutted away from Jasmine with her hands on her hips.

"Wow, you can just feel the love all over the place," Chris butted in before turning to see the next contestant. "In the meantime, here's the ultimate failure when it comes to such a subject; Rodney!"

"'Ultimate failure?'" the large country boy repeated in confusion. "What do you mean by that?" Before anyone could offer an answer, the sound of an old foghorn could be heard.

"And comes the last member of the Pahkitew Island cast to be brought back," Chris announced, happy to avoid the awkwardness that had come with Rodney's question. "The man of a thousand sounds, Beardo!"

"Wonderful, just wonderful," Dave muttered. "As if things weren't annoying already."

Beardo stepped off his boat and strutted down the dock with his things, mimicking the sound of applause as he did so. A few of his fellow campers smiled at this, even Sky was beginning to perk up. Others however (mainly Amy and Max), looked just as irritated as Dave.

"All right, all right Beardo, that's enough," Chris said looking a little peeved at the noise himself. "Don't push your luck. Just go stand by the others." The hairy teen ceased his strut and the sound and quickly obeyed.

"Hold on," Sammy spoke up. "There are only nine of us here. That can't be it, can it?"

"Oh puh-leeze!" Amy scoffed. "As if you would know Samey!"

"Actually, Samey is right," Chris piped up. "We have many more people who haven't gotten here yet. In fact, to ensure that this will be Total Drama's biggest season, there'll be a total of twenty-six of you kids from all three generations!"

"Twenty-six?" Sky asked startled. "There's never been that many players in a single game before!"

"Correctamundo!" Chris replied proudly. "And here's comes another one! From Revenge of the Island and All-Stars, brilliant bubble boy Cameron!"

"Greetings everyone!" he cheerily greeted the Pahkitew Island competitors. "I was hoping to meet some of you ever since I saw last season. Tell me, what were the robotic animals like?"

"I really wouldn't worry about them if I were you Cam," Chris informed him before any of the campers could answer his question. "There will be plenty of real, live things here that you oughta be afraid of."

"Yeah, like sha-me!"

Cameron gulped in fear at the sound of the voice and turned around to see the latest contestant come; an irate looking jock with bleach white hair.

"Lightning everyone! Revenge of the Island's second place winner AKA first place loser!" Chris announced with a smile at Cameron's discomfort. The bubble boy tried a smile as the muscled young man approached him. "Oh, hello there L-Lightning. W-What've you been up to?" he stuttered out.

"Getting ready to sha-crush you twerp," Lightning growled as he towered over Cameron. "I let myself get distracted last time, but now I will get my revenge on you!"

Several of the other campers looked ready to intervene in the confrontation, but a new voice rose up that stopped Lightning from advancing any further.

"Even if you were to cause Cameron harm, that won't change anything between you and your father."

Lightning froze in place as Dawn suddenly appeared behind him with a stern expression. Strangely though, a boat had not come to drop her off.

The moonchild took advantage of the opportunity to step in between Lightning and Cameron.

"I'm truly sorry for the unkind way he regards you Lightning," Dawn said. "But that was never Cameron's fault. Don't take your aggression out on him."

Lightning stared at her incredulously but quickly remembered where he was and regained his composure. Rolling his eyes, he scoffed at her. "Psh! Whatever. Just keep outta the Lightning's way. You too shrimp."

As he stormed off, Chris couldn't help but laugh. "Man was that intense!" His smile then quickly became a light scowl. "But Dawn, that wasn't cool the way you came here before I could introduce you. How'd you even manage that? We had others scheduled to get here before you."

His words fell on deaf ears however as many of the campers began to gush and praise Dawn for her deed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Cameron exclaimed as he hugged Dawn in gratitude. "That was amazing!"

"You're welcome my friend, but it was really nothing," Dawn said modestly. "He really isn't too bad. His aura just needs a little...okay, a lot of picking."

"Oh em gee, so you really can see auras?" Sammy asked with wide eyes. With her sister now gawking at Lightning's figure, she had decided to slip away from holding up the bevy of her suitcases.

"I can," Dawn nodded. "And I have to say yours is a beautiful yellow-green." She then leaned closer towards Sammy and her brows furrowed. "But there is a tinge of dark brown. Something has you very worried."

"Wow," Sammy said in awe. Beardo nodded in agreement as he let out a whistle.

Dave however did not look as impressed. "Oh brother," he muttered. "This girl could give Leonard a run for his money. I'd ask what's next but I doubt I'd like the answer."

Dawn then approached Jasmine and Shawn, the latter still passed out from his scare. "Oh dear, that's no good," she said with concern before looking up at the (very, very much) taller girl. "May I?"

Jasmine shrugged as she gently handed Shawn over to her. As she took him onto her shoulder, Dawn pressed two fingers against his forehead and whispered something so quietly, no one could quite make it out.

Suddenly Shawn began to stir and finally opened his eyes as Dawn stood him up on his feet. "Aww man my head," he groaned. "Feels like I took a trigonometry and chemistry test at the same time!"

He was then scooped up by his girlfriend. "You're okay!" she cheered and then looked down at the moonchild. "Thanks there Shortstuff!"

Dawn simply beamed in reply. Unfortunately, the kind moment was cut short as the latest arrival began to voice their opinion on it.

"Well ain't this a sweet sight?" Scott quipped sarcastically as he stepped off of his boat. "Almost as sweet as Mama's weasel-custard pie."

That remark, along with the schemer sniffing his armpit as he went to join the group, was more than enough to cause several people to gag, Chris included.

"Dude seriously," the host said, grossed out. "What backwater part of the country are you from?!"

"Psh! Even if I told you, I seriously doubt you or any of these losers for that matter could last a day Chris."

Now anyone who wasn't gagging was glaring at the dirt farmer. Fully aware of this, but not caring, he took his place only to be met with a face he wasn't too fond of.

"Wow Sharkbait, not even here a full thirty seconds and you're dissing everyone? Guess you miss your precious CIT, huh?"

Jo had just arrived with her duffel bag slung over her shoulder and decided not to waste any time in mocking Scott. He however, simply turned up his nose at the tomboy.

"Go get under someone else's skin Friendly Fire," he deadpanned, not having forgotten the leech incident.

"I keep saying you should've ducked," Jo shot back before shoving her way past him and then observing who else was present. "This is supposed to be the competition this year? With the exception of the Amazon, I can't say that I'm impressed."

Many of the campers grew angry at such a statement, including Jasmine who didn't appreciate her height being brought up. However, only one actually said what was on everyone's minds.

"What gives you the right to talk to us that way?" Sky asked, anger at such rudeness having fully replaced her sadness. "Didn't you watch last season at all?"

"Uh no," Jo replied bluntly. "I've actually got a life, I don't need to waste it watching this sorry excuse for a show anymore."

Sky could only blink in confusion. "Then, why did you even bother to come back?"

"Contracts!" Chris interjected before pulling out a large stack of papers and waved it around patronizingly. "The ultimate weapon in the world of movies and television!" He then nonchalantly tossed them over his shoulder as if they were nothing, knowing he had a plethora of copies to spare.

"Now to continue. Our next contestant is none other than...*cough*...Hey!" The host had been cut off as a cloud of hairspray surrounded him, throwing him into a hacking fit. "Anne...*cough*...Maria! *cough* Knock it off already!"

The Jersey Shore Reject didn't appear to hear him as she continued to excessively spray her signature pouf as she strutted confidently down the dock.

"Hey, hey! How are y'all doin'?" she greeted after finally lowering the can. Now without anything blocking her vision, she had a clear view of her fellow competitors.

"Oh my. No style at all..." She appeared shocked at first, but quickly broke into a grin. "Oh dis is gonna be fun! I love a project!" She quickly ran up to Beardo, who she had deemed the least fashionable of all, brushing past everyone else.

"You'll be first," she said to the beatboxer, who suddenly looked quite nervous. She then grabbed some of his beard with one hand and part of his afro with the other. "These two disastas, gotta go like now."

Beardo backed away in fear and began releasing a sound reminiscent of a submarine alarm.

"What da heck is his problem?" Anne Maria asked, offended. "I'm offerin' him a free makeover!"

"I know you have the nicest of intentions Anne Maria, but you may wish to try a less assertive approach," Dawn offered kindly, placing a hand on the tanned girl's shoulder. "Beardo's afro and beard are very precious to him. Saying that you plan to get rid of them is like someone else saying that they wished to get rid of your hair."

"WHAT?!" Anne Maria shrieked. Without warning she grabbed Dawn and began to vigorously shake her. "Who said that?! Jo?! Scott?! They are so gettin' a beatdown!"

"A-hem!" Chris ostentatiously cleared his throat, redirecting everyone's attention back to him. "As humorous as that would be Anne Maria, we've only got so much time and the next boat's nearly here."

The moonchild sighed after the Snooki look-alike let her go. The sentiment had completely gone in one ear and out the other. She then gazed at her hand and was mildly disturbed at the amount of spray tan that now covered it.

"Moving on, here's one of Total Drama's most noble contestants," Chris announced. "And it was such a quality that left him getting shot out of a catapult; Brick!"

"Private Brick McArthur, reporting for another season of Total Drama sir!" the cadet declared marching onto the dock. Unfortunately, Brick's steps were a little too heavy for his own good as he hadn't moved but a few feet before smashing a hole into the dock.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Brick cried out in pain. While most of the teens looked concerned, others didn't even try to resist laughing at him along with Chris.

"Heh heh heh! That's always funny when it happens to someone else!" Scott smirked.

"Wow, do they like give out medals for being a total dope in military school?" Amy taunted.

"Listen to his pathetic whimpers!" Max joined in.

"First challenge hasn't even started yet and you've already gotten yourself stuck in the dock," Jo chuckled wiping away a tear. "You haven't changed a bit Maggot."

Though he was still in pain, Brick did not let their words get him down. "With all due respect ma'am, I am not stuck," he said with his head held high. He then made an attempt to pull his foot out of the hole. And then another. And another after that. His foot wouldn't budge at all.

"Okay, I am stuck," he admitted in defeat. This only caused those making fun of him to laugh even louder, much to the others' disgust. Luckily, the newest arrival was more than willing to lend the poor man a hand.

B, as relaxed and quiet as ever, had seen Brick's plight and was already going through his luggage to find just the right thing to solve the problem. After taking out and putting aside a wrench, a pocketknife, multiple Phillips and flat-head screwdrivers of varying sizes, he finally found what he was looking for; a bottle of motor oil.

The silent genius poured some of the oil onto Brick's boot, wrapped his arms around him and in a quick and fluid motion, lifted him free of the hole, much to the cadet's relief.

"Much obliged solider," Brick thanked him with a salute. B in return pounded his chest with his fist before shooting Brick a finger pistol.

"Oh please," Scott sneered. "As if anyone couldn't have done that, Beverly." Hearing his real name caused B's smile to turn into a frown. The big fella had not been looking forward to hearing that or seeing his rival again.

"Then why didn't you?" Dawn asked, coming to her friend's aid. She ignored Scott's following glare in her direction to reunite with B.

"Nice one B!" Chris praised. "But you know, a lot of the fan letters had questions about whether or not you can talk or not. How about giving those at home a couple words now, in honor of the first episode?"

B rubbed his chin in thought, gave a shrug and then opened his mouth.

"Yah, my great-great-great Uncle Roger invented letters! Before him, people could only scream messages really loudly to each other!"

B quickly cast an annoyed look at the compulsive liar who had cut him off. Staci had just gotten to Boney Island, and wasn't wasting any time in beginning one of her tall tales.

He wasn't the only one irritated. Several other campers had covered their ears the minute they saw Staci who with her back turned to Chris, was completely oblivious to what he was about to do.

"And my great-great grandma Doris invented-" she rambled before being cut off by the resounding blast from an air horn that had been brought out by the host, who was now conveniently wearing a pair of earmuffs.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" Staci yelled.

"Figured I'd nip that in the bud right here," Chris explained after taking the earmuffs off and tossing the horn aside. "For it isn't story time Staci. Now that you're here, it is time for the players from our very first cast to begin making their grand entrances!"

"What?" Staci asked holding a hand up to the ear that had gotten the brunt of the horn's noise.

"Hush now," Chris said holding up an index finger in front of the chatterbox's mouth. "Because here comes one of the very few people I know who can talk almost as much as you; a girl who's dedicated her life to learning anything and everything about Total Drama's contestants, in spite of how incredibly creepy it is, Sierra!"

Cameron began to nervously twitch at the mention of the uber-fan's name and quickly ducked behind B, who didn't appear to mind.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh my gosh! I'm back!" Sierra's squealed, her voice so shrill that it was hard for those closest to her not to cringe. "And this season takes place completely at Boney Island? I just have to snap some pics for my blogs!"

She quickly brought out a smartphone, only for the host (who had temporarily put his earmuffs back on) to quickly snatch it up.

"Ah-ah-ah Sierra," Chris scolded. "You of all people oughta know the rule on gadgets that can be used to communicate with the outside world." Sierra looked like a puppy that just had its favorite chew toy taken away.

"Chris please! I need that!" she begged, almost immediately on her knees and at his feet. "My readers, your fans, need to know what goes on this season!" The host didn't appear sympathetic in the least.

"Then they can wait for the season to actually air," he replied. "But thanks for the phone, I can always use another one."

"But, but, but," Sierra started to tear up. "Do you have any idea how many pictures of Cody I have on that?"

Chris began pressing a button on the phone several times. "Yeah, I'll be deleting those. Now the pictures of me, those I'll save." He paused and then saw just how upset Sierra was getting.

"Aw come on now," he groaned, pinching his brow. He then decided to quell her behavior before it could get worse (and knowing Sierra, it totally could). "Let's not do this. Look, the real Cody will be here soon enough. Will knowing that calm you down, and not do anything that'll bring damage to my dock? Seriously, it's already got a hole in it thanks to Brick."

"Cody?" Sierra immediately sprung up on her feet, her mood going through a complete turnabout. "He's here this season?! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She then embraced the host in what certainly sounded like a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Personal space! Personal space! You are invading mine! Let go!" Chris shouted. The obsessive girl obeyed and went to join the rest of the group, many of whom didn't know what to think or say about what they just saw. The sole exception was Cameron, who was mentally begging B not to move and allow Sierra to see him.

The host took a moment to brush himself off. "Okay, putting that little debacle in the past and keeping it there, let's move on. She's dark, she's grumpy, and probably someone who will never stop hating me, heh! It's Gwen!"

Said goth girl stepped onto the dock and did not share any of Chris's enthusiasm. "I am not in the mood McLean," she warned.

"Why ever not?" Chris asked, faking innocence. "I mean, just because this is the show where you've been injured, betrayed, and gone through two messy breakups, I see no reason for you to be just a smidge-" he was cut off when Gwen held up a picture in front of his eyes. "Oh my sweet boxers, what in the heck is that?!"

"This is a jerk that had been bullying my little brother while I was gone," Gwen explained before tucking the photo away into her skirt pocket. "So my friend Marilyn and I decided to shave his head and paint it yellow. Keep pressing my buttons and the same can be easily be done to you, got it?"

"You can't do that!" The host protested. "There is a clause in all of your contracts; any bodily harm that comes to any part of me, my hair especially, results in the immediate elimination to whoever caused it!"

The goth girl shrugged uncaringly. "All the more reason for me to do it."

Chris swallowed a lump in his throat and backed away from her nervously. "G-Got it. I'll b-be leaving you alone now."

Gwen smirked. "Glad to see that we understand each other," she said before joining the others. Brushing past Sierra, she gave a small smile when she saw her friend Cameron in his hiding spot. He smiled to her in return, but also held a finger up to lips as to signal her to not say anything. Gwen playfully rolled her eyes but made a motion of zipping her lips.

"Had I known that was going to happen, I would've had Chef out here for protection," Chris muttered. "Time to brighten up the mood with one of the more cheery competitors, Lindsay!"

The blonde beauty came walking down the dock with a radiant smile, unknowingly catching the eyes of several of the male campers. "Hi there Chip!" she said waving her fingers. "It is like so nice to see you again!"

"Why thank you Lindsay," Chris replied. "Nice to hear someone finally say that. But the name's Chris."

Lindsay blinked in confusion. "Chris? Are you sure?" she asked. Her eyes then widened in realization. "Oh I get it! You're trying to mess with me, aren't you? And before the first challenge even starts? That is so mean!"

She then left the bewildered host to join her fellow players, many of whom could only stare.

"Uh Lindsay," Sammy decided to be the one to speak up. "I um, I don't think he was trying anything. His name really is Chris."

"Oh I know," Lindsay leaned closer to whisper in the good twin's ear. "I just thought it'd be fun to trick him for a change! And it totally was!"

Sammy and a few others who were listening in on this began to snicker in spite of themselves, silently impressed with Lindsay's surprising cleverness. This laughter could be faintly heard by the host. "Teenagers," he said pinching the bridge of his nose. "All right, who's supposed to be next again?"

His question was quickly answered by the sounds of rock music booming in the distance. Everyone turned to see that on the newest boat coming was not one, but two contestants, Trent and Cody, who were respectively shredding on a guitar and bass as if there fingers were on fire.

Captivated by the song they were being treated to, several of the teens began to cheer and bob their heads in excitement. Even Chris was delighted at the sight, but no one was happier than Sierra.

"Codykins!" she happily shrieked while clapping at a frenzied pace. "That's my sweet Codykins!"

When the boat finally reached the dock, Trent and Cody with their packs on their backs, leapt off the bow and fell to their knees before the former played one final lick. Their newfound audience erupted into an uproar of applause and whistles causing the duo to exchange a grin and a fist bump before standing up. "Good to see that we've still got it," Trent remarked.

"As if there was ever any dou-" Cody began to say but was quickly cut off as his number one fan wrapped her arms around him and started to squeeze.

"Oh sweet Cody how I've missed you!" Sierra cooed, utterly oblivious to his discomfort which was obvious to pretty much everyone else. (Yes, that includes even Lindsay.) "Why haven't you been answering my calls? Or my texts and emails? I even sent you a carrier pigeon but you didn't reply back!"

"Sorry Sierra," Cody managed to choke out. The fact his face was beginning to change color was an indication of just how tightly the girl was hugging him. "I've been pretty busy for the last couple of weeks, what with the Drama Brothers breaking up."

The super fan's eyes widened in horror as she dropped him, allowing him the chance to take several deep breaths of air.

"WHAT?!" she yelled. "The Drama Brothers, breaking up?! That can't be true! It just can't be!"

Trent took advantage of the opportunity to step in between the two so to prevent her from ensnaring his friend a second time. "Sorry Sierra but it is true," he said. "The band is done, for good this time. Harold and Justin wanted different things so we decided to respect their wishes." He could see her lip quiver and could sense another outburst was only imminent. He took off his backpack and began to dig through it.

"But, I can offer you a little piece of consolation," he said before pulling out a CD. "The very last Drama Brothers album, the one that was recorded while we were on our European tour."

Sierra's jaw went slack as she stared at it. "Is that the one where Cody sings lead completely in Swedish?" she asked awestruck. The cool guy nodded. "Track number five," he replied.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

The super fan immediately attempted to swipe it out of his hand but he was able to back away and keep it away from her before she could reach it.

"Whoa! Hold on now," he said sternly. "I never said I would just give it to you. If you really want it, then there's something you're going to have to do to earn it."

Sierra clutched her hands tightly in front of her chest and stood closer to him, towering over him. "What is it?" she asked. "I'll do anything to have it! Anything!"

"Promise to leave Cody alone for the rest of the day and it's yours," Trent replied without missing a beat. Sierra looked shocked for a moment, but then began to chuckle, albeit with one of her eyes twitching.

"Oh Trent you kidder," she said forcing herself to keep an upbeat tone. "You know I couldn't possibly do that! We've only just been reunited! Now really, what can I do to have the CD?"

"I'm not kidding Sierra," the guitarist replied calmly. "He and I just got here and you've already hugged him so hard he can barely stand up!" To prove his point he motioned downward towards Cody, the geek shaking every time he inhaled. Sierra however didn't seem to see any problem as she made to embrace him once more only for Trent to step in a second time. "But to prove how serious I am, I'll sweeten the deal. I'll also throw in my CD player and a pair of Cody's old headphones."

Sierra's face lit up like a Christmas tree after hearing this. "Headphones that used to be on Cody's ears?" she gasped. "It's a deal!"

She and Trent shook on it before the musician dug out the player and the phones out of the boy's luggage. "He's got more than one pair so he won't really mind, right Cody buddy?" By this point the geek had managed to get back up on his feet and tentatively gave a thumbs up while hiding behind his friend.

"Now head to the end of the dock and I'll toss them to you," Trent instructed. The obsessive girl eagerly nodded and blew Cody a kiss (which he didn't hesitate in dodging) before barreling through the rest of the group to go where she was told. True to his word Trent held the CD as if it were a Frisbee and threw it in her direction.

"Ow!"

Unfortunately his aim was a little off as it ended up hitting her in the eye, the force being strong enough to knock her backward into the lake.

"Oops," Trent said with a cringe. "Sorry about that!" Cody then came out from behind him and let out a relieved sigh.

"That was close," he remarked. "A few more seconds and I just know she would've broken my ribs. Thanks big bro." Trent smiled down at him and gave him a gentle nudge with his elbow. "Anytime little bro."

"Impressive negotiating. I must say I wouldn't have expected that from you Trent."

The new voice from behind them caused both boys to jump slightly before they turned to see Courtney now on the dock with them. Trent sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "What can I say? This isn't the first time we've had to convince Sierra to give Cody some space."

"I see," Courtney said. Peering past the large crowd to where the super fan had fallen, seeing that in spite of the rest of her body being submerged, she made sure to keep the CD aloft and dry. "But are you really sure that it's smart to trust her to hold her end of the bargain?"

"Whoever said we trusted her?" Trent asked rhetorically. "That was really just to give Cody enough time to find a place to hide from her. Which reminds me..." He turned to see that the geek had already disappeared from his side. He and Courtney looked around before spotting a hand waving at them from behind Beardo's afro.

"I'm way ahead of you buddy," he called out. "Sorry ladies, but the Code-meister's gotta go incognito for a little while!"

Courtney couldn't help but roll her eyes at this. "Somehow I think they'll manage," she deadpanned. "You know he really should just be up front with her on how much she bothers him," she said to Trent, who knowingly nodded. She began to walk down the dock ahead of him and was soon greeted by a stare cold enough to freeze a sun. "Oh, hello Gwen. It's, it's nice to see you again."

The goth girl merely crossed her arms and scowled at the CIT. "Funny how you of all people would start the season off speaking about trust and being up front with people," she said with great disdain.

Instead of replying with a haughty remark or losing her temper as one might expect, Courtney cast a remorseful look. "Right," she said quietly. "I was wondering if I could talk to you later today?" Gwen held up a hand and turned away from her. "Save it," she replied. "You already fooled me once, I am not giving you the chance to fool me twice."

"Hey, hey, hey easy now," Trent interjected, taking both girls (particularly the goth) by surprise. "It's only the first day, let's not add any more drama than necessary. Isn't that what Chris is for?"

"Too true music man," the host noted with pride. "And with only two kids left to come, a massive amount of said drama is sure to get underway soon!"

The penultimate boat came with a very excited Tyler on board. "Aw yeah baby!" the jock exclaimed while pumping his fists in the air. "The T-man's here, and things are about to get extreme!"

He proceeded to somersault off of the railing but made the mistake of spreading out his legs during his descent, causing him to land right on his crotch.

"Ooh! I totally saw that coming and it still hurts to see it!" Chris cringed. Every other male on the deck felt the same way, covering their lower bodies and looking at the jock sympathetically.

"Mommy..." Tyler squeaked out before falling over. Trent and Brick were quick to rush to his side and hoist him back onto his feet, the latter wrapping his arm over his shoulder for support.

"Easy there friend," Brick advised. "Just take it one little step at a time."

"Bro you might wanna dial it back on the stunts this time," Trent said. "There's no shame in slowing down."

Tyler, who was fighting back tears, weakly held up a fist. "No way man," he replied, his voice still at a high pitch. "You know what they say, go big or go home, and I do not wanna go home early this time!"

"I can appreciate such a gung-ho attitude Tyler," Brick said respectfully. "But Trent is right. At least make sure to be sporting a cup from now on."

When they reached the others, the jock had recovered enough to walk on his own. "I uh, actually did have one," he admitted, his voice beginning to deepen to its original octave. "But I didn't put it on because I didn't think I'd need it so soon."

"And here I thought Lightning was stupid," Jo said.

Tyler glared at the tomboy for such belligerence and needed Brick and Trent to restrain him from confronting her. Nobody was going to stop the other boy she insulted though.

"At least he and I actually look our gender Man Lady!" Lightning shouted, getting in Jo's face.

As the two aggressive athletes began to exchange obscenities, Tyler was soon face to face with a much bigger problem.

"L-Lindsay, h-hey there," he stammered weakly. "L-Long time no see."

Much to the surprise of everyone Lindsay, well known for being incessantly bubbly, without warning burst into tears and ran into the arms of the person nearest to her, Sammy.

"What is it? What's wrong?" the confused cheerleader asked. Lindsay lifted her head up, her makeup now beginning to run, tried to speak but saw Tyler and began sobbing once more. The shocked teenagers gazed toward the dock who could only look down in shame.

"We broke up," he said in a quiet voice. "After Total Drama All-Stars." No longer feeling too confident or keen, he shifted uncomfortably which was a signal to Brick to let him stand on his own. "I'd, rather not talk about it."

"What?! How could you not talk about it?! This is a travesty!"

The jock flinched as a dripping wet Sierra made her way back onto the dock, her expression a combination of despair and curiosity.

"Everyone who follows my Lyler blog will be in an uproar!" she exclaimed approaching Tyler, who was growing more and more uneasy. His newly revealed ex-girlfriend crying even harder into Sammy's shoulder wasn't helping matters.

"When did it happen? Who dumped who? Have either of you been seeing anyone else since?" Sierra had gotten a notepad and pen out by this point and was pressing Tyler with more and more questions, none of which he wanted to answer. Luckily, the last person to arrive would put a stop to her prying.

"I've got a question; how many times would I need to punch you in the mouth to get you to shut up?" Eva asked crossly. Sierra was startled and turned to see the muscled young woman standing behind her, looking impatient and annoyed.

"But I can't shut up!" the super fan protested. "Don't you understand the severity of the situation?! Lyler was the first official hookup in Total Drama history!"

"I can understand," Eva said. "I just don't care. All I care about is you standing in my way and your squawking hurting my ears!" She grabbed Sierra's necklace and yanked it to pull her close, balling her empty hand into a fist. "Now shut up and move or you'll play this season with a toothless mouth, got it?"

Sierra was by no means a weak person but she was well aware that her strength was easily dwarfed by Eva's. She immediately shut her mouth and nodded to show that she understood. Satisfied, Eva let her go and took a deep breath.

"Much better," she said cracking a small smile. As she took her place, those around her made sure they weren't too close, not wanting to receive a similar threat.

"Eva's calm now right? She's not about to cause someone major body damage?"

The contestants could hear the voice of their host but none could actually see him. Chris had apparently vanished right before Eva had arrived. The tough girl rolled her eyes before calling out, "Yeah, I'm good McLean!"

Chris then peeked out from behind Rodney, the only large-framed male camper who hadn't had anyone hiding behind him until that moment. Several of the teens sent him unimpressed looks when he began to walk back to the front of the dock, which he took in stride.

"Hey, if Gwen was gonna threaten me right off the bat, then I wouldn't dare take the chance with Eva."

Chris then turned to face all twenty-six teenagers. "Now that everyone's finally here, why don't we commemorate such a momentous occasion?" He pulled a camera out of his back pocket. "Picture time!" Had the daggers everyone glared at him been real, Chris would've had an incredibly gruesome death. "...What?"

"Seriously Chris, just how gullible do you think we are?" Courtney asked crossing her arms. "That's the same trick you pulled back in the first episode!"

"Back when life first began," Sierra whispered misty-eyed. Nearly everyone became disturbed at such creepy words, backing away from her as much as they could.

"R-Right. Anyway, you're sure to have a bomb planted on the dock this time and were just waiting to blow us up!" Courtney continued.

Dave scoffed. "We'll be lucky if it's just one. Who's to say he doesn't have at least a dozen down there?"

As some of the others began to murmur in agreement, Chris's grin drooped. "So...no one's for the photo then?"

"NO!"

The host rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fine, fine, you got me," he scowled. "Just go on and meet at the new Boney Island bonfire pit to hear how this season's gonna go down, you buncha killjoys!"

The teens picked up their belongings and one by one made stepped off of the dock and onto the actual island. Unbeknownst to them, the host was actually now wearing a bigger and much more evil grin than before.

"You think those kids would've learned by now," he looked down at his wristwatch to check the time. "As if I would really do something so blasé." He held up three fingers and began a silent countdown before multiple explosions followed by several screams of pain were heard off-screen.

"Landmines," he explained to the camera. "I just love my job."

"CHRIS!"

"And now would be a good time for me to hide in Chef's kitchen while they cool off," he said before ducking out of the camera's view.

A brief time later after everyone had picked themselves up and recollected any possessions that had fallen out of their luggage during the explosions, all twenty-six teenagers were sitting on tree stumps and small logs while the host stood behind an oil drum. He wasn't alone however. Now he was accompanied by a burly, angry looking man that the competitors were all too familiar with; Chef Hatchet.

"Glad to see you maggots enjoyed out little surprise," the cook remarked. "I personally picked them out, heh heh heh!"

The host added his own sadistic chuckle as he and Chef shared a high five.

"As you can see, the big guy and I are really raring to go with the torment that'll come very, very soon this season," Chris said with a smirk. "But first there are some things that need to be brought to light. First off, those of you who competed in Pahkitew Island will be happy to know that there will be proper accommodations for you kids."

Several campers, particularly Dave, looked relieved by this. Unfortunately, Chris wasn't done.

"Yep! Cabins that have been flown in from a different camp from the mainland! One that's been closed since 1953. That means they're very likely to have even more rats and roaches skulking around inside than our old Wawanawkwa cabins did."

Nearly everyone looked disgusted at such a revelation.

"Once again ladies and gentlemen Chris McLean shows us his great generosity," Gwen snarked.

"Why did I let myself think that he was actually going to act humanely toward us?" Dave complained. He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Sky looking at him.

"Well, it's still going to be better than sleeping on rocks in a cave right?" she attempted to console him. Dave however stood up and went to another stump and made sure that his back was to her when he sat down, much to the gymnast's sorrow.

The only two campers who didn't appear bothered by the information were Jasmine and Shawn who hardly ever slept indoors anyway.

"Makes sleeping up on a tree branch seem even better, huh?" the Australian asked her boyfriend.

"Totally," Shawn agreed. "I'd still be careful though. If those cabins really are over sixty years old, who knows what could creep out from under the floorboards during the day."

"Yo Chris!" Anne Maria spoke up. "Where are dese cabins anyway? Even if they are cruddy, I gotta make sure all my haircare products are safe."

"Now that's a sentiment I can agree with Anne Maria," Chris replied. "The cabins are located on the other side of the island. Reaching them will be one of your goals during the first challenge. Not to worry though, our newest batch of slaves," he briefly cleared his throat, "I mean interns will cart your stuff over there while you're competing. Whether or not they'll actually be careful, well you can ask someone who cares, i.e. not me."

"Hold on," Courtney said. "We're beginning the first challenge now? What about the teams?"

"That's the other goal of the challenge," Chris replied. "Well, somewhat." He continued after seeing many confused faces. "This challenge will have not one, but two winners who will serve as the team captains up until we hit the merge. They get to choose their teams before the second challenge in three days."

Brick had his hand up. "Does this mean that there won't be an elimination ceremony tonight?" he asked.

"You are correct cadet!" the host said shooting Brick a finger pistol. As everyone began to smile, he started to wag his finger at them. "However, I wouldn't get used to it if I were you. After today, eliminations will be held after every challenge."

Smiles were now replaced with worried grimaces to which Chris cackled. "Now any other questions before we get started?"

"Just what responsibilities come with being a captain?" Courtney asked.

Chris grinned. "Not surprising that you'd be the one most interested in finding out," he said. "Obviously the captains call the shots during challenges though I cannot guarantee that they'll always be listened to. In fact, I hope they aren't! Rebellion makes for some excellent conflict!"

He was then given a s'more on a plate. "For the captain of a losing team, a very hefty task comes with this little treat here; the Immunity S'more," he explained. "Before voting can begin, the captain must choose one team member to receive the S'more. Whoever's chosen is automatically safe from elimination."

Several hungry eyes began to gaze longingly at the s'more. "However I must stress," Chris continued. "A captain cannot keep the S'more for themselves. That being said, if whoever does get chosen to have it can get all of their teammates to agree, the S'more can be given back and the captain will have invincibility."

As the teens began to murmur amongst themselves over the rules of leadership, the host held up a hand to signal them to quiet down.

"Let's not have any of that," he said. "If you really wanna blab, you can do it in our old confessional outhouse, brought all the way back from Pahkitew Island."

(Confession Cam)

Cody - "Talk about intense! A captain will have twelve teammates and only one can be safe? That's gotta be the easiest way to make eleven enemies.

Courtney - "Naturally I was already planning to take on the role of leader, but now I have to make sure I win the first challenge! Allowing them to be immune might help me show Gwen and Scott how sorry I am!

Jo - "This is too perfect. Letting whichever saps I'm sure to be leading think I'll give them invincibility will ensure that I get a hundred and twenty percent performance from everybody during a challenge."

"So just what is the first challenge Chris?" Trent asked.

The host began to chuckle again, only much more darkly which soon made the musician regret his question. Chris directed their eyes over to a path leading into the forest.

"It's quite simple really," the host began. "Since we're back out in the woods, I feel it'd be best to test your survival skills. Your challenge is to race through the forest using the same type of traps hunters use to catch their quarry; pits, snares, you name it, it's in there just waiting for ya!"

"That's horrible!" Dawn gasped. "What if some of the actual animals have already fallen victim to them?"

Chris held up his hands. "Relax flower child," he said. "The animals were all put into cages before any of the traps were set."

"Cages?!" Dawn repeated in horror. "That's even worse!"

"Would you let me finish?" Chris griped. "Once a camper has fallen into a trap, one by one the cages will be opened via remote control." He then grinned evilly before listing them. "In addition to the woolly beavers and Stymphalian Canadian Geese, there will be bears, wolves, moose, wild boars, mountain goats, alligators, and ducks and bunnies coming after you kiddos. While they might not all be carnivorous, they are all extremely territorial and agitated from being locked up."

Some of the campers looked anxious at the prospect of being not only trapped but also attacked by wild animals while others looked confused as to why Chris included ducks and bunnies in such a list, the rest just listened to what else there was to know.

"The main objective is not to avoid the traps or the animals," Chris continued. "It's actually to avoid Chef, who was more than happy to reprise his role of 'Dork Hunter'."

He motioned over to Chef Hatchet who was now brandishing a large bazooka-like weapon. "You little pests can try all you like, but you won't see or hear me comin' till it's too late," he said. "One little shot from my spaghetti launcher and ka-blam!" He fired an enormous meatball as a demonstration, which ended up hitting Brick in the face. "You are out of the game!"

"AAAAHHH! So hot!" Brick shouted, much to the host's delight.

"Ha ha ha! Classic Chef!" he exclaimed gleefully. "But that isn't all! You keeners won't be just Chef's prey this challenge, you'll also be hunting two cameo contestants!"

Several surprised gasps could be heard, to which the host found much satisfaction. This proved that he was still more than capable of keeping the teenagers on their toes.

"That's right! Back during Revenge of the Island, the fans loved the cameos so much that I decided to bring that factor back this season! Whoever can capture one of these two, who I will say are some of Total Drama's wildest, will be rewarded with the position of team captain!"

Suddenly a loud whirring noise could be heard from above. Everyone looked to see a helicopter hovering over the island with two figures standing by its open door. Both jumped out and quickly deployed their parachutes to land safely before the campers. When it could be seen who they were, not many were happy.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Jo yelled in protest. "Of all people, you brought her back?"

"Oh no!" Cameron whined. "Why does he have to be here?"

"Well, /censored/," Gwen cursed.

The host swiftly stood in front of the camera to effectively conceal the identities of the cameo contestants from the audience.

"Just who are so many of the campers unhappy to see?" he began to announce. "Will they even be able to survive five minutes in the forest before they even think about hunting them? And who will embarrass themselves the most before the first day is over? Find out when we return, on Total! Drama! Once Again!"

To Be Continued...

This is much later than I originally planned but unfortunately life has a bad habit of getting in the way of doing what you enjoy. Allow me a moment to thank all of those who inspired me into writing this.

The Kobold Necromancer

Lord Akiyama

Animation Adventures

Fangren

chrisATD1

StarryOak

DeliriousDisposition

But the biggest thanks, has to go to my friend, an amazing writer and one of the most patient people I've ever had the privilege of knowing, Light of the Dawn. I cannot thank you for all your help with this my dear lady.

Now to begin, yes Tyler and Lindsay are no longer a couple. Not just here. It was confirmed by Tom McGillis that the pair broke up so if you don't believe me, look it up and you'll see for yourself. Originally I was going to keep them together but then I realized there was more potential for drama and character development for both of them by having them broken up here too.

Here is a cast list, just to be safe:

Cody, the Geek

Gwen, the Loner

Lindsay, the Dumb Princess

Trent, the Cool Musician

Courtney, the Type A

Eva, the Female Bully

Tyler, the Jock

Sierra, the Obsessed Uber-Fan

Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject

Brick, the Cadet

Cameron, the Wide-Eyed Bubble Boy

Jo, the "Take No Prisoners" Jock-ette

B, the Strong, Silent Genius

Dawn, the Moonchild

Lightning, the Athletic Overachiever

Scott, the Troublemaker

Staci, the Compulsive Liar

Amy, the Evil Cheerleader Twin

Jasmine, the Outback Survivalist

Max, the Super-Villain

Rodney, the Country Boy

Sammy, the Good Cheerleader Twin

Beardo, the Human Soundboard

Dave, the Normal Guy

Shawn, the Zombie Conspiracy Nut

and Sky, the Athlete

Every other Total Drama contestant will get a cameo or at least a mention. You can also expect quite a few references to competitors from the Ridonculous Race as well. Now of these twenty six there is but one couple, Jasmine and Shawn which leaves many options for new couples to be born. Feel free to suggest however many as you want but please keep in mind, I'll only consider suggestions that have good reasoning behind them. Tell me in detail why two certain characters would be good together I'll be sure to add it into my notes.

Besides couples, feel free to suggest conflicts, friendships, or rivalries too. Though I should say that the protagonist, the deuteragonist, the antagonist, and those who choose to follow the antagonist have already been decided.

I've pretty much got every challenge before the merge figured out but I'm more than willing to take in suggestions for those too should have any they're willing to offer.

Above all, please tell me what you liked and what you disliked about this first chapter. Tell me how I can make this story better, a more enjoyable read for all those kind enough to look at it.

I'll try to get started on the next chapter as soon as I can, but as to when it will be finished...I'm not sure to be honest. I'll do my best to make it soon though.

See everyone next time and please review! I crave reviews as much as Owen craves doughnuts.