I have been attacked by plot bunnies. This is the result.
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[karyuukai]

"It's you."

The old woman's finger finds her with unerring accuracy.

"You're the ninja girl."

Tenten wilts. The proctor beckons her away from the civilian extras behind which she's been desperately trying to hide for the past five minutes.

"This is the third time, Tenten-san," the man reminds her with a sigh. "The third time! And you haven't even gotten past Hana-obaa-san."

"I know," she whines, for once unable to help it. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

She flaps the sleeves of her kimono at him, as if trying to emphasize her absolute civilian-ness. Three failed Jounin Exams. Sure, a lot of chuunins failed just as often – but they usually gave up and stayed chuunin. Tenten kicks off her geta and wipes away her lipstick.

"I even went to Suzume-sensei – you know, that fussy lady who does the kunoichi classes in the Academy? The one with the makeup ant the …"

She trails off with a vague gesture to her face and a grimace. The proctor sighs at her. His name is Hiro-san – she knows that by now. Dear god, she knows all the proctors by name.

"Maybe," Hiro suggests, "you should think about ... other options."

"Give up, you mean," she bleats at him. "No way. I'm not a quitter."

"Not giving up," he disagrees delicately, "cutting your losses."

And then a little more wryly, "Before you really embarrass yourself."

"Ojo-chan, I really got to agree," the Hana-obaa joins in, ignoring the civilian women tittering in the background. "You, my darling, have all the grace of a rampaging bull. And also – a lady doesn't wear lipstick. You're not an oiran, are you?"

Hiro's cough sounds suspiciously like a laugh.

"There's no shame in that," the woman continues, either oblivious or dismissive of how the civilian girls are now outright laughing in a very unladylike fashion. "You're a great fighter, aren't you? I heard the boys talking about it, isn't that right, shinobi-san?"

She pats Hiro's arm fondly.

"Some just aren't made to be ladies."

Despite her embarrassment Tenten has to agree. She's not a lady. Never has been, never will be – and that's fine by her. She finds all those tea ceremonies and the makeup and the clothes boring, pretentious, and unnecessary.

And yet.

"But I want to be a jounin."

"It's ridiculous," she tells Neji over tea. "If there was a war I would have already been promoted, no problem."

"But there is no war," her teammate points out calmly. "And so you failed."

She glowers at him. Most of the time Tenten appreciates Neji being her sounding board. He's good at pointing out the obvious and bringing her back down to earth if she gets too excited about crap. But he's also an asshole that severely lacks tact.

"So what do I do then? I refuse to be stuck with courier missions for the rest of my life."

"You could become an Academy teacher."

There is a moment of profound silence. Then Neji averts his gaze, hiding his face behind his teacup, and Tenten starts to laugh.

She's disappointed, supremely so.

The problem is not having to take the Exam again. No, she's always been tenacious; she can deal with doing the same shit over and over again. It's more the looks she's been getting – a mix of pity and snideness. Hiro was right, she's embarrassed herself. 'Some people just don't know when to quit,' she heard some stupid chuunin say. As if that girl had a right to judge her. And then she remembers that she's a stupid chuunin, too.

So, yes, things aren't going so well. The next Exam is six months away; she could try taking it again. But she still kind of walks like a man and snorts when she laughs, so maybe it is time to let things go. Wait for another war, maybe. Ugh – damn that Naruto.

But if there's one thing Gai-sensei has taught her, aside from the fact that physical pain is all in your head and that blood comes out of spandex with baking soda, it's that quitting is never an option. And so the next time she sees him, by coincidence, on his upside-down morning run, she's overcome by a wave of guilt and shame.

"Sensei!" she wails, throwing herself at the man and tumbling them both to the floor. "I'm so sorry!"

"Tenten, youthful flower of my life!" he cries, completely unaffected by the knee she's somehow shoved into his face. "Your poker face is excellent, but your Sensei can somehow sense that something s troubling you!"

She grunts in agreement, carefully trying to crawl off him without hitting him in the face again.

"I failed the Jounin Exams. Again. And I think I'm going to quit because people are already laughing at me."

"No –don't give up!"

He grabs her hands, and she can see the fire of youth igniting in his eyes. Oh sheesh, that's going to take a while.

"Hard work overcomes even the biggest of hurdles! Do not let what others say dictate your passion – they do not know any better, you need to teach them about the burning youth –"

Oh yes. Another thing Gai-sensei has taught her: How to let things go in one ear and out the other. Sooner or later he's going to run out of steam; then she'll try and get a word in edgewise.

" – youth –"

" – perseverance –"

" – against all odds –"

" – … and that's why you shouldn't give up!"

She claps politely.

"Yeah, Sensei – but do you have any idea how I can pull that off?"

"But why, Tenten! You do the only thing you can do when you reach your limits: You seek a master to teach you!"

Then he leans down to her as if telling her quite a great secret.

"Between you and me, this field of expertise is beyond me. I'm afraid the youthful flower of femininity does not bloom in this field of masculinity."

Tenten affects an outraged gasp.

"But Sensei! Didn't you just tell me never to give up?"

"I believe the world will forgive me, for I do not look quite as fetching in a kimono as you do."

Snickering she stretches out in the dirt. A master of femininity, huh? It's not as if she hasn't tried that. And Suzume-sensei told her very clearly not to come back. There's Hinata-chan. But the poor girl has no idea how to teach her something she's been doing instinctively all her life. She's already tried talking to Ino-san and Sakura-san, but the girls were no help either. So what to do? Who could possibly be better suited to teach her than a teacher even?

"Ne, Gai-sensei? Who's the most feminine person you know?"

There's a teahouse not far from the Academy. It's not very big, but, despite the somewhat inconvenient location, rather busy. Tenten has never been there; chiefly because she had no idea that it existed. But even if she had, chances are that she'd never have stepped foot inside, because it is apparently a place frequented by clan people.

The teahouses she usually visits are always filled with laughter and the chattering of teenagers. Here conversation is but a quiet hum, accompanied by the soft clanging of teacups. Even Gai-sensei seems to dim a little as they enter, and Tenten tries to imitate him, softening her footsteps and trying to make herself look a little smaller. Her teacher leads her past groups of Hyuuga, Aburame, and the occasional Nara clansmen. There are more people that she can't place, but all in all the clientele here seems rather high society.

They follow the clanging of the shamisen to a table deep inside the teahouse. She can see no stage where it might come from, but then Gai-sensei takes a table and she realizes that they are right next to the musician.

It's a young woman, maybe a few years older than her. There's nothing particularly special about her; her kimono is simple, her hair long and straight, and she's not wearing makeup. But there's something about her. Something in the way she's holding herself, something in her expression maybe. Her eyes are half-lidded as she plays and the only sign that she's seen Gai-sensei motioning her over is an almost imperceptible nod and a smile.

For a few long moments they just sit there and listen. The song ends on an almost dissonant clang. There is no applause and the woman doesn't look as if she's expecting any. She puts the shamisen carefully aside, brings her sleeves in order, and rises carefully – upright, proud, and smooth, like a bunraku puppet being pulled up by a string. She hardly has to take two steps to their table, but even so Tenten can see the difference between this woman and herself.

"Good evening," the woman says in a gentle, cultured voice.

"Good evening," Gai-sensei beams at her. "Tenten – this is Omine-san. Omine-san – my student."

"Ohh?"

The woman claps her hands together in enthusiasm.

"Is that so? How lovely! Gai-san, you have never brought your students with you before – shame on you."

She covers her mouth to giggle, and even though she is chiding him, it all sounds so very charming that even Tenten has to grin.

"Aw no," she tells Omine, "it's not his fault. We're barbarians; can't take us anywhere."

"Don't let Neji hear you say that! You know the flames of his youth are easily ignited."

Tenten snorts.

"Neji-kun knows it's the truth. Lee-kun and I are tactless because we don't know any better; Neji-kun is just an assh-"

She breaks off, throwing Omine a wide-eyed look. But the woman is smiling at her as if she's the funniest thing ever, so Tenten leans over to her in a stage whisper.

"He's a Hyuuga," she says, as if that explains everything.

Which, frankly, it does. Omine covers her face with her hands to laugh. There are enough Hyuuga sitting around the teahouse; chances are the woman knows exactly what Tenten means. She takes a moment to muster the Omine. Black hair, dark eyes, a wide nose, and small lips. Omine is not particularly pretty. Not like Sakura with her lovely hair, or Ino with her striking features, or even the Hyuuga sisters with their traditionally beautiful looks and their huge racks. She looks normal. Like Tenten.

But her hair is very glossy, and her skin very clear. She looks neater, more sharply defined somehow, than anyone she has ever seen. As if someone had drawn on all of Omine's features with black ink and a very fine brush. Her demeanor is not overtly different either; she simply seems animated and personable without being attention grabbing. Genuine; that's the word.

"So this is the most feminine person you know," she blurts out, startling a wry look and – surprisingly – a blush out of her teacher. Gai-sensei gives Omine a sitting half-bow.

"I apologize, youthful Omine-san! I had an ulterior motive introducing my most fierce student to you!"

'Most fierce', huh? Maybe she is. Lee is certainly enthusiastic, but much too happy-go-lucky to be fierce. Neji is simply bull-headed.

"Is that so?" Omine enquires mildly, apparently not offended, but rather curious. Tenten nods emphatically.

"You see, I'm actually trying to get promoted. But there's a problem."

Omine raises her eyebrows in question.

"Indeed? How unfortunate! But how could I possibly help a ninja, Tenten-san?"

For a moment both ninjas fidget.

"I'm not feminine enough," Tenten finally bleats, more or less supporting her claim right away. "I need to pass myself off as a civilian woman, a geisha, and an oiran. But I can't even make a civilian old lady think that I'm a civilian."

She hangs her head in shame. Of course Omine will already have noticed how inadequate she is. She can't even call herself a good ninja if she can't take undercover missions – Tenten is a mediocre ninja. Omine folds her hands together.

"Oh dear. So you came to me for help? Is there no such thing as ninja classes for this sort of problem?"

Tenten can feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

"Yes … she told me never to come back."

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence before Gai-sensei clears his throat.

"And since I know that Omine-san is a geisha, I thought maybe you could pass your knowledge onto my youthful student. It would be such a shame if Tenten would be held back because there is no teacher to shine their passionate light of knowledge onto her!"

"I see, I see."

Omine taps her cheek in consideration.

"I'm afraid I cannot help you. I am retired –I have two children and a husband to care for, as well as a teahouse to run. But! –" she wiggles a finger at Tenten's disappointed face, "- if you are really serious, I can contact my former okaa-san. My old okiya is not too far from here."

For a moment Tenten stares at her in a strange mixture of gut wrenching relief and horror.

"Beautiful! Perfekt! Magnificient!" Gai-sensei cheers, before remembering to reign in his voice. "Omine-san, we owe you deeply! The fire of your youth is lighting the way for a lost soul!"

I'm not even sure if I want that, Tenten doesn't say. Right now she's still caught in a state of incredulous terror. She has no doubt that her thoughts are written all over her face; Gai-sensei merely likes to ignore such things. But Omine looks at her very earnestly.

"It is not going to be easy. It will be hard. But it will also be rewarding, and I have no doubt that Fujiha-dono can beat good manners into just about anyone. If this is really what you want, she can help you."

"This is what I want," Tenten croaks. "It scares the hell out of me, but if that's what it takes … I'm not a quitter."

Omine's grim look softens into a smile.

"That's good. Very good. I will write her immediately."

"Please do. I promise I won't embarrass you, Omine-san."

"A geisha. You?"

"Yes. So what?

The silence tastes a little different then it usually does. And then Neji throws back his head and laughs.

[karyuukai]

Geisha = an entertainer

Oiran = a high-class prostitute

Okiya = the place where a geisha is educated and lives

Okaasan (Okaa-san) = the okiya's owner who manages the geishas